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COLU/nBINE    LIBRARY.  ? 

^ 


Gulliver's    Travels 


By 

Dean  Swift. 


,^, 
w 


JOHN  VVANAMAKER, 

I-HILADELPHIA.  NEW    YORK. 


WOVO.  UTAH        "^ 


PREFACE. 


Through  the  kindness  of  the  Rev.  Charles  Bathurst  Wood- 
man, the  editor  is  enabled  to  offer  to  the  reader  some  inter- 
esting documents  respecting  the  original  publication  of  Gul- 
liver's Travels  which  have  not  been  hitherto  made  public.  In 
the  Life  of  Swift,  it  has  been  stated  that  these  Travels  were 
originally  designed  to  form  part  of  a  Satire  on  the  Abuse  of 
Human  Learning,  projected  by  Swift,  Pope,  and  Arbuthnot 
conjointly.    The  plan  of  the  work  was  probably  suggested 
by  the  celebrated  treatise  of  Ludovicus  Vives,  *'De  Abusu 
Literarum,"  and  Lucian's  True  History;   and  the  part  of  it 
completed   on  the  original   design   was   published   as  the 
Memoirs  of  Martimus  Scriblerus.    In  the  notes  to  this  edi- 
tion, it  has  been  stated  that  the  first  hint  of  these  Travels  ap- 
pears in  Scriblerus,  also  that  the  pedantic  Martin  was  origm- 
ally  designed  to  be  the  hero  of  the  tale,  and  that  Pope^was 
by  no  means  pleased  when  the  erudite  scholar  was  supplant- 
ed by  the  plain,  sturdy  seaman,  Lemuel  Gulliver.     Having 
so  far  deviated  from  the  original  plan.  Swift  perceived  that 
he  had  a  favorable  opportunity  for  assailing  his  political 
enemies  under  the  guise  of  fictitious  characters:    his  own 
disappointments  were  aggravated  by  the  sufferings  of  his 
friend  Bishop  Atterbury,  who  had  been  exiled  by  an  act  of 
attainder,— a  measure  of  questionable  justice  at  all  times, 
and  in  this  instance  equally  harsh  and  unnecessary.     The 
notes  will  show  that  Swift  fully  availed  himself  of  the  op- 

portunitv.  , 

When  the  work  was  completed,  he  appears  to  have  become 
alarmed,  and  anxious  to  conceal  his  authorship,  for  the  min- 
isters of  the  day  had  shown  little  scruple  in  the  use  of  means 
for  crushing  a  political  adversary,  and  the  law  of  libel  was 
administered  with  more  than  ordinary  severity.  Some  of  the 
artifices  which  the  Dean  em.ployed  to  save  himself  from  the 
Attorney-General  are  mentioned  in  the  Life;  we  shall  now 


4  PREFACE. 

show  that  he  at  first  kept  his  secret  from  his  publisher.  The 
following  is  the  letter  which  was  sent  with  the  MS.  when  it 
was  offered  for  publication. 

(Copy.) 
For  Mr.  Motte.  London,  Aug-ust  8th,  1726. 

Sir:  My  cousin,  Mr.  Lemuel  Gulliver,  intrusted  me  some  years  ago 
with  a  copy  of  his  Travels;  whereof  that  which  I  here  send  you  is 
about  a  fourth  part,  for  I  shortened  them  very  much,  as  you  will  find 
In  my  preface  to  the  reader.  I  have  shown  them  to  several  persons 
of  g-reat  judgment  and  distinction,  who  are  confident  they  will  sell 
very  well.  And  although  some  parts  of  this  and  the  following  vol- 
umes, may  be  thought  in  one  or  two  places  to  be  a  little  satirical, 
yet  it  is  agreed  they  will  give  no  offense,  but  in  that  you  must  judge 
for  yourself,  and  take  the  advice  of  your  friends,  and  if  they  or  you 
be  of  another  opinion,  you  may  let  me  know  it  when  you  return  these 
papers,  which  I  expect  shall  be  in  three  days  at  furthest.  The  good 
report  I  have  received  of  you  makes  me  put  so  great  a  trust  Into 
your  hands,  which  I  hope  you  will  give  me  no  reason  to  repent,  and  in 
that  confidence,  I  require  that  you  will  never  suffer  these  papers  to  De 
once  out  of  your  sight. 

As  the  printing  these  Travels  will  probably  be  of  great  value  to  you, 
so  as  a  manager  for  my  friend  and  cousin,  T  expect  you  will  give 
a  due  consideration  for  it,  because  I  know  the  author  intends  the 
profit  for  the  use  of  the  poor  seamen,  and  I  am  advised  to  say,  that 
two  hundred  pounds  is  the  least  sum  I  will  receive  on  his  account; 
but  if  it  shall  happen  that  the  sale  will  not  answer  as  I  expect  and 
believe,  then  whatever  shall  be  thought  too  much,  even  upon  your  own 
.  word,  shall  be  duly  repaid. 

Perhaps  you  may  think  this  a  strange  way  of  proceeding  to  a  man 
of  trade,  but  since  I  begin  with  so  great  a  trust  to  you  whom  I  never 
saw,  I  think  it  not  hard  that  you  should  trust  me  as  much;  there- 
fore if,  after  three  days  reading  and  consulting  these  papers,  you 
think  it  proper  to  stand  to  my  agreement,  you  may  begin  to  print 
them,  and  the  subsequent  parts  shall  be  all  sent  you,  one  after  an- 
other, in  less  than  a  week,  provided  that  immediately  upon  your  reso- 
lution to  print  them,  you  do  within  three  days,  deliver  a  bank  bill 
of  two  hundred  pounds,  wrapped  up  so  as  to  make  a  parcel,  to  the 
hand  from  whence  you  receive  this,  who  will  come  in  the  same  man- 
ner exactly  at  nine  o'clock  on  Thursday,  which  will  be  the  11th  in- 
stant. 

If  you  do  not  approve  of  this  proposal,  deliver  these  papers  to  the 
person  who  will  come  on  Thursday. 

If  you  choose  rather  to  send  the  papers,  make  no  other  proposal 
of  your  own,  but  just  barely  write  on  a  piece  of  paper  that  you  do 
not  accept  my  offer. 

I  am.  Sir,  your  humble  servant 

RICHARD  SYMPSON. 

On  a  slip  of  paper  which  seems  to  have  been  inclosed  in 
the  preceding  letter,  the  following  postscript  appears: 

To  Mr.  Motte,  August  13th,  1726. 

P.  S.— I  would  have  both  volumes  come  out  together,  and  published 
by    Christmas   at   furthest.  R.    SYMPSON. 

It  appears  that  this  communication  was  made  through  Mr. 
Erasmus  Lewis,  who  was  intimately  connected  with  Atter- 
bury,  and  that  neither  Pope,  Gay,  nor  Arbuthnot  were  ad- 
mitted into  the  secret,  though  some  intimation  of  it  was  con- 


PREFACE.  5 

veyed  to  Lord  Bolingbroke.  Mr.  Motte's  answer  to  the  pro- 
posal, though  very  business-Hke,  leads  to  a  suspicion  that  he 
had  penetrated  the  secret,  or  at  least  that  he  guessed  the  un- 
known author  to  be  a  person  of  some  importance. 

(Copy  of  Mr.  Motte's  reply  to  Sympson's  first  proposal.) 

Sir:  I  return  you  your  papers  with  a  great  many  thanks,  and  do 
assure  you  that  since  they  have  been  in  my  custody,  I  liave  faithfully 
deserved  the  good  opinion  you  expressed  of  my  integrity,  but  you 
were  much  mistaken  in  the  estimate  you  made  of  my  abilities  when 
you  supposed  me  able  in  vacation  time  (the  most  dead  season  of  the 
year),  at  so  short  notice  to  deposit  so  considerable  a  sum  as  £200. 
By  delivering  the  papers  to  the  bearer,  I  have  put  you  entirely  in  the 
same  condition  you  were  in  before  I  saw  them,  but  if  you  will  trust 
my  promise,  or  accept  any  security  you  can  contrive  or  require  for 
the  payment  of  the  money  in  six  months,  I  will  comply  with  any  meth- 
od you  shall  propoye.  In  the  meantime  I  shall  trust  to  your  honor, 
and  promise  that  what  shall  appear  to  be  more  than  the  success  of  it 
deserves  shall  be  repaid,  as  you  may  depend  upon  a  proper  acknowl- 
edgment, if  the  success  answers  or  exceeds  expectation.  I  have  only 
to  add,  that  before  I  received  your  letter,  I  had  fixed  a  journey  into 
the  country,  and  v/rote  to  some  dealers  there  to  appoint  times  when 
I  should  call  upon  them,  so  that  I  shall  be  obliged  to  set  out  this  day 
sennight  at  farthest;  therefore  if  you  think  fit  to  favor  me  with  any 
further  correspondence,  desire  I  may  hear  from  you  as  soon  as  possi- 
ble. 

A  considerable  delay  appears  to  Ijave  intervened,  the  cause 
of  which  is  not  explained,  but  it  probably  arose  from  Swift's 
caution,  and  fear  of  Walpole's  vengeance.  His  next  letter  is 
dated  in  the  spring  of  the  following  year.  Mr.  C.  B.  Wood- 
man has  compared  it  with  other  letters  of  Swift  in  his  pos- 
session, and  believes  it  to  have  been  written  by  the  Dean, 
though  in  a  feigned  hand. 

(Copy.) 

These   for  Mr.   Motte,    a  Bookseller   at  the  Middle   Temple   Gate,   in 
Fleet  Street. 

Mr.  Motte:  I  sent  this  inclosed  by  a  friend  to  be  sent  to  you,  to 
desire  that  you  would  go  to  the  house  of  Erasmus  Lewis,  on  Cork 
Street,  behind  Burlington  House,  and  let  him  know  that  you  are 
come  from  me;  for  to  the  said  Mr.  Lewis  I  have  given  full  power  to 
treat  concerning  my  cousin  Gulliver's  book,  and  whatever  he  and  you 
shall  settle,  I  will  consent  to,  so  I  have  written  to  him.  You  will 
see  him  best  early  in  the  morning. 

1   am  your  humble  servant, 
April  27th,   1727.  RICHARD   SYMPSON. 

Mr.  Motte  seems  to  have  lost  no  time  in  bringing  the  en- 
gagement to  a  close,  for  on  the  same  sheet  with  the  forego- 
ing is  the  following  memorandum  in  another  handwriting : 

London,  May  4th,  1727.— I  am  fully  satisfied.    E.  LEV^IS, 


6  PREFACE. 

The  following  fragment  of  another  letter  on  the  same  sub- 
ject shows  that  the  bookseller  was  anxious  to  comply  with  all 
the  requisitions  of  the  author.    The  beginning  is  lost. 

That  the  book  shall  be  published  within  a  month  after  I  receive 
the  copy,  and  if  the  success  will  allow  it  I  will  punctually  pay  the 
money  you  require  in  six  months.  I  shall  thankfully  embrace  the 
offer.  The  bearer  stays  for  an  answer,  so  tnat  I  can  only  offer  a 
proposal  without  assigning  a  reason. 

These  documents  were  preserved  by  Charles  Bathurst, 
Esq.,  the  grandfather  of  the  Rev.  Charles  Bathurst  Wood- 
man, who  was  originally  in  partnership  with  Mr.  Benjamin 
Motte.  The  Rev.  C.  B.  Woodman,  on  seeing  this  new  edi- 
tion of  Gulliver's  Travels,  proffered  the  copies  of  these  in- 
teresting documents  to  the  editor,  though  personally  un- 
known to  him,  and  the  editor  takes  this  opportunity  of  pub- 
licly expressing  his  thanks  for  so  valuable  an  edition  to 
Literary  History. 

Of  the  editor's  own  share  in  this  work  little  need  be  said. 
Many  years  ago,  when  studying  English  History,  he  ob- 
tained access  to  a  valuable  collection  of  books  and  pamphlets 
relating  to  the  reigns  of  Anne  and  the  first  two  Georges, 
belonging  to  a  late  prelate  of  the  Church  of  Ireland. 
Amongst  these  was  a  copy  of  Gulliver's  Travels  with  MS. 
notes,  identifying  some  of  the  characters.  These  were  cop- 
ied by  permission,  and  at  a  subsequent^  period  it  became  a 
source  of  amusement  to  extend  and  verify  them. 

In  compiling  the  life  of  Swift,  the  editor  has  not  disguised 
his  want  of  affection  for  the  character  of  this  hero;  but 
though  unable  to  make  the  biography  a  eulogy,  he  has  en- 
deavored that  it  should  not  become  a  philippic.  There  are 
good  points  in  the  worst  men,  and  bad  in  the  best.  Human 
life  is  the  acted  allegory  of  Beauty  and  the  Beast. 

W.  C.  T. 

London. 


CONTENTS. 


Page 
Preface    3 

Life  of  Swift 13 

The  Publisher   to   the   Reader 51 

A  Letter  from  Captain  Gulliver  to  his  Cousin  Sympson 53 


A  VOYAGE  TO  LILLIPUT. 

CHAPTER   I. 

The  Author  gives  some  Account  of  Himself  and  family— His  first  in- 
ducements to  Travel— He  is  shipwrecked,  and  swims  for  his  Life- 
Gets  safe  on  Shore  in  the  Country  of  Lilliput— Is  made  a  Prisoner, 
and  carried  up  the  Country 57 

CHAPTER  II. 

The  Emperor  of  Lilliput,  attended  by  several  of  the  Nobility,  comes 
to  see  the  Author  in  his  Confinement— The  Emperor's  Person  and 
Habit  described  —  Learned  Men  appointed  to  teach  the  Author 
their  Language  —  He  gains  Favor  by  his  Mild  Disposition  —  His 
Pockets  are  searched,  and  his  Sword  and  Pistols  taken  from 
him    69 

CHAPTER  IIL 

The  Author  diverts  the  Emperor,  and  his  Nobility  of  both  sexes  in  a 
very  uncommon  manner— The  Diversions  of  the  Court  of  Lilliput 
described— The  Author  has  his  liberty  granted  him  upon  certain 
conditions    78 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Milendo,  the  Metropolis  of  Lilliput  described,  together  with  the  Em- 
peror's Palace— A  conversation  between  the  Author  and  a  principal 
Secretary,  concerning  the  affairs  of  that  Empire  —  The  Author 
offers  to  serve  the  Emperor  in  his  wars S7 

CHAPTER  V. 

The  Author  by  an  extraordinary  stratagem,  prevents  an  invasion— A 
high  Title  of  Honor  is  conferred  upon  him— Ambassadors  arrive 
from  the  Emperor  of  Biefuscu,  and  sue  for  Peace— the  Empress's 
Apartments  on  Fire  by  accident,  the  Author  instrumental  in  saving 
the  rest  of  the  Palace 92 


8  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VI. 

Page 

Of  the  Inhabitants  of  Lilliput;  their  Learning,  Laws,  and  Customs; 
the  manner  of  educating  their  children— The  Author's  way  of  liv- 
ing in  that  Country— His  Vindication  of  a  great  Lady 99 

CHAPTER  VIL 

The  Author,  being  informed  of  a  design  to  accuse  him  of  High  Trea- 
son, makes  his  Escape  to  Blefuscu— His  Reception  there 108 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

The  Author,  by  a  lucky  accident  finds  means  to  leave  Blefuscu;  and, 
after  some  difficulties,  returns  safe  to  his  Native  Country 117 

Appendix  to  the  Voyage  to  Lilliput 123 

Ode  to  Quinbus  Flestrin,  by  Titty  Tit,  Esq 130 


A  VOYAGE  TO  BROBDINGNAG. 

CHAPTER  I. 

A  great  Storm  described;  the  Longboat  sent  to  fetch  Water,  the  Au- 
thor goes  with  it  to  discover  the  Country— H©  is  left  on  Shore,  is 
seized  by  one  of  the  Natives,  and  carried  to  a  Farmer's  House— 
His  reception,  with  several  accidents  that  happened  there— A  de- 
scription  of   the  Inhabitants 133 

CHAPTER   11. 

A  description  of  the  Farmer's  Daughter  —  The  Author  carried  to  a 
Market  Town,  and  thence  to  the  Metropolis— The  particulars  of 
his  Journey   145 

CHAPTER  III. 

The  Author  sent  for  to  Court— The  Queen  buys  him  of  his  Master  the 
Farmer,  and  presents  him  to  the  King— He  disputes  with  his  Maj- 
esty's great  Scholars— An  apartment  at  Court  provided  for  the 
Author— He  is  in  high  favor  with  the  Queen— He  stands  up  for  the 
honor  of  his  own  Country  —  His  Quarrels  with  the  Queen's 
Dwarf •* 151 

CHAPTER   IV. 

The  Country  described— A  proposal  for  correcting  modern  Maps— The 
King's  Palace,  and  some  account  of  the  Metropolis— The  Author's 
way  of  Traveling— The  Chief  Temple  described 160 

CHAPTER   V. 

Several  Adventures  that  happened  to  the  Author— The  Execution  of  a 
Criminal— The  Author  shows  his  skill  in  Navigation 165 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

Page 
Several  contrivances  of  the  Author  to  please  the  King-  and  Queen— He 
shows  his  skill  in  Music— The  King-  inquires  into  the  state  of  Eng- 
land,  which  the  Author  relates  to  him— The  King's   Observations 
thereon    174 

CHAPTER    VII. 

The  Author's  love  of  his  Country— He  makes  a  proposal  of  much  ad- 
vantage to  the  King,  which  is  rejected— The  King's  great  ignorance 
in  Politics— The  Learning  of  that  Country  very  imperfect  and  con- 
fined—The Laws  and  Military  Affairs  and  parties  in  the  State..  184 

CHAPTER    VIII. 

The  King  and  Queen  make  a  progress  to  the  Frontiers— The  Author 
attends  them— The  manner  in  which  he  leaves  the  Country  very 
particularly  related— He  returns  to  England 190 

The  Lamentation  of  Glumdalclitch  for  the  Loss  of  Grildrig 201 


A  VOYAGE  TO  LAPUTA,  ETC. 

CHAPTER  I. 

The  Author  sets  out  on  his  Third  Voyage— Is  taken  by  Pirates— The 
malice  of  a  Dutchman — His  arrival  at  an  Island — He  is  received  in 
Laputa 208 

CHAPTER   II. 

The  Humors  and  Disposition  of  the  Laputians  described— An  account 
of  their  Learning— Of  the  King  and  his  Court— The  Author's  recep- 
tion there— The  Inhabitants  subject  to  Fear  and  Disquietude— An 
account  of   the  Women 208 

CHAPTER    III. 

A  Phenomenon  solved  by  modern  Philosophy  and  Astronomy— The 
Laputians'  great  Improvement  irf  the  latter— The  King's  method  of 
suppressing   Insurrections 216 

CHAPTER    IV. 

The  Author  Leaves  Laputa— Is  conveyed  to  Balnibar— Arrives  at  the 
Metropolis— A  description  of  the  Metropolis  and  of  the  Country 
adjoining— The  Author  hospitably  received  by  a  great  Lord— His 
conversation  with  that  Lord 221 

CHAPTER   V. 

The  Author  permitted  to  see  the  Grand  Academy  of  Lagado— The 
Academy  largely  described— The  Arts  wherein  the  Professors 
employ    themselves 227 


10  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VI. 

Pag-e 

A  further  account  of  the  Academy— The  Author  proposes  some  Im- 

proveiments,   which' are  honorably  received 236 

CHAPTER   VII. 

The  Author  Leaves  Lag-ado— Arrives  at  Maldonada^— No  Ship  ready- 
He  takes  a  short  Voyage  to  Glubbdubdrib— His  reception  by  the 
Governor 243 

CHAPTER   VIIL 

A  farther  account  of  Glubbdubdrib— Ancient  and  modern  History  cor- 
retcted i > % 247 

CHAPTER  IX. 

The  Author  returns  to  Maldonada— Sails  to  the  King-dom  of  Luggnagg 
—The  Author  confined— He  is  sent  for  to  Court— The  manner  of  his 
admittance^The  King's  g-reat  Lenity  to  his  subjects 252 

CHAPTER  X. 

The  Luggnaggians  commended— A  particular  Description  of  the  Struld- 
brjigs,  with  many  conversations  between  the  Author  and  some  emi- 
nent Persons  upon  that  subject 256 

CHAPTER   XI. 

The  Author  leaves  Luggnagg,  and  sails  to  Japan— From  thence  he 
returns  in  a  Dutch  ship  to  Amsterdam,  and  from  Amsterdam  to 
Eng-land : 264 


APPENDIX. 

Ballad  on  the  South  Sea  Scheme 255 

A  South  Sea  Ballad 275 

Upon    the    Horrid    Plot    discovered    by    Harlequin,    the    Bishop    of 
Rochester's   French  Dog- 278 


A  VOYAGE  TO  THE  COUNTRY  OF  THE  HOUYHNHNMS. 

CHAPTER    T. 

The  Author  sets  out  as  Captain  of  a  Ship— His  Men  conspire  against 
him,  confine  him  a  long  time  to  his  Cabin,  and  set  him  on  Shore  in 
an  unknown  Land— He  travels  up  into  the  Country— The  Yahoos,  a 
strange  sort  of  Animal,  described— The  Author  meets  two  Houyhn- 
hnms 281 


CONTENTS.  11 


CHAPTER   II. 

Page 

The  Author  conducted  by  a  Houyhnhnm  to  his  House  —  The  House 

described— The  Author's  Reception— The  Food  of  the  Houyhnhnms 

—The  Author  in  distress  for  want  of  Meat— Is  at  last  relieved— His 

manner  of  Feeding  in  this  Country 287 

CHAPTER    III. 

The  Author  studies  to  learn  the  language— The  Houyhnhnm,  his  Mas- 
ter, assists  in  teaching  him — The  Language  described— Several  Hou- 
yhnhnms of  quality  come  out  of  curiosity  to  see  the  Author— He 
gives  his  Master  a  short  Account  of  his  Voyage 293 

CHAPTER    IV. 

The  Houyhnhnm's  notion  of  Truth  and  Falsehood— The  Author's  Dis- 
course disapproved  by  his  Master— The  Author  gives  a  more  par- 
ticular account  of  himself,  and  the  accidents  of  his  Voyage 298 

CHAPTER   V. 

The  Author,  at  his  Master's  command,  informs  him  of  the  State  of 
England— The  causes  of  War  among  the  Princes  of  Europe — The 
Author  begins  to  explain  the  English  Constitution 303 

CHAPTER    VI. 

A  Continuation  of  the  State  of  England  under  Queen  Anne — The  Char- 
acter of  a  first  Minister  of  State  in  European  Courts 309 

CHAPTER    VII. 

The  Author's  great  love  of  his  native  Country — His  Master's  Observa- 
tions upon  the  Constitution  and  Administration  of  England,  as 
described  by  the  Author,  with  parallel  cases  and  comparisons— His 
Master's  Observations  upon   Human   Nature 315 

CHAPTER   VIII. 

The  Author  relates  several  particulars  of  the  Yahoos— The  great  Vir- 
tues of  the  Houyhnhnms — The  Education  and  Exercise  of  their 
Youth— Their  General  Assembly 323 

CHAPTER     IX. 

A  grand  Debate  at  the  General  Assembly  of  the  Houyhnhnms,  and 
how  it  was  terminated — The  Learning  of  the  Houyhnhnms — Their 
Buildings— Their  manner  of  Burials— The  defectiveness  of  their 
Language , 329 

CHAPTER   X. 

The  Author's  Economy  and  happy  Life  among  the  Houyhnhnms— His 
great  improvement  in  Virtue  by  conversing  with  them — Their  Con- 
versations—The Author  has  notice  given  him  by  his  Master,  that  he 
must  depart  from  the  Country— He  falls  into  a  Swoon  for  grief,  but 
submits— He  contrives  and  finishes  a  Canoe  by  the  help  of  a  fellow- 
servant,  and  puts  to  Sea  at  a  venture 334 


12  CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

Page 

The  Author's  dangerous  Voyage— He  arrives  at  New  Holland,  hoping 
to  settle  there — Is  wounded  with  an  Arrow  by  one  of  the  Natives — 
Is  seized  and  carried  by  force  into  a  Portuguese  Ship — The  great 
civilities  of  the  Captain— The  Author  arrives  in  England 341 

CHAPTER    XII. 

The  Author's  Veracity— His  design  in  Publishing  this  Work— His  cen- 
sure of  those  Travelers  who  swerve  from  the  truth — The  Author 
clears  himself  from  any  sinister  ends  in  Writing — An  objection 
answered — The  method  of  planting  Colonies — His  native  Country 
commended — The  right  of  the  Crown  to  those  countries  described 
by  the  Author  is  justified — The  difficulty  of  conquering  them — The 
Author  takes  his  last  leave  of  the  Reader;  proposes  his  manner  of 
living  for  the  future;  gives  good  advice,  and  concludes 348 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 


Lives  of  Swift  are  so  numerous  that  it  may  seem  equally 
superfluous  and  presumptuous  to  add  another  to  their  num- 
ber, especially  as  the  diligence  of  former  biographers  has 
left  few  new  materials  to  be  collected,  and  scarcely  any  new 
conjectures  to  be  hazarded.  There  is,  however,  perhaps, 
no  person  whose  life  is  so  full  of  interest  and  instruction  to 
literary  aspirants,  so  replete  with  encouragement  to  pursue 
a  course  of  honorable  industry,  and  so  rife  with  examples  of 
the  perils  that  attend  every  abandonment  of  principle.  Born 
in  obscurity  and  almost  in  destitution — educated  by  the  pre- 
carious charity  of  relations — sent  from  his  university  with  no 
honor,  and  some  disgrace — employed  as  secretary  by  a 
statesman  possessing  no  patronage,  and  yet  exacting  more 
than  the  ordinary  homage  of  a  patron,  Swift's  early  years  ex- 
hibit nothing  but  the  humiliation  of  genius,  and  the  sick- 
ness of  heart  arising  from  hopes  deferred.  Yet,  by  steady 
exertion  of  talent  he  won  his  way  forward,  and  at  a  remark- 
able crisis  saw  himself  courted  and  honored  by  all  the  leaders 
of  parties,  who  divided  the  power  of  England.  In  the  classic 
reign  of  Anne,  wit  and  nobility  shared  public  influence  be- 
tween them ;  the  pen  of  Addison  was  not  less  valuable  to  his 
party  than  the  sword  of  Marlborough,  and  Bolingbroke  most 
sufificiently  supported  his  cabinet  in  his  study. 

At  the  very  moment  that  the  Whigs  had  "burned  them- 
selves while  trying  to  roast  a  parson,"  and  had  lost  the  con- 
fidence of  Queen  and  people,  Swift,  who  had  hitherto  been 
their  vehement  supporter,  went  over  at  once  to  the  Tories, 
and  assailed  his  old  ahies  with  all  the  rancor  of  a  renegade. 
He  became  politically  powerful,  and  morally  powerless; 
dreaded  by  all,  loved  by  few,  respected  by  none.    His  new 


14  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

patrons  dared  not  pay  the  price  which  he  expected  for  his 
desertion;  they  shelved  him  in  the  deanery  of  St.  Patrick, 
and  ere  long  their  removal  from  power  seemed  to  consign 
him  to  hopeless  obscurity. 

Having  vainly  tried  to  sell  himself  once  more,  Swift  vowed 
vengeance  on  those  who  rejected  his  offer.  A  proposal  for  a 
copper  coinage  gave  him  an  opportunity  of  convulsing  his 
country;  he  roused  the  passions  of  an  excitable  people  by  a 
system  of  audacious  misrepresentation,  and  was  rewarded 
by  an  extent  of  popularity  which  at  that  time  was  unprece- 
dented in  Ireland.  He  had  thus  organized  an  immense 
power,  capable  of  producing  great  results;  he  employed  it 
merely  to  harass  an  obnoxious  ministry  and  to  lacerate  some 
semi-obscure  individuals  who  had  provoked  his  resentment. 
The  power  dwindled  away  from  desuetude;  disappointed 
ambition  nurtured  a  tendency  to  misanthropy  which  the  feel- 
ings of  dependence  in  early  life  had  formed,  the  mind  yielded 
to  the  corrosion  of  the  heart. 

And  Swift  expired,  a  changeling  and  a  show. 

His  private  life  was  no  less  extraordinary.  He  felt  the 
passion  of  love  with  the  same  force  and  keenness  said  to  be 
experienced  by  Eastern  guardians  of  the  harem,  and  like 
them  he  displayed  all  the  acerbity  and  inconsistency  inciden- 
tal to  their  unfortunate  position.  At  one  time  he  spiritual- 
ized his  passion  to  a  more  shadowy  tenuity  than  had  yet  been 
attained  in  the  dreams  of  Platonism;  and  again,  he  passed 
into  the  wildest  excesses  of  the  opposite  extreme,  and  wal- 
lowed in  the  filth  of  the  most  disgusting  obscenity.  Yet,  three 
lovely  and  amiable  v^omen  bestowed  their  affections  upon 
him;  and  two  were  the  victims  of  his  caprices  and  his  selfish- 
ness. Unhappy  himself,  and  the  cause  of  unhappiness  to 
those  he  loved  most  dearly,  private  life  afforded  the  Dean 
no  consolation  for  the  disappointments  of  his  public  career; 
if  at  one  time  he  showed  that  true  genius  cannot  be  crushed 
by  misfortune,  at  another  he  proved  that  fame  can  only  be 
preserved  by  continued  exertion.  His  entire  career  teaches 
that  political  influence  is  only  valuable  when  beneficially  ex- 
tended, and  that  renown  will  never  give  comfort  to  the  soul, 
unless  the  applause  from  without  is  seconded  by  self-ap- 
proval from  within. 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  15 

I. 

Jonathan  Swift  was  descended  from  a  younger  branch  of 
the  Swift  family  in  the  county  of  York.  His  father  was  the 
sixth  or  seventh  son  of  the  Rev.  Thomas  Swift,  vicar  of 
Goderich,  and  was  bred  to  the  profession  of  an  attorney. 
The  extensive  confiscations  in  Ireland  consequent  on  the 
civil  wars  of  1641,  and  subsequently  ratified  by  the  Acts  of 
Settlement  and  Explanation,  had  transferred  a  vast  amount 
of  Irish  property  to  English  companies  and  land-owners, 
who  were  compelled  to  employ  agents  in  the  management 
of  their  new  estates.  These  agencies  were  very  lucrative; 
they  laid  the  foundation  of  the  fortunes  of  many  families, 
such  as  that  of  the  Beresfords,  which  have  since  been  added 
to  the  ranks  of  the  nobility.  Swift,  through  the  interest  of 
some  family  connection  obtained  one  of  these  profitable  em- 
ployments and  removed  to  Dublin;  but  before  he  could 
derive  much  advantage  from  the  employment,  he  died,  leav- 
ing a  pregnant  widow  with  very  slender  provision. 

Jonathan  Swift,  the  child  thus  before  birth  deprived  of  a 
parent's  care,  was  born  in  Dublin,  at  a  small  house  in  Hoey's 
Court,  which  is  still  shown  by  the  residents  in  the  neighbor- 
hood. The  day  of  his  birth  w^as  November,  30th,  1667,  an 
anniversary  which,  to  the  close  of  his  life,  he  observed  as  a 
day  of  fasting  and  sadness,  never  failing  to  read  the  third 
chapter  of  the  book  of  Job  on  each  of  its  successive  returns. 
Richard  Brennan,'''  the  servant  in  whose  arms  he  died,  stated 
that  one  of  the  few  instances  of  a  lucid  interval  during  his 
fatal  malady  was  a  glim.mering  consciousness  of  his  birthday, 
which  he  showed  by  frequently  repeating  w^hen  it  came 
round,  "Let  the  day  perish  wherein  I  was  born,  and  the 
night  in  which  it  was  said  there  is  a  man-child  conceived." 

Mrs.  Swift  was  supported  by  her  brother-in-law,  Godwin 
Swift,  who  undertook  the  education  of  his  nephew;  but 
while  the  boy  was  yet  an  infant,  a  singular  event  removed 
him  for  a  time  from  the  care  of  his  uncle  and  mother.  The 
nurse  who  had  him  in  charge  was  a  native  of  Whitehaven; 
on  the  death  of  a  relation  she  succeeded  to  a  small  legacy, 

*  Richard  Brennan  survived  his  master  many  years;  a  pension  was 
paid  him  by  Mr.  G.  M.  Berkeley,  through  the  hands  of  T.  Kin.^,  Sr., 
commissioner  in  London  for  the  Irish  courts  of  law;  and  to  his  kind- 
ness I  am  indebted  for  this  interesting  anecdote. 


16  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

which  required  her  presence  in  England;  she  was  so  fondly 
attached  to  the  infant  that  she  stole  him  away  from  his  moth- 
er, and  carried  him  across  the  Channel.  His  delicate  health, 
and  the  difficulty  of  procuring  a  passage  in  those  days,  pre- 
vented his  being  sent  back  for  more  than  three  years.  When 
he  returned  to  Dublin,  it  appeared  that  his  nurse  had  taken 
extraordinary  pains  with  his  education,  for  though  barely 
five  years  of  age,  he  could  spell  tolerably,  and  read  a  little 
in  the  Bible. 

At  the  age  of  six  years,  Swift  was  sent  to  the  school  of 
Kilkenny,  a  collegiate  establishment  founded  by  the  Ormond 
family,  and  always  among  the  best  regulated  of  the  endowed 
schools  of  Ireland.  A  desk  on  which  Swift  carved  his  name 
with  a  penknife  is  still  shown  to  visitors  at  Kilkenny. 

In  his  fourteenth  year  Swift  entered  the  University  of 
Dublin;  it  appears  from  the  registers  that  he  entered  as  a 
pensioner  under  St.  George  Ashe,  on  the  24th  of  April,  .1682. 
His  cousin,  Thomas  Swift,  entered  at  the  same  time,  and  the 
two  Swifts  appearing  on  the  registers  without  their  christian 
names,  created  some  confusion,  which,  however,  has  been  in 
a  great  degree  dispelled  by  the  patient  industry  of  the  late 
Dr.  Barrett. 

Swift's  career  as  a  student  was  not  very  creditable  to  him. 
He  showed  an  invariable  repugnance  to  logic,  which  was 
then  the  favored  science,  and  a  thorough  contempt  for  the 
sophisms  of  Smiglecius,  Keckermannus,  and  Burgersdicius; 
grave  authorities  in  their  day,  but  now  scarcely  known  by 
name.  From  his  neglect  of  collegiate  studies  Swift  had  no 
chance  of  obtaining  honors;  he  did  not  even  acquire  the 
limited  information  necessary  to  graduate,  and  only  obtained 
his  degree  of  Bachelor  of  Arts  by  special  favor,  a  term  used 
in  Dublin  to  designate  want  of  merit.  Swift  remained  three 
years  longer  in  the  university,  and  formed  one  of  a  clique 
remarkable  for  their  irregularities  and  breaches  of  collegiate 
discipHne.  Their  disorders  brought  upon  them  the  censure 
of  the  heads  of  the  university,  which  they  retorted  by  lam- 
poons of  more  bitterness  than  wit.  For  one  of  these  breaches 
of  decorum,  Swift  was  severely  admonished,  and  compelled 
to  beg  pardon  of  the  dean,  Dr.  Allen,  on  his  knees;  this 
degradation  was  keenly  felt,  and  more  than  twenty  years 
afterwards  Swift  introduced  a  philippic  agamst  Dr.  Allen 
into  his  attack  on  Lord  Berkeley's  administration  of  the  Irish 


BlOaRAFHiCAL  NOTICE.  11 

government.  Amid  these  follies,  Swift  formed  a  taste  for  the 
peculiar  style  of  satire  in  which  he  subsequently  became  so 
famous.  Before  leaving  college  he  showed  his  first  sketch  of 
the  'Tale  of  a  Tub"  to  Mr.  Waring,  his  chum,  or  chamber- 
fellow,  a  gentleman  with  whose  family  he  at  one  time  de- 
signed to  form  a  more  tender  connection.  He  became  ac- 
quainted with  his  chum's  sister.  Miss  Waring,  and  either 
fancied  or  formed  an  attachment,  which  circumstances  pre- 
vented him  from  disclosing  at  the  time. 

On  the  death  of  his  uncle  Godwin,  Swift  was  left  without 
resources;  but  another  uncle,  Dryden  William  Swift,  came 
to  his  aid,  and  though  he  had  not  much  in  his  power  to  be- 
stow, the  benevolence  of  his  nature  and  the  tenderness  of  his 
manner  enhanced  the  value  of  his  gifts.  The  son  of  this 
kind  uncle,  Willoughby  Swift,  was  a  merchant  in  Lisbon, 
and  generously  contributed  to  the  support  of  his  cousin. 
Many  years  afterwards,  the  Dean  of  St.  Patrick's  used  to 
relate  an  incident  in  his  college  life,  of  which  Willoughby 
was  the  hero,  with  grateful  acknowledgments  of  well-timed 
generosity. 

He  was  sitting  despondingly  in  his  rooms,  contemplating 
the  college  picture  of  misery — a  scanty  library,  a  naked 
board,  and  an  empty  purse — when  his  attention  was  aroused 
by  some  noise  in  the  court ;  he  looked  out  and  saw  a  foreign- 
looking  sailor  apparently  inquiring  his  way  to  the  apartments 
of  some  student,  and  probably  perplexed  by  the  waggeries 
for  which  the  undergraduates  of  Dublin  were  long  famous. 
It  suddenly  came  into  his  head  that  this  might  possibly  be 
the  bearer  of  a  message  from  his  cousin  Willoughby;  no  im- 
probable conjecture,  for  Ireland  had  at  the  time  a  consider- 
able foreign  trade  with  Spain  and  Portugal.  He  immediate- 
ly hastened  down,  and  found  that  he  had  guessed  aright. 
The  stranger  came  with  him  to  his  room,  produced  a  well- 
stocked  purse,  presented  it  as  an  offering  from  his  cousin 
Willoughby,  and  refused  to  receive  any  portion  of  its  con- 
tents as  a  reward. 

Under  the  circumstances  in  which  Swift  was  placed,  a 
small  sum  of  money  usually  leads  to  extravagance,  while  the 
acquisition  of  a  large  sum  generally  leads  to  habits  of  econ- 
omy, if  not  of  parsimony.  Such  was  the  effect  produced  on 
Swift;  he  became  very  prudent  in  money  matters,  and  per- 

2 


18  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

haps  niggardly,  a  character  which  he  maintained  to  the  end 
of  his  Hfe. 

The  year  1688  was  one  of  painful  anxiety  to  Ireland;  the 
fate  of  the  Protestant  Church  and  of  the  forfeited  estates 
hung  in  the  balance.  The  success  of  James  II.  would  have 
given  ascendency  to  the  Latin  Church,  and  the  Irish  lands 
to  the  heirs  of  the  old  proprietors ;  nor  was  it  at  all  clear  that 
William  III.  would  not  have  made  a  compromise  with  the 
Irish  party,  as  he  at  first  offered,  which  would  have  closed 
the  doors  of  preferment  against  English  adventurers  and 
their  descendants.  Swift  saw  the  danger;  he  accordingly 
left  Dublin,  and  came  over  to  England  on  a  visit  to  his  moth- 
er, who  then  resided  in  Leicestershire.  Mrs.  Swift,  whose 
own  means  of  support  were  precarious,  could  do  nothing  for 
her  son,  but  she  recommended  him  to  seek  the  advice  and 
patronage  of  Sir  William  Temple,  who  had  married  one  of 
her  relations.  Temple  was  a  profound  statesman,  an  accom- 
plished scholar,  and  an  experienced  courtier;  he  was  not 
therefore  likely  to  be  prepossessed  in  favor  of  a  raw  Irish 
student,  who  was  hitherto  known  only  for  his  irregularities 
and  his^  deficiency  of  information ;  he  took  Swift  into  his  ser- 
vice, but  for  some  time  showed  him  no  marks  of  confidence 
or  afifection.  The  two  years,  however,  w^hich  the  young  man 
spent  with  Sir  William  Temple  at  Moor  Park,  laid  the  foun- 
dation of  his  future  fortunes ;  he  became  a  diligent  student, 
devoting  eight  hours  every  day  to  an  extensive  course  of 
reading:  but  it  is  probable  that  he  gained  still  more  valuable 
information  from  the  accomplished  diplomatist,  who  had 
taken  an  active  share  in  all  the  important  negotiations  be- 
tween the  Restoration  and  the  Revolution.  Plence  arises 
the  marked  difference  between  Swift's  political  pamphlets 
and  those  published  by  any  other  man  of  letters ;  they  argue 
only  on  what  appears  on  the  public  stage ;  he,  on  the  other 
hand,  manifests  an  intimate  familiarity  with  the  machinery 
behind  the  scenes ;  they  wrote  as  spectators,  he  as  an  actor. 

His  severe  studies  injured  Swift's  health;  a  severe  attack 
of  indigestion  brought  on  fits  of  giddiness  united  to  deafness, 
and  he  continued  subject  to  them  for  the  rest  of  his  life.  He 
was  persuaded  to  try  his  native  air,  but  deriving  no  benefit 
from  a  short  visit  to  Dublin,  he  returned  to  Moor  Park  and 
resumed  his  studies. 

Temple  introduced  Swift  to  King  William,  who  often  came 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  19 

to  visit  the  statesman  in  his  retirement.  The  monarch  was 
attended  by  Swift  when  he  walked  in  the  garden,  but  the  only 
result  from  these  interviews  was  the  offer  of  a  troop  of  horse, 
which  the  future  Dean  refused.  King  William,  however, 
taught  Swift  to  eat  asparagus  in  the  Dutch  way,  that  is,  to 
eat  both  head  and  stalk,  a  lesson  not  thrown  away  upon  a 
person  of  his  thrifty  disposition. 

About  this  time  Swift  took  his  degree  as  Master  of  Arts  at 
Oxford,  and  was  treated  there  with  a  respect  and  attention 
by  which  he  was  highly  gratified.  He  paid  annual  visits  to 
his  mother,  traveling  on  foot,  and  going  at  night  to  a  penny 
lodging,  where  he  purchased  the  luxury  of  clean  sheets  by 
an  extra  gratuity;  he  thus  gratified  his  passion  for  witness- 
ing vulgar  life,  and  at  the  same  time  saved  his  money.  When 
the  bill  for  triennial  parliaments  was  strongly  urged  against 
the  will  of  the  court,  Swift  was  sent  to  convey  Sir  William's 
recommendation  to  the  King  that  the  measure  should  be  ac- 
cepted. He  was  honored  with  an  audience;  but  William  HI., 
who  had  his  full  share  of  Dutch  obstinacy,  disregarded  Tem- 
ple's remonstrances  and  the  arguments  by  which  his  messen- 
ger supported  them;  the  bill,  by  a  strong  exertion  of  minis- 
terial influence,  was  rejected  in  the  House  of  Commons,  and 
Swift,  to  the  last  hour  of  his  life,  used  to  dwell  on  the  disap- 
pointment and  mortification  produced  by  this  failure. 

In  time  he  began  to  grow  weary  of  the  dependent  life  he 
led  at  Moor  Park,  and  solicited  Temple  to  procure  him  some 
public  employment.  His  request  not  being  granted  very 
speedily,  he  resigned  his  situation,  and  returned  to  Ireland, 
resolved  to  enter  the  church,  though  with  no  higher  hopes 
than  the  chaplaincy  of  the  factory  at  Lisbon.  The  bishop  to 
whom  he  applied  for  ordination  required  a  certificate  of  his 
good  conduct  during  his  residence  at  Moor  Park.  It  was 
not  without  great  reluctance  that  he  consented  to  ask  any 
favor  of  his  former  patron ;  when  he  did  w^ite,  however,  his 
letter  opened  the  way  for  a  reconciliation;  Sir  William  not 
only  gave  the  required  certificate,  but  recommended  his  for- 
mer secretary  so  effectually  to  Lord  Capel,  that  Swift  ob- 
tained the  prebend  of  Kilroot,  in  the  diocese  of  Connor,  then 
worth  more  than  a  hundred  a  year,  immediately  after  his  ad- 
mission to  priest's  orders. 

Under  these  circumstances  he  appears  to  have  renewed 
rather  than  commenced  his  flirtation  with  Miss  Waring,  to 


20  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

whom  he  affectedly  gave  the  name  of  Varina.  The  courtship, 
so  far  as  can  be  traced,  is  supremely  ridiculous;  while  the 
lady  was  coy  and  cold  nothing  could  equal  the  impetuosity 
of  the  lover,  but  when,  after  a  long  resistance,  she  unexpect- 
edly surrendered  at  discretion,  the  lover's  ardor  suddenly  dis- 
appeared, the  warm  epistles  to  Varina  were  changed  into  a 
cold,  formal  letter  to  Miss  Jane  Waring,  in  which  all  her  for- 
mer objections  to  the  match  were  studiously  recapitulated, 
and  it  was  hinted  in  terms  which  could  not  be  misunderstood 
that  the  impatient  suitor  would  be  a  very  reluctant  bride- 
groom. The  lady  with  proper  spirit  broke  off  all  intercourse, 
and  Swift  was  free  to  try  his  arts  on  a  more  unfortunate  vic- 
tim. 

He  soon  grew  weary  of  the  stagnation  of  Kilroot,  especial- 
ly as  his  conduct  seems  not  to  have  been  in  accordance  with 
his  sacred  profession,  but  to  have  excited  some  scandal 
among  the  surrounding  gentry.  A  constant  tradition  in  the 
neighborhood  records  that  he  was  charged  with  an  indecent 
assault  on  a  farmer's  daughter,  and  that  criminal  informa- 
tions were  sworn  against  him  before  Mr.  Dobbs,  a  neighbor- 
ing magistrate.  Sir  William  Temple  was  anxious  to  get 
back  a  secretary  whose  ta4ents  he  had  now  begun  to  appre- 
ciate; he  wrote  urgent  letters  soliciting  Swift's  return  to 
Moor  Park,  and  promising  to  make  strenuous  efforts  for  his 
promotion.  Whilst  he  still  hesitated,  he  accidentally  met  a 
brother  clergyman  in  one  of  his  excursions,  with  whose  ap- 
pearance he  was  so  struck  that  he  formed  his  acquaintance. 

He  learned  that  he  was  a  curate  ''passing  rich  with  forty 
pounds  a  year,"  that  he  had  to  support  a  wife  and  eight  chil- 
dren out  of  this  miserable  stipend,  and  that  for  vv'ant  of 
interest  he  had  no  chance  or  expectation  of  promotion.  No 
man  was  occasionally  more  capable  of  noble  acts  of  benevo- 
lence than  Swift;  he  borrowed  a  favorite  black  horse  from 
his  new  friend,  posted  up  to  Dublin,  resigned  his  prebend  to 
the  Lord  Deputy,  and  procured  the  succession  for  the  meri- 
torious curate.  On  Swift's  return  he  sought  the  clergyman 
and  informed  him  that  he  had  been  appointed  to  a  benefice. 
Great  was  the  poor  curate's  pleasure  and  astonishment,  but 
greater  was  his  sorrow  when  he  learned  that  he  had  been 
promoted  at  the  expense  of  his  generous  friend.  At  first 
he  peremptorily  refused  to  accept  the  prebend,  and  when 
his  reluctant  scruples  were  overcome  he  insisted  that  Swift 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  21 

should  accept  his  famous  black  horse  as  a  small  token 
of  his  gratitude.  Mounted  for  the  first  time  on  a  horse  of, 
his  own,  and  with  eighty  pounds  in  his  pocket,  Swift 
departed  from  Kilroot  on  his  road  to  England.  The  mem- 
ory of  his  generosity  to  the  curate  is  still  preserved  round 
Kilroot,  where  the  favorite  black  horse  is  a  popular  sign. 

11. 

When  Swift  resumed  his  post  as  secretary  at  Moor  Park, 
bright  prospects  seemed  to  be  opening  before  him,  but  it  was 
at  this  period  that  he  laid  the  foundation  of  all  his  future 
misery,  for  during  his  second  residence  with  Sir  William 
Temple  he  became  acquainted  with  Miss  Esther  Johnson, 
better  known  under  the  poetic  name  of  Stella.  The  best 
account  of  that  unfortunate  lady  is  contained  in  a  letter 
addressed  by  her  niece,  Mrs.  Hearn,  to  Mr.  G.  M.  Berkeley, 
which  that  gentleman  published  in  his  very  scarce  and  enter- 
taining volume  of  Literary  Relics.* 

''Mrs.  Esther  Johnson,  better  known  by  the  name  of  Stella, 
was  born  at  Richmond,  in  Surrey,  on  the  13th  of  March, 
1681.  Her  father  was  a  merchant,  and  the  younger  brother 
of  a  good  family  in  Nottinghamshire.  He  died  young,  and 
left  his  widow  with  three  children,  a  son  and  two  daugh- 
ters. Whilst  Mrs.  Johnson  lived  at  Richmond,  she  had  the 
happiness  of  becoming  first  acquainted  with  Lady  Gififord, 
the  sister  of  Sir  William  Temple.  The  uncommon  endow- 
m.ents  both  of  body  and  mind  which  Mrs.  Johnson  certainly 
possessed  in  a  high  degree,  soon  gained  her  not  only  the 
esteem,  but  the  warm  friendship  of  that  excellent  lady,  a 
friendship  which  lasted  till  death.  As  they  seldom  were 
apart  and  Lady  Gif¥ord  lived  much  with  her  brother  Sir 
William,  it  w^as  through  her  that  Mrs.  Johnson  and  her  two 
daughters  (her  son  dying  young)  were  brought  to  the 
knowledge  and  friendship  of  Sir  William  Temple  and  his 
lady;  who  discovering  so  many  excellences  and  such  fine 
parts  in  the  little  Hetty,  as  she  was  ahvays  called  in  the 
Temple  family,  so  far  took  upon  themselves  the  care  of  her 
education  as  to  bring  her  up  with  their  own  niece,  the  late 
Mrs.  Temple,  of  Moor  Park,  by  Farnham;  a  most  accept- 

*  For  the  use  of  this  volume  the  editor  is  indebted  to  T.  King,  Sr., 
Esq.,  Commissioner  in  London  for  the  Irish  Courts  of  Law. 


22  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

able  piece  of  kindness  and  friendship  this  to  the  mother, 
whose  Httle  portion  had  been  greatly  injured  by  the  South 
Sea  bubbles.  And  here  it  was  that  Dean  Swift  first  became 
acquainted  with  Stella,  and  commenced  that  attachment 
which  terminated  in  their  marriage.  The  cause  why  that 
marriage  was  not  owned  to  the  world  has  never  been  thor- 
oughly explained.  It  is  the  opinion,  however,  of  her  own 
family,  that  their  finances  not  being  equal  to  the  style  in 
which  the  Dean  wished  to  move  as  a  married  man,  could  be 
the  only  one;  Stella's  own  fortune  being  only  £1,500;  £1,000 
of  which,  as  a  farther  mark  of  friendship,  was  left  by  Sir 
William  Temple  himself.  It  was  Dean  Swift's  wish  at  last 
to  have  owned  his  marriage;  but  finding  herself  declining 
very  fast,  Stella  did  not  choose  to  alter  her  mode  of  life, 
and  besides,  fully  intended  coming  over  to  England  to  her 
mother." 

It  has  been  said  by  those  who  have  attempted  Swift's 
vindication,  that  he  only  intended  an  innocent  flirtation 
when  he  first  made  Stella's  acquaintance,  and  they  assign  as 
a  proof  that  he  still  continued  to  press  Varina  to  consent 
to  a  marriage.  This  will,  to  most,  appear  an  aggravation 
of  his  offense:  no  man  has  a  right  for  his  amusement  to 
trifle  with  the  affections  of  a  young  and  innocent  female,  to 
win  a  heart  for  the  express  purpose  of  breaking  it,  to  stake 
his  fictions  against  her  realities,  and  when  he  had  won  by 
the  counterfeit,  triumph  in  the  cheat  and  trample  on  the 
loser. 

During  the  four  years  of  Swift's  second  residence  at  Moor 
Park,  he  began  to  appear  before  the  world  as  a  poet,  by  pub- 
Hshing  a  Pindaric  Ode  to  Temple,  to  King  William,  and  to 
the  Athenian  Society,  "a.  knot  of  obscure  men,"  says  Dr. 
Johnson,  'Svho  published  a  periodical  pamphlet  of  answers 
to  the  questions  sent,  or  supposed  to  be  sent,  by  letters." 
These  verses  are  of  very  inferior  merit:  it  is  said  that  when 
Dryden  perused  them,  he  declared  to  the  mortified  author, 
"Cousin  Swift,  you  will  never  be  a  poet,"  and  to  this  denun- 
ciation the  perpetual  malevolence  which  Swift  manifested 
towards  Dryden  is  generally  attributed.  It  was  probably 
during  this  period  also  that  he  wrote  the  'Tale  of  a  Tub," 
and  the  "Battle  of  the  Books,"  but  they  were  not  published 
until  several  years  after. 

In  1699  Sir  William  Temple  died,  bequeathing  Swift  a 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  23 

considerable  sum  of  money,  and  also  his  manuscripts,  which 
he  probably  deemed  still  more  valuable.  Before  his  death 
Temple  obtained  from  King  William  a  promise  of  the  first 
prebend  that  should  become  vacant  in  Canterbury  or  West- 
minster for  his  secretary;  that  this  promise  might  not  be 
forgotten.  Swift  dedicated  to  the  King  the  posthumous 
works  with  which  he  had  been  intrusted;  but  neither  the 
dedication  nor  Swift's  reiterated  applications  could  induce 
the  monarch  to  perform  his  promise.  Some  time  afterwards 
Swift  went  over  to  Ireland  with  Lord  Berkeley  as  his  private 
secretary;  but  soon  after  they  reached  Dublin  a  person 
named  Bush  persuaded  the  Lord  Justice  that  such  a  situa- 
tion was  unsuited  to  a  clergyman,  and  obtained  the  office 
for  himself.  Nor  was  this  his  only  mortification;  the  rich 
deanery  of  Derry  became  vacant,  which  Swift  expected  to 
obtain,  but  through  the  influence  of  the  secretary  it  was 
bestowed  on  somebody  else,  and  Swift  was  dismissed  with 
the  livings  of  Laracor  and  Rathbeggin,  in  the  county  of 
Meath. 

At  Laracor  he  increased  the  parochial  duties  by  reading 
prayers  on  Wednesday  and  Friday;  as  this  was  a  novelty, 
few  of  the  parishioners  at  first  attended,  and  on  one  occa- 
sion, Roger  the  clerk  formed  the  entire  congregation.  Swift, 
with  unmoved  gravity,  began,  "Dearly  beloved  Roger,  the 
Scripture  moveth  you  and  me  in  sundry  places,"  etc.;  and 
so  went  through  the  entire  service.  Notwithstanding  this 
and  some  other  instances  of  irreverence,  which  need  not 
be  recorded,  he  generally  performed  all  the  of^ces  of  his 
profession  with  great  decency  and  exactness. 

Soon  after  his  settlement  at  Laracor^  he  invited  the  unfor- 
tunate Stella  to  Ireland,  together  with  a  Mrs.  Dingley, 
whose  presence  it  was  hoped  would  prevent  scandal.  With 
these  ladies  he  passed  his  hours  of  relaxation,  and  to  them 
he  opened  his  bosom;  but  they  never  resided  in  the  same 
house,  nor  did  he  ever  see  them  without  a  witness.  They 
lived  at  the  parsonage  when  Swift  was  away,  and  when  he 
returned  removed  to  a  lodging,  or  to  the  house  of  a  neigh- 
boring clergyman.  Such  a  mode  of  Hfe  was  necessarily 
painful  to  the  lady,  nor  can  there  be  any  plausible  defense 
made  for  withholding  from  her  the  name  and  station  of  a 
Vvdfe.  Palliations  of  his  conduct  have  been  attempted  by 
most  of  his  biographers,  but  the  circumstances  on  which 


24  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

they  rely  must  to  every  person  of  proper  feeling  appear 
aggravations  of  his  offense. 

Swift's  first  prose  work  was  an  Essay  on  the  Dissensions 
in  Athens  and  Rome,  published  in  1701,  when  the  author 
had  attained  his  thirty-fourth  year.  C3n  its  first  appearance 
it  was  generally  attributed  to  Bishop  Burnet,  a  circumstance 
which  by  no  means  flattered  the  pride  of  the  author.  Three 
years  afterwards  was  published  the  'Tale  of  a  Tub,"  a  work 
which  he  never  directly  owned,  nor  never  distinctly  denied. 
"Charity,"  says  Dr.  Johnson,  ''may  be  persuaded  to  think 
that  such  a  work  might  be  written  by  a  man  of  peculiar  char- 
acter, without  ill  attention,  but  it  is  of  a  dangerous  example." 
Although  superstition  and  fanaticism  are  always  open  to 
ridicule,  and  indeed  can  scarcely  be  attacked  by  any  other 
weapon,  because  they  defy  argument  and  are  unassailable 
by  learning,  yet  there  are  certain  limits,  beyond  which  the 
use  of  such  a  weapon  is  criminal.  "The  Tale  of  a  Tub"  in 
many  passages  outrages  common  decency,  and  in  the  Essay 
on  the  Operations  of  the  Spirit  the  author  has  indulged 
in  impious  blasphemy  against  articles  of  faith  recognized 
in  every  Christian  church.  vSome  have  claimed  pardon  for 
the  book,  because  the  Established  Church,  considered  as  an 
institution,  is  everywhere  mentioned  with  reverence;  but 
the  creed  of  a  church  is  not  less  important  than  its  establish- 
ment, and  Swift's  ridicule  was  not  unfrequently,  though 
unconsciouslv  directed  ag:ainst  doctrines  which  the  Anglican 
formularies  have  placed  among  the  essentials  of  Christianity. 
The  digressions  relating  to  Wotton  and  Bentley  display  an 
equal  want  of  knowledge  and  integrity;  Swift  did  not  under- 
stand the  controversies,  and  he  misrepresented  them  at  ran- 
dom. Posterity  has  long  ago  decided  between  wit  and  truth. 
Bentley  has  received  his  due  honoWrom  scholars,  and  his 
opponents  are  forgotten.  The  Battle  of  the  Books  is  said 
by  Dr.  Johnson  to  be  an  imitation  of  the  French  Combat 
des  Livres:  there  is  no  use  in  discussing  the  question  of 
originality,  for  both  the  French  and  English  works  have 
been  long  since  consigned  to  unhonored  oblivion. 

In  the  year  1708  he  published  the  "Sentiments  of  a  Church 
of  England  Man,"  a  "Ridicule  of  Astrology,"  an  "Argument 
Against  Abolishing  Christianity,"  and  a  "Defense  of  the 
Sacrimental  Test."  The  "Argument  Against^ Abolishing 
Christianity"  is  far  the  best  of  these  works;  it  Is  written  in 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  25 

a  vein  of  happy  irony,  and  exposes  with  just  severity  the 
miserable  vanity  of  those  infidels  who  hope  to  acquire  fame 
by  an  affectation  of  singularity,  and  whose  notions  of  glory 
are  not  unlike  those  of  the  incendiary  of  the  temple  of 
Ephesus.  In  the  year  following,  he  published  a  "Project 
for  the  Advancement  of  Religion,"  which,  like  most  such 
projects,  is  quite  impracticable. 

At  this  time  Swift  was  a  zealous  Whig,  and  wrote  several 
pamphlets  and  poetical  squibs  to  support  his  party;  few  of 
these  can  now  be  traced,  for  the  author  was  subsequently 
very  anxious  to  efface  all  recollection  of  them.  One  of  them, 
''Merlin's  Prophecy,"  designed  to  flatter  the  Duke  of  Marl- 
borough, and  encourage  the  English  people  to  persevere  in 
the  war  against  France,  possesses  more  merit  than  is  usual 
in  such  productions,  and  it  presents,  moreover,  a  curious 
contrast  to  the  opinions  maintained  in  Swift's  subsequent 
writings. 

MERLIN'S  PROPHECY.    1709. 

Seven  and   ten  added  to  nine, 
Of  France  her  woe  this  is  the  sygne; 
Tamys  rivere  troys  y-frozen;* 
Waike  sans  wetyng  shoes  ne  hozen. 
Then  comyth  foonhe  ich  understonde 
From  towne  of  Stoffe  to  fattyn  londe.  1 
An  hardie  chieftain,  woe  the  morne, 
To  France  that  evere  he  was  born. 
Then  shall  the  fyshe  bewayle  his  bosse;  t 
Nor  shall  grim  berrys  §  make  up  the  losse. 
Young   Symnelle   ||  shall  again  miscarry e, 
And  Norways  pryd  ttt  again  shall  marrey; 
And  from  the  tree  where  blossoms  feele 
Ripe  fruit  shall  come  and  all  is  wele. 
Realms  shall  daunce  honde  in  honde,  ** 
And  it  shall  be  merry  in  old  Inglonde; 
Then  old  Inglonde  shall  be  no  more, 
And  no  man  shall  be  soyrie  therefore. 
Geryon  tt  shall  have  three  hedes  agayne, 
Till  Hapsburge  tt  makyth  them  but  twayne. 

*  "Dec.  25th,  1709,  a  severe  frost  set  in;  it  lasted  with  little  inter- 
mission three  months.  The  Thames  was  frozen  over;  booths  were 
built  upon  it,  and  there  were  all  manners  of  diversion  upon  the  ice." 
—Wade's  British  History. 

t  Marlborough.  $  The  Dauphin  of  France. 

§  The  Duke  de  Berry.  ||  The  Pretender. 

ttt  Queen  Anne;   her  husband  had  been  Prince  of  Denmark. 

**  The  Union  of  Scotland  and  England. 

tt  A  fabulous  king  of  Spain  said  to  have  been  slain  by  Hercules. 
The  three  heads  are  the  king  of  Portugal  and  the  two  claimants  of 
the  Spanish  crown.    Philip  of  France  and  Charles  of  Austria, 

tt  The  Arehduke  Charles  was  of  the  Hapsburgh  family. 


26  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

When  Lord  Wharton  became  Lord-heutenant  of  Ireland 
Swift  appHed  through  Lord  Somers,  to  whom  he  then  paid 
assiduous  court,  for  a  recommendation  to  his  Excellency. 
The  result  is  related  in  the  following  letter,  and  addressed 
by  Dr.  Salter,  master  of  the  Charter-house,  to  the  eminent 
antiquarian,  Mr.  Nichols: 

"Lord  Somers  recommended  Swift  at  his  own  very  ear- 
nest request  to  Lord  Wharton,  when  that  Earl  went  lieu- 
tenant to  Ireland  in  1708,  but  without  success;  and  the 
answer  Wharton  is  said  to  have  given  was  never  forgotten 
nor  forgiven  by  Swift,  but  seems  to  have  laid  the  founda- 
tion of  that  peculiar  rancor  with  which  he  always  mentions 
Lord  Wharton.  I  saw  and  read  two  letters  of  Jonathan 
Swift,  then  premendary  of  St.  Patrick's  Dublin,  to  Lord 
Somers:  the  first,  earnestly  entreating  his  favor,  pleading 
his  poverty,  and  professing  the  most  unalterable  attachment 
to  his  lordship's  person  and  cause.  The  second,  acknowl- 
edging Lord  Somer's  kindness  in  having  recommended  him; 
and  concluding  with  the  like  professions  not  more  than  a 
year  before  Swift  deserted  Lord  Somers,  and  all  his  friends, 
writing  avowedly  on  the  contrary  side;  and  (as  he  boasts 
himself)  libelling  all  the  junto  round.  I  saw  also  the  very 
letters  which  Lord  Somers  wrote  to  Lord  Wharton,  in  which 
Swift  is  very  heartily  and  warmly  recommended ;  and  I  well 
remember  the  short  and  very  smart  answer  which  Lord 
Wharton  is  said  to  have  given,  which,  as  I  have  observed. 
Swift  never  forgave  nor  forgot.  It  was  to  this  purpose,  'Oh! 
my  lord,  we  must  not  prefer  or  countenance  these  fellows ; 
we  have  not  character  enough  ourselves.'" 

Soon  after  this  disappointment  the  busy  and  important 
part  of  Swift's  life  began.  In  1710  he  was  employed  by  the 
Primate  of  Ireland  to  soHcit  the  Queen  for  a  remission  of  the 
first-fruits  to  the  Irish  clergy.  For  this  purpose,  he  had 
recourse  to  Harley,  then  fast  rising  into  favor,  and  was 
introduced  to  him  as  a  person  injuriously  neglected  by  the 
late  Whig  cabinet,  for  refusing  to  co-operate  in  some  of 
their  schemes.  Harley's  designs  and  situation  were  such  as 
to  make  him  glad  of  an  auxiliary  so  well  qualified  for  his 
service;  he  therefore  admitted  him  to  familiarity,  if  not  to 
friendship,  and  engaged  him  to  employ  his  pen  in  defense  of 
the  new  administration.  Addison  and  Steele  were  the  prin- 
cipal writers  on  the  side  of  the  Whigs,  and  Swift  had  long 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  27 

been  the  intimate  friend  of  both;  but  no  sooner  had  he 
taken  a  share  in  poHtical  controversy  than  he  assailed  both, 
but  more  especially  Steele,  with  a  violence  quite  unbecom- 
nig  the  character  of  a  clergyman  or  a  gentleman.  For  two 
years  he  supported  Harley  with  equal  zeal  and  efficiency; 
his  pamphlet  on  the  Conduct  of  the  Allies,  published  in  1712, 
ten  days  before  the  meeting  of  Parliament,  was  one  of  the 
most  successful  party  productions  that  ever  appeared ;  eleven 
thousand  copies  of  it  were  sold  in  less  than  three  months; 
and  it  rendered  the  war,  which  had  been  hitherto  one  of  the 
most  popular  in  which  England  had  ever  engaged,  so  uni- 
versally odious,  that  the  people  clamored  for  peace,  almost 
on  any  terms.  Such  services  merited  a  high  reward,  and 
Swift  was  not  a  man  to  work  without  payment.  He  de- 
manded an  English  bishopric,  which  Harley  was  not  unwill- 
ing to  grant,  provided  it  could  be  bestowed  without  offend- 
ing his  clerical  supporters.  But  the  clergy  could  not  endure 
the  promotion  to  the  Episcopal  bench  of  the  author  of  the 
"Tale  of  a  Tub."  Archbishop  Sharpe,  in  the  name  of  his 
brethren,  demanded  an  audience  of  the  Queen,  and  be- 
sought her  Majesty  not  to  bestow  episcopal  dignity  on  a 
person  whose  belief  in  Christianity  was  suspicious,  at  the 
same  time  directing  her  attention  to  the  most  offensive 
passages  in  the  "Tale  of  the  Tub;"  he  was  seconded  by  the 
Duchess  of  Somerset,  whom  Swift  had  bitterly  lampooned 
in  some  verses,  called  the  "Windsor  Prophecy,"  which  she 
showed  the  Queen.  Anne,  who,  on  religious  matters  at 
least,  was  a  right-minded  woman,  declared  that  Swift  should 
never  be  a  prelate,  and  no  subsequent  remonstrances  would 
induce  her  to  alter  this  determination.  The  ministers  gave 
him  the  best  preferment  they  dared  to  bestow,  the  deanery 
of  St.  Patrick's,  Dublin,  and  early  in  17 13  he  went  over  to 
take  possession.  His  appointment,  however,  was  not  less 
unpopular  in  the  Irish  than  it  would  have  been  in  the 
English  church;  and  on  the  day  appointed  for  his  installa- 
tion the  following  verses  (written  by  Dr.  Smedley,  dean  of 
Ferns'!  were  found  posted  on  the  gates  of  the  cathedral : 


To-day  this  temple  gets  a  Dean, 
Of  parts  and  fame  uncommon; 

Used  both  to  pray  and  to  nrofane, 
To  serve  both  Cod  and  mammon. 


28  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

When  Wharton  reign'd  a  Whig  he  was; 

When  Pembroke,  that's  dispute,  sir; 
In  Oxford's  time  what  Oxford  pleased, 

Non-con,  or  Jack  or  Neuter 

This  place  he  got  by  wit  and  rhyme, 

And  many  ways  most  odd; 
And  might  a  bishop  be  in  time. 

Did  he  believe  in  God. 

For  high-churchmen  and  policy 

He  swears  he  prays  most  hearty; 
But  would  pray  back  again,  would  be 

A  Dean  of  any  party. 

Four  lessons,  Dean!  all  in  one  day. 

Faith!    it  is  hard,  that's  certain; 
'  Twere  better  hear  thy  own  Peter  say 

God  damn  you  Jack,  and  Martin. 

Hard  to  be  plagued  with  Bible  still, 

And  Prayer-book  before  thee, 
Hadst  thou  not  wit  to  think  at  will 

Of  some  diverting  story. 

Look  down,  St.  Patrick!    look  we  pray 

On  thine  own  church  and  steeple! 
Convert  thy  Dean  on  this  great  day, 

Or  else,  God  help  the  people! 

And  now  when'er  his  Deanship  dies 

Upon  his  tomb  be  graven,— 
A  man  of  God  here  buried  lies. 

Who  never  thought  of  heaven.  v 

Having  placed  Stella  in  lodgings  near  the  deanery,  Swift 
returned  to  England,  where  the  disputes  between  Harley, 
recently  created  Earl  of  Oxford,  and  his  colleague,  Lord 
Bolingbroke,  threatened  the  ruin  of  the  Tory  party.  Harley 
had  only  become  a  Tory  for  convenience;  when  he  obtained 
power  he  had  formed  no  definite  plan  of  policy.  Obliged  to 
court  the  party  by  which  he  was  supported,  he  was  unwilling 
to  make  his  quarrel  with  the  Whigs  utterly  irrecoverable ;  he 
therefore  corresponded  with  both  expectants  of  the  crown, 
and  paid  secret  court  both  to  the  Pretender  and  Elector  of 
Hanover.  The  Dean  was  dissatisfied  with  these  half-meas- 
ures; he  endeavored  vainly  to  stimulate  the  tardiness  of 
Harley;  he  published  a  letter  to  the  October  Club,  which 
was  composed  of  the  most  violent  Tories,  and  when  he 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  29 

found  that  Harley  was  not  to  be  stimulated  to  a  more  daring 
course,  he  connected  himself  with  Bolingbroke,  who  was 
both  more  courageous  and  unscrupulous  than  his  colleague. 
The  Whig  leaders  seem  to  have  been  aware  of  the  danger- 
ous tendency  of  Swift's  counsels.  Complaints  were  made  of 
his  influence  with  the  ministry  by  Finch,  Earl  of  Notting- 
ham, m  the  lords,  and  by  Walpole  and  Aislabie  in  the  com- 
mons; they  charged  him  directly  with  plotting  to  bring  in 
the  Pretender.  It  is  remarkable  that  Swift  in  a  poem  upon 
himself,  written  at  the  close  of  the  year  171 3,  records  these 
imputations  without  attempting  to  deny  them. 

"Now  Finch  alarms  the  lords;  he  hears  for  certain 
This  dangerous  priest  has  got  behind  the  curtain. 
Finch,  famed  for  tedious  elocution,  proves 
That  Swift  oils  many  a  spring  which  Harley  moves. 
Walpole  and  Aislabie,  to  clear  the  doubt, 
Inform  the  commons  that  the  secret's  out; 
'  A  certain  doctor  is  observed  of  late 
To  haunt  a  certain  minister  of  state; 
From  whence  with  half  an  eye  we  may  discover. 
The  peace  is  made,  and  Perkin  must  come  over.'  " 

In  1714  Swift  published  the  "Public  Spirit  of  the  Whigs" 
in  reply  to  the  ''Crisis,"  a  pamphlet  for  which  Steele  was 
expelled  from  the  House  of  Commons.  The  Dean  assailed 
his  former  friend  with  great  bitterness,  treating  him  some- 
limes  with  contempt  and  sometimes  with  abhorrence.  He 
also  assailed  the  entire  Scottish  nation  with  such  vehemence 
that  the  Scotch  lords  went  in  a  body  to  the  Queen  to  demand 
reparation,  and  a  proclamation  was  issued,  offering  a  reward 
of  three  hundred  pounds  for  the  discovery  of  the  author. 
The  result,  however,  was  in  a  short  time  either  forgiven  or 
forgotten,  and  Swift  boasted  that  he  was  visited  by  the 
Scotch  lords  more  than  ever. 

Admitted  on  terms  of  equality  to  the  intimacy  of  the  noble 
and  the  powerful,  courted  by  all  aspirants  to  the  of^ce,  enjoy- 
ing the  society  of  the  classic  wits,  who  gained  for  Anne's 
reign  the  name  of  the  Augustan  age  of  English  literature. 
Swift's  malignant  star  was  still  lord  of  the  ascendant.  Dur- 
ing one  of  his  long  ministerial  attendances  in  London  he 
became  acquainted  with  Miss  Vanhomrigh,  to  whom  he 
gave  the  affected  name  of  Vanessa,  a  lady  possessing  wit, 
beauty,  a  competent  share  of  wealth,  and  universal  admira- 


30  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

tion.  Fascinated  by  the  genius  of  Swift,  she  encouraged  his 
indiscreet  advances  until  both  became  so  far  involved  that 
they  could  neither  go  forward  nor  recede  without  a  heavy 
sacrifice.  During  his  absence  from  Dublin  he  regularly  sent 
a  journal  of  his  proceedings  to  Stella  and  Mrs.  Dingley;  a 
change  in  the  style  of  these  communications  is  very  obvi- 
ous after  he  had  become  intimate  with  Vanessa;  the  tone 
is  more  cold,  the  language  more  querulous,  and  there  are 
occasional  bursts,  which  clearly  show  a  heart  ill  at  ease. 
For  a  time,  however,  the  increasing  excitement  of  politics 
diverted  his  attention  from  private  affairs;  the  increasing 
jealousy  and  hatred  between  Oxford  and  Bolingbroke 
threatened  the  utter  ruin  of  the  Tory  party,  and  Swift  vainly 
used  every  effort  to  bring  about  a  reconciliation.  He  twice 
tried  the  effect  of  a  personal  interview,  from  which  both 
departed  with  nmtual  dissatisfaction.  Swift  declared  to 
them  that  all  was  lost;  Oxford  denied  his  accuracy,  but 
BoHngbroke  whispered  that  he  was  right. 

The  Queen's  closet  became  now  the  center  of  agitating 
intrigues,  which  Anne  had  not  strength  either  of  mind  or 
body  to  endure.  She  had  a  natural  leaning  to  her  brother, 
the  Pretender,  and  had  that  prince  gratified  her  by  conform- 
ing to  the  Protestant  religion,  the  Stuarts  would,  in  all  prob- 
ability have  retained  the  throne  of  England;  she  disliked 
the  Hanoverian  family  because  the  Elector  had  endeavored 
to  thwart  her  projects  of  peace,  and  because  the  Princess 
Sophia,  through  whom  the  succession  was  continued  to  the 
House  of  Brunswick,  had  indulged  in  injurious  reflections 
on  her  sincerity.  Harley  dreaded  the  Stuarts,  and  probably 
believed  that  he  had  succeeded  in  making  an  interest  with 
the  Protestant  successor,  but  he  gave  still  deeper  offense  to 
the  Queen  by  quarreling  with  the  favorite,  Lady  Masham. 
Bolingbroke  adopted  all  the  prejudices  of  his  royal  mistress 
and  paid  the  most  assiduous  attention  to  her  favorite.  Bit- 
ter altercations  took  place  in  the  royal  presence;  Anne's 
health  visibly  declined;  their  dissentions  and  her  disease 
increased  together.  At  length,  on  the  27th  of  July,  1714, 
Oxford  was  suddenly  dismissed  from  office  and  Bolingbroke 
seemed  to  have  the  great  objects  of  his  ambition  within  his 
grasp;  but  on  the  29th  of  the  same  month  the  Queen  was 
seized  with  a  lethargic  disorder,  attended  by  the  most  alarm- 
ing symptoms.     Swift  is  said  to  have  advised  Bolingbroke 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  31 

and  his  colleagues  to  take  immediate  steps  for  securing  the 
succession  of  the  Pretender,  but  they  hesitated  on  adopt- 
ing a  course  that  would  peril  their  lives  and  fortunes.  At 
the  council  on  the  following  day  timidity  and  indecision 
prevailed ;  suddenly  the  two  most  powerful  Whig  lords,  the 
Dukes  of  Argyle  and  Somerset,  entered,  though  they  had 
not  been  summoned,  and  were  invited  to  take  their  seats 
at  the  board  by  the  Duke  of  Shrewsbury.  Their  proposals 
for  securing  the  Hanoverian  succession  were  adopted  with- 
out opposition,  and  Bolingbroke  saw  that  his  visions  of 
power  were  dissipated  almost  as  soon  as  they  had  been 
formed.  On  the  ist  of  August  the  Queen  died,  and  George 
I.  was  solemnly  proclaimed  in  London  and  Westminster. 

On  the  accession  of  George  I.  the  Whigs  returned  to 
power,  and  immediately  began  to  assail  the  former  ministers 
with  prosecutions  and  impeachments.  Bolingbroke  and 
Ormond  fled  to  the  continent;  the  Earl  of  Oxford  was  sent 
to  the  Tower;  Swift  returned  to  Dublin,  which  he  regarded 
a  place  of  exile,  and  where  he  was  exposed  to  some  danger 
by  the  seizure  of  treasonable  papers  which  were  found  di- 
rected to  him. 

The  Church  of  Ireland  then,  as  now,  was  divided  between 
two  parties,  which  may,  perhaps,  without  offense,  be  distin- 
guished as  the  Puritanical  and  the  Orthodox,  whose  only 
bond  of  union  was  their  com.mon  hatred  of  Popery.  From 
the  very  beginning  the  leaders  of  the  Reformed  Church  in 
Ireland  had  shown  a  strong  leaning  towards  the  principles 
adopted  by  the  English  non-conformists,  and  this  tendency 
was  much  increased  among  the  native  clergy  by  the  Crom- 
wellian  settlement,  which  introduced  a  large  body  of  Inde- 
pendents into  Ireland,  and  diffused  an  impatience  of  Epis- 
copal control  through  the  great  majority  of  the  Protestant 
body.  As  in  Anne's  reign  the  Whigs  and  Tories  had  held 
power  alternately,  so  the  ecclesiastical  dignities  in  Ireland 
v/ere  divided  between  the  high  and  low  church,  the  former 
possessing  most  influence  with  the  clerical  body,  the  latter 
with  the  congregations.  A  whimsical  incident  exasperated 
the  mutual  jealousy  of  the  Protestant  parties,  "the  pious, 
glorious  and  immortal  memory  of  King  William"  was  fre- 
quently given,  as  a  toast  in  mixed  companies,  and,  of  course, 
was  offensive  to  those  Tories  who  entertained  Jacobite 
principles.     Browne,  Bishop  of  Cork,  published  a  sermon 


S2  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

against  toasts  generally  and  this  toast  in  particular,  which 
gave  great  offense  to  the  majority  of  the  Protestant  com- 
munity; they  added  the  bishop's  name  to  their  favorite  toast, 
with  no  very  complimentary  addition,  and  applied  it  as  a 
test  of  Jacobitism  whenever  the  clergyman  was  present. 

Swift  came  over  from  England  a  strenuous  advocate  for 
the  extreme  principles  of  high  church,  which  had  been  so 
long  the  watch-word  of  his  party,  and  a  resolute  supporter 
of  the  clerical  privileges  which  the  Whigs  were  accused  of 
menacing.  His  assertion  of  his  own  rights  as  Dean  soon 
involved  him  in  harassing  and  vexatious  disputes  with  Arch- 
bishop King  and  the  Chapter;  but  in  the  end  Swift  tri- 
umphed, and  he  subsequently  acquired  such  an  ascendancy 
over  the  Chapter  that  no  resistance  was  made  to  any  of  his 
propositions. 

Believing  that  Ireland  was  destined  to  be  his  residence 
during  the  remainder  of  his  days.  Swiff  arranged  a  mode  of 
living  equally  consistent  with  his  notions  of  parsimony  and 
dignity.  For  the  most  part  he  dined,  at  a  stipulated  price, 
with  Mr.  Worral,  a  clergyman  of  his  cathedral,  whose  house 
was  recommended  by  the  peculiar  neatness  and  pleasantry 
of  his  wife.  On  two  days  in  the  week  he  opened  his  house 
to  the  public,  and  dined  off  plate  with  great  pomp;  his  enter- 
tainments were  soon  frequented  by  the  most  eminent  men 
and  most  elegant  ladies  in  Dublin.  Stella  regulated  the  table 
on  public  days,  but  appeared  at  it  as  a  mere  guest,  like  the 
other  ladies. 

Miss  Vanhomrigh's  arrival  in  Ireland  and  assertion  of  her 
claims  soon  disturbed  the  happiness  of  the  circle.  Stella's 
anxiety  affected  her  spirits  and  materially  injured  her  health; 
in  a  few  weeks  she  was  brought  to  the  verge  of  the  grave. 
Swift,  shocked  at  the  effects  which  his  conduct  seemed  likely 
to  produce,  applied  to  his  old  friend  and  tutor,  St.  George 
Ashe,  Bishop  of  Clogher,  requesting  him  to  enquire  from 
Stella  Vv^hat  would  restore  her  peace  of  mind.  Her  answer, 
as  reported  by  the  Bishop,  was  to  this  effect,  "That  for  many 
years  she  had  patiently  borne  the  tongue  of  slander,  but  that 
hitherto  she  had  been  cheered  by  the  hope  of  one  day  becom- 
ing his  wife ;  that  of  such  an  event  she  now  saw  no  prob- 
ability, and  that  consequently  her  memory  would  be  trans- 
mitted to  posterity  branded  with  the  most  unmerited 
obloquy." 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  33 

She  dwelt  also  on  another  circumstance,  which  serves  to 
throw  a  darker  shade  over  the  traits  of  selfishness  in  Swift's 
character.  This  was  an  eligible  offer  of  marriage  that  had 
been  made  her  by  a  gentleman  named  Tisdal,  which  Swift 
had  first  endeavored  to  defeat  indirectly  by  prescribing 
harsh  conditions,  and  when  these  were  accepted  by  the 
ardent  lover,  had  rejected  altogether. 

The  Bishop  communicated  this  conversation  to  the  Dean, 
who  said  in  reply,  "That  in  early  life  he  had  laid  down  two 
maxims  with  respect  to  matrimony;  the  first  was,  never  to 
marry  unless  possessed  of  a  competency;  the  second,  unless 
this  was  the  case  at  such  a  period  of  life  as  afforded  him  a 
probable  prospect  of  living  to  educate  his  family;  but  yet 
since  her  happiness  depended  on  his  marrying  her,  he  would 
directly  comply  with  her  vv  ishes  on  the  following  terms :  that 
it  should  remain  a  secret  from  all  the  world,  unless  the  dis- 
covery were  called  for  by  some  urgent  necessity,  and  that 
they  should  continue  to  reside  in  separate  houses." 

To  these  hard  conditions  Stella  yielded  a  reluctant  assent, 
and  they  were  privately  married  in  the  deanery  by  the 
Bishop  in  the  early  part  of  the  year  171 6.  Immediately  after 
the  ceremony  Swift  exhibited  the  most  violent  paroxysms 
of  mental  agitation ;  he  hurried  from  the  deanery  to  the  pal- 
-ace,  and  had  a  private  interview  with  Archbishop  King, 
which  lasted  more  than  an  hour.  Towards  its  close  Dr. 
Delany  accidentally  entered  the  library;  Swift  instantly  hur- 
ried out  so  distractedly  as  not  to  recognize  his  friend,  and 
when  Delany  came  up  to  the  Archbishop,  he  found  him  dis- 
solved in  tears.  On  enquiring  the  reason,  the  Archbishop 
replied,  ''You  have  just  met  the  most  unfortunate  man  in 
the  world,  but  you  must  never  venture  to  ask  me  the  cause 
of  his  misfortunes."  The  nature  of  the  secret  intrusted  to 
the  Archbishop  never  transpired;  it  was  at  one  time  sup- 
posed that  it  might  be  discovered  among  some  of  his  papers, 
but  they  have  been  searched  for  the  purpose  in  vain,  and 
there  is  a  tradition  in  the  family  that  the  Archbishop  was 
heard  to  declare  that  the  secret  would  perish  v/ith  him. 
Delany  at  one  time  believed  that  both  Swift  and  Stella  were 
natural  children  of  Sir  William  Temple,  and  that  the  rela- 
tionship was  not  discovered  until  after  the  miarriage.  But 
this  theory  has  been  long  since  abandoned,  and  there  are 
positive  proofs  that  no  such  relationship  existed.  What- 
3 


34  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

ever  may  have  been  the  nature  of  the  impediment,  it  Is 
certain  that  Swift  and  Stella  never  met  afterwards  except 
in  the  presence  of  a  third  person. 

It  is  lamentable  to  add,  that  even  after  the  marriage,  Swift 
continued  to  keep  up  a  tender  intimacy  with  Miss  Vanhom- 
righ.  She  resided  at  a  beautiful  and  romantic  seat  near  Cel- 
bridge,  where,  according  to  the  tradition  of  the  neighbor- 
hood, she  led  a  gloomy  and  secluded  life,  and  was  never  seen 
to  smile  except  at  the  periods  of  Swift's  visits.  Many  anec- 
dotes of  her  kindness  and  benevolence  are  still  related  by  the 
peasantry,  and  the  Dean's  memory  is  anything  but  popular 
in  the  vicinity  of  Celbridge.  It  was  probably  about  this 
period  that  he  projected  "Gulliver's  Travels/'  wdiich  he  de- 
signed to  form  part  of  a  satire  on  the  abuses  of  human  learn- 
ing, to  be  compiled  conjointly  by  himself,  Arbuthnot,  and 
Pope.  So  far  as  the  first  sketch  can  be  traced  in  the  hints 
contained  in  the  letters  to  and  from  Vanessa,  it  appears  that 
the  project  was  originally  confined  to  caricaturing  the  exag- 
gerations of  travelers.  The  popularity  of  "Robinson  CrusoQ" 
appears  to  have  suggested  the  change  in  the  character  of 
Gulliver,  from  a  starched  philosopher,  as  originally  designed, 
to  a  blunt  sailor.  Dunlop,  in  his  erudite  History  of  Fiction, 
has  dwelt  very  forcibly  on  the  points  of  resemblance  between 
Gulliver  and  Crusoe,  and  has  established  a  strong  proba- 
bility that  the  similarity  is  not  accidental. 

In  the  year  1720  Swift  quitted  his  occupations  and  amuse- 
ments to  appear  once  more  upon  the  stage  as  a  politician. 
Ireland  v/as  at  this  period  the  most  unhappy  country  in  Eu- 
rope; its  ancient  nobles  and  landed  proprietors  had  been 
driven  into  exile  during  the  civil  wars,  their  places  were 
supplied  by  the  descendants  of  Cromwell's  soldiers  and  ad- 
venturers, whose  sole  security  for  their  new  estates  con- 
sisted in  the  support  of  the  English  Parliament  and  the  pro- 
tection of  the  English  army.  To  purchase  this  aid  they 
were  forced  to  sacrifice  the  national  prosperity  of  their 
adopted  country  to  the  commercial  jealousy  of  England; 
but  they  paid  the  price  with  reluctance,  and  would  have 
resisted  had  they  dared.  But  the  governing  party  in  Ire- 
land, the  Protestant  ascendancy,  was  comparatively  small, 
dependent  on  their  connection  with  England  for  their  sup- 
port against  the  great  majority,  who  regarded  them  as 
aliens,  and  hated  them  for  their  religion,  and  for  the  lands 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  35 

confiscated  from  the  old  natives.  William  III.  appears  to 
have  been  in  some  degree  coerced  by  the  English  Parlia- 
ment into  the  measures  which  he  adopted  for  destroying  the 
woolen  manufacture  in  Ireland,  where  it  had  acquired  con- 
siderable prosperity;  and  he  applied  to  the  Irish  parliament 
to  pass  laws  themselves  for  the  encouragement  of  the 
hempen  and  linen  manufacturers  in  their  country,  and  the 
discouragement  of  the  woolen.  In  compliance  with  this 
requisition,  an  act  was  passed  in  January,  1698,  for  the  im- 
position of  such  additional  duties  on  all  woolens  except 
friezes  as  amounted  almost  to  a  prohibition.  But  this  did 
not  satisfy  the  spirit  of  monopoly  which  then  possessed  the 
British  Parliament.  A  joint  address  from  both  Houses  was 
presented  against  Irish  woolens,  to  which  the  King  made  the 
following  memorable  reply : 

My  Lords  and  Gentlemen: 

I  shall  do  all  that  in  me  lies  to  discourage  the  woolen 
manufacture  of  Ireland,  and  to  encourage  the  linen  manu- 
facture there;  and  to  promote  the  trade  of  England. 

July  2d,  1698. 

The  promise  to  encourage  linen  was  not  kept,  but  the  dis- 
couragement of  woolens  was  observed  to  the  letter.  In 
the  year  1699  the  British  ParHament  prohibited  the  exporta- 
tion from  Ireland  of  all  cloth  made  of  wool  or  containing 
any  mixture  of  it,  to  any  country  except  South  Britain,  and 
even  in  that  case  under  such  duties  and  restrictions  as  vir- 
tually amounted  to  a  total  exclusion.  These  prohibitory 
laws  were  accompanied  with  enforcements  as  inconsistent 
with  the  legislative  distinctness  of  Ireland  as  with  the  prin- 
ciples of  the  English  constitution.  The  accused  were  liable 
to  the  penalties  of  confiscation,  imprisonment,  and  trans- 
portation, without  the  benefit  of  a  fair  trial ;  for  though  they 
should  have  been  acquitted  under  all  the  forms  of  laws  in 
Ireland,  they  might  still  be  carried  to  England  to  be  tried 
by  a  foreign  jury,  far  from  their  friends  and  the  witnesses 
in  their  favor,  perhaps  without  money  or  resources. 

Such  a  system  of  government  necessarily  produced  gen- 
eral distrss,  and  Swift  boldly  made  an  effort  for  its  allevia- 
tion, by  publishing  a  pamphlet  recommending  the  Irish  to 
abstain  from  the  use  of  English  manufactures,  and  to  use 


36  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

no  articles  of  dress  that  were  not  the  produce  of  native  in- 
dustry. The  ruHng  powers  were  alarmed;  the  pamphlet 
was  declared  seditious;  its  printer,  Waters,  was  arrested 
and  brought  to  trial.  Whitshed,  the  Chief  Justice,  one  of 
the  most  thorough  partisans  that  ever  sat  on  the  Irish  bench, 
charged  the  jury,  and  laying  his  hand  on  his  heart,  solemnly 
protested  that  the  author's  design  was  to  bring  in  the  Pre- 
tender; and  when  a  verdict  for  acquittal  was  tendered,  he 
remanded  the  jury  nine  times,  until  at  length  he  wearied 
them  into  a  special  verdict,  by  which  the  matter  was  left 
to  the  discretion  of  the  judges.  His  colleagues  were  afraid 
to  act  upon  the  verdict;  the  invidious  business  was  ad- 
journed from  term  to  term,  until  at  length,  in  the  vice- 
royalty  of  the  Duke  of  Grafton,  it  was  terminated  by  a  nolle 
prosequi. 

The  violence  of  the  government  tended  only  to  invest 
Swift  with  extraordinary  popularity:  he  became  a  universal 
favorite  with  all  classes  of  Irishmen,  save  the  mere  creatures 
of  the  castle;  and  while  his  circle  of  private  friends  was 
enlarged,  he  tasted  largely  of  the  pleasures  derived  from 
public  admiration.  But  he  made  little  use  of  the  power  thus 
obtained;  his  time  was  frittered  away  in  trifling  and  jocular 
communications  to  Sheridan,  Delany,  and  his  other  ad- 
mirers, few  of  which  rise  above  the  level  of  mediocrity.  Fate 
had  also  a  severe  blow  in  store  for  him.  In  1723,  Miss  Van- 
homrigh  urged  an  immediate  union  so  pertinaciously  that  he 
was  forced  to  confess  that  he  had  been  already  married  to 
Stella.  Disappointment  and  vexation  brought  the  unfortun- 
ate Vanessa  to  a  premature  grave:  before  her  death,  she 
destroyed  a  will  which  she  had  made  in  the  Dean's  favor,  and 
made  a  second,  in  which  she  enjoined  her  executors  to  pub- 
lish the  poem  of  Cadenus  and  Vanessa,  in  which  the  Dean 
had  avowed  his  love,  and  also  several  of  his  warmest  letters. 
Bishop  Berkeley,  one  of  Swift's  most  intim.ate  friends,  was 
appointed  the  executioner  of  her  vengeance;  he  published 
the  poem  with  great  reluctance,  but  he  withheld  the  letters, 
for  reasons  sufficiently  obvious  to  all  who  have  read  the  por- 
tion of  this  correspondence  which  has  since  appeared. 

The  effect  produced  by  the  appearance  of  the  poem,  both 
on  Swift  and  Stella,  was  very  great.  The  Dean  went  on  a 
tour  through  the  south  of  Ireland  for  two  months,  both  to 
banish  unpleasant  reflections  and  to  give  time  for  calumny 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  37 

to  subside.  Stella  went  to  the  house  of  a  friend  in  the  coun- 
try, where  in  a  few  weeks,  she  recovered  her  usual  equanim- 
ity. 

During  one  of  his  occasional  trips  to  England,  Swift  is 
said  to  have  waited  on  Sir  Robert  Walpole,  and  to  have 
made  overtures  to  that  minister.  In  the  course  of  conversa- 
tion Swift  pointed  to  some  ivy,  and  said,  "I  am  like  that 
ivy;  I  want  support."  "Why,  then,  did  you  attach  yourself 
to  a  falling  wall?"  was  the  minister's  witty  rejoinder.  The 
Dean  saw  that  there  was  no  hope,  and  took  his  leave;  but 
thenceforward  he  cherished  the  most  bitter  animosity  against 
Walpole.  In  the  notes  on  the  character  of  Flimnap,  in  the 
Voyage  to  Lilliput,  some  of  Swift's  attacks  on  the  premier 
are  pointed  out;  it  deserves  to  be  added,  that  they  amused 
Walpole  just  as  much  as  they  did  other  people. 

In  the  year  1724  great  complaints  were  made  of  a  scarcity 
of  copper  coinage  in  Ireland;  to  remedy  the  inconvenience 
a  patent  was  granted  to  Wood,  a  manufacturer  of  Wolver- 
hampton, authorizing  him  to  coin  one  hundred  and  eighty 
thousand  pounds'  worth  of  half-pence  and  farthings  for  the 
kingdom  of  Ireland.  The  coins  sent  over  by  Wood  were  of 
a  debased  metal,  and  Swift  v/rote  a  series  of  letters  under 
the  signature  of  a  Drapier,  showing  the  folly  of  receiving, 
and  the  mischief  that  must  ensue  from  giving  gold  and  silver 
for  coin  not  worth  a  third  part  of  its  nominal  value.  The 
nation  became  alarmed;  addresses  against  the  patent  were 
voted  by  the  Irish  Padiament  and  most  of  the  civic  corpora- 
tions. The  grand  jury  of  the  county  of  Dublin  presented, 
as  enemies  to  their  country,  all  who  should  attempt  to  put 
the  coin  into  circulation;  and  it  was  almost  universally  stig- 
matized by  magistrates  and  gentlemen  assembled  at  the 
quarter  sessions  throughout  the  country.  The  British  Privy 
Council  published  a  report  in  favor  of  the  coin,  and  severely 
condemned  the  address  of  the  Irish  Parliament.  But  the 
popular  clamor  was  too  great  and  too  general  to  be  resisted, 
and  on  the  recommendation  of  Archbishop  Boulter  the 
patent  was  revoked  in  the  following  year.  Whatever  may 
have  been  Swift's  motives,  and  of  their  purity  reasonable 
doubts  may  be  entertained,  it  is  unquestionable  that  on  this 
occasion  he  affected  great  good,  not  by  upsetting  Wood's 
patent,  which  in  fact  was  not  injurious  to  the  country,  but 


38  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

by  showing  the  Irish  what  could  be  affected  by  turning  from 
party  poHtics  to  a  national  object. 

This  publication  gave  serious  annoyance  to  the  govern- 
ment ;  a  proclamation  was  issued,  offering  a  reward  of  three 
hundred  pounds  for  the  discovery  of  the  author;  Harding, 
the  printer,  was  arrested,  but  the  indictment  preferred 
against  him  was  ignored  by  the  grand  jury.  Swift  subse- 
quently waited  on  the  Lord-lieutenant  Carteret,  a  nobleman 
of  great  politeness  and  liberality,  and  remonstrated  against 
the  severe  measures  which  the  government  had  adopted. 
Carteret  replied  by  an  appropriate  quotation  from  Virgil: 

Res  durae  et  regni  novitas  me  talia  cogunt  Moliri. 

Whenever  Swift's  life  appeared  most  fraught  with  enjoy- 
m.ent,  some  fatal  shock  seemed  preparing  for  his  domestic 
misery.  In  the  very  midst  of  the  Drapier's  popularity,  Stel- 
la's health  began  to  visibly  decline.  The  Dean  was  in 
England  when  she  was  first  attacked,  preparing  to  pay  a 
visit  to  Lord  Bolingbroke,  then  an  exile  in  France;  the 
calamity  brought  him  back  to  Ireland,  where  his  presence 
for  a  time  restored  Stella  to  imperfect  health.  He  then 
came  back  to  England,  and  in  conjunction  with  Pope, -pub- 
lished three  volumes  of  Miscellanies. 

In  the  year  1727,  Gulliver's  Travels  appeared,  and  were 
hailed  with  a  mixture  of  merriment  and  amazement,  which 
at  once  stamped  their  popularity.  Some  contemporary  crit- 
ics accused  him  of  having  imitated  Defoe;  and  the  charge 
has  been  often  repeated.  No  doubt,  there  are  many  striking- 
points  of  resemblance  between  the  two  great  fictions  of 
these  authors,  especially  the  air  of  truth  which  the  recital 
of  minute  and  apparently  striking  circumstances  gives  to 
their  narrative;  but  while  Defoe  strictly  confines  himself 
to  romantic  adventure.  Swift  takes  the  higher  aim  of  philo- 
sophic satire,  and  seems  ^o  consider  the  incidents  of  his 
story  as  secondary  considerations. 

Several  foreign  cities  have  expressed  surprise  at  the  ab- 
sence of  all  allusion  to  Defoe  and  his  works  in  Swift's  pro- 
ductions. There  is  not,  however,  any  part  of  Gulliver's 
Travels  in  which  such  a  reference  appears  necessary,  or  even 
expedient;  and  if  there  were,  it  must  still  be  remembered 
that  Swift  and  Defoe  were  at  opposite  poles  in  politics,  and 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  39 

that  nothing  in  England  is  so  rare  or  so  perilous  as  justice  to 
a  party  opponent.  Even  in  the  present  day,  were  a  Tory  to 
express  admiration  of  Moore's  witty  Lyrics,  the  cry  of  de- 
serter would  be  raised  by  his  friends:  or  if  a  Whig  paid  due 
homage  to  Southey,  the  world  would  look  for  his  speedy  en- 
rolment in  the  Carlton  Club.  In  Swift's  days  the  parties  ac- 
tually contended  for  life  and  death;  Oxford  and  Orford  risked 
the  penalties  of  treason  in  their  respective  administrations; 
their  followers  looked  upon  their  rivals,  not  as  opponents 
to  be  vanquished,  but  as  enemies  to  be  exterminated.  Tliis 
has  long  been  the  source  of  great  intellectual  evil  in  Eng- 
land, but  perhaps  political  injustice  is  a  portion  of  the  tax 
that  must  be  paid  for  political  liberty. 

III. 

Gulliver's  Travels  were  not  published  until  after  Swift's 
return  to  Ireland.  They  appeared  with  an  affected  mys- 
tery, of  which  the  Dean  was  very  fond,  and  which  even  his 
most  intimate  friends  were  compelled  to  respect.  Pope, 
Arbuthnot,  and  Gay  so  far  humored  his  caprice  as  to  write 
dubiously  respecting  the  author,  though  the  two  former 
must  have  known  that  such  a  work  was  projected  long  be- 
fore. There  was,  however,  a  reason  for  his  concealment,  of 
which,  in  the  present  day,  we  can  form  no  very  adequate  no- 
tion. Walpole  was  so  enraged  by  the  Drapier's  Letters,  that 
he  threatened  to  arrest  Swift;  the  Irish  people  formed  volun- 
tary associations  for  the  Dean's  defense,  and  the  minister 
was  dissuaded  from  his  design  by  a  judicious  friend,  who  in- 
quired whether  he  had  ten  thousand  men  ready  to  escort 
the  messenger  charged  with  the  execution  of  the  warrant? 
A  new  and  more  bitter  attack  on  the  administration  seemed 
likely  to  awake  the  slumbering  vengeance  of  the  Premier, 
and  the  recent  impeachment  of  Bishop  Atterbury  had  shown 
that  he  would  not  be  scrupulous  in  the  use  of  intercepted 
correspondence. 

Few  works  have  had  greater  success  on  their  first  ap- 
pearance than  Gulliver's  Travels;  and  there  are  fewer  to 
v/hose  merits  posterity  has  rendered  more  substantial  jus- 
tice. This  is  not  the  place  for  entering  upon  the  examina- 
tion of  its  substantial  deserts;  but  it  is  of  some  importance 
to  examine  how  it  was  viewed  by  contemporaries. 


40  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

The  Voyage  to  the  LilHput  is  an  exposure  of  the  policy 
of  the  English  court  during  the  reign  of  George  I.     Swift 
and  his  friends  were  persuaded  that  the  treaty  of  Utrecht 
had  been  the  salvation  of  Great  Britain,  that  it  had  espe- 
cially secured  our  naval  supremacy,   and  effectually  pre- 
vented France  from  rivaling  us  at  sea.     He  therefore  re- 
garded the  impeachment  of  Oxford,  and  the  banishment  of 
Bolingbroke,  as  gross  acts  of  national  injustice,  attributable 
chiefly  to  the  ambition  and  jealousy  of  Walpole,  whom  he 
stigmatizes  under  the  name  of  Flimnap.    The  more  minute 
political  allusions  are  pointed  out  in  the  notes;    it  will  be 
more  convenient  here  to  confine  attention  to  generalities. 
Walpole  had  many  enemies,  even  in   the  nominal  Whig 
party,  who  professed  themselves  adherents  to  the  Prince 
of  Wales;    these   persons,   aware  that  they  could  not  of 
themselves  form  an  administration,  projected   a  coalition 
with  the  Tories,  or  as  they  called  them,  the  party  of  the 
country  gentlemen.    In  the  language  of  the  day,  they  hoped 
to  form  a  ''broad-bottom  ministry;"  they  affected  to  de- 
scribe the  difference  between  the  parties  in  principle   as 
very  trifling,  not  greater  than  that  between  the  high-heels 
and  low-heels  of  Lilliput;    and  as  appeals  had  been  made 
to  religious  prejudices,  they  represented  the  controversy 
between  the  Latin  and  English  churches  as  not  more  im- 
portant than  that  between  the  Big-endians  and  the  Little- 
endians.    Projects  for  something  like  a  union  between  the 
churches  were  not  unfrequently  made  at  the  time,  and  the 
chances  of  success  for  a  season,  seemed  far  from  desperate. 
The  Prince  of  Wales,  afterwards  George  IL,  vv^as  believed 
not  to  be  indisposed  to  a  union  of  parties,  as  is  intimated 
by  the  heir-apparent  of  Lilliput  wearing  one  shoe  with  a 
high  and  the  other  with  a  low  heel.     All  these  expecta- 
tions were  disappointed;   but  when  the  Travels  appeared, 
they  were  rife  in  every  political  circle,  and  the  nation  gen- 
erally looked  for  great  advantages  from  their  realization. 
The   political  views  advocated  in  Lilliput  were   therefore 
generally  popular;    they  gratified  the  entire  body  of  the 
Tories,   the  discontented   section  of  the   Whigs,   and   the 
great  multitude  which  in  every  free  state  looks  for  Utopian 
advantages  from  the  mere  fact  of  change. 

In  Brobdingnag,  the  satire  takes  a  wider  range;  the  ob- 
ject of  assault  is  changed  from  the  tactics  of  a  party  to  the 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  41 

general  system  of  policy:  like  Bolingbroke,  Swift  attempts 
to  sketch  the  ideal  character  of  a  patriot  king,  and  an  effi- 
cient system  of  government.  The  fiction  is  very  happily 
suited  to  this  design:  the  opinions  which  beings  of  a  reflec- 
tive and  philosophic  character,  endowed  with  immense  force, 
were  likely  to  form  of  the  intrigues  and  scandals  of  a  Euro- 
pean court,  are  developed  with  exquisite  skill.  It  is  man  view- 
ing the  political  squabbles  of  an  ant-hill,  or  Gulliver  himself 
estimating  the  court  of  Lilliput.  The  political  principles  ad- 
vocated in  the  Voyage  to  Brobdingnag  were  the  same  as 
those  which  the  Tory  party  supported  in  Parliament.  From 
the  imperfection  of  the  parliamentary  reports  in  these  days, 
and  from  the  influence  of  the  cry  of  Jacobitism,  with  which 
the  Whig  leaders  assailed  their  opponents,  we  have  only 
very  imperfect  specimens  of  the  eloquence  of  Shippen,  Wind- 
ham, St.  Aubin,  etc.;  but  even  the  fragments  which  have 
been  preserved  prove  that  the  Tory  party  in  the  reign  of 
George  I.  was  highly  respectable  in  character,  talent,  and 
fearless  advocacy  of  principle. 

The  contrast  between  Gulliver's  position  in  Brobdingnag 
and  Lilliput  is  very  happily  conceived,  and  it  lends  singular 
force  to  the  more  general  application  of  the  satire.  The 
only  special  attack  in  the  Voyage  to  Brobdingnag  is  directed 
against  the  maids  of  honor,  for  whom,  as  Dr.  Delany  in- 
forms us.  Swift  had  no  great  veneration.  It  was  to  the  in- 
fluence of  the  ladies  of  the  court  that  he  attributed  Arch- 
bishop Sharpe's  success  in  preventing  him  from  getting  a 
bishopric;  and  he  suspected  that,  notwithstanding  all  his 
flatteries,  Mrs.  Masham  was  far  from  anxious  to  effect  a 
change  in  his  favor  in  the  mind  of  Queen  Anne. 

The  Voyage  to  Laputa  was  the  least  relished,  because  it 
was  the  least  understood  at  the  time  of  its  publication.  The 
pursuits  of  the  inhabitants  of  the  Flying  Island  were  de- 
signed to  ridicule  the  proceedings  of  the  Royal  Society,  a 
body  which  had  previously  came  under  the  lash  of  the  auth- 
or of  Hudibras.  Sir  Isaac  Newton  had  provoked  the  Dean's 
resentment,  by  giving  his  opinions  as  master  of  the  mint  in 
favor  of  Wood's  copper  coinage;  and  it  was  probably  the 
absence  of  mind  for  which  that  philosopher  was  notorious 
which  suggested  the  whimsical  notion  of  the  Flapper  as  an 
attendant  upon  the  Laputians.  Swift  had  no  taste  for  music ; 
in  his  own  words,  he  could  find  no  difference  "  'twixt  tweedk- 


42  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 


dum  and  tweedledee ;"  he  therefore  deemed  the  passion  for 
music,  and  especially  the  general  admiration  of  Handel 
which  prevailed  in  his  day,  as  a  legitimate  object  of  satire. 
His  attack  on  the  musician  is,  however,  a  greater  failure 
than  that  on  the  philosophers,  for  he  was  too  ignorant  of 
the  science  to  discover  the  points  most  open  to  assault.  In. 
the  College  of  Projections,  he  was  more  successful;  during 
the  rage  of  speculation,  which  rose  at  the  time  of  the  South 
Sea  Scheme,  proposals  to  the  full  as  absurd  as  any  Swift  has 
described  were  rife,  and  joint-stock  companies  formed  for 
their  execution.  Some  of  these  will  be  found  mentioned  in 
the  notes,  and  those  who  rememiber  the  years  1825  and  1826 
will  be  at  no  loss  to  supply  parallels.  It  was  generally  felt 
that  the  scenes  with  the  ghost  at  Glubbdubdrib  were  de- 
cided failures,  and  posterity  has  not  reversed  this  judgment. 
The  melancholy  description  of  the  Struldbruggs  appears  to 
have  been  written  with  too  correct  an  anticipation  of  the 
calamitous  end  of  Swift's  own  Hfe;  it  is  written  with  the 
same  feeling  that  dictated  his  exclamation  to  Dr.  Young 
when  they  passed  a  withered  oak,  "I  am  like  that  tree,  I  shall 
die  at  top." 

The  most  popular  of  the  voyages  with  the  generality  of 
readers  was  that  of  the  Houyhnhnms;  its  misanthropy  is  re- 
pulsive, and  almost  disgusting;  miserable  indeed  must  be 
the  condition  of  a  man  who  can  derive  pleasure  from  a 
satire  against  hum.anity.  But  as  Sir  Walter  Scott  has  well 
observed,  the  state  of  society  at  that  time  in  Ireland  was  well 
calculated  to  inspire  the  worst  opinions  of  human  nature; 
Swift  had  before  him  a  faction  of  petty  tyrants  and  a  nation 
of  trampled  slaves;  the  penal  laws,  not  less  remarkable  for 
their  absurdity  than  their  iniquity,  seemed  as  if  the  party  of 
the  ascendency  regarded  persecution  as  a  toy  or  plaything, 
and  made  human  suffering  an  unhuman  sport.  But  there 
were  other  causes  that  tended  to  strengthen  and  develop 
this  morbid  tendency  to  misanthropy;  Vanessa  had  sunk 
into  an  early  grave,  Stella  was  fast  following  her;  two  tender 
and  affectionate  hearts  were  his  victims;  all  his  ambitious 
projects  were  blighted,  and  a  disease,  the  most  afflicting  to 
which  humanity  is  exposed,  had  given  premonitory  warnings 
of  its  near  approach.  It  was  such  circumstances  that  gen- 
erated the  gloomy  feelings  under  which  the  character  of  the 
Yahoos  w^as  drawn.    But  disgusting  as  the  picture  is,  it  still 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  43 

conveys  an  important  moral  lesson;  it  is  a  probable  delinea- 
tion of  what  humanity  might  become  if  exposed  to  the  brutal- 
izing influences  of  ignorance  and  unregulated  passions;   it 
pictures  the  triumph  of  sensuality  over  intelligence,  and 
consequently  sets  forth  in  the  strongest  light  the  necessity 
of  moral  training  and  religious  instruction.     There  was  m 
Swift's  day  a  large  class  of  disappointed  politicians    who, 
like  him,  sought  consolation  in  misanthropy.     His  old  ene- 
my  the  Duchess  of  Marlborough,  who  had  long  outlived 
her  power,  but  never  lost  the   love  of  it,   expressed  her 
^varm  delight  with  the  account  of  the  Yahoos,  and  pro- 
claimed Swift  the  only  accurate  delineator  of  human  nature. 
The  general  narrative  was  not  less  agreeable  to  the  mass 
of  readers  than  the  satire  to  particular  classes  of  politicians. 
Gulliver's  character  is  so  thoroughly  natural,  so  completely 
that  of  the  English  sailor  of  his  day,  that  many  were  dis- 
posed to  hail  him  as  a  personal  acquaintance.     A  naval 
man  at  the  time  used  to  assert  that  he  knew  Captain  Gulli- 
ver very  well,  but  that  he  lived  at  Wapping,  and  not  at 

Rotherhithe.  ,   .      t^  •.  •        -^ 

The  fame  of  Gulliver  was  not  confined  to   Britain;    it 
spread  rapidly  through  Europe.    Voltaire,  who  was  then  m 
England  warmly  recommended  it  to  his  friends  m  1:^  ranee, 
and  advised  them  to  have  it  translated.  The  task  was  under- 
taken by  L'Abbe  Desfontaines,  who  was,  however,  afraid 
to  eive  a  literal  version  of  Swift's  bold  opinions.     He  re- 
modeled the  work  in  order  to  adapt  it  to  French  taste   and 
it  is  no  unamusing  task  to  compare  his  translation  with  the 
original,  as  an  example  of  the  differences  m  the  style  and 
habits  of  thought  between  the  Augustan  age  of  England 
and  that  of  France.    The  Abbe  published  also  a  new  Gulli- 
ver  which  is  uterly  unreadable;   the  same  may  be  said  ot 
the'  continuation  of  Gulliver's  Travels  which  appeared  m 
England;    it  was  at  once  an  impudent  forgery  and  a  mis- 
erable plagarism  from  a  French  book  not  worth  robbing; 
it  dropped,  however,  ^'stillborn"  from  the  press. 

IV. 

Fortune  appeared  once  more  to  shine  on  Swift,  when  Gul- 
liver's Travels  were  published.  Congratulatory  and  compli- 
mentary letters  were  sent  to  him  from  the  Court  of  the 


44  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

Prince  of  Wales;  the  Princess  and  the  Prince's  mistress, 
who  lived  in  anomalous  concord,  both  joined  in  these  hon- 
ors, and  the  Dean  had  hopes  that  a  new  reign  would  open 
the  door  of  promotion.  He  sent  the  Princess  a  dress  of 
Irish  manufacture — a  poplin,  which  for  the  last  century 
has  been  the  chief  glory  of  the  Irish  loom.  Caroline,  in 
turn,  promised  him  a  collection  of  medals,  which  she  never 
sent.  Mrs.  Howard,  the  Prince's  mistress,  sent  the  Dean 
a  ring,  in  return  for  which  he  transmitted  her  a  little  golden 
crown,  which  was  designed  to  represent  the  diadem  of  the 
Queen  of  Lilliput.  In  the  midst  of  these  encouraging  cir- 
cumstances, Stella  died,  and  Swift's  domestic  happiness,  such 
as  it  was,  ended  torever.  About  the  same  time,  George 
I.  died,  and  George  II.,  to  the  surprise  of  everybody,  con- 
tinued Walpole  at  the  head  of  the  administration.  Swift 
made  some  efforts  to  preserve  his  favor  with  Queen  Caro- 
line, but  the  Queen  had  forgotten  the  promises  of  the 
Princess.  He  clung  still  longer  to  the  hopes  he  entertained 
of  promotion  through  the  influence  of  Mrs.  Howard;  but 
George  II.  was  governed  by  his  wife,  not  by  his  mistresses, 
and  atoned  for  his  conjugal  infidelity  by  permitting  the 
Queen  to  regulate  all  the  affairs  of  state.  The  Dean  at 
length  discovered  that  all  his  exertions  were  vain;  he  re- 
turned to  Ireland  just  before  the  death  of  Stella,  and  never 
again  visited  England. 

From  time  to  time.  Swift  wrote  occasional  pamphlets  on 
Irish  policy,  which  served  to  maintain  his  influence  with 
the  public;  but  in  private,  the  circle  of  his  acquaintance  be- 
came daily  more  contracted,  and  few  were  admitted  to  his 
table  who  did  not  submit  to  his  caprices  and  administer 
large  doses  of  flattery  to  his  pride.  His  favorite  maxim  be- 
came, ''Vive  la  bagatelle,"  and  it  is  probable  that  he  found 
trifles  necessary  to  life.  His  petty  amusements  gave  em- 
ployment to  a  mind  which  could  not  be  idle,  but  which 
sickness  and  sorrow  incapacitated  for  steady  exertion.  As 
years  advanced,  his  fits  of  giddiness  and  deafness  became 
more  frequent,  and  the  acerbity  of  his  temper  increased  in 
the  same  proportion.  He  still  preserved  the  talent  for 
minute  observation,  of  which  he  had  made  such  good  use 
in  Gulliver,  and  gave  a  remarkable  instance  of  it  in  his 
'•'Polite  Conversation,"  and  his  "Directions  to  Servants," 
the  latter  of  which,  however,  was  not  published  until  after 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  45 

his  death.  In  1736,  while  writing  the  "Legion  Club,"  a 
bitter  lampoon  on  the  Irish  House  of  Commons,  he  was 
seized  with  a  fit  of  giddiness  so  severe  and  so  long-con- 
tinued that  he  never  after  ventured  to  attempt  any  work 
of  thought  or  labor.  In  1741  his  mental  condition  was 
such  that  it  became  necessary  to  appoint  legal  guardians  of 
his  person  and  property.  A  short  interval  of  reason  en- 
sued in  the  following  year,  but  the  hopes  to  which  it  gave 
rise  were  soon  dispelled;  in  a  few  days  he  sunk  into  a  state 
of  lethargic  stupidity,  motionless,  heedless,  and  speechless. 
Richard  Brennan,  the  servant  who  attended  him  in  his  last 
illness,  and  in  whose  arms  he  expired,  used  to  relate  that 
whilst  the  power  of  speech  remained,  he  continued  constant 
in  the  performance  of  his  private  devotions,  and  in  propor- 
tion as  his  memory  failed,  they  were  gradually  shortened, 
until  at  last  he  could  only  repeat  the  Lord's  Prayer;  which, 
however,  he  continued  to  do  until  the  power  of  utterance 
forever  ceased.  His  death  was  tranquil.  ''He  went  ofif," 
said  Brennan,  "like  the  snufif  of  a  candle."  He  bequeathed 
his  property  to  found  a  hospital  for  idiots  and  lunatics;  in 
his  own  words, — 

He  grave  the  little  wealth  he  had 

To  build  a  house  for  fools  and  mad  ' 

To  show  by  one  satiric  touch, 

No  nation  wanted  it  so  much. 


Mr.  G.  M.  Berkeley  declared  that  there  were  only  four 
authentic  portraits  of  Swift,  of  which  that  preserved  as  a 
kind  of  heirloom  in  the  deanery  of  St.  Patrick's  is  the  most 
faithful.  A  copy  of  it  adorns  the  Dining  Hall  in  Trinity 
College,  Dublin,  and  represents  a  countenance  strongly 
marked  with  grief,  indignation,  and  benevolence.  He  was 
tall,  robust,  and  well  made,  his  complexion  was  rather  dark, 
his  eyes  were  blue  and  very  expressive,  his  eyebrows  dark 
and  heavy,  his  nose  inclined  to  be  aquiline,  his  Hps  slightly 
curled  upwards.  In  his  youth  he  was  considered  handsome, 
and  in  the  decline  of  life  his  figure  is  universally  described 
as  noble  and  imposing.  He  was  a  very  fluent  speaker,  ready 
at  retort  and  reply,  never  thrown  ofif  his  center  by  the  un- 
expected attack  of  an  assailant.  This  talent  would  have 
rendered  him  a  formidable  auxiliary  if  the  Tories  had  given 


46  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

him  a  seat  on  the  episcopal  bench,  in  the  EngHsh  House  of 
Peers,  at  a  time  when,  with  the  exception  of  Atterbury, 
there  was  not  an  EngHsh  prelate  calculated  to  shine  in  de- 
bates. The  successive  lords-lieutenant  of  Ireland  dreaded 
his  tongue  as  much  as  his  pen;  and  all  of  them,  from  the 
amiable  Carteret  to  the  haughty  Dorset,  sought  to  disarm 
his  hostility  by  paying  homage  to  his  genius. 

All  his  biographers  dwell  on  the  charms  of  Swift's  con- 
versation; the  originality  of  his  humor,  which  was  some- 
times carried  too  far,  at  first  appeared  startling,  but  when 
managed  with  the  skill  which  Swift  could  exert  when  he 
pleased,  it  rendered  him  a  companion  whose  society  was 
everywhere  sought.  He  delighted  in  relating  anecdotes, 
which  his  exquisite  touches  of  satire  rendered  irresistibly 
amusing,  while  his  keenness  of  observation  made  them  not 
less  instructive.  He  took  great  delight  in  puns,  and  was 
the  author  of  some  of  the  best  that  exist;  for  instance,  his 
application  of  a  line  from  Virgil  to  the  lady  who  swept 
down  a  Cremona  fiddle  with  her  mantle: 

Mantua,  vae!  nimium  miserae  vicini  Cremonae, 

His  singularity  of  expression  was  manifested  on  some  ex- 
traordinary occasions;  when  he  introduced  Bishop  Berke- 
ley to  Lord  Berkeley  of  Stratton,  he  made  use  of  these 
words,  ''My  lord,  here  is  a  relation  of  your  lordship's  who 
is  good  for  something,  and  that,  as  times  go,  is  saying 
a  great  deal." 

One  day,  while  traveling  in  the  south  of  Ireland,  he 
stopped  to  give  his  horse  water  at  a  brook  which  crossed 
the  road;  a  gentleman  of  the  neighborhood  halted  for  the 
same  purpose,  and  saluted  him,  a  courtesy  which  the  Dean 
returned.  They  parted,  but  the  gentleman,  struck  by  the 
Dean's  figure,  sent  his  servant  to  inquire  who  the  Dean  was ; 
the  messenger  first  made  application  to  the  Dean's  attend- 
ant, who  was  an  original  in  his  own  way,  and  he  referred 
the  man  to  his  master.  The  messenger  rode  up  to  the 
Dean,  and  said,  "Please,  sir,  master  would  be  obliged  if 
you  would  tell  him  who  you  are?"  "Willingly,"  replied 
the  Dean;  "tell  your  master  I  am  the  person  that  bowed 
to  him  v/hen  we  were  giving  our  horses  water  at  the  brook 
yonder." 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  47 

The  Irish  aristocracy  had  Httle  favor  with  Swift;  he  keen- 
ly assailed  their  jobbing  propensities,  particularly  in  the 
management  of  roads  and  bridges;  he  assailed  one  with 
mock  praise,  declaring, 

So  great  was  his  bounty, 
He  erected  a  bridge  at  the  cost  of  the  county. 

Another  worthy  had  taken  for  his  motto  Eues  hand 
male  notus,  which  Swift,  with  equal  wit  and  truth,  trans- 
lated, "Better  known  than  trusted."  Chief  Justice  Whits- 
head's  motto  was  made  the  subject  of  a  stinging  epigram: 

Libertas  et  natale  solum— 
Pine  words!  I  wonder  where  you  stole  'em; 
Could  nothing  but  your  chief  reproach 
Serve  for  the  motto  of  your  coach? 

He  had  an  extraordinary  talent  for  extempore  rhymes. 
An  innkeeper  who  wished  to  add  the  king's  head  to  his  old 
sign  of  the  bell,  asked  for  a  motto  which  might  reconcile 
such  an  anomaly.     Swift  gave  him, 

May  the  king  live  long; 
Dong  ding,  diftg  dong. 

After  the  publication  of  the  Drapier's  Letters  he  became 
so  popular  that  he  was  always  followed  by  a  crowd  when- 
ever he  appeared  in  the  streets  of  Dublin.  He  used  fre- 
quently to  say  that  the  Irish  ought  to  subscribe  and  pur- 
chase him  a  stock  of  hats,  for  that  his  own  was  worn  out  by 
the  number  of  salutes  he  had  to  return. 

Many  apocryphal  anecdotes  are  related  of  his  interchange 
of  slang  with  the  shoeblacks  and  beggars  of  Dublin,  a  race 
remarkable  for  their  readiness  in  repartee;  but  it  has  hap- 
pened to  Swift  as  to  other  celebrated  jesters,  to  be  ac- 
counted the  author  of  every  joke,  good  and  bad,  perpetrated 
in  his  day,  and  few  of  the  jokes  preserved  by  tradition  are 
worthy  of  being  repeated. 

His  epigrams  and  lampoons  display  a  ready  and  caustic 
wit.  No  man  was  more  ready  in  "the  amber  immortaliza- 
tion" of  an  enemy;  the  name  of  the  unlucky  offender,  how- 
ever unrhythmical,  "slides  into  verse  and  hitches  in  his 
rhyme,"  where  it  continues  gibbeted,  for  the  mockery  of 


48  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

all  future  generations.  The  best  example  of  this  skill  is 
the  epigram  on  Whiston  and  Ditton,  which,  however,  can- 
not be  quoted;  next  to  it,  perhaps,  may  be  ranked  the 
notice  of  Bettesworth,  a  sergeant  at  law,  who  had  pro- 
voked the  Dean's  hostility  by  attacking  the  privileges  of  the 
clergy: 

Thus  at  the  bar  the  booby  Bettesworth, 
Thoug-h  half  a  crown  o'erpays  his  sweat's  worth, 
Who  knows  in  law,  nor  text,  nor  margent, 
Call  Singleton  his  brother  sergeant. 

When  the  poem  of  which  these  lines  form  a  part  was  first 
published,  it  was  brought  wet  from  the  press  to  a  company 
in  which  Bettesworth  was  present.  The  sergeant  was 
asked  to  read  it,  and  when  he  came  to  the  lines  reflecting 
on  himself,  he  started  up  and  vowed  that  he  would  take 
deadly  revenge.  He  hastened  to  the  deanery,  and,  forcing 
his  way  to  Swift's  presence,  said,  "Sir,  I  am  Sergeant 
Bettesworth."  The  Dean,  with  a  most  innocent  face,  asked, 
''Of  what  regiment,  pray?"  Bettesworth,  "still  more  en- 
raged, demanded,  "Are  you  the  author  if  this  paper?" 
Swift,  with  great  coolness,  answered,  "Mr.  Bettesworth,  I 
was  in  my  youth,  acquainted  with  great  lawyers,  who, 
knowing  my  disposition  to  satire,  advised  me  if  any  scoun- 
drel or  blockhead  whom  I  had  lampooned  should  ask  me 
such  a  question  as  you  have  put,  that  I  should  deny  the 
authorship,  and  I  therefore  tell  you  that  I  am  not  the  auth- 
or of  these  lines."  Bettesworth  blustered,  but  could  get 
no  further  satisfaction;  at  last  he  went  off,  saying,  "Mr. 
Dean,  you  are  like  one  of  your  own  Yahoos;  you  have 
clambered  to  a  place  of  security  whence  you  can  gratify 
your  vindictive  temper  by  pelting  filth  at  your  betters." 
As  Bettesworth  continued  to  threaten  violent  and  cor- 
poral revenge,  the  inhabitants  of  St.  Patrick's  district 
formed  an  association  for  the  Dean's  defense,  and  the  un- 
fortunate lawyer  could  scarcely  venture  to  appear  in  the 
streets.  He  subsequently  declared  in  Parliament  that  Swift's 
satire  had  deprived  him  of  more  than  twelve  hundred 
pounds  a  year. 

An  epigram  was  the  last  composition  of  Swift,  and  al- 
most his  last  symptom  of  rationality.  During  a  brief  lucid 
interval  he  was  taken  out  for  a  drive  by  his  physician;  as 
they  passed  through  the  park  Swift  remarked  a  new  build- 


BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE.  49 

ing  which  he  had  never  seen  before,  and  asked  what  it  was. 
The  physician  repHed,  "That,  Mr.  Dean,  is  the  magazine 
of  arms  and  powder,  for  the  security  of  the  city."  "O,  ho !" 
said  the  Dean,  pulling  out  his  pocketbook,  ''let  me  take 
an  item  of  that,  this  is  worth  remarking;  'my  tablets,'  as 
Hamlet  says,  'my  tablets,  memory  put  down  that.' "  He 
then  produced  the  following-  lines,  the  last  which  he  ever 
wrote : 

Behold  a  proof  of  Irish  sense! 

Here  Irish  wit  is  seen! 
When  nothing's  left  that's  worth  defense, 

We  build  a  magazine. 

The  greatest  difficulty  in  the  analysis  of  Swift's  literary 
character  is  to  discover  by  what  depravity  of  intellect  he 
acquired  a  taste  for  loathsome  and  filthy  ideas,  from  which 
every  other  mind  shrinks  with  disgust.  "The  ideas  of  pleas- 
ure," says  Dr.  Johnson^  "even  when  criminal,  may  solicit 
the  imagination;  but  what  has  disease,  deformity,  and 
filth  upon  which  the  thoughts  can  be  allowed  to  dwell?" 
The  answer  is  not  easy;  physicians,  however,  have  fre- 
quently found  such  a  morbid  perversion  of  the  intellect  con- 
nected with  physiological  defects;  the  obliquity  appears  to 
have  been  constitutional  with  Swift;  it  is  found  in  his 
earliest  as  well  as  his  latest  works,  but  it  becomes  most 
offensive  w^hen  the  symptoms  of  his  last  lamentable  disease 
began  to  manifest  themselves. 

Few  political  writers  could  boast  of  such  triumphs.  In 
the  reign  of  Queen  Anne,  he  turned  the  stream  of  popu- 
larity against  the  Whigs,  and  must  be  confessed  to  have 
guided  for  a  time  the  entire  mass  of  public  opinion  in  Eng- 
land. In  the  ensuing  reign  he  became  the  tribune  of  the 
Irish  people,  and  their  political  dictator.  Supported  only 
by  a  trampled  and  oppressed  nation,  he  bade  defiance  to 
the  crown,  the  bench,  and  the  Parliament,  "and  showed  that 
wit  confederated  with  truth  has  such  force  as  authority  is 
unable  to  resist "  To  use  the  words  of  Dr.  Johnson,  "He 
said  truly  of  himself,  that  Ireland  was  his  debtor.  It  was 
from  the  time  that  he  first  began  to  patronize  the  Irish  that 
they  may  date  their  riches  and  prosperity.  He  taught  them 
first  to  know  their  own  interest,  their  weight,  and  their 
strength,  and  gave  them  spirit  to  assert  that  equality  with 
their  fellow-subjects  to  which  they  have  ever  since  been 
4 


50  BIOGRAPHICAL  NOTICE. 

making  vigorous  advances,  and  to  claim  those  rights  which 
they  have  at  last  established.  Nor  can  they  be  charged 
with  ingratitude  to  their  benefactor,  for  they  reverenced 
him  as  a  guardian  and  obeyed  him  as  a  dictator." 

Swift's  memory  is  still  revered  in  Ireland,  and  especially 
in  Dublin;  men  of  every  party  confess  that  he  gave  the 
first  impulse  to  the  exertions  made  for  constitutional  free- 
dom, and  the  consequent  development  of  a  manufacturing 
industry.  His  exertions  of  themselves  were  not,  perhaps, 
of  great  moment,  but  they  Vv^ere  all-important  as  examples. 
There  was  in  his  character  much  to  condemn,  but  there 
was  also  much  to  admire;  very  inferior  deserts  may  secure 
popularity  for  a  day,  substantial  merit  can  alone  embalm 
a  memory  in  the  heart  of  a  nation: 

Then  be  his  failing-s  cover'd  by  his  tomb, 
And  guardian  laurels  o'er  his  ashes  bloom. 


THE  PUBLISHER  TO  THE  READER. 


Lemuel  Gulliver,  the  author  of  these  Travels,  is  my  an- 
cient and  intimate  friend;  there  is  likewise  some  relation 
between  us  on  the  mother's  side.  About  three  years  ago, 
Mr.  Gulliver,  growing  weary  of  the  concourse  of  curious 
people  coming  to  him  at  his  house  in  Redriff,  made  a  small 
purchase  of  land,  with  a  convenient  house,  near  Newark  in 
Nottinghamshire,  his  native  country,  where  he  now  lives, 
retired,  yet  in  good  esteem  among  his  neighbors. 

Although  Mr.  Gulliver  was  born  in  Nottinghamshire, 
where  his  father  dwelt,  yet  I  have  heard  him  say  his  family 
came  from  Oxfordshire;  to  confirm  which,  I  have  observed 
in  the  church-yard  at  Banbury  in  that  country,  several  tombs 
and  monuments  of  the  Gullivers.  Before  he  quitted  Red- 
riff,  he  left  the  custody  of  the  following  papers  in  my  hands, 
with  the  liberty  to  dispose  of  them  as  I  should  think  fit.  I 
have  carefully  perused  them  three  times.  The  style  is  very 
plain  and  simple;  and  the  only  fault  I  find  is,  that  the 
author,  after  the  manner  of  travelers,  is  a  little  too  circum- 
stantial. There  is  an  air  of  truth  apparent  throughout  the 
whole;  and,  indeed,  the  author  was  so  distinguished  for 
his  veracity,  that  it  became  a  sort  of  proverb  among  his 
neighbors  at  Redriff,  when  any  one  affirmed  a  thing  to  say, 
'Tt  was  as  true  as  if  Mr.  Gulliver  had  spoken  it." 

By  the  advice  of  several  worthy  persons,  to  whom,  with 
the  author's  permission,  I  communicated  these  papers,  I 
now  venture  to  send  them  into  the  world,  hoping  they  may 
be,  at  least  for  some  time,  a  better  entertainment  to  our 
young  noblemen  than  the  common  scribbles  of  politics  and 
party. 

This  volume  would  have  been  at  least  twice  as  large,  if 
I  had  not  made  bold  to  strike  out  innumerable  passages 
relating  to  the  winds  and  tides,  as  well  as  to  the  variations 
and  bearings   in  the   several  voyages,  together  with  the 


52        THE  PUBLISHER  TO  THE  READER. 

minute  descriptions  of  the  management  of  the  ship  in 
storms,  in  the  style  of  sailors ;  likewise  the  account  of  longi- 
tudes and  latitudes;  wherein  I  have  reason  to  apprehend 
that  Mr.  Gulliver  may  be  a  little  dissatisfied:  but  I  was  re- 
solved to  fit  the  work  as  much  as  possible  to  the  general 
capacity  of  readers.  However,  if  my  own  ignorance  in  sea 
affairs  shall  have  led  me  to  commit  some  mistakes,  I  alone 
am  ansv/erable  for  them;  and  if  any  traveler  has  a  curiosity 
to  see  the  whole  work  at  large,  as  it  came  from  the  hands  of 
the  author,  I  will  be  ready  to  gratify  him. 

As  for  any  further  particulars  relating  to  the  author,  the 
reader  will  receive  satisfaction  from  the  first  page  of  the 
book. 

Richard  Sympsofi. 


A  LETTER 

FROM 


Captain  Gulliver  to  liis  Consin  Sympsoo. 


WRITTEN   IN   THE   YEAR   1727. 


I  hope  you  will  be  ready  to  own  publicly,  whenever  you 
shall  be  called  to  it,  that  by  your  great  and  frequent  urg- 
ency, you  prevailed  on  me  to  publish  a  very  loose  and  un- 
correct  account  of  my  travels,  with  directions  to  hire  some 
young  gentleman  of  either  university  to  put  them  in  order, 
and  correct  the  style,  as  my  cousin  Dampier  did  by  my  ad- 
vice, in  his  book  called  ''A  Voyage  Round  the  World." 
But  I  do  not  remember  I  gave  you  power  to  consent  that 
anything  should  be  omitted,  and  much  less  that  anything 
should  be  inserted;  therefore,  as  to  the  latter,  I  do  here 
renounce  everything  of  that  kind,  particularly  a  paragraph 
about  her  majesty  Queen  Anne,  of  most  pious  and  glorious 
memory,  although  I  did  reverence  and  esteem  her  more 
than  any  of  human  species.  But  you,  or  your  inter- 
polator, ought  to  have  considered,  that  as  it  was  not  my 
inclination,  so  it  was  not  decent  to  praise  any  animal  of 
our  composition  before  my  master  Houyhnhnm;  and,  be- 
sides, the  fact  was  altogether  false;  for  to  my  knowledge, 
being  in  England  during  some  part  of  her  majesty's  reign, 
she  did  govern  by  a  chief  minister;  nay,  even  by  two  suc- 
cessively, the  first  whereof  was  the  lord  of  Godolphin,  and 
the  second  the  lord  of  Oxford;  so  that  you  have  made  me 
say  the  thing  that  was  not.  Likewise,  in  the  account  of 
the  academy  of  projectors,  and  several  passages  of  my  dis- 
course to  my  master  Houhyhnhnm,  you  have  either  omitted 
some  material  circumstances,  or  mincfed  or  changed  them 
in  such  a  manner,  that  I  do  hardly  know  my  own  work. 
When  I  formerly  hinted  to  you  something  of  this  in  a  letter, 
you  were  pleased  to  answer,  'That  you  were  afraid  of  giving 
ofifense;  that  people  in  power  were  very  watchful  over  the 
press,  and  apt  not  only  to  interpret,  but  to  punish  everything 


^^  A   LETTER   PROM   GULLIVER 

which  looked  like  an  innuendo  (as  I  think  yon  call  It).  But, 
pray,  how  could  that  which  I  spoke  so  many  years  ago, 
and  at  above  five  thousand  leagues  distance,  in  another 
reign,  be  applied  to  any  of  the  Yahoos  who  now  are  said  to 
govern  the  herd;  especially  at  a  time  when  I  little  thought 
or  feared  the  unhappiness  of  living?  Have  not  I  the  most 
reason  to  complain,  when  I  see  these  very  Yahoos  carried 
by  Houyhnhnms  in  a  vehicle,  as  if  they  were  brutes,  and 
those  the  rational  creatures?  And,  indeed,  to  avoid  so  mon- 
strous and  detestable  a  sight  was  one  principal  motive  of  my 
retirement  hither. 

Thus  much  I  thought  proper  to  tell  you  in  relation  to 
yourself,  and  to  the  trust  I  reposed  in  you. 

I  do,  in  the  next  place,  complain  of  my  own  great  want 
of  judgment,  in  being  prevailed  upon,  by  the  entreaties  and 
false  reasonings  of  you  and  some  others,  very  much  against 
my  own  opinion,  to  suffer  my  Travels  to  be  published.    Pray 
bring  to  your  mind  how  often  I  desired  you  to  consider, 
when  you  insisted  on  the  motive  of  public  good,  that  the 
Yahoos  were  a  species  of  animals  utterly  incapable  of  amend- 
ment by  precepts  or  example;   and  so  it  has  proved;   for, 
instead  of  seeing  a  full  stop  put  to  all  abuses  and  corrup- 
tions, at  least  in  this  little  island,  as  I  had  reason  to  expect; 
behold,  after  six  months'  warning,  I  cannot  learn  that  my 
book  has  produced  one  single  effect  according  to  my  inten- 
tions. I  desired  you  would  let  me  know  by  a  letter  when  the 
party  and  faction  were  extinguished;  judges  learned  and  up- 
right; pleaders  honest  and  modest, with  a  tincture  of  common 
sense,  and  Smithfield  blazing  with  pyramids  of  law  books; 
the  young  nobility's  education  entirely  changed;   the  phy- 
sicians banished;   the  female  Yahoos  abounding  in  virtue, 
honor,  truth,  and  good  sense;   courts  and  levees  of  great 
ministers  thoroughly  weeded  and  swept;    wit,  merit,  and 
learning  rewarded ;  all  disgracers  of  the  press,  in  prose  and 
verse,  condemned  to  eat  nothing  but  their  own  cotton,  and 
quench  their  thirst  with  their  own  ink.    These,  and  a  thou- 
sand other  reformations,  I  firmly  counted  upon  by  your  en- 
couragement;  as,  indeed,  they  were  plainly  deduclble  from 
the  precepts  delivered  in  my  book.    And  It  must  be  owned, 
that  seven  months  were  sufficient  time  to  correct  every  vice 
and  folly  to  which  Yahoos  are  subject,  If  their  natures  had 
been  capable  of  the  least  disposition  to  virtue  or  wisdom. 


TO  HIS  COUSIN  SYMPSON.  55 

Yet,  so  far  have  you  been  from  answering  my  expectation 
in  any  of  your  letters,  that,  on  the  contrary,  you  are  loading 
our  carrier  every  week  with  libels,  and  keys,  and  reflections, 
and  memories,  and  second  parts;  wherein  I  see  myself  ac- 
cused of  reflecting  upon  great  state  folks ;  of  degrading  hu- 
man nature  (for  so  they  have  still  the  confidence  to  style 
it),  and  of  abusing  the  female  sex.  I  find,  likewise,  that  the 
writers  of  those  bundles  are  not  agreed  among  themselves; 
for  some  of  them  will  not  allow  me  to  be  the  author  of  my 
own  Travels,  and  others  make  me  author  of  books  to  which 
I  am  wholly  a  stranger. 

I  find,  likewise,  that  your  printer  has  been  so  careless  as 
to  confound  the  times  and  mistake  the  dates  of  my  several 
voyages  and  returns,  neither  assigning  the  true  year,  nor 
the  true  month,  nor  day  of  the  month,*  and  I  hear  the  orig- 
inal manuscript  is  all  destroyed  since  the  publication  of  my 
book;  neither  have  I  any  copy  left.  However,  I  send  you 
some  corrections  which  you  may  insert  if  ever  there  should 
be  a  second  edition;  and  yet  I  cannot  stand  to  them,  but  shall 
leave  that  matter  to  my  judicious  and  candid  readers  to  ad- 
just it  as  they  please. 

I  hear  some  of  our  sea  Yahoos  find  fault  with  my  sea 
language  as  not  proper  in  many  parts  nor  now  in  use.f 
I  cannot  help  it.  It  was  my  first  voyage,  while  I  was  young, 
I  was  instructed  by  the  oldest  mariners,  and  learned  to  speak 
as  they  did.  But  I  have  since  found  that  the  sea  Yahoos 
are  apt,  like  the  land  ones,  to  become  newfangled  in  their 
words,  which  the  latter  change  every  year;  insomuch  as  I 
remember,  upon  each  return  to  my  own  country,  their  old 
dialect  was  so  altered  that  I  could  hardly  understand  the 
new.  And  I  observe,  when  any  Yahoos  come  from  London, 
out  of  curiosity,  to  visit  me  at  my  house,  we  neither  of  us 

*  That  the  original  copy  of  these  Travels  was  altered  by  the  person 
through  whose  hands  it  was  conveyed  to  the  press  is  a  fact;  but  the 
passag-es  of  which  Mr.  Gulliver  complains  in  this  letter  are  to  be 
found  only  in  the  first  edition;  for  the  Dean,  having  restored  the 
text  wherever  it  had  been  altered,  sent  the  copy  to  the  late  Mr.  Motte 
by  the  hands  of  Mr.  Charles  Ford.  This  copy  has  been  exactly  fol- 
lowed in  every  subsequent  edition,  except  that  printed  in  Ireland  by 
Mr,  Faulkner,  the  editor  of  which,  supposing  the  Dean  to  be  serious 
when  he  mentioned  the  corruption  of  dates,  and  yet  finding  them  un- 
altered, thought  fit  to  alter  them  himself.  There  is,  however,  scarce 
one  of  these  alterations  in  which  he  has  not  committed  a  blunder; 
though  while  he  was  thus  busy  in  defacing-  the  parts  that  were  per- 
fect, he  suffered  the  accidental  blemish  of  others  to  remain.- -Hawks- 
worth. 

t  See  the  account  of  the  storm  at  the  commencement  of  the  second 
voyage, 


56  A  LETTER  FROM   GULLIVER 

are  able  to  deliver  our  conceptions  in  a  manner  intelligible 
to  the  other. 

If  the  censure  of  the  Yahoos  could  in  any  way  affect  me, 
I  should  have  great  reason  to  complain  that  some  of  them 
are  so  bold  as  to  think  my  book  of  Travels  a  mere  fiction 
out  of  mine  own  brain,  and  have  gone  so  far  as  to  drop 
hints  that  the  Houyhnhnms  and  Yahoos  have  no  more  ex- 
istence than  the  inhabitants  of  Utopia. 

Indeed,  I  must  confess  that  as  to  the  people  of  Lilliput, 
Brobdingrag  (for  so  the  word  w^ould  have  been  spelt,  and 
not  erroneously,  Brobdingnag),  and  Laputa,  I  have  never 
yet  heard  of  any  Yahoo  so  presumptuous  as  to  dispute  their 
being  or  the  facts  I  have  related  concerning  them, 
because  the  truth  immediately  strikes  every  reader  with  con- 
viction. And  is  there  less  probability  in  my  account  of  the 
Houyhnhnms  or  Yahoos  when  it  is  manifest  as  to  the  latter, 
there  are  so  many  thousands,  even  in  this  country,  who  only 
differ  from  their  brother  brutes  in  Houyhnhnm-land,  be- 
cause they  use  a  sort  of  jabber  and  do  not  go  naked?  I 
wrote  for  their  amendment  and  not  their  approbation. 
The  united  praise  of  the  whole  race  would  be  of  less  conse- 
quence to  me  than  the  neighing  of  those  tv/o  degenerate 
Houyhnhnms  I  keep  in  my  stable,  because  from  these,  de- 
generate as  they  are,  I  still  improve  in  some  virtues  without 
any  mixture  of  vice. 

Do  these  miserable  animals  presume  to  think  that  I  am.  so 
degenerated  as  to  defend  my  veracity?  Yahoo  as  I  am,  it  is 
well  known  through  all  Houyhnhnm-land,  that,  by  the  in- 
structions and  example  of  my  illustrious  master,  I  was  able, 
in  the  compass  of  two  years  (although  I  confess  with  the 
utmost  difficulty),  to  remove  that  infernal  habit  of  lying, 
shuffling,  deceiving,  and  equivocating,  so  deeply  rooted  in 
the  very  souls  of  all  my  species,  especially  the  Europeans. 

I  have  other  complaints  to  make  upon  this  vexatious  oc- 
casion, but  I  forbear  troubling  myself  or  you  any  further. 
I  must  freely  confess,  that,  since  my  last,  some  corruptions 
of  my  Yahoo  nature  have  revived  in  me,  by  conversing  with 
a  few  of  your  species,  and  particularly  those  of  my  own  fam- 
ily, by  an  unavoidable  necessity,  else  I  should  never  have 
attempted  so  absurd  a  project  as  that  of  reforming  the  Ya- 
hoo race  in  this  kingdom;  but  I  have  now  done  with  all 
such  visionary  schemes  forever 

^pril  2,  1727, 


A  VOYAGE  TO  LILLIPUT.* 


CHAPTER  I 

THE  AUTHOR  GIVES  SOME  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF  AND  FAM- 
ILY—HIS FIRST  INDUCEMENT  TO  TRAVEL— HE  IS  SHIP- 
WRECKED, AND  SV/IMS  FOR  HIS  LIFE— GETS  SAFE  ON 
SHORE  IN  THE  COUNTRY  OF  LILLIPUT— IS  MADE  A  PRIS- 
ONER,  AND  CARRIED   UP  THE   COUNTRY. 

My  father  had  a  small  estate  in  Nottinghamshire;  I  was 
the  third  of  five  sons.  He  sent  me  to  Emanuel  College  in 
Cambridge,  at  fourteen  years  old,  where  I  resided  three 
years,  and  applied  myself  close  to  my  studies,  but  the  charge 
of  maintaining  me,  although  I  had  very  scant  allowance,  be- 
ing too  great  for  a  narrov/  fortune,  I  was  bound  apprentice  to 
Mr.  James  Bates,  an  eminent  surgeon  in  London,  with 
whom  I  continued  four  years ;  and  my  father  now  and  then 
sending  me  small  sums  of  money,  I  laid  them  out  in  learn- 

*  Gulliver's  Travels  were  originally  designed  to  form  part  of  a  sa- 
tire on  the  Abuse  of  Human  Learning,  projected  by  Pope,  Swift,  and 
Arbuthnot.  In  their  joint  publication  the  "Memoirs  of  Martinus  Scrib- 
ierus,"  the  sketch  of  the  work  is  thus  given  by  Pope: 

"It  was  in  the  year  1G69,  that  Martin  set  out  on  his  travels.  Thou 
wilt  certainly  be  very  curious  to  knov/  what  they  were.  It  is  not  yet 
time  to  inform  thee;    but  what  hints  I  am  at  liberty  to  give  I  will. 

"Thou  Shalt  know,  then,  that  in  his  first  voyage  he  was  carried  by 
a  prosperous  storm  to  a  discovery  of  the  ancient  Pygmean  empire. 

"That  in  his  second,  he  was  happily  shipwrecked  on  the  land  of 
the  Giants,  the  most  humane  people  in  the  world. 

"That,  in  his  third,  he  discovered  a  whole  kingdom  of  philosophers, 
who  govern  by  the  mathematics;  with  whose  admirable  scheijies 
and  projects  he  returned  to  benefit  his  own  country;  but  had  the 
misfortune  to  find  them  rejected  by  the  envious  ministers  of  Queen 
Anne,   and  himself  sent  treacherously  away. 

"And  hence  it  is  that  in  his  fourth  voyage  he  discovers  a  vein  of 
melancholy,  proceeding  almost  to  a  disgust  of  his  species;  but  above 
all,  a  mortal  detestation  of  the  whole  flagitious  race  of  ministers,  and 
a  final  resolution  not  to  give  in  any  memorial  to  the  Secretary  of  State, 
in  order  to  subject  the  lands  he  discovered  to  the  crown  of  Great 
Britain. 

"Now,  if  by  these  hints  the  reader  can  help  himself  to  a  farther 
discovery  of  the  nature  and  contents  of  these  travels,  he  is  w^elcome 
to  as  much  light  as  they  afford  him;  I  am  obliged  by  all  the  ties  of 
honor  not  to  speak  more  openly." 

Pope,  however,  appears  to  have  been  displeased  at  the  substitution 
of  Lemuel  Gulliver  for  Martinus  Scriblerus;  he  adds  rather  ill-na- 
turedly; 


58  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.     . 

ing  navigation,  and  other  parts  of  the  mathematics,  useful 
to  those  who  intend  to  travel,  as  I  always  believed  it  would 
be,  some  time  or  other,  my  fortune  to  do.  W^hen  I  left  Mr. 
Bates,  I  went  down  to  my  father;  where,  by  the  assistance 
of  him  and  my  uncle  John,  and  some  other  relations,  I  got 
forty  pounds,  and  a  promise  of  thirty  pounds  a  year  to  main- 
tain me  at  Leyden;  there  I  studied  physic  tv/o  years  and 
seven  months,  knowing  it  would  be  useful  to  me  in  long 
voyages.  Soon  after  my  return  from  Leyden,  I  was  recom- 
mended by  my  good  master,  Mr.  Bates,  to  be  surgeon  to  the 
Swallow,  Captain  Abraham  Pannell,  commander;  with 
whom  I  continued  three  years  and  a  half,  making  a  voyage 
or  two  into  the  Levant,  and  some  other  parts.     When  I 

"But  if  any  man  shall  see  such  very  extraordinary  voyages,  which 
manifest  the  most  distinguishing  marks  of  a  philosopher,  a  politi- 
cian, and  a  legislator,  and  can  imagine  them  to  belong  to  a  surgeon 
of  a  ship,  or  captain  of  a  merchantman,  let  him  remain  in  his  igno- 
rance." ^  ^, 

Swift  himself  thus  announces  the  approaching  appearance  of  the 
work  in  a  letter  to  Pope  dated  Dublin,  September  29th,  1725:  "I  have 
employed  my  time  (besides  ditching)  in  finishing,  correcting,  amending, 
and  transcribing  my  Travels,  In  four  parts  complete,  newly  aug- 
mented, and  intended  for  the  press  when  the  world  shall  deserve 
them,  or  rather  when  a  printer  shall  be  found  bold  enough  to  venture 
his  ears." 

The  existence  of  a  nation  of  pigmies  was  firmly  believed  in  ancient 
times.  The  diminutive  race  is  mentioned  by  Herodotus,  Aristotle, 
Pliny,  and  even  by  some  of  the  earlier  modern  travelers.  The  following 
account  is  from  Ctesias,  who  was  contemporary  with  Xenophon:  "In 
the  middle  of  India  there  are  black  men  called  pigmies,  using  the  same 
language  as  the  other  Indians;  they  are  very  little,  the  tallest  of  them 
being  but  two  cubits,  and  most  of  them  but  a  cubit  and  a  half  high. 
They  have  very  long  hair,  reaching  dov/n  to  their  knees  and  lower; 
and  a  beard  larger  than  any  man's.  After  their  beards  are  grown  long 
they  wear  no  clothes,  but  the  hair  of  their  head  falls  behind,  a  great 
deal  below  their  hams,  and  that  of  their  beard  before  comes  dov/n  to 
their  feet;  then  laying  their  hair  thick  all  about  their  body,  they 
afterwards  gird  themselves,  making  use  of  their  hair  for  clothes. 
*  *  *  They  are  flat-nosed  and  ill-favored.  Their  sheep  are  like 
lambs,  and  their  oxen  and  asses  scarce  as  big  as  rams,  and  their 
horses  and  mules,  and  all  their  other  cattle,  not  bigger.  Three 
thousand  of  these  pigmies  are  household  troops  in  the  service  of  the 
king  of  India.  They  are  good  archers.  They  are  very  just,  and  use 
the  same  laws  as  the  Indians  do." 

Some  of  the  old  commentators  on  the  Bible  translated  the  word 
Gammachia,  pigmies,  and  it  is  so  rendered  in  the  Vulgate.  "This  cir- 
cumstance," as  Sir  Thomas  Browne  remarks,  in  his  "Enquiries  into 
Vulgar  Errors,"  "tended  greatly  to  confirm  the  popular  belief  in  the 
existence  of  this  fabulous  race."  Viewed  as  a  mere  fiction,  the 
account  of  Lilliput  did  not  appear  so  extravagant  in  Swift's  days  as 
it  does  in  ours.  Every  one  has  heard  the  story  of  the  Irish  bishop. 
a  very  learned  man,  who,  having  read  the  voyage  to  Lilliput,  said 
that  "there  were  some  things  in  it  which  he  could  not  believe." 

After  the  publication  of  the  Travels,  Swift  was  much  amused  to 
find  that  Gulliver  was  a  real  name,  and  that  a  Mr.  Jonathan  Gulliver 
was  a  member  of  the  House  of  Representatives  in  Boston.  An 
American  writer  adds  that  this  Jonathan  deemed  it  necessary  to 
disclaim  publicly  all  connection  with  Lemuel, 


GULLlVER*g  TKAVBLI^.  59 

came  back  I  resolved  to  settle  in  London;  to  which  Mr. 
Bates,  my  master,  encouraged  me,  and  by  him  I  was  recom- 
mended to  several  patients.  I  took  part  of  a  small  house  in 
the  Old  Jewry;  and  being  advised  to  alter  my  condition,  I 
married  Miss  Mary  Burton,  second  daughter  to  Mr.  Ed- 
mund Burton,  hosier,  in  Newgate  Street,  with  whom  I  re- 
ceived four  hundred  pounds  for  a  portion."^' 

But  my  good  master  Bates  dying  two  years  after,  and  I 
having  few  friends,  my  business  began  to  fail;  for  my  con- 
science would  not  suffer  me  to  imitate  the  bad  practice  of 
too  many  among  my  brethren.  Having,  therefore,  consulted 
v/ith  my  wife  and  some  of  my  acquaintance,  I  determined 
to  go  again  to  sea.  I  was  surgeon  successively  in  tw^o  ships, 
and  made  several  voyages,  for  six  years,  to  the  East  and 
West  Indies,  by  which  I  got  some  addition  to  my  fortune. 
My  hours  of  leisure  I  spent  in  reading  the  best  authors,  an- 
cient and  modern,  being  always  provided  with  a  good  num- 
ber of  books;  and  when  I  was  ashore,  in  observing  the  man- 
ners and  dispositions  of  the  people,  as  w^ell  as  learning  their 
language,  wherein  I  had  a  great  facility,  by  the  strength  of 
my  memor}^ 

The  last  of  these  voyages  not  proving  very  fortunate,  I 
grew  weary  of  the  sea,  and  intended  to  stay  at  home  with 
my  v/ife  and  family.  I  removed  from  the  Old  Jewry  to  Fet- 
ter Lane,  and  from  thence  to  Wapping,  hoping  to  get  busi- 
ness among  the  sailors,  but  it  would  not  turn  to  account. 
After  three  years'  expectation  that  things  would  mend,  I 

*  Swift  and  Defoe  are  unrivalled  in  the  art  of  introducing  trifling 
and  minute  circumstances  which  give  an  air  of  reality  to  their 
fictitious  narratives.  In  Gulliver's  early  history,  as  in  that  of  Crusoe, 
persons  are  casually  mentioned  of  whom  we  hear  nothing  more. 
Gulliver's  uncle,  like  Crusoe's  brother,  only  comes  on  the  stage  to 
disappea,r  again  forever.  This  is  quire  contrary  to  the  usual  course 
of  romance  v/riters,  who  rarely  introduce  a  personage  or  an  incident 
that  does  not  in  some  way  aid  the  development  of  the  plot.  Sir 
Walter  Scott  suggests  that  Swift  probably  imitated  Defoe  in  this 
particular,  but  the  ideal  character  of  Gulliver  naturally  led  the  Dean 
to  introduce  these  petty  particulars.  He  designed  to  portray  Gulliver 
as  a  kind  of  second  Dampier,  uniting  the  hom-ely  sense  and  prejudices 
of  a  true-born  Englishman  to  the  acquired  wisdom  of  a  life  of  ad- 
ventures. There  is  a  sailor's  bluntness  and  frankness  in  everything 
that  Gulliver  tells  us  of  himself  and  family;  the  occasional  minuteness 
and  even  coarseness  of  the  personal  details  are  faithfully  taken  from 
the  journals  of  the  early  English  voyagers,  whose  accounts  of  their 
discoveries  are  strangely  blended  with  the  most  trifling  particulars 
respecting  their  food,  clothing,  etc.  The  character  of  Gulliver  is  that 
of  a  thorough  English  sailor;  his  education  at  Leyden  did  not  raise 
him  too  high  above  the  rude  tars  with  whom  he  mingled,  and  v/e 
always  find  his  learning  brought  forward  v/ith  difficulty  and  by  an 
effort,  v/hile  his  mother-wit  and  sailor's  courage  are  present  in  every 
emergency. 


60  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

accepted  an  advantageous  offer  from  Captain  William 
Prichard,  master  of  the  Antelope,  who  was  making  a  voy- 
age to  the  South  Sea.  We  set  sail  from  Bristol,  May  4, 
1699,  ^^d  o^r  voyage  at  first  was  very  prosperous. 

It  would  not  be  proper,  for  some  reasons,  to  trouble  the 
reader  with  the  particulars  of  our  adventures  in  those  seas; 
let  it  suffice  to  inform  him,  that  in  our  passage  from  thence 
to  the  East  Indies,  we  were  driven  by  a  violent  storm  to  the 
northwest  of  Van  Dieman's  Land.'''  By  an  observation,  we 
found  ourselves  in  the  latitude  of  30  degrees  2  minutes  south. 
Twelve  of  our  crew  were  dead  by  immoderate  labor  and  ill 
food:  the  rest  were  in  a  very  weak  condition.  On  the  5th  of 
November,  which  was  the  beginning  of  the  summer  in  those 
parts,  the  weather  being  very  hazy,  the  seamen  spied  a  rock 
within  half  a  cable's  length  of  the  ship,  but  the  wind  was  so 
strong  that  we  were  driven  directly  upon  it,  and  immediately 
split.  Six  of  the  crew,  of  whom  I  was  one,  having  let  down 
the  boat  into  the  sea,  made  a  shift  to  get  clear  of  the  ship 
and  the  rock.  We  rowed,  by  my  computation, .  about  three 
ieagues,  till  we  were  able  to  work  no  longer,  being  already 
spent  with  labor  while  we  were  in  the  ship.  We  therefore 
trusted  ourselves  to  the  mercy  of  the  waves,  and  in  about 
half  an  hour  the  boat  was  overset  by  a  sudden  flurry  from 
the  north.  What  became  of  my  companions  in  the  boat,  as 
of  those  v/ho  escaped  on  the  rock,  or  were  left  in  the  vessel, 
I  cannot  tell,  but  conclude  they  were  all  lost.  For  my  part, 
I  swam  as  fortune  directed  me,  and  was  pushed  forward  by 
wind  and  tide.  I  often  let  my  legs  drop,  but  could  feel  no 
bottom,  but  when  I  was  almost  gone,  and  able  to  struggle  no 
longer,  I  found  myself  within  my  depth;  and  by  this  time 
the  storm  was  much  abated.  The  declivity  was  so  small, 
that  I  walked  near  a  mile  before  I  got  to  the  shore,  which  I 
conjectured  was  about  eight  o'clock  in  the  evening.  I  then 
advanced  forward  near  half  a  mile,  but  could  not  discover 
any  sign  of  houses  or  inhabitants ;  at  least  I  was  in  so  weak 
a  condition  that  I  did  not  observe  them.  I  was  extremely 
tired,  and  that,  and  the  heat  of  the  weather,  and  about  half 
a  pint  of  brandy  that  I  drank  as  I  left  the  ship,  I  found  my- 

*  This  island  was  first  discovered  A.  D.  1633,  by  Abel  Janson  Tasman, 
a  Dutch  navigator, who  called  it  Van  Diemen's  Land,  after  the  governor 
of  Batavia,  by  whom  he  had  been  sent  to  examine  the  Southern 
Ocean.  Tasman' s  narrative  was  very  loose  and  inaccurate  so  that 
Swift  might  people  the  seas  which  that  navigator  traversed  with 
any  creatures  he  pleased. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  61 

self  much  inclined  to  sleep.  I  lay  down  on  the  grass,  which 
was  very  short  and  soft,  where  I  slept  sounder  than  ever  I 
remember  to  have  done  in  my  life,  and,  as  I  reckoned,  about 
nine  hours;  for  v/hen  I  awakened^  it  was  just  dayHght.  I 
attempted  to  rise,  but  was  not  able  to  stir;  for,  as  I  happened 
to  lie  on  my  back,  I  found  my  arms  and  legs  were  strongly 
fastened  on  each  side  to  the  ground;  and  my  hair,  which 
was  long  and  thick,  tied  down  in  the  same  manner.  I  like- 
vvise  felt  several  slender  ligatures  across  my  body,  from  my 
arm-pits  to  my  thighs.  I  could  only  look  upwards;  the  sun 
began  to  grow  hot,  and  the  light  offended  my  eyes.  I  heard 
a  confused  noise  about  me;  but  in  the  posture  I  lay,  could 
see  nothing  except  the  sky.  In  a  little  time,  I  felt  something 
alive  moving  on  my  left  leg,  which  advancing  gently  forward 
over  my  breast,  came  almost  up  to  my  chin;  when,  bending 
my  eyes  downward  as  much  as  I  could,  I  perceived  it  to  be 
a  human  creature  not  six  inrh(;^s  high,  with  bow  and  an 
arrow  in  his  hands  and  a  quiver  at  his  back.*  In  the  mean- 
time I  felt  at  least  forty  more  of  the  same  kind  (as  I  conjec- 
tured) following  the  first.  I  was  in  the  utmost  astonishment, 
and  roared  so  loud  that  they  all  ran  back  in  fright,  and  some 
of  them,  as  I  was  afterwards  told,  were  hurt  by  the  falls  they 
got  by  leaping  from  my  sides  upon  the  ground.  However, 
they  soon  returned,  and  one  of  them  who  ventured  so  far  as 
to  get  a  full  sight  of  my  face,  lifting  up  his  hands  and  eyes 
by-way  of  admiration,  cried  out  in  a  shrill  but  distinct  voice, 
Hekinah  degul!  The  others  repeated  the  same  words  sev- 
eral times,  but  I  then  knew  not  what  it  meant. 

I  lay  all  this  while,  as  the  reader  may  believe,  in  great  un- 
easiness; at  length,  struggling  to  get  loose,  I  had  the  fortune 
to  break  the  strings,  and  Vv^rench  out  the  pegs  that  fastened 
my  left  arm  to  the  ground,  for,  by  lifting  it  up  to  my  face,  I 
discovered  the  methods  they  had  taken  to  bind  me,  and  at 
the  same  time  with  a  violent  pull,  which  gave  me  excessive 

*  This  incident  is  taken  from  Philostratus.  (Icon.  lib.  ii.  p.  817.) 
"The  pigmies,"'  he  says,  "were  anxious  to  revenge  the  death  of 
Antaeus,  and  having  found  Hercules  napping  in  Libya,  they  mustered 
up  all  their  forces  against  him.  One  phalanx  assaulted  his  left  hand, 
but  against  his  right  hand,  that  being  the  stronger,  two  phalanxes 
were  appointed.  The  ai^chers  and  slingers  besieged  his  feet,  admiring 
the  hugeness  of  his  thighs;  but  against  his  head,  as  the  arsenal, 
they  raised  batteries,  the  king  himself  taking  his  post  there.  They 
set  fire  to  his  hair,  put  reaping-hooks  in  his  eyes:  and  that  he  might 
not  breathe,  fixed  doors  to  his  mouth  and  nostrils.  But  all  the 
execution  that  they  could  do  was  only  to  awaken  him;  and  when 
this  was  done,  deriding  their  folly,  he  gathered  them  all  up  into  his 
lion's  skin  and  carried  them  (Philostratus  thinks)  to  Euristhenes." 


62  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

pain,  I  a  little  loosened  the  strings  that  tied  down  my  hair  on 
the  left  side,  so  that  I  was  just  able  to  turn  my  head  about 
two  inches.  But  the  creatures  ran  off  a  second  time,  before 
I  could  seize  them ;  whereupon  there  was  a  great  shout  in  a 
very  shrill  accent,  and  after  it  had  ceased  I  heard  one  of  them 
cry  aloud,  Tolgo  phonac ;  when  in  an  instant  I  felt  above  a 
hundred  arrows  discharged  on  my  left  hand,  which  pricked 
me  like  so  many  needles;  and  besides  they  shot  another 
flight  into  the  air,  as  we  do  bombs  in  Europe,  whereof  many, 
I  suppose,  fell  on  my  body  (though  I  felt  them  not)  and  some 
on  my  face,  which  I  immediately  covered  with  my  left  hand. 
When  this  shower  of  arrows  w^as  over,  I  fell  groaning  with 
grief  and  pain,  and  then  striving  again  to  get  loose,  they  dis- 
charged another  volley  larger  than  the  first,  and  some  of 
them  attempted  with  spears  to  stick  me  in  the  sides;  but 
by  good  luck  I  had  on  me  a  buff  jerkin,  which  they  could  not 
pierce.  I  thought  it  the  most  prudent  method  to  lie  still, 
and  my  design  was  to  continue  so  till  night,  when,  my  left 
hand  being  already  loose,  I  could  easily  free  myself:  and  as 
for  the  inhabitants,  I  had  reason  to  believe  I  might  be  a 
match  for  the  greatest  army  they  could  bring  against  me, 
if  they  were  all  of  the  same  size  with  him  that  I  saw.  But 
fortune  disposed  otherwise  of  me.  When  the  people  ob- 
served I  was  quiet,  they  discharged  no  more  arrows;  but, 
by  the  noise  I  heard,  I  knew  their  numbers  increased;  and 
about  four  yards  from  me,  over  against  my  right  ear,  I  heard 
a  knocking  for  above  an  hour,  like  that  of  people  at  work ; 
when  turning  my  head  that  way,  as  well  as  the  pegs  and 
strings  would  permit  me,  I  saw  a  stage  erected  about  a  foot 
and  a  half  from  the  ground,  capable  of  holding  four  of  the 
inhabitants,  with  two  or  three  ladders  to  mount  it:  from 
whence  one  of  them,  who  seemed  to  be  a  person  of  quality, 
m^ade  me  a  long  speech,  whereof  I  understood  not  a  syl- 
lable."^  But  I  should  have  mentioned,  that  before  the  prin- 
cipal person  began  his  oration,  he  cried  out  three  times, 

*  Moore  has  made  a  very  amusing-  use  of  this  incident,  in  an  ode 
to  Sir  Hudson  Lowe,  which  is  too  g-ood  to  be  passed  over  with  a 
mere  reference. 

Sir  Hudson  Lowe,  Sir  Hudson  Low, 
(By  name,   and  ah!  by  nature  so), 

As  thou  art  fond  of  persecutions; 
Perhaps  thou'st  read,  or  heard  repeated, 
How  Captain  Gulliver  was  treated, 

When  thrown  among  the  Lilliputians, 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  .  63 

Langro  dehul  san  (these  words  and  former  were  afterwards 
repeated  and  explained  to  me).  V^^hereupon,  immediately 
about  fifty  of  the  inhabitants  came  and  cut  the  string 
that  fastened  the  left  side  of  my  head,  which  gave  me  the 
liberty  of  turning  it  to  the  right,  and  of  observing  the  person 
and  gesture  of  him  that  was  to  speak.  He  appeared  to  be  of 
middle  age,  and  taller  than  any  of  the  other  three  who  at- 
tended him,  v/hereoTone  was  a  page  that  held  up  his  train, 
and  seemed  to  be  somewhat  longer  than  my  middle  finger; 
the  other  two  stood  one  on  each  side  to  support  him.  He  \  • 
acted  every  part  of  an  orator,  and  I  could  observe  many  ^^^  -  . 
periods  of  threatenings,  and  other  promises,  pity,  and  V\n^  d!^^"^*^ 
ness.*  I  answered  in  a  few  words,  but  in  the  most  submis-^^^ 
sive  manner,  Hfting  up  my  left  hand  and  both  my  eyes  to  the 
sun,  as  calling  him  for  a  witness;  and  being  almost  famished 
with  hunger,  not  having  eaten  a  morsel  for  some  hours  be- 
fore I  left  the  ship,  I  found  the  demands  of  nature  so  strong 
upon  me  that  I  could  not  forbear  showing  my  impatience 
(perhaps  against  the  strict  rules  of  decency),  by  putting  my 
finger  frequently  to  my  mouth,  to  signify  that  I  wanted  food. 
The  hurgo  (for  so  they  call  a  great  lord,  as  I  afterwards 

They  tied  him  down— these  little  men  did— 
And  having-  valiantly  ascended 

Upon   the   mighty  man's  protuberance, 
They  did  so  strut!      Upon  my  soul, 
It  must  have  been  extremely  droll 

To  see  their  pigmy  pride's  exuberance! 

And  how  the  doughty  manikins 
Amused   themselves    with    sticking  pins 

And  needles  in  the  great  man's  breeches: 
And  how  some  very  little  things 
That  pass'd  for  lords,  on  scaffoldings 

Got  up  and  worried  him  with  speeches, 

Alas!  alas!  that  it  should  happen. 

To  mighty  men  to  be  caught  napping; 

Though  different  to  these  persecutions; 
For  Gulliver  there  took  the  nap 
While  here,   the  Nap — ah.  sad  mishap!— 

Is  taken  by  the  Lilliputians. 

*  In  the  excitement  that  followed  the  Revolution,  public  speaking 
became  more  common  in  England  than  it  had  ever  been  before,  and 
several  of  the  Whig  lords  rendered  efficient  service  to  the  cause  of 
the  Hanoverian  succession,  by  their  speeches  at  county  meetings. 
Swift  despised  and  hated  these  itinerant  orators,  to  whose  exertions 
the  overthrow  of  his  party  v/as  mainly  owing,  and  it  is  probable  that 
in  this  description  he  alludes  to  some  particular  leader  of  the  Whig 
party  who  was  remarkable  for  his  addresses  to  popular  assemblies. 
Sir  Robert  Walpole  after  his  expulsion  from  Parliament  was  an  active 
agitator  among  the  Whigs,  and  was  not  less  formidable  to  Harley 
and  Bolingbroke,  outside  the  walls  of  the  House  of  Commons,  than 
he  had  been  as  a  leader  of  parliamentary  opposition. 


64  ■  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

learned)  understood  me  very  well.  He  descended  from  the 
stage,  and  commanded  that  several  ladders  should  be  ap- 
plied to  my  sides,  on  which  about  a  hundred  of  the  inhabi- 
tants mounted,  and  walked  towards  my  mouth,  laden  with 
baskets  full  of  meat,  which  had  been  provided  and  sent  thith- 
er by  the  king's  orders,  upon  the  first  intelligence  he  received 
of  me.  I  observed  there  was  the  flesh  of  several  animals,  but 
could  not  distinguish  them  by  the  taste.  There  were  shoul- 
ders, legs  and  loins,  shaped  like  those  of  mutton,  and  very 
well  dressed^  but  smaller  than  the  wings  of  a  lark.  I  ate 
them  by  two  or  three  at  a  mouth  full,  and  took  three  loaves 
at  a  time  about  the  bigness  of  musket-balls.  They  supplied 
me  as  fast  as  they  could,  shov/ing  a  thousand  marks  of  won- 
der and  astonishment  at  my  bulk  and  appetite. 

I  then  made  another  sign  that  I  wanted  drink.     They 

found  by  my  eating  that  a  small  quantity  would  not  suffice 

me;  and  being  a  most  ingenious  people^  they  slung  up,  with 

great  dexterity,  one  of  their  largest  hogsheads,  then  rolled 

it  towards  my  hand,  and  beat  out  the  top ;   I  drank  it  ofif  at 

a  draught,  which  I  might  well  do,  for  it  did  not  hold  half 

a  pint,  and  tasted  like  a  small  wine  of  Burgundy,  but  much 

v^  more  delicious.    They  brought  me  a  second  hogshead,  which 

(X  I  drank  in  the  same  manner,  and  made  signs  for  more:  but 

iS.  they  had  none  to  give  me.    When  I  had  performed  these 

S  wonders  they  shouted  for  joy,  and  danced  upon  my  breast, 

y  repeating  several  times  as  they  did  at  first,  Hekinah  degul. 

L,  They  made  me  a  sign  that  I  should  throw  down  the  two 

hogsheads,  but  first  warning  the  people  below  to  stand  out 

Sof  the  way,  crying  aloud,  Borach  mevolah:  and  when  they 
saw  the  vessels  in  the  air  there  was  a  universal  shout  of 
Hekinah  degul.  I  confess  I  was  often  tempted,  while  they 
were  passing  backwards  and  forwards  on  my  body,  to  seize 
iforty  or  fifty  of  the  first  that  came  in  my  reach  and  dash 
jthem  against  the  ground.  But  the  remembrance  of  what  I 
had  felt,  which  probably  might  not  be  the  worst  they  could 
do,  and  the  promise  of  honor  I  made  to  them — for  so  I 
interpreted  my  submissive  behavior — soon  drove  out  these 
imaginations.  Besides,  I  now  considered  myself  as  bound 
by  the  laws  of  hospitality,  to  a  people  who  had  treated  me 
with  so  much  expense  and  magnificence.  However,  in  my 
thoughts  I  could  not  sufficiently  wonder  at  the  intrepidity  of 
these  diminutive  mortals,  who  durst  venture  to  mount  and 


^ 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  65 

walk  upon  my  body  while  one  of  my  hands  was  at  liberty, 
without  trembling  at  the  very  sight  of  so  prodigious  a 
creature  as  I  must  appear  to  thern.  After  some  time,  when 
they  observed  that  I  made  no  more  demands  for  meat,  there 
appeared  before  me  a  person  of  high  rank  from  his  imperial 
majesty.  His  excellency,  having  mounted'  on  the  small  of 
my  right  leg,  advanced  forwards  up  to  my  face,  with  about 
a  dozen  of  his  retinue,  and  producing  his  credentials  under 
the  signet  royal,  which  he  applied  close  to  my  eyes,  spoke 
about  ten  minutes  without  any  signs  of  anger,  but  with 
a  kind  of  determinate  resolution:  often  pointing  forwards, 
which,  as  I  afterwards  found,  was  towards  the  capital  city, 
about  half  a  mile  distant,  whither  it  was  agreed  by  his 
majesty  in  council  that  I  must  be  conveyed.  I  answered 
in  few  words,  but  to  no  purpose,  and  made  a  sign  wath  my 
hand  that  was  loose,  putting  it  to  the  other  (but  over  his 
excellency's  head  for  fear  of  hurting  him  or  his  train), 
and  then  to  my  own  head  and  body,  to  signify  that  I  desired 
my  liberty. 

It  appeared  that  he  understood  me  well  enough,  for  he 
shook  his  head  by  way  of  disapprobation,  and  held  his 
hands  in  a  posture  to  show  that  I  must  be  carried  as  a 
prisoner.  However,  he  made  other  signs,  to  let  me  under- 
stand that  I  should  have  meat  and  drink  enough,  and  very 
good  treatment.  Wherelipori  I  Onct"  lllOie  thought  of 
TTttempting  to  Ipreak  my  bonds;  but  again,  when  I  felt  the 
smart  of  their  arrows  upon  my  face  and  hands,  which 
were  all  in  blisters,  and  many  of  the  darts  still  sticking 
in  them,  and  observing  likewise  that  the  number  of  my 
enemies  increased,  I  gave  them  tokens  to  let  them  know 
that  they  might  do  with  me  what  they  pleased.  Upon 
this  the  hurgo  and  his  train  withdrew^  with  much  civility 
and  cheerful  countenances.  Soon  after  I  heard  a  general 
shout,  with  frequent  repetitions  of  the  words,  peplom  selan ; 
and  I  felt  great  numbers  of  people  on  my  left  side  relaxing 
the  cords  to  such  a  degree  that  I  was  able  to  turn  upon 
my  right,  and  to  ease  myself  with  making  water;  which 
I  very  plentifully  did,  to  the  great  astonishment  of  the 
people ;  who,  conjecturing  by  my  motion  what  I  was  going 
to  do,  Immediately  opened  to  the  right  and  left  on  that  side, 
to  avoid  the  torrent,  which  fell  with  such  noise  and  violence 
from  me.  But,  before  this,  they  had  daubed  my  face  and 
5 


66  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

both  my  hands  with  a  sort  of  ointment,  very  pleasant  to  the 
smell,  which,  in  a  few  minutes,  removed  all  the  smart  of 
their  arrows.  These  circumstances,  added  to  the  refresh- 
ment I  had  received  by  their  victuals  and  drink,  which 
were  very  nourishing,  disposed  me  to  sleep.  I  slept  about 
eight  hours,  as  I  was  afterwards  assured;  and  it  was  no 
wonder,  for  the  physicians,  by  the  emperor's  order,  had 
mingled  a  sleepy  potion  in  the  hogsheads  of  wine.  \ 

It  seems  that  upon  the  first  moment  I  was  discovered    ^ 
sleeping  on  the  ground,  after  my  landing,  the  emperor  had    ^ 
early  notice  of  it  by  an  express;  and  determined  in  council  L 
that  I  should  be  tied  in  the  manner  I  have  related  (which  ( 
was  done  in  the  night  while  I  slept),  that  plenty  meat  and    -y 
drink  should  be  sent  me,  and  a  machine  prepared  to  carry     ^ 
me  to  the  capital  city.    This  resolution  perhaps  may  appear  ' 
very  bold  and  dangerous,  and  I  am  confident  would  not  be 
imitated  by  any  prince  in  Europe  on  the  like  occasion. 
However,  in  my  opinion,  it  was  extremely  prudent,  as  well 
as  generous;    for  supposing  these  people  had  endeavored 
to  kill  me  with  their  spears  and  arrows  while  I  was  asleep 
I   should   certainly  have   awaked  with  the  first  sense   of 
smart,   which   might   have   so   far   aroused   my   rage   and 
strength  as  to  have  enabled  me  to  break  the  strings  where- 
with I  was  tied;  after  which,  as  they  were  not  able  to  make  I 
resistance,  so  they  could  expect  no  mercy,  kd  M-  Di^D!      *-^ 

These  people  ^rp  irjoot  pvrpHpnt  mathematicians  and 
arrived  to  a  great  perfection  in  mechanics  by  ihe"  coun- 
tenance and  encouragement  of  the  emperor,  who  is  a  re- 
nowned patron  of  learning.  This  prince  has  several  ma- 
chines fixed  on  Vv^heels,  for  the  carriage  of  trees  and  other 
great  weights.  He  often  builds  his  largest  men  of  war, 
whereof  some  are  nine  feet  long,  in  the  woods  where  the 
timber  grows,  and  has  them  carried  on  these  engines  three 
or  four  hundred  yards  to  the  sea.  Five  hundred  carpenters 
and  engineers  were  immediately  set  at  work  to  prepare  the 
greatest  engine  they  had.  It  was  a  frame  of  wood  raised 
three  inches  from  the  ground,  s.p:£iLJeeMoiig:_and_four 
wide,  hiovmg  upon  twenty-two  wheels.  The  shout  I  heard 
was  upon  the  arrival*  of  this  engine,  which,  it  seems,  set 
out  in  four  hours  after  my  landing.  It  was  brought  paral- 
lel to  me,  as  I  lay.  But  the  principal  difficulty  was  to  raise 
and  place  me  in  this  vehicle.    Eighty  poles,  each  one  foot 


0 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  67 

high,  were  erected  for  this  purpose,  and  very  strong  cords, 
of  the  bigness  of  packthread,  were  fastened  by  hooks  to 
many  bandages,  which  the  workmen  had  girt  round  my 
neck,  my  hands,  my  body,  and  my  legs.  Nine  hundred  of 
the  strongest  men  were  employed  to  draw  up'  these  "cords, 
by  many  pulleys  fastened  on  the  poles;  and  thus,  in  less 
than  three  hours,  I  was  raised  and  slung  into  the  engine,  and 
there  tied  fast*  All  this  I  was  told;  for,  while  the  opera- 
tion was  performing  I  lay  in  a  profound  sleep,  by  the  force 
of  that  soporiferous  medicine  infused  into  my  liquor.  Fif- 
teen hundred  of  the  emperor's  largest  horses,  each  about 
four  inches  and  a  half  high,  were  employed  to  draw  me 
toward  the  metropolis,  which,  as  I  said,  was  half  a  mile 
distant. 

About  four  hours  after  we  began  our  journey  I  awaked 
by  a  very  ridiculous  accident;  for  the  carriage  being  stopped 
awhile,  to  adjust  something  that  was  out  of  order,  two  or 
three  of  the  young  natives  had  the  curiosity  to  see  how  I 
looked  when  I  was  asleep;  they  climbed  up  into  the  engine, 
and,  advancing  very  softly  to  my  face,  one  of  them,  an 
officer  in  the  guards,  put  the  sharp  end  of  his  half-pike  a 
good  way  up  into  my  left  nostril,  which  tickled  my  nose  like 
a  straw,  and  made  me  sneeze  violently;  whereupon  they 
stole  oft  unperceived,  and  it  was  three  weeks  before  I  knew 
the  cause  of  my  avv^aking  so  suddenly.  We  made  a  long 
march  the  remaining  part  of  the  day,  and  rested  at  night 
with  five  hundred  guards  on  each  side  of  me,  half  with 
torches,  and  half  with  bows  and  arrows,  ready  to  shoot  me 
if  I  should  offer  to  stir.  The  next  morning  at  sunrise  we 
continued  our  march,  and  arrived  within  two  hundred  yards 
of  the  city  gates  about  noon.  The  emperor  and  all  his 
court  came  out  to  meet  us;  but  his  great  officers  would 
by  no  means  suffer  his  majesty  to  endanger  his  person 
by  m.ounting  on  my  body. 

*  The  caution  of  the  Lilliputian  courtiers  is  probably  designed  to 
ridicule  the  overacted  solicitude  by  which  the  ministers  of  George  L 
affected  to  protect  the  King-  from  the  plots  of  the  Jacobites.  The 
Tories  who  hastened  to  greet  the  King  on  his  landing  were  either 
refused  admittance  or  harshly  dismissed.  "Lord  Harcourt,  who 
arrived  with  a  patent  for  the  peerage  of  the  Prince  of  Wales,  was 
abruptly  dismissed;  the  Duke  of  Ormond,  who  was  hastening  to 
Greenwich,  was  forbidden  to  appear  in  the  royal  presence;  and  Lord 
Oxford,  who  had  shown  more  joy  in  proclaiming  the  King  than  his 
friends  thought  respectful  towards  the  late  Queen,  was  barely  admitted 
in  the  crowd  to  kiss  the  King's  hfind."— Lord  F.  Russell's  Affairs  of 
Hluvope.  vol.  1,  p.  3O84 


68  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

At  the  place  where  the  carriage  stopped  there  stood  an 
ancient  temple,  esteemed  to  be  the  largest  in  the  whole  king- 
dom, which,  having  been  polluted  some  years  before  by  an 
unnatural  murder,  was  according  to  the  zeal  of  those  people 
looked  upon  as  profane,  and  therefore  had  been  applied  to 
common  use,  and  all  the  ornaments  and  furniture  carried 
away.  In  this  edifice  it  was  determined  I  should  lodge. 
The  great  gate  fronting  to  the  north  was  about  four  feet 
high  and  almost  two  feet  wide,  through  which  I  could 
easily  creep.  On  each  side  of  the  gate  was  a  small 
Vvindow,  not  above  six  inches  from  the  ground;  into  that 
on  the  left  side  the  king's  smith  conveyed  four-score  and 
eleven  chains,  like  those  that  hang  to  a  lady's  watch  in 
Etirope,  and  almost  as  large,  which  were  locked  to  my  left 
leg  with  six-and-thirty  padlocks.  Over  against  this  temple, 
on  the  other  side  of  the  great  highway,  at  twenty  feet 
distance,  there  was  a  turret  at  least  five  feet  high.  Here 
the  emperor  ascended,  with  many  principal  lords  of  his 
court,  to  have  an  opportunity  of  viewing  me,  I  was  told, 
for  I  could  not  see  them.  It  was  reckoned  that  above  an 
hundred  thousand  inhabitants  came  out  of  the  town  upon 
the  same  errand ;  and,  in  spite  of  my  guards,  I  believe  there 
could  not  be  fewer  than  ten  thousand,  at  several  times,  who 
mounted  my  body,  by  the  help  of  ladders.  But  a  proclama- 
tion was  soon  issued  to  forbid  it  upon  pain  of  death.  When 
the  workmen  found  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  break  loose 
they  cut  all  the  strings  that  bound  me;  whereupon  I  rose 
up,  with  as  melancholy  a  disposition  as  ever  I  had  in  my 
life.  But  the  noise  and  astonishment  of  the  people  at 
seeing  me  rise  and  walk  are  not  to  be  expressed.  The 
chains  that  held  my  left  leg  were  about  two  yards  long 
and  gave  me  not  only  the  liberty  of  walking  backwards 
and  forwards  in  a  semi-circle,  but  being  fixed  within 
four  inches  of  the  gate,  allowed  me  to  creep  in  and  lie  at  my 
full  length  in  the  temple. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  69 


CHAPTER  II. 

THE  EMPEROR  OF  LILLIPUT,  ATTENDED  BY  SEVERAL  OF 
THE  NOBILITY,  COMES  TO  SEE  THE  AUTHOR  IN  HIS  CON- 
FINEMENT—THE EMPEROR'S  PERSON  AND  HABITS  DE- 
SCRIBED—LEARNED MEN  APPOINTED  TO  TEACH  THE 
AUTHOR  THEIR  LANGUAGE— HE  GAINS  FAVOR  BY  HIS 
MILD  DISPOSITION— HIS  POCKETS  ARE  SEARCHED,  AND 
HIS  SWORD  AND  PISTOLS  TAKEN  FROM  HIM. 

When  I  found  myself  on  my  feet  I  looked  about  me,  and 
must  confess  I  never  beheld  a  more  entertaining  prospect. 
The  country  around  appeared  like  a  continued  garden,  and 
the  enclosed  fields,  which  were  generally  forty  feet  square, 
resembled  so  many  beds  of  flowers.  These  fields  were 
intermingled  with  woods  of  half  a  stang,*  and  the  tallest 
trees,  as  I  could  judge,  appeared  to  be  seven  feet  high.  I 
viewed  the  town  on  my  left  hand,  which  looked  like  the 
painted  scene  of  a  city  in  a  theater. 

I  had  been  for  some  hours  extremely  tired,  however,  so  I 
crept  into  my  house  and  shut  the  door  after  me.  But  it  was 
of  no  use  to  try  to  get  ^id  of  so  much  company.  I  had  to 
come  out  again,  and,  to  get  a  little  change  by  stepping 
backwards  and  forwards  as  far  as  my  chains  allowed.  I 
soon  found  that  the  emperor  had  descended  from  the  tower 
and  advancing  on  horseback  towards  me,  which  had  like 
to  have  cost  him  dear;  for  the  beast,  though  very  well 
trained,  yet  wholly  unused  to  such  a  sight,  which  appeared 
as  if  a  mountain  moved  before  him,  reared  up  on  his  hind 
feet;  but  that  prince,  who  is  an  excellent  horseman,  kept 
his  seat,  till  his  attendants  ran  in  and  held  the  bridle, 
while  his  majesty  had  time  to  dismount.  When  he  alighted 
he  surveyed  me  round  with  great  admiration;  but  kept 
beyond  the  length  of  my  chain.  He  ordered  his  cooks  and 
butlers,  who  were  already  prepared,  to  give  me  victuals  and 
drink,  which  they  pushed  forward  in  a  sort  of  vehicles  upon 
wheels  till  I  could  reach  them.  I  took  these  vehicles 
and  soon  emptied  them  all;  twenty  of  them  were  filled  with 

*  An  old  word  for  perch,  sixteen  feet  and  a  half.  These  small 
woods  were  therefore  eight  feet  and  a  quarter. 


16  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

meat,  and  ten  with  liquor;  each  of  the  former  afforded 
me  two  or  three  good  mouthfuls ;  and  I  emptied  the  Hquor 
of  ten  vessels  which  was  contained  in  earthen  vials,  into  one 
vehicle,  drinking  it  off  at  a  draught;  and  so  I  did  with  the 
rest.  The  empress  and  young  princes  of  the  blood  of  both 
sexes,  attended  by  many  ladies,  sat  at  some  distance  in 
their  chairs;  but,  upon  the  accident  that  happened  to  the 
emperor's  horse,  they  alighted,  and  came  near  his  person, 
which  I  am  now  going  to  describe.    He  is  taller,  by  almost 

Ehe  breadth  of  my  nail,  than  any  of  his  court;  which  alone 
^enough  to  strike  an  awe  into  the  beholders.  His  fea- 
tures are  strong  and  masculine,  with  an  Austrian  lip,  an 
arched  nose;  his  complexion  olive,  his  countenance  erect, 
his  body  andTimbs  w^ell  proportioned,  all  his  motions  grace- 
ful and  his  deportment  majestic.  He  was  then  past  his 
prime,  being  twenty-eight  years  and  three-quarters  old,  of 
which  he  had  reigned  about  seven  in  great  felicity  and 
generally  victorious."^  For  the  better  convenience  of  be- 
holding him  I  lay  on  my  side,  so  that  my  face  was  parallel 
to  his,  and  he  stood  but  three  yards  off;  however,  I  have 
had  him  since  many  times  in  my  hand,  and  therefore  cannot 
be  deceived  in  the  description.  His  dress  was  very  plain  and 
simple,  and  the  fashion  of  it  between  the  Asiatic  and  the 
European;  but  he  had  on  his  head  a  light  helmet  of  gold, 
adorned  with  jewels,  and  a  plume  on  the  crest.    He  held  his 

*  There  can  be  little  room  for  doubting-  that  in  the  description  of 
the  emperor  of  Lilliput,  Swift  dimly  shadowed  forth  some  leading 
traits  in  the  character  of  rfprtrpr^  t  The  points  of  direct  resemblance, 
however,  for  obvious  reasons,  are  very  few;  it  is  only  by  collecting 
all  the  incidents  recorded  of  the  Lilliputian  emperor,  that  we  find  ouc 
his  general  similarity  to  the  first  monarch  of  the  House  of  Brunsv/ick. 
:  The  following  account  of  George  I.  will  enable  the  reader  to  discover 
the  most  prominent  points  of  identity  in  the  two  portraits.  George  I. 
ascended  the  English  throne  in  his  fifty-fifth  year,  when  men  are 
usually  more  disposed  to  acquiesce  in  the  settled  routine  than  venture 
on  novel  and  perhaps  troublesome  experiments.  Moreover,  the  nat- 
ural disposition  and  understanding  of  the  King  were  not  of  a  kind  at 
any  period  of  his  I'fe  to  carry  him  out  of  the  established  orbit.  He 
was  a  person  of  as  simple  tastes  as  appearance:  in  England  he  was  a 
stranger;  his  home  being  Hanover.  He  naturally  inclined  to  the 
seclusion  of  a  private  station,  being  shy  and  reserved  in  public,  but 
easy  and  facetious  among  his  inthnates.  During  the  fourteen  years 
of  his  government  of  the  electorate,  he  had  acquired  the  reputation  of 
a  just  and  circumspect  prince,  who  w^ell  understood  and  steadily 
pursued  his  own  interests,  and  would  have  been  well  content  to  end 
his  days  in  the  petty  sovereignty  of  his  ancestors,  had  not  the  am- 
bition of  others  been  greater  than  his  own.  Punctual  in  business,  he 
was  more  dull  than  Indolent:  and  the  plain  honesty  of  his  temper, 
joined  with  the  narrow  notions  of  a  low  education,  made  him  look 
upon  his  acceptance  of  the  crown  as  an  act  of  usurpation,  which  wa^ 
always  uneasy  to  him.  He  had  no  taste  for  literature  or  the  arts,  and 
was  very  parslmonioua.— Wade's  British  History,  p.  334, 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  71 

sword  drawn  in  his  hand  to  defend  himself,  if  I  should  hap- 
pen to  break  loose:  it  was  almost  three  inches  long;  the  hilt 
and  scabbard  were  gold  enriched  with  diamonds.  His  voice 
was  shrill,  but  very  clear  and  articulate,  and  I  could  dis- 
tinctly hear  it  when  I  stood  up.  The  ladies  and  courtiers 
were  all  most  magnificently  clad;  so  that  the  spot  they 
stood  upon  seemed  to  resemble  a  petticoat  spread  on  the 
ground,  embroidered  with  figures  of  gold  and  silver.  His 
imperial  majesty  spoke  often  to  me,  and  I  returned  answers: 
but  neither  of  us  could  understand  a  syllable.  There  were 
several  of  his  priests  and  lawyers  present  (as  I  conjectured 
by  their  habits),  who  were  commanded  to  address  them- 
selves to  me:  and  I  spoke  to  them  in  as  many  languages 
as  I  had  the  least  smattering  of,  which  were  High  and  Low 
Dutch,  Latin,  French,  Spanish,  Italian,  and  Lingua  Franca; 
but  all  to  no  purpose.  After  about  two  hours  the  court 
retired,  and  I  was  left  with  a  strong  guard  to  prevent  the 
impertinence,  and  probably  the  malice  of  the  rabble;  who 
were  very  impatient  to  crowd  about  me  as  near  as  they 
durst;  and  some  of  them  had  the  impudence  to  shoot  their 
arrows  at  me,  as  I  sat  on  the  ground  by  the  door  of  my 
house,  whereof  one  very  narrowly  missed  my  left  eye.  But 
the  colonel  ordered  six  of  the  ringleaders  to  be  seized,  and 
thought  no  punishment  so  proper  as  to  deliver  them  bound 
into  my  hands;  which  some  of  his  soldiers  accordingly  did, 
pushing  them  forwards  with  the  butt-ends  of  their  pikes 
into  my  reach.  I  took  them  all  in  my  right  hand,  put  five 
of  them  into  my  coat  pocket  and  as  to  the  sixth,  I  made  a 
countenance  as  if  I  would  eat  him  alive.  The  poor  man 
squalled  terribly,  and  the  colonel  and  his  ofificers  were  in 
much  pain,  especially  v/hen  they  saw  me  take  out  my  pen- 
knife; but  I  soon  put  them  out  of  fear;  for,  looking  mildly, 
and  immediately  cutting  the  strings  he  was  bound  with,  I 
set  him  gently  on  the  ground  and  away  he  ran.  I  treated 
the  rest  in  the  same  manner,  taking  them  one  by  one  out 
of  my  pocket;  and  I  observed  both  the  soldiers  and  people 
were  highly  delighted  at  this  mark  of  my  clemency,  vs/hich 
was  represented  very  much  to  my  advantage  at  court."^ 

*  Gulliver's  history  as  a  courtier  at  Lilliput  is  obviously  designed 
to  represent  the  administration  of  Harley  and  Bolingbroke,  at  the 
close  of  Anne's  reign.  Whatever  were  the  other  demerits  of  that 
cabinet,  it  must  be  confessed  that  they  showed  more  tenderness  to 
the   party   by   which    they    were    opposed,    and    greater   clemency   to 


72  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

Towards  night  I  got  with  some  difficulty  into  my 
house,  where  I  lay  on  the  ground  and  continued  to  do  so 
about  a  fortnight;  during  which  time  the  emperor  gave 
orders  to  have  a  bed  prepared  for  me.  Six  hundred  bedsf 
of  the  common  measures  were  brought  in  carriages,  and 
worked  up  in  my  house;  a  hundred  and  fifty  of  their  beds, 
seven  together,  made  up  the  breadth  and  length;  and 
these  were  four  double;  which,  however,  kept  me  but  very 
indifferently  from  the  hardness  of  the  floor,  that  was  of 
smooth  stone.  By  the  same  computation  they  provided 
me  with  sheets,  blankets,  and  coverlets,  tolerable  enough 
for  one  who  had  been  so  long  inured  to  hardships. 

As  the  news  of  my  arrival  spread  through  the  kingdom 
it  brought  prodigious  numbers  of  rich,  idle,  and  curious 
people  to  see  me;  so  that  the  villages  were  almost  emptied, 
and  great  neglect  of  tillage  and  household  afifairs  must  have 
ensued  if  his  imperial  majesty  had  not  provided  by  several 
proclamations  and  orders  of  state  against  this  inconveni- 
ency.  He  directed  that  those  who  had  already  beheld  me 
should  return  home  and  not  presume  to  come  within  fifty 
yards  of  my  house  without  license  from  the  court ;  whereby 
the  secretaries  of  state  got  considerable  fees. 

In  the  meantime  the  emperor  held  frequent  councils  to 
debate  what  course  should  be  taken  with  me;  and  I  was 
afterwards  assured  by  a  particular  friend,  a  person  of  great 
quality,  who  was  as  much  in  the  secret  as  any,  that  the 
court  was  under  many  difficulties  concerning  me.  They 
apprehended  my  breaking  loose,  that  my  diet  would  be  very 
expensive  and  might  cause  a  famine."^  Sometimes  they 
determined  to  starve  me,  or  at  least  to  shoot  me  in  the  face 
and  hands  with  poisoned  arrows  which  would  soon  dispatch 
me;  but  again  they  considered  that  the  stench  of  so  large 
a  carcass  might  produce  a  plague  in  the  metropolis  and 
probably  spread  through  the  whole  kingdom.  In  the  midst 
of  these  consultations  several  officers  of  the  army  went  to 

political  delinquents  than  their  successors.  This  forbearance  es- 
pecially in  the  case  of  libellers,  is  very  ingeniously  intimated  by 
Gulliver's  granting-  pardon  to  the  malicious  archers.  Swift  used 
freauently  to  remark  that  Anne  was  the  only  sovereign  during  whose 
entire  reign  no  one  suffered  the  penalties  of  high  treason. 

t  Gulliver  has  observed  great  exactness  in  the  just  proportion  and 
appearance  of  the  objects  thus  lessened.— Orrery. 

*  The  parsimony  of  George  I.  has  been  already  noticed;  "avarice 
was  so  predominant  in  him.  that  he  would  ra^'se  no  troops  to  secure 
the  succession."— Wade's  British  History,  p.  334. 


GULLIVER'S    TRAVELS.  73 

the  door  of  the  great  council-chamber  and  two  of  them 
being  admitted,  gave  an  account  of  my  behavior  to  the  six 
criminals  above  mentioned;  which  made  so  favorable  an 
impression  in  the  breast  of  his  majesty  and  the  whole  board 
in  my  behalf  that  an  imperial  commission  was  issued  out, 
obliging  all  the  villages,  nine  hundred  yards  round  the 
city,  to  deliver  in  every  morning  six  beeves,  forty  sheep,  and 
other  victuals  for  my  sustenance;  together  with  a  propor- 
tionable quantity  of  bread,  and  wine  and  other  liquors;  for 
the  due  payment  of  which  his  majesty  gave  assignments 
upon  his  treasure: — for  this  prince  lives  chiefly  upon  his 
own  demesnes:  seldom,  except  upon  great  occasions,  rais- 
ing any  subsidies  upon  his  subjects,  who  are  bound  to  attend 
him  in  his  wars  at  their  own  expense.  An  establishment 
was  also  made  of  six  hundred  persons  to  be  my  domestics, 
who  had  board-wages  allowed  for  their  maintenance  and 
tents  built  for  them  very  conveniently  on  each  side  of  my 
door.  It  was  likewise  ordered  that  three  hundred  tailors 
make  me  a  suit  of  clothes,  after  the  fashion  of  the  country; 
that  six  of  his  majesty's  greatest  scholars  should  be  em- 
ployed to  instruct  me  in  their  language ;  and,  lastly,  that  the 
emperor's  horses,  and  those  of  the  nobility  and  troops  of 
guards  should  be  frequently  exercised  in  my  sight,  to  accus- 
tom themselves  to  me.  All  these  orders  were  duly  put  in 
execution:  and  in  about  three  weeks  I  made  a  great  prog- 
ress in  learning  their  language;  during  which  time  the 
emperor  frequently  honored  me  wnth  his  visits,  and  was 
pleased  to  assist  my  masters  in  teaching  me.  We  began 
already  to  converse  together  in  some  sort;  and  the  first 
words  I  learned  were  to  express  my  desire  ''that  he 
w^ould  be  pleased  to  give  me  my  liberty;"  which  I  every 
day  repeated  on  my  knees.  His  answer,  as  I  could  appre- 
hend it,  was  "that  this  must  be  a  work  of  time,  not  to  be 
thought  on  without  the  advice  of  his  council,  and  that  first 
I  must  lumos  kelmin  pesso  desmar  Ion  emposo;"  that  is, 
swear  a  peace  with  him  and  his  kingdom:  however,  that 
I  should  be  used  with  all  kindness:  and  he  advised  me  "to 
acquire,  by  my  patience  and  discreet  behavior  the  good 
opinion  of  himself  and  his  subjects."  He  desired  "I  would 
not  take  it  ill  if  he  gave  orders  to  certain  proper  ofHcers 
to  search  me ;  for  probably  I  might  carry  about  me  several 
weapons,  which  must  needs  be  dangerous  things,  if  they 


74  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

answer  the  bulk  of  so  prodigious  a  person."  I  said,  "His 
majesty  should  be  satisfied,  for  I  was  ready  to  strip  myself 
and  turn  up  my  pockets  before  him."  This  I  delivered,  part 
in  words,  and  part  in  signs.  He  replied,  "that,  by  the  laws 
of  the  kingdom  I  must  be  searched  by  two  of  his  officers; 
that  he  knew  this  could  not  be  done  without  my  consent 
and  assistance;  and  he  had  so  good  an  opinion  of  my  gen- 
erosity and  justice  as  to  trust  their  persons  in  my  hands; 
that  whatever  they  took  from  me  should  be  returned  when 
I  left  the  country  or  paid  for  at  the  rate  which  I  vv^ould  set 
upon  them."  I  took  up  the  two  officers  in  my  hands,  put 
them  first  into  my  coat  pockets  and  then  into  every  other 
pocket  about  me,  except  my  two  fobs  and  another  secret 
pocket,  which  I  had  no  mind  to  be  searched,  v/herein  I 
had  some  little  necessaries  that  were  of  no  consequence  to 
any  but  myself.  In  one  of  my  fobs  there  was  a  silver  v/atch 
and  in  the  other  a  small  quantity  of  gold  in  a  purse.  These 
gentlemen,  having  pen,  ink,  and  paper  about  them,  made 
an  exact  inventory  of  everything  they  saw ;  and  when  they 
had  done,  desired  I  would  set  them  down,  that  they  might 
deliver  it  to  the  emperor.  This  inventory  I  afterwards  trans- 
lated into  English,  and  is  word  for  word  as  follows  i"^ 

*^l7npri7nis,  In  the  right  coat  pocket  of  the  great  Man- 
mountain  (for  so  I  interpret  the  words  qtiinhus  flesUHn\ 
after  the  strictest  search,  we  found  only  one  great  piece  of 
coarse  cloth,  large  enough  to  be  a  footcloth  for  your  maj- 
esty's chief  room  of  state.  In  the  left  pocket  we  saw  a 
huge  silver  chest,  with  a  cover  of  the  same  metal,  which 
we,  the  searchers,  were  not  able  to  lift.  We  desired  it 
should  be  opened,  and  one  of  us  stepping  into  it,  found  him- 
self up  to  the  mid-leg  in  a  sort  of  dust,  some  part  whereof 
flying  up  to  our  faces,  set  us  both  a-sneezing  several  times 
together.  In  his  right  waistcoat  pocket  we  found  a  prodig- 
ious bundle  of  white  thin  substances,  folded  one  over  an- 
other, about  the  bigness  of  three  men,  tied  with  a  strong 
cable  and  marked  with  black  figures;  which  we  humbly 
conceive  to  be  writings,  every  letter  almost  half  as  large  as 
the  palm  of  our  hands.     In  the  left  there  was  a  sort  of 

*  This  inventory  is  designed  to  ridicule  the  reports  of  the  several 
committees  of  secrecy  appointed  by  W^alpole  to  investijrate  the  pre- 
sumed designs  of  the  Jacobites,  and  especially  the  secret  negotiations 
said  to  be  connected  with  the  treaty  of  Utrecht.  It  was  said  of  these 
reports,  that  tlie  committees  "found  nothing  suspicious  but  what  they 
could  not  understand:"  to  which  it  was  addod,  that  "as  they  under- 
stood nothing,   they  suspected  everything." 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  ?5 

engine,  from  the  back  of  which  were  extended  twenty  long 
poles,  resembling  the  palisadoes  before  your  majesty's 
comt;  wherewith  we  conjecture  the  Man-mountain  com.bs 
his  head,  for  we  did  not  always  trouble  him  with  questions, 
because  we  found  it  a  great  difBculty  to  make  him  under- 
stand us.  In  the  large  pocket  on  the  right  side  of  his  middle 
cover  (so  I  translate  ranfu-lo,  by  which  they  meant  my 
breeches),  we  saw  a  hollow  pillar  of  iron,  about  the  length 
of  a  man,  fastened  to  a  strong  piece  of  timber  larger  than 
the  pillar,  and  upon  one  side  of  the  pillar  were  huge  pieces 
of  iron  sticking  out,  cut  into  strange  figures,  which  we 
know  not  what  to  make  of.  In  the  left  pocket  another 
engine  of  the  same  kind.  In  the  smaller  pocket  on  the  right 
side,  were  several  round  flat  pieces  of  white  and  red  metal, 
of  different  bulk;  some  of  the  white,  which  seemed  to  be 
silver,  were  so  large  and  heavy  that  my  comrade  and  I  could 
hardly  lift  them.  In  the  left  pocket  were  two  black  pillars 
irregularly  shaped;  w^e  could  not,  without  difficulty,  reach 
the  top  of  them,  as  we  stood  at  the  bottom  of  his  pocket. 
One  of  them  was  covered  and  seemed  all  of  a  piece;  but  at 
the  upper  end  of  the  other  there  appeared  a  white  round 
substance,  about  twice  the  bigness  of  our  heads.  Within 
each  of  these  was  enclosed  a  prodigious  plate  of  steel; 
which,  by  our  orders,  we  obliged  him  to  show  us,  because 
we  apprehended  they  might  be  dangerous  engines.  He 
took  them  out  of  their  cases,  and  told  us,  that  in  his  own 
country  his  practice  was  to  shave  his  beard  with  one  of  these 
and  cut  his  meat  with  the  other.  There  w^re  two  pockets 
which  we  could  not  enter;  these  he  called  his  fobs;  they 
were  two  large  slits  cut  into  the  top  of  his  middle  cover,  but 
squeezed  close  by  the  pressure  of  his  belly.  Out  of  the  right 
fob  hung  a  great  silver  chain,  with  a  wonderful  kind  of  en- 
gine at  the  bottom.  We  directed  him  to  draw  out  whatever 
was  at  the  end  of  that  chain,  which  appeared  to  be  a  globe, 
half  silver,  and  half  of  some  transparent  metal;  for,  on  the 
transparent  side  we  saw  certain  strange  figures  circularly 
drawn,  and  thought  we  would  touch  them  till  we  found  our 
fingers  stopped  by  that  lucid  substance.  He  put  his  engine 
to  our  ears,  which  made  an  incessant  noise,  like  that  of  a 
water-mill;  and  we  conjecture  it  is  either  some  unknown 
animal  or  the  god  that  he  worships ;  _  but  we  are  more 
inclined  to  the  latter  opinion,  because  he  assured  us  (if  we 


76  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

understood  him  right,  for  he  expressed  himself  very  im- 
perfectly) that  he  seldom  did  anything  without  consulting 
it.  He  called  it  his  oracle,  and  said  it  pointed  out  the  time 
for  every  action  of  his  life.  From  the  left  fob  he  took  out 
a  net  almost  large  enough  for  a  fisherman^  but  contrived 
to  open  and  shut  like  a  purse,  and  which  served  him  for 
the  same  use;  we  found  therein  several  massy  pieces  of 
yellow  metal,  which,  if  they  be  real  gold,  must  be  of  im- 
mense value. 

''Having  thus,  in  obedience  to  your  majesty's  commands, 
diligently  searched  all  his  pockets,  we  observed  a  girdle 
abovit  his  waist,  made  of  the  hide  of  some  prodigious  ani- 
mal, from  which,  on  the  left  side,  hung  a  sword  of  the  length 
of  five  men;  and  on  the  right  a  bag,  or  pouch,  divided  into 
two  cells,  each  cell  capable  of  holding  three  of  your  majes- 
ty's subjects.  In  one  of  these  cells  were  several  globes,  or 
balls,  of  a  most  ponderous  metal,  about  the  bigness  of  our 
heads,  and  required  a  strong  hand  to  lift  them;  the  other 
cell  contained  a  heap  of  certain  black  grains,  but  of  no  great 
bulk  or  weight,  for  we  could  hold  above  fifty  of  them  in  the 
palms  of  our  hands. 

''This  is  an  exact  inventory  of  what  we  found  about  the 
body  of  the  Man-mountain,  who  used  us  with  great  civility, 
and  due  respect  to  your  majesty's  commission.  Signed  and 
sealed  on  the  fourth  day  of  the  eighty-ninth  moon  of  your 
majesty's  auspicious  reign." 

When  the  inventory  was  read  over  to  the  emperor  he 

directed  me,  although  in  very  gentle  terms,  to  deliver  up 

the  several  particulars.*      He  first  called  for  my  cimeter, 

which  I  took  out,  scabbard  and  all.     In  the  meantime  he 

•ordered  three  thousand  of  his  choicest  troops  (who  then 

*  The  searches  made  by  the  Whigs  in  the  houses  of  persons  sus- 
pected of  Jacobitism  and  Popery,  are  scarcely  caricatured  in  this 
whimsical  account  of  the  examination  of  Gulliver's  pockets.  Sir 
Walter  Scott  has  g-iven  a  similar  description  in  his  Peveril  of  the 
Peak,  where  the  emissaries  of  the  House  of  Commons,  puzzled  by  the 
ordinary  habits  of  life  in  the  hig-her  ranks,  were  disposed  to  find 
treason  in  a  laced  waistcoat,  and  Popery  in  a  hooped  petticoat. 
Writing  in  Ireland,  Swift  was  likely  to  find  an  ample  supply  of  search- 
ers and  alarmists,  for  the  Cromwellian  settlers  derived  their  title  to 
their  estates  from  no  better  source  than  the  English  suspicion  and 
hatred  of  Popery,  were  anxious  to  keep  alive  such  feelings,  and 
catalogues  of  suspicious  articles,  even  more  ludicrous  than  those  in 
the  text,  may  be  found  in  the  records  of  Dublin  Castle. 

One  of  the  objects  of  suspicion  in  those  days,  wearied  out  by 
constant  equisitions  to  surrender  his  firearms,  and  by  the  repeated 
annoyances  which  he  had  experienced,  sent  his  poker,  tongs,  and 
shovel  to  the  arsenal,  and  took  a  regular  receipt  for  them  from  the 
offlcer  in  command. 


GULLIVER'S    TRAVELS.  77 

attended  him)  to  surround  me  at  a  distance,  with  their  bows 
and  arrows  just  ready  to  discharge;  but  I  did  not  observe 
it,  for  mine  eyes  were  wholly  fixed  upon  his  majesty.f  He 
then  desired  me  to  draw  my  cimeter,  which,  although  it  had 
got  some  rust  by  the  sea-water,  was  in  most  parts  exceeding 
bright.  I  did  so,  and  immediately  all  the  troops  gave  a 
shout  between  terror  and  surprise;  for  the  sun  shone  clear, 
and  the  reflection  dazzled  their  eyes,  as  I  waved  the  cime- 
ter to  and  fro  in  my  hand.  His  majesty,  who  was  a  most 
magnanimous  prince,  was  less  daunted  than  I  could  expect ; 
he  ordered  me  to  return  it  into  the  scabbard  and  cast  it  on 
the  ground  as  gently  as  I  could,  about  six  feet  from  the 
end  of  my  chain.  The  next  thing  he  demanded  was  one 
of  the  hollow  iron  pillars,  by  which  he  meant  my  pocket 
pistols.  I  drew  it  out,  and  at  his  desire,  as  well  as  I  could, 
expressed  to  him  the  use  of  it;  and  charging  it  only  with 
powder,  which,  by  the  closeness  of  my  pouch  happened 
to  escape  wetting  in  the  sea  (an  inconvenience  against  which 
all  prudent  mariners  take  special  care  to  provide),  I  first 
cautioned  the  emperor  not  to  be  afraid,  and  then  I  let  it  ofif 
in  the  air.  The  astonishment  here  was  much  greater  than 
at  the  sight  of  the  cimeter.  Hundreds  fell  down  as  if  they 
had  been  struck  dead;  and  even  the  emperor,  although  he 
stood  his  ground,  could  not  recover  himself  for  some  time. 
I  delivered  up  both  my  pistols  in  the  same  manner  as  I 
had  done  my  cimeter,  and  then  my  pouch  of  powder  and 
bullets;  begging  him  that  the  former  might  be  kept  from 
fire,  for  it  would  kindle  with  the  smallest  spark  and  blow 
up  his  imperial  palace  into  the  air.  I  likewise  delivered 
up  my  watch,  w^hich  the  emperor  was  very  curious  to  see, 
and  commanded  two  of  his  tallest  yeomen  of  the  guards  to 
bear  it  on  a  pole  upon  their  shoulders,  as  draymen  in  Eng- 
land do  a  barrel  of  ale.     He  was  amazed  at  the  continual 

t  There  is  exquisite  humor  in  these  formal  preparations  for  se- 
curity, which  escaped  the  notice  of  the  persons  they  were  intending 
to  intimidate.  The  satire  is  directed  against  the  precautions  taken 
by  the  Whig  ministers  on  receiving  information  of  real  or  pretended 
plots  of  the  Jacobites,  particularly  in  May,  1722,  when  "orders  were 
Issued  to  all  military  officers  to  repair  to  their  respective  commands. 
General  Macartney  was  despatched  to  Ireland  to  bring  over  some 
troops  into  the  west  of  England.  Messengers  were  sent,  to  Scotland 
to  secure  some  suspected  persons;  and  the  States  of  Holland  were 
directed  to  keep  in  readiness  the  guarantee  troops  to  be  sent  to 
England  in  case  of  need."— Wade,  369.  At  the  same  time  a  procla- 
mation was  issued  commanding  all  papists  to  depart  from  London 
and  Westminster  1  and  for  confining  papists  to  their  habitations. 


78  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

noise  it  made,  and  the  motion  of  the  minute-hand,  which 
he  could  easily  discern ;  for  their  sight  is  much  more  a^Ute^ 
than  ours;  he  asked  the  opinion  of  his  learned  men  about 
it,  which  were  various  and  remote,  as  the  reader  may  imag- 
ine without  my  repeating;  although,  indeed,  I  could  not 
very  perfect^  understand  them.  I  then  gave  up  my  silver 
and  copper  money,  my  purse  with  nine  large  pieces  of  gold, 
and  some  smaller  ones;  my  knife  and  razor,  my  comb  and 
silver  snufT-box,  my  handkerchief  and  journal-book.  My 
cimeter,  pistols,  and  pouch,  were  conveyed  in  carriages  to 
his  majesty's  stores,  but  the  rest  of  my  goods  were  returned 
to  me. 

I  had,  as  I  before  observed,  one  private  pocket,  which 
escaped  their  search,  wherein  there  was  a  pair  of  spectacles 
(which  I  sometimes  use  for  the  weakness  of  mine  eyes)  a 
pocket  perspective,  and  some  other  little  conveniences 
which,  being  of  no  consequence  to  the  emperor,  I  did  not 
think  myself  bound  in  honor  to  discover,  and  I  apprehended 
they  might  be  lost  or  spoiled  if  I  ventured  them  out  of  my 
possession. 


CHAPTER  III. 

THE  AUTHOR  DIVERTS  THE  EMPEROR,  AND  HIS  NOBILITY 
OF  BOTH  SEXES,  IN  A  VERY  UNCOMMON  MANNER— THE 
DIVERSIONS  OF  THE  COURT  OF  LILLIPUT  DESCRIBED— 
THE  AUTHOR  HAS  HIS  LIBERTY  GRANTED  HIM  UPON 
CERTAIN  CONDITIONS. 

My  gentleness  and  good  behavior  had  gained  so  far  on 
the  emperor  and  his  court,  and  indeed  upon  the  army  and 
people  in  general,  that  I  began  to  conceive  hopes  of  getting 
my  liberty  in  a  short  time.  I  took  all  possible  methods  to 
cultivate  this  favorable  disposition.  The  natives  came  by 
degrees  to  be  less  apprehensive  of  any  danger  from  me.  I 
would  sometimes  lie  down  and  let  five  or  six  of  them  dance 
on  my  hand;  and  at  last  the  boys  and  girls  would  venture 
to  come  and  play  at  hide-and-seek  in  my  hair.  I  had  now 
made  a  good  progress  in  understanding  and  speaking  the 
language.  The  emperor  had  a  mind  one  day  to  entertain 
me  with  several  of  the  country  shows,  wherein  they  ex- 
ceeded all  nations  I  have  known,  both  for  dexterity  and 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  79 

magnilicence.  I  was  diverted  with  none  so  much  as  that 
of  the  rope-dancers,  performed  upon  a  slender  white  thread, 
extended  about  two  feet  and  twelve  inches  from  the  ground. 
Upon  which  I  shall  desire  liberty,  with  the  reader's  patience, 
to  enlarge  a  little.  . 

This  diversion  is  only  practiced  by  those  persons  who' 
are  candidates  for  great  employments  and  high  favor  at 
court.  They  are  trained  in  this  art  from  their  youth,  and 
are  not  always  of  noble  birth,  or  liberal  education.  When 
a  great  ofilice  is  vacant,  either  by  death  or  disgrace  (which 
often  happens),  five  or  six  of  those  candidates  petition  the 
emperor  to  entertain  his  miajesty  and  the  court  with  a  dance 
on  a  rope;  and  whoever  jumps  the  highest  without  falling 
succeeds  in  the  office.  Very  often  the  chief  ministers  them- 
selves are  commanded  to  show  their  skill,  and  to  convince 
the  emperor  that  they  have  not  lost  their  faculty.  Flimnap, 
the  treasurer,  is  allowed  to  cut  a  caper  on  the  straight  rope, 
at  least  an  inch  higher  than  any  other  lord  in  the  w^hole 
empire.  I  have  seen  him  do  the  summierset"^  several  times 
together  upon  a  trencher  fixed  on  a  rope  which  is  no  thicker 
than  a  common  packthread  in  England.f     My  friend  Rel- 

*  Summerset  or  Summersault  a  gambol  of  a  tumbler,  in  which  he 
springs  up,  turns  heels  over  head  in  the  air,  and  comes  down  upon 
his  feet. — Orig. 

t  Flimnap  is  intended  for  Sir  Robert  Walpoie,  from  whom  Swift 
at  first  had  some  expectations  of  promotion;  when  these  were  dis- 
appointed, the  Dean  became  the  bitter  enemy  of  the  minister,  and  his 
hatred  was  aggravated  by  the  zeal  with  which  Walpoie  persecuted 
Swift's  great  favorites,  Lord  Bolingbroke  and  Dr.  Atterbury,  Bishop 
of  Rochester.  In  an  epistle  to  the  poet  Gay,  the  Dean  gives  the  fol- 
lowing bitter  description  of  Walpoie. 

And  first  to  make  my  observation  right, 

I  place  a  statesman  full  before  my  sight, 

A  bloated  minister  in  all  his  geer. 

With   shameless   visage  and  perfidious  leer; 

Two  rows  of  teeth  arm  each  devouring  jaw, 

And  ostrich-like  his  all  digesting  maw. 

My  fancy  drags  this  monster  to  my  view. 

To  show  the  world  his  chief  reverse  in  you. 

Of  loud  unmeaning  sounds  a  rapid  flood 

Rolls  from  his  m.outh  in  plenteous  streams  of  mud 

With  these,  the  courts  and  senate-house  he  plies, 

Made  up  of  noise,  and  impudence,  and  lies. 

And  again,  alluding  to  Walpoie' s  continuance  in  office  under  George 
II.,  and  Sir  Spencer  Compton's  refusal  to  form  an  administration. 

I  knew  a  brazen  minister  of  state. 

Who  bore  for  twice  ten  years  the  public  hate; 

In  every  mouth  the  question  most  in  vogue 

Was,    'When  will  they  turn  out  this  odious  rogue?" 

A  juncture  happen'd,  in  his  highest  pride; 

While  he   went  robbing  on,   old  master  died. 


80  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

dresal,  principal  secretary  for  private  affairs,  is  in  my  opin- 
ion, if  I  am  not  partial,  the  second  after  the  treasurer  4  the 
rest  of  the  great  of^cers  are  much  upon  a  par. 

These  diversions  are  often  attended  with  fatal  accidents, 
v/hereof  great  numbers  are  on  record.  I  myself  have  seen 
two  or  three  candidates  break  a  limb.  But  the  danger  is 
much  greater  when  the  ministers  themselves  are  com- 
manded to  show  their  dexterity!  for,  by  contending  to 
excel  themselves  and  their  fellows,  they  strain  so  far  that 
there  is  hardly  one  of  them  who  has  not  received  a  fall,  and 
some  of  them  two  or  three.  I  was  assured  that,  a  year  or 
two  before  my  arrival,  Flimnap  would  infallibly  have  broke 
his  neck,  if  one  of  the  king's  cushions,  that  accidentally  lay 
on  the  ground,  had  not  weakened  the  force  of  his  fall.f 

There  is  likewise  another  diversion,  which  is  only  shown 
before  the  emperor  and  empress,  and  the  first  minister, 
upon  particular  occasions.  The  emperor  lays  on  the  table 
three  fine  silken  threads  of  six  inches  long;  one  is  blue,  the 
other  red,  and  the  third  green.  These  threads  are  proposed 
as  prizes  for  those  persons  whom  the  emperor  has  a  mind 
to  distinguish  by  a  peculiar  mark  of  his  favor.  The  cere- 
mony is  performed  in  his  majesty's  great  chamber  of  state, 
where  the  candidates  are  to  undergo  a  trial  of  dexterity, 
very  different  from  the  former,  and  such  as  I  have  not  ob- 
served the  least  resemblance  of  in  any  other  country  of  the 
new  or  old  world.  The  emperor  holds  a  stick  in  his  hands, 
both  ends  parallel  to  the  horizon,  while  the  candidates  ad- 

We  thought  there  now  remained  no  room  to  doubt; 

His  work  is  done,   the  minister  must  out. 

The  court  invited  more  than  one  or  two; 

Will  you.  Sir  Spencer?  or  will  you?  or  you? 

But  not  a  soul  his  office  durst  accept; 

He   owed   his  preservation   to   his    crimes, 

The  candidates  observed  his  dirty  paws, 

Nor  found  it  difficult  to  guess  the  cause; 

But  when  they  smelt  such  foul  corruptions  round  him 

Away  they  fled,  and  left  him  as  they  found  him. 

t  Mr.  Secretary  Stanhope  was  most  probably  intended  by  Reldresal; 
he  supplanted  Walpole  in  1717,  and  adopted  a  more  temperate  and 
conciliatory  course  towards  the  Tories  and  Jacobites,  with  whom 
Swift  was  connected. 

t  Walpole  was  compelled  to  resign  his  office  in  1717,  through  the 
intrigues  of  Lord  Sunderland  and  Mr.  Secretary  Stanhope,  who,  fol- 
lowing the  King  to  Hanover  sought  and  found  a  favorable  opportunity 
of  supplanting  Walpole  and  Townshend  in  the  royal  favor.  After  an 
exclusion  of  four  years,  which  seemed  politically  "to  have  broken  his 
neek,"  he  was  restored  by  his  interest  with  the  Duchess  of  Kendal, 
the  favorite  mistress  of  George  I.;  and  this  was  "the  king's  cushion 
that  lav  accidentally  en  the  ground  and  weakened  the  force  of  the 
fall  " 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  81 

vancing,  one  by  one,  sometimes  leap  over  the  stick,  some- 
times creep  under  it,  backward  and  forward,  several  times, 
according  as  the  stick  is  advanced  or  depressed.  Some- 
•  times  the  emperor  holds  one  end  of  the  stick,  and  the  first 
minister  the  other;  sometimes  the  minister  has  it  entirely  to 
himself.  Whoever  performs  his  part  with  the  most  agility 
and  holds  out  the  longest  in  leaping  and  creeping,  is  re- 
warded with  the  blue-colored  silk;  the  red  is  given  to  the 
next,  and  the  green  to  the  third,  which  they  all  wear  girt 
twice  round  about  the  middle;  and  you  see  few  great  per- 
sons about  this  court  who  are  not  adorned  with  one  of  these 
girdles.* 

The  horses  of  the  army,  and  those  of  the  royal  stables, 
having  been  daily  led  before  me,  were  no  longer  shy,  but 
would  come  up  to  my  very  feet  without  starting.  The  riders 
would  leap  them  over  my  hand,  as  I  held  it  on  the  ground; 
and  one  of  the  emperors  huntsmen,  upon  a  large  courser, 
took  my  foot,  shoe  and  all,  which  was  indeed  a  prodigious 
leap.  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  divert  the  emperor  one  day 
after  a  very  extraordinary  manner.  I  desired  he  would 
order  several  sticks  of  two  feet  high,  and  the  thickness  of  an 
ordinary  cane,  to  be  brought  me;  whereupon  his  majesty 
commanded  the  master  of  his  woods  to  give  directions  ac- 
cordingly, and  the  next  morning  six  woodmen  arrived  with 
as  many  carriages,  drawn  by  eight  horses  to  each.  I  took 
nine  of  these  sticks  and  fixing  them  firmly  in  the  ground 
in  a  quadrangular  figure,  two  feet  and  a  half  square,  I  took 
four  other  sticks  and  tied  them  parallel  at  each  corner,  about 
two  feet  from  the  ground;  then  I  fastened  my  handkerchief 
to  the  nine  sticks  that  stood  erect,  and  extended  it  on  all 
sides,  till  it  was  tight  as  the  top  of  a  drum,  and  the  four 
parallel  sticks,  rising  about  five  inches  higher  than  the  hand- 
kerchief, served  as  ledges  on  each  side.  When  I  had  fin- 
ished my  work  I  desired  the  emperor  to  let  a  troop  of  the 
best  horse,  twenty-four  in  number,  come  and  exercise  upon 
this  plane.  His  majesty  approved  of  the  proposal  and  I 
took  them  up  one  by  one,  in  my  hands,  ready  mounted  and 

*  The  revival  of  the  Order  of  the  Bath  by  Sir  Robert  Walpole,  in 
1726,  as  a  cheap  means  of  gratifying-  political  adherents,  was  fair  game 
to  a  satirist  like  Swift.  Walpole  was  distinguished  not  only  by  tiie 
Order  of  the  Bath,  but  by  that  of  the  Garter,  which  was  conferred 
on  him  in  1726.— Cox's  Life  of  Walpole. 

It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  mention,  that  blue  is  the  cognizance  of 
the  Garter,  red  of  the  Bath,  and  green  of  the  Thistle. 

6  'inrm^    d^   MAie\VAl'V\^^> 


82  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

armed,  with  the  proper  officers  to  exercise  thera.  As  soon 
as  they  got  into  order  they  divided  into  two  parties,  per- 
formed mock  skirmishes,  discharged  blunt  arrows,  drew 
their  swords,  fled  and  pursued,  attacked  and  retired,  and 
in  short,  discovered  the  best  mihtary  discipHne  I  ever 
beheld.  The  parallel  sticks  secured  them  and  their  horses 
from  falling  over  the  stage;  and  the  emperor  was  so  much 
delighted  that  he  ordered  this  entertainment  to  be  repeated 
several  days,  and  once  was  pleased  to  be  lifted  up  and  give 
the  word  of  command;  and,  with  great  difficulty,  persuaded 
even  the  empress  herself  to  let  me  hold  her  in  her  close 
chair  within  two  yards  of  the  stage,  when  she  was  able  to 
take  a  full  view  of  the  whole  performance.  It  was  my 
good  fortune  that  no  ill-accident  happened  in  these  enter- 
tainments; only  once  a  fiery  horse,  that  belonged  to  one  of 
the  captains,  pawing  with  his  hoof,  struck  a  hole  in  my 
handkerchief,  and,  his  foot  slipping,  he  overthrew  his  rider 
and  himself;  but  I  immediately  relieved  them  both,  and, 
covering  the  hole  with  one  hand,  I  set  down  the  troop  with 
the  other,  in  the  same  manner  as  I  took  them  up.  The 
horse  that  fell  was  strained  in  the  left  shoulder,  but  the  rider 
got  no  hurt,  and  I  repaired  my  handkerchief  as  well  as  I 
could;  however,  I  would  not  trust  to  the  strength  of  it  any 
more  in  such  dangerous  enterprises. 

About  two  or  three  days  before  I  was  set  at  liberty,  as  I 
was  entertaining  the  court  with  this  kind  of  feats,  there 
arrived  an  express  to  inform  his  majesty  that  some  of  his 
subjects,  riding  near  the  place  where  I  was  first  taken  up, 
had  seen  a  great  black  substance  lying  on  the  ground,  very 
oddly  shaped,  extending  its  edges  round,  as  wide  as  his 
majesty's  bed-chamber,  and  rising  up  in  the  middle  as  high 
as  a  man;  that  it  was  no  living  creature,  as  they  at  first 
apprehended,  for  it  lay  on  the  grass  without  motion,  and 
some  of  them  had  walked  round  it  several  times;  that,  by 
mounting  upon  each  other's  shoulders,  they  had  got  to  the 
top,  which  was  flat  and  even,  and  stamping  upon  it,  they 
found  that  it  was  hollow^  within ;  that  they  humbly  conceived 
it  might  be  something  belonging  to  the  man-mountain ;  and 
if  his  majesty  pleased  they  would  undertake  to  bring  it  with 
only  five  horses.  I  presently  knew  what  they  meant,  and 
was  glad  at  heart  to  receive  this  Intelligence.  It  seems, 
upon  my  first  reaching  the  shore  after  our  shipwreck,  I  was 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  83 

in  such  confusion  that  before  I  came  to  the  place  where 
I  went  to  sleep,  my  hat,  which  I  had  fastened  with  a  string 
to  my  head  while  I  was  rowing,  and  had  stuck  on  all  the 
time  I  was  swimming,  fell  off  after  I  came  to  land;  the 
string,  as  I  conjecture,  breaking  by  some  accident,  which 
I  had  never  observed,  but  thought  my  hat  had  been  lost 
at  sea.  I  entreated  his  imperial  majesty  to  give  orders  it 
might  be  brought  to  me  as  soon  as  possible,  describing 
to  him  the  use  and  the  nature  of  it;  and  the  next  day  the 
wagoners  arrived  with  it,  but  not  in  a  very  good  condition; 
they  had  bored  two  holes  in  the  brim,  within  an  inch  and 
a  half  of  the  edge,  and  fastened  two  hooks  in  the  holes,  these 
hooks  were  tied  by  a  long  cord  to  the  harness,  and  thus  my 
hat  was  dragged  along  for  above  half  an  English  mile,  but 
the  ground  in  that  country  being  extremely  smooth  and 
level,  it  received  less  damage  than  I  expected. 

Two  days  after  this  adventure  the  emperor,  having 
ordered  that  part  of  his  army  which  quarters  in  and  about 
his  metropolis,  to  be  in  readiness,  took  a  fancy  of  divert- 
ing himself  in  a  singular  manner.  He  desired  that  I  would 
stand  like  a  colossus,  with  my  legs  as  far  asunder  as  I  con- 
veniently could.  He  then  commanded  his  general  (who 
was  an  old  experienced  leader,  and  a  great  patron  of  mine) 
to  draw  up  the  troops  in  close  order,  and  march  them  under 
me;  the  foot  by  twenty-four  abreast,  and  the  horse  by 
sixteen,  with  drums  beating,  colors  flying,  and  pikes  ad- 
vanced. This  body  consisted  of  three  thousand  foot,  and 
a  thousand  horse.  His  majesty  gave  orders,  upon  pain  of 
death,  tlfat  every  soldier  in  his  march  should  observe  the 
strictest  decency  with  regard  to  my  person ;  which,  however, 
could  not  prevent  some  of  the  younger  ofificers  from  turn- 
ing up  their  eyes,  as  they  passed  under  me;  and  to  confess 
the  truth,  my  breeches  were  at  that  time  in  so  ill  a  condi- 
tion that  they  afforded  some  opportunities  for  laughter  and 
admiration.* 

I  had  sent  so  many  mem.orials  and  petitions  for  my  liberty 
that  his  majesty  at  length  mentioned  the  matter,  first  in  the 
cabinet  and  then  in  a  full  council,  where  it  was  opposed  by 

*  The  author  probably  intends  to  ridicule  the  partiality  of  George  I. 
for  reviews  and  military  pageantry.  Hogarth's  celebrated  picture  of 
the  "March  of  the  Guards  to  Finchley"  belongs  to  a  much  later 
period,  but  its  satiric  touches  would  probably  have  been  as  applicable 
in  the  reign  of  the  first  as  of  the  second  George, 


84  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

none  except  Skyresh  Bolgolam,  who  was  pleased,  without 
any  provocation,  to  be  my  mortal  enemy.f  But  it  was  car- 
ried against  him  by  the  whole  board  and  confirmed  by  the 
emperor.  That  minister  was  galbet  or  admiral  of  the 
realm,  very  much  in  his  master's  confidence,  and  a  person 
well  versed  in  affairs,  but  of  a  morose  and  sour  complexion. 
However,  he  was  at  length  persuaded  to  comply,  but  pre- 
vailed that  the  articles  and  conditions  upon  which  I  should 
be  set  free,  and  to  which  I  must  swear,  should  be  drawn  up 
by  himself.  These  articles  were  brought  to  me  by  Skyresh 
Bolgolam  in  person,  attended  by  two  under-secretaries  and 
several  persons  of  distinction.  After  they  were  read  I  was 
demanded  to  swear  to  the  performance  of  them,  first,  in 
the  manner  of  my  own  country,  and  afterwards  in  the 
methods  prescribed  by  their  laws,  which  was,  to  hold  my  / 
right  foot  in  my  left  hand,  and  to  place  the  middle  finger  \ 
of  my  right  hand  on  the  crown  of  my  head,  and  my  thumb 
on  the  tip  of  my  right  ear.  But  because  the  reader  may  be 
curious  to  have  some  idea  of  the  style  and  manner  of  expres- 
sion peculiar  to  that  people,  as  well  as  to  know  the  articles 
upon  which  I  recovered  my  liberty,  I  have  made  a  transla- 
tion of  the  whole  instrument,  word  for  word,  as  near  as  I 
was  able,  which  I  here  offer  to  the  pubHc:"^ 

Golbasto  Momarem  Evlane  Gurdilo  Shefin  Mully  Ully 
Gue,  most  mighty  emperor  of  Lilliput,  delight  and  terror 
of  the   universe,  whose   dominions  extend  five  thousand 

t  Skyresh  Bolgolam  is  most  probably  the  Duke  of  Argyle,  who  was 
greatly  incensed  at  Swift's  attacks  on  the  Scottish  nation,  in  his 
"Public  Spirit  of  the  Whigs."  In  an  unfinished  poem  on  himself,  the 
Dean  alludes  to  the  proclamation  offering  three  hundred  pounds  for 
the  discovery  of  the  author  of  this  pamphlet,  which  was  issued  at 
the  demand  rather  than  the  request  of  the  Duke  of  Argyle,  he  con- 
ducted all  the  Scotch  lords  in  a  body  to  demand  an  audience  of  the 
QueeHj  and  seek  reparation. 

The  Queen  incensed,   his  services  forgot. 
Leaves  him  a  victim  to  the  vengeful  Scot; 
Now  through  the  realm  a  proclamation  spread. 
To  fix  a  price  on  his  devoted  head, 
While,   innocent,  he  scorns  ignoble  flight; 
His  watchful  friends  preserve  him  by  a  sleight. 

See  also  the  character  given  of  Argyle  in  Swift's  notes  on  Macky— 
Appendix    to   Lilliput,    I. 

*  In  the  description  of  Lilliput,  in  the  follov*^ing  articles,  Gulliver 
seems  to  have  had  England  more  immediately  in  view.  In  his  descrip- 
tion of  Blefuscu,  he  seems  to  intend  the  people  and  kingdom  of 
France.— Orrery. 

It  is  perhaps  in  order  to  qualify  this  parallel  that  Swift  has  changed 
the  relative  description  of  the  two  countries,  and  made  Lilliput  the 
continent,  Blefuscu  the  island.— Sir  Walter  Scott. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  85 

blustrogs  (about  twelve  miles  in  circumference)  to  the  ex- 
tremities of  the  globe;  monarch  of  all  monarchs,  taller  than 
the  sons  of  men;  whose  feet  press  down  to  the  center,  and 
whose  head  strikes  against  the  sun;  at  whose  nod  the 
princes  of  the  earth  shake  their  knees;  pleasant  as  the 
spring,  comfortable  as  the  summer,  fruitful  as  autumn, 
dreadful  as  winter.  His  most  sublime  Majesty  proposes  to 
the  Man-mountain,  lately  arrived  at  our  celestial  dominions, 
the  following  articles,  which,  by  a  solemn  oath,  he  shall  be 
obHged  to  perform: 

L  The  Man-mountain  shall  not  depart  from  our  domin- 
ions without  our  license  under  our  great  seal. 

n.  He  shall  not  presume  to  come  into  our  metropolis 
without  our  express  order;  at  which  time,  the  inhabitants 
shall  have  two  hours'  warning  to  keep  within  doors. 

HI.  The  said  Man-mountain  shall  confine  his  walks  to 
our  principal  highroads,  and  not  offer  to  walk  or  lie  down 
in  a  meadow  or  field  of  corn. 

IV.  As  he  walks  the  said  roads,  he  shall  take  the  utmost 
care  not  to  trample  upon  the  bodies  of  any  of  our  loving 
subjects,  their  horses  or  carriages,  nor  take  any  of  our 
subjects  into  his  hands  without  their  own  consent. 

V.  If  an  express  requires  extraordinary  dispatch,  the 
Man-mountain  shall  be  obliged  to  carry,  in  his  pocket,  the 
messenger  and  horse  a  six  day's  journey  once  in  every 
moon,  and  return  the  said  messenger  back  (if  so  required) 
safe  to  our  imperial  presence. 

VI.  He  shall  be  our  ally  against  our  enemies  in  the  island 
of  Blefuscu,  and  do  his  utmost  to  destroy  their  fleet,  which 
is  now  preparing  to  invade  us. 

VII.  That  the  said  Man-mountain  shall,  at  his  time  of 
leisure,  be  aiding  and  assisting  to  our  workmen,  in  helping 
to  raise  certain  great  stones,  towards  covering  the  wall  of 
the  principal  park,  and  other  royal  buildings. 


86  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

VIIL  That  the  said  Man-mountain  shall  in  two  moons* 
time,  deliver  in  an  exact  survey  of  the  circumference  of  our 
dominions,  by  a  computation  of  his  own  paces  round  the 
coast. 

Lastly,  That,  upon  his  solemn  oath  to  observe  the  above 
articles,  the  said  Man-mountain  shall  have  a  daily  allowance 
of  meat  and  drink  sufficient  for  the  support  of  1724  of  our 
subjects,  with  free  access  to  our  royal  person,  and  other 
marks  of  our  favor.  Given  at  our  palace  at  Belfaborac,  the 
twelfth  day  of  the  ninety-first  moon  of  our  reign. 

I  swore  and  subscribed  to  these  articles  with  great  cheer- 
fulness and  content,  although  some  of  them  were  not  so 
honorable  as  I  could  have  wished;  which  proceeded  wholly 
from  the  malice  of  Skyresh  Bolgolam,  the  high-admiral; 
whereupon  my  chains  were  immediately  unlocked,  and  I 
was  at  full  liberty.  The  emperor. himself,  in  person,  did  me 
the  honor  to  be  by  at  the  whole  ceremony.  I  made  my  ac- 
knowledgments by  prostrating  myself  at  his  majesty's  feet; 
but  he  commanded  me  to  rise ;  and  after  many  gracious  ex- 
pressions, which  to  avoid  the  censure  of  vanity  I  shall  not 
repeat,  he  added,  ''that  he  hoped  I  should  prove  a  useful 
servant,  and  well  deserve  all  the  favors  he  had  already  con- 
ferred upon  me,  or  might  do  for  the  future." 

The  reader  may  please  to  observe,  that  in  the  last  article 
of  the  recovery  of  my  liberty,  the  emperor  stipulates  to  allow 
me  a  quantity  of  meat  and  drink  sufificient  for  the  support 
of  1724  Lilliputians.  Some  time  after,  asking  a  friend  at 
court  how  they  cam.e  to  fix  on  that  determined  number,  he 
told  me  that  his  majesty's  mathematicians,  having  taken  the 
height  of  my  body  by  the  help  of  a  quadrant,  and  finding  it 
exceeded  theirs  in  the  proportion  of  twelve  to  one,  they  con- 
cluded from  the  similarity  of  their  bodies,  that  mine  must 
contain  at  least  1724  of  theirs,  and  consequently  would  re- 
quire as  much  food  as  v/as  necessary  to  support  that  number* 
/  of  Lilliputians.  By  which  the  reader  may  conceive  an  idea 
^  of  the  ingenuity  of  that  people,  as  well  as  the  prudent  and 
exact  economy  of  so  great  .a  prince. 


■J 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  87 


CHAPTER  VI. 

MTLDENDO,  THE  METROPOLIS  OF  LILLIPUT,  DESCRIBED, 
TOGETHER  WITH  THE  EMPEROR'S  PALACE— A  CONVER- 
SATION BETWEEN  THE  AUTHOR  AND  A  PRINCIPAL 
SECRETARY,  CONCERNING  THE  AFFAIRS  OF  THAT  EM- 
PIRE—THE AUTHOR  OFFERS  TO  SERVE  THE  EMPEROR  IN 
HIS  WARS. 

Liberty  having  been  granted  me,  my  first  request  was  for 
permission  to  see  Mildendo,  the  metropoHs;  which  the  em- 
peror readily  allowed  me,  but  with  a  special  charge  to  do  no 
hurt  either  to  the  inhabitants  or  their  houses.  The  people 
had  notice,  by  proclamation,  of  my  design  to  visit  the  town. 
The  wall,  which  compassed  it,  is  two  feet  and  a  half  high, 
and  at  least  eleven  inches  broad,  so  that  a  coach  and  horses 
maybe  driven  safely  round  it;  and  it  is  flanked  with  strong 
towers  at  ten  feet  distance.  I  stepped  over  the  great  western 
gate,  and  passed  very  gently  and  sidelong  through  the  two 
principal  streets  only  in  my  short  waistcoat,  for  fear  of  dam- 
aging the  roofs  and  eaves  of  the  houses  with  the  skirts  of 
my  coat.  I  walked  with  utmost  circumspection,  to  avoid 
treading  on  any  stragglers  who  might  remain  in  the  streets ; 
although  the  orders  were  very  strict,  that  all  people  should 
keep  in  their  houses  at  their  own  peril.  The  Garret  windows 
and  tops  of  houses  were  so  crowded  with  spectators,  that  I 
thought  in  all  my  travels  I  had  not  seen  a  more  populous 
place.  The  city  is  an  exact  square,  each  side  of  the  wall 
being  five  hundred  feet  long.  The  two  great  streets,  which 
run  across  and  divide  it  into  four  quarters,  are  five  feet  wide. 
The  lanes  and  alleys,  which  I  could  not  enter,  but  only 
viewed  them  as  I  passed,  are  from  twelve  to  eighteen  inches. 
The  town  is  capable  of  holding  five  hundred  thousand  souls : 
The  houses  are  from  three  to  five  stories;  the  shops  and 
markets  well  provided. 

The  emperor's  palace  is  in  the  center  of  the  city,  where 
the  two  great  streets  meet.  It  is  enclosed  by  a  wall  of  two 
feet  high,  and  twenty  feet  distance  from  the  building.     I 


85  GULLIVER'S    TRAVELS. 

had  his  majesty's  permission  to  step  over  the  wall;  and 
the  space  being  so  wide  between  that  and  the  palace,  I  could 
easily  view  it  on  every  side.  The  outward  court  is  a  square 
of  forty  feet,  and  includes  two  other  courts;  in  the  inmost 
are  the  royal  apartments,  which  I  was  very  desirous  to  see, 
but  found  it  extremely  difficult;  for  the  great  gates,  from 
one  square  into  another,  were  but  eighteen  inches  wide. 
Now  the  buildings  of  the  outer  court  were  at  least  five  feet 
high,  and  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  stride  over  them  with- 
out infinite  damage  to  the  pile,  though  the  walls  were  strong- 
ly built  of  hewn  stone,  and  four  inches  thick.  At  the  same 
time  the  emperor  had  a  great  desire  that  I  should  see  the 
magnificence  of  his  palace;  but  this  I  was  not  able  to  do  till 
three  days  after,  which  I  spent  in  cutting  down  with  my 
knife  some  of  the  largest  trees  in  the  royal  park,  about  a 
hundred  yards  distance  from  the  city.  Of  these  trees  I 
made  two  stools,  each  about  three  feet  high,  and  strong 
enough  to  bear  my  weight.  The  people  having  received 
notice  a  second  time,  I  went  again  through  the  city  to  the 
palace  with  my  two  stools  in  my  hands.  When  I  came  to 
the  side  of  the  outer  court,  I  stood  upon  one  stool  and  took 
the  other  in  my  hand ;  this  I  lifted  over  the  roof,  and  gently 
set  it  down  on  the  space  between  the  first  and  second  court, 
which  was  eight  feet  wide.  I  then  stepped  over  the  building 
very  conveniently  from  one  stool  to  the  other,  and  drew 
up  the  first  one  after  me  with  a  hooked  stick.  By  this  con- 
trivance I  got  into  the  inmost  court ;  and,  lying  down  upon 
my  side,  I  applied  my  face  to  the  windows  of  the  middle 
stories,  which  were  left  open  on  purpose,  and  discovered 
the  most  splendid  apartments  that  can  be  imagined. 

There  I  saw  the  empress  and  the  young  princess,  in  their 
several  lodgings,  with  their  chief  attendants  about  them. 
Her  imperial  majesty  was  pleased  to  smile  very  graciously 
upon  me,  and  gave  me  out  of  the  window  her  hand  to 
kiss.* 

But  I  shall  not  anticipate  the  reader  with  further  descrip- 
tions of  this  kind,  because  I  reserve  them  for  a  greater  work, 
which  is  now  almost  ready  for  the  press ;  containing  a  gen- 
eral description  of  this  empire,  from  its  first  erection,  through 
a  long  series  of  princes;  with  a  particular  account  of  their 

*  The  character  of  the  empress  is  manifestly  taken  from  that  of 
Queen  Anne— good-natured,  but  easily  duped. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  89 

wars  and  politics,  laws,  learning  and  religion,  their  plants 
and  animals;  their  peculiar  manners  and  customs,  with  other 
matters  very  curious  and  useful ;  my  chief  design  at  present 
being  only  to  relate  such  events  and  transactions  as  hap- 
pened to  the  public  or  to  myself  during  a  residence  of  about 
nine  months  in  that  empire. 

One  morning,  about  a  fortnight  after  I  had  obtained  my 
liberty,  Reldresal,  principal  secretary  (as  they  style  him)  for 
private  affairs,  came  to  my  house  attended  only  by  one  ser- 
vant. He  ordered  his  coach  to  wait  at  a  distance,  and  de- 
sired I  would  give  him  an  hour's  audience;  which  I  readily 
consented  to,  on  account  of  his  quality  and  personal  merits, 
as  well  as  of  the  many  good  ofifices  he  had  done  me  during 
my  solicitations  at  court.  I  offered  to  lie  down  that  he  might 
the  more  conveniently  reach  my  ear;  but  he  chose  rather  to 
let  me  hold  him  in  my  hand  during  our  conversation.  He 
began  with  compliments  on  my  liberty;  said  "he  might  pre- 
tend to  some  merit  in  it;"  but  nr^ever  added,  "that  if  it 
had  not  been  for  the  present  situation  of  things  at  court, 
perhaps  I  might  not  have  obtained  it  so  soon.  For,"  said  he, 
"as  flourishing  a  condition  as  we  may  appear  to  be  in  to 
foreigners,  we  labor  under  tw^o  mighty  evils;  a  violent  fac- 
tion at  home,  and  the  danger  of  an  invasion,  by  a  most  potent 
enemy,  from  abroad.  As  to  the  first,  you  are  to  understand, 
that  for  above  seventy  moons  past  there  have  been  two 
struggling  parties  in  this  empire,  under  the  names  of  Tra- 
mecksan  and  Slamecksan^  f  from  the  high  and  low  heels  of 
their  shoes,  by  which  they  distinguish  themselves.  It  is  al- 
leged, indeed,  that  the  high-heels  are  most  agreeable  to  our 
ancient  constitution;  but,  however  this  may  be,  his  majesty 
has  determined  to  make  us  only  of  low  heels  in  the  adminis- 
tration of  the  government,  and  all  officers  in  the  gift  of  the 
crown,  as  you  cannot  but  observe :  and  particularly  that  his 
majesty's  imperial  heels  are  lower  at  least  by  a  drurr  than 
any  of  his  court  {drurr  \s  a  measure  about  the  fourteenth 
part  of  an  inch).  The  animosities  between  these  two  parties 
run  so  high,  that  they  will  neither  eat  nor  drink  nor  talk 
with  each  other.     We  compute  the  Tramecksan,    or  high 

t  High-church  and  Low-church,  or  Whig  and  Tory.  As  every  ac- 
cidental difference  between  man  and  man  in  person  and  circumstances 
is  by  this  work  rendered  extremely  contemptible,  so  speculative 
differences  are  shown  to  be  equally  ridiculous,  when  the  zeal  with 
which  they  are  opposed  and  defended  too  much  exceeds  their  im- 
portance.—Hawkesworth, 


9e  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

heels,  to  exceed  us  in  number;  but  the  power  is  wholly  on 
our  side.  We  apprehend  his  imperial  highness,  the  heir  to 
the  crown,  to  have  some  tendency  towards  the  high  heels; 
at  least,  we  can  plainly  discover  that  one  of  his  heels  is 
higher  than  the  other,  which  gives  him  a  hobble  in  his  gait/''' 
Now,  in  the  midst  of  these  intestine  disquiets,  we  are  threat- 
ened with  an  invasion  from  the  island  of  Blefuscu,  which  is 
the  other  great  empire  of  the  universe,  almost  as  large  and 
powerful  as  this  of  his  majesty.  For  as  to  what  we  have 
heard  you  afHrm,  that  there  are  other  kingdoms  and  states 
in  the  world  inhabitated  by  human  creatures  as  large  as 
yourself,  our  philosophers  are  in  much  doubt,  and  would 
rather  conjecture  that  you  dropped  from  the  moon,  or  one 
of  the  stars ;  because  it  is  certain  that  a  hundred  mortals  of 
your  bulk  would  in  a  short  time  destroy  all  the  fruits  and 
cattle  of  his  majesty's  domains;  besides,  our  histories  of 
six  thousand  moons  make  no  mention  of  any  other  regions 
than  the  two  great  empires  of  Lilliput  and  Blefuscu.  Which 
two  mighty  powers  have,  as  I  was  going  to  tell  you,  been 
engaged  in  a  most  obstinate  war  for  six-and-thirty  moons 
past.  It  began  upon  the  following  occasion:  it  is  allowed 
on  all  hands,  that  the  primitive  way  of  breaking  eggs,  be- 
fore we  eat  them,  was  upon  the  larger  end;  but  his  present 
majesty's  grandfather,  while  he  was  a  boy,  going  to  eat  an 
egg,  and  breaking  it  according  to  the  ancient  practice,  hap- 
pened to  cut  one  of  his  fingers;  whereupon  the  emperor, 
his  father,  published  an  edict,  commanding  all  his  subjects, 
upon  great  penalties,  to  break  the  smaller  end  of  the  eggs.f 
The  people  so  highly  resented  this  \a.w,  that  our  histories  tell 
us,  there  have  been  six  rebellions  raised  on  that  account: 
wherein  one  emperor  lost  his  life,J  and  another  his  crown. § 

*  Georg-e,  Prince  of  Wales,  afterwards  Georg-e  II.,  was  at  this  time 
vehement  in  his  hostility  to  his  father's  ministers:  like  all  heirs- 
apporent  since  the  accession  of  the  house  of  Brunswick,  he  chose  his 
political  friends  among-  the  parties  most  opposed  to  the  court,  calling 
pround  him  both  the  discontented  Whigs  and  the  displaced  Tories. 
We  learn  from  a  letter  of  Mrs.  Howard,  that  the  Prince  was  greatly 
aroused  at  this  description  of  his  hobbling  between  the  two  political 
parties.  On  his  accession  to  the  throne,  which  took  place  shortly 
after  the  publication  of  Gulliver,  he  was  easily  induced  by  Oueen 
Caroline  to  continue  S^'r  Robert  Vv''alpole  at  the  head  of  affairs:  an 
unexpected  chang-e,  which  greatly  disappointed  Swift  and  his  friends. 

t  The  controversy  respecting  the  sacraments  between  the  Romish 
and  Anglican  churches  is  humorously  portrayed  in  the  dispute  about 
the  proper  end  of  breaking  an  egg.  The  emperor  who  cut  liis  fingers 
is  manifestly  Henry  VII.,  who  was  so  sadly  perplexed  about  the 
sacrament  of  marriage  and  the  difficulty  of  divorce. 

.t  Charles  I,  §  James  II. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  91 

These  civil  commotions  were  constantly  fomented  by  the 
monarchs  of  Blefuscu;  and  when  they  were  quelled,  the  ex- 
iles always  fled  for  refuge  to  that  empire.  It  is  computed 
that  eleven  thousand  persons  have  at  several  times  suffered 
death,  rather  than  submit  to  break  their  eggs  at  the  smaller 
end.  Many  hundred  large  volumes  have  been  published 
upon  this  controversy;  but  the  books  of  the  Big-endians 
have  been  long  forbidden,  and  the  whole  party  rendered  in- 
capable by  the  law  of  holding  employments.  During  the 
course  of  these  troubles,  the  emperors  of  Blefuscu  did  fre- 
quently expostulate  by  their  embassadors,  accusing  us  of 
making  a  schism  in  religion  by  offending  against  a  funda- 
mental doctrine  of  our  great  prophet  Lustrog,  in  the  fifty- 
fourth  chapter  of  the  Blundercral,  which  is  their  Alcoran. 
This,  however,  is  thought  to  be  mere  strain  upon  the  text; 
for  the  words  are  these  iCthat  all  true  believers  break  their 
eggs  at  the  convenient  end ;^  and  which  is  the  convenient 
end  seems,  in  my  humble  opinion,  to  be  left  to  every  man's 
conscience,  or  at  least  iii  the  power  of  the  chief  magistrate 
to  determine.^'' 

"Now,  the  Big-endian  exiles  have  found  so  much  credit  in 
the  emperor  of  Blefuscu's  court,  and  so  much  private  assist- 
ance and  encouragement  from  their  party  here  at  home, 
that  a  bloody  war  had  been  carried  on  between  the  two  em- 
,  pires  for  six-and-thirty  moons,  with  variovis  success;  dur- 
^,  ing  which  time  we  have  lost  forty  capital  ships,  and  a  much 
greater  number  of  smaller  vessels,  together  with  thirty  thou- 
sand of  our  best  seamen  and  soldiers;  and  the  damage  re- 
ceived by  the  enemy  is  reckoned  to  be  somew^iat  greater 
than  ours.f    However,  they  have  now  equipped  a  numerous 

*  Swift  appears  to  intimate  that  the  great  point  at  issue  between 
the  Romish  and  English  churches,  the  sacrament  of  the  Eucharist, 
has  been  decided  too  positively  by  the  theologians  on  both  sides;  he 
intimates  that  the  question  of  transubstantiation  should  be  left  open 
to  the  faith  of  the  receiver,  in  accordance  wih  the  memorable  lines 
of  Queen  Elizabeth. 

Christ  was   the  word  that  spake  it, 
He  took  the  bread,  and  brake  it; 
And  what  that  word  did  make  it, 
That  I  believe  and  take  it. 

t  This  description  of  the  Big-endian  war  is  designed  for  the  wars 
of  the  revolution,  which  were  terminated  by  the  peace  of  Utrecht, 
and  the  enumeration  of  the  losses  and  slaughter  occasioned  by  the 
war  is  Intended  to  vindicate  Harley  and  Bolingbroke  for  bringing  it 
to  a  conclusion. 


92  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

fleet,  and  are  just  preparing  to  make  a  descent  upon  us ;  and 
his  imperial  majesty,  placing  great  confidence  in  your  valor 
and  strength,  has  commanded  me  to  lay  this  accoimt  of  his 
affairs  before  you." 

I  desired  the  secretary  to  present  my  humble  duty  to  the 
emperor;  and  to  let  him  know,  "that  I  thought  it  would  not 
become  me,  who  was  a  foreigner,  to  interfere  with  parties; 
but  I  was  ready,  with  the  hazard  of  my  life,  to  defend  his 
person  and  state  against  all  invaders.J 


CHAPTER   V. 

THE  AUTHOR,  BY  AN  EXTRAORDINARY  STRATAGEM,  PRE- 
VENTS AN  INVASION— A  HIGH  TITLE  OF  HONOR  IS  CON- 
FERRED UPON  HIM— AMBASSADORS  ARRIVE  FROM  THE 
EMPEROR  OP  BLEFUSCU,  AND  SUE  FOR  PEACE  —  THi:. 
EMPRESS'S  APARTMENTS  ON  FIRE  BY  ACCIDENT;  THE 
AUTHOR  INSTRUMENTAL  IN  SAVING  THE  REST  OF  THE 
PALACE. 

Lilliput  is  part  of  the  continent,  but  the  empire  of  Blefuscu 
is  an  island  situated  to  the  north-east  of  the  mainland,  from 
which  it  is  parted  only  by  a  channel  of  eight  hundred  yards 
wide.  I  had  not  yet  seen  it,  and  upon  this  notice  of  an  in- 
tended invasion,  I  avoided  appearing  on  that  side  of  the 
coast,  for  fear  of  being  discovered  by  some  of  the  enemy's 
ships,  who  had  received  no  intelligence  of  me;  all  intercourse 
between  the  two  empires  having  been  strictly  forbidden  dur- 
ing the  war,  upon  pain  of  death,  and  an  embargo  laid  by 
our  emperor  upon  all  vessels  whatsoever.  I  communicated 
to  his  majesty  a  project  I  had  formed  of  seizing  the  enemy's 
whole  fleet;  which,  as  our  scouts  assured  us,  lay  at  ancher 
in  the  harbor,  ready  to  sail  with  the  first  fair  wind.  I  con- 
sulted the  most  experienced  seamen  upon  the  depth  of 
the  channel,  which  they  had  often  plumbed;  who  told  me, 
that  in  the  middle,  at  high  water,  it  was  seventy  glumgluffs 
deep,  which  is  about  six  feet  of  European  measure;  and  the 

t  Gulliver,  without  examining-  the  subject  of  dispute,  readily  en- 
gsiged  to  defend  the  emperor  against  invasion,  because  he  knew  that 
no  such  monarch  had  a  rig-ht  to  invade  the  dominion  of  another,  for 
the  propagation  of  truth.— Hawkesworth. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  93 

rest  of  it  fifty  glumgluffs  at  most.  I  walked  toward  the  north- 
east coast,  over  against  Blefuscu;  where,  lying  down  behind 
a  hillock,  I  took  out  my  small  perspective  glass,  and  viewed 
the  enemy's  fleet  at  anchor,  consisting  of  about  fifty  men-of- 
war,  and  a  great  number  of  transports;  I  then  came  back 
to  my  house,  and  gave  orders  (for  which  I  had  a  warrant) 
for  a  great  quantity  of  the  strongest  cable  and  bars  of  iron. 
The  cable  was  about  as  thick  as  packthread,  and  the  bars 
of  the  length  and  size  of  a  knitting-needle.  I  trebled  the 
cable  to  make  it  stronger,  and  for  the  same  reason,  I  twisted 
three  of  the  iron  bars  together,  bending  the  extremities  into 
a  hook.  Having  thus  fixed  fifty  hooks  to  as  many  cables, 
I  went  back  to  the  northeast  coast,  and  putting  off  my  coat, 
shoes  and  stockings,  walked  into  the  sea  in  my  leathern 
jerkin,  about  half  an  hour  before  high  water.  I  waded  with 
what  haste  I  could,  and  swam  in  the  middle  about  thirty 
yards,  till  I  felt  ground.  I  arrived  at  the  fleet  in  less  than 
half  an  hour.  The  enemy  were  so  frighted  when  they  saw 
me,  that  they  leaped  out  of  their  ships,  and  swam  to  shore, 
where  there  could  not  be  fewer  than  thirty  thousand  souls: 
I  then  took  my  tackling,  and  fastening  a  hook  to  the  hole 
at  the  prow  of  each,  I  tied  all  the  cords  at  the  end.  While 
I  was  thus  employed,  the  enemy  discharged  several  thousand 
arrows,  many  of  which  stuck  in  my  hands  and  face;  and  be- 
sides the  excessive  smart,  gave  me  much  disturbance  in  my 
work.  My  greatest  apprehension  was  for  mine  eyes,  wliich 
I  should  have  infallibly  lost,  if  I  had  not  suddenly  thought  of 
an  expedient.  I  kept,  among  other  little  necessaries^  a  pair 
of  spectacles  in  a  private  pocket,  which,  as  I  observed  before, 
had  escaped  the  emperor's  searches.  These  I  took  out  and 
fastened  as  strongly  as  I  could  upon  my  nose,  and  thus 
armed,  went  on  boldly  with  my  work,  in  spite  of  the  enemy's 
arrows,  many  of  which  struck  against  the  glasses  of  my 
spectacles,  but  without  any  other  effect,  farther  than  a  little 
to  discompose  them.  I  had  now  fastened  all  the  hooks,  and 
taking  the  knot  in  my  hand,  began  to  pull;  but  not  a  ship 
would  stir,  for  they  were  all  too  fast  held  by  their  anchors, 
so  that  the  boldest  part  of  my  enterprise  remained.  I  there- 
fore let  go  the  cord,  and  leaving  the  hooks  fixed  to  the 
ships,  I  resolutely  cut  with  my  knife  the  cables  that  fastened 
the  anchors,  receiving  about  two  hundred  arrows  in  my  face 
and  hands;  then  I  took  up  the  knotted  end  of  the  cables, 


94  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

to  which  my  hooks  were  tied,  and  with  great  ease  drew 
fifty  of  the  enemy's  largest  men-of-war  after  me. 

The  Blefuscudians,  who  had  not  the  least  imagination  of 
what  I  intended,  were  at  first  confounded  with  astonishment. 
They  had  seen  me  cut  the  cables,  and  thought  my  design  was 
only  to  let  the  ships  run  adrift,  or  fall  foul  on  each  other; 
but  when  they  perceived  the  whole  fleet  moving  in  order, 
and  saw  me  pulling  at  the  end,  they  set  up  such  a  scream  of 
grief  and  despair  as  is  almost  impossible  to  describe  or  con- 
ceive.* When  I  had  got  out  of  danger,  I  stopped  awhile  to 
pick  out  the  arrows  that  stuck  in  my  hands  and  face;  and 
rubbed  on  some  of  the  same  ointment  that  was  given  me  at 
my  first  arrival,  as  I  have  formerly  mentioned.  I  then  took 
off  my  spectacles,  and  waiting  about  an  hour  till  the  tide 
was  a  little  fallen,  I  waded  through  the  middle  with  my 
cargo,  and  arrived  safe  at  the  royal  port  of  Lilliput 

The  emperor  and  his  whole  court  stood  on  the  shore,  ex- 
pecting the  issue  of  this  great  adventure.  They  saw  the 
ships  move  forward  in  a  large  half-moon,  but  could  not 
discern  me,  who  was  up  to  my  breast  in  water.  When  I  ad- 
vanced to  the  middle  of  the  channel,  they  were  yet  more  in 
pain,  because  I  was  under  water  to  my  neck.  The  emperor 
concluded  me  to  be  drowned,  and  that  the  enemy's  fleet 
was  approaching  in  a  hostile  manner:  but  he  was  soon 
eased  of  his  fears ;  for  the  channel  growing  shallower  every 
step  I  made,  I  came  in  a  short  time  within  hearing,  and  hold- 
ing up  the  end  of  the  cable,  by  which  the  fleet  was  fastened, 
I  cried  in  a  loud  voice,  "Long  live  the  most  puissant  king  of 
Lilliput!"  This  great  prince  received  me  at  my  landing  with 
all  possible  encomiums,  and  created  me  a  nardac  upon  the 
spot,  which  is  the  highest  title  of  honor  among  them.f 

His  majesty  desired  I  would  take  some  other  opportunity 
of  bringing  all  the  rest  of  the  enemy's  ships  into  his  ports. 

*  The  capture  of  the  Blefuscudian  fleet  is  mtended  to  represent 
the  efforts  made  by  the  Tory  ministry  to  secure  the  naval  supremacy 
of  England  in  the  negotiations  at  Utrecht,  and  particularly  their  suc- 
cess in  procuring  the  demolition  of  Dunkirk,  and  the  cession  of  several 
French  colonies. 

t  The  treaty  at  Utrecht  was  at  first  very  popular  with  the  Enerlish 
people;  and  it  was  regarded  by  Queen  Anne  as  a  blessing  to  England 
and  to  Europe.  The  promised  demolition  of  Dunkirk,  and  its  surrender 
as  a  guarantee  to  General  Hill  were  regarded  not  only  by  the  court, 
but  by  the  nation,  as  an  advantage  scarcely  inferior  to  what  the 
capture  of  the  Blefuscudian  fleet  would  have  been  to  the  emperor 
of  Lilliput.  Swift  wrote  a  song  on  the  event,  which  was  very  popular. 
The  following  were  the  concluding  stanzas: 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  95 

And  so  unmeasurable  is  the  ambition  of  princes,  that  he 
seemed  to  think  of  nothing  less  than  reducing  the  whole  em- 
pire of  Blefuscu  into  a  province,  and  governing  it  by  a  vice- 
roy; of  destroying  the  Big-endian  exiles,  and  compelling 
that  people  to  break  the  smaller  end  of  their  eggs,  by  which 
he  would  remain  the  sole  monarch  of  the  whole  world.  But 
I  endeavored  to  divert  him  from  this  design,  by  many  argu- 
ments dravv^n  from  the  topics  of  policy  as  well  as  justice:  and 

I  plainly  protested,  ''tJiaf  T  wnplr]  pf^r^r  Vtf  an  iimtr^impiit  of 
hrinp-ino-  a  ire-f^  pr»r1  Kro^r^  ppnpip  jrifr^  c;1nvpry  ;'#  and  when  the 

matter  v/as  debated  in  council,  the  wisest  part  of  the  ministry 
was  of  my  opinion.* 

This  open,  bold  declaration  of  mine  was  so  opposite  to  the 
schemes  and  politics  of  his  imperial  majesty,  that  he  could 
neY.er  forgive  me.  He  mentioned  it  in  a  very  artful  manner 
at  council,  v/here  I  was  told  that  some  of  the  wisest  ap- 
peared at  least,  by  their  silence,  to  be  of  my  opinion;  but 
others,  who  were  my  secret  enemies,  could  not  forbear  some 
expressions  which  by  a  side  wind  reflected  on" me;  and  from 
this  time  began  an  intrigue  between  his  maje^tv.  and  a  junto 
of  ministers,  maliciously  bent  against  me,  which  broke  out 

Our  merchant  ships  may  cut  the  line. 

And  not  be  snapped  by  privateers; 

And  commoners   who   love  good  wine. 

Will  drink  it  now  as  well  as  peers; 

Landed  men   shall  have  their  rent. 

Yet  our  stocks  rise  cent,   per  cent.; 
The  Dutch  from  hence  shall  no  more  millions  drain; 

We'll  bring  on  us  no  more  debts. 

Nor  with  bankrupts  fill  gazettes; 
And  the  Queen  shall  enjoy  her  own  again. 

The  towns  we  took  ne'er  did  us  good; 
Wha,t  signified  the  French  to  beat? 
We   spent   our   money   and  our  blood 
To  make  the  Dutchmen  proud  and  great; 

But  the  lord  of  Oxford  swears 

Dunkirk  never  shall  be  theirs; 
The  Dutch-hearted  Whigs  may  rail  and  complain; 

But  true  Englishmen  may  fill 

A  health  to  General  Hill, 
For  the  Queen  now  enjoys  her  own  again. 

*  The  conquest  of  France  was  seriously  believed  feasible  by  many 
friends  of  the  Duke  of  Marlborough;  but  when  the  siege  of  such  a 
petty  fortress  as  Bouchain  occupied  the  greater  part  of  one  campaign, 
the  best  English  statesman  saw  there  was  little  chance  of  such  a 
consummation.  Mesnager,  if  the  memoirs  published  in  his  name  be 
not  a  forgery,  declares  that  the  Tories  used  to  annoy  the  Whigs  by 
asking,  "How  long  will  it  take  to  conquer  Prance  at  the  rate  of  a 
Bouchain  per  summer?"  In  the  debates  on  the  treaty  of  Utrecht  (A. 
D.  1713),  the  advocates  for  peace  had  decidedly  the  best  of  the  argu- 
ment, so  that  Gulliver  is  justified  In  saying  that  "the  wisest  were  of 
his  opinion." 


96  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

in  less  than  two  months,  and  had  like  to  have  ended  in  nr 
utter  destructiory  Ut  so  little  weight  are  the  greatest  ser- 
vices to  prmcesTwhen  put  into  the  balance  with  a  refusal  to 
gratify  their  passions. 


About  lhrer"""Wt5?Ks  after  this  exploit  there  arrived  a  sol- 
emn embassy  from  Blefuscu,  with  humble  offers  of  a  peace : 
which  was  soon  concluded,  upon  conditions  very  disadvan- 
tageous to  our  emperor,  wherewith  I  shall  not  trouble  the 
reader.  There  were  six  ambassadors  with  a  train  of  about 
five  hundred  persons;  and  their  entry  was  very  magnificent, 
suitable  to  the  grandeur  of  their  master  and  the  importance 
of  their  business.  When  their  treaty  was  finished,  wherein 
I  did  them  several  good  offices  by  the  credit  I  now  had,  or 
at  least  appeared  to  have,  at' court,  their  excellencies,  who 
were  privately  told  how  much  I  had  been  their  friend,  made 
me  a  visit  in  form.  They  began  with  many  compliments 
upon  my  valor  and  generosity,  invited  me  to  that  kingdom 
in  the  emperor  their  master's  name,  and  desired  me  to  show 
them  some  proofs  of  my  prodigious  strength,  of  which  they 
had  heard  so  many  wonders;  wherein  I  readily  obliged  them, 
but  shall  not  trouble  the  reader  with  the  particulars. 

When  I  had  for  some  time  entertained  their  excellencies, 
to  their  infinite  satisfaction  and  surprise,  I  desired  they 
would  do  me  the  honor  to  present  my  most  humble  respects 
to  the  emperor  their  master,  the  renown  of  whose  virtues 
had  so  justly  filled  the  whole  world  with  admiration,  and 
whose  royal  person  I  resolved  to  attend  before  I  returned 
to  my  own  country.  Accordingly,  the  next  time  I  had  the 
honor  to  see  our  emperor,  I  desired  his  general  license  to 
wait  on  the  Blefuscudian  monarch,  which  he  was  pleased  to 
oj^jit  mej_as  I  could  perreive.  in  g^j^^ry  cold  manner:  but 
could  not  guess  the  reason,  till  I  had  a  whisper  from  a  certain 
person,  "that  Flimnap  and  Bolgolam  had  represented  my 
intercourse  with  those  ambassadors  as  a  mark  of  djsaffec- 
JtiflJl.;"  from  which  I  am  sure  my  heart  was  wholly  free.    And 

this  was  the  fij-^^  time  T  heo-an   \n  (j-rtnrf^iyp  Qnm^4mpp/p^ 

idea' of  courts ^qministers.* 

*  The  charge  raised  against  Gulliver  for  his  innocent  intercourse 
with  the  ambassadors  from  Blefuscu  alludes  to  the  chief  accusation 
broug-ht  ag'ainst  Boling-broke  (A.  D.  1715),  which  was  his  treasonable 
intimacy  with  the  French  ministers  during-  the  negotiations  of  the 
peace  of  Utrecht.  Bolingbroke's  journey  to  France  to  negotiate  a 
separate  peace,  and  his  clandestine  intercourse  with  the  agents  of 
Louis,  were,  however,  of  such  a  suspicious  nature,  that  he  aid  not 
think  it  prudent  to  wait  for  his  trial. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  97 

It  is  to  be  observed,  that  these  ambassadors  spoke  to  me 
by  an  interpreter,  the  languages  of  both  empires  differing 
as  much  from  each  other  as  any  two  in  Europe,  and  each 
nation  priding  itself  upon  the  antiquity,  beauty,  and  energy 
of  their  own  tongue,  with  an  avowed  contempt  for  that  of 
their  neighbor:  yet  our  emperor,  standing  upon  the  advan- 
tage he  had  got  by  the  seizure  of  their  fleet,  obliged  them  to 
deliver  their  credentials,  and  make  their  speech,  in  the  Lilli- 
putian tongue.  And  it  must  be  confessed,  that  from  the 
great  intercourse  of  trade  and  commerce  between  both 
realms,  from  the  continual  reception  of  exiles  which  is 
mutual  among  them,  and  from  the  custom,  in  each  empire, 
to  send  their  young  nobility  and  richer  gentry  to  the  other, 
in  order  to  polish  themselves  by  seeing  the  world,  and  un- 
derstanding men  and  manners;  there  are  a  few  persons  of 
distinction,  or  merchants,  or  seamen,  who  dwell  in  the  mari- 
time parts,  but  what  can  hold  conversation  in  both  tongues ; 
as  I  found  some  weeks  after,  when  I  w^ent  to  pay  my  respects 
to  the  emperor  of  Blefuscu,  which,  in  the  midst  of  great  mis- 
fortunes through  the  malice  of  my  enemies,  proved  a  very 
happy  adventure  to  me,  as  I  shall  relate  in  its  proper  place. 

The  reader  may  remember,  that  when  I  signed  those  arti- 
cles upon  which  I  recovered  my  liberty,  they  were  some 
which  I  disliked,  upon  account  of  their  being  too  servile; 
neither  could  anything  but  an  extreme  necessity  have  forced 
me  to  submit.  But  being  now  a  nardac  of  the  highest  rank 
in  that  empire,  such  offices  w^ere  looked  upon  as  below  my 
dignity,  and  the  emperor  (to  do  him  justice)  never  once  men- 
tioned them  to  me.  However,  it  was  not  long  before  I  had 
an  opportunity  of  doing  his  majesty,  at  least  as  I  then 
thought,  a  most  signal  service.  I  was  alarmed  at  midnight 
with  the  cries  of  many  hundred  people  at  my  door;  by 
which,  being  suddenly  awakened,  I  was  in  some  kind  of 
terror.  I  heard  the  word  burglum  repeated  incessantly :  sev- 
eral of  the  emperor's  court,  making  their  way  through  the 
crowd,  entreated  me  to  come  immediately  to  the  palace, 
where  her  imperial  majesty's  apartment  was  on  fire,  by  the 
carelessness  of  a  maid  of  honor,  who  fell  asleep  while  she 
was  reading  a  romance.  I  got  up  in  an  instant;  and  orders 
being  given  to  clear  the  way  before  me,  and  it  being  like- 
wise a  moonshine  night,  I  made  a  shift  to  get  to  the  palace 
without  trampHng  on  any  of  the  people.  I  found  they  had 
7 


98  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

already  applied  ladders  to  the  walls  of  the  apartment,  and 
were  well  provided  with  buckets,  but  the  water  was  at  some 
distance.     These  buckets  were  about  the  size  of  a  large 
thimble,  and  the  poor  people  supplied  me  with  them  as  fast 
as  they  could;   but  the  flame  was  so  violent  that  they  did 
little  good.    I  might  easily  have  stifled  it  with  my  coat,  which 
I.  unfortunately  left  behind  me  for  haste,  and  came  away 
only  in  my  leather  jerkin.    The  case  seemed  wholly  desper- 
ate and  deplorable ;  and  this  magnificent  palace  would  have 
infallibly  been  burnt  down  to  the  ground,  if,  by  a  presence 
of  mind  unusual  to  me,  I  had  not  suddenly  thought  of  an 
expedient.    I  had  the  evening  before  drunk  plentifully  of  a 
m.ost  delicious  wine   called  glimigrim   (the   Blefuscudians 
called  it  flunec),  but  ours  is  esteemed  the  better  sort,  which 
is  very  diuretic.    By  the  luckiest  chance  in  the  world,  I  had 
not  discharged  myself  of  any  part  of  it.    The  heat  I  had  con- 
tracted by  coming  very  near  the  flames,  by  laboring  to 
J    quench  them,  made  the  wine  begin  to  operate  by  urine, 
■  which  I  voided  in  such  a  quantity,  and  applied  so  well  to 
/  the  proper  places,  that  in  three  minutes  the  fire  was  wholly 
I   extinguished,  and  the  rest  of  that  noble  pile,  which  had  cost 
^^so  many  ages  in  erecting,  preserved  from  destruction. 

It  was^now  daylight,  and  I  returned  to  my  house  without 
waiting  to  congratulate  with  the  emperor;  because,  although 
I  had  done  a  very  eminent  piece  of  service,  yet  I  could  not 
tell  how  his  majesty  might  resent  the  manner  by  which  I  had 
performed  it:  for,  by  the  fundamental  laws  of  the  realm,  it 
is  capital  for  any  person,  of  what  quality  soever  to  make 
water  within  the  precincts  of  the  palace.  But  I  was  little 
comforted  by  a  message  from  his  majesty,  "that  he  would 
give  orders  to  the  grand  judiciary  for  passing  my  pardon  in 
form ;"  which,  however,  I  could  not  obtain ;  and  I  was  pri- 
vately assured,  that  the  empress,  conceiving  the  greatest 
abhorrence  of  what  I  had  done,  removed  to  the  most  distant 
side  of  the  court,  firmly  resolved  that  those  buildings  should 
never  be  repaired  for  her  use;  and,  in  the  presence  of  her 
chief  confidants,  could  not  forbear  vowing  revenge.* 

*  Swift,  in  description  of  the  empress's  hostility  on  account  of  his 
indecency,  and  her  forgetfulness  of  the  essential  service  which  he  had 
rendered  alludes  to  the  prejudice  of  Oueen  Anne,  who  was  more  in- 
dignant at  the  immorality  of  his  writings  than  grateful  for  his  sup- 
port of  her  favorite  ministry.  The  Queen  had  actually  nominated 
Swift  to  an  English  bishopric,  when  Dr.  Sharp,  Archbishop  of  York, 
went  to  the  Queen,   showed  her  the  "Tale  of  a  Tub,"  and  declared 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 


CHAPTER  Vl.t 

OP  THE  INHABITANTS  OP  LILLIPUT;  THEIR  LEARNING, 
LAWS,  AND  CUSTOMS;  THE  MANNER  OP  EDUCATING 
THEIR  CHILDREN— THE  AUTHOR'S  WAY  OP  LIVING  IN 
THAT  COUNTRY— HIS   VINDICATION   OP  A  GREAT   LADY. 

Quarrels  and  intrigues  are  so  common  in  courts,  that  I 
need  not  dwell  on  the  calumnies  devised  by  the  envious  to 
prejudice  the  mind  of  the  empress  still  further  against  me, 
and  I  shall  therefore  turn  to  a  dififerent  subject.  Although 
I  intend  to  leave  the  description  of  this  empire  to  a  particular 
treatise,  yet,  in  the  meantime,  I  am  content  to  gratify  the 
curious  reader  with  some  general  ideas.  As  the  common 
size  of  the  natives  is  somewhat  under  six  inches  high,  so 
there  is  an  exact  proportion  in  all  other  animals,  as  well  as 
plants  and  trees;  for  instance,  the  tallest  horses  and  oxen 
are  between  four  and  five  inches  in  height,  the  sheep  an  inch 
and  a  half,  more  or  less;  their  geese  about  the  bigness  of  a 
sparrow,  and  so  the  several  gradations  downwards,  till  you 
come  to  the  smallest,  which  to  my  sight  were  almost  invis- 
ible ;  but  nature  had  adapted  the  eyes  of  the  Lilliputians  to 

that  the  author  of  such  a  work  could  not  be  made  a  prelate  without 
bringing-  disgrace  on  the  church.  Hence  Swift,  in  the  lines  on  himself 
complains  that  he  is 

By    an    old pursued, 

A  crazy  prelate  and  a  royal  prude. 
And  again 

York  is  from  Lambeth  sent  to  show  the  Queen, 
A  dangerous  treatise  writ  against  the  spleen, 
Which,   by  the  style,   the  matter,   and  the  drift, 
'Tis  thought  could  be  the  work  of  none  but  Swift. 

The  Archbishop  was  eagerly  seconded  by  the  Duchess  of  Somerset, 
whom  Swift  had  bitterly  lampooned.  The  Queen  could  never  after- 
wards be  persuaded  to  revoke  her  determination,  and  Swift  thence- 
forth always  spoke  of  her  in  terms  of  contempt. 

t  In  a  German  critique  on  Gulliver's  Travels,  this  chapter  has 
been  rather  severely  censured,  because  the  author  has  neglected  to 
give  any  particulars  of  the  Lilliputian  climate  and  its  ettects;  a  source 
from  which  the  renewer  avers,  that  many  circumstances  might  have 
been  deduced  which  would  give  an  additional  plausibility  to  the 
narrative.  It  must  be  observed,  however,  in  Swift's  justification,  that 
this  neglect  of  observing  climate  and  its  peculiarities  is  common  w 
all  the  early  narratives  of  voyagers,  and  also  that  for  the  purposes 
of  his  satire  it  was  necessary  to  identify  the  Lilliputian  climate  with 
that  of  England. 


u-^' 


100  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


all  objects  proper  for  their  view;  the|^  see  With  great  exact- 
ji^SS,  but  at  no  jxeat  distajice.  And  W-s^tow  the  sharpness 
of  their  sight  towards  objects  that  are  near,  I  have  been 
much  pleased  with  a  cook  pulling  a  lark,  which  is  not  so 
large  as  a  common  fly;  and  a  young  girl  threading  an  in- 
visible needle  with  invisible  silk. 

Their  tallest  trees  are  about  seven  feet  high:  I  mean  some 
of  those  in  the  great  royal  park,  the  tops  whereof  I  could 
but  just  reach  with  my  fist  clenched.  The  other  vegetables 
are  in  the  same  proportion ;  but  this  I  leave  to  the  reader's 
imagination. 

I  shall  say  but  little  at  present  of  their  learning,  which  for 

m.any  ages  has  flourished  in  all  its  branches  among  them; 

but  their  manner  of  writing  is  very  peculiar,  being  neither 

from  the  left  to  the  right,  like  the  Europeans;    nor,  from 

the  right  to  the  left,  like  the  Arabians;    nor  from  up  to 

down,  like  the  Chinese;   but  aslant,  from  one  corner  of  the 

paper  to  the  other,  like  ladies  in  England. 

/'^They  bury  their  dead  with  their  heads  directly  downward, 

(  because  they  hold  an  opinion  that  in  eleven  thousand  moons 

\they  are  all  to  rise  again;   in  which  period  the  earth  (which 

/  they  conceive  to  be  flat)  will  turn  upside  down,  and  by  this 

\  means  they  shall,  at  their  resjirrectkm^  be  foundr^ady-sland- 

]  ingu©a-4lieir_jeet.     The  learned  among  them  confess  the 

j  absurdity  of  this  doctrine ;  but  the  practice  still  continues,  in 

cornpUance  to  the  vulgar. 

There  are  some  laws  and  customs  in  this  empire  very 
peculiar;  and  if  they  were  not  so  directly  contrary  to  those 
of  my  own  dear  country,  I  should  be  tempted  to  say  a  little 
in  their  justification.  It  is  only  to  be  wished  they  were  as 
well  executed.  The  first  I  shall  mention,  relates  to  inform- 
ers_^All  crimes  against  the  state  are  punished  here  with  the 
^utmost  severity;  but  if  the  person  accused  makes  his  inno- 
cence plainly  to  appear  upon  his  trial;  the  accuser  is  imme- 
diately put  to  an  ignominious  death:  and  out  of  his  goods 
or  lands  the  innocent  person  is  quadruply  recompensed  for 
tlie  loss  of  hisjime,  for  the  danger  he  underwent,  for  the 
harclship  of  his  imprisonment,  and  for  all  the  charges  he  has 
been  at  in  making  his  defense;  or,  if  that  fund  be  deficient, 
it  is  largely  supplied  by  the  crown.  The  emperor  also  con- 
fers on  him  some  public  mark  of  his  favor,  and  proclamation 
IS  made  of  his  innocence  through  the  whole  city. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  101 

They  look  upoi/toudj/ a  greater  crime  than  theft,  and 
therefore  seldom  tSfftopunish  it  withjkatlu  for  they  al- 
lege, that  care  and  vigilance,  with  a  very  common  under- 
standing, may  preserve  a  man's  goods  from  thieves,  but 
honesty  has  no  fence  against  superior  cunning;  and  since  it 
is  necessary  that  there  should  be  a  perpetual  intercourse  of 
buying  and  selling,  and  dealing  upon  credit,  where  fraud  is 
permitted  and  connived  at,  or  has  no  law  to  punish  it,  the 
honest  dealer  is  always  undone,  and  the  knave  gets  the  ad- 
vantage. I  remember,  when  I  was  once  interceding  with  the 
king  for  a  criminal  who  had  wronged  his  master  of  a  great 
sum  of  money,  which  he  had  received  by  order,  and  ran  away 
with;  and  happening  to  tell  his  majesty  by  way  of  extenua- 
tion, that  it  was  only  a  breach  of  trust,  the  emperor  thought 
it  monstrous  in  me  to  offer  as  a  defense  the  greatest  aggrava- 
tion of  the  crime ;  and  truly  I  had  little  to  say  in  return,  far- 
ther than  the  common  answer,  that  different  nations  had 
dififerent  customs ;  for,  I  confess  I  was  heartily  ashamed.* 

Although  we  call  rewards  and  punishments  the  two  hinges 
upon  which  all  government  turns,  yet  I  could  never  observe 
this  maxim  to  be  put  in  practice  by  any  nation,  except  that 
of  Lilliput.  Whoever  can  there  bring  sufificient  proof  that 
he  has  strictly  observed  the  laws  of  his  country  for  seventy- 
three  moons,  has  a  claim  to  certain  privileges,  according  to 
his  quality  and  condition  of  life,  with  a  proportionable  sum 
of  money  out. of  a  fund  appropriated  for  that  use:  he  like- 
wise acquires  the  title  of  snil-pall,  or  legal,  which  is  added 
to  his  name,  but  does  not  descend  to  his  posterity.  And 
these  people  thought  it  a  prodigious  defect  of  policy  among 
us,  when  I  told  them  our  lav/s  were  enforced  only  by  penal- 
ties, \dlliOut..ai2X^£ention  of  reward.  It  is  upon  this  account 
that  the  image  oT~Justice7"m^heir  courts  of  judicature,  is 
formed  with  six  eyes,  two  before,  as  many  behind,  and  on 
each  side  one,  to  signify  circumspection ;  with  a  bag  of  gold 
open  in  her  right  hand,  and  a  sword  sheathed  in  her  left,  to 
show  that  she  is  more  disposed  to  reward  than  to  punish. 

In  choosing  persons  for  all  employments,  they  have  more 
regard  to  p-onH  rnnmU  than  to  great  abilities:  for,  since 
government  is  necessary  to  mankind,  they  believe  that  the 
common  size  of  human  understanding  is  fitted  to  some  sta- 

*  An  act  of  Parliament  has  been  since  passed,  by  which  some 
breaches  of  trust  have  been  made  capital.— Of  ig. 


102  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

tion  or  other;  and  that  Providence  never  intended  to  make 
the  management  of  public  affairs  a  mystery  to  be  compre- 
hended only  by  a  few  persons  of  sublime  genius,  of  which 
there  seldom  are  three  born  in  an  age:  but  they  suppose 
truth,  justice,  temperance,  and  the  like,  to  be  in  every  man's 
power;  the  practice  of  vv^hich  virtues,  assisted  by  experience 
and  a  good  intention,  would  qualify  any  man  for  the  service 
of  his  country,  except  v/here  a  course  of  study  is  required. 
But  they  thought  the  want  of  moral  virtues  was  so  far  from 
being  supplied  by  superior  endowments  of  the  mind,  that 
employments  could  never  be  put  into  such  dangerous  hands 
as  those  of  a  person  so  qualified;  and  at  least,  that  the  mis- 
talces  committed  by  ignorance,  in  a  virtuous  disposition, 
would  never  be  of  such  fatal  consequence  to  the  public  weal, 
as  the  practice  of  a  man  whose  inclinations  led  him  to  be 
corrupt,  and  who  had  great  abilities  to  manage,  to  multiply, 
and  to  defend  his  corruptions. 

In  like  manner,  the  disbelief  of  a  Divine  Providence  ren- 
ders  a  man  incapable  of  holding  any  public  station;  for 
/since  kings  avow  themselves  to  be  the  de2uties  of  Provi- 
dence, the  Lilliputians  think  nothing  can  be  more  absurd 
than  for  a  prince  to  employ  such  men  as  disovv^n  the  author- 
ity under  which  he  acts. 

In  relating  these  and  the  following  laws,  I  would  only  be 
understood  to  mean  the  original  institutions,  and  not  the 
most  scandalous  corruptions,  into  which  these  people  are 
fallen  by  the  degenerate  nature  of  man.  For,  as  to  that  in- 
famous practice  of  acquiring  great  employments  by  dancing 
on  the  ropes,  or  badges  of  favor  and  distinction  by  leaping 
over  sticks  and  creeping  under  them,  the  reader  is  to  observe 
that  they  were  first  introduced  by  the  grandfather  of  the  em- 
peror now  reigning,  and  grew  to  the  present  height  by  the 
gradual  increase  of  party  and  faction.* 

Ingratitude  is  among  them  a  capital  crime,  as  we  read  it 
to  have  been  in  some  other  countries;  for  they  reason  thus: 
that  whosoever  makes  ill  returns  to  his  benefactor,  must 
needs  be  a  common  enemy  to  the  rest  of  mankind,  from 
whom  he  has  received  no  obligation,  and  therefore  such  a 
man  is  not  fit  to  live. 

Their  notions  relating  to  the  duties  of  parents  and  chil- 

*  The  author  alludes  to  the  prostitution  of  honors,  and  the  lavish 
distribution  of  titles,  in  the  reign  of  James  I. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  103 

dren  differ  extremely  from  ours.  For  since  the  con  June-  ^ 
tion  of  male  and  female  is  founded  upon  the  great  law  of  ^ 
nature,  in  order  to  propagate  and  continue  the  species,  the 
Lilliputians  will  needs  have  it,  that  men  and  women  are 
joined  together,  like  other  animals,  by  the  motives  of  con- 
cupiscence; and  that  their  tenderness  toward  their  young 
proceeds  from  the  like  natural  principle:  for  which  reason, 
they  will  never  allow  that  a  child  is  under  any  obligation  to 
his  father  for  begetting,  him^  or  to  his  mother  for  brmging 
him  mto  the  world:  which,  considering  the  miseries  of 
human  life,  was  neither  a  benefit  in  itself,  nor  intended  so 
by  his  parents,  whose  thoughts,  in  their  love  encounters, 
were  otherwise  employed.*  Upon  these,  and  the  like  rea- 
sonings, their  opinion  is,  that  parents  are  the  last  of  all 
others  to  be  trusted  with  the  education  of  their  own  children ;  (, 
and  therefore  they  have  in  every  town  public  nurseries, 
where  all  parents,  except  cottagers  and  laborers,  are  obliged 
to  send  their  infants  of  both  sexes  to  be  reared  and  edu- 
cated, when  they  come  to  the  age  of  twenty  moons,  at  which 
time  they  are  supposed  to  have  some  rudiments  of  docility. 
These  schools  are  of  several  kinds,  suited  to  different  qual- 
ities and  both  sexes.  They  have  certain  professors  well 
skilled  in  preparing  children  for  such  a  condition  of  life 
as  befits  the  rank  of  their  parents,  and  their  own  capacities, 
as  well  as  inclinations.  I  shall  first  say  something  of  the 
male  nurseries,  and  then  of  the  female. 

The  nurseries  for  males  of  noble  or  eminent  birth,  are 
provided  with  grave  and  learned  professors,  and  their  sev- 
eral deputies.    The  clothes  and  food  of  the  children  are  plain  o 
and  simple.    They  are  bred  up  in  the  principles  of  honor,         n^ 
justice,  courage,  modesty,  clemency,  religion,  and  love  of!  (^'^ 
their  country;  they  are  always  employed  in  some  business,  -* 
except  in  the  times  of  eating  and  sleeping,  which  are  very 
short,  and  two  hours  for  diversions,  consisting  of  bodily 
exercises.    They  are  dressed  by  men  till  four  years  of  age, 
and  then  are  obliged  to  dress  themselves,  although  their 
quality  be  ever  so  great;  and  the  women  attendants,  who 
are  aged  proportionably  to  ours  at  fifty,  perform  only  the 
most  menial  ofiices.    They  are  never  suffered  to  converse 

*  Sir  Walter  Scott  is  of  opinion  that  this  idea  is  borrowed  from 
Cyrano  Bergerac's  Voyage  to  tlie  Moon,  where  he  finds  a  people  with 
whom  it  was  the  rule  that  parents  should  obey  their  children. 


104  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

with  servants,  but  go  together,  in  smaller  or  greater  num- 
bers, to  take  their  diversions,  and  always  in  the  presence 
of  a  professor  or  one  of  his  deputies;  whereby  they  avoid 
those  early  bad  impressions  of  folly  and  vice,  to  which  our 
children  are  subject.  Their  parents  are  suffered  to  see  them 
only  twice  a  year;  the  visit  is  to  last  but  an  hour;  they  are 
allowed  to  kiss  the  child  at  meeting  and  parting;  but  a  pro- 
fessor, who  always  stands  by  on  those  occasions,  will  not 
suffer  them  to  whisper,  or  use  any  fondling  expressions, 
or  bring  any  presents  of  toys,  sweetmeats,  and  the  like. 

The  pension  from  each  family  for  the  education  and  en- 
tertainment of  a  child,  upon  failure  of  due  payment,  is  levied 
by  the  emperor's  officers. 

The  nurseries  for  children  of  ordinary  gentlemen,  mer- 
chants, traders,  and  handicrafts,  are  managed  proportion- 
ably  after  the  same  manner;  only  those  designed  for  trades 
are  put  out  apprentices  at  eleven  years  old:  whereas  those 
of  persons  of  quality  continue  in  their  exercises  till  fifteen, 
which  answers  to  twenty-one  with  us;  but  the  confinement 
is  gradually  lessened  for  the  last  three  years. 

In  the  female  nurseries,  the  young  girls  of  quality  are 
educated  much  like  the  males,  only  they  are  dressed  by 
orderly  servants  of  their  own  sex;  but  always  in  the  pres- 
ence of  a  professor  or  deputy,  till  they  come  to  dress  them- 
selves, which  is  at  five  years  old.  And  if  it  be  found  that 
these  nurses  ever  presume  to  entertain  the  girls  with  fright- 
]  ful  or  foolish  stories,  or  the  common  follies  practiced  by 
1  chambermaids  among  us,  they  are  publicly  whipped  thrice 
I  about  the  city,  imprisoned  for  a  year,  and  banished  for  life 
tothfi^^ostj^solaiejiaitotljie^^^  Thus  the  3^oung 

laHies  there  are  as  much  ashamed  of  being  cowards  and 
fools  as  the  men,  and  despise  all  personal  ornaments  beyond 
decency  and  cleanness:  neither  did  I  perceive  any  differ- 
ence in  their  education  made  by  their  difference  of  sex, 
only  that  the  exercises  of  the  females  were  not  altogether 
so  robust;  and  that  some  rules  ^ere  given  them  relating  to 
domestic  life,  and  a  smaller  compass  of  learning  was  en- 
joined them:  for  their  maxim  is,' that  among  people  of  qual- 
ity, a  wife  should  be  always  a  reasonable  and  agreeable 
companion,  because  she  cannot  always  be  young.  When 
the  girls  are  twelve*years  old,  which  among  them  is  the 
marriageable  age,  their  parents  or  guardians  take  them 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  105 

home,  with  great  expressions  of  gratitude  to  the  professors, 
and  seldom  without  the  tears  of  the  young  lady  and  her 
companions. 

In  the  nurseries  of  the  females  of  the  meaner  sort,  the 
children  are  instructed  in  all  kinds  of  work  proper  for  their 
sex,  and  their  several  degrees;  those  intended  for  appren- 
tices are  dismissed  at  seven  years  old,  the  rest  are  kept  until 
eleven. 

The  meaner  families  who  have  children  at  these  nurseries 
are  obliged,  beside  their  annual  pension,  which  is  as  low  as 
possible,  to  return  to  the  steward  of  the  nursery  a  small 
monthly  share  of  their  gettings,  to  be  a  portion  for  the  child ; 
and  therefore  all  parents  are  limited  in  their  expenses  by  the 
law.  For  the  Lilliputians  think  nothing  can  be  more  unjust, 
than  for  people,  in  subservience  to  their  own  appetites,  to 
bring  children  into  the  world,  and  leave  the  burden  of  sup- 
porting  them^n  the  pubHc.  As  to  persons  of  quality,  they 
give  security  to  appropriate  a  certain  sum  for  each  child, 
suitable  to  their  condition:  and  these  funds  are  always 
managed  with  good  husbandry  and  the  most  exact  justice. 

The  cottagers  and  laborergj^eep  their  children  at  home., 
their  business  being  to  till  and  cultivate  the  earth,  and  there- 
fore their  education  is  of  little  mnsegi^ence  to  the  public; 
but  the  old  and  diseased  among  them  are  supported  by  hos- 
pitals; for  hpgging-i.q  a  trade  unknown  in  this  xrapixe. 

And  here  it  may,  perhaps,  divert  the  curious  reader,  to 
give  some  account  of  my  domestics,  and  my  manner  of  living 
in  this  country,  during  a  residence  of  nine  months  and 
thirteen  days.  Having  a  head  mechanically  turned,  and 
being  likewise  forced  by  necessity,  I  had  made  for  myself 
a  table  and  chair  convenient  enough,  out  of  the  largest  trees 
in  the  royal  park.  Two  hundred  seamstresses  were  em- 
ployed to  make  me  shirts  and  linen  for  m.y  bed  and  table, 
all  of  the  strongest  and  coarsest  kind  they  could  get,  which, 
however,  they  were  forced  to  quilt  together  in  several  folds, 
for  the  thickest  was  some  degrees  finer  than  lawn.  Their 
linen  is  usually  three  inches  wide,  and  three  feet  make  a 
piece.  The  seamstresses  took  my  measure  as  I  lay  on  the 
ground,  one  standing  at  my  neck,  and  another  at  my  mid- 
leg,  with  a  strong  cord  extended,  that  each  held  by  the  end, 
while  a  third  measured  the  length  of  the  cord  with  a  rule 
an  inch  long.     Then  they  measured  my  right  thumb,  and 


106  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

desired  no  more;  for  by  a  mathematical  computation,  that 
twice  round  the  thumb  is  once  round  the  wrist,  and  so  on 
to  the  neck  and  waist,  and  by  the  help  of  my  old  shirt,  which 
I  displayed  on  the  ground  before  them  for  a  pattern;  they 
fitted  me  exactly.  Three  hundred  tailors  were  employed 
in  the  same  manner  to  make  me  clothes ;  but  they  had  an- 
other contrivance  for  taking  miy  measure.  I  kneeled  down, 
cind  they  raised  a  ladder  from  the  ground  to  my  neck;  upon 
this  ladder  one  of  them  miounted,  and  let  fall  a  plumb-line 
from  my  collar  to  the  floor,  which  just  answered  the  length 
of  my  coat;  but  my  waist  and  arms  I  measured  myself. 
When  my  clothes  were  finished,  which  was  done  in  my 
house  (for  the  largest  of  theirs  would  not  have  been  able 
to  hold  them)  they  looked  like  the  patchwork  made  by  the 
ladies  in  England,  only  that  mine  were  all  of  a  color. 

I  had  three  hundred  cooks  to  dress  my  victuals,  in  little 
convenient  huts  built  about  my  house,  where  they  and  their 
families  lived,  and  prepared  me  two  dishes  apiece.  I  took 
up  twenty  waiters  in  my  hand,  and  placed  them  on  the  table ; 
a  hundred  more  attended  below  on  the  ground,  some  with 
dishes  of  meat,  and  some  with  barrels  of  wine  and  other 
liquors  slung  on  their  shoulders,  all  of  which  the  waiters 
above  drew  up,  as  I  wanted,  in  a  very  ingenious  manner  by 
certain  corxls,  as  we  draw  a  bucket  up  a  well  in  Europe.  A 
dish  of  their  meat  was  a  good  mouthful,  and  barrel  of  their 
liquor  a  reasonable  draught.  Their  mutton  yields  to  ours, 
but  their  beef  is  excellent.  I  have  had  a  sirloin  so  large, 
that  I  have  been  forced  to  make  three  bites  of  it;  but  this 
is  rare.  My  servants  were  astonished  to  see  me  eat  it,  bones 
and  all,  as  in  otir  country  we  do  the  leg  of  a  lark.  Their 
geese  and  turkeys  I  usually  ate  at  a  mouthful,  and  I  confess 
they  far  exceed  ours.  Of  their  smaller  fowl  I  could  take  up 
twenty  or  thirty  at  the  end  of  my  knife. 

One  day  his  imperial  majesty,  being  informed  of  my  way 
of  living,  desired  ''that  himself  and  his  royal  consort,  with 
the  young  princes  of  the  blood  of  both  sexes,  might  have  the 
happiness,"  as  he  was  pleased  to  call  it,  "of  dining  with  me." 
They  came  accordingly,  and  I  placed  them  in  chairs  of  state, 
upon  my  table,  just  over  against  me,  with  their  guards  about 
them.  Flimnap,  the  lord  high-treasurer,  attended  there 
likewise,  with  his  white  stafif;  and  I  observed  he  often 
looked  on  me  wnth  a  S£ujr  countenance,  which  I  would  not 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  107 

seem  to  regard,  but  ate  more  than  usual,  in  honor  to  my  dear 
country,  as  well  as  to  fill  the  court  with  admiration.  I  have 
some  private  reasons  to  believe,  that  this  visit  from  his  maj- 
esty gave  Flimnap  an  opportunity  of  doing  me  ill  offices 
to  his  master.  That  minister  had  always  been  my  secret 
enemy,  though  he  outwardly  caressed  me  more  than  was 
usual  to  the  moroseness  of  his  nature.  He  represented 
to  the  emperor  "the  low  condition  of  his  treasury;  that  he 
was  forced  to  take  up  money  at  a  great  discount;  that  ex- 
chequer bills  would  not  circulate  under  nine  per  cent,  below^ 
par;  that  I  had  cost  his  majesty  above  a  million  and  a  half 
of  sprugs  (their  greatest  gold  coin,  about  the  bigness  of  a 
spangle) ;  and,  upon  the  whole,  it  would  be  advisable  in  the 
emperor  to  take  the  first  fair  occasion  of  dismissing  me."'''' 

I  am  here  obliged  to  vindicate  the  reputation  of  an  excel- 
lent lady,  who  was  an  innocent  sufferer  on  my  account.  The 
treasurer  took  a  fancy  to  be  jealous  of  hig  wife^  from  the 
nialice  of  some  evil  tongues,  who  informed  him  that  her 
Grace  had  taken  a  violent  affection  for  my  person,  and  the 
court  scandal  ran  for  some  time,  that  she  once  came  pri- 
vately to  my  lodgings.  This  I  solemnly  declare  to  be  a 
most  infamousjalsehood,  without  any  grounds,  farther  than 
that  her  Grace  was  pleased  to  treat  me  with  all  innocent 
marks  of  freedom  and  friendship.  I  own  she  came  often 
to  my  house,  but  always  publicly,  nor  ever  without  three 
more  in  the  coach,  who  were  usually  her  sister  and  young 
daughter,  and  some  particular  acquaintance;  but  this  was 
common  to  many  other  ladies  of  the  court;  and  I  still  ap- 
peal to  my  sen^ants  round,  whether  they  at  any  time  saw 
a  coach  at  my  door  without  knowing  what  persons  were 
in  it.  On  those  occasions,  when  a  servant  had  given  me 
notice,  my  custom  was  to  go  immediately  to  the  door;  and 
after  paying  my  respects,  to  take  up  the  coach  and  two 
horses  very  carefully  in  my  hands  (for,  if  there  were  six 
horses,  the  postilion  afways  unharnessed  four),  and  place 
them  on  a  table,  where  I  had  fixed  a  movable  rim  quite 
round,  of  five  inches  high,  to  prevent  accidents ;  and  I  have 
aften  had  four  coaches  and  horses  at  once  on  my  table, 
full  of  company,  while  I  sat  in  my  chair,  leaning  my  face 

*  Sir  Robert  Walpole  was  often  reproached  with  false  economy- 
no  uncommon  topic  of  railing  against  the  Whigs.  The  parsimonious 
disposition  of  George  I.  has  been  already  noticed. 


108  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

towards  them;  and  when  I  was  engaged  with  one  set,  the 
coachmen  would  gently  drive  the  others  round  my  table.  I 
have  passed  many  an  afternoon  very  agreeably  in  these  con- 
versations. But  I  defy  the  treasurer,  or  his  two  informers 
(I  will  name  them,  and  let  them  make  the  best  of  it),  Clustril 
and  Drunlo  to  prove  that  any  person  ever  came  to  me 
incognito,  except  the  secretary  Reldresal,  who  was  sent  by 
express  command  of  his  imperial  majesty,  as  I  have  before 
related.  I  should  not  have  dwelt  so  long  upon  this  par- 
ticular, if  it  had  not  been  a  point  wherein  the  reputation 
of  a  great  lady  is  so  nearly  concerned/'''  to  sa)^  nothing  of 
my  own ;  though  I  then  had  the  honor  to  be  a  nardac,  which 
the  treasurer  himself  is  not;  for  all  the  world  knows  that 
he  is  only  a  glum-glum,  a  title  inferior  by  one  degree,  as 
that  of  a  marquise  is  to  a  duke  in  England;  yet  I  allow,  he 
preceded  me  in  right  of  his  post.  These  false  informations, 
which  I  afterwards  came  to  the  knowledge  of  by  an  accident 
not  proper  to  mention,  made  the  treasurer  show  his  lady 
for  some  time  an  ill  countenance,  and  me  a  worse;  and 
although  he  was  at  last  undeceived  and  reconciled  to  her, 
yet  I  lost  all  credit  with  him,  and  found  my  interest  decline 
very  fast  with  the  emperor  himself,  who  was,  indeed,  too 
much  governed  by  that  favorite. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE  AUTHOR  BEING  INFORMED  OF  A  DESIGN  TO  ACCUSE 
HIM  OF  HIGH  TREASON,  MAKES  HIS  ESCAPE  TO 
BLEFUSCU— HIS  RECEPTION  THERE. 

An  account  of  my  leaving  this  kingdom  may  properly  be 
prefaced  by  some  particulars  of  a  private  intrigue  which  had 
been  for  two  months  forming  against  me.  I  had  been  hith- 
erto, all  my  life,  a  stranger  to  courts  for  which  I  was  un- 
qualified by  the  meanness  of  my  condition.  I  had  indeed 
heard  and  read  enough  of  the  dispositions  of  great  princes 
and  ministers ;  but  never  expected  to  have  found  such  terri- 

*  The  Dean  probably  alludes  to  the  inquiries  made  into  Boling- 
broke's  intrigues  by  the  Committee  of  1715,  and  particularly  that 
which  he  was  suspected  of  having  formed  with  Madame  Tencln,  There 
are  few  passages  in  this  work,  which  can  compete  for  grave  and  quiet 
humor  with  Gulliver's  earnest  defence  of  the  lady's  character. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  109 

ble  effects  of  them  in  so  remote  a  country,  governed,  as  I 
thought,  by  very  different  maxims  from  those  in  Europe. 

When  I  was  just  preparing  to  pay  my  attendance  on  the 
emperor  of  Blefuscu,  a  considerable  person  at  court  (to 
whom  I  had  been  very  serviceable,  at  a  time  when  he  lay 
under  the  highest  displeasure  of  his  imperial  majesty),  came 
to  my  house  very  privately  at  night,  in  a  close  chair,  and, 
without  sending  his  name,  desired  admittance.  The  chair- 
men were  dismissed:  I  put  the  chair,  with  his  lordship  in 
it,  into  my  coat  pocket ;  and  giving  orders  to  a  trusty  serv- 
ant to  say  I  was  indisposed  and  gone  to  sleep,  I  fastened  the 
door  of  my  house,  placed  the  chair  on  the  table,  according 
to  my  usual  custom,  and  sat  down  by  it.  AJter  the  common 
salutations  were  over,  observing  his  lordship's  countenance 
full  of  concern,  and  inquiring  into  the  reason,  he  desired 
''I  would  hear  him  with  patience,  in  a  matter  that  highly 
concerned  my  honor  and  my  life."  His  speech  was  to  the 
following  effect,  for  I  took  notes  of  it  as  soon  as  he  left  me : 

''You  are  to  know,"  said  he,  "that  several  committees  of 
council  have  been  lately  called,  in  the  most  private  manner, 
on  your  account;  and  it  is  but  two  days  since  his  majesty 
came  to  a  full  resolution. 

''You  are  very  sensible  that  Skyresh  Bolgolam  (galbet,  or 
high  admiral)  has  been  your  mortal  enemy,  almost  ever 
since  your  arrival.  His  original  reasons  I  know  not ;  but  his 
hatred  is  increased  since  your  great  success  against  Ble- 
fuscu,  by  which  his  glory  as  admiral  is  much  obscured.  This 
lord,  in  conjunction  with  Flimnap,  the  high-treasurer,  whose 
enmity  against  you  is  notorious  on  account  of  his  lady, 
Limtoc  the  general,  Lalcon  the  chamberlain,  and  Balmuff 
the  grand  justiciary,  have  prepared  articles  of  impeachment 
against  you,  for  treason  and  other  capital  crimes." 

This  preface  made  me  so  impatient,  being  conscious  of 
my  own  merits  and  innocence,  that  I  was  going  to  interrupt 
him;  when  he  entreated  me  to  be  silent,  and  thus  pro- 
ceeded. 

"Out  of  gratitude  for  the  favors  you  have  done  me,  I  pro- 
cured information  of  the  whole  proceedings,  and  a  copy  of 
articles;^'  wherein  I  venture  my  head  for  your  service." 

*  These  articles  ai-e  designed  to  ridicule  the  articles  of  impeachment 
against  Oxford,  Ormond,   and   Bolingbroke,   in  1715. 

There  were  many  who  believed  that,  in  consequence  of  the  numer- 
ous victories  obtained  by  the  Duke  of  Marlborough  and  Prince  Eugene 


110  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


ARTICLES  OF  IMPEACHMENT 

AGAINST 

QUINBUS  FLESTRIN,  THE  MAN-MOUNTAIN. 

ARTICLE  1. 

"Whereas,  by  a  statute  made  in  the  reign  of  his  imperial 
majesty  CaHn  Deffar  Phme,  it  is  enacted,  that  whosever 
shall  make  water  within  the  precincts  of  the  royal  palace, 
shall  be  liable  to  the  pains  and  penalties  of  high-treason; 
notwithstanding,  the  said  Ouinbus  Flestrin,  in  open  breach 
of  the  said  law,  under  color  of  extinguishing  the  fire  kindled 
in  the  apartment  of  his  majesty's  most  dear  imperial  con- 
sort, did  maliciously,  traitorously,  and  devilishly,  by  dis- 
charge of  his  urine,  put  out  the  said  fire  kindled  in  the  same 
apartment,  lying  and  being  within  the  precincts  of  the  said 
royal  palace,  against  the  statute  in  the  case  provided,  etc., 
against  the  duty,  etc. 

ARTICLE  2. 

'That  the  said  Quinbus  Flestrin  having  brought  the  im- 
perial fleet  of  Blefuscu  into  the  royal  port,  and  being  after- 
wards commanded  by  his  imperial  majesty  to  seize  all  the 
other  ships  of  the  said  empire  of  Blefuscu,  and  reduce  that 
empire  to  a  province,  to  be  governed  by  a  viceroy  from 
hence,  and  to  destroy  and  put  to  death  not  only  all  the 
Big-endian  exiles,  but  likewise  all  the  people  of  that  empire 

it  v/ould  have  been  possible  for  the  Allies  to  have  marched  to  Paris, 
and  compelled  Louis  XIV.  to  purchase  peace  by  the  sacrifice  of  a 
large  portion  of  his  dominion.  Swift  so  far  yields  to  popular  prejudice 
as  not  to  contest  the  possibility  of  such  an  exploit  (here  typified  by 
the  complete  conquest  of  Blefuscu);  he  takes  the  higher  ground  of 
national  justice,  and  insinuates  that  if  the  Allies  had  violated  the 
integrity  of  PYance  they  would  have  been  guilty  of  the  very  crime 
which  furnished  a  pretext  for  their  inveterate  hostility  to  Louis  XIV. 
The  frivolous  and  vexatious  character  of  some  of  the'  articles  of  Gul- 
liver's impeachment  is  scarcely  an  exaggeration  of  the  trivial  nature 
of  many  of  the  charges  brought  against  Queen  Anne's  last  cabinet  by 
the  Walpole  administration. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  Ill 

who  would  not  immediately  forsake  the  Big-endian  heresy ; 
he,  the  said  Flestrin,  like  a  false  traitor  against  his  most 
suspicious,  serene,  imperial  majesty,  did  petition  to  be  ex- 
cused from  the  said  service,  upon  pretence  of  unwilling- 
ness to  force  the  consciences,  or  desTroy  the  liberties  and 
lives  of  an  innocent  people.* 

ARTICLE  3. 

'That  whereas  certain  ambassadors  arrived  from  the 
court  of  Blefuscu,  to  sue  peace  in  his  majesty's  court,  he, 
the  said  Flestrin,  did,  like  a  false  traitor,  aid,  abet,  comfort, 
and  divert  the  said  ambassadors,  although  he  knew  them 
to  be  servants  of  a  prince  who  was  lately  an  open  enemy 
to  his  imperial  majesty,  and  in  an  open  war  against  his  said 
majesty. 

ARTICLE  4. 

'That  the  said  Quinbus  Flestrin,  contrary  to  the  duty  of 
a  faithful  subject,  is  now  preparing  to  make  a  voyage  to  the 
court  and  empire  of  Blefuscu,  for  which  he  has  received  only 
verbal  license  from  his  imperial  majesty,  and,  under  color 
of  the  said  license  does  falsely  and  traitorously  intend  to  take 
the  said  voyage,  and  thereby  to  aid,  comfort,  and  abet  the 
emporer  of  Blefuscu,  so  lately  an  enemy,  and  in  open  war 
with  his  imperial  majesty  aforesaid.'' 

"There  are  some  other  articles;  but  these  are  the  most 
important,  of  w^hich  I  have  read  you  an  abstract. 

"In  the  several  debates  upon  this  impeachment,  it  must 
be  confessed  that  his  majesty  gave  many  marks  of  his  great 
lenity;  often  urging  the  services  you  had  done  him,  and  en- 
deavoring to  extenuate  your  crimes.  The  treasurer  and  ad- 
miral insisted  that  you  should  be  put  to  the  most  painful 
and  ignominious  death  by  setting  fire  to  your  house  at 
night;  and  the  general  was  to  attend  with  twenty  thousand 
men,  armed  with  poisoned  arrows  to  shoot  you  on  the  face 
and  hands.  Some  of  your  servants  were  to  have  private 
orders  to  strew  a  poisonous  juice  on  your  shirts  and  sheets, 

*  A  lawyer  thinks  himself  honest,  if  he  does  the  best  he  can  for 
his  client,  and  a  statesman,  if  he  promotes  the  interests  of  his  country ; 
but  the  Dean  here  inculcates  a  higher  notion  of  right  and  wrong,  and 
obligations  to  a  larger  community.— Hawksworth. 


112  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

which  would  soon  make  you  tear  your  own  flesh,  and  die 
in  the  utmost  torture.  The  general  came  into  the  same 
opinion,  so  that  for  a  long  time  there  was  a  majority  against 
you  but  his  majesty  resolving,  if  possible,  to  spare  your 
life,  at  last  brought  off  the  chamberlain. 

''Upon  this  incident,  Reldresal,  principal  secretary  for 
private  affairs,  who  always  approved  himself  your  true 
friend,  was  commanded  by  the  emperor  to  deliver  his  opin- 
ion, which  he  accordingly  did,  and  therein  justified  the  good 
thoughts  you  have  of  him.  He  allowed  your  crimes  to  be 
great,  but  that  still  there  was  room  for  mercy,  the  most 
commendable  virtue  in  a  prince,  and  for  which  his  majesty 
was  so  justly  celebrated.  He  said  the  friendship  between 
you  and  him  was  so  well  known  to  the  world  that  perhaps 
the  most  honorable  board  might  think  him  partial;  how- 
ever, in  obedience  to  the  command  he  had  received,  he 
would  freely  offer  his  sentiments.  That  if  his  majesty,  in 
consideration  of  your  services,  and  pursuant  to  his  own 
merciful  disposition,  would  please  spare  your  life,  and  only 
give  orders  to  put  out  both  your  eyes,  he  humbly  conceived 
that,  by  this  expedient,  justice  might  in  some  measure  be 
satisfied,  and  ^11  the^orlcTapplaud  the  lenity  of  the  emperor, 
^Ts^well  as  the  fair  and  generous  proceedings  of  "those  who 
have  the  honor  To^e  his  counsellors!  1  hat  the  loss  of  your 
eyes  would  be  no  impediment  to  your  bodily  strength,  by 
which  you  might  still  be  useful  to  his  majesty;  that  blind- 
ness is  an  addition  to  courage,  by  concealing  dangers  from 
us;  that  the  fear  you  had  for  your  eyes  v^^as  the  greatest 
difSculty  in  bringing  over  the  enemy's  fleet;  and  it  would 
be  sufiQcient  for  you  to  see  by  the  eyes  of  the  ministers,  since 
the  greatest  princes  do  no  more.* 

'This  proposal  was  received  with  the  utmost  disappro- 
bation by  the  whole  board.  Bolgolam,  the  admiral,  could 
not  preserve  his  temper;  but  rising  up  in  fury,  said,  he  won- 
dered how  the  secretary  durst  presume  to  give  his  opinion 
for  preserving  the  life  of  a  traitor:  that  the  services  you  had  • 
performed  were,  by  all  true  reasons  of  state,  the  great  ag- 

*  The  pretended  merciful  counsel  of  Reldresal,  who  pronosed  a 
commutation  of  punishment,  which,  however,  was  worse  than  death, 
appears  to  be  a  satire  on  those  Whig-s  who  proposed  that  the  Earl 
of  Oxford  and  Boling-broke,  instead  of  being"  impeached  for  high 
treason,  and  thus  broug-ht  in  peril  of  life,  should  only  be  accused  of 
high  misdemeanors,  which  would  justify  their  being-  deprived  of  title 
and  estate,  and  sentenced  to  civil  death.  « 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  113 

gravation  of  your  crimes;  that  you,  who  was  able  to  ex- 
tinguish the  fire  by  discharge  of  urine  in  her  majesty's 
apartment  (which  he  mentioned  with  horror),  might,  at  an- 
other time  raise  an  inundation  by  the  same  means,  to  drown 
the  whole  place;  and  the  same  strength  which  enabled  you 
to  bring  over  the  enemies  fleet,  might  serve,  upon  the  first 
discontent,  to  carry  it  back :  that  he  had  good  reasons  to 
think  you  were  a  Big-endian  in  your  heart;  and;  and,  as 
treason  begins  in  the  heart  before  it  appears  in  overt  acts, 
so  he  accused  you  as  a  traitor  on  that  account,  and  there-^ 
fore  insisted  you  should  be  put  to  death. 

"The  treasurer  was  of  the  same  opinion:  he  showed  to 
what  straits  his  majesty's  revenue  was  reduced,  by  the 
charge  of  maintaining  you,  which  would  soon  grow  insup- 
portable: that  the  secretary's  expedient  of  putting  out 
your  eyes,  was  so  far  from  being  a  remedy  against  this  evil, 
that  it  would  probably  increase  it,  as  is  manifest  from  the 
common  practice  of  blinding  some  kind  of  fowls,  after  which 
they  fed  the  faster  and  grew  sooner  fat;  that  his  sacred 
majesty  and  the  council,  who  are  your  judges,  were,  in  their 
own  consciences,  fully  convinced  of  your  guilt,  which  was 
a  sufficient  argument  to  condemn  you  to  death,  without  the 
formal  proofs  required  by  the  strict  letter  of  the  law.* 

"But  his  imperial  majesty,  fully  determined  against  capi- 
tal punishment,  was  graciously  pleased  to  say,  that  since 
the  council  thought  the  loss  of  your  eyes  too  easy  a  censure, 
some  other  may  be  inflicted  liereafter.f  And  your  friend 
the  secretary,  humbly  desiring  to  be  heard  again,  in  an- 
swer to  what  the  treasurer  had  objected,  concerning  the 
great  charge  his  majesty  was  at  in  maintaining  you,  said, 
that  his  excellency,  who  had  the  sole  disposal  of  the  em- 
peror's revenue,  might  easily  provide  against  that  evil,  by 
gradually  lessening  your  establishment;  by  which,  for  want 

*  There  is  something-  so  odious  in  whatever  is  wrong,  that  even 
those  whom  it  does  not  subject  to  punishment,  endeavor  to  color  it 
with  an  appearance  of  right;  but  the  attempt  is  always  unsuccessful, 
and  only  betrays  a  consciousness  of  deformity  by  showing-  a  desire 
to  hide  it.  Thus  the  Lilliputian  court  pretended  a  right  to  dispense 
with  the  strict  letter  of  the  law  to  put  Gulliver  to  death,  though  by 
the  strict  letter  of  the  law  only  he  could  be  convicted  of  a  crime;  the 
intention  of  the  statute  not  being  to  suffer  the  place  rather  to  be 
burnt  than  so  to  be  extinguished.— Hawkesworth. 

t  This  appears  to  be  directed  against  the  partial  pardon  which  was 
granted  to  Lord  Bolingbroke.  George  I.  could  never  be  persuaded  to 
restore  him  to  his  rights  as  a  peer,  though  Bolingbroke  bribed  the 
Duchess  of  Kendal  to  use  her  powerful  intercession,  and  actually 
induced  her  to  place  his  memorial  in  the  King-'s  own  hand. 
8 


114  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

of  sufficient  food,  you  will  grow  weak  and  faint,  and  lose 
your  appetite,  and  consume  in  a  few  months ;  neither  would 
the  stench  of  your  carcass  be  then  so  dangerous,  when  it 
should  become  more  than  half  diminished :  and  immediate- 
ly upon  your  death,  five  or  six  thousand  of  his  majesty's 
subjects  might,  in  tv/o  or  three  days,  cut  your  flesh  from 
your  bones,  take  it  away  by  cartloads,  and  bury  it  in  distant 
parts,  to  prevent  iiifection,  leaving  the  skeleton  as  a  monu- 
ment of  admiration  to  posterity. 

"Thus  by  the  great  friendship  of  the  secretary,  the  whole 
afifair  was  compromised.  It  was  strictly  enjoined,  that  the 
/  project  of  starving  you  by  degrees  should  be  kept  a  secret; 
but  the  sentence  of  putting  out  your  eyes  was  entered  on 
the  books;  none  dissenting,  except  Bolgolam  the  admiral, 
who,  being  a  creature  of  the  empress,  was  perpetually  in- 
stigated by  her  majesty  to  insist  upon  your  death,  she  hav- 
'  ing  borne  perpetual  malice  against  you,  on  account  of  that 
infamous  and  illegal  method  you  took  to  extinguish  the  fire 
in  her  apartment. 

''In  three  days  your  friend  the  secretary  will  be  directed 
to  come  to  your  house,  and  read  before  you  the  articles  of 
impeachment;  and  then  to  signify  the  great  lenity  and  favor 
of  his  majesty  and  council,  whereby  you  are  only  con- 
demned to  the  loss  of  your  eyes,  which  his  majesty  does 
not  question  you  will  gratefully  and  humbly  submit  to ;  and 
twenty  of  his  majesty's  surgeons  will  attend,  in  order  to  see 
the  operation  well  performed,  by  discharging  very  sharp 
pointed  arrows  into  the  balls  of  your  eyes,  as  you  lie  on  the 
ground. 

''I  leave  to  your  prudence  what  measures  you  will  take; 
and  to  avoid  suspicion,  I  must  immediately  return  in  as 
private  a  manner  as  I  came." 

His  lordship  did  so;  and  I  remained  alone,  under  many 
doubts  and  perplexities  of  mind. 

It  was  a  custom  introduced  by  this  prince  and  his  ministry 
(very  dififerent,  as  I  have  been  assured,  from  the  practice  of 
former  times),  that  after  the  court  had  decreed  any  cruel 
execution,  either  to  gratify  the  monarch's  resentment,  or 
the  malice  of  a  favorite,  the  emperor  always  made  a  speech 
to  his  whole  council,  expressing  his  great  lenity  and  tender- 
ness as  qualities  known  and  confessed  by  the  whole  world. 
This   speech   was   immediately   published  throughout  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  115 

kingdom;*  nor  did  anything  terrify  the  people  so  much, 
as  those  encomiums  on  his  majesty's  mercy;  because  it 
was  observed  that  the  na^re  thesejraij^  were  enlarged  and 
insist^d-^,  the  m^Qreinhuman  was  the  punishment,  and  the 
suB^irmore  innqceni:    YliL  ay  Lo  Tnyself,  I  must  confess,'^\ 

'-Kavmg  never  been  designed  for  a  courtier,  either  by  birth  or  SI 
education,  I  w^^^^^gill  a  judge  of  things,  that  I  could-e^t  (  , 
(^scoY^x-'-^^^'~i^^ii$^C3^n&^i$^^''oi  tTtis  sentence'THSut  con-   / 
ceived  it  (perhaps  erroneously)  rather  to  be  rigorous  than  J 
gentle.    I  sometimes  thought  of  standing  my  trial ;   for,  al- 
though I  could  not  deny  the  facts  alleged  in  the  several 
articles,  yet  I  hoped  they  would  admit  of  some  extenua- 
tion.   But  having  in  my  life  perused  many  state  trials,  which 
I  ever  observed  to  terminate  as  the  judges  thought  fit  to 
direct,  I  durst  not  rely  on  so  dangerous  a  decision,  in  so 
critical   a  juncture,   and   against   such   powerful   enemies. 
Once,  I  was  strongly  bent  upon  resistance;  for,  while  I  had 
liberty,  the  whole  strength  of  that  empire  could  hardly  sub- 
due me,  and  I  might  easily  with  stones  pelt  the  metropoli5^^ 
to  pieces;  but  I  soon  rejected  that  project  with  horror,  by  \     I 
remembering  the  oath   I  had  made  to  the  emperor,  the    V  ^ 
favors   I   had   received   from   him,   and   the   high  title   of  (. 
7iardac  he  conferred  upon  me.     Neither  had   I  so  soon   A     ' 
learned  the  gratitude  of  courtiers,  to  pursuade  my  self  that  j 

^  his  majesty's  present  severities  acquitted  me  of  all  past  ob- 
ligations.! 

At  last  I  fixed  upon  a  resolution  for  which  it  is  probably 
I  may  incur  some  censure,  and  not  unjustly,  for  I  confess 
I  owe  the  preserving  of  mine  eyes,  and  consequently  my 
liberty  to  my  own  great  rashness  and  want  of  experience; 
because,  if  I  had  then  known  the  nature  of  princes  and 
ministers,  which  I  have  since  observed  in  many  other  courts, 

*  Sir  Walter  Scott  supposes  that  a  sarcasm  is  intended  here  against 
the  royal  proclamations  issued  after  the  rebellion  of  1715,  but  Swift 
more  probably  alludes  to  the  King's  speech  at  the  opening  of  Parlia- 
ment, October  11th,  1772,  wherein  he  informed  both  Houses  of  the 
conspiracy  to  restore  the  Pretender,  in  which  Atterbury  was  in- 
volved. 

t  Gulliver's  defense  of  himself  for  escaping  to  Blefuscu  is  a  covert 
apolog-y  for  Bolingbroke's  flight  to  France  in  1715;  a  circumetance 
which  was  frequently  quoted  as  decisive  proof  of  iiis  guilt,  and  cen- 
sured as  an  act  of  imprudence  by  many  who  believed  in  his  innocence. 
The  Dean  insinuates  that  it  v/as,  like  that  of  Gulliver,  rendered 
necessary  by  the  malice  of  the  ministers  of  the  day;  and  it  mubt 
be  confessed  that  the  mode  in  which  the  articles  of  impeachment  were 
urged  forward,  gave  too  much  reason  to  believe  that  Bolingbroke's 
death  was  predetermined  by  his  accusers* 


IIG  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS; 

and  their  methods  of  treating  criminals  less  obnoxious  than 
myself,  I  should,  with  great  alacrity  and  readiness,  have 
submitted  to  so  easy  a  punishment.f  But  hurried  on  by 
the  precipitancy  of  youth,  and  having  his  imperial  majesty's 
license  to  pay  my  attendance  upon  the  emperor  of  Blefuscu, 
I  took  this  opportunity  before  the  three  days  were  elapsed, 
to  send  a  letter  to  my  friend,  the  secretary,  signifying  my 
resolution  of  setting  out  that  morning  for  Blefuscu, 
pursuant  to  the  leave  I  had  got;  and,  without  waiting  for 
answer,  I  went  to  that  side  of  the  island  where  our  fleet  lay. 
I  seized  a  large  man-of-war,  tied  a  cable  to  the  prow,  and 
lifting  up  the  anchors,  I  stripped  myself,  put  my  clothes 
(together  with  my  coverlet,  which  I  carried  under  my  arm) 
into  the  vessel,  and  drawing  it  after  me,  between  wading  and 
swimming,  arrived  at  the  royal  port  of  Blefuscu,  where  the 
people  had  long  expected  me;  they  lent  me  two  guides  to 
direct  me  to  the  capital  city,  which  is  of  the  same  namxC. 
I  held  them  in  my  hands  till  I  came  within  two  hundred 
yards  of  the  gate,  and  desired  them  ''to  signify  my  arrival 
to  one  of  the  secretaries,  and  let  him  know  I  there  waited 
his  majesty's  command."  I  had  an  answer  in  about  an  hour, 
''that  his  majesty,  attended  by  the  royal  family,  and  great 
of^cers  of  the  court,  was  coming  out  to  receive  me."  I  ad- 
vanced a  hundred  yards.  The  emperor  and  his  train  alighted 
from  their  horses,  the  empress  and  ladies  from  their 
coaches,  and  I  did  not  perceive  they  were  in  any  fright  or 
concern.  I  lay  on  the  ground  to  kiss  his  majesty's  and  the 
empress'  hands.  I  told  his  majesty,  "that  I  was  come  ac- 
cording to  my  promise,  and  with  the  license  of  the  emperor 
my  master,  to  have  the  honor  of  seeing  so  mighty  a  mon- 
arch, and  to  offer  him  any  service  in  my  power,  consistent 
with  my  duty  to  my  own  prince ;"  not  mentioning  a  word  of 
my  disgrace,  because  I  had  hitherto  no  regular  informa- 
tion of  it,  and  might  suppose  myself  wholly  ignorant  of  any 
such  design;  neither  could  I  reasonably  conceive  that  the 
emperor  would  discover  the  secret,  while  I  was  out  of  his 

t  This  bitter  stroke  of  irony  is  directed  against  the  acts  of  Par- 
liament by  which  Ormond,  Bolingbroke,  and  the  Bishop  of  Rochester, 
were  attained.  Swift  gave  rather  a  per  lous  proof  of  his  belief  iu 
the  innocence  of  the  Duke  of  Ormond,  when,  after  that  nobleman's 
attainder,  the  heralds  from  the  Irish  College  of  Arms  went  to  remove 
his  escutcheon  from  St,  Patrick's  Cathedral,  Sv/ift  refused  them 
admittance,  and  persevered  in  keeping  the  Duke's  coat  of  arms  in 
its  ancient   place   of   honor. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  117 

power;  wherein,  however,  it  soon  appeared  I  was  deceived. 
I  shall  not  trouble  the  reader  with  the  particular  account 
of  my  reception  at  this  court,  which  was  suitable  to  the 
generosity  of  so  _great  a  prince ;  nor  of  the  difBculties  I  was 
in  for  want  of  a  house  and  bed,  being  forced  to  lie  on  the 
ground,  wrapped  up  in  my  coverlet.* 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  AUTHOR,  BY  A  LUCKY  ACCIDENT,  FINDS  MEANS  TO 
LEAVE  BLEFUSCU;  AND,  AFTER  SOME  DIFFICULTIES. 
RETURNS  SAFE  TO  HIS  NATIVE  COUNTRY. 

Three  days  after  my  arrival,  walking  out  of  curiosity  to 
the  north-east  coast  of  the  island,  I  observed  about  half  a 
league  off  in  the  sea,  somewhat  that  looked  like  a  boat 
overturned.  I  pulled  off  my  shoes  and  stockings,  and  wad- 
ing two  or  three  hundred  yards,  I  found  the  object  to  ap- 
proach nearer  by  force  of  the  tide;  and  then  plainly  saw  it 
to  be  a  real  boat,  which  I  supposed  might  by  some  tempest 
have  been  driven  from  a  ship:  whereupon  I  returned  im- 
mediately toward  the  city,  and  desired  his  imperial  majesty 
to  lend  me  twenty  of  the  tallest  vessels  he  had  left,  after  the 
loss  of  his  fleet,  and  three  thousand  seamen,  under  the 
command  of  his  vice-admiral.  This  fleet  sailed  round,  while 
I  went  back  the  shortest  way  to  the  coast,  where  I  first  dis- 
covered the  boat.  I  found  the  tide  had  driven  it  still  nearer. 
The  seamen  were  all  provided  with  cordage,  which  I  had 
beforehand  twisted  to  a  sufficient  strength.  When  the  ships 
came  up,  I  stripped  myself,  and  waded  till  I  came  within  a 
hundred  yards  of  the  boat,  after  which  I  was  forced  to  swim 
till  I  got  up  to  it.  The  seamen  threv/  me  the  end  of  the  cord, 
which  I  fastened  to  a  hole  in  the  fore  part  of  the  boat,  and 
the  other  end  to  a  man-of-war;  but  I  found  all  my  labor  to 
little  purpose ;  for,  being  out  of  my  depth,  I  was  not  able  to 
work.  In  this  necessity  I  was  forced  to  swim  behind,  and 
push  the  boat  forward  as  often  as  I  could  with  one  of  my 
hands;  and  the  tide  favoring  me,  I  advanced  so  far  that  I 
could  just  hold  up  my  chin  and  feel  the  ground.  I  rested 
two  or  three  minutes,  and  then  gave  the  boat  another  shove, 

*  The  author  probably  alludes  to  the  severe  hardships  endured  by 
many   of  the  Jacobite  exiles  in  France. 


118  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

and  so  on,  till  the  sea  was  no  higher  than  my  armpits ;  and 
now  the  most  laborious  part  being  over,  I  took  out  my  other 
cables,  which  were  stowed  in  one  of  the  ships,  and  fastened 
them  first  to  the  boat,  and  them  to  nine  of  the  vessels  which 
attended  me:  the  wind  being  favorable,  the  seamen  towed, 
and  I  shoved,  until  we  arrived  within  forty  yards  of  the 
shore,  and  waiting  till  the  tide  was  out,  I  got  dry  to  the  boat, 
and  by  the  assistance  of  two  thousand  men  with  ropes  and 
engines,  I  made  a  shift  to  turn  it  on  its  bottom,  and  found  it 
was  but  little  damaged. 

I  shall  not  trouble  the  reader  with  the  difficulties  I  was 
under,  by  the  help  of  certain  paddles,  which  cost  me  ten  days 
making,  to  get  my  boat  to  the  royal  port  of  Blefuscu,  where 
a  mighty  concourse  of  people  appeared  upon  my  arrival,  full 
of  wonder  at  the  sight  of  so  prodigious  a  vessel.  I  told  the 
emperor  "that  my  good  fortune  had  thrown  this  boat  in  my 
way,  to  carry  me  to  some  place  whence  I  might  return  into 
my  native  country;  and  begged  his  majesty's  orders  for 
getting  materials  to  fit  it  up;  together  with  his  license  to 
depart;"  which,  after  some  kind  expostulations,  he  was 
pleased  to  grant. 

I  did  very  much  wonder,  in  all  this  time,  not  to  have 
heard*  of  any  express  relating  to  me  from  our  emperor  to 
the  court  of  Blefuscu.  But  I  was  afterwards  given  privately 
to  understand,  that  his  imperial  majesty,  never  imagining 
I  had  the  least  notice  of  his  designs,  believed  I  was  only 
gone  to  Blefuscu  in  performance  of  my  promise,  accord- 
ing to  the  license  he  had  given  me,  which  was  well  known 
at  our  court,  and  would  return  in  a  few  days,  when  the  cere- 
mony was  ended.  But  he  was  at  last  in  pain  at  my  long 
absence;  and  after  consulting  with  the  treasurer  and  the 
rest  of  that  cabal,  a  person  of  quality  was  dispatched  with  the 
copy  of  the  articles  against  me.  This  envoy  had  instructions 
to  represent  to  the  monarch  of  Blefuscu,  ''the  great  lenity 
of  his  master,  who  was  content  to  pimish  me  no  farther  than 
with  the  loss  of  mine  eyes;  that  I  had  fied  from  justice;  and 
if  T  did  not  return  in  two  hours,  I  should  be  deprived  of  my 
title  of  nardac  and  declared  a  traitor."  The  envoy  farther 
added,  ''that  in  order  to  maintain  the  peace  and  amity  be- 
tween both  empires,  his  master  expected  that  his  brother  of 

*  "I  did  very  much  wonder  not  to  have  heard,  etc."  This  sentence 
is  ungrarnmatical;  it  should  have  been,  "I  did  very  much  wonder,  in 
all  this  time,  at  not  having  heard  of  any  express,"  etc.— Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  119 

Blefuscu  would  give  orders  to  have  me  sent  back  to  Lilli- 
put,  bound  hand  and  foot,  to  be  punished  as  a  traitor."* 

The  emperor  of  Blefuscu,  having  taken  three  days  to  con- 
sult, returned  an  answer  consisting  of  many  civilities  and 
excuses.  He  said,  ''that,  as  for  sending  me  bound,  his 
brother  knew  it  was  impossible;  that  although  I  had  de- 
prived him  of  his  fleet,  yet  he  owed  great  obligations  to  me 
for  many  good  ofifices  I  had  done  him  in  making  the  peace. 
That,  however,  both  their  majesties  would  soon  be  made 
easy;  for  I  had  found  a  prodigious  vessel  on  the  shore,  able 
to  carry  me  on  the  sea,  which  he  had  given  orders  to  fit  up, 
with  my  own  assistance  and  direction;  and  he  hoped,  in 
a  few  weeks,  both  empires  would  be  freed  from  so  insup- 
portable an  incumbrance." 

With  this  answer  the  envoy  returned  to  Lilliput,  and  the 
monarch  of  Blefuscu  related  to  me  all  that  had  passed; 
offering  me  at  the  same  time  (but  under  the  strictest  confi- 
dence) his  gracious  protection  if  I  would  continue  in  his 
service;  wherein  although  I  believed  him  sincere,  yet  I  re- 
solved never  more  to  put  any  confidence  in  princes  or  min- 
isters, where  I  could  possibly  avoid  it;  and  therefore,  with 
all  due  acknowledgments  for  his  favorable  intentions,  I 
humbly  begged  to  be  excused.  I  told  him,  that  ''since 
fortune,  whether  good  or  evil,  had  thrown  a  vessel  in  my 
way,  I  was  resolved  to  venture  myself  on  the  ocean,  rather 
than  be  an  occasion  of  difference  between  two  such  mighty 
monarchs.  Neither  did  I  find  the  emperor  at  all  displeased; 
and  I  discovered,  by  a  certain  accident,  that  he  was  very 

glad  of  my  resolution,  and  so  were  most  of  his  ministers. f 

% 

*  This  embassy  from  Lilliput  is  designed  to  satirize  the  frequent 
remonstrances  made  to  the  French  court  by  the  English  ministers, 
in  consequence  of  the  protection  granted  to  the  Jacobites. 

t  This  irony  is  directed  against  the  jealousy  with  which  Boling 
broke,  during  his  exile,  was  regarded  by  the  French  ministers.  His 
restless  spirit  of  intrigue  rendered  him  scarcely  less  formidable  at 
Versailles  than  he  had  been  at  St.  James's.  During  his  exile,  BoUng- 
broke  entered  into  the  Pretender's  service,  but  soon  quarreled  with 
his  master,  and  was  formally  attainted  at  the  mock  court  of  St. 
James's.  It  was  a  singular  fortune  to  be  secretary  to  and  attainted 
by  both  governments.  Swift  has  invariably  eulogized  Bolingoroke  as 
a  pure  patriot;  but  he  was  far  from  deserving  that  character.  "Ilia 
life,"  says  a  recent  writer,  "was  chiefly  spent  in  retirement,  and  though 
not  highly  exemplary  of  practical  wisdom  he  was  looked  up  jto  with 
oracular  veneration  by  contemporary  wits  and  politicians.  He  was 
a  fine  speaker  and  highly  accomplished  man;  of  great  energy  and  de- 
cision of  character;  but  unscrupulous,  and  lacked  the  integrity  oi 
principle  and  singleness  of  purpose  which  inspire  confidence  ana 
)ead  to  unquestioned  excellence.  He  was  ambitious,  covetous  of 
superiority,  resentful;  lax  in  morals,  a  partisan  in  politics,  and  an 
jntidei  in  religion," 


120  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

These  considerations  moved  me  to  hasten  my  departure 
somewhat  sooner  than  I  intended;  to  which  the  court,  im- 
patient to  have  me  gone,  very  readily  contributed.  Five 
hundred  workmen  were  employed  to  make  two  sails  to  my 
boat,  according  to  my  directions,  by  quilting  thirteen  folds 
of  their  strongest  linen  together.  I  was  at  the  pains  of  mak- 
ing ropes  and  cables,  by  twisting  ten,  twenty,  or  thirty  of 
the  thickest  and  strongest  of  theirs.  A  great  stone  that  I 
happened  to  find,  after  a  long  search,  by  the  seashore, 
served  me  for  an  anchor.  I  had  the  tallow  of  three  hun- 
dred cows,  for  greasing  my  boat,  and  other  uses.  I  was 
at  incredible  pains  in  cutting  down  some  of  the  largest  tim- 
ber trees  for  oars  and  masts,  wherein  I  was,  however,  much 
assisted  by  his  majesty's  ship-carpenters,  who  helped  me 
in  smoothing  them,  after  I  had  done  the  rough  work. 

In  about  a  month,  when  all  was  prepared,  I  sent  to  receive 
his  majesty's  commands,  and  to  take  my  leave.  The  em- 
peror and  royal  family  came  out  of  the  palace;  I  lay  down 
on  my  face  to  kiss  his  hand,  which  he  very  graciously  gave 
me;  so  did  the  empress  and  young  princes  of  the  blood.  His 
majesty  presented  me  with  fifty  purses  of  two  hundred 
sprugs  apiece,  together  with  his  picture  at  full  length,  which 
I  put  immediately  into  one  of  my  gloves,  to  keep  it  from 
being  hurt.  The  ceremonies  at  my  departure  were  too 
many  to  trouble  the  reader  with  at  this  time. 

I  stored  the  boat  with  carcasses  of  a  hundred  oxen  and 
three  hundred  sheep,  with  bread  and  drink  proportionable, 
and  as  much  meat  ready-dressed  as  four  hundred  cooks 
could  provide.  I  took  with  me  sixxows  and  two-^blllls  alive, 
with  a»  many  ev/es  and  rams,  intending  to  carry  them  into 
my  own  country  and  propagate  the  breed ;  and  to  feed  them 
on  board,  I  had  a  good  bundle  of  hay  and  a  bag  of  corn.  I 
would  gladly  have  taken  a  dozen  of  the  natives,  but  this 
was  a  thing  the  emperor  would  by  no  means  permit;  and, 
besides  a  diligent  search  into  my  pockets,  his  majesty  en- 
gaged my  honor  ''not  to  carry  away  any  of  his  subjects,  al- 
though with  their  own  consent  and  desire." 

Having  thus  prepared  all  things  as  well  as  I  was  able,  I 
set  sail  on  the  twenty-fourth  day  of  September,  1701,  at  six 
in  the  morning;  and  when  I  had  gone  about  four  leagues  to 
the  northward,  the  wind  being  at  south-east,  at  six  in  the 
evening,  I  descried  a  small  island  about  half  a  league  to  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  121 

northwest.  I  advanced  forward,  and  cast  anchor  on  the  lee 
side  of  the  island,  which  seemed  to  be  uninhabited.  I  then 
took  some  refreshment  and  went  to  my  rest.  I  slept  well, 
and  as  I  conjecture,  at  least  six  hours,  for  I  found  the  day 
broke  in  two  hours  after  I  awaked.  It  was  a  clear  night. 
I  ate  my  breakfast  before  the  sun  was  up,  and  heaving 
anchor,  the  wind  being  favorable,  I  steered  the  same  course 
that  I  had  done  the  day  before,  wherein  I  was  directed  by 
my  pocket-compass.  My  intention  was  to  reach,  if  possible, 
one  of  those  islands  which  I  had  reason  to  believe  lay  to 
the  northeast  of  Van  Diemen's  Land.  I  discovered  nothing 
all  that  day;  but  upon  the  next,  about  three  in  the  after- 
noon, when  I  had  by  my  computation  made  twenty-four 
leagues  from  Blefuscu,  I  descried  a  sail  steering  to  the 
southeast;  my  course  was  due  east.  I  hailed  her,  but  could 
get  no  answer;  I  gained  upon  her,  for  the  wind  slackened. 
I  made  all  the  sail  I  could,  and  in  half  an  hour  she  spied  me, 
then  hung  out  her  ancient,  and  discharged  a  gun.  It  is  not 
easy  to  express  the  joy  I  was  in,  upon  the  unexpected  hope 
of  once  more  seeing  my  beloved  country  and  the  dear 
pledges  I  left  in  it.  The  ship  slackened  her  sails,  and  I  came 
up  with  her  between  five  and  six  in  the  evening,  September 
twenty-sixth;  but  my  heart  leaped  within  me  to  see  her 
English  colors.  I  put  my  cows  and  sheep  into  my  coat- 
pockets  and  got  on  board  with  all  my  little  cargo  of  provi- 
sions. The  vessel  was  an  English  merchantman  returning 
from  Japan  by  the  North  and  South  seas;  the  captain,  Mr. 
John  Biddel,  of  Deptford,  a  very  civil  man  and  an  excellent 
sailor.  We  were  now  in  the  latitude  of  30  degrees  south; 
there  were  about  fifty  men  in  the  ship;  and  here  I  met  an 
old  comrade  of  mine,  one  Peter  Williams,  who  gave  me  a 
good  character  to  the  captain.  This  gentleman  treated  me 
with  kindness  and  desired  I  would  let  him  know  wliat  place 
I  came  from  last,  and  whither  I  was  bound ;  which  I  did  in  a 
few  words,  but  he  thought  I  was  raving,  and  that  the 
dangers  I  had  underwent"^  had  disturbed  my  head;  where- 
upon I  took  my  black  cattle  and  sheep  out  of  my  pocket, 
which,  after  great  astonishm.ent,  clearly  convinced  him  of 
my  veracity.  I  then  showed  him  the  gold  given  me  by  the 
emperor  of  Blefuscu,  together  with  his  majesty's  picture  at 

*  "I   had  underwent,"   is  not  English;  it  should  have  been   "I   had 
undergone,"  or  "I  underwent."    * 


122  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

full  length,  and  some  other  rarities  of  that  country.  I  gave 
him  two  purses  of  two  hundred  sprugs  each,  and  promised 
when  we  arrived  in  England  to  make  him  a  present  of  a  cow, 
and  a  sheep,  big  with  young. 

I  shall  not  trouble  the  reader  with  a  particular  account  of 
this  voyage,  which  was  very  prosperous  for  the  most  part. 
We  arrived  in  the  Downs  on  the  13th  of  April,  1702.  I  had 
only  one  misfortune,  that  the  rats  on  board  carried  away  one 
of  my  sheep;  I  found  her  bones  in  a  hole,  picked  clean  from 
the  flesh.  The  rest  of  my  cattle  I  got  safe  ashore,  and  set 
a-grazing  on  a  bowling-green  at  Greenwich,  where  the  fine- 
ness of  the  grass  made  them  feed  very  heartily,  though  I  had 
always  feared  the  contrary:  neither  could  I  possibly  have 
preserved  them  in  so  long  a  voyage  if  the  captain  had  not 
allowed  me  some  of  his  best  biscuit,  which,  rubbed  to  pow- 
der and  mingled  with  water,  was  their  constant  food.  The 
short  time  I  continued  in  England  I  made  considerable 
profit  by  showing  my  cattle  to  many  persons  of  §[uality  and 
others;  and  before  I  began  my  second  voyage  I  sold  them 
for  six  hundred  pounds.  Since  my  last  return  I  find  the 
breed  is  considerably  increased,  especially  the  sheep,  which 
I  hope  will  prove  much  to  the  advantage  of  the  woolen 
manufacture,  by  the  fineness  of  the  fleeces.f 

I  stay  but  tw^o  months  with  my  wife  and  family,  for  my 
insatiable  desire  of  seeing  foreign  countries  would  suffer  me 
to  continue  no  longer.  I  left  fifteen  hundred  pounds  with 
my  wife,  and  fixed  her  in  a  good  house  at  RedrifT.  My  re- 
maining stock  I  carried  with  me,  part  in  money  and  part  in 
goods,  in  hopes  to  improve  my  fortunes.  My  eldest  uncle 
John  had  left  me  an  estate  in  land  near  Epping  of  about 
thirty  pounds  a  year,  and  I  had  a  long  lease  of  the  Black 
Bull  in  Fetter  Lane,  which  yielded  me  as  much  more;  so 
that  I  was  not  in  any  danger  of  leaving  my  family  upon  the 
parish.    My  son  Johnny,  named  so  after  his  uncle,  was  at  the 

t  This  Is  a  passing-  sarcasm  on  the  numerous  acts  of  Parliament 
for  encouraging-  the  woollen  manufactures,  and  the  various  schemes 
proposed  in  Swift's  time  for  improving  the  growth  and  fineness  of 
wool.  There  is  probably  no  other  subject  on  which  g-reater  blunders 
have  been  made  in  commercial  legislation  than  the  English  woollen 
trade,  nor  any  which  more  clearly  shows  the  futility  of  protecting 
duties  and  direct  encouragement  from  Parliament,  Swift  provoked 
the  indignation  of  the  party  in  power,  by  protesting  earnestly  against 
the  commercial  jealousy  which  annihilated  the  woollen  manufactures 
of  Ireland,  under  pretense  of  their  interfering-  with  the  staple  manu- 
facture of  England:  but  wool  was  the  favorite  hobby  of  his  day.  and 
projects  for  extending  the  trade  formed  no  small  part  of  the  bubbles 
of  1720. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  12ii 

grammar-school^  and  a  towardly  child.  My  daughter  Betty 
(who  is  now  well  married  and  has  children)  was  then  at  her 
needlev/ork.  I  took  leave  of  my  wife  and  boy  and  girl  with 
tears  on  both  sides,  and  went  on  board  the  Adventure,  a 
merchant  ship  of  three  hundred  tons,  bound  for  Surat,  Cap- 
tain John  Nicholas,  of  Liverpool,  commander.  But  my  ac- 
count of  this  voyage  must  be  referred  to  the  Second  Part  of 
my  travels. 


APPENDIX 


TO    THE 


VOYAGE  TO  LILLIPUT. 


Lilliput  and  its  court  were,  as  we  have  shown,  designed 
as  a  sarcastic  description  of  England  in  the  reigns  of  Anne 
and  the  First  of  the  Georges,  but  the  explanation  of  the 
satire  would  scarcely  be  complete  without  Swift's  opinions 
of  the  statesmen  of  his  day,  which  he  has  recorded  in  MS. 
notes  on  Macky's  Memoirs.  They  are  very  pithy  and  char- 
acteristic. 

Harley,  Earl  of  Oxford. — ''He  is  skilled  in  most  things, 
and  very  eloquent." — Macky.  A  great  lie:  he  could  not 
properly  be  called  eloquent;  but  he  knew  how  to  prevail  on 
the  House  with  few  words  and  strong  reasons. — Swift's  MS. 

Lord  John  Poulet. — "One  of  the  hopefullest  gentlemen 
in  England;  very  learned,  virtuous,  and  a  man  of  honor." — 
M.     This  character  is  fair  enough. — S. 

Legge,  Lord  Dartmouth. — ''He  sets  up  for  a  critic  in  con- 
versation, makes  jests  and  loves  to  laugh  at  them,  takes  a 
great  deal  of  pains  in  his  office,  and  is  in  a  fair  way  of  rising 
at  court." — M,  This  is  right  enough,  but  he  has  little  sin- 
cerity.— S. 

Wharton,  Lord  Wharton. — "He  is  one  of  the  completest 
gent;^men  in  England;  hath  a  very  clear  understanding, 
and  1;  ^nly  expression,  with  an  abundance  of  wit." — M.  The 
most  tix.xv^ersal  villain  I  ever  saw. — S. 

Powlett,  Duke  of  Bolton. — "He  does  not  now  make  any 
figure  at  court." — M.  Nor  anywhere  else;  a  great  booby. 
— S. 

Charles,  Viscount  Townshend. — "He  is  beloved  by  every- 
body that  knows  him." — M.    I  except  one. — S. 

124 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  125 

John  Somers. — 'This  distinguished  lawyer  was  born  at 
Worcester  in  1652,  of  a  credible  family." — M.  Very  mean; 
his  father  was  a  noted  rogue.  I  allow  him  to  have  possessed 
all  excellent  qualities  except  virtue;  he  had  violent  passions, 
and  hardly  subdued  them  by  his  great  prudence. — S. 

Matthew  Prior. — "He  is  very  well  at  court  with  the  minis- 
try, and  is  an  entire  creature  of  Lord  Jersey,  whom  he 
supports  by  his  advice:  is  one  of  the  best  poets  in  England, 
but  very  factious  in  conversation;  a  thin,  hollow-looked 
man." — M.     This  is  near  the  truth. — S. 

Charles,  Lord  Halifax. — "tie  is  a  great  encourager  of 
learning  and  learned  men;  is  the  patron  of  the  Muses;  of 
very  agreeable  conversation;  a  short,  fat  man." — M.  His 
encouragement  were  only  good  words  and  dinners.  I  never 
heard  him  say  one  good  thing  or  seem  to  taste  what  was 
said  by  others. — S. 

Charles,  Duke  of  Somerset. — "He  is  a  lover  of  music  and 
poetry;  of  good  judgment." — M.  Not  a  grain;  hardly  com- 
mon sense. — S.  (See  a  more  extended  character  in  the 
history  of  the  four  last  years  of  Queen  Anne.) 

Daniel,  Earl  of  Nottingham. — "He  hath  the  exterior  air 
of  business,  and  application  enough  to  make  him  very  capa- 
ble; in  his  habits  and  manners  very  familiar." — M.  He  fell 
in  with  the  Whigs;  was  an  endless  talker. — S.  (See  as  be- 
fore.) 

Charles,  Lord  Mohun. — "He  is  brave  in  his  person,  bold 
in  his  expressions,  and  rectifies  as  fast  as  he  can  the  slips  of 
his  youth  by  acts  of  honesty." — M.  He  was  little  better  than 
a  conceited  talker  in  company. — S. 

John,  Duke  of  Argyle. — "His  family  will  not  lose  in  his 
person,  the  great  figure  they  have  made  for  so  many  ages." 
— M.  Ambitious,  covetous,  cunning  Scot;  has  no  principle 
but  his  own  interest  and  greatness.  A  true  Scot  in  his  whole 
conduct. — S. 

Montague  Venables  Bertie. — "A  gentleman  of  fine  parts." 
— M.    Very  covetous. — S. 

Mr.  Davenant. — "A  very  giddy-headed  young  fellow, 
with  some  wit." — M.    He  is  not  worth  mentioning. — S. 

Sir  Paul  Methuen. — "A  man  of  intrigue,  but  very  muddy 
in  his  conceptions,  and  not  quickly  understood  in  anything." 
— M.  A  profligate  rogue,  without  religion  or  morals;  but 
cunning  enough,  yet  without  abilities  of  any  kind. — S. 


126  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Mr.  Aglionby. — "Envoy  to  the  Swiss  Cantons." — M.  He 
had  been  a  Papist. — S. 

Marquis  of  Breadalbane. — "He  is  cunning  as  a  fox,  wise 
as  a  serpent,  but  sHppery  as  an  eel." — M.  A  blundering,  rat- 
tle-pated, drunken  sot. — S. 

Mr.  Carrstairs. — "He  is  the  cunningest  subtle  dissembler 
in  England;  a  dangerous  enemy  because  always  hid.  He 
is  a  fat,  sanguine-complexioned,  fair  man;  always  smiling' 
when  he  deigns  most  mischief;  a  good  friend  when  he  is 
sincere." — M.  A  true  character,  but  not  strong  enough  by 
a  fiftieth  part. — S. 

Philip,  Earl  of  Chesterfield. — "He  is  above  sixty  years 
old." — M.  If  it  be  old  Lord  Chesterfield,  I  have  heard  he 
was  the  greatest  knave  in  England. — S. 

Lord  Choimondeley. — "Hath  good  sense." — M.  Good 
for  nothing,  as  far  as  I  ever  knew. — S. 

Lord  Delaware. — "A  free  jolly  gentleman." — M.  Of  very 
little  sense ;  but  formal,  and  well  stored  with  the  low  kind  of 
the  lowest  politics. — S. 

Charles,  Earl  of  Dorset. — "Of  great  learning." — M. 
vSmall  or  none. — S.  "He  is  still  one  of  the  pleasantest  men 
in  the  world,  when  he  likes  his  company." — M.  Not  of  late 
years,  but  a  very  dull  one. — S. 

Earl  of  Feversham. — "Turned  of  fifty  years  old." — M.  A 
very  dull  old  fellow. — S. 

Andrew  Fletcher  of  Saltoun. — "So  zealous  an  asserter  of 
the  liberties  of  the  people,  that  he  is  too  jealous  of  the  grow- 
ing power  of  all  princes." — M.  A  most  arrogant,  conceited 
pedant  in  politics;  cannot  endure  the  least  contradiction  in 
any  of  his  visions  or  paradoxes. — S. 

Charles,  Duke  of  Grafton. — "A  very  pretty  gentleman." 
— M.     Almost  a  slobberer,  without  one  good  quality. — S. 

Earl  of  Grantham. — "A  very  pretty  gentleman." — M. 
Good  for  nothing. — S. 

Lord  Gray  of  Wark. — "A  zealous  asserter  of  the  liberties 
of  the  people." — M.    Had  very  little  in  him. — S. 

Lord  Guilford. — "Does  not  want  sense." — M.  A  mighty 
silly  fellow — S. 

Sir  Charles  Hare. — "Hath  good  understanding,  and 
abundance  of  learning."— M.  His  father  was  a  groom;  he 
was  a  man  of  sense,  without  one  grain  of  honesty. — S. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  127 

Mr.  Hill. — "He  is  a  favorite  to  both  parties." — M.  To 
neither. — S. 

Secretary  Johnstoun. — "He  is  very  honest,  yet  something 
too  credulous  and  suspicious.  He  would  not  tell  a  lie  for 
the  world.'' — M.  A  treacherous  knave.  One  of  the  greatest 
knaves  even  in  Scotland. — S. 

Earl  of  Kent. — "Has  good  sense." — M.  He  seems  a  good- 
natured  man,  but  of  very  little  consequence. — S. 

Earl  of  Lindsey. — "Has  both  wit  and  learning." — M.  I 
never  observed  a  grain  of  either. — S. 

Lord  Lucas. — "He  is  every  way  a  very  plain  man." — M. 
A  good  plain  humdrum. — S. 

Mr.  Mansel. — "He  is  a  gentleman  of  a  great  deal  of  wit 
and  good  nature." — M.    But  of  very  moderate  capacity. — S. 

Duke  of  Montague. — "An  admirer  of  learning  and 
learned  men." — M.    As  great  a  knave  as  any  in  his  time. — S. 

Marquis  of  Montrose. — "He  inherits  great  qualities." 
— M.  Now  very  homely,  and  makes  a  sorry  appearance. 
— S. 

Duke  of  Richmond. — "Good-natured  to  a  fault." — M.  A 
shallow  coxcomb. — S. 

Earl  of  Sandwich. — "Of  very  ordinary  parts." — M.  As 
much  a  puppy  as  ever  I  saw. — S. 

Mr.  Smith.— "A  bold  orator."— M.  I  thought  him  a 
heavy  man. — S. 

Earl  of  Stamford. — "A  very  honest  man." — M.  He 
looked  and  talked  like  a  very  weak  man ;  but  it  was  said  he 
spoke  well  in  council. — S. 

George  Stepney. — "One  of  the  best  poets  now  in  Eng- 
land."— ^M.     Scarce  a  third  rate. — S. 

Archbishop  Tenison. — "A  plain,  good  heavy  man." — M. 
The  most  good-for-nothing  prelate  I  ever  knew. — S. 

Earl  of  Weems. — "A  fine  personage,  and  very  beautiful." 
— M.    He  was  a  black  man,  and  handsome  for  a  Scot. — S. 


The  characters  of  the  Dukes  of  Marlborough  and  Somer- 
set, the  Duchess  of  Marlborough,  the  Earls  of  Godolphin, 
Sunderland,  and  Wharton,  Nottingham  and  Lord  Cow- 
per,  are  delineated  in  the  history  of  the  last  four  years  of 
Queen  Anne,  to  which  we  refer  our  readers. 


128  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

L'Abbe  Desfontaines,  the  first  translator  of  Gulliver's 
Travels  into  French,  terrified  by  the  boldness  of  Swift's  phil- 
osophic speculations,  suppressed  and  altered  several  pas- 
sages ;  such  a  proceeding  might  be  pardoned  at  a  time  when 
a  rigid  censorship  v/as  exercised  over  the  press,  but  the 
same  leniency  cannot  be  shown  to  his  numerous  interpola- 
tions, which  completely  change  the  character  of  the  work. 
One  of  these  unfortunate  additions  is,  however,  not  devoid 
of  interest;  it  continues  with  considerable  humor  Swift's 
account  of  the  manners  and  customs  of  Lilliput,  and  con- 
tains some  valuable  hints  on  the  subject  of  education, 
worthy  of  the  pen  of  Voltaire's,  great  antagonist.  As  the 
Abbe's  translation  is  scarcely  known  in  England,  we  shall, 
add  this  passage  as  a  specimen  of  his  interpolations: 

'The  Lilliputians  surpass  most  ^European  nations  in  the 
attention  bestowed  on  the  education  of  children.  They 
compare  instruction  to  horticulture.  It  is  not  enough,  say 
they,  to  sow  the  seed  and  produce  the  plants,  their  growth 
must  be  tended  with  fostering  care;  they  must  be  sheltered 
against  winter's  bitter  blasts,  and  summer's  scorching  heats, 
the  attacks  of  insects  must  be  repelled,  the  skillful  gardener 
must  tend  the  opening  of  the  bud  and  the  unfolding  of  the 
blossom,  or  he  has  no  right  to  expect  perfect  and  ripened 
fruit.  They  take  care  that  the  teacher  should  have  a  well- 
balanced  mind  rather  than  a  lofty  intellect;  they  look  to  his 
morals  rather  than  his  science.  They  cannot  endure  those 
pedantic  teachers  who  cram  their  pupils  with  grammatical 
niceties,  frivolous  discussions,  and  idle  puerilities;  they  do 
not  explain  the  structure  of  the  living  language  by  refer- 
ence to  a  dead  language  with  which  it  has  very  few  relations; 
their  grammar  is  not  a  system  of  dry  rules  and  tedious  ex- 
ceptions; they  make  their  pupils  learn  the  proprieties  of 
speech  by  usage  and  custom,  by  familiarizing  them  with 
examples  taken  from  the  best  writers,  instead  of  burdening 
their  memory  with  the  complexities  of  syntax  and  the  nice- 
ties of  prosody.  They  are  anxious  that  the  teacher  should 
be  familiar  and  friendly  with  his  pupils,  nothing  in  their 
opinion  being  more  averse  to  a  sound  education  than 
pedantry,  and  a  morose  affection  of  dignity.  They  insist 
that  the  master  should  rather  descend  to  the  level  of  his 
scholar  than  aim  at  rising  far  above  him ;  and  they  believe 
that  the  former  is  a  far  more  difficult  acquirement  than  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  129 

latter,  condescension  requiring  more  tact,  delicacy,  and 
strength  of  mind,  than  the  assumption  of  superiority. 

"They  insist  that  teachers  should  endeavor  rather  to  train 
youthful  minds  for  the  active  pursuits  of  real  life  than  to  load 
them  with  rare  and  curious  stores  of  knowledge,  which  are 
not  capable  of  practical  application.  Consequently,  they 
teach  them  from  the  outset  to  be  prudent  and  discreet,  so 
that  in  the  very  season  of  enjoyment  they  should  know  how 
to  moderate  their  indulgence  in  pleasure.  Is  it  not  ridicu- 
lous, say  tUey,  to  defer  moral  instruction  to  the  very  last,  to 
place  ethics  at  the  end,  and  not  at  the  beginning  of  the 
course;  to  keep  people  ignorant  of  the  real  nature  and  use 
of  the  enjoyments  of  life  until  the  season  when  they  can 
be  best  appreciated  is  past;  to  teach  the  arts  of  life  only 
when  death  is  near  at  hand,  and  to  point  out  the  proper  pur- 
poses of  existence,  only  when  that  existence  is  drawing  to 
its  close? 

''They  reward  their  children  for  a  prompt  and  ready  con- 
fession of  their  faults;  and  they  bestow  grace  and  favors  on 
those  who  can  give  the  best  account  and  explanation  of  their 
errors.  A  great  object  of  their  system  is  to  stimulate  the 
curiosity  of  the  young;  they  encourage  them  to  ask  ques- 
tions about  everything  they  see  and  hear,  and  they  punish 
severely  those  who  have  witnessed  any  extraordinary  event 
or  phenomenon  without  manifesting  curiosity  or  astonish- 
ment. 

"They  inculcate  the  most  dutiful  obedience  and  loyalty  to 
the  sovereign,  but  at  the  same  time  they  exert  themselves 
to  prevent  this  feeling  from  degenerating  into  slavish  sub- 
mission, by  carefully  distinguishing  between  the  respect  due 
to  the  station  of  governing  power  and  the  personal  attach- 
ment which  belongs  only  to  individuals.  They  believe  that 
the  confusion  of  the  two  principles  has  often  grievously 
wounded  the  conscience,  exposed  liberty  to  imminent  dan- 
gers, and  produced  great  misfortunes  to  states. 

"Lecturers  on  history  take  less  trouble  to  teach  their  pu- 
pils the  dates  of  events,  than  to  explain  the  characters,  the 
good  and  evil  dispositions  of  kings,  of  generals  and  of  states- 
men, and  also  to  show  how  far  their  natural  propensities 
may  be  supposed  to  have  been  modified  by  circumstances. 
They  believe  that  it  is  of  little  value  to  know  that  such  a  bat- 
tle was  fought  in  such  or  such  a  year;   but  that  it  is  im- 


ibO  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

portant  to  consider  what  multitudes  of  men  in  every  century 
have  been  barbarous,  brutal,  unjust,  sanguinary^,  always 
ready  to  throw  away  their  own  lives  without  necessity,  and 
attack  the  lives  of  others  without  cause.  How  many  wars 
have  been  waged  which  were  positively  disgraceful  to  hu- 
manity, and  how  powerful  the  motives  nmst  have  been  that 
led  to  such  fatal  results.  They  deem  the  history  of  the  prog- 
ress of  human  intelligence  the  best  of  all  histories,  and  they 
are  anxious  that  their  pupils  should  estimate  facts  rather 
than  merely  retain  them  in  the  memory. 

"They  are  anxious  that  a  love  for  the  sciences  should  be 
limited,  and  that  each  pupil  should  choose  the  branch  of 
study  most  in  accordance  with  his  talents  and  inclinations; 
they  esteem  a  man  who  reads  too  much,  as  scarcely  better 
than  a  man  who  eats  too  much;  asserting  that  the  mind  is 
subject  to  indigestion  as  well  as  the  body.  The  emperor 
alone  possesses  a  large  and  extensive  library.  The  private 
bibliomaniacs  who  accumulate  large  collections  of  volumes, 
are  contemptuously  called  'donkeys  laden  with  books.' 

''Philosophy  with  these  people  is  a  cheerful  and  lively 
study,  not  as  with  us,  smothered  beneath  the  solemn  trifling 
and  pedantic  jargon  of  the  schools.  They  know  nothing  of 
syllogisms,  categories,  first  and  second  intentions  and  the 
other  cramboes  and  follies  of  dialectics.  Their  philosophy 
consists  in  establishing  infallible  principles,  which  lead  the 
mind  to  prefer  the  moderate  condition  of  an  honest  man  to 
the  riches  and  pride  of  a  financier;  and  they  honor  the  vic- 
tories obtained  over  the  passions  more  than  the  greatest 
triumphs  won  by  conquerors.  It  teaches  them  to  live  tem- 
perately, to  avoid  every  species  of  voluptuous  indulgence, 
to  shun  everything  which  tends  to  render  the  mind  de- 
pendent on  the  body,  and  thus  destroys  the  freedom  of  the 
understanding. 

"Pupils  are  exhorted  to  choose  their  future  pursuits  with 
great  deliberation,  and  endeavors  are  made  to  guide  them 
in  the  selection  of  the  most  suitable  course;  less  regard  is 
paid  to  property  than  to  intelligence,  so  that  the  son  of  a 
laborer  is  often  a  minister  of  state,  and  the  son  of  a  lord 
engaged  in  trade.  Physic  and  mathematics  are  esteemed  in 
Lilliput  only  so  far  as  their  sciences  are  profitable  to  actual 
life  and  the  progress  of  the  useful  arts.  In  general  they  have 
little  anxiety  to  be  acquainted  with  every  part  of  the  uni- 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  131 

verse,  and  they  prefer  enjoying  nature  without  examination 
to  reasoning  on  the  order  and  motion  of  pTiysical  bodies. 
With  regard  to  metaphysics,  they  look  upon  the  entire  sub- 
ject as  the  baseless  fabric  of  a  vision. 

'They  hate  all  affectation  in  language  and  style,  whether 
in  verse  or  prose ;  and  they  say  that  peculiarities  of  expres- 
sion are  not  less  contemptible  than  peculiarities  of  dress. 
An  author  who  quits  the  natural  style  to  indulge  in  bombas- 
tic language,  extraordinary  metaphors,  and  quaint  figures, 
is  hissed  and  hooted  through  the  streets  like  a  monk  at  the 
carnival. 

'The  mind  and  body  are  cultivated  at  the  same  time  by 
the  Lilliputians;  for  the  object  of  education  is  to  form  a 
man,  and  therefore  no  part  of  his  nature  should  be  neg- 
lected. They  compare  the  soul  and  body  to  two  steeds 
yoked  under  a  carriage,  mischief  must  rise  if  one  goes  faster 
than  the  other.  Whilst  you  devote  your  attention  exclu- 
sively to  the  child's  mind,  say  they,  his  figure  m.ay  become 
distorted,  his  strength  weakened,  or  his  health  injured; 
if  you  only  attend  to  the  person,  the  mind  lies  fallow  and 
may  soon  be  overgrown  by  the  seeds  of  stupidity  and  ig- 
norance. 

'Tt  is  forbidden  to  inflict  any  painful  chastisement  on  chil- 
dren; they  are  punished  by  withholding  some  enjoyment, 
by  shame,  or  by  the  privation  of  two  or  three  lessons:  the 
last  mortifies  them  extremely,  because  they  seem  to  be 
abandoned  to  themselves  and  declared  unworthy  of  instruc- 
tion. Pain,  in  their  opinion,  tends  only  to  render  children 
cowards,  and  timidity  is  a  very  prejudicial  defect,  which 
can  rarely,  if  ever,  be  cured." 

TO  QUINBUS  FLESTRIN,  THE  MAN-MOUNTAIN. 

AN  ODE. 

BY  TITTY  TIT,  ESQ. 

POET  LAUREATE  TO  HIS  MAJESTY  OF  LILLIPUT. 


TRANSLATED  INTO  ENGLISH. 


In  amaze. 
Lost,  I  gaze! 
Can  our  eyes 
Reach  thy  size? 
May  my  lays 
Swell  with  praise! 


13^  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Worthy  thee! 
Worthy  me! 
Muse  inspire 
All  thy  fire. 
Bards  of  old 
Of  him  told, 
When  they  said 
^  Atlas'  head 

r  Propp'd  the  skies: 

See,  and  believe  your  eyes. 

See  him  stride 
Valleys  wide: 
Over  woods, 
Over  floods, 
When  he  treads. 
Mountains'   heads 
Groan  and  shake; 
Armies  quake, 
Lest  his  spurn 
Overturn 
Man  and  steed: 
Troops  take  heed! 
Left  and  right. 
Speed  your  flight! 
Lest  an  host 
Beneath  his  feet  be  lost. 

Turn'd  aside 
From  his  hide. 
Safe  from  wound 
Darts  rebound; 
From  his  nose 
Clouds  he  blows; 
When  he  speaks. 
Thunder  breaks! 
When  he  eats, 
Famine  threats; 
When  he  drinks, 
Neptune  shrinks! 
Nigh  thy  ear. 
In  mid  air; 
On  thy  hand 
Let  me  stand 
So  shall  I, 
Lofty  poet,   touch  the  sky. 


A  VOYAGE  TO  BROBDINGNAG; 


CHAPTER  I. 

GREAT  STORM  DESCRIBED;  THE  LONG  BOAT  SENT  TO  FETCH 
WATER— THE  AUTHOR  GOES  WITH  IT  TO  DISCOVER  THE 
COUNTRY-HE  IS  LEFT  ON  SHORE,  IS  SEIZED  BY  ONE  OF 
THE  NATIVES,  AND  CARRIED  TO  A  FARMER'S  HOUSE-HIS 
RECEPTION,  WITH  SEVERAL  ACCIDENTS  THAT  HAP- 
PENED THERE— A  DESCRIPTION  OF  THE  INHABITANTS. 

An  active  and  restless  life  having  been  assigned  me  by 
nature  and  fortune,  in  two  months  after  my  return  I  again 
left  my  native  country  and  took  shipping  in  the  Downs  on 
the  20th  day  of  June,  1702,  in  the  Adventure,  Captain  John 

t^'^^®*  existence  of  giants  as  a  distinct  race,  superior  in  strength 
J^9  ?5u  ®  *°  ^^®  ^^^^  °^  mankind,  was  long  maintained  as  an  article 
9r  taith,  not  merely  by  the  ignorant  and  vulgar,  but  by  men  of  learn- 
ing. Accordmg  to  the  Kabbins,  Adam  was  not  only  the  first,  but  the 
largest  of  mankind;  they  affirm  that  when  he  was  created,  his  stature 
was  so  great  that  his  head  reached  the  heavens.  This  so  annoyed 
tne  angels  that  they  rem.onstrated  with  the  Creator,  upon  which  God 
placed  his  hand  on  Adam's  head,  and  he  instantly  shrank  into  one 
thousand  cubits.  When  the  Garden  of  Eden  was  disjoined  from  the 
rest  of  the  world  after  the  Pall,  by  the  interposition  of  the  ocean, 
they  assert  that  Adam  waded  through  the  depths  to  his  new  habita- 
tion, and  that  Eve  accompanied  him  without  fear  of  drowning;  which 
she  might  well  do  if,  as  the  Mohammedan  doctors  tell  us,  when  her 
head  lay  on  a  hill  near  Mecca,  her  knees  rested  on  two  others  in  the 
plain,  more  than  two  bowshots  asunder. 

Not  only  Jewish  but  Christian  writers  have  maintained  that  a 
gigantic  antediluvian  race  was  produced  by  the  intercourse  between 
the  sons  of  God  and  "daughters  of  men"  (Gen.  6:  5).  And  they  aver 
that  these  giants  were  destroyed  by  the  universal  deluge.  Hence  the 
S^VfZ  version  renders  Job  26:  5:  "Behold  the  giants  groan  under  the 
r^i  r^'  ^"^  ^^^y  ^^^^  ^w^^^  with  them.  Hell  is  naked  before  them, 
and  there  is  no  coyer  for  perdition."  To  this  sublime  version  the 
following  comment  is  added:  "Giants  were  not  able  to  wade  in  Noah'.<=t 
nood,  but  were  drowned  with  the  rest."  The  Rabbins,  however,  make 
an  exception  m  favor  of  Og,  king  of  Basan,  compared  to  whom,  ac- 
cording to  their  legends,  all  other  giants  were  mere  Lilliputians.  Th€ 
waters  Of  the  Q^luge,  they  say,  only  reached  to  his  knees,  and  he  was 
alive  at  the  time  or  Exodus,  when  God  destroyed  him  by  the  hand  of 
Moses.  jHor  Og,  perceiving  the  advance  of  the  Israelites,  whose  army 
covered  a  space  of  nine  miles,  cut  a  stone  out  of  a  mountain,  so  wide 
tnat  it  vrould  have  covered  the  whole  army  and  he  put  it  on  his  head 
that  he  might  throw  it  upon  them.  But  God  sent  a  lapwing  which 
pecked  a  hole  through  the  stone,   so  that  it   slipped  over  Og's  head, 


134  GULLIVER'S  TRAVBLte. 

Nicholas,  a  Cornishman,  commander,  bound  for  Surat.  We 
had  a  very  prosperous  gale  till  we  arrived  at  the  Cape  of 
Good  Hope,  where  we  landed  for  fresh  v/ater;  but  discov- 

and  hung-  round  his  neck  like  a  necklace.  The  weight  bore  him  to 
the  ground  on  his  face,  and  in  this  condition  he  was  attacked  by 
Moses.  Moses  was  ten  cubits  in  stature  and  he  took  a  spear  ten 
cubits  long,  and  threw  it  ten  cubits  high,  and  yet  it  only  reached 
Og's  heels.  Moses,  however,  succeeded  in  slaying  him;  and  when  i;5e 
v,7as  dead,  his  body  lay  for  a  whole  year,  reaching  as  far  as  the  river 
Nile  in  Egypt. 

The  feats  of  the  giants  who  warred  against  the  gods  are  sufficiently 
known,  and  they  may  be  passed  over  as  purely  mythological.  But 
brave  historians  have  recorded  that  Scandinavia  was  originally  in- 
habited by  giants,  one  of  whom,  according  to  Olaus  Magnus,  was  an 
eminent  poet;  and,  unlike  the  rest  of  the  tuneful  brotherhood,  wrote 
against  indulgence  in  love  and  wine,  Britain,  if  we  may  trust 
Grafton's  Chronicle,  was  similarly  tenanted:  "Brute  with  his  com- 
panie  after  his  first  landing  in  the  island  of  Totnesse  searched  and 
travailed  throughout  all  the  land,  and  found  the  same  to  be  mar- 
velous ryche  and  plentiful  of  wood  and  pasture  and  garnished  with 
most  goodly  and  pleasant  ryvers  and  stremes;  and  as  he  passed  he 
was  encountered  in  sundry  places  with  a  great  number  of  mightie 
and  strong  gyants,  which  at  that  time  did  inhabite  the  same." 

A  belief  in  the  existence  of  whole  nations  of  giants  is  only  now 
beginning  to  fade  away  before  the  gradual  progress  of  geographical 
discovery.  The  ancients  supposed  that  giants  possessed  the  interior 
of  Africa.  In  the  time  of  Purchas  (A.  JJ.  16i4),  the  Indians  of  Virginia 
were  supposed  to  belong  to  the  race  of  Anak  for  he  gives  the  fol- 
lowing account  of  a  Virginian  tribe,  on  the  authority  of  Alexander 
Whitaker,  an  early  traveler  in  these  regions:  "The  Sasquesahanockes 
are  a  giantly  people,  strange  in  proportion,  behavior,  and  attire,  their 
voice  sounding  trom  them  as  out  of  a  cave,  their  attire  of  bears'  skins, 
hanged  with  bears'  paws,  the  head  of  a  wolf,  and  such  like  jewels; 
and  (if  any  one  would  have  a  spoone  to  eat  with  the  divele>  their 
tobacco  pipes  were  three-quarters  of  a  yard  long,  carved  at  the  great 
end  with  a  bird,  beare,  or  other  device,  sufficient  to  beat  out  the 
braines  of  a  horse  (and  how  many  asses'  braines  are  beat  out  or 
rather  men's  braines  smoked  out  and  asses'  braines  haled  in,  by  our 
lessee  pipes  at  home?),  the  rest  of  their  furniture  was  suitable.  The 
calf  of  one  of  their  legges  was  measured  three-quarters  of  a  yard 
about,  the  rest  of  his  limbs  proportionable."  The  exaggerated  ac- 
counts of  the  Patagonians,  published  by  Magellan  and  Le  Maire 
had  not  been  refuted  in  Swift's  time;  so  late  as  1764,  Commodore 
Byron  declared  that  their  stature  filled  him  with  astonishment. 
Hence  Brobdingnag,  considered  merely  as  a  fiction,  did  not  seem  so 
extravagant  in  the  early  part  of  the  eighteenth  as  it  does  in  the  nine- 
teenth century. 

Lucian  in  his  True  History,  and  Bishop  Godwin  in  his  whimsicai 
account  of  Domingo  Gonsales'  journey  to  the  moon,  have  introduced 
g-igantic  races  into  their  fictions.  It  is  very  probable  that  Swift  took 
his  first  hint  of  the  Brobdingnagians  from  the  latter;  for,  like  the 
bishop,  he  associates  mildness  and  gentleness  with  enormous  stature. 
"Many  of  the  lunarians,"  says  the  author  of  the  World  in  the  Moon, 
"live  wonderful  long,  even  beyond  belief;  affirming  to  me  that  some 
survived  thirty  thousand  moons,  which  is  above  a  thousand  years; 
p.nd  this  is  generally  noted,  that  the  taller  people  are  of  stature  the 
more  excellent  are  their  endowments  of  mind,  and  the  longer  time 
they  live;  for  their  stature  is  very  different,  great  numbers  not  much 
exceeding  ours,  who  seldom  live  above  a  thousand  moons,  which  is 
fourscore  of  our  years.  These  they  account  base  unworthy  crea- 
tures, but  one  degree  above  brute  beasts,  and  employ  them  in  mean  and 
servile  offices,  calling  them  bastards,  counterfeits,  or  changelings. 
Those  whom  they  account  true  natural  lunars,  or  moon-men,  exceed 
ours  generally  thirty  times,  both  in  quantity  of  body  and  length  of 
life,  proportionable  to  the  quality  of  the  day  In  both  worlds;  theli?5 
containing'  almost  thirty  of  our  days," 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  135 

ering  a  leak,  we  unshipped  our  goods  and  wintered  there; 
for  the  captain  faihng  sick  of  an  ague,  we  could  not  leave 
the  Cape  till  the  end  of  March.    We  then  set  sail,  and  had  a 
good  voyage  till  we  passed  the  straits  of  Madagascar;   but 
having  got  northward  of  that  island,  and  to  about  five  de- 
grees south  latitude,  the  winds,  which  in  those  seas  are  ob- 
served to  blow  a  constant  equal  gale  between  the  north  and 
west,  from  the  beginning  of  December  to  the  beginning  of 
May,  on  the  19th  of  April  began  to  blow  with  much  greater 
violence  and  more  westerly  than  usual,  continuing  so  for 
twenty  days  together;  during  which  time  we  were  driven  a 
little  to  the  east  of  the  Molucca  Islands,  and  about  three  de- 
grees northward  of  the  line,  as  our  captain  found  by  an  ob- 
servation he  took  the  2d  of  May,  at  which  time  the  wind 
ceased,  and  it  was  a  perfect  calm ;  whereat  I  was  not  a  little 
rejoiced.    But  he  being  a  man  well  experienced  in  the  navi- 
gation of  those  seas,  bid  us  all  prepare  against  a    storm, 
which  accordingly  happened  on  the  day  following;   for  the 
southern  wind,  called  the  southern  monsoon,  began  to  set  in. 
Finding  it  wa^  likely  to  overblow,"-^'  v/e  took  in  our  sprit- 
sail,  and  stood  by  to  hand  the  foresail;    but,  making  foul 
weather,  we  looked  if  the  guns  were  all  fast,  and  handed 
the  mizzen.    The  ship  lay  very  broad  off,  so  we  thought  it 
better  spooning  before  the  sea,  then  trying  or  hulling.    We 
reefed  the  foresail  and  set  him,  and  hauled  aft  the  foresheet: 
the   helm   was   hard-a-weather.     The  ship   v/ore    bravely. 
We  belayed  the  fore  downhaul ;  but  the  sail  was  split,  and 
we  hauled  down  the  yard  and  got  the  sail  into  the  ship,  and 
unbound  all  the  things  clear  of  it.     It  was  a  very  fierce 
storm;   the  sea  broke  strange  and  dangerous.    We  hauled 
off  upon  the  laniard  of  the  whipstaff  and  helped  the  man  at 
the  helm.    We  could  not  get  down  our  toprnast,  but  let  all 
stand,  because  she  scudded  before  the  sea  very  well,  and  we 
knew  that  the  topmast  being  aloft,  the  ship  v/as  the  whole- 
somer  and  made  better  way  through  the  sea,  seeing  we  had 
sea-room.     When  the  storm  was  over  we  set  foresail  and 
mainsail  and  brought  the  ship  to.    Then  we  set  the  mizzen, 
maintopsail  and  the  foretopsail.    Our  course  was  east-north- 
east, and  the  wind  was  at  southwest.    We  got  the  starboard 
tacks  aboard,  we  cast  off  our  v/eather  braces  and  lifts;  we 

*  This  is  a  parody  upon  the  accoimt  of  storms  and  naval  manoeu- 
yers  frequent  m  old  voyages,  and  is  merely  an  assemblage  of  sea- 
terms  put  together  at  random. 


136  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

set  in  the  lee  braces  and  hauled  forward  by  the  weather- 
bowlings,  and  hauled  them  tight,  and  belayed  them,  and 
hauled  over  the  mizzen-tack  to  windward,  and  kept  her  full 
and  by  as  near  as  she  would  lie.  During  this  storm,  which 
was  followed  by  a  strong  wind  west-south-west,  we  were 
carried,  by  my  computation,  about  five  hundred  leagues  to 
the  east,  so  that  the  oldest  sailor  on  board  could  not  tell  in 
what  part  of  the  world  we  were.  Our  provisions  held  out 
well,  our  ship  was  stanch,  and  our  crew  all  in  good  health ; 
but  we  lay  in  the  utmost  distress  for  water.  W^e  thought  it 
best  to  hold  on  the  same  course,  rather  than  turn  more 
northerly,  which  might  have  brought  us  to  the  northwest 
part  of  Great  Tartary  and  into  the  Frozen  Sea. 

On  the  1 6th  day  of  June,  1703,  a  boy  on  the  topmast  dis- 
covered land.  On  the  17th  we  came  in  full  view  of  a  great 
island,  or  continent  (for  we  knew  not  whether);  on  the 
south  side  whereof  was  a  small  neck  of  land  jutting  out  into 
the  sea,  and  a  creek  too  shallow  to  hold  a  ship  of  above  one 
hundred  tons.  We  cast  anchor  within  a  league  of  this  creek, 
and  our  captain  sent  a  dozen  of  his  meruwell  armed  in  the 
long-boat,  with  vessels  for  water,  if  any  could  be  found.  I 
desired  his  leave  to  go  with  them,  that  I  might  see  the  coun- 
try and  make  what  discoveries  I  could.  When  we  came  to 
land  we  saw  no  river,  or  spring,  nor  any  sign  of  inhabitants. 
Our  men  therefore  wandered  on  the  shore  to  find  out  some 
fresh  water  near  the  sea,  and  I  walked  alone  about  a  mile  on 
the  other  side,  where  I  observed  the  country  all  barren  and 
rocky.  I  now  began  to  be  weary,  and  seeing  nothing  to  en- 
tertain my  curiosity,  I  returned  gently  towards  the  creek; 
and  the  sea  being  full  in  my  view,  I  saw  our  men  already 
got  into  the  boat  and  rowing  for  life  to  the  ship.  I  was 
going  to  holla  after  them,  although  it  had  been  to  little  pur- 
pose, when  I  observed  a  huge  creature  walking  after  them 
in  the  sea,  as  fast  as  he  could;  he  waded  not  much  deeper 
than  his  knees,  and  took  prodigious  strides:  but  our  men 
had  the  start  of  him  half  a  league,  and  the  sea  there-abouts 
being  full  of  sharp-pointed  rocks,  the  monster  was  not  able 
to  overtake  the  boat.  This  I  was  afterwards  told,  for  I  durst 
not  stay  to  see  the  issue  of  the  adventure,  but  ran  as  fast  as 
I  could  the  way  I  first  went,  and  then  climbed  up  a  steep  hill, 
w^hlch  gave  me  some  prospect  of  the  country.  I  found  it 
fully  cultivated;  but  that  which  first  surprised  me  was  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  137 

length  of  the  grass,  which,  in  those  grounds  that  seemed  to 
be  kept  for  hay,  was  about  twenty  feet  high. 

I  fell  into  a  highroad,  for  so  I  took  it  to  be,  though  it 
served  to  the  inhabitants  only  as  a  foot-path  through  a  field 
of  barley.  Here  I  walked  on  for  some  time,  but  could  see 
little  on  either  side,  it  being  now  near  harvest,  and  the  corn 
rising  at  least  forty  feet.  I  was  an  hour  walking  to  the  end 
of  this  field,  which  was  fenced  in  with  a  hedge  of  at  least  one 
hundred  and  twenty  feet  high,  and  the  trees  so  lofty  that  I 
could  make  no  computation  of  their  altitude.  There  was  a 
stile  to  pass  from  this  field  into  the  next.  It  had  four  steps, 
and  a  stone  to  cross  over  when  you  come  to  the  uppermost. 
It  was  impossible  for  me  to  climb  this  stile,  because  every 
step  was  six  feet  high,  and  the  upper  stone  about  twenty. 
I  was  endeavoring  to  find  some  gap  in  the  hedge,  when  I 
discovered  one  of  the  inhabitants  in  the  next  field,  advanc- 
ing towards  the  stile,  of  the  same  size  with  him  whom  I  saw 
in  the  sea  pursuing  our  boat.  He  appeared  as  tall  as  an  or- 
dinary spire  steeple,  and  took  about  ten  yards  at  every 
stride,  as  near  as  I  could  guess.  I  was  struck  with  the  ut- 
most fear  and  astonishment,  and  ran  to  hide  myself  in  the 
corn,  whence  I  saw  him  at  the  top  of  the  stile  looking  back 
into  the  next  field,  on  the  right  hand,  and  heard  him  call  in 
a  voice  many  degrees  louder  than  a  speaking-trumpet;  but 
the  noise  was  so  high  in  the  air,  that  at  first  I  certainly 
thought  it  was  thunder.  Whereupon  seven  monsters,  like 
himself,  came  towards  him,  with  reaping-hooks  in  their 
hands,  each  hook  about  the  largeness  of  six  scythes.  These 
people  were  not  so  well  clad  as  the  first,  whose  servants  or 
laborers  they  seemed  to  be;  for,  upon  some  words  he  spoke, 
they  went  to  reap  the  corn  in  the  field  where  I  lay.  I  kept 
from  them  at  as  great  distance  as  I  could,  but  was  forced  to 
move  with  extreme  difficulty,  for  the  stalks  of  corn  were 
sometimes  not  above  a  foot  distant,  so  that  I  could  hardly 
squeeze  my  body  betwixt  them.  However,  I  made  a  shift 
to  go  forward,  till  I  came  to  a  part  of  the  field  where  the  corn 
had  been  laid  by  the  rain  and  wind.  Here  it  was  impossible 
for  me  to  advance  a  step ;  for  the  stalks  were  so  interwoven, 
that  I  could  not  creep  through,  and  the  beards  of  the  fallen 
ears  so  strong  and  pointed,  that  they  pierced  through  my 
clothes  into  my  flesh.  At  the  same  time  I  heard  the  reaper? 
not  abov^  a  hundred  yards  behind  me.     Being  quite  dk 


138  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

pirited  with  toil,  and  wholly  overcome  by  grief  and  despair, 
I  lay  down  between  two  ridges,  ana  neartily  wished  I  might 
there  end  my  days.  I  bemoaned  my  desolate  widow  and 
fatherless  children.  I  lamented  my  own  folly  and  wilfulness, 
in  attempting  a  second  voyage,  against  the  advice  of  all 
my  friends  and  relations.  In  this  terrible  agitation  of  mind, 
I  could  not  forbear  thinking  of  Lilliput,  whose  inhabitants 
looked  upon  me  as  the  greatest  prodigy  that  ever  appeared 
in  the  world;  vv^here  I  was  able  to  draw  an  imperial  fleet  in 
my  hand,  and  perform  those  other  actions,  which  will  be 
recorded  forever  in  the  chronicles  of  that  empire,  while 
posterity  shall  hardly  believe  them,  although  attested  by 
millions.  I  reflected  what  a  mortification  it  must  prove  to 
me  to  appear  as  inconsiderable  in  this  nation,  as  one  single 
Lilliputian  would  be  among  us.  But  this  I  conceived  was  to 
be  the  least  of  my  misfortunes;  for,  as  human  creatures  are 
observed  to  be  more  savage  and  cruel  in  proportion  to  their 
bulk,  what  could  I  expect  but  to  be  a  morsel  in  the  mouth  of 
the  first  among  these  enormous  barbarians  that  should  hap- 
pen to  seize  me?  Undoubtedly  philosophers  are  in  the  right 
when  they  tell  us  that  nothing  is  great  or  little  otherwise 
than  by  comparison.  It  might  have  pleased  fortune,  to  have 
let  the  Lilliputians  find  some  nation  where  the  people  were 
as  diminutive  with  respect  to  them,  as  they  were  to  me.  And 
who  knows  but  that  even  this  prodigious  race  of  mortals 
might  be  equally  over-matched  in  some  distant  part  of  the 
world,  whereof  we  have  yet  no  discovery?* 

Scared  and  confounded  as  I  was,  I  could  not  forbear  go- 
ing on  with  these  reflections,  Vv^hen  one  of  the  reapers  ap- 
proaching within  ten  yeards  of  the  ridge  where  I  lay,  made 
me  apprehend  that  vv^ith  the  next  step  I  should  be  squashed 
to  death  under  his  foot,  or  cut  in  two  with  his  reaping- 
hook.  And,  therefore,  when  he  was  again  about  to  move, 
I  screamed  as  loud  as  fear  could  make  me:  whereupon  the 
huge  creature  trod  short,  and  looking  round  about  under 
him  for  some  time,  at  last  espied  me  as  I  lay  on  the  ground. 
He  considered  awhile,  with  the  caution  of  one  who  endeav- 
ors to  lay  hold  on  a  small  dangerous  animal  in  such  a  man- 

*  The  satire  in  the  account  of  the  Voyajfre  to  Lilliput  is  for  the  most 
part  personal,  but  in  the  account  of  Brobding-nag'  the  satire  is  general, 
and  directed  against  institutions  rather  than  individuals.  There  are, 
however,  a  few  sarcastic  hits  in  the  account  given  of  the  court  of 
Brobdingnag,  which  bore  hard  on  the  statesmen  of  the  day.— Percy, 
Bishop  of  Dromore,  MS, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  139 

ncr  that  it  shall  not  be  able  either  to  scratch  or  bite  him, 
as  I  myself  have  sometimes  done  with  a  weasel  in  Eng- 
land. At  length  he  ventured  to  take  me  behind,  by  the  mid- 
dle, between  his  forefinger  and  thumb,  and  brought  me 
within  three  yards  of  his  eyes,  that  he  might  behold  my 
shape  more  perfectly.  I  guessed  his  meaning,  and  my  good 
fortune  gave  me  so  much  presence  of  mind,  that  I  resolved 
not  to  struggle  in  the  least  as  he  held  me  in  the  air  above 
sixty  feet  from  the  ground,  although  he  previously  pinched 
my  sides,  for  fear  I  should  slip  through  his  fingers.  All  I 
ventured  was  to  raise  mine  eyes  toward  the  sun  and  place 
my  hands  together  in  a  supplicating  posture,  and  to  speak 
some  words  in  an  humble  melancholy  tone,  suitable  to  the 
condition  I  then  was  in;  for  I  apprehended  every  moment 
that  he  would  dash  me  against  the  ground,  as  we  usually 
do  any  little  hateful  animal  which  we  have  a  mind  to  destroy. 
But  my  good  star  would  have  it,  that  he  appeared  pleased 
with  my  voice  and  gestures,  and  began  to  look  upon  me  as 
a  curiosity,  much  wondering  to  hear  me  pronounce  artic- 
ulate words,  although  he  could  not  understand  them.  In 
the  meantime  I  vvas  not  able  to  forbear  groaning  and 
shedding  tears,  and  turning  my  head  towards  my  sides; 
letting  him  know,  as  well  as  I  could,  how  cruelly  I  was  hurt 
by  the  pressure  of  his  thumb  and  finger.  He  seemed  to  ap- 
prehend my  meaning;  for,  lifting  up  the  lappet  of  his  coat, 
he  put  me  gently  into  it,  and  immediately  ran  along  with  me 
to  his  master,  who  was  a  substantial  farmer,  and  the  same 
person  I  had  first  seen  in  the  field. 

The  farmer  having  (as  I  suppose  by  their  talk)  received 
such  an  account  of  me  as  his  servant  could  give  him,  took 
a  piece  of  a  small  straw,  about  the  size  of  a  walking-staff, 
and  therewith  lifted  up  the  lappets  of  my  coat,  which,  it 
seems,  he  thought  to  be  some  kind  of  covering  that  nature 
had  given  me.  He  blew  my  hair  aside  to  take  a  better 
view  of  my  face.  He  called  his  hands  about  him,  and  asked 
them,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  ''Whether  they  had  ever  seen 
in  the  fields  any  little  creature  that  resembled  me?"  he  then 
placed  me  softly  on  the  ground  on  all  fours,  but  I  immedi- 
ately got  up,  and  walked  slowly  backward  and  forvv^ard,  to 
let  those  people  see  I  had  no  intent  to  run  away.  They  all 
sat  down  in  a  circle  about  me,  the  better  to  observe  my 
motions.    I  pulled  off  my  hat,  and  made  a  low  bow  towards 


140  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  farmer.  I  fell  on  my  knees,  and  lifted  up  my  hands  and 
eyes,  and  spoke  several  words  as  loud  as  I  could;  I  took 
a  purse  of  gold  out  of  my  pocket,  and  humbly  presented  it 
to  him.  He  received  it  on  the  palm  of  his  hand,  and  then 
applied  it  close  to  his  eye  to  see  what  it  was,  and  afterwards 
turned  it  several  times  with  the  point  of  a  pin  (which  he 
took  out  of  his  sleeve),  but  could  make  nothing  of  it. 
Whereupon  I  made  a  sign  that  he  should  place  his  hand 
on  the  ground.  I  then  took  the  purse,  and  opening  it, 
poured  all  the  gold  into  his  palm.  There  were  six  Spanish 
pieces  of  four  pistoles  each,  beside  twenty  or  thirty  smaller 
coins.  I  saw  him  wet  the  tip  of  his  little  linger  upon  his 
tongue,  and  take  up  one  of  my  largest  pieces,  and  then  an- 
other :  but  he  seemed  to  be  wholly  ignorant  what  they  were. 
He  made  me  a  sign  to  put  them  again  into  my  purse,  and 
the  purse  again  into  my  pocket,  which  after  offering  it  to 
him  several  times,  I  thought  it  best  to  do. 

The  farmer  by  this  time,  was  convinced  I  must  be  a 
rational  creature.  He  spoke  often  to  me,  but  the  sound  of 
his  voice  pierced  my  ears  like  that  of  a  watermill,  yet  his 
words  were  articulate  enough.  I  answered  as  loud  as  I 
could  in  several  languages,  and  he  often  laid  his  ear  within 
two  yards  of  me,  but  all  in  vain,  for  we  were  wholly  unin- 
telligible to  each  other.  He  then  sent  his  servants  to  their 
work  and  taking  his  handkerchief  out  of  his  pocket,  he 
doubled  and  spread  it  on  his  left  hand,  which  he  placed  flat 
on  the  ground  with  the  palm  upward,  making  me  a  sign  to 
step  into  it,  as  I  could  easily  do,  for  it  was  not  above  a  foot 
in  thickness.  I  thought  it  my  part  to  obey,  and,  for  fear  of 
falling,  laid  myself  at  full  length  upon  the  handkerchief, 
with  the  remainder  of  which  he  lapped  me  up  to  the  head 
for  farther  security,  and  in  this  manner  carried  me  home  to 
his  house.  There  he  called  his  wife,  and  showed  me  to  her; 
but  she  screamed  and  ran  back,  as  women  in  England  do 
at  the  sight  of  a  toad  or  a  spider.  However,  when  she  had 
awhile  seen  my  behavior,  and  how  well  I  observed  the 
signs  her  husband  made,  she  was  soon  reconciled,  and  by 
degrees  grew  extremely  tender  of  me. 

It  was  about  twelve  at  noon  and  a  servant  brought  in 
dinner.  It  was  only  one  substantial  dish  of  meat  (fit  for  the 
plain  condition  of  a  husbandman),  in  a  dish  of  about  four- 
and-twenty  feet  diameter.    The  company  were,  the  farmer 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  141 

and  his  wife,  three  children,  and  an  old  grandmother.  When 
they  were  sat  down,  the  farmer  placed  me  at  some  distance 
from  him  on  the  table,  which  was  thirty  feet  high  from  the 
floor.  I  w^as  in  a  terrible  fright,  and  kept  as  far  as  I  could 
from  the  edge,  for  fear  of  falling.  The  wife  minced  a  bit  of 
meat,  then  crumbled  some  bread  on  a  trencher,  and  placed 
it  before  me.  I  made  her  a  low  bow,  took  out  my  knife  and 
fork,  and  fell  to  eat,  which  gave  them  exceeding  delight. 
The  mistress  sent  her  maid  for  a  small  dram  cup,  which 
held  about  two  gallons  and  filled  it  with  drink ;  I  took  up  the 
vessel  with  much  difficulty  in  both  hands,  and  in  a  most  re- 
spectful manner  drank  to  her  ladyship's  health,  expressing 
the  words  as  loud  as  I  could  in  English,  which  made  the 
company  laugh  so  heartily  that  I  was  almost  deafened 
with  the  noise.  This  liquor  tasted  like  a  small  cider,  and 
was  not  unpleasant.  Then  the  master  made  me  a  sign 
to  come  to  his  trencher  side;  but  as  I  walked  on  the  table, 
being  at  great  surprise  all  the  time,  as  the  indulgent  reader 
will  easily  conceive  and  excuse,  I  happened  to  stumble 
against  a  crust,  and  fell  fiat  on  my  face,  but  received  no  hurt. 
I  got  up  immediately,  and  observing  the  good  people  to  be 
in  much  concern,  I  took  my  hat  (which  I  held  under  my 
arm  out  of  good  manners),  and  waving  it  over  my  head, 
gave  three  huzzas,  to  show  I  had  got  no  mischief  by  my  fall. 
But,  advancing  forward  toward  my  master  (as  I  shall  hence- 
forth call  him),  his  youngest  son,  who  sat  next  to  him,  an 
arch  boy  of  about  ten  years  old,  took  me  up  by  the  legs,  and 
held  me  so  high  in  the  air  that  I  trembled  in  every  limb; 
but  his  father  snatched  me  from  him,  and  at  the  same  time 
gave  him  such  a  box  on  the  left  ear  as  would  have  felled  an 
European  troop  of  horses  to  the  earth,  ordering  him  to 
be  taken  from  the  table.  But  being  afraid  the  boy  might 
owe  me  a  spite,  and  well  remembering  how  mischievous 
all  children  among  us  naturally  are  to  sparrows,  rabbits, 
young  kittens,  and  puppy  dogs,  I  fell  on  my  knees,  and 
pointing  to  the  boy,  made  my  master  to  understand  as  well 
as  I  could,  that  I  desired  his  son  might  be  pardoned.  The 
father  complied,  and  the  lad  took  his  seat  again,  whereupon 
I  went  to  him.  and  kissed  his  hand,  which  my  master  took, 
and  made  him  stroke  me  gently  with  it. 

In  the  midst  of  dinner,  my  mistress's  favorite  cat  leaped 
into  her  lap.    I  heard  a  noise  behind  me  like  that  of  a  dozen 


142  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

stocking-weavers  at  work;  and  turning  my  head,  I  found 
it  proceeding  from  the  purring  of  that  animal,  who  seemed 
to  be  three  times  larger  than  an  ox,  as  I  computed  by  the 
view  of  her  head,  and  one  of  her  paws,  while  her  mistress 
was  feeding  and  stroking  her.  The  fierceness  of  this 
creature's  countenance  altogether  discomposed  me;  though 
I  stood  at  the  farther  end  of  the  table,  above  fifty  feet  off; 
and  though  my  mistress  held  her  fast,  for  fear  she  might 
give  a  spring,  and  seize  me  in  her  talons.  But  it  happened 
there  was  no  danger,  for  the  cat  took  not  the  least  notice 
of  me,  when  my  master  placed  me  within  three  yards  of  her. 
And  as  I  have  been  always  told,  and  found  true  by  experi- 
ence in  my  travels,  that  flying  or  discovering  fear  before  a 
fierce  animal,  is  a  certain  way  to  make  it  pursue  or  attack 
you,  so  I  resolved,  in  this  dangerous  juncture,  to  show  no 
manner  of  concern.  I  walked  with  intrepidity  five  or  six 
times  before  the  very  head  of  the  cat,  and  came  within  half 
a  yard  of  her;  whereupon  she  drew  herself  back,  as  if  she 
were  more  afraid  of  me.  I  had  less  apprehension  concern- 
ing the  dogs,  whereof  three  or  four  came  into  the  room,  as 
it  is  usual  in  farmers'  houses;  one  of  which  w^as  a  mastiff, 
equal  in  bulk  to  four  elephants,  and  a  greyhound  somewhat 
taller  than  the  mastiff,  but  not  so  large. 

When  dinner  was  almost  done,  the  nurse  came  in  with  a 
child  of  a  year  old  in  her  arms,  who  immediately  spied  me, 
and  began  a  squall  that  you  might  have  heard  from  Lon- 
don Bridge  to  Chelsea,  after  the  usual  oratory  of  infants,  to 
get  me  for  a  plaything.  The  mother,  out  of  pure  indulgence, 
took  me  up,  and  put  me  towards  the  child,  who  presently 
seized  me  by  the  middle,  and  got  my  head  into  his  mouth, 
where  I  roared  so  loud  that  the  urchin  was  frighted,  and  let 
me  drop,  and  I  should  infallibly  have  broke  my  neck,  if  the 
mother  had  not  held  her  apron  under  me.  The  nurse,  to 
quiet  her  babe  made  use  of  a  rattle,  which  was  a  kind  of  hol- 
low vessel  filled  with  great  stones,  and  fastened  by  a  cable  to 
the  child's  waist;  but  all  in  vain;  so  that  she  was  forced  to 
apply  the  last  remedy  by  giving  it  suck.  I  must  confess  no 
object  ever  disgusted  me  so  much  as  the  sight  of  her  mon- 
strous breast,  which  I  cannot  tell  what  to  compare  with,  so 
as  to  give  the  curious  reader  an  idea  of  its  bulk,  shape,  and 
color.  It  stood  prominent  six  feet,  and  could  not  be  less 
than  sixteen  in  circumference.    The  nipple  was  about  half 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  143 

the  bigness  of  my  head,  and  the  hue  both  of  that  and  the 
dug,  so  varied  with  spots,  pimples,  and  freckles,  that  noth- 
ing could  appear  more  nauseous:  for  I  had  a  near  sight  of 
her,  she  sitting  down,  the  more  conveniently  to  give  suck, 
and  I  standing  on  the  table.  This  made  me  reflect  upon  the 
fair  skins  of  our  English  ladies,  who  appear  so  beautiful  to 
us,  only  because  they  are  of  our  own  size,  and  their  defects 
not  to  be  seen  but  through  a  magnifying  glass;  where  we 
find  by  experiment,  that  the  smoothest  and  whitest  skins 
look  rough,  coarse,  and  ill-colored. 

I  remember,  when  I  was  at  Lilliput,  the  complexions  of 
those  diminutive  people  appeared  to  me  the  fairest  in  the 
world;  and  talking  upon  the  subject  with  a  person  of  learn- 
ing there,  who  was  an  intimate  friend  of  mine,  he  said  that 
my  face  appeared  much  fairer  and  smoother  when  he  looked 
on  me  from  the  ground,  than  it  did  upon  a  nearer  view, 
when  I  took  him  up  in  my  hand  and  brought  him  close, 
which  he  confessed  was  at  first  a  very  shocking  sight.  He 
said  "he  could  discover  great  holes  in  my  skin;  that  the 
stumps  of  my  beard  w^re  ten  times  stronger  than  the  bristles 
of  a  boar,  and  my  complexion  made  up  of  several  colors, 
altogether  disagreeable,"  although  I  must  beg  leave  to  say 
for  myself,  that  I  am  as  fair  as  most  of  my  sex  and  country, 
and  very  little  sunburned  by  all  my  travels.  On  the  other 
side,  discoursing  of  the  ladies  in  that  emperor's  court,  he 
used  to  tell  me,  ''one  had  freckles,  another  too  wide  a 
mouth,  a  third  too  large  a  nose;"  nothing  of  which  I  was 
able  to  distinguish.  I  confess  this  reflection  was  obvious 
enough ;  which,  however,  I  could  not  forbear,  lest  the  read- 
er might  think  those  vast  creatures  were  actually  deformed : 
for  I  must  do  them  the  justice  to  say,  they  are  a  comely  race 
of  people;  and  particularly  the  features  of  my  master's 
countenance,  although  he  were  but  a  farmer,  when  I  be- 
held him  from  the  height  of  sixty  feet,  appeared  very  well 
proportioned. 

Wheii  dinner  was  done,  my  master  went  out  to  his  labor- 
ers, and  as  I  could  discover  by  his  voice  and  gesture,  gave 
his  wife  a  strict  charge  to  take  care  of  me.  1  was  very  much 
tired  and  disposed  to  sleep,  which  my  mistress  perceiving, 
she  put  me  on  her  own  bed,  covered  me  with  a  clean  white 
handkerchief,  but  larger  and  coarser  than  the  mainsail  of  a 
man-of-war. 


144  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

I  slept  about  two  hours,  and  dreamt  I  was  at  home  with 
my  wife  and  children,  which  aggravated  my  sorrows  when  I 
awaked,*  and  found  myself  alone,  in  a  vast  room,  between 
two  and  three  hundred  feet  wide,  and  about  two  hundred 
high,  lying  in  a  bed  twenty  yards  wide.  My  mistress  was 
gone  about  her  household  affairs,  and  had  locked  me  in.  The 
bed  was  eight  yards  from  the  floor.  Some  natural  necessi- 
ties required  me  to  get  down.  I  durst  not  presume  to  call; 
and  if  I  had,  it  would  have  been  in  vain,  with  such  a  voice 
as  mine,  at  so  great  a  distance  as  from  the  room  where  I  lay 
to  the  kitchen  where  the  family  kept.  While  I  was  under 
these  circumstances,  two  rats  crept  up  the  curtains,  and  ran 
smelling  backwards  and  forwards  on  the  bed.  One  of  them 
came  up  almost  to  my  face,  whereupon  I  rose  in  a  fright, 
and  drew  out  my  hanger  to  defend  myself.  These  horrible 
animals  had  the  boldness  to  attack  me  on  both  sides,  and 
one  of  them  held  his  forefeet  on  my  collar;  but  I  had  the 
good  fortune  to  rip  up  his  belly  before  he  could  do  me  any 
mischief.  He  fell  down  at  my  feet;  and  the  other,  seeing 
the  fate  of  his  comrade,  made  his  escape,  but  not  without 
one  good  wound  on  the  back,  which  I  gave  him  as  he  fled, 
and  made  the  blood  run  trickling  from  him.  After  this 
exploit,  I  walked  gently  to  and  fro  on  the  bed,  to  recover 
my  breath  and  loss  of  spirits.  These  creatures  were  of  the 
size  of  a  large  mastiff,  but  infinitely  more  nimble  and  fierce ; 
so  that  if  I  had  taken  off  my  belt  before  I  went  to  sleep,  I 
must  have  infallibly  been  torn  to  pieces  and  devoured.  I 
measured  the  tail  of  the  dead  rat,  and  found  it  to  be  two 
yards  long,  wanting  an  inch ;  but  it  went  against  my  stom- 
ach to  draw  the  carcass  off  the  bed,  where  it  lay  still 
bleeding.  I  observed  it  had  yet  some  life,  but  with  a  strong 
slash  across  the  neck,  I  thoroughly  dispatched  it. 

Soon  after,  my  mistress  came  into  the  room,  who  seeing 
me  all  bloody,  ran  and  took  me  up  in  her  hand.  I  pointed  to 
the  dead  rat,  smiling,  and  making  other  signs,  to  show  I 
was  not  hurt,  whereat  she  w^as  extremely  rejoiced,  calling 
the  maid  to  take  up  the  dead  rat  with  a  pair  of  tongs,  and 
throw  it  out  of  the  window.  Then  she  set  me  on  a  table, 
where  I  showed  her  my  hanger  all  bloody,  and  wiping  it  on 
the  lappet  of  my  coat  returned  it  to  the  scabbard.     I  was 

♦  This  ought  to  have  been  "awoke,"  the  preterit  of  the  verb  neuter, 
not  "awaked,"  the  preterit  of  the  verb  active.— Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  145 

pressed  to  do  more  than  one  thing  which  another  could  not 
do  for  me,  and  therefore  endeavored  to  make  my  mistress 
understand  that  I  desired  to  be  set  down  on  the  floor;  which 
after  she  had  done,  my  bashfulness  would  not  suffer  me  to 
express  myself  farther,  than  by  pointing  to  the  door,  and 
bowing  several  times.  The  good  woman,  with  much  diffi- 
culty, at  last  perceived  what  I  would  be  at,  and  taking  me 
up  again  in  her  hand,  walked  into  the  garden,  where  she 
set  me  down.  I  went  on  one  side  about  two  hundred  yards, 
and  beckoning  to  her  not  to  look  or  to  follow  me,  I  hid  my- 
self between  two  leaves  of  sorrel,  and  there  discharged  the 
necessities  of  nature. 

I  hope  the  gentle  reader  will  excuse  me  for  dwelling  on 
these  and  tlie  like  particulars,  which,  however  insignificant 
they  may  appear  to  grovelling  vulgar  minds,  yet  will  cer- 
tainly help  a  philosopher  to  enlarge  his  thoughts  and  imag- 
ination, and  apply  them  to  the  benefit  of  public  as  private 
life,  which  was  my  sole  design  in  presenting  this,  and  other 
accounts  of  my  travels,  to  the  world;  wherein  I  have  been 
chiefly  studious  of  truth,  without  affecting  any  ornaments  of 
learning  or  of  style.  But  the  whole  scene  of  this  voyage 
made  so  strong  an  impression  on  my  mind,  and  is  so  deeply 
fixed  in  my  memory,  that  in  committing  it  to  paper  I  did  not 
omit  one  material  circumstance;  however,  upon  strict  re- 
view, I  blotted  out  several  passages  of  less  moment,  which 
were  in  my  first  copy,  for  fear  of  being  censured  as  tedious 
and  trifling,  whereof  travelers  are  often,  perhaps  not  without 
justice,  accused. 


CHAPTER  II. 


A  DESCRIPTION  OF  THE  FARMER'S  DAUGHTER  —  THE 
AUTHOR  CARRIED  TO  A  MARKET  TOWN,  AND  THEN  TO 
THE   METROPOLIS— THE   PARTICULARS   OF   HIS   JOURNEY. 

My  mistress  had  a  daughter  of  nine  years  old,  a  child  of 
towardly  parts  for  her  age,  very  dexterous  at  her  needle,  and 
skilful  in  dressing  her  baby.  Her  mother  and  she  contrived 
to  fit  up  the  baby's  cradle  for  me  against  night:  the  cradle 

10 


146  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

was  put  into  a  small  drawer  of  a  cabinet,  and  the  drawer 
placed  upon  a  hanging  shelf  for  fear  of  the  rats.  This  was 
my  bed  all  the  time  I  stayed  with  those  people,  though  made 
more  convenient  by  degrees,  as  I  began  to  learn  their  lan- 
guage and  make  my  wants  known.  This  young  girl  was  so 
handy,  that  after  I  had  once  or  twice  pulled  off  my  clothes 
before  her,  she  was  able  to  dress  and  undress  me,  though  I 
never  gave  her  that  trouble  when  she  would  let  me  do  either 
myself.  She  made  me  seven  shirts,  and  some  other  Hnen,  of 
as  fine  cloth  as  could  be  got,  which  indeed  was  coarser  than 
sackcloth ;  and  these  she  constantly  washed  for  me  Vv^ith  her 
own  hands.  She  was  likewise  my  school-mistress,  to  teach 
me  the  language;  when  I  pointed  to  anything,  she  told  mie 
the  name  of  it  in  her  own  tongue,  so  that  in  a  few  days  I  was 
able  to  call  for  whatever  I  had  a  mind  to.  She  was  very 
good-natured,  and  not  above  forty  feet  high,  being  little  for 
her  age.  She  gave  me  the  name  of  Grildrig,  which  the 
family  took  up,  and  afterwards  the  whole  kingdom.  The 
word  imports  what  the  Latins  call  nanunculusj  the  Italians 
homu7iceletino,  and  the  English  mamiikin.  To  her  I  chiefly 
owe  my  preservation  in  that  country ;  we  never  parted  while 
I  was  there;  I  called  her  my  Glumdalclitch,  or  little  nurse: 
and  should  be  guilty  of  great  ingratitude,  if  I  omitted  this 
which  I  heartily  wish  it  lay  in  my  power  to  requite  as  she 
deserves,  instead  of  being  the  innocent,  but  unhappy  in- 
strument of  her  disgrace,  as  I  have  too  much  reason  to  fear. 
It  now  began  to  be  known  and  talked  of  in  the  neighbor- 
hood, that  my  master  had  found  a  strange  animal  in  the 
field,  about  the  bigness  of  a  splacnuck,  but  exactly  shaped  in 
every  part  like  a  human  creature;  which  it  also  imitated 
in  all  its  actions ;  seemed  to  speak  in  a  little  language  of  its 
own,  had  already  learned  several  words  of  theirs,  Vv^ent  erect 
upon  two  legs,  was  tame  and  gentle,  would  come  when  it 
was  called,  do  whatever  it  was  bid,  had  the  finest  limbs  in 
the  world,  and  a  complexion  fairer  than  a  nobleman's 
daughter  of  three  years  old.  Another  farmer,  who  lived 
hard  by,  and  was  a  particular  friend  of  my  master,  came  on 
a  visit  on  purpose  to  inquire  into  the  truth  of  this  story. 
I  was  immediately  produced  and  placed  upon  a  table,  where 
I  walked  as  I  was  commanded,  drew  my  hanger,  put  it  up 
again,  made  my  reverence  to  my  master's  guest,  asked  him 
in  his  own  language  how  he  did,  and  told  him  he  was  wel- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVEILS.  147 

come,  just  as  my  little  nurse  had  instructed  me.  This  man, 
who  was  old  and  dim-sighted,  put  on  his  spectacles  to  be- 
hold me  better;  at  which  I  could  not  forbear  laughing  very 
heartily,  for  his  eyes  appeared  like  the  full  moon  shining  into 
a  chamber  at  two  windows.  Our  people,  who  discovered  the 
cause  of  my  mirth,  bore  me  company  in  laughing,  at  which 
the  old  fellow  was  fool  enough  to  be  angry,  and  out  of 
countenance.  He  had  the  character  of  a  great  miser;  and, 
to  my  misfortune,  he  well  deserved  it,  by  the  cursed  ad- 
vice he  gave  my  master,  to  show  me  as  a  sight  upon  a 
market-day  in  the  next  town,  which  was  half  an  hour's 
riding,  about  two  and  twenty  miles  from  our  house.  I 
guessed  there  was  some  mischief  contriving,  when  I  ob- 
served my  master  and  his  friend  whispering  long  together, 
sometimes  pointing  at  me;  and  my  fears  made  me  fancy 
that  I  overheard  and  understood  some  of  their  words.  But 
the  next  morning  Glumdalclitch,  my  little  nurse,  told  me 
the  whole  matter,  which  she  cunningly  picked  out  from  her 
mother.  The  poor  girl  laid  me  on  her  bosom,  and  fell  a 
weeping  with  shame  and  grief.  She  apprehended  some 
mischief  would  happen  to  me  from  rude  vulgar  folks,  who 
might  squeeze  me  to  death,  or  break  one  of  my  limbs  by 
taking  me  in  their  hands.  She  had  also  observed  how  mod- 
est I  was  in  my  nature,  how  nicely  I  regarded  my  honor,  and 
what  an  indignity  I  should  conceive  it  to  be  exposed  for 
money  as  a  public  spectacle  to  the  meanest  of  the  people. 
She  said,  her  papa  and  mamma  had  promised  that  Grildrig 
should  be  hers;  but  now  she  found  they  meant  to  serve 
her  as  they  did  last  year,  when  they  pretended  to  give  her  a 
lamb,  and  yet,  as  soon  as  it  was  fat,  sold  it  to  a  butcher.  For 
my  own  part,  I  may  truly  affirm,  that  I  was  less  concerned 
than  my  nurse.  I  had  a  strong  hope  which  never  left  me, 
that  I  should  one  day  recover  my  liberty  and  as  to  the  ig- 
nominy of  being  carried  about  for  a  monster,  I  considered 
myself  to  be  a  perfect  stranger  in  the  country,  and  that  such 
a  misfortune  could  never  be  charged  upon  me  as  a  re- 
proach, if  ever  I  should  return  to  England;  since  the  king  of 
Great  Britain  himself,  in  my  condition,  must  have  under- 
gone the  same  distress. 

My  master,  pursuant  to  the  advice  of  his  friend,  carried 
me  in  a  box  the  next  market-day  to  the  neighboring  town, 
and  took  along  with  him  his  little  daughter,  my  nurse,  upon 


148  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

a  pillion  behind  him.  The  box  was  close  on  every  side,  with 
a  little  door  for  me  to  go  in  and  out  and  a  few  gimlet-holes 
to  let  in  air.  The  girl  had  been  so  careful  as  to  put  the  quilt 
of  her  baby's  bed  into  it  for  me  to  lie  down  on.  However, 
I  was  terribly  shaken  and  discomposed  in  this  journey, 
though  it  were"^'  but  of  half  an  hour;  for  the  horse  went 
about  forty  feet  at  every  step,  and  trotted  so  high,  that  the 
agitation  was  equal  to  the  rising  and  falling  of  a  ship  in  a 
great  storm,  but  much  more  frequent.  Our  journey  was 
somewhat  farther  than  from  London  to  St.  Albans.  My 
master  alighted  at  an  inn  which  he  used  to  frequent;  and 
after  consulting  awhile  with  the  innkeeper,  and  making 
some  necessary  preparations,  he  hired  the  grultrud,  or  crier, 
to  give  notice  through  the  town,  of  a  strange  creature  to  be 
seen  at  the  sign  of  the  Green  Eagle,  not  so  big  as  a  splacnuck 
(an  animal  in  that  country  very  finely  shaped,  about  six  feet 
long),  and  in  every  part  of  the  body  resemlDling  a  human 
creature,  could  speak  several  words,  and  perform  a  hundred 
diverting  tricks. 

I  was  placed  upon  a  table  in  the  largest  room  of  the  inn, 
^which  might  be  near  three  hundred  feet  square.  My  little 
nurse  stood  on  a  low^  stool  close  to  the  table  to  take  care 
of  me,  and  direct  what  I  should  do.  My  master,  to  avoid 
a  crowd,  would  suffer  only  thirty  people  at  a  time  to  see 
me.  I  walked  about  on  the  table  as  the  girl  commanded, 
she  asked  me  questions,  as  far  as  she  knew  my  understand- 
ing of  the  language  reached,  and  I  answered  them  as  loud 
as  I  could.  I  turned  about  several  times  to  the  company, 
paid  my  humble  respects,  said  they  were  welcome,  and  used 
some  other  speeches  I  had  been  taught.  I  took  up  a  thimble 
tilled  with  liquor,  which  Glumdalclitch  had  given  me  for  a 
cup,  and  drank  their  health.  I  drew  out  my  hanger,  and 
flourished  with  it  after  the  manner  of  fencers  in  England. 
My  nurse  gave  me  a  part  of  a  straw,  which  I  exercised  as  a 
pike,  having  learned  the  art  in  my  youth.  I  was  that  day 
shown  to  twelve  sets  of  company,  and  as  often  forced  to  act 
over  again  the  same  fopperies,  till  I  was  half  dead  with  wear- 
iness and  vexation;  for  those  who  had  seen  me  made  such 
wonderful  reports,  that  the  people  were  ready  to  break  down 

*  The  subjunctive  mood  is  improperly  used  here;  it  should  have 
been  the  indicative,  "though  it  was,"  instead  of  "though  it  were."— 
Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  149 

the  doors  to  come  in.*  My  master,  for  his  own  interest, 
would  not  suffer  any  one  to  touch  me  except  my  nurse;  and 
to  prevent  danger,  benches  were  set  round  the  table  at  such 
a  distance  as  to  put  me  out  of  everybody's  reach.  However, 
an  unlucky  schoolboy  aimed  a  hazlenut  directly  at  my  head, 
which  very  narrowly  missed  me ;  otherwise  it  came  with  so 
much  violence,  that  it  would  have  infallibly  knocked  out 
my  brains,  for  it  was  almost  as  large  as  a  small  pumpkin; 
but  I  had  the  satisfaction  to  see  the  young  rogue  well  beaten, 
and  turned  out  of  the  room. 

My  master  gave  public  notice  that  he  would  show  me 
again  the  next  market-day;  and  in  the  meantime  he  pre- 
pared a  more  convenient  vehicle  for  me,  which  he  had 
reason  enough  to  do;  for  I  was  so  tired  with  my  first  jour- 
ney, and  with  entertaining  company  for  eight  hours  to- 
gether, that  I  could  hardly  stand  upon  my  legs,  or  speak  a 
word.  It  was  at  least  three  days  before  I  recovered  my 
strength,  and  that  I  might  have  no  rest  at  home,  all  the 
neighboring  gentlemen  from  a  hundred  miles  round,  hear- 
ing of  my  fame,  came  to  see  me  at  my  master's  own  house. 
There  could  not  be  fewer  than  thirty  persons  with  their 
wives  and  children  (for  the  country  is  very  populous) ;  and 
my  master  demanded  the  rate  of  a  full  room  whenever  he 
showed  me  at  home,  although  it  were  only  to  a  single^ 
family;  so  that  for  some  time,  I  had  but  little  ease  every 
day  of  the  week,  (except  Wednesday,  which  is  their  Sab- 
bath), although  I  was  not  carried  to  the  town. 

My  master  finding  how  profitable  I  was  likely  to  be,  re- 
solved to  carry  me  to  the  most  considerable  cities  of  the 
kingdom.  Having,  therefore,  provided  himself  with  all 
things  necessary,  for  a  long  journey,  and  settled  his  affairs 
at  home,  he  took  leave  of  his  wife,  and  upon  the  17th  of 
August,  1703,  about  two  months  after  my  arrival,  we  set 
out  for  the  metropolis,  situate  near  the  middle  of  that  em- 
pire, and  about  three  thousand  miles'  distance  from  our 
house.     My  master  made  his  daughter  Glumdalclitch  ride 

*  The  passion  for  shows  and  sight-seeing  v/as  never  at  a  greater 
^^¥^^  }P-  England  than  during  the  reign  of  George  I. ;  and  the  wags 
ot  the  day  derived  great  amusement  from  practicing  on  the  credulity 

the  people.  Immense  crowds  assembled  to  see  a  man  creep  into  a 
quart  Dottle,  and  when  they  discovered  that  they  had  been 
deceived,  were  near  destroying  the  house  in  their  rage.  Swift's  works 
contain  several  amusing  parodies  of  the  puffing  placards  in  which 
these  exhibitions  were  announced. 


150  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

behind  him.  She  carried  me  on  her  lap,  in  a  box  tied  about 
her  waist.  The  girl  had  lined  it  on  all  sides  with  the  softest 
cloth  she  could  get,  well  quilted  underneath,  furnished  it 
with  her  baby's  bed,  provided  me  with  linen  and  other  neces- 
saries, and  made  everything  as  convenient  as  she  could. 
We  had  no  other  company  but  a  boy  of  the  house,  who  rode 
after  us  with  the  luggage. 

My  master's  design  was  to  show  me  in  all  the  towns  by  the 
way,  and  to  step  out  of  the  road,  for  fifty  or  a  hundred  miles, 
to  any  village  or  person  of  quality's  house,  where  he  might 
expect  custom.  We  made  easy  journeys,  of  not  above 
seven  or  eight  score  miles  a  day;  for  Glumdalclitch,  on  pur- 
pose to  spare  me,  complained  she.was  tired  with  the  trotting 
of  the  horse.  She  often  took  me  out  of  the  box,  at  my  own 
desire,  to  give  me  air,  and  show  me  the  country,  but  always 
held  me  fast  by  a  leading-string.  We  passed  over  five  or 
six  rivers,  many  degrees  broader  and  deeper  than  the  Nile 
or  the  Ganges;  and  there  was  hardly  a  rivulet  so  small  as 
the  Thames  at  London  Bridge.  We  were  ten  weeks  on  our 
journey,  and  I  was  shown  in  eighteen  large  towns,  besides 
many  villages,  and  private  families. 

On  the  26th  day  of  October  we  arrived  at  the  metropolis, 
called  in  our  language  Lorbrulgrtid  or  Pride  of  the  Uni- 
verse. My  master  took  a  lodging  in  the  principal  street  of 
the  city,  not  far  from  the  royal  palace,  and  put  out  bills  in 
the  usual  form,  containing  an  exact  description  of  my  person 
and  parts.  He  hired  a  large  room  between  three  and  four 
hundred  feet  wide.  He  provided  a  table  sixty  feet  in  diame- 
ter, upon  which  I  was  to  act  my  part,  and  palisaded  it  round 
three  feet  from  the  edge,  and  as  many  high,  to  prevent  my 
falling  over.  I  was  shown  ten  times  a  day,  to  the  wonder 
and  satisfaction  of  all  people.  I  could  now^  speak  the  lan- 
guage tolerably  well,  and  perfectly  understood  every  word 
that  was  spoken  to  me.  Besides,  I  had  learned  their  alpha- 
bet, and  could  make  a  shift  to  explain  a  sentence  here  and 
there;  for  Glumdalclitch  had  been  my  instructor  while  we 
were  at  home,  and  at  leisure  hours  during  our  journey.  She 
carried  a  little  book  in  her  pocket,  not  much  larger  than  a 
Sanson's  Atlas;  it  was  a  common  treatise  for  the  use  of 
young  girls,  giving  a  short  account  of  their  religion:  out 
of  this  she  taught  me  my  letters,  and  interpreted  the  words. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  15i 


CHAPTER  III. 

THE  AUTHOR  SENT  FOR  TO  COURT— THE  QUEEN  BUYS  HIM 
OF  HIS  MASTER  THE  FARMER,  AND  PRESENTS  HIM  TO 
TPIE  KING— HE  DISPUTES  WITH  HIS  MAJESTY'S  GREAT 
SCPIOLARS— AN  APARTMENT  AT  COURT  PROVIDED  FOR 
THE  AUTHOR— HE  IS  IN  HIGH  FAVOR  WITH  THE  QUEEN 
—HE  STANDS  UP  FOR  THE  HONOR  OF  HIS  OV7N  COUNTRY— 
HIS    QUARRELS    WITH    THE   QUEEN'S   DWARF. 

Labors  such  as  I  underwent  every  day,  made  in  a  few 
weeks,  a  very  considerable  change  in  my  health:  the  more 
my  master  got  by  me,  the  more  insatiable  he  grew.  I  had 
quite  lost  my  stomach,  and  was  almost  reduced  to  a  skele- 
ton. The  farmer  observed  it,  and  concluded  I  must  soon 
die,  resolved  to  make  as  good  a  hand  of  me  as  he  could. 
While  he  was  thus  reasoning  vv^ith  himself,  a  sardral,  or  gen- 
tleman-usher, came  from  court,  commanding  my  master  to 
carry  me  immediately  thither  for  the  diversion  of  the  <[ueen 
and  her  ladies.  Some  of  the  latter  had  already  been  to  see 
me,  and  reported  strange  things  of  m.y  beauty,  behavior,  and 
good  sense.  Her  majesty  and  those  who  attended  her,  were 
beyond  measure  delighted  with  my  demeanor.  I  fell  on  my 
knees,  and  begged  the  honor  of  kissing  her  imperial  foot; 
but  this  gracious  princess  held  out  her  little  finger  towards 
me,  after  I  was  set  on  the  table,  vv^hich  I  embraced  in  both 
my  arms,  and  put  the  tip  of  it  with  the  utmost  respect  to  my 
lip.  She  made  me  some  general  questions  about  my  coun- 
try and  my  travels,  which  I  answered  as  distinctly,  and  in  as 
few  v/ords  as  I  could.  She  asked,  ''whether  I  would  be  con- 
tent to  live  at  court?"  I  bowed  down  to  the  board  of  the 
table,  and  humbly  answered,  ''that  I  v/as  my  master's  slave; 
but  if  I  were  at  my  ovv^i  disposal,  I  should  be  proud  to  de- 
vote my  life  to  her  majesty's  service,''  She  then  asked  my 
master,  "v\^hether  he  was  willing  to  sell  me  at  a  good  price?" 
He,  who  apprehended  I  could  not  live  a  month,  was  ready 
enough  to  part  with  me,  and  demanded  a  thousand  pieces 
of  gold,  which  were  ordered  him  on  the  spot,  each  piece  be- 
ing about  the  bigness  of  eight  hundred  moidores;   but  al- 


152  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

lowing  for  the  proportion  of  all  things  between  that  coun- 
try and  Europe,  and  the  higher  price  of  gold  among  them, 
was  hardly  so  great  a  sum  as  a  thousand  guineas  would  be 
in  England.  I  then  said  to  the  queen,  "since  I  was  now  her 
majesty's  most  humble  creature  and  vassal,  I  must  beg  the 
favor  that  Glumdalclitch,  who  had  always  tended  me  with 
so  much  care  and  kindness,  and  understood  to  do  it  so  well, 
might  be  admitted  into  her  service,  and  continue  to  be  my 
nurse  and  instructor." 

Her  majesty  agreed  to  my  petition,  and  easily  got  the 
farmer's  consent,  who  was  glad  enough  to  have  his  daugh- 
ter preferred  at  court,  and  the  poor  girl  herself  was  not  able 
to  hide  her  joy.  My  late  master  withdrew,  bidding  me  fare- 
well, and  saying  he  had  left  me  in  a  good  service ;  to  which 
I  replied  not  a  word,  only  making  him  a  slight  bow. 

The  queen  observed  my  coldness,  and,  when  the  farmer 
was  gone  out  of  the  apartment,  asked  me  the  reason.  I 
made  bold  to  tell  her  majesty,  "that  I  owed  no  other  obliga- 
tion to  my  late  master,  than  his  not  dashing  out  the  brains  of 
a  poor  harmless  creature,  found  by  chance  in  his  fields, 
which  obligation  was  amply  recompensed  by  the  gain  he 
had  made  in  showing  me  through  half  the  kingdom,  and 
the' price  he  now  sold  me  for.  That  the  life  I  had  since  led, 
was  laborious  enough  to  kill  an  animal  of  ten  times  my 
strength.  That  my  health  was  much  impaired  by  the  con- 
tinual drudgery  of  entertaining  the  rabble  every  hour  of 
the  day;  and  that,  if  my  master  had  not  thought  my  life  in 
danger,  her  majesty  w^ould  not  have  got  so  cheap  a  bar- 
gain. But  as  I  was  out  of  all  fear  of  being  ill-treated,  un- 
der the  protection  of  so  great  and  good  an  emipress,  the  or- 
nament of  nature,  the  darling  of  the  world,  the  delight  of 
her  subjects,  the  phoenix  of  the  creation;  so  I  hoped  my 
late  master's  apprehensions  would  appear  to  be  groundless ; 
for  I  already  found  my  spirits  revive,  by  the  influence  of  her 
most  august  presence." 

This  was  the  sum  of  my  speech,  delivered  with  great  im- 
proprieties and  hesitation.  The  latter  part  was  altogether 
framed  in  the  style  peculiar  to  that  people,  whereof  I  learned 
some  phrases  from  Glumdalclitch,  while  she  was  carrying 
me  to  court. 

The  queen,  giving  great  allowance  for  my  defectiveness 
in  speaking,  was    however,  surprised  at  so  much  wit  and 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  153 

good  sense  in  so  Hmrirtntivp  qp^arnrnal  She  took  me  in  her 
own  hand,  and  carried  me  to  the  king,  who  was  then  re- 
tired to  his  cabinet.  His  majesty,  a  prince  of  much  gravity 
and  austere  countenance,  not  well  observing  my  shape  at 
first  view,  asked  the  queen,  after  a  cold  manner,  "how  long  it 
was  since  she  grew  fond  of  a  splaaiuck?^^  for  such  it  seems 
he  took  me  to  be,  as  I  lay  upon  my  breast  in  her  majesty's 
right  hand.  But  this  princess,  who  has  an  infinite  deal  of  wit 
and  humor,  set  me  gently  on  my  feet  upon  the  scrutoire,  and 
commanded  me  to  give  his  majesty  an  account  of  myself, 
which  I  did  in  a  very  few  words,  and  Glumdalclitch,  who  at- 
tended at  the  cabinet  door,  and  could  not  endure  I  should 
be  out  of  her  sight,  being  admitted,  confirmed  all  that  had 
passed  from  my  arrival  at  her  father's  house. 

The  king,  although  he  be  as  learned  a  person  as  any  in  his 
dominions,  had  been  educated  in  the  study  of  philosophy, 
and  particularly  mathematics;  yet  when  he  observed  my 
shape  exactly,  and  saw  me  walk  erect,  before  I  began  tc» 
speak,  conceived  I  might  be  a  piece  of  clockwork  (which  is 
in  that  country  arrived  to  a  very  great  perfection)  contrived 
by  some  ingenious  artist.  But  when  he  heard  my  voice  and 
found  what  I  delivered  to  be  regular  and  rational,  he  could 
not  conceal  his  astonishment.  He  was  by  no  means  satis- 
fied with  the  relation  I  gave  him  of  the  manner  I  came  into 
his  kingdom,  but  thought  it  a  story  concerted  between 
Glumdalclitch  and  her  father,  who  had  taught  me  a  set  of 
words  to  make  me  sell  at  a  better  price.  Upon  this  im- 
agination, he  put  several  other  questions  to  me,  and  still 
received  rational  answers,  no  otherwise  defective  than  by 
a  foreign  accent,  and  an  imperfect  knowledge  of  the  lan- 
guage, with  some  rustic  phrases  which  I  had  learned  at  the 
farmer's  house,  and  did  not  suit  the  polite  style  of  a  court. 

His  majesty  sent  for  three  great  scholars,  who  were  then 
in  the  weekly  waiting,  according  to  the  custom  of  that 
country.  These  gentlemen,  after  they  had  awhile  examined 
my  shape  with  much  nicety,  were  of  different  opinions 
concerning  me.  They  all  agreed  that  I  could  not  be  pro- 
educed  according  to  the  regular  laws  of  nature,  because  I 
was  not  framed  with  a  capacity  of  preserving  my  life,  either  I 
by  swiftness,  or  climbing  of  trees,  or  digging  holes  in  the 
j  earth.  They  observed  by  my  teeth,  which  they  viewed  with, 
great  exactness,  that  I  was  a  carnivorous  animal;  yet  most 


154  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

quadrupeds  being  an  overmatch  for  me,  and  field  mice, 
with  some  others,  too  nimble,  they  could  not  imagine  how 
I  should  be  able  to  support  myself,  unless  I  ted  upon  snails 
and  other  insects;  which  they  offered,  by  many  learned  ar- 
guments,"^ to  evince  that  I  could  not  possibly  do.  One  of 
j4  these  virtuosi  seemed  to  think  that  I  might  be  an  embryo, 
\or  abortive.J»kth.  But  this  opinion  was  rejected  by  the 
other  two,  who  observed  my  limbs  to  be  perfect  and  fin- 
ished, and  that  I  had  lived  several  years,  as  it  was  manifest 
from  my  beard,  the  stumps  whereof  they  plainly  discovered 
^  tl]X^gh_jjma^nif^iag:iglas s.,  They  would  not  allow  me  to 
>e  a  dwarf,  because  my  littleness  was  beyond  all  degrees  of 
comparison;  for  the  queen's  favorite  dwarf,  the  smallest  in 
the  kingdom,  was  nearly  thirty  feet  high.  After  much  de- 
bate, they  concluded  unanimously  that  I  was  only  nE^plum 
jcjilclatl^  which  is  interpreted  literally  lusus  naturae;  a  de- 
termination exactly  agreeable  to  the  modern  philosophy  of 
Europe,  whose  professors,  disdaining  the  old  evasion  of  oc- 
cult causes,  whereby  the  followers  of  Aristotle  endeavored 
in  vain  to  disguise  their  ignorance,  have  invented  this  won- 
derful solution  of  all  difficulties,  to  the  unspeakable  advance- 
ment of  human  knowledge. 

After  tnis  decisive  conclusion,  I  entreated  to  be  heard  a 
word  or  two.  I  applied  myself  to  the  king,  and  assured  his 
majesty,  ''that  I  came  from  a  country  which  abounded  with 
several  millions  of  both  sexes,  and  of  my  own  stature; 
where  the  animals,  trees  and  houses  were  all  in  proportion, 
and  where,  by  consequence,  I  might  be  as  able  to  defend 
myself,  and  to  find  sustenance,  as  any  of  his  mxajesty's  sub- 
jects could  do  here;  which  I  took  for  a  full  answer  to  those 
gentlemen's  arguments.  To  this  they  only  replied  with  a 
smile  of  contempt,  saying,  ''that  the  farmer  had  instructed 
me  very  well  in  my  lesso^Jl^  The  king,  who  had  a  much 
better  understanding,  dismissed  his  learned  men,  sent  for 
the  farmer,  who  by  good  fortune  was  not  yet  gone  out  of      ^ 

/^  *  By  this  reasoning-  the  author  probably  intended^^Jtoridicule  the 
(  pride  of  those  philosophers  who  have  thought  fit  to^mrralgn^the  v/is- 
\  dom  of  Providens.e^-iii:"4ha  creation  and  governmeftt- ^^— ^e  wond: 
I  whose  cavals  are  •'specious)  like  those  of  the  Brobdingnagian  sages, 
/  only  in  proportion  ">crptbe^gnorance  of  those  to  whom  they  are  pro- 
(    posed.— Hawkesworth.\  ,  ...    /.    -4^     tX 

t  This  satire  is  levellfed  against'' all  who  reject  those  facts  for  which 
they  cannot  perfectly  §,ccount, /notwithstanding  the  absurdity  of  re^  ^ 

iecting-  the  testimony  by  which  t.hfy  are  supported. -r-Hawkesworth,  qP 


^<^^"^^ 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  155 

towl.t^  Having,  therefore,  first  examined  him  privately, 
and  men  confronted  him  with  me  and  the  young  girl,  his 
majesty  began  to  think  that  what  we  told  him  might  pos- 
sibly be  true.  He  desired  the  queen  to  order  that  a  particu- 
lar care  should  be  taken  of  me;  and  was  of  opinion  that 
Glumdalclitch  should  still  continue  in  her  office  of  tending 
me,  because  he  observed  we  had  a  great  affection  for  each 
other.  A  convenient  apartment  was  provided  for  her  at 
court;  she  had  a  sort  of  governess  appointed  to  take  care  of 
her  education,  a  maid  to  dress  her,  and  two  other  servants 
for  menial  offices;  but  the  care  of  m.e  was  wholly  appro- 
priated to  herself.  The  queen  commanded  her  own  cabi- 
net-maker to  contrive  a  box,  that  might  serve  me  as  a  bed- 
chamber, after  the  model  that  Glumdalclitch  and  I  should 
agree  upon.  This  man  v\-as  a  most  ingenious  artist,  and  ac- 
cording to  my  directions,  in  three  weeks  finished  for  me  a 
wooden  chamber  of  sixteen  feet  square,  and  twelve  high, 
with  sash  windov/s,  a  door  and  two  closets,  like  a  London 
bedchamber.  The  board  that  made  the  ceiling  was  to  be 
lifted  up  by  two  hinges,  to  put  in  a  bed  ready  furnished  by 
her  majesty's  upholsterer,  which  Glumdalclitch  took  out 
every  day  to  air,  made  it  with  her  own  hands,  and  letting  it 
down  at  night,  locked  up  the  roof  over  me.  A  nice  work- 
man, who  was  famous  for  little  curiosities,  undertook  to 
make  me  two  chairs,  with  backs  and  frames,  of  a  substance 
not  unlike  ivory,  and  two  tables,  with  a  cabinet  to  put  my 
things  in.  The  room  was  quilted  on  all  sides,  as  well  as  the 
floor  and  the  ceiling,  to  prevent  any  accident  from  the  care- 
lessness of  those  who  carried  me,  and  to  break  the  force  of  a 
jolt,  when  I  went  in  a  coach.  I  desired  a  lock  for  my  door, 
to  prevent  rats  and  mice  from  coming  in.    The  smith,  after 

I  several  attempts,  made  the  smallest  that  ever  was  seen 
among  them.,  for  I  have  kno^  a  larger  at  the  gate  of  a 
gentleman's  house  in  EnglandJ^  I  made  a  shift  to  keep  the 
key  in  a  pocket  of  my  own,  fearing  Glumdalclitch  might 
lose  it.    The  queen  likew^ise  ordered  the  thinnest  silks  jhat 


ced  I 
-  of  » 


$  Sir  Walter  Scott  thinks  that  Swift  has  designedly  introduced 
some  traits  of  William  III.'s  character  in  the  sketch  of  the  king  ol 
Brobding-nag;  but  if  anything  more  than  the  ideal  of  a  patriot  mon- 
arch is  designed,  it  is  probable  that  the  Dean  had  an  eye  to  the  Prince 
of  Wales,  afterwards  George  II.,  from  whom  the  Tories  had  formed 
favorable  anticipations. 

*  Swift's  frequent  references  to  proportions,  both  here  and  in  the 
Voyage  to  Lilliput,  give  an  air  of  probability  to  his  story  which  none 
of  his  imitators  have  been  able  to  attain. 


iV;^^  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

•^     could  be  gotten,  to  make  me  clothes,  not  much  thicker  than 

v^        ar^  Kng-li,qh  hl^r^ket.  very  cumbersome  till  i  was  accustomed 

\o  them.     They  were  after  the  fashion  of  the  kingdom, 

partly  resembling  the  Persian,  and  partly  the  Chinese,  and 

are  a  very  grave  and  decent  habit. 

The  queen  became  so  fond  of  my  company  that  she  could 
not  dine  without  me.  I  had  a  table  placed  upon  the  same 
at  which  her  majesty  ate,  just  at  her  elbow,  and  a  chair  to 
sit  on.  GlumdaVlitch  stood  on  a  stool  on  the  floor  near 
my  table  to  assist  and  take  care  of  me.  I  had  an  entire  set 
of  silver  dishes  and  plates,  and  other  necessaries  which,  in 
proportion  to  those  of  the  queen,  were  not  much  bigger 
than  what  I  have  seen  in  a  London  toy-shop,  for  the  fur- 
niture of  a  baby-house;  these  my  little  nurse  kept  in  her 
pocket  in  a  silver  box,  and  gave  me  at  meals  as  I  wanted 
them,  always  cleaning  them  herself.  No  person  dined  with 
the  queen  but  the  two  princesses  royal,  the  elder  sixteen 
years  old,  and  the  younger  at  that  time  thirteen  and  a 
month.  Her  majesty  used  to  put  a  bit  of  meat  upon  one  of 
my  dishes,  out  of  which  I  carved  for  myself;  and  her  diver- 
sion was  to  see  me  eat  in  miniature;  for  the  queen  (who  had 
indeed  but  a  weak  stomach)  took  up,  at  one  mouthful,  as 
much  as  a  dozen  English  farmers  could  eat  at  a  mea1^whi_ch 
to  me  for  some  time  was  a  very  nauseous  sight.  She  would/ 
craunch  the  wiiig  of  a  lark,  bones  and  all,  between  her  teeth, 
although  it  were  nine  times  as  large  as  that  of  a  full-grownj 
turkey;  and  cut  a  bit  of  bread  in  her  mouth,  as  big  as  twof 
twelve-penny  loaves,  j  She  drank  out  of  a  golden  cup,  above 
a  hogshead  at  a  draught.  Her  knives  were  twice  as  long  as 
a  scythe,  set  straight  upon  a  handle.  The  spoons,  forks 
and  other  instruments  were  all  in  the  same  proportion.  I 
remember  when  GlUmdalclitch  carried  me,  out  of  curiosity, 
to  see  some  of  the  tables  at  court,  where  ten  or  a  dozen  of 
those  enormous  knives  and  forks  were  lifted  up  together, 
I  thought  I  had  never  till  then  beheld  so  terrible  a  sight. 

It  is  the  custom  that  every  Wednesday  (which  as  I  have 
observed  is  their  Sabbath),  the  king  and  queen,  with  the 
royal  issue  of  both  sexes,  dine  together  in  the  apartment  of 
his  majesty,  to  whom  I  was  now  become  a  great  favorite; 
and  at  these  times  my  little  chair  and  table  were  placed  at 
his  left  hand  before  one  of  the  salt-cellers.  This  prince  took 
a  pleasure  in  conversing  with  me,  inquiring  into  the  man- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  15^ 

ners,  religion,  laws,  government  and  learning  of  Europe, 
wherein  I  gave  him  the  best  account  I  was  able.    His  appre- 
hension was  so  clear  and  his  judgment  so  exact  that  he 
made  very  wise  reflections  and  observations  upon  all  I  said, 
ri^ut  I  confess  that  after  I  had  been  a  little  too  copious  in 
Walking  of  my  own  beloved  country,  of  our  trade  and  wars 
jby  sea  and  land,  of  our  chisms  in  religion,  and  parties  in  the 
[state,  the  prejudices  of  his  education  prevailed  so  far  that\he 
/could   not  forbear   taking  me   up  in   his  right   hand  and 
/stroking  me  gently  with  the  other,  after  a  hearty  fit  of 
(laughing,  asked  me  whether  X  was  a  Whig  oj^JTory?    Then 
turning  to  his  first  minister,  who  waited  behind  him  with  a 
white  staff,  near  as  lall  as  the  mainmast  of  the  Royal  Sov- 
ereign, he  observed)  ''how  contemptible  a  thing  was  human 
grandeur,  which  could  be   mimicked  by   such  diminutive 
insects    as    I,    and    yet,"  says   he,   ''I   dare  engage  these 
creatures  have  their  titles  and  distinctions  of  honor;    they 
contrive  little  nests  and  burrows,  that  they  call  houses  and 
cities;    they  make  a  figure  and  dress   in  equipage;    they 
love,  they  fight,  they  dispute,  they  cheat,  they  betray."    And 
thus  he  continued  on,  while  my  color  came  and  went  several 
times  with  indignation  to  hear  our  noble  country,  the  mis- 
tress of  arts  and  arms,  the  scourge  of  France,  the  arbitress 
of  Europe,  the  seat  of  virtue,  piety,  honor  and  truth^::ti;£ 
pride  and  envy  of  the  world,  so  contemptuously  treatecj^*! 
But  as  I  was  not  in  a  condition  to  resent  injuries,  so  upon 
mature  thoughts  I  began  to  doubt  whether  I  was  injured  or 
ndyTV^For,  after  having  been  accustomed  several  months  to 
the  sight  and  converse  of  this  people,  and  observed  every 
object  upon  which  I  cast  mine  eyes  to  be  of  proportionable 
magnitude,  the  horror  I  had  at  first  conceived  from  their 
bulk  and  aspect  was  so  far  worn  off.  that  if  I  had  then  be- 
held a  company  of  English  lords  and  ladies  in  their  finery 
and  birthday  clothes,  acting  their  several  parts  in  the  most 
courtly  manner  of  strutting,  and  bowing,  and  prating;    to 
say  the  truth,  I  should  have  been  strongly  tempted  to  laugh 

*  These  boasts,  which  have  been  the  commonplaces  of  party  during 
the  last  two  centuries,  are  rendered  supremely  ridicu],ous  by  their 
contrast  with  the  speech  of  the  l^ng^of  BroDdmgnag. 

t  "Whether  I  was  injured  or  no."  This  vulgar  and  ungrammatical 
mode  of  expressio\  has  become  almost  universal;  but  instead  of  "no 
the  particle  "not"  shpuld  be  used.  The  absurdity  of  the  former  will 
appear  by  only  rep^'ting  tne  word  to  which  it  refers,  and  annexing 
to  it,  as  thus—,  "Whether  I  were  injured,  or  no  injured,"  whereas 
"whether  I  were  ii^dured  or  not  injured,"  Is  gooci  grammar.— Sheridan. 


108  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

as  much  at  them  as  the  king  and  his  grandees  did  at  me. 
Neither,  indeed,  could  I  forbear  smihng  at  myself  when  the 
queen  used  to  place  me  upon  her  hand  towards  a  looking- 
glass,  by  which  both  our  persons  appeared  before  me  in  full 
view  together;  and  there  could  be  nothing  more  ridiculous 
than  the  comparison ;  so  that  I  really  began  to  imagine  my- 
sHf  dw^'^'i^^d  mpny^.'^eriTPri  ,L£>1riY^/  Uiy  nsiial  size. 

Nothing  angered  and  mortified  me  so  much  as  the 
queen's  dwarf;  who,  being  oflhe  low^st-Stature  that  was 
ever  in  that  country  (for  I  verily  think  he  was  notlutTtHTrty 
feet  high),  became  so  insolent  at  seeing  a  creature  so  much 
beneath  him,  that  he  would  always  afiect  to  swagger  and 
look  big  as  he  passed  by  me  in  the  queen's  ante-chamber, 
while  I  was  standing  on  some  table  talking  with  the  lords 
or  ladies  oi  the  court,  and  he  seldom  failed  of  a  smart  word 
or  two  upon  my  littleness;  against  which  I  could  only  re- 
venge myself  by  calling  him  brother,  challenging  him  to 
wrestle,  and  such  repartees  as  are  usually  in  the  mouths  of 
court  pages.  One  day  at  dinner,  this  malicious  little  cub 
was  so  nettled  with  something  I  had  said  to  him,  that, 
raising  himself  upon  the  frame  of  her  majesty's  chair,  he 
took  me  up  by  the  middle,  as  I  was  sitting  down,  not  think- 
ing any  harm,  and  let  me  drop  into  a  large  silver  bowl  of 
cream,  and  then  ran  away  as  fast  as  he  could.  I  fell  over 
head  and  ears,  and  if  I  had  not  been  a  good  swimmer  it 
might  have  gone  very  hard  with  me;  for  Glumdalclitch  in 
that  instant  happened  to  be  at  the  other  end  of  the  room, 
and  the  queen  was  in  such  a  fright  that  she  wanted  presence 
of  mind  to  assist  me.  But  my  little  nurse  ran  to  my  relief, 
and  took  me  out,  after  I  had  swallowed  about  a  quart  of 
cream.  I  was  put  to  bed;  however,  I  received  no  other 
damage  than  the  loss  of  a  suit  of  clothes,  which  was  utterly 
spoiled.  The  dwarf  was  soundly  whipped,  and  as  a  farther 
punishment,  forced  to  drink  up  the  bowl  of  cream  into 
which  he  had  thrown  me:  neither  was  he  ever  restored  to 
favor;  for  soon  after  the  queen  bestowed  him  on  a  lady 
of  high  quality,  so  that  I  saw  him  no  more,  to  my  very 
great  "satisfaction:  for  I  could  not  tell  to  what  extremity 
such  a  malicious  urchin  might  have  carried  his  resentment. 

He  had  before  served  me  a  scurvy  trick,  which  set  the 
queen  a-laughing,  although  at  the  same  time  she  was  heart- 
ily vexed,  and  would  have  immediately  cashiered  him,  if  I 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  159 

had  not  been  so  generous  as  to  intercede.  Her  majesty 
had  taken  a  marrow-bone  upon  her  plate,  and,  after  knock- 
ing out  the  marrow,  placed  the  bone  again  on  the  dish  erect, 
as  it  stood  before;  the  dwarf,  watching  his  opportunity, 
while  Glumdalclitch  was  gone  to  the  sideboard,  mounted 
the  stool  that  she  stood  on  to  take  care  of  me  at  meals,  took 
me  up  in  both  hands,  and  squeezing  my  legs  together, 
wedged  them  into  the  marrow-bone  above  my  waist,  where 
I  stuck  for  some  time,  and  made  a  very  ridiculous  figure. 
I  believe  it  was  near  a  minute  before  any  one  knew  what 
was  become  of  me;  for  I  thought  it  below  me  to  cry  out. 
But,  as  princes  seldom  get  their  meat  hot,  my  legs  were 
not  scalded,  only  my  stockings  and  breeches  in  a  sad  con- 
dition. The  dwarf,  at  my  entreaty,  had  no  other  punish- 
ment than  a  sound  whipping. 

I  was  frequently  rallied  by  the  queen  upon  account  of  my 
fearfulness;  and  she  used  to  ask  me  whether  the  people  of 
my  country  were  as  great  cowards  as  mvself !  The  occasion 
was  this:   the  kingdom  is  much  pestered  with  flies  in  the 
summer;  and  these  odious  insects,  each  of  them  as  big  as  a 
ffjSfunstahle  lark,  hardly  gave  me  any  rest  while   I   sat  at 
dinner,  with  their  continual  humming  and  buzzing  about 
^^f^(y      m^ne  ears.    They  would  sometimes  alight  upon  my  victuals, 
p    ->      .g^d   leave   their  loathsome   excrement   or   spawn   behind, 
Ip^  ,y  which  to  me  was  very  visible,  though  not  to  the  natives  of 
or   ^v    that  country,  whose  larger  optics  were  not  so  acute  as  mine 
^  fW^  in  viewing  smaller  objects.    Sometimes  they  would  fix  upon 
my  nose  or  forehead,  where  they  stung  me  to  the  quick, 
smelling  very  offensively;  and  I  could  easily  trace  that  vis- 
cous matter  which,  our  naturalists  tell  us,  enables  those  crea- 
tures to  walk  with  their  feet  upwards  upon  a  ceiling.    I  had 
much  ado  to  defend  myself  against  these  detestable  ani- 
mals, and  could  not  forbear  starting  when  they  came  on  my 
face.     It  was  the  common  practice  of  the  dwarf,  to  catch  a 
number  of  these  insects  in  his  hand,  as  schoolboys  do  among 
us,  and  let  them  out  suddenly  under  my  nose,  on  purpose 
to  frighten  me,  and  divert  the  queen.     My  remedy  was  to 
cut  them  in  pieces  with  my  knife,  as  they  flew  in  the  air, 
wherein  my  dexterity  was  much  admired. 

I  remember,  one  morning,  when  Glumdalclitch  had  set 
me  in  a  box  upon  a  window,  as  she  usually  did  in  fair  days 
to  give  me  air  (for  I  durst  not  venture  to  let  the  box  be  hung 


..0 


m 


160  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

on  a  nail  out  of  the  window,  as  we  do  with  cages  in  Eng- 
land), after  I  had  lifted  up  one  of  my  sashes,  and  sat  down 
at  my  table  to  eat  a  piece  of  sweet  cake  for  my  breakfast, 
above  twenty  wasps,  allured  by  the  smell,  came  flying  into 
the  room,  humming  louder  than  the  drones  of  as  many 
bagpipes.  Some  of  them  seized  my  cake  and  carried  it 
piecemeal  away;  others  flew  about  my  head  and  face,  con- 
founding me  with  the  noise,  and  putting  me  in  the  utmost 
terror  of  their  stings.  However,  I  had  the  courage  to  rise 
and  draw  my  hanger,  and  attack  them  in  the  air.  I  dis- 
patched four  of  them,  but  the  rest  got  away,  and  I  presently 
shut  my  window.  These  insects  were  as  large  as  par- 
tridges: I  took  out  their  stings,  found  them  an  inch  and 
a  half  long,  and  as  sharp  as  needles.  I  carefully  preserved 
them  all;  and  having  since  shown  them,  with  some  other 
curiosities,  in  several  parts  of  Europe;  upon  my  return 
to  England  I  gave  three  of  them  to  Gresham  College  and 
kept  the  fourth  myself. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


THE  COUNTRY  DESCRIBED— A  PROPOSAL  FOR  CORRECTING 
MODERN  MAPS  — THE  KING'S  PALACE,  AND  SOME  AC- 
COUNT OF  THE  METROPOLIS  —  THE  AUTHOR'S  WAY  OF 
TRAVELING— THE    CHIEF    TEMPLE    DESCRIBED. 

Journeys  with  Glumdalclitch  having  given  me  some 
knowledge  of  the  country,  I  now  intend  to  give  the  reader 
a  short  description  of  it,  as  far  as  I  traveled,  which  was 
not  above  two  thousand  miles  round  Lorbrulgrud,  the 
metropolis.  For  the  queen,  whom  I  always  attended,  never 
went  farther  when  she  accompanied  the  king  in  his  prog- 
resses, and  there  stayed  till  his  majesty  returned  from  view- 
ing his  frontiers.  The  whole  extent  of  this  prince's  domin- 
ions reaches  about  six  thousand  miles  in  length,  and  from 
three  to  five  in  breadth,  when  I  cannot  but  conclude  that 
our  geographers  of  Europe  are  in  great  error,  by  supposing 
nothing  but  sea  between  Japan  and  California;   for  it  was 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  161 

ever  my  opinion,  that  there  must  be  a  balance  of  earth  to 
counterpoise  the  great  continent  of  Tartary;  and  therefore 
they  ought  to  correct  their  maps  and  charts,  by  joining  this 
vast  tract  of  land  to  the  northwest  parts  of  America,  wherein 
I  shall  be  ready  to  lend  them  my  assistance. 

The  kingdom  is  a  peninsula,  terminated  to  the  northeast 
by  a  ridge  of  mountains  thirty  miles  high,  which  are  alto- 
gether impassable,  by  reason  of  the  volcanoes  upon  the  tops ; 
neither  do  the  most  learned  know  what  sort  of  mortals  in- 
habit beyond  those  mountains,  or  whether  they  be  inhabited 
at  all.  On  the  three  other  sides,  it  is  bounded  by  the  ocean. 
There  is  not  one  seaport  in  the  whole  kingdom;  and  those 
parts  of  the  coasts  into  which  the  rivers  issue,  are  so  full  of 
pointed  rocks,  and  the  sea  generally  so  rough,  that  there  is 
no  venturing  with  the  smallest  of  their  boats;  so  that  these 
people  are/^^l^ijlv  excluded  from  any  commerce  with  the  rest 
of  the  wori^j^^ut  the  large  rivers  are  full  of  vessels,  and 
abound  with  excellent  fish;  for  they  seldom  get  any  from  the 
sea,  because  the  sea-fish  are  of  the  same  size  with  those  in 
Europe,  and  consequently,  not  worth  catching;  whereby  it 
is  manifest,  that  nature,  in  the  production  of  plants  and  ani- 
mals of  so  extraordinary  a  bulk,  is  wholly  confined  to  this 
continent,  of  which  I  leave  the  reasons  to  be  determined  by 
philosophers.  However,  now  and  then  they  take  a  whale 
that  happens  to  be  dashed  against  the  rocks,  which  the  com- 
mon people  feed  on  heartily.  These  whales  I  have  known  so 
large,  that  a  man  could  hardly  carry-  one  upon  his  shoulders ; 
and  sometimes,  for  curiosity,  they  are  brought  in  hampers 
to  Lorbrulgrud;  I  saw  one  of  them  in  a  dish  at  the  king's 
table,  which  passed  for  a  rarity,  but  I  did  not  observe  he  was 
fond  of  it;  for  I  think,  indeed,  the  bigness  disgusted  him, 
although  I  have  seen  one  somewhat  larger  in  Greenland. 

*  This  description  of  a  sea  that  could  not  be  safely  navigated, 
appears  to  have  been  taken  from  that  veracious  traveler.  Sir  J. 
Mandeyille.  '*From  the  land  of  Bactry,  men  go  many~a^'^~JUTirney 
to  the  land  of  Prester  John,  that  is  a  great  emperor  of  Inde;  and  men 
call  his  land  the  yle  of  Pantoxore.  *  *  *  There  are  many  places  in 
the  sea  where  are  many  rocks  of  a  stone  that  is  called  adamand,  the 
which  of  his  own  kind  draweth  all  manner  of  yron,  and  therefore 
there  may  be  no  ships  that  hath  yron  nayles  pass  but  it  draweth  them 
to  him,  and  therefore  they  dare  not  go  into  that  country  with  ships 
for  fear  of  adamand.  I  went  once  into  that  sea,  and  saw  along  it  as 
it  had  been  a  great  yle  of  trees,  stockes  and  branches  growinge,  and 
the  shipmen  told  me  that  those  were  of  greate  shippes  that  abode 
there  through  the  vertue  of  the  adamandes,  and  of  things  that  were 
in  the  shippes,  whereof  those  trees  sprung  and  waxed." 
11 


162  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

The  country  is  well  inhabited,  for  it  contains  fifty-one 
cities,  near  a  hundred  walled  towns,  and  a  great  number  of 
villages.  To  satisfy  my  curious  reader,  it  may  be  sui^cient 
to  describe  Lorbrulgrud.  This  city  stands  upon  almost  two 
equal  parts,  on  each  side  of  the  river  that  passes  through.  It 
contains  above  eighty  thousand  houses,  and  about  six  hun- 
dred thousand  inhabitants.  It  is  in  length  three  glomg- 
lungs  (which  makes  about  fifty-four  English  miles),  and  two 
and  a  half  in  breadth;  as  I  measured  it  myself  in  the  royal 
map  made  by  the  king's  order,  which  was  laid  on  the  ground 
on  purpose  for  me,  and  extended  a  hundred  feet;  I  paced  the 
diameter  and  circumference  several  times  barefoot,  and  com- 
puting by  the  scale,  measured  it  pretty  exactly. 

The  king's  palace  is  no  regular  edifice,  but  a  heap  of  build- 
ing about  seven  miles  round :  the  chief  rooms  are  generally 
two  hundred  and  forty  feet  high,  and  broad  and  long  in  pro- 
portion. A  coach  was  allowed  to  Glumdalclitch  and  me, 
wherein  her  governess  frequently  took  her  out  to  see  the 
town,  or  go  among  the  shops ;  and  I  Vv^as  always  of  the  party, 
carried  in  my  box;  although  the  girl,  at  my  own  desire, 
would  often  take  me  out,  and  hold  me  in  her  hand,  that  I 
might  more  conveniently  view  the  houses  and  people,  as  we 
passed  along  the  streets.  I  reckoned  our  coach  to  be  about 
a  square  of  Westminster  Hall,  but  not  altogether  so  high; 
however,  I  cannot  be  very  exact.  One  day  the  governess  or- 
dered our  coachman  to  stop  at  several  shops,  where  the  beg- 
gars, watching  their  opportunity,  crowded  to  the  sides  of 
the  coach,  and  gave  me  the  most  horrible  spectacle  that  ever 
a  European  eye  beheld.  There  was  a  woman  with  a  cancer 
in  her  breast,  swelled  to  a  monstrous  size,  full  of  holes,  in  two 
or  three  of  which  I  could  have  easily  crept,  and  covered 
my  whole  body.  There  was  a  fellow  with  a  wen  in  his  neck, 
larger  than  five  wool-packs;  and  another  with  a  couple  of 
wooden  legs,  each  about  twenty  feet  high.  But  the  most 
hateful  sight  of  all  was  the  lice  crawling  on  their  clothes.  I 
could  see  distinctly  the  limbs  of  these  vermin  with  my  naked 
eye,  much  better  than  those  of  a  European  louse  through 
a  microscope,  and  their  snouts  with  which  they  rooted  like 
swine.  They  were  the  first  I  had  ever  beheld,  and  I  should 
have  been  curious  enough  to  dissect  one  of  them,  if  I  had  had 
proper  instruments,  which  I  unluckily  left  behind  me  in  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  163 

ship,  although,  indeed,  the  sight  was  so  nauseous,  that  it 
perfectly  turned  my  stomach. 

Beside  the  large  box  in  which  I  was  usually  carried,  the 
queen  ordered  a  smaller  one  to  be  made  for  me,  of  about 
twelve  feet  square,  and  ten  high,  for  the  convenience  of  trav- 
eling; because  the  other  was  somewhat  too  large  for  Gium- 
dalclitch's  lap,  and  cumbersome  in  the  coach:  it  was  made 
by  the  same  artist,  whom  I  directed  in  the  whole  contrivance. 
This  traveling  closet  was  an  exact  square,  with  a  window  in 
the  middle  of  three  of  the  squares,  and  each  window  was  lat- 
ticed with  iron  wire  on  the  outside,  to  prevent  accidents  in 
long  journeys.  On  the  fourth  side,  which  had  no  window, 
two  stron.sf  staples  w^ere  fixed,  through  which  the  person  that 
carried  me,  when  I  had  a  mind  to  be  on  horseback,  put  a 
leather  belt,  an^  buckled  it  about  his  waist.  This  was  always 
the  ofBce  of  some  grave  trusty  servant,  in  whom  I  could  con- 
fide, whether  I  attended  the  king  and  queen  in  their  prog- 
resses, or  were  disposed  to  see  the  gardens,  or  pay  a  visit  to 
some  great  lady  or  minister  of  state  in  the  court,  when  Glum- 
dalclitch  happened  to  be  out  of  order;  for  I  soon  began  to  be 
known  and  esteemed  among  the  greatest  officers,  I  suppose 
more  upon  account  of  their  majesties'  favor,  than  any  merit 
of  my  own.  In  journeys,  when  I  was  weary  of  the  coach,  a 
servant  on  horseback  would  buckle  on  mxy  box,  and  place  it 
upon  a  cushion  before  him ;  and  there  I  had  a  full  prospect 
of  the  country  on  three  sides  from  my  three  windows.  I  had 
in  this  closet  a  field-bed,  and  a  hammock  hung  from  the  ceil- 
ing, two  chairs  and  a  table,  neatly  screwed  to  the  floor,  to 
prevent  being  tossed  by  the  agitation  of  the  horse  or  the 
coach.  And  having  long  been  used  to  sea  voyages,  those 
motions,  although  sometimes  very  violent,  did  not  much  dis- 
compose me. 

Whenever  I  had  a  mind  to  see  the  town,  it  vv^as  always  in 
my  traveling  closet:  which  Glumdalclitch  held  in  her  lap  in 
a  kind  of  open  sedan,  after  the  fashion  of  the  country,  borne 
by  four  men,  and  attended  by  two  others  in  the  queen's  liv- 
ery. The  people,  who  had  often  heard  of  me,  were  very 
curious  to  crowd  about  the  sedan,  and  the  girl  was  com- 
plaisant enough  to  make  the  bearers  stop,  and  to  take  me 
in  her  hand  that  I  might  be  more  conveniently  seen. 

I  was  very  desirous  to  see  the  chief  temple,  and  particularly 
the  tower  belonging  to  it,  which  is  reckoned  the  highest  in 


164  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  kingdom.  Accordingly,  one  day  my  nurse  carried  me 
thither,  but  I  may  truly  say  I  came  back  disappointed;  for 
the  height  is  not  above  three  thousand  feet,  reckoning  from 
the  ground  to  the  highest  pinnacle  top;  which,  allowing  for 
the  difference  between  the  size  of  those  people  and  us  in  Eu- 
rope, is  no  great  matter  for  admiration,  nor  at  all  equal  in 
proportion  (if  I  rightly  remember)  to  Salisbury  steeple.  But, 
not  to  detract  from  a  nation,  to  which,  during  my  life,  I  shall 
acknowledge  myself  extremely  obliged,  it  must  be  allowed, 
that  whatever  this  famous  tov/er  wants  in  height,  is  amply 
made  up  in  beauty  and  strength;  for  the  walls  are  near  a 
hundred  feet  thick,  built  of  hewn  stone,  whereof  each  is  about 
forty  feet  square,  and  adorned  on  all  sides  with  statues  of 
gods  and  emperors,  cut  in  marble,  larger  than  the  life,  placed 
in  their  several  niches.  I  measured  a  little  finger  which  had 
fallen  down  from  one  of  these  statues,  and  lay  unperceived 
among  some  rubbish,  and  found  it  exactly  four  feet  and  an 
inch  in  length.'"''  Glumdalclitch  wrapped  it  up  in  her  handker- 
chief, and  carried  it  home  in  her  pocket,  to  keep  among 
other  trinkets,  of  which  the  girl  was  very  fond,  as  children  at 
her  age  usually  are. 

The  king's  kitchen  is,  indeed,  a  noble  building,  vaulted  at 
top,  and  about  six  hundred  feet  high.  The  great  oven  is  not 
so  wide  by  ten  paces,  as  the  cupola  at  St.  Paul's  for  I  meas- 
ured the  latter  on  purpose,  after  my  return.  But  if  I  should 
describe  the  kitchen  grate,  the  prodigious  pots  and  kettles, 
the  joints  of  meat  turning  on  the  spits,  with  many  other  par- 
ticulars, perhaps  I  should  be  hardly  believed;  at  least  a  se- 
vere critic  would  be  apt  to  think  I  enlarged  a  little,  as  trav- 
elers are  often  suspected  to  do.  To  avoid  which  censure,  I 
fear  I  have  run  too  much  into  the  other  extreme,  and  that  if 
this  treatise  should  happen  to  be  translated  into  the  lan- 
guage of  Brobdingnag  (which  is  the  general  name  of  that 
kingdom),  and  transmitted  thither,  the  king  and  his  people 

*  Had  Swift  seen  the  colossal  statuary  of  ancient  Egypt,  he  would 
have  found  that  it  rivalled  the  imaginary  sculpture  of  Brobdingnag. 
Belzoni  has  given  the  exact  dimensions  of  the  four  stupendous  figures 
which  are  seated  side  by  side  in  front  of  the  excavated  temple  of 
Ipsambul;  each  of  them,  though  seated,  measures  sixty-four  feet 
from  the  ground  to  the  top  of  tne  cap;  the  arm  from  the  shoulder  to 
the  elbow  measures  fifteen  feet  and  a  half,  the  ear  three  feet  and  a 
half,  and  the  chest,  across  the  shoulders,  twenty-five  feet  four  inches. 
Yet  the  great  Sphinx  is  half  as  large  again  as  these.  Among  the 
Egyptian  antiquities  there  is  a  colossal  fist,  probably  belonging  to  a 
sphinx:  were  the  hand  opened,  the  fingers  would  be  nearly  of  the 
size  of  that  which  Glumdalclitch  is  said  to  have  picked  up. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  165 

would  have  reason  to  complain  that  I  had  done  them  an 
injury  by  a  false  and  diminutive  representation.* 

His  majesty  seldom  keeps  above  six  hundred  horses  in  his 
stables;  they  are  generally  from  fifty-four  to  sixty  feet  high. 
But  when  he  goes  abroad  on  solemn  days,  he  is  attended,  for 
state,  by  a  militia  guard  of  five  hundred  horse,  which,  indeed, 
I  thought  was  the  most  splendid  sight  that  could  be  ever 
beheld,  till  I  saw  part  of  his  army  in  battalia,  whereof  I  shall 
find  another  occasion  to  speak. 


CHAPTER  V. 

SEVERAL  ADVENTURES  THAT  HAPPENED  TO  THE  AUTHOR 
—THE  EXECUTION  OF  A  CRIMINAL— THE  AUTHOR  SHOYv'S 
HIS  SKILL  IN  .NAVIGATION. 

Justly  may  I  say,  that  I  should  have  lived  happy  enough 
in  the  country,  if  my  littleness  had  not  exposed  me  to  several 
ridiculous  and  troublesome  accidents;  some  of  which  I  shall 
venture  to  relate.  Glumdalclitch  often  carried  me  into  the 
gardens  of  the  court  in  my  smaller  box,  and  would  sometimes 
take  me  out  of  it,  and  hold  me  in  her  hand,  or  set  me  down  to 
v/alk.  I  remember,  before  the  dw^arf  left  the  queen,  he  fol- 
lowed us  one  day  into  those  gardens,  and  my  nurse  having 
set  me  down,  he  and  I  being  close  together,  near  some  dwarf 
apple-trees,  I  must  need  show  my  wit,  by  a  silly  allusion 
between  him  and  the  trees,  which  happens  to  hold  in  their 
language  as  it  does  in  ours.  Whereupon,  the  malicious 
rogue,  watching  his  opportunity,  when  I  was  w^alking  under 
one  of  them,  shook  it  directly  over  my  head,  by  which  a 
dozen  apples,  each  of  them  near  as  large  as  a  Bristol  barrel, 
came  tumbling  about  mv  ears;  one  of  them  hit  me  on  the 
back  as  I  chanced  to  stoop,  and  knocked  me  down  flat  on  my 
face;  but  I  received  no  other  hurt,  and  the  dwarf  was  par- 
doned at  my  desire,  because  I  had  given  the  provocation. 

*  Lord  Orrery  has  directed  attention  to  the  air  of  probability 
which  Swift's  minute  attention  to  proportions  and  his  reference  to 
familiar  objects  as  a  standard,  give  to  his  account  of  Lilliput.  The 
same  tact  is  not  less  observable  in  the  account  of  Brobdingnag,  and 
particularly  in  the  comparison  of  the  royal  kitchen  with  the  cupola 
of  St.  Paul's;  perhaps  also  Swift  intending-  to  hint  that  St.  Paul's, 
however  splendid  as  an  edifice,  does  not,  like  the  Gothic  cathedrals, 
immediately  suggest  that  it  was  erected  for  religious  purposes. 


166  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Another  day,  Glumdalclitch  left  me  on  a  smooth  grass-plot 
to  divert  myself,  while  she  walked  at  some  distance  with  her 
governess.  In  the  meantime,  there  suddenly  fell  such  a  vio- 
lent shower  of  hail,  that  I  was  immediately,  by  the  force  of  it, 
struck  to  the  ground;  and  when  I  was  down,  the  hailstones 
gave  me  such  cruel  bangs  all  over  the  body,  as  if  I  had  been 
pelted  with  tennis  balls;  however,  I  made  a  shift  to  creep 
on  all  fours,  and  shelter  myself,  by  lying  fiat  on  my  face,  on 
the  lee-side  of  a  border  of  lemon-thyme;  but  so  bruised 
from  head  to  foot  that  I  could  not  go  abroad  in  ten  days. 
Neither  is  that  at  all  to  be  wondered  at,  because  nature,  in 
that  country,  observing  the  same  proportion  through  all  her 
operations,  a  hailstone  is  near  eighteen  hundred  times  as 
large  as  one  in  Europe;  which  I  can  assert  upon  experience, 
having  been  so  curious*  to  weigh  and  measure  them. 

But  a  more  dangerous  accident  happened  to  me  in  the 
same  garden,  when  my  little  nurse,  believing  she  had  put 
me  in  a  secure  place  (which  I  often  entreated  her  to  do,  that 
I  might  enjoy  my  thoughts),  and  having  left  my  box  at 
home,  to  avoid  the  trouble  of  carrying  it,  went  to  another 
part  of  the  garden  with  her  governess  and  some  ladies  of 
her  acquaintance.  While  she  was  absent,  and  out  of  hearing, 
a  small  white  spaniel  that  belonged  to  one  of  the  chief  gar- 
deners, having  got  by  accident  into  the  garden,  happening 
to  range  near  the  place  where  I  lay :  the  dog  following  the 
scent,  came  directly  up,  and  taking  me  in  his  mouth,  ran 
straight  to  his  master  wagging  his  tail,  and  set  me  gently  on 
the  ground.  By  good  fortune  he  had  been  so  well  taught, 
that  I  was  carried  between  his  teeth  without  the  least  hurt, 
or  even  tearing  my  clothes.  But  the  poor  gardener  who 
knew  me  well,  and  had  a  great  kindness  for  me,  was  in  a  ter- 
rible fright;  he  gently  took  me  up  in  both  his  hands,  and 
asked  me  how  I  did ;  but  I  was  so  amazed  and  out  of  breath, 
that  I  could  not  speak  a  word.  In  a  few  minutes  I  came  to 
myself,  and  he  carried  me  safe  to  my  little  nurse,  who  by  this 
time  had  returned  to  the  place  where  she  had  left  me,  and 
was  in  cruel  agonies  when  I  did  not  appear,  nor  answer  when 
she  called.  She  severely  reprimanded  the  gardener  on  ac- 
count of  his  dog.  But  the  thing  was  hushed  up,  and  never 
knovv^n  at  court,  for  the  girl  was  afraid  of  the  queen's  anger; 

*  The  particle  "as,"  is  here  improperly  omitted;  it  should  be,  so 
curious  "as"  to  weig-h,  etc.— Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  16Y 

and  truly,  as  to  myself,  I  thought  it  would  not  be  for  my 
reputation  that  such  a  story  should  go  about. 

This  accident  absolutely  determined  Glumdalclitch  never 
to  trust  me  abroad  for  the  future  out  of  her  sight.  I  had  been 
long  afraid  of  this  resolution,  and  therefore  concealed  from 
her  some  little  unlucky  adventures,  that  happened  in  those 
times  when  I  was  left  by  myself.  Once  a  kite,  hovering  over 
the  garden,  made  a  stoop  at  me,  and  if  I  had  not  resolutely 
drawn  my  hanger,  and  run  under  a  thick  espalier,  he  would 
have  certainly  carried  me  away  in  his  talons.  Another  time, 
walking  on  the  top  of  a  fresh  molehill,  I  fell  to  my  neck  in  the 
hole,  through  which  that  animal  had  cast  up  the  earth,  and 
coined  some  lie,  not  worth  remembering,  to  excuse  myself 
for  spoiling  my  clothes.  I  likewise  broke  my  right  shin 
against  the  shell  of  a  snail,  which  I  happened  to  stumble 
over,  as  I  was  walking  along  and  thinking  of  poor  England. 

I  cannot  tell  whether  I  were  more  pleased  or  mortified  to 
observe,  in  those  solitary  walks,  that  the  smaller  birds  did 
not  appear  to  be  at  all  afraid  of  me,  but  would  hop  about 
within  a  yard's  distance,  looking  for  worms  and  other  food, 
with  as  much  indifference  and  security  as  if  no  creature  at 
all  were  near  them.  I  remember,  a  thrush  had  the  confidence 
to  snatch  out  of  my  hand,  with  his  bill,  a  piece  of  cake*that 
Glumdalclitch  had  just  given  me  for  my  breakfast.  When  I 
attempted  to  catch  one  of  these  birds,  they  would  boldly  turn 
against  me,  endeavoring  to  peck  my  fingers,  which  I  durst 
not  venture  within  their  reach;  and  then  they  would  hop 
back  unconcerned,  to  hunt  for  worms  or  snails  as  they  did 
before.  But  one  day,  I  took  a  thick*  cudgel,  and  threw  it 
with  all  my  strength  so  luckily,  at  a  linnet,  that  I  knocked 
him  down,  and  seizing  him  by  the  neck  with  both  my  hands, 
ran  with  him  in  triumph  to  my  nurse.  However,  the  bird, 
who  had  only  been  stunned,  recovering  himself,  gave  me  so 
many  boxes  with  his  wings,  on  both  sides  of  my  head  and 
body,  though  I  held  him  at  arm's  length,  and  was  out  of 
reach  of  his  claws,  that  I  was  twenty  times  thinking  to  let 
him  go.  But  I  was  soon  relieved  by  one  of  our  servants,  who 
wrung  Oilf  the  bird's  neck,  and  I  had  him  next  day  for  dinner, 
by  the  queen's  command.  The  linnet,  as  near  as  I  can  re- 
member, seemed  to  be  somewhat  larger  than  an  English 
swan. 

The  maids  of  honor  often  invited  Glumdalclitch  to  their 


168  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

apartments,  and  desired  she  would  bring  me  along  with  her, 
on  purpose  to  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  and  touching  me.* 
They  would  often  strip  me  naked  from  top  to  toe,  and  lay 
me  at  full  length  in  their  bosoms,  wherewith  I  was  much  dis- 
gusted; because,  to  say  the  truth,  a  very  offensive  smell 
came  from  their  skins ;  which  I  do  not  mention  or  intend  to 
the  disadvantages  of  those  excellent  ladies,  for  whom  I  have 
all  manner  of  respect;  but  I  conceive  that  my  sense  was 
more  acute  in  proportion  to  my  littleness,  and  that  those 
illustrious  persons  were  no  more  disagreeable  to  their  lovers, 
or  to  each  other,  than  people  of  the  same  quality  are  with  us 
in  England.  And  after  all,  I  found  their  natural  smell  was 
much  more  supportable  than  wnen  they  used  perfumes,  un- 
der which  I  immediately  swooned  away.  I  cannot  forget,  that 
an  intimate  friend  of  mine  in  Lilliput  took  the  freedom  in  a 
warm  day,  when  I  had  used  a  good  deal  of  exercise,  to  com- 
plain of  a  strong  smell  about  me,  although  I  am  as  little 
faulty  that  way  as  most  of  my  sex ;  but  I  suppose  his  faculty 
of  smelling  was  as  nice  with  regard  to  me,  as  mine  was  to 
that  of  this  people.  Upon  this  point,  I  cannot  forbear  doing 
justice  to  the  queen  my  mistress,  and  Glumdalclitch  my 
nurse,  whose  persons  were  as  sweet  as  those  of  any  lady  in 
England. 

That  which  gave  me  most  uneasiness  among  these  maids 
of  honor  (when  my  nurse  carried  me  to  visit  them)  was,  to 
see  them  use  me  without  any  manner  of  ceremony,  like  a 
creature  who  had  no  sort  of  concupiscence:  for  they  would 
strip  themselves  to  the  skin,  and  put  their  smocks  on  in  my 
presence,  while  I  was  placed  on  their  toilet,  directly  before 
their  naked  bodies,  which  I  am  sure  to  me  was  very  far  from 
being  a  tempting  sight,  or  from  giving  me  any  other  emo- 
tions than  those  of  horror  and  disgust;  their  skins  appeared 
so  coarse  and  uneven,  so  variously  colored,  when  I  saw 
them  near,  with  a  mole  here  and  there  as  broad  as  a  trencher, 
and  hairs  hanging  from  it  thicker  than  packthreads,  to  say 

fnpthing  farther  concerning  the  rest  of  their  persons.  Neither 
*  Swift  attributed  his  disappointment  in  his  hopes  of  obtaining-  a 
bishopric  from  Queen  Anne  to  the  united  influence  of  female  intrigues 
and  the  remonstrances  of  Archbishop  Sharpe.  The  Duchess  of  Som- 
erset is  said  to  have  besouglit  the  Queen  on  her  knees  not  to  grant 
him  promotion  in  revenge  for  a  bitter  lampoon,  in  which  the  charac- 
ter of  the  duchess  was  very  roughly  handled.  Coarse  as  Is  the 
description  here  given  of  the  maids  of  honor  in  the  court  of  Brob- 
dingnag,  there  is  reason  to  believe  that  it  has  been  much  softened 
down  from  the  original  sketch. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  Hid 

did  they  at  all  scruple,  while  I  was  by,  to  discharge  what  they 
had  drank,  to  the  quantity  of  at  least  two  hogsheads,  in  a 
vessel  that  held  above  three  tons.  The  handsomest  among 
these  maids  of  honor,  a  pleasant  frolicsome  girl  of  sixteen, 
would  sometimes  set  me  astride  upon  one  of  her  nipples,  with 
many  other  tricks,  wherein  the  reader  will  excuse  me  for  not 
being  over  particular.  But  I  was  so  much  displeased,  that  I 
entreated  Glumdalclitch  to  conceive  some  excuse  for  not  see- 
ing that  young  lady  any  more. 

One  day,  a  young  gentleman,  who  w^as  nephew  to  my 
nurse's  governess,  came  and  pressed  them  both  to  see  an 
execution.  It  was  of  a  man,  who  had  murdered  one  of  that; 
gentleman's  intimate  acquaintance.  Glumdalclitch  was  pre- 
vailed on  to  be  of  the  company,  very  much  against  her  in- 
clination, for  she  was  naturally  tender-hearted;  and  as  for 
myself,  although  I  abhorred  such  kind  of  spectacles,  yet  my 
curiosity  tempted  me  to  see  something  that  I  thought  must 
be  extraordinary.  The  malefactor  was  fixed  on  a  chair  upon 
a  scaffold  erected  for  that  purpose,  and  his  head  cut  off  at 
one  blow,  with  a  sword  of  about  forty  feet  long.  The  veins 
and  arteries  spouted  up  such  a  prodigious  quantity  of  blood, 
and  so  high  in  the  air,  that  theyW  d'eau  at  Versailles  was  not 
equal*  for  the  time  it  lasted:  and  the  head,  when  it  fell  on  th(! 
scaffold  floor,  gave  such  a  bounce  as  made  me  start,  although 
I  was  half  an  English  mile  distant. 

The  queen,  who  often  used  to  hear  me  talk  of  my  sea- 
voyages,  and  took  all  occasions  to  divert  me  when  I  was 
m.elancholy,  asked  me  wdiether  I  understood  how  to  handle 
S  sail  or  an  oar,  and  whether  a  little  exercise  of  rowing  might 
not  be  convenient  for  my  health?  I  answered  that  I  under- 
stood both  very  well:  for  although  my  proper  employmeni: 
had  been  to  be  surgeon  or  doctor  to  the  ship  yet  often,  upon 
a  pinch,  I  was  forced  to  work  like  a  common  mariner.  BuH 
I  could  not  see  how  this  could  be  done  in  their  country, 
where  the  smallest  wherry  was  equal  to  a  first-rate  man-of- 
war  among  us;  and  such  a  boat  as  I  could  manage  would 
never  live  in  one  of  their  rivers.  Her  majesty  said,  'Tf  I 
would  contrive  a  boat,  her  own  joiner  should  make  it,  and 
she  would  provide  a  place  for  me  to  sail  in."  The  fellow  was 
an  ingenious  workman,  and  by  my  instructions,  in  ten  days, 
finished  a  pleasure  boat,  with  all  the  tackling,  able  conven- 

*  It  should  be— "was  not  equal  to  it,  etc."— Sheridan, 


170  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

iently  to  hold  eight  Europeans.  When  it  was  finished^  the 
queen  was  so  deHghted  that  she  ran  with  it  in  her  lap  to  the 
king,  who  ordered  it  to  be  put  into  a  cistern  full  of  water, 
with  me  in  it,  by  way  of  trial;  where  I  could  not  manage  my 
two  sculls,  or  little  oars,  for  want  of  room.  But  the  queen 
had  before  contrived  another  project.  She  ordered  the  joiner 
to  make  a  wooden  trough  of  three  hundred  feet  long,  fifty 
broad,  and  eight  deep ;  which  being  w^ell  pitched  to  prevent 
leaking,  was  placed  on  the  floor  along  the  wall,  in  an  outer 
room  of  the  palace.  It  had  a  cock  near  the  bottom  to  let  out 
the  water^  v/hen  it  began  to  grow  stale;  and  two  servants 
could  easily  fill  it  in  half  an  hour.  Here  I  often  used  to  rovv- 
for  my  own  diversion,  as  well  as  that  of  the  queen  and  her 
ladies,  vvho  thought  themselves  well  entertained  with  my 
skill  and  agility.  Som.etimes  I  would  put  up  my  sail  and  then 
my  business  was  only  to  steer,  while  the  ladies  gave  me  a 
gale  with  their  fans:  and  when  they  were  weary,  some  of 
their  pages  would  blow  my  sail  forward  with  their  breath, 
while  I  showed  my  art  by  steering  starboard  or  larboard  as 
I  pleased.  When  I  had  done,  Glumdalclitch  always  carried 
back  my  boat  into  her  closet,  and  hung  it  on  a  nail  to  dry. 

In  this  exercise  I  once  met  an  accident,  which  had  like  to 
have  cost  me  my  life;  for,  one  of  the  pages  having  put  my 
boat  into  the  trough,  the  governess  who  attended  Glumdal- 
clitch very  ofificiously  lifted  me  up,  to  place  rhe  in  the  boat ; 
but  I  happened  to  slip  through  her  fingers,  and  should  infalli- 
bly have  fallen  down  forty  feet,  upon  the  floor,  if,  by  the 
luckiest  chance  in  the  world,  I  had  not  been  stopped  by  a 
corking-pin  that  stuck  in  the  good  gentlewoman's  stom- 
acher; the  head  of  the  pin  passed  between  my  shirt  and  the 
waistband  of  my  breeches,  and  thus  I  was  held  by  the  middle 
in  the  air,  till  Glumdalclitch  ran  to  my  relief. 

Another  time,  one  of  the  servants,  whose  of^ce  it  was  to 
fill  my  trough  every  third  day  with  fresh  water,  was  so  care- 
less* to  let  a  huge  frog  lay  concealed  till  I  was  put  into  my 
boat,  but  then,  seeing  a  resting-place,  climbed  up,  and  made 
it  to  lean  so  much  on  one  side,  that  I  was  forced  to  bal- 
ance it  with  all  my  weight  on  the  other  to  prevent  overturn- 
ing. When  the  frog  was  got  in,  it  hopped  at  once  half  the 
length  of  the  boat,  and  then  over  my  head,  backward  and 
forward,  daubing  my  face  and  clothes  with  its  odious  slime. 

*  Tt  should  be— "was  so  careless  as  to  let."— Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  171 

The  largeness  of  its  features  made  it  appear  the  most  de- 
formed animal  that  can  be  conceived.  However,  I  desired 
Glumdalclitch  to  let  me  deal  with  it  alone.  I  banged  it  a 
good  while  with  one  of  my  sculls,  and  at  last  forced  it  to  leap 
out  of  the  boat. 

But  the  greatest  danger  I  underwent  in  that  kingdom  was 
from  a  monkey,  who  belonged  to  one  of  the  clerks  of  the 
kitchen.  Glumdalclitch  had  locked  me  up  in  her  closet, 
v/hile  she  went  somewhere  upon  business,  or  a  visit.  The 
weather  being  warm,  the  closet  window  was  left  open,  as  well 
as  the  windows  and  door  of  my  bigger  box,  in  which  I  usu- 
ally lived,  because  of  its  largeness  and  conveniency.  As  I 
sat  quietly  meditating  at  my  table,  I  heard  somiething  bounce 
in  at  the  closet-window,  and  skip  about  from  one  side  to  the 
other;  whereat,  although  I  was  much  alarmed,  yet  I  ven- 
tured to  look  out,  but  not  stirring  from  my  seat;  and  then  I 
saw  this  frolicsome  animal  frisking  and  leaping  up  and  down, 
till  at  last  he  came  to  my  box,  which  he  seemed  to  view  with 
great  pleasure  and  curiosity,  peeping  in  the  door  and  every 
window.  I  retreated  to  the  farther  corner  of  my  room,  or 
box;  but  the  monkey,  looking  in  at  every  side,  put  me  into 
such  a  fright,  that  I  wanted  presence  of  mind  to  conceal  my- 
self under  the  bed,  as  I  might  easily  have  done.  After  some 
time  spent  in  peeping,  grinning,  and  chattering,  he  at  last 
espied  me ;  and  reaching  one  of  his  paws  in  at  the  door,  as  a 
cat  does  when  she  plays  with  a  mouse,  although  I  often- 
shifted  place  to  avoid  him,  he  at  length  seized  the  lappet  of 
my  coat  (which  being  made  of  that  country  silk,  was  very 
thick  and  strong),  and  dragged  me  out.  He  took  me  up  in 
his  right  forefoot,  and  held  me  as  a  nurse  does  a  child  she  is 
going  to  suckle,  just  as  I  have  seen  the  same  sort  of  creature 
do  with  a  kitten  in  Europe;  and  when  I  offered  to  struggle, 
he  squeezed  me  so  hard,  that  I  thought  it  m.ore  prudent  to 
submit.  I  have  good  reason  to  believe  that  he  took  me  for  a 
young  one  of  his  own  species,  by  his  often  stroking  my  face 
very  gently  with  his  other  paw.  In  these  diversions  he  was 
interrupted  by  a  noise  at  the  closet  door,  as  if  somebody  were 
opening  it;  whereupon  he  suddenly  leaped  up  to  the  window, 
at  which  he  had  come  in,  and  thence  upon  the  leads  and  gut- 
ters, walking  upon  three  legs,  and  holding  me  in  the  fourth, 
till  he  clambered  up  to  a  roof  that  was  next  to  ours.  I  heard 
Glumidalclitch  give  a  shriek  the  moment  he  was  carrying  me 


112  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

out.  The  poor  girl  was  almost  distracted ;  that  quarter  of  the 
palace  was  all  in  an  uproar;  the  servants  ran  for  ladders;  the 
monkey  was  seen  by  hundreds  in  the  court,  sitting  upon  the 
ridge  of  the  building,  holding  me  like  a  baby  in  one  of  his 
fore-paws,  and  feeding  me  with  the  other,  by  cramming  into 
my  mouth  some  victuals  he  had  squeezed  out  of  the  bag  on 
one  side  of  his  chaps,  and  patting  me  when  I  would  not  eat; 
whereat  many  of  the  rabble  below  could  not  forbear  laugh- 
ing; neither  do  I  think  they  justly  ought  to  be  blam.ed,  for, 
without  question,  the  sight  was  ridiculous  enough  to  every- 
body but  myself.  Some  of  the  people  threw  up  stones,  hop- 
ing to  drive  the  monkey  down;  but  this  was  strictly  forbid- 
den, or  else,  very  probably,  my  brains  had  been  dashed  out. 
The  ladders  were  now  applied,  and  mounted  by  several  men : 
which  the  monkey  observing,  and  finding  himself  almost 
encompassed,  not  being  able  to  make  speed  enough  with 
his  three  legs,  let  me  drop  on  a  ridge  tile,  and  made  his 
escape.  Here  I  sat  for  some  time,  five  hundred  yards  from 
the  ground,  expecting  every  moment  to  be  blown  down  by 
the  wind,  or  to  fall  by  my  own  giddiness,  and  come  tumbling- 
over  and  over  from  the  ridge  to  the  eaves:  but  an  honest 
lad,  one  of  my  nurse's  footmen,  climbed  up,  and  putting 
me  into  his  breeches  pocket,  brought  me  down  safe. 

I  was  almost  choked  with  the  filthy  stuff  the  monkey  had 
crammed  down  my  throat;  but  my  dear  little  nurse  picked 
it  out  of  my  mouth  with  a  small  needle,  and  then  I  fell 
a-vomiting,  which  gave  me  great  relief.  Yet  I  was  so  weak 
and  bruised  in  the  sides  with  the  squeezes  given  me  by  this 
odious  animal,  that  I  was  forced  to  keep  my  bed  a  fortnight. 
The  king,  queen,  and  all  the  court,  sent  every  day  to  inquire 
after  my  health:  and  her  majesty  made  me  several  visits 
during  my  sickness.  The  monkey  w^as  killed,  and  an  order 
made  that  no  such  animal  should  be  kept  about  the  palace. 

When  I  attended  the  king  after  my  recovery,  to  return  him 
thanks  for  his  favors,  he  was  pleased  to  rally  me  a  good  deal 
upon  this  adventure.  He  asked  me,  "what  my  thoughts 
and  speculations  vv^ere  while  I  lay  in  the  monkey's  paw?  how 
I  liked  the  victuals  he  gave  me?  his  manner  of  feeding?  and 
whether  the  fresh  air  on  the  roof  had  sharpened  my  stom- 
ach?'* He  desired  to  knovv^  "what  I  would  have  done  upon 
such  an  occasion  in  my  own  country?"  I  told  his  majesty, 
"that  in  Europe  we  had  no  monkeys  except  such  as  were 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  173 

brought  for  curiosities  from  other  places,  and  so  small  that 
I  could  deal  with  a  dozen  of  them  together,  if  they  presumed 
to  attack  me.  And  as  for  that  monstrous  animal,  with  whom  I 
was  so  lately  engaged  (it  was  indeed  as  large  as  an  elephant), 
if  my  fears  had  suffered  me  to  think  so  far  as  to  make  use  of 
my  hanger  (looking  fiercely,  and  clapping  my  hand  upon  the 
hilt,  as  I  spoke)  when  he  poked  his  paw  into  my  chamber, 
perhaps  I  should  have  given  him  such  a  wound,  as  would 
have  made  him  glad  to  withdraw  it,  with  more  haste  than  he 
put  it  in."  This  I  delivered  in  a  firm  tone,  like  a  person 
who  was  jealous  lest  his  courage  should  be  called  in  question. 
However,  my  speech  produced  nothing  else  besides  a  loud 
laughter,  which  all  the  respect  due  to  his  majesty  from  those 
about  him  could  not  make  them  contain.  This  made  me 
reflect,  how  vain  an  attempt  it  is  for  a  man  to  endeavor  to 
do  himself  honor  among  those  who  are  out  of  all  degree  of 
equality  or  comparison  with  him.  And  yet  I  have  seen  the 
moral  of  my  own  behavior  very  frequently  in  England  since 
my  return;  where  a  little  contemptible  varlet,  without  the 
least  title  to  birth,  person,  wit,  or  common  sense,  shall  pre- 
sume to  look  with  importance,  and  put  himself  upon  a  foot 
with  the  greatest  persons  of  the  kingdom. 

I  was  every  day  furnishing  the  court  with  some  ridiculous 
story;  and  Glumdalclitch,  although  she  loved  me  to  excess, 
yet  was  arch  enough  to  inform  the  queen,  whenever  I  com- 
mitted any  folly  that  she  thought  would  be  diverting  to  her 
majesty.  The  girl,  who  had  been  out  of  order,  was  carried 
by  her  governess  to  take  the  air  about  an  hour's  distance,  or 
thirty  miles  from  town.  They  alighted  out  of  the  coach  near 
a  small  foot-path  in  a  field,  and  Glumdalclitch  setting  down 
my  traveling  box,  I  went  out  of  it  to  walk.  There  was  a 
cow-dung  in  the  path,  and  I  must  need  try  my  activity  by 
attempting  to  leap  over  it.  I  took  a  run,  but  unfortunately 
jumped  short,  and  found  myself  just  in  the  middle,  up  to  my 
knees.  I  waded  through  with  some  difficulty,  and  one  of  the 
footmen  wiped  me  as  clean  as  he  could  with  his  handker- 
chief, for  I  was  filthily  bemired;  and  my  nurse  confined  me 
to  my  box,  till  we  returned  home;  where  the  queen  was 
soon  informed  of  what  had  passed,  and  the  footmen  spread 
it  about  the  court;  so  that  all  the  mirth  for  some  days  was 
at  my  expense. 


174  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

SEVERAL  CONTRIVANCES  OF  THE  AUTHOR  TO  PLEASE  THE 
KING  AND  QUEEN— HE  SHOWS  HIS  SKILL  IN  MUSIC— THE 
KING  INQUIRES  INTO  THE  STATE  OF  ENGLAND,  Yv^HICH 
THE  AUTHOR  RELATES  TO  HIM-THE  KING'S  OBSERVA- 
TIONS THEREON. 

Joined  as  I  was  to  the  court,  I  used  to  attend  the  king's 
levee  once  or  twice  a  week,  and  had  often  seen  him  under 
the  barber's  hand,  which  indeed  was  at  first  very  terrible  to 
behold;  for  the  razor  was  almost  twice  as  long  as  an  ordinary 
scythe.  His  majesty^  accordng  to  the  customs  of  the  coun- 
try, was  only  shaved  twice  a  week.  I  once  prevailed  on  the 
barber  to  give  me  some  of  the  suds  or  lather,  out  of  which  I 
picked  forty  or  fifty  of  the  strongest  stumps  of  hair.  I  then 
took  a  piece  of  fine  wood,  and  cut  it  like  the  back  of  a  comb, 
making  several  holes  in  it  at  equal  distances,  with  as  small  a 
needle  as  I  could  get  from  Glumdalclitch.  I  fixed  in  the 
stumps  so  artificially,  scraping  and  sloping  them  with  my 
knife  towards  the  points,  that  I  made  a  very  tolerable  comb; 
v/hich  was  a  seasonable  supply,  my  own  being  so  much 
broken  in  the  teeth,  that  it  was  almost  useless:  neither  did  I 
know  any  artist  in  that  country  so  nice  and  exact,  as  would 
'vmdertake  to  make  me  another. 

And  this  put  me  in  mind  of  an  amusement,  wherein  I 
spent  many  of  my  leisure  hours.  I  desired  the  queen's 
woman  to  save  for  me  the  combings  of  her  majesty's  hair, 
whereof  in  time  I  got  a  good  quantity;  and  consulting  with 
my  friend  the  cabinet-maker,  who  had  received  general  or- 
ders to  do  little  jobs  for  me,  I  directed  him  to  make  two  chair 
frames,  no  larger  than  those  I  had  in  my  box,  and  to  bore 
little  holes  with  a  fine  awl  round  those  parts  where  I  de- 
signed the  backs  and  seats :  through  these  holes  I  wove  the 
strongest  hairs  I  could  pick  out,  just  after  the  manner  of 
cane  chairs  in  England.  When  they  were  finished,  I  made  a 
present  of  them  to  her  majesty,  who  kept  them  in  her  cabinet, 
and  used  to  show  them  for  curiosities  as  indeed  they  were  the 
wonder  of  every  one  that  beheld  them.  The  queen  would 
have  me  sit  upon  one  of  these  chairs,  but  I  absolutely  re- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  175 

fused  to  obey  her,  protesting  I  would  rather  die  a  thousand 
deaths,  than  place  a  dishonorable  part  of  my  body  on  those 
precious  hairs  that  once  adorned  her  majesty's  head.  Of 
these  hairs  (as  I  had  always  a  mechanical  genius)  I  likewise 
made  a  neat  little  purse,  about  five  feet  long,  widi  her  maj- 
esty's name  deciphered  in  gold  letters,  w^hich  I  gave  to  Glum- 
dalclitch  by  the  queen's  consent.  To  say  the  truth,  it  was 
more  for  show  than  use,  being  not  of  strength  to  bear  the 
weight  of  the  larger  coins,  and  therefore  she  kept  nothing 
in  it  but  some  little  toys  that  girls  are  fond  of. 

The  king,  who  delighted  in  music,  had  frequent  concerts 
at  court,  to  which  I  was  sometimes  carried,  and  set  in  my  box 
on  the  table  to  hear  them ;  but  the  noise  was  so  great  that  I 
could  hardly  distinguish  the  tunes.  I  am  confident  that  all 
the  drums  and  trumpets  of  a  royal  army,  beating  and  sound- 
ing together  just  at  your  ears,  could  not  equal  it.  My  prac- 
tice was  to  have  my  box  removed  from  the  place  where  the 
performers  sat,  as  far  as  I  could,  then  to  shut  the  doors  and 
windows  of  it,  and  draw  the  window  curtains,  after  which  I 
found  their  music  not  disagreeable. 

I  had  learned  in  my  youth  to  play  a  little  upon  the  spinet. 
Glumdalclitch  kept  one  in  her  chamber,  and  a  master  attend- 
ed twice  a  week  to  teach  her:  I  called  it  a  spinet,  because  it 
somewhat  resembled  that  instrument,  and  was  played  upon 
in  the  same  manner.  A  fancy  came  into  my  head  that  I 
would  entertain  the  king  and  queen  with  an  English  tune 
upon  this  instrument.  But  this  appeared  extremely  difificult ; 
for  the  spinet  was  near  sixty  feet  long,  each  key  being  al- 
most a  foot  wide,  so  that  with  my  arms  extended  I  could  not 
reach  to  above  five  keys,  and  to  press  them  down  required 
a  good  smart  stroke  with  my  fist,  which  would  be  too  great 
a  labor  and  to  no  purpose.  The  method  I  contrived  was 
this:  I  prepared  two  round  sticks  about  the  bigness  of  com- 
mon cudgels;  they  were  thicker  at  one  end  than  the  other, 
and  I  covered  the  thicker  ends  with  pieces  of  mouse's  skin, 
that  by  rapping  on  them  I  might  neither  damage  the  tops 
of  the  keys  nor  interrupt  the  sound.  Before  the  spinet  a 
bench  was  placed,  about  four  feet  below  the  keys,  and  I  was 
put  upon  the  bench.  I  ran  sidelong  upon  it,  that  way  and 
this,  as  fast  as  I  could,  banging  the  proper  keys  with  my 
two  sticks,  and  made  a  shift  to  play  a  jig,  to  the  great  satis- 
faction of  both  their  majesties;  but  it  was  the  most  violent 


176  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

exercise  I  ever  underwent;  and  yet  I  could  not  strike  above 
sixteen  keys,  nor,  consequently,  play  the  bass  and  treble  to- 
gether, as  other  artists  do;  which  was  a  great  disadvantage 
to  my  performance. 

The  king,  who,  as  I  before  observed,  was  a  prince  of  excel- 
lent understanding,  would  frequently  order  that  I  should  be 
brought  in  my  box,  and  set  upon  the  table  in  his  closet,  he 
would  then  command  me  to  bring  one  of  my  chairs  out  of  the 
box,  and  sit  down  within  three  yards'  distance,  upon  the  top 
of  the  cabinet,  which  brought  me  almost  to  a  level  with  his 
face.  In  this  manner  I  had  several  conversations  with  him. 
I  one  day  took  the  freedom  to  tell  his  majesty,  ''that  the 
contempt  he  discovered  towards  Europe,  and  the  rest  of  the 
world,  did  not  seem  answerable  to  those  excellent  qualities 
of  mind  that  he  was  master  of;  that  reason  did  not  extend 
itself  with  the  bulk  of  the  body;  on  the  contrary,  we  observed 
in  our  country,  that  the  tallest  persons  were  usually  the 
least  provided  with  it;  that  among  other  animals,  bees  and 
ants  had  the  reputation  of  more  industry,  art,  and  sagacity 
than  many  of  the  larger  kinds;  and  that,  as  inconsiderable 
as  he  took  me  to  be,  I  hoped  I  might  live  to  do  his  majesty 
some  signal  service."  The  king  heard  me  with  attention, 
and  began  to  conceive  a  much  better  opinion  of  m_e  than  he 
had  ever  before.  He  desired  "I  would  give  him  as  exact  an 
account  of  the  government  of  England  as  1  possibly  could ; 
because,  as  fond  as  princes  commonly  are  of  their  own  cus- 
toms (for  so  he  conjectured  of  other  monarchs  by  my  former 
discourse),  he  should  be  glad  to  hear  of  anything  that  might 
deserve  imitation." 

Imagine  with  thyself,  courteous  reader,  how  often  I  then 
wished  for  the  tongue  of  Demosthenes  or  Cicero,  that  might 
have  enabled  me  to  celebrate  the  praise  of  my  own  dear  na- 
tive country,  in  a  style  equal  to  its  merits  and  felicity. 

I  began  my  discourse  by  informing  his  majesty,  that  our 
dominions  consisted  of  two  islands,  which  composed  three 
mighty  kingdoms,  under  one  sovereign,  besides  our  planta- 
tions in  America.  I  dwelt  long  upon  the  fertility  of  our  soil, 
and  the  temperature  of  our  climate.  I  then  spoke  at  large 
upon  the  constitution  of  an  English  Parliament;  partly  made 
of  an  illustrious  body,  called  the  House  of  Peers;  persons  of 
the  noblest  blood,  and  of  the  most  ancient  and  ample  patri- 
monies.   I  described  that  extraordinary  care  alwa3^s  taken  of 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  177 

their  education  in  art  and  arms,  to  qualify  tliem  for  being- 
counsellors  both  to  the  king  and  kingdom;  to  have  a  share  in 
the  legislature;  to  be  members  of  the  highest  court  of  judi- 
cature, whence  there  can  be  no  appeal;  and  to  be  champions 
always  ready  for  the  defense  of  their  prince  and  country,  by 
their  valor,  conduct,  and  fidelity.  That  these  were  the  orna- 
ment and  bulwark  of  the  kingdom,  worthy  followers  of  their 
most  renowned  ancestors,  whose  honor  had  been  the  reward 
of  their  virtue,  from  which  their  posterity  were  never  once 
known  to  degenerate.  To  these  were  joined  several  holy 
persons,  as  part  of  that  assembly,  under  the  title  of  bishops, 
whose  peculiar  business  it  is  to  take  care  of  religion,  and  of 
those  who  instruct  the  people  therein.  These  were  searched 
and  sought  out  through  the  whole  nation,  by  the  prince  and 
his  Vv^isest  counsellors,  among  such  of  the  priesthood  as  were 
most  deservedly  distinguished  by  the  sanctity  of  their  life, 
and  the  depth  of  their  erudition ;  who  were  indeed  th^  .^pirif-- 
u  alfathersjpf  the_rlerp;y  j  n  f\j  h  p^pi^^Spl 

THat  the  other  part  of  the  ParliamentTonsisted  of  an  as- 
sembly, called  the  House  of  Commons,  Vv^ho  were  all  prin- 
cipal gentlemen,  freely  picked  and  culled  out  by  the  people 
themselves,  for  their  great  abilities  and  love  of  their  coun- 

*  The  doctrines  of  passive  obedience  and  non-resistance,  so  strenu- 
ously maintained  by  many  English  divines,  rendered  the  Church  an 
object  of  suspicion  to  the  several  Whig  cabinets,  and  ministerial 
patronage  was  exerted  to  weaken  the  political  influence  of  the  Church 
by  promoting  persons  not  likely  to  maintain  the  claims  of  ecclesias- 
tical pov/er.  Not  only  Swift,  but  many  others,  complained  that  the 
Church  was  betrayed  by  the  State,  and  that  the  secular  power  was 
directly  exerted  to  overthrow  episcopal  authority.  Bishop  Warbur- 
ton  in  one  of  his  letters,  urges  this  complaint  with  his  usual  force, 
vulgarity  and  mannerism;  the  passage  is  also  remarkable  for  a 
Brobdingnagian  image  worthy  of  Swift  himself.  "You  mention 
Noah's  ark.  I  have  really  forgot  what  I  said  of  it.  But  I  suppose  I 
compared  it  to  the  Church,  as  many  a  grave  divine  has  done  before 
me.  The  Rabbins  make  the  giant  Gog  or  Magog  contemporary  with 
Noah,  and  convinced  by  his  preaching;  so  that  he  was  disposed  to  take 
the  benefit  of  the  Ark.  But  here  lay  the  distress;  it  by  no  means 
suited  his  dimensions.  Therefore,  as  he  could  not  enter  in,  he  con- 
tented himself  to  ride  upon  it  astride.  And  though  you  must  sup- 
pose, that  in  that  stormy  weather  he  was  more  than  half  boots  over, 
he  kept  his  seat,  and  dismounted  safely  when  the  ark  landed  on 
Mount  Ararat.  Image  now  to  yourself  this  illustrious  cavalier  mount- 
ed on  his  hackney;  and  see  if  it  does  not  bring  before  you  the  Church 
bestrid  by  some  lumpish  minister  of  state,  who  turns  and  winds  it  at 
his  pleasure.  The  only  difference  is,  that  Gog  believed  the  preacher 
of  righteousness  and  religion." 

The  former  comparison  of  the  Church  to  the  ark,  which  Warbur- 
ton's  correspondent  appears  to  have  noticed,  is  not  less  characteristic. 
"The  church,  like  the  ark  of  Noah,  is  worth  saving;  not  for  tne  sake 
of  the  unclean  beasts  and  vermin  that  almost  filled  it,  and  probably 
made  most  noise  and  clamor  in  it,  but  for  the  little  corner  of  ration- 
ality, that  was  as  much  distressed  by  the  stink  within  as  by  the 
tempest  without."' 
12 


178  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

try,  to  represent  the  wisdom  of  the  whole  nation.  And  that 
these  two  bodies  made  up  the  most  august  assembly  in  Eu- 
rope, to  whom,  in  conjunction  with  the  prince,  the  whole 
legislature  is  committed. 

I  then  descended  to  the  courts  of  justice;  over  which  the 
judges,  those  venerable  sages  and  interpreters  of  the  law, 
presided,  for  determining  the  disputed  rights  and  properties 
of  men,  as  well  as  for  the  punishment  of  vice  and  protection 
of  innocence.  I  mentioned  the  prudent  management  of 
our  treasury;  the  valor  and  achievements  of  our  forces,  by 
sea  and  land.  I  computed  the  number  of  our  people,  by 
reckoning  how  many  millions  there  might  be  of  each  relig- 
ious sect,  or  political  party  among  us.  I  did  not  omit  even 
our  sports  and  pastimes,  or  any  other  particular  which  I 
thought  might  redound  to  the  honor  of  my  country.  And  I 
finished  all  with  a  brief  historical  account  of  affairs  and 
events  in  England  for  about  a  hundred  years  past. 

This  conversation  was  not  ended  under  five  audiences, 
each  of  several  hours;  and  the  king  heard  the  whole  with 
great  attention,  frequently  taking  notes  of  what  I  spoke, 
as  well  as  memorandums  of  what  questions  he  intended  to 
ask  me. 

When  I  had  put  an  end  to  these  long  discourses,  his  maj- 
esty, in  a  sixth  audience,  consulting  his  notes,  proposed 
many  doubts,  queries,  and  objections,  upon  every  article. 
He  asked,  ''what  methods  were  used  to  cultivate  the  minds 
and  bodies  of  our  young  nobility,  and  in  what  kind  of  busi- 
ness they  commonly  spend  the  first  and  teachable  part  of 
their  lives?  What  course  was  taken  to  supply  that  assembly, 
when  any  noble  family  became  extinct?  What  qualifications 
wevQ  necessary  in  those  who  are  to  be  created  new  lords: 
whether  the  humor  of  the  prince,  a  sum  of  money  to  a  court 
lady,  or  a  design  of  strengthening  a  party  opposite  to  the 
public  interest,  ever  happened  to  be  the  motives  in  those  ad- 
vancements?'*' What  share  of  knowledge  these  lords  had  in 
the  laws  of  their  country,  and  how  they  came  by  it,  so  as  to 
enable  them  to  decide  the  properties  of  their  fellow-subjects 

*  A  bill  for  the  limitation  of  the  Peerag-e  was  passed  by  the  House 
of  Lords  in  1719;  but  after  a  long-  debate,  was  rejected  by  an  over- 
whelming majority  of  the  Commons.  On  this  occasion,  the  Tories 
joined  with  that  section  of  the  V^^'higs  which  recognized  Walpole  as  a 
leader.  Swift  unconsciously  has  adopted  a  portion  of  the  reasoning 
of  his  great  enemy. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  179 

in  the  last  resort?  Whether  they  were  always  so  free  from 
avarice,  partialities,  or  want,  that  a  bribe,  or  some  other 
sinister  view,  could  have  no  place  among  them?  Whether 
those  holy  lords  I  spoke  of  were  always  promoted  to  that 
rank  upon  account  of  their  knowledge  in  religious  matters, 
and  the  sanctity  of  their  lives;  had  never  been  compilers 
with  the  times,  while  they  were  common  priests;  or  slavish 
prostitute  chaplains  to  some  nobleman,  whose  opinions  they 
continued  servilely  to  follow,  after  they  were  admitted  into 
thatassembly?"t 

He  then  desired  to  know  "what  arts  were  practiced  in 
electing  those  whom  I  called  commoners;  whether  a  strang- 
er with  a  strong  purse,  might  not  influence  the  vulgar  voters 
to  choose  him  before  their  own  landlord,  or  the  most  con- 
siderable gentleman  in  the  neighborhood?  How  it  came  to 
pass,  that  people  were  so  violently  bent  upon  getting  into 
this  assembly,  which  I  allowed  to  be  a  great  trouble  and  ex- 
pense, often  to  the  ruin  of  their  families,  without  any  salary 

t  Swift  very  frequently  assailed  the  Irish  bench  of  bishops,  assert- 
ing that  they  were  ig-norant  of  the  creed  of  their  own  church;  in  one 
of  these  attacks  on  the  episcopal  body,  he  says,— 

Of  whom  there  are  not  four  at  most 

Who  know  there  is  an  Holy  Ghost; 

And  when  they  boast  they  have  conferr'd  it 

Like  Paul's  Ephesians  never  heard  it; 

And  when  they  gave  it  'tis  well  known, 

They  gave   what   never  was   their   own. 

In  another  political  squib,  we  find  the  following  bitter  lines,— 

Let  prelates  by  their- good  behavior, 
Convince  us  they  believe  a  Savior; 
Nor  sell,  what  they  so  dearly  bought. 
This  country,    now  their  own,   for   nought 

The  Bishop  of  Kilkenny  was  particularly  obnoxious  to  the  Dean, 
and  bears  the  brunt  of  Swift's  fierce  attack  on  the  Irish  bench  for  pro- 
posing to  divide  the  church  livings. 

Old  Latimer,  preaching,  did  fairly  describe 

A  bishop,  who  ruled  all  the  rest  of  his  tribe; 

And  who  is  this  bishop?  and  where  did  he  dwell? 

Why,   truly,   'tis   Satan,   Archbishop   of  Hell; 

And  he  was  a  primate,  and  he  wore  a  mitre. 

Surrounded  with  jewels  of  sulphur  and  nitre. 

How  nearly  this  bishop  our  bishops  resembles! 

But  he  has  the  odds  who  believes  and  who  trembles. 

Could  you  see  his  Grim  Grace,  for  a  poimd  to  a  penny,  ^ 

You'd  swear  it  must  be  the  baboon  of  Kilkenny; 

For  Satan  will  think  the  comparison  odious; 

I  wish  I  could  find  him  out  one  more  commodious. 

But  this  I  am  sure,  the  most  reverend  old  dragon 

Had  got  on  the  bench  m.anv  bishops  suffragan; 

And  all  men  believe  he  resides  there  incog. 

To  give  them  by  turns  an  invisible  jog. 


180  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

or  pension;  because  this  appeared  such  an  exalted  strain  of 
virtue  and  public  spirit,  that  his  majesty  seemed  to  doubt  it 
might  possibly  not  be  alvv^ays  sincere?"*  And  he  desired  to 
know,  "whether  such  zealous  gentlemen  could  have  any 
views  of  refunding  themselves  for  the  charges  and  trouble 
they  were  at,  by  sacrificing  the  public  good  to  the  designs 
of  a  weak  and  vicious  prince,  in  conjunction  with  a  corrupted 
ministry?"  He  multiplied  his  questions,  and  sifted  me  thor- 
oughly upon  every  part  of  this  head,  proposing  numberless 
inquiries  and  objections,  which  I  think  it  not  prudent  or  con- 
venient to  repeat. 

Upon  what  I  said  in  relation  to  our  courts  of  justice  his 
majesty  desired  to  be  satisfied  in  several  points:  and  this  I 
Avas  the  better  able  to  do,  having  been  formerly  almost  ruined 
by  a  long  suit  in  chancery,  which  was  decreed  for  me  with 
costs.  He  asked,  "what  time  V\^as  usually  spent  in  determin- 
ing between  right  and  wrong,  and  what  degree  of  expense? 

*  Considerable  excitement  was  produced  by  Sir  John  Cope  having 
charg-ed  Sir  Francis  Pag-e,  one  of  the  barons  of  the  Exchequer,  with 
endeavoring-  to  corrupt  the  borough  of  Banbury,  in  order  to  secure 
the  return  of  Sir  William  Codrington  at  the  next  election.  The 
charge  was  heard  at  the  bar  of  the  House  of  Commons,  arid  though 
the  ministers  of  the  day  exerted  all  their  influence  to  shield  the  judge, 
he  was  acquitted  by  a  majority  of  four  only,  the  numbers  being  128 
to  124.  A  bill  for  securing-  the  Freedom  of  Elections  was  about  the 
same  time  rejected  by  the  House  of  Lords,  througn  the  influence  of 
the  ministers,  who  had  failed  to  strangle  it  in  the  Commons.  This 
afforded  the  Tories  an  opportunity  of  representing  themselves  as  the 
friends,  and  the  Whigs  as  the  enemies  of  constitutional  liberty,  which 
they  were  too  wise  to  neglect.  During  the  debate  in  the  Commons, 
Mr.  Hutcheson,  member  of  Hastings,  used  the  following  language, 
which  seems  to  have  sug-g-ested  the  king-  of  Brobdingnag's  queries  to 
Swift:  "But  what  in  God's  name  can  all  this  tend  to?  What  other 
construction  can  any  man  in  common  sense  put  upon  all  those  things, 
but  that  there  seems  to  have  been  a  grand  design  of  violence  and 
oppression,  first  to  humble  you,  and  make  your  necks  pliable  to  the 
yoke,  and  then  to  finish  the  work,  by  tempting  the  poverty  and  neces- 
sities of  the  people  to  sell  themselves  into  the  most  abject  and  detest- 
able slavery,  for  that  very  money  which  had  been  either  unneces- 
sarily raised,  or  mercilessly  and  unjustly  plundered  and  torn  from 
their  very  bowels?  And  thus  you  may  be  in  a  fair  way  of  being 
beaten  by  your  own  v^eapons.  Nor  can  I  imagine  what  Inducement 
men  have  who  run  from  borough  to  borough,  and  purchase  their  elec- 
tions at  such  extravagant  rates,  unless  it  be  from  a  strong-  expecta- 
t^'on  of  being  well  paid  for  their  votes,  and  of  receiving  ample  recom- 
pense and  reward  for  the  secret  service  they  have  covenanted  to 
perform  here.*  *  *  It  were  very  much  to  be  wished,  that  gentlemen 
of  estates  and  families  in  the  country  would  heartily  um"te  in  this 
particular,  of  keeping-  the  elections  in  the  several  counties  among 
themselves;  that  they  would  resolve  inviolably  to  support  each 
otfter's  interests  against  the  encroachments  and  corrupt  applications 
of  strangers,  let  them  come  from  what  quarter  they  will.  If  this 
were  done,  it  would,  in  a  great  measure,  put  an  end  to  those  danger- 
ous and  infamous  practices  that  are  now  on  foot,  and  we  m^ght 
hope  once  more  to  see  this  House  filled  with  gentlemen  of  free  and 
independent  fortunes,  such  as  would  be  above  making  their  court  any- 
where at  the  expense  of  their  country,  and  would  despise  all  manner 
of  slavish  concessions  to  men  in  power." 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  181 

Whether  advocates  and  orators  had  Uberty  to  plead  in  causes 
manifestly  known  to  be  unjust,  vexatious,  or  oppressive? 
Whether  party,  in  religion  or  politics,  were  observed  to  be  of 
any  weight  in  the  scales  of  justice?  Whether  those  pleading 
orators  were  persons  educated  in  the  general  knowledge  of 
equity,  or  only  in  provincial,  national,  and  other  local  cus- 
toms? Whether  they  or  their  judges  had  any  part  in  pen- 
ning those  laws,  which  they  assumed  the  liberty  of  interpret- 
ing, and  glossing  upon  at  their  pleasure?  Whether  they  had 
ever,  at  different  times,  pleaded  for  and  against  the  same 
cause,  and  cited  precedents  to  prove  contrary  opinions? 
Whether  they  were  a  rich  or  a  poor  corporation?  Whether 
they  received  any  pecuniary  reward  for  pleading,  or  deliver- 
ing their  opinions?  And  particularly,  whether  they  were  ever 
admitted  as  members  in  the  lower  senate?"* 
♦  He  fell  next  upon  the  management  of  our  treasury;  and 
said,  ''he  thought  my  memory  had  failed  me,  because  I  com- 
puted our  taxes  at  about  five  or  six  milHons  a  year,  and  when 
I  came  to  mention  the  issues,  he  found  they  sometimes 
amounted  to  more  than  double:  for  the  notes  he  had  taken 
were  very  particular  in  this  point,  because  he  hoped,  as  he 
told  me,  that  the  knowledge  of  our  conduct  might  be  useful 
to  him,  and  he  could  not  be  deceived  in  his  calculations. f 

*  In  the  session  of  1720  Sir  William  Thompson,  Solicitor-General, 
charged  Mr.  Lechmere,  Attorney-General,  with  breach  of  his  oath, 
tnast  and  duty,  as  a  privy  councillor,  saying-  that  he  acted  as  counsel, 
and  received  sums  of  money  for  his  advce  in  matters  to  him  referred 
by  the  Privy  Council  as  Attorney-General.  The  cnarge  was  investigated 
by  a  committee  of  the  whole  House;  it  appeared  tha.t  Mr.  Lechmere  had 
taken  nothing  but  his  usual  fees  as  chamber  counsellor,  and  the 
accusation  was  declared  by  the  House  to  be  false,  scandalous,  and 
malicious.  The  lawyers  of  Swift's  day  were  for  the  most  part  Whigs, 
and  strongly  attached  to  the  Protestant  succession;  they  were  on  this 
account  particularly  odious  to  the  Jacobites,  and  when  individual 
satire  failed,  bitter  attacks  were  made  on  the  ent're  legal  profession. 
It  must,  however,  be  added,  that  the  Whig  lawyers  were  too  ready 
to  extend  the  dangerous  principle  of  constructive  treason,  and  far  too 
ardent  in  their  prosecutions  for  libel.  Swift  was  particularly  host-le 
to  lawyers  on  account  of  the  vexatious  prosecutions  undertaken 
against  the  printers  and  publishers  of  the  Drapier's  Letters,  and  he 
never  omits  an  opportunity  of  venting  his  indignation. 

t  The  National  Debt  was  first  incurred  by  the  Whig  administrations 
in  the  reigns  of  William  HI.  and  Queen  Anne,  when  the  ordinary  rev- 
enue was  found  inadequate  to  the  expenses  of  the  great  wars  against 
France.  It  was  a  favorite  topic  of  declamation  with  their  Tory 
opponents,  and  was  not  the  least  efficacious  in  depriving  the  Whigs 
of  their  popularity.  In  1772  the  Tones  proposed  the  following  resolu- 
tion in  the  Lords:  "That  the  lessening  the  public  debt  annually  by  all 
proper  methods  is  necessary  to  the  restoring  and  securing  the  public 
credit."  The  previous  question  was  carried;  upon  v.'hich,  a  spirited 
protest  was  entered  on  the  Journals,  and  copies  of  it  industriously  cir- 
culated through   the  country. 


382  GULLIVER'S  TRAVEL^. 

lUit,  if  v.iiat  I  told  him  were  true,  he  was  still  at  a  loss  how  a 
kingdom  could  run  out  of  its  estate,  like  a  private  person." 
He  asked  me  'Svho  were  our  creditors;  and  where  we  found 
money  to  pay  them?"  He  wondered  to  hear  me  talk  of  such 
chargeable  and  expensive  wars;  "that  certainly  we  must  be 
a  quarrelsome  people,  or  live  among  very  bad  neighbors, 
and  that  our  generals  must  needs  be  richer  than  our  kings." 
He  asked  "what  business  we  had  out  of  our  own  islands, 
unless  upon  the  score  of  trade  or  treaty,  or  to  defend  the 
coasts  with  our  fleet?"  Above  all,  he  was  amazed  to  hear  me 
talk  of  a  mercenary  standing  army,  in  the  midst  of  peace, 
and  among  a  free  people.  He  said,  "if  we  were  governed 
by  our  own  consent,  in  the  persons  of  our  representatives,  he 
could  not  imagine  of  whom  we  w^ere  afraid,  or  against  whom 
Ave  were  to  fight;  and  would  hear  my  opinion,  whether  a 
private  man's  house  might  not  better  be  defended  by  himself^ 
his  children,  and  family,  than  by  half  a  dozen  rascals,  picked 
up  at  a  venture  in  the  streets  for  small  wages,  wdio  might 
get  a  hundred  times  more  by  cutting  their  throats.""^ 

He  laughed  at  my  "odd  kind  of  arithmetic,"  as  he  was 
pleased  to  call  it,  "in  reckoning  the  numbers  of  our  people 
iDy  a  computation  drawn  from  the  several  sects  among  us  in 
religion  and  politics."  He  said  "he  knew  no  reason  v/liy 
those,  who  entertain  opinions  prejudicial  to  the  public, 
should  be  obliged  to  change,  or  should  not  be  obliged  to  con- 
ceal them.  And  as  it  was  tyranny  in  any  government  to  re- 
quire the  first,  so  it  was  w^eakness  not  to  enforce  the  second: 
for  a  man  may  be  allowed  to  keep  poisons  in  his  closet,  but 
not  to  vend  them  about  for  cordials."f 

*  One  of  the  most  memorable  debates  m  the  reign  of  George  I.  was 
on  the  grant  for  maintaining  a  standing  army  of  sixteen  thousanc' 
men.  Mr.  Shippen  and  Mr.  Jeffries  resisted  the  proposal  w^h  great 
energy,  and  the  former  used  such  severity  of  language  that  he  was 
committed  to  the  Tower.  The  Tories,  both  on  this  question  and  on  the 
Debt,  had  a  decided  advantage  in  argument  over  their  adversaries 
especially  as  they  could  appeal  to  a  parliamentary  resolution  in  the 
reign  of  Charles  II.,  which  declared,  "That  the  continuance  of  stand- 
ing forces  in  this  nation,  other  than  the  militia,  is  illegal  and  a  great 
grievance  and  vexation  to  the  people."  Mr.  Shippen,  in  his  speech 
perplexed  the  Whigs  by  referring  to  their  own  recorded  principles' 
"It  is,"  said  he,  "every  year  declared  in  the  Act  of  Mutiny  and  Deser- 
tion,  that  the  keeping  up  of  a  standard  army  in  time  of  peace  is 
against  law;  and  as  the  freeing  us  from  it  was  one  of  the  ends  of 
the  Revolution,  so  no  doubt,  the  preserving  us  forever  from  an 
attempt  of  the  like  nature,  was  one  of  those  innumerable  glorious 
advantages  proposed  by  the  Acts  of  Succession." 

t  It  is  not  easy  to  reconcile  these  intolerant  sentiments  with  the 
opinions  on  toleration  already  noticed  in  the  Voyage  to  Lillipul. 
There  was  at  this  time  reason  to  fear  that  the  Presbyterians  would 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  183 

He  observed,  ''that  among  the  diversions  of  our  nobility 
and  gentry,  I  had  mentioned  gaming;  he  desired  to  know 
at  what  age  this  entertainment  was  usually  taken  up,  and 
when  it  was  laid  down;  how  much  of  their  time  it  em- 
ployed; whether  it  ever  went  so  high  as  to  affect  their  for- 
tunes; whether  mean,  vicious  people,  by  their  dexterity  in 
that  art,  might  not  arrive  at  great  riches,  and  sometimes  keep 
our  very  nobles  in  dependence,  as  well  as  habituate  them  to 
vile  companions;  wholly  take  from  them  the  improvement 
of  their  minds,  and  force  them,  by  the  losses  they  received,:}: 
to  learn  and  practice  that  infamous  dexterity  upon  others?" 

He  was  perfectly  astonished  with  the  historical  account  I 
gave  him  of  our  affairs  during  the  last  century;  protesting  it 
was  only  a  heap  of  conspiracies,  rebellions,  murders,  massa- 
cres, revolutions,  banishments,  the  very  worst  effects  that 
avarice,  faction,  hypocrisy,  perfidiousness,  cruelty,  rage,  mad- 
ness hatred,  envy,  lust,  malice,  and  ambition  could  produce. 

His  majesty,  in  another  audience,  was  at  the  pains  to  re- 
capitulate the  sum  of  all  I  had  spoken;  compared  the 
questions  he  made  with  the  answers  I  had  given ;  then  tak- 
ing me  into  his  hands,  and  stroking  me  gently,  delivered  him- 
self in  these  words,  which  I  shall  never  forget,  nor  the  man- 
ner he  spoke  them  in:  ''My  little  friend  Grildrig,  you  have 
made  a  most  admirable  panegyric  upon  your  country;  you 
have  clearly  proved  that  ignorance,  idleness,  and  vice,  are 
the  proper  ingredients  for  qualifying  a  legislator;  that  laws 
are  best  explained,  interpreted,  and  applied,  by  those  whose 
interest  and  abilities  lie  in  perverting,  confounding,  and  elud- 
ing them.  I  observe  among  you  some  lines  of  an  institution, 
which  in  its  original  might  have  been  tolerable,  but  these  half 
erased,  and  the  rest  wholly  blurred  and  blotted  by  corrup- 
tions. It  does  not  appear,  from  what  you  have  said,  how 
any  one  perfection  is  required  toward  the  procurement  of 
any  one  station  among  you;  much  less  that  men  are  en- 
nobled on  account  of  their  virtue;  that  priests  are  advanced 
by  their  piety  (*r  learning;  soldiers,  for  their  conduct  or 
valor;  judges  for  their  integrity;  senators,  for  the  love  of 

obtain  the  ascendency  in  the  Irish  Parliament,  and  abolish  episco- 
pacy; hence  probably  arises  Swift's  bitterness  against  secretaries, 
which  is  very  strongly  manifested  here,  and  in  his  celebrated  Letter 
on  the  Sacramental  Test. 

J  Receiving  a  loss, "is  certainly  not  a  good  expression;  it  should  be, 
"the  losses  they  have  sustained."— Sheridan. 


184  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

their  country ;  or  counsellors  for  their  wisdom.  As  for  your- 
self," continued  the  king,  ''who  have  spent  the  greatest  part 
of  your  life  in  traveling,  I  am  well  disposed  to  hope  you 
may  hitherto  have  escaped  many  vices  of  your  country.  But 
by  what  I  have  gathered  from  your  own  relation,  and  the  an- 
swers I  have  with  much  pains  wringed"^  and  extorted  from 
you,  I  cannot  but  conclude  the  bulk  of  your  natives  to  be 
the  most  pernicious  race  of  little  odious  vermin  that  nature 
ever  suffered  to  crawl  upon  the  surface  of  the  earth." 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE  AUTHOR'S  LOVE  OF  HIS  COUNTRY— HE  MAKES  A  PRO- 
POSAL OF  MUCH  ADVANTAGE  TO  THE  KING,  WHICH  IS 
REJECTED— THE  KING'S  GREAT  IGNORANCE  IN  POLITICS 
—THE  LEARNING  OF  THAT  COUNTRY  VERY  IMPERFECT 
AND  CONFINED  — THE  LAWS  AND  MILITARY  AFFAIRS, 
AND  PARTIES  IN  THE  STATE. 

Love  of  truth  could  alone  have  hindered  me  from  conceal- 
ing this  part  of  my  story.  It  was  in  vain  to  discover  my  re- 
sentments, which  were  always  turned  into  ridicule;  and  I 
was  forced  to  rest  with  patience,  while  my  noble  and  beloved 
country  was  so  injuriously  treated.  I  am  as  heartily  sorry 
as  any  of  my  readers  can  possibly  be,  that  such  an  occasion 
was  given;  but  this  prince  happened  to  be  so  curious  and 
inquisitive  upon  every  particular,  that  it  could  not  consist 
either  with  gratitude  or  good  manners,  to  refuse  giving  him 
what  satisfaction  I  was  able.  Yet  thus  much  I  may  be  allowed 
to  say  in  my  own  vindication,  that  I  artfully  eluded  many 
of  his  questions,  and  gave  to  every  point  a  more  favorable 
turn,  by  many  degrees,  than  the  strictness  of  truth  would 
allow.  For  I  have  always  borne  that  laudable  partiality  to 
my  own  country,  which  Dionysius  Halicarnassensis,  with  so 
much  justice,  recommends  to  an  historian:  I  would  hide 
the  frailities  and  deformities  of  my  political  mother,  and 
place  her  virtues  and  beauties  in  the  most  advantageous 
light.  This  was  my  sincere  endeavor  in  those  many  dis- 
courses I  had  with  that  monarch,  although  it  unfortunately 
failed  of  success. 

*  Instead  of  "wrlnged,"   it  should  have  been  "wrung-."— Sheridan, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  185 

But  great  allowances  should  be  given  to  a  king  who  lives 
wholly  secluded  from  the  rest  of  the  world,  and  must  there- 
fore be  altogether  unacquainted  with  the  manners  and  cus- 
toms that  most  prevail  in  other  nations ;  the  want  of  which 
knowledge  will  ever  produce  many  prejudices,  and  a  certain 
narrowness  of  thinking,  from  which  we  and  the  politer 
countries  of  Europe,  are  wholly  exempted.  And  it  would  be 
hard  indeed,  if  so  remote  a  prince's  notions  of  virtue  and 
vice  were  to  be  offered  as  a  standard  for  all  mankind. 

To  confirm  what  I  have  now  said,  and  further  to  show  the 
miserable  effects  of  a  confined  education,  I  shall  here  insert 
a  passage,  which  will  hardly  obtain  belief.  In  hopes  to  in- 
gratiate myself  further  into  his  majesty's  favor,  I  told  him 
of  "an  invention,  discovered  between  three  and  four  hundred 
years  ago,  to  make  a  certain  powder,  into  a  heap  of  which. 
the  smallest  spark  of  fire  falling,  would  kindle  the  whole  in 
a  moment,  although  it  were  as  big  as  a  mountain,  and  make 
it  fly  up  in  the  air  together,  with  a  noise  and  agitation  greater 
than  thunder.  That  a  proper  quantity  of  this  powder  rammed 
into  a  hollow  tube  of  brass  or  iron,  according  to  its  bigness, 
would  drive  a  ball  of  iron  or  lead,  with  such  violence  and 
speed,  as  nothing  was  able  to  sustain  its  force.  That  the 
largest  balls  thus  discharged,  would  not  only  destroy  whole 
ranks  of  an  army  at  once,  but  batter  the  strongest  walls  to 
the  ground;  sink  down  ships  with  a  thousand  men  in  each, 
to  the  bottom  of  the  sea;  and  when  linked  together,  by  a 
chain,  would  cut  through  masts  and  rigging,  divide  hundreds 
of  bodies  in  the  middle,  and  lay  all  waste  before  them.  That 
we  often  put  this  powder  into  large  hollow  balls  of  iron, 
and  discharged  them  by  an  engine  into  some  city  we  were 
besieging,  which  would  rip  up  the  pavements,  tear  the  houses 
to  pieces,  burst  and  throw  the  splinters,  on  every  side,  dash- 
ing out  the  brains  of  all  who  came  near.  That  I  knew  the  j 
ingredients  very  well,  which  were  cheap  and  common;  I 
understood  the  manner  of  comipounding  them,  and  could 
direct  his  workmen  how  to  make  those  tubes,  of  a  size  pro- 
portionable to  all  other  things  in  his  majesty's  kingdom, 
and  the  largest  need  not  be  above  a  hundred  feet  long; 
twenty  or  thirty  of  which  tubes,  charged  with  the  proper 
quantity  of  powder  and  balls,  would  batter  down  the  walls 
of  the  strongest  town  in  his  dominions  in  a  few  hours,  or 
destroy  the  whole  metropolis,  if  ever  it  should  pretend  to 


ISa  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

dispute  his  absolute  commands.  This  I  humbly  offered  to  his 
majesty,  as  a  small  tribute  of  acknowledgment,  in  return  of 
so  many  marks  that  I  had  received  of  his  royal  favor  and  pro- 
tection." 

The  king  was  struck  with  horror  at  the  description  I  had 
given  of  these  terrible  engines,  and  the  proposal  I  had  made. 
"He  was  amazed,  how  so  impotent  and  groveling  an  insect 
as  I"  (these  were  his  expressions)  "could  entertain  such  in- 
human ideas,  and  in  so  familiar  a  manner,  and  to  appear 
wholly  unmoved  at  all  the  scenes  of  blood  and  desolation 
which  I  had  painted,  as  the  common  efifects  of  those  destruc- 
tive machines;  whereof,"  he  said,  ''some  evil  genius,  enemy 
to  mankind,  must  have  been  the  first  contriver.  As  for 
himself,  he  protested,  that  although  few  things  delighted 
him  so  much  as  new  discoveries  in  art  or  nature,  yet  he 
would  rather  lose  half  his  kingdom  than  be  privy  to  such  a 
secret;  which  he  commanded  me,  as  I  valued  my  life,  never 
to  mention  any  more."* 

A  strange  effect  of  narrow  principles  and  views!  that  a 
prince  possessed  of  every  quality  which  procures  veneration, 
love  and  esteem;  of  strong  parts,  great  wisdom,  and  pro- 
found learning;  endowed  with  admirable  talents,  and  almost 
adored  by  his  subjects,  should  from  a  nice  unnecessary 
scruple,  whereof  in  Europe  we  can  have  no  conception,  let 
slip  an  opportunity  put  into  his  hands  that  would  have  made 
him  absolute  master  of  the  lives,  the  liberties,  and  the  for- 
tunes of  his  people.f  Neither  do  I  say  this,  with  the  least 
intention  to  detract  from  the  many  virtues  of  that  excellent 
king,  whose  character,  I  am  sensible,  will,  on  this  account, 
be  very  much  lessened  in  the  opinion  of  an  English  reader; 
but  I  take  this  defect  among  them  to  have  risen  from  their 

*  It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  expose  the  fallacious  reasoning-  of  this 
passage;  everybody  knows  that  wars  have  been  far  less  sanguinarj' 
since  th©  invention  of  gunpowder  than  they  were  before,  and  that 
every  improvement  in  the  arts  of  destruction  has  been  followed  by  a 
saving  of  human  life.  Swift,  however,  knew  that  the  g-lories  of  Marl- 
borough's campaigns  were  the  chief  source  of  the  popularity  of  the 
VVh^gs,  and  as  he  could  not  deny  the  military  merits  of  these  victories, 
he  hoped  to  weaken  their  influence  by  declaiming  against  wars  in 
general. 

t  It  was  more  than  hinted  by  the  Tories,  that  the  House  of  Bruns- 
wick intended  to  make  use  of  the  standing  army  to  subvert  British 
liberty.  Mr.  Shippen,  in  the  speech  to  which  allusion  has  been  already 
made,  said,  "That  the  second  paragraph  of  the  King's  speech  seemed 
rather  to  be  calculated  for  the  meridian  of  Germany  than  Great 
Britain;  and  that  the  King  was  a  stranger  to  our  language  anfi 
constitution."  It  was  for  these  expressions  that  he  was  comnilttef} 
to  the  Tower, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  IS"^ 

ignorance,  by  not  having  hitherto  reduced  politics  into  a 
science,  as  the  more  acute  wits  of  Europe  have  done.  For, 
I  remember  very  well,  in  a  discourse  one  day  with  the  king, 
when  I  happened  to  say,  ''there  were  several  thousand  books 
among  us  written  upon  the  art  of  government,"  it  gave  him 
(directly  contrary  to  my  intention)  a  very  mean  opinion  of 
our  understandings.  He  professed  both  to  abominate  and 
despise  all  mystery,  refinement,  and  intrigue,  either  in  a 
prince  or  a  minister.  He  could  not  tell  what  I  meant  by  se- 
crets of  state,  where  an  enemy,  or  some  rival  nation,  were  not 
in  the  case.  He  confined  the  knowledge  of  governing  vv^ithin 
very  narrow  bounds,  to  common  sense  and  reason,  to  jus- 
tice and  lenity,  to  the  speedy  determination  of  civil  and  crim- 
inal causes;  with  some  other  obvious  topics,  which  are  not 
worth  considering.  And  he  gave  it  for  his  opinion,  ''that 
whoever  could  make  two  ears  of  corn,  or  two  blades  of 
grass,  to  grow  upon  a  spot  of  ground,  where  only  one  grew 
before,  would  deserve  better  of  mankind,  and  do  more  es- 
sential service  to  his  country  than  the  whole  race  of  politi- 
cians put  together.''^ 

The  learning  of  this  people  is  very  defective;  consisting 
only  in  morality,,  history,  poetry,  and  mathematics,  wherein 
they  must  be  allowed  to  excel.  But  the  last  of  these  is  v^^holly 
applied  to  what  may  be  useful  in  life,  to  the  improvement  of 
agriculture  and  all  mechanical  arts;  so  that  among  us,  it 
would  be  little  esteemed.  And  as  to  ideas,  entities,  abstrac- 
tions, and  transcendentals,  I  could  never  drive  the  least  con- 
ception into  their  heads. 

No  law  of  that  country  must  exceed  in  words  the  number 
of  letters  in  their  alphabet,  v^hich  consists  only  of  two-and- 
twenty.  But  indeed  few  of  them  extend  even  to  that  length. 
They  are  expressed  in  the  most  plain  and  simple  terms, 
wherein  those  people  are  not  mercurial  enough  to  discover 
above  one  interpretation ;  and  to  write  a  comment  upon  any 
law  is  a  capital  crime.  As  to  the  decision  of  civil  causes,  or 
proceedings  against  criminals,  their  precedents  are  so  few, 
that  they  have  little  reason  to  boast  of  any  extraordinary  skill 
in  either. 

They  have  had  the  art  of  printing,  as  well  as  -the  Chinese, 

t  The  Tories  were  always  anxious  to  identify  themselves  with 
the  agricultural  interest,  to  which  Swift  consequently  loses  no  op- 
portunity of  paying  a  compliment. 


I8g  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

time  out  of  mind:  but  their  libraries  are  not  very  large ;  lor 
that  of  the  king,  which  is  reckoned  the  largest,  does  not 
amount  to  above  a  thousand  volumes,  placed  in  a  gallery  of 
twelve  hundred  feet  long,  whence  I  had  liberty  to  borrow 
what  books  I  pleased.  The  queen's  joiner  had  contrived  m 
one  of  Glumdalclitch's  rooms,  a  kind  of  wooden  machme 
five-and-twenty  feet  high,  formed  like  a  standing  ladder; 
the  steps  were  each  fifty  feet  long;  it  was  indeed  a  movable 
pair  of  stairs,  the  lowest  end  placed  at  ten  feet  distance  from 
the  wall  of  the  chamber.  The  book  I  had  a  mind  to  read, 
was  put  up  leaning  against  the  wall:  I  first  mounted  to  the 
upper  step  of  the  ladder,  and  turning  my  face  towards  the 
book,  began  at  the  top  of  the  page,  and  so  walking  to  the 
right  or  left  about  eight  or  ten  paces,  according  to  the  length 
of  the  lines,  till  I  had  gotten  a  little  below  the  level  of  mine 
eyes,  and  then  descending  gradually  till  I  came  to  the  bot- 
tom: after  which  I  mounted  again,  and  began  the  other 
page  in  the  same  manner,  and  so  turned  over  the  leaf,  which 
I  could  easily  do  with  both  my  hands,  for  it  was  as  thick  and 
stiff  as  a  pasteboard,  and  in  the  largest  folios  not  above 
eighteen  or  twenty  feet  long. 

Their  style  is  clear,  masculine,  and  smooth,  but  not  florid; 
for  they  avoid  nothing  more  than  muUiplying  unnecessary 
words,  or  using  various  expressions.  I  have  perused  many 
of  their  books,  especially  those^  in  history  and  morality. 
Among  the  rest,  I  was  much  diverted  with  a  little  old  treatise, 
which  always  lay  in  Glumdalclitch's  bedchamber,  and  be- 
longed to  her  governess,  a  grave  elderly  gentlewoman,  who 
dealt  in  writings  of  morality  and  devotion.  The  book 
treats  of  the  weakness  of  human  kind,  and  is  in  little  esteem 
except  among  the  women  and  the  vulgar.  However,  I  Vv^as 
curious  to  see  what  an  author  of  that  country  could  say  upon 
such  a  subject.  This  writer  went  through  all  the  usual  topics 
of  European  moralists,  showing  "how  diminutive,  contempt- 
ible, and  helpless  an  animal  was  man  in  his  own  nature;^  how 
unable  to  defend  himself  from  inclemencies  of  the  air,  or 
the  fury  of  wild  beasts:  how  much  he  was  excelled  by  one 
creature  in  strength,  by  another  in  speed,  by  a  third  in  fore- 
sight, by  a  fourth  in  industry."  He  added,  ''that  nature  was 
degenerated  in  these  latter  declining-  ages  of  the  world,  and 
could  now  produce  only  small  abortive  births,  in  comparison 
of  those  in  ancient  times."    He  said,  "it  was  very  reasonable 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  189 

to  tluJik,  not  only  that  the  species  of  men  were  originally 
much  larger,  but  also  that  there  must  have  been  giants  in 
former  ages ;  which,  as  it  is  asserted  by  history  and  tradition, 
so  it  has  been  confirmed  by  huge  bones  and  skulls,  casually 
dug  up  in  several  parts  of  the  kingdom,  far  exceeding  the 
common  dwindled  race  of  men  in  our  days."  He  argued, 
"that  the  very  laws  of  nature  absolutely  required  we  should 
■nave  been  made,  in  the  beginning,  of  a  size  more  large  and 
^obust,  not  so  liable  to  destruction  from  every  little  accident, 
of  a  tile  falling  from  a  house  or  a  stone  cast  from  the  hand  of 
a  boy,  or  being  drowned  in  a  little  brook."  From  this  way 
of  reasoning,  the  author  drew  several  moral  applications, 
useful  in  the  conduct  of  life,  but  needless  here  to  repeat.  For 
my  own  part,  I  could  not  avoid  reflecting  how  universally 
this  talent  was  spread,  of  drawing  lectures  in  morality,  or 
indeed  rather  matter  of  discontent  and  repining,  from  the 
quarrels  we  raise  with  nature.  And  I  beheve,  upon  a  strict 
inquiry,  those  quarrels  might  be  shown  as  ill-grounded 
among  us  as  they  are  among  that  people. 

As  to  their  military  affairs,  they  boast  that  the  king's  army 
consists  of  a  hundred  and  seventy-six  thousand  foot  and  thir- 
ty-two thousand  horse:  if  that  may  be  called  an  army,  which 
is  made  up  of  tradesmen  in  the  several  cities,  and  farmers  in 
the  country,  whose  commanders  are  only  the  nobility  and 
gentry,  without  pay  or  reward.  They  are  indeed  perfect 
enough  in  their  exercises,  and  under  very  good  discipHne, 
wherein  I  saw  no  great  merit;  for  how  should  it  be  other- 
wise, where  every  farmer  is  under  the  command  of  his  own 
landlord,  and  every  citizen  under  that  of  the  principal  men  o! 
his  own»city,  chosen,  after  the  manner  of  Venice,  by  ballot? 
I  have  often  seen  the  militia  of  Lorbrulgrud  drawn  out  to 
exercise,  in  a  great  field,  near  the  city,  of  twenty  miles 
square.  There  were  in  all  not  above  twxnty-five  thousand 
foot,  and  six  thousand  horse;  but  it  was  impossible  for  me 
to  compute  their  number,  considering  the  space  of  ground 
they  took  up.  A  cavalier  mounted  on  a  large  steed  might 
be  about  ninety  feet  high.  Thave  seen  this  whole  body  of 
horse,  upon  a  word  of  command,  draw  their  swords  at  once 
and  brandish  them  in  the  air.  Imagination  can  figure  noth- 
ing so  grand,  so  surprising,  and  so  astonishing!  it  looked 
as  if  ten  thousand  flashes  of  lightning  were  darting  at  the 
same  time  from  every  quarter  of  the  sky. 


190  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

I  was  curious  to  know  how  this  prince,  to  whose  domin- 
ions there  is  no  access  from  any  other  country,  came  to  think 
of  armies,  or  to  teach  his  people  the  practice  of  mihtary 
discipline.  But  I  was  soon  informed,  both  by  conversation 
and  reading  their  histories;  for,  in  the  course  of  many  ages, 
they  have  been  troubled  with  the  same  disease  to  which  the 
whole  race  of  mankind  is  subject:  the  nobility  often  contend- 
ing for  power,  the  people  for  liberty,  and  the  king  for  abso- 
lute dominion.  All  which,  however,  happily  tempered  by 
the  laws  of  that  kingdom,  have  been  sometimes  violated  by 
each  of  the  three  parties,  and  have  more  than  once  occas- 
ioned civil  wars ;  the  last  whereof  was  happily  put  an  end  to 
by  this  prince's  grandfather,  in  a  general  composition,  and 
the  militia,  then  settled  with  common  consent,  has  been  ever 
since  kept  in  the  strictest  duty. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  KING  AND  QUEEN  MAKE  A  PROGRESS  TO  THE 
FRONTIERS  —  THE  AUTHOR  ATTENDS  THEM  —  THE 
MANNER  IN  WHICH  HE  LEAVES  THE  COUNTRY  VERY 
PARTICULARLY  RELATED— HE  RETURNS  TO  ENGLAND. 

Junctures  of  perilous  circumstances,  from  which  I  had 
already  escaped,  inspired  me  with  a  strong  impulse  that  I 
should  sometime  recover  my  liberty,  though  it  was  impos- 
sible to  conjecture  by  what  means,  or  to  form  any  project 
with  the  least  hope  of  succeeding.  The  ship  in  which  I 
sailed  was  the  first  known  to  be  driven  within  sight  of  that 
coast,  and  the  king  had  given  strict  orders,  "that  if  at  any 
time  another  appeared,  it  should  be  taken  ashore,  and  with 
all  its  crew  and  passengers  brought  in  a  timbril  to  Lorbrul- 
grud."  He  was  strongly  bent  to  get  me  a  woman  of  my  own 
size,  by  whom  I  might  propagate  the  breed:  but  I  think  I 
should  rather  have  died  than  undergone  the  disgrace  of 
leaving  a  posterity  to  be  kept  in  cages,  like  tame  canary 
birds,  and  perhaps,  in  time,  sold  about  the  kingdom,  to 
persons  of  quality,  for  curiosities.  I  was  indeed  treated  with 
much^kindness :  I  was  the  favorite  of  a  great  king  and  queen, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  li)l 

and  the  delight  of  the  whole  court;  but  it  was  upon  such  a 
foot  as  ill  became  the  dignity  of  human-kind.  I  could  never 
forget  these  domestic  pledges  I  had  left  behind  me.  I  want- 
ed to  be  among  people  with  whom  I  could  converse  upon 
even  terms,  and  walk  about  the  streets  and  fields  without 
being  afraid  of  being  trod  to  death  like  a  frog  or  a  young 
puppy.  But  my  deliverance  came  sooner  than  I  expected, 
and  in  a  manner  not  very  common :  the  whole  story  and  cir- 
cumstances of  vvhich  I  shall  faithfully  relate. 

I  had  not  been  two  years  in  the  country:  and  about  the 
beginning  of  the  third,  Glumdalclitch  and  I  attended  the 
king  and  queen,  in  a  progress  to  the  south  coast  of  the  king- 
dom. I  was  carried,  as  usual,  in  my  traveling  box,  which  as  I 
have  before  described,  was  a  very  convenient  closet  of  twelve 
feet  wide.  And  I  had  ordered  a  hammock  to  be  fixed,  by 
silken  ropes,  from  the  four  corners  at  the  top,  to  break  the 
jolts  when  a  servant  carried  me  before  him  on  horseback, 
as  I  sometimes  desired;  and  would  often  sleep  in  my  ham- 
mock while  we  were  upon  the  road.  On  the  roof  of  my 
closet,  not  directly  over  the  middle  of  the  hanmiock,  I  or- 
dered the  joiner  to  cut  a  hole  of  a  foot  square,  to  give  mc 
air  in  hot  weather  as  I  slept;  which  hole  I  shut  at 
pleasure,  with  a  board  that  drew  backward  and  forward 
through  a  groove. 

When  we  came  to  our  journey's  end,  the  king  thought 
proper  to  pass  a  few  days  at  a  palace  he  has  near  Flanfiasnic, 
a  city  within  eighteen  English  miles  of  the  sea-side.  Glum- 
dalclitch and  I  were  much  fatigued:  I  had  gotten  a  small 
cold,  but  the  poor  girl  was  so  ill  as  to  be  confined  to  her 
chamber.  I  longed  to  see  the  ocean,  which  must  be  the  only 
scene  of  my  escape,  if  ever  it  should  happen.  I  pretended  to 
be  worse  than  I  really  was,  and  desired  leave  to  take  the  fresh 
air  of  the  sea,  with  a  page,  whom  I  was  very  fond  of,  and  who 
had  sometimes  been  trusted  with  me.  I  shall  never  forget 
with  what  unwillingness  Glumdalclitch  consented,  nor  the 
strict  charge  she  gave  the  page  to  be  careful  of  me,  bursting 
at  the  same  time  into  a  flood  of  tears,  as  if  she  had  some  fore- 
boding of  what  was  to  happen.  The  boy  took  me  out  in  my 
box,  about  half  an  hour's  walk  from  the  palace,  towards  the 
rocks  on  the  sea-shore.  I  ordered  him  to  set  me  down,  and 
lifting  up  one  of  my  sashes,  cast  many  a  wistful  melancholy 
look  towards  the  sea.    I  found  myself  not  very  well,  and  told 


m  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  page  that  I  had  a  mind  to  take  a  nap  in  my  hammock, 
which  I  hoped  would  do  me  good.  I  got  in,  and  the  boy 
shut  the  window  close  down  to  keep  out  the  cold.  I  soon 
fell  asleep,  and  all  I  can  conjecture  is,  while  I  slept,  the  page, 
thinking  no  danger  could  happen,  went  among  the  rocks 
to  look  for  birds'  eggs,  having  before  observed  him  from  my 
window  searching  about,  and  picking  up  one  or  two  in  the 
clefts.  Be  that  as  it  will,  I  found  myself  suddenly  av/akened 
with  a  violent  pull  upon  the  ring,  which  was  fastened  to  the 
top  of  my  box  for  the  convenience  of  carriage.  I  felt  my  box 
raised  very  high  in  the  air,  and  then  borne  forward  with 
prodigious  speed.  The  first  jolt  had  like  to  have  shaken  me 
out  of  my  hammock,  but  afterwards  the  motion  was  easy 
enough.  I  called  out  several  times  as  loud  as  I  could  raise 
my  voice,  but  all  to  no  purpose.  I  looked  towards  my  win- 
dows, and  could  see  nothing  but  the  clouds  and  sky.  I  heard 
a  noise  over  my  heard,  like  the  clapping  of  wings,  and  then 
began  to  perceive  the  woeful  condition  I  was  in ;  that  some 
eagle  had  got  the  cord  of  my  box  in  his  beak,  with  an  intent 
to  let  it  fall  on  the  rock,  like  a  tortoise  in  a  shell,  and  then 
pick  out  my  body  and  devour  it:  for  the  sagacity  and  smell 
of  this  bird  enabled  him  to  discover  his  quarry  at  a  great  dis- 
tance, though  better  concealed  than  I  could  be  within  a  two- 
inch  board.  In  a  little  time  I  observed  the  noise  and  flutter 
of  wings  to  increase  very  fast,  and  my  box  was  tossed  up  and 
down,  like  a  sign  in  a  windy  day.  I  heard  several  bangs 
or  bufifets,  as  I  thought,  given  to  the  eagle  (for  such  I  am 
certain  it  must  have  been  that  held  the  cord  of  my  box  in  his 
beak),  and  then,  all  of  a  sudden,  felt  myself  falling  perpendic- 
ularly down,  for  above  a  minute,  but  with  such  incredible 
swiftness,  that  I  almost  lost  my  breath.  My  fall  was  stopped 
by  a  terrible  squash,  that  sounded  louder  to  my  ears  than 
the  cataract  of  Niagara;"^'  after  which,  I  was  quite  in  the 
dark  for  another  minute,  and  then  my  box  began  to  rise  so 
high,  that  I  could  see  light  from  the  tops  of  the  windows. 
I  now  perceived  I  was  fallen  into  the  sea.  My  box,  by  the 
weight  of  my  body,  the  goods  that  were  in  it,  and  the  broad 
plates  of  iron  fixed  for  strength  at  four  comers  of  the  top 
and  bottom,  floated  about  five  feet  deep  in  water.    I  did  then, 

*  This  cataract  is  produced  by  the  fall  of  a  conflux  of  water  (formed 
of  the  four  vast  lakes  of  Canada)  from  a  rocky  precipice,  the  per- 
pendicular height  of  which  is  one  hundred  and  thirty-seven  feet;  and 
it  is  said  to  have  been  heard  fifteen  leagues.— Hawkesworth. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  193 

and  do  now  suppose,  that  the  eagle  which  flew  away  with  my 
box  was  pursued  by  two  or  three  others,  and  forced  to  let 
me  drop,  while  he  defended  himself  against  the  rest,  who 
hoped  to  share  in  the  prey.  The  plates  of  iron  fastened  at  the 
bottom  of  the  box  (for  those  were  the  strongest)  preserved 
the  balance  while  it  fell,  and  hindered  it  from  being  broken 
on  the  surface  of  the  water.  Every  joint  of  it  was  well 
grooved;  and  the  door  did  not  move  on  hinges,  but  up  and 
down  like  a  sash,  which  kept  my  closet  so  tight  that  very 
little  water  came  in.  I  got  with  much  difficulty  out  of  my 
hammock,  having  first  ventured  to  draw  back  the  slip-board 
on  the  roof  already  mentioned,  contrived  on  purpose  to  let 
in  air,  for  want  of  which  I  found  myself  almost  stifled. 

How  often  did  I  then  wish  myself  with  my  dear  Glumdal- 
clitch,  from  w4iom  one  single  hour  had  so  far  divided  me! 
And  I  may  say  with  truth,  that  in  the  midst  of  my  own  mis- 
fortunes I  could  not  forbear  lamenting  my  poor  nurse,  the 
grief  she  would  suffer  for  my  loss,  the  displeasure  of  the 
queen,  and  the  ruin  of  her  fortune.  Perhaps  many  travelers 
have  not  been  under  greater  difficulties  and  distress  than  I 
was  at  this  juncture,  expecting  every  moment  to  see  my  box 
dashed  to  pieces,  or  at  least  overset  by  the  first  violent  blast 
or  rising  wave.  A  breach  in  one  single  pane  of  glass  would 
have  been  immediate  death:  nor  could  anything  have  pre- 
served the  windows,  but  the  strong  lattice  wires  placed  on 
the  outside,  against  accidents  in  traveling.  I  saw  the  water 
ooze  in  at  several  crannies,  although  the  leaks  were  not  con- 
siderable, and  I  endeavored  to  stop  them  as  w^ell  as  I  could. 
I  was  not  able  to  lift  up  the  roof  of  my  closet,  which  other- 
wise I  certainly  should  have  done,  and  sat  on  the  top  of  it: 
v/here  I  might  at  least  preserve  myself  some  hours  longer, 
than  by  being  shut  up  (as  I  may  call  it)  in  the  hold.  Or  if  I 
escaped  these  dangers  for  a  day  or  two,  what  could  I  expect, 
but  a  miserable  death  of  cold  and  hunger?  I  was  for  four 
hours  under  these  circumstances,  expecting,  and  indeed 
wishing  every  moment  to  be  my  last. 

I  have  already  told  the  reader  that  there  were  two  strong 
staples  fixed  upon  that  side  of  my  box  which  had  no  win- 
dow; and  into  which  the  servant  who  used  to  carry  me  on 
horseback,  would  put  a  leather  belt,  and  buckle  it  about  his 
waist.    Being  in  this  disconsolate  state,  I  heard,  or  at  least 

13 


194  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

thought  I  heard^  some  kind  of  a  grating  noise  on  that  side 
of  my  box  where  the  staples  were  fixed;  and  soon  after  1 
began  to  fancy  that  the  box  was  pulled  or  towed  along  the 
sea;  for  I  now  and  then  felt  a  sort  of  tugging,  which  made 
the  waves  rise  near  the  tops  of  my  windows,  leaving  me  al- 
most in  the  dark.  This  gave  me  som^e  faint  hopes  of  relief, 
although  I  was  not  able  to  imagine  how  it  could  be  brought 
about.  I  ventured  to  unscrew  one  of  my  chairs,  which  were 
always  fastened  to  the  floor;  and  having  made  a  hard  shift 
to  screw  it  down  again  directly  under  the  slipping-board  that 
I  had  lately  opened,  I  mounted  on  the  chair,  and  putting  my 
mouth  as  near  as  I  could  to  the  hole,  I  called  for  help  in  a 
loud  voice,  and  in  all  the  languages  I  understood.  I  then  fas- 
tened my  handkerchief  to  a  stick  I  usually  carried,  and 
thrusting  it  up  the  hole,  waved  it  several  times  in  the  air, 
that  if  any  boat  or  ship  were  near,  the  seamen  might  conjec- 
ture some  unhappy  mortal  to  be  shut  up  in  the  box. 

I  found  no  effect  from  all  I  could  do,  but  plainly  perceived 
my  closet  to  be  moved  along;  and  in  the  space  of  an  hour, 
or  better,  that  side  of  the  box  where  the  staples  were,  and 
had  no  windows,  struck  against  something  that  was  hard.  I 
apprehended  it  to  be  a  rock,  and  found  myself  tossed  more 
than  ever.  I  plainly  heard  a  noise  upon  the  cover  of  my 
closet,  like  that  of  a  cable,  and  the  grating  of  it  as  it  passed 
through  the  ring.  I  then  found  m.yself  hoisted  up,  by  de- 
grees, at  least  three  feet  higher  than  I  was  before.  Where- 
upon I  again  thrust  up  my  stick  and  handkerchief,  calling  for 
help  till  I  was  almost  hoarse.  In  return  to  which,  I  heard  a 
great  shout  repeated  three  times,  giving  me  such  transports 
of  joy,  as  are  not  to  be  conceived  but  by  those  who  feel  them. 
T  now  heard  a  trampling  over  my  head,  and  somebody  call- 
ing through  the  hole  in  a  loud  voice,  in  the  English  tongue, 
''If  there  be  anybody  below  let  him  speak."  I  answered, 
"I  was  an  Englishman,  drawn  by  ill  fortune  into  the  greatest 
calamity  that  ever  any  creature  underwent,  and  begged,  by 
all  that  was  moving,  to  be  delivered  out  of  the  dungeon  I 
was  in."  The  voice  replied,  "1  was  safe,  for  my  box  was 
fastened  to  their  ship ;  and  the  carpenter  should  immediately 
come  and  saw  a  hole  in  the  cover,  large  enough  to  pull  me 
out."  I  answered  ''that  was  needless,  and  would  take  up 
too  much  time;  for  there  was  no  more  to  be  done,  but  let 
one  of  the  crew  put  his  finger  into  the  ring,  and  take  the  box 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  195 

out  of  the  sea  into  the  ship,  and  so  into  the  captain's  cabin.""^ 
Some  of  them,  upon  hearing  me  talk  so  wildly,  thought  I 
was  mad;  others  laughed;  for  indeed  it  never  came  into  my 
head,  that  I  was  now  got  among  people  of  my  own  stature 
and  strength.  The  carpenter  came,  and  in  a  few  minutes 
sawed  a  passage  about  four  feet  square,  then  let  down  a 
small  ladder,  upon  which  I  mounted,  and  thence  was  taken 
into  the  ship  in  a  very  weak  condition. 

The  sailors  were  all  amazement,  and  asked  me  a  thousand 
questions,  which  I  had  no  incUnation  to  answer.  I  was 
equally  confounded  at  the  sight  of  so  many  pig;mies.  for  such 
I  took  them  to  be,  after  having  so  long  accustomed  my  eyes 
to  the  monstrous  objects  I  had  left.  But  the  captain,  Mr. 
Thom.as  Wilcox,  an  honest  worthy  Shropshire  man,  observ- 
ing I  was  ready  to  faint,  took  me  into  his  cabin,  gave  me 
a  cordial  to  comfort  me,  and  made  me  turn  in  upon  his  own 
bed,  advising  me  to  take  a  little  rest,  of  which  I  had  great 
need.  Before  I  went  to  sleep,  I  gave  him  to  understand  that 
I  had  some  valuable  furniture  in  my  box,  too  good  to  be  lost: 
a  fine  hammock,  a  handsome  field-bed,  two  chairs,  a  table, 
and  a  cabinet  that  my  closet  was  hung  on  all  sides,  or  rather 
quilted  with  silk  and  cotton;  that  if  he  would  let  one  of  the 
crew  bring  my  closet  into  the  cabin,  I  would  open  it  there 
before  him,  and  show  him  my  goods.  The  captain,  hearing 
me  utter  these  absurdities,  concluded  I  was  raving;  however 
(I  suppose  to  pacify  me),  he  promised  to  give  orders  as  I 
desired,  and  going  upon  deck,  sent  some  of  his  men  down 
mto  my  closet,  whence  (as  I  afterwards  found),  they  drew 
up  all  my  goods,  and  stripped  off  the  quilting;  but  the  chairs, 
cabinet,  and  bedstead,  being  screwed  to  the  floor,  were  much 
damaged  by  the  ignorance  of  the  seamen,  who  tore  them  up 
by  force.  They  then  knocked  off  some  of  the  boards  for 
the  use  of  the  ship,  and  when  they  had  got  all  they  had  a 
mind  for,  let  the  hull  drop  into  the  sea,  which,  by  reason  of 
many  breaches  made  in  the  bottom  and  sides,  sunk  outright. 
And,  indeed,  I  was  glad  not  to  have  been  a  spectator  of  the 

*  There  are  several  little  incidents  which  show  the  author  to  have 
had  a  deep  knowledge  of  human  nature,  and  I  think  tiiis  is  one. 
Although  the  principal  advantages  enumerated  by  Gulliver  in  the 
beginning  of  this  chapter,  of  mingling  again  among  his  countrymen, 
depended  on  their  being  of  the  same  size  with  himself,  yet  this  is 
forgotten  in  his  ardor  to  be  delivered;  and  he  is  afterwards  betrayed 
into  the  same  absurdity,  by  his  zeal  to  preserve  his  furniture.— 
Hawkesworth. 


19G  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

havoc  they  made;  because  I  am  confident  it  would  have  sen- 
sibly touched  me,  by  bringing  former  passages  into  my  mind 
which  I  would  rather  have  forgot. 

I  slept  some  hours,  but  perpetually  disturbed  with  dreams 
of  the  place  I  had  left,  and  the  dangers  I  had  escaped.  How- 
ever, upon  waking,  I  found  myself  much  recovered.  It  was 
now  about  eight  o'clock  at  night,  and  the  captain  ordered 
supper  immediately,  thinking  I  had  already  fasted  too  long. 
He  entertained  me  with  great  kindness,  observing  me  not  to 
look  wildly,  or  talk  inconsistently;  and  when  we  were  left 
alone,  desired  I  would  give  him  a  relation  of  my  travels,  and 
by  what  accident  I  came  to  be  set  adrift  in  that  monstrous 
wooden  chest.  He  said,  "that  about  twelve  o'clock  at  noon, 
as  he  was  looking  through  his  glass,  he  spied  it  at  a  distance, 
and  thought  it  was  a  sail,  which  he  had  a  mind  to  make,  be- 
ing not  much  out  of  his  course,  in  hopes  of  buying  some 
biscuit,  his  own  beginning  to  fall  short.  That  upon  coming 
nearer,  and  finding  his  error,  he  sent  out  his  long-boat,  to 
discover  what  it  was;  that  his  men  came  back  in  fright, 
swearing  they  had  seen  a  swimming  house.  That  he  laughed 
at  their  folly,  and  went  himself  in  the  boat,  ordering  his  men 
to  take  a  strong  cable  along  with  them.  That  the  weather 
being  calm,  he  rowed  round  me  several  times,  observed  my 
windows  and  wire  lattice  that  defended  them.  That  he  dis- 
covered two  staples  upon  one  side,  which  was  all  of  boards, 
without  any  passage  for  light.  He  then  commanded  his  men 
to  row  up  to  that  side,  and  fastening  a  cable  to  one  of  the 
staples,  ordered  them  to  tow  my  chest,  as  they  called  it,  to- 
wards the  ship.  When  it  was  there,  he  gave  directions  to 
fasten  another  cable  to  the  ring  fixed  in  the  cover,  and  to 
raise  up  my  chest  with  pulleys,  which  all  the  sailors  were  not 
able  to  do  above  two  or  three  feet.  He  said,  they  saw  my 
stick  and  handkerchief  thrust  out  of  the  hole,  and  concluded 
that  some  unhappy  man  must  be  shut  up  in  the  cavity."  I 
asked,  "whether  he  or  the  crew  had  seen  any  prodigious 
birds  in  the  air,  about  the  time  he  first  discovered  me?"  To 
which  he  answered,  "that  discoursing  this  matter  with  the 
sailors  while  I  was  asleep,  one  of  them  said,  he  had  observed 
three  eagles  flying  towards  the  north,  but  remarked  nothing 
of  their  being  larger  than  the  usual  size;"  which  I  suppose 
must  be  imputed  to  the  great  height  they  were  at;  and  he 
could  not  guess  the  reason  of  my  question.     I  then  asked 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  19? 

the  captain,  *'how  far  he  reckoned  we  might  be  from  land?" 
He  said,  "by  the  best  computation  he  could  make,  we  were 
at  least  a  hundred  leagues."  I  assured  him  "that  he  must 
be  mistaken  by  almost  half,  for  I  had  not  left  the  country 
whence  I  came,  above  two  hours  before  I  dropped  into  the 
sea."  Whereupon  he  began  again  to  think  my  brain  was 
disturbed,  of  which  he  gave  me  a  hint,  and  advised  me  to  go 
to  bed  in  a  cabin  he  had  provided.  I  assured  him,  "I  was 
well  refreshed  with  my  good  entertainment  and  company, 
and  as  much  in  my  senses  as  ever  I  was  in  my  life."  He 
then  grew  serious,  and  desired  to  ask  me  freely,  "whether  I 
were  not  troubled  in  my  mind  by  the  consciousness  of  some 
enormous  crime,  for  which  I  v/as  punished,  at  the  command 
of  some  prince,  by  exposing  me  in  that  chest;  as  great  crim- 
inals, in  other  countries,  have  been  forced  to  sea  in  a  leaky 
vessel,  without  provisions :  for  although  he  should  be  sorry 
to  have  taken  so  ill  a  man  into  his  ship,  yet  he  would  engage 
his  word  to  set  me  safe  ashore,  in  the  first  port  where  he 
arrived?"  He  added,  "that  his  suspicions  were  much  in- 
creased by  some  absurd  speeches  I  had  delivered  at  first  to 
his  sailors,  and  afterwards  to  himself,  in  relation  to  my  closet 
or  chest,  as  well  as  by  my  odd  looks  and  behavior  while  I  was 
at  supper." 

I  begged  his  patience  to  hear  me  tell  my  story,  which  I 
faithfully  did,  from  the  last  time  I  left  England,  to  the  mo- 
ment he  first  discovered  me.  And  as  truth  always  forces  its 
way  into  rational  minds,  so  this  honest  worthy  gentleman, 
who  had  some  tincture  of  learning,  and  very  good  sense,  was 
immediately  convinced  of  my  candor  and  veracity.  But,  far- 
ther to  confirm  all  I  had  said,  I  entreated  him  to  give  order 
that  my  cabinet  be  brought,  of  which  I  had  the  key  in  my 
pocket;  for  he  had  already  informed  me  how  the  seamen  dis- 
posed of  my  closet.  I  opened  it  in  his  own  presence,  and 
showed  him  the  small  collection  of  rarities  I  made  in  the 
country  from  which  I  had  been  so  strangely  delivered.  There 
was  the  comb  I  had  contrived  out  of  the  stumps  of  the  king's 
beard,  and  another  of  the  same  materials,  but  fixed  into  a 
paring  of  her  majesty's  thumb-nail,  which  sei'ved  for  the 
back.  There  was  a  collection  of  needles  and  pins,  from  a 
foot  to  half  a  yard  long;  four  wasps  stings,  like  joiners' 
tacks;  some  combings  of  the  queen's  hair;  a  gold  ring 
which  one  day  she  made  me  a  present  of,  in  a  most  oblig- 


108  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ing  manner,  taking  it  from  her  little  finger  and  throwing 
it  over  my  head  like  a  collar.  I  desired  the  captain  would 
please  to  accept  this  ring  in  return  of  his  civilities;  which  he 
absolutely  refused.  I  showed  him  a  corn  that  I  had  cut  off, 
with  my  own  hand,  from  a  maid  of  honor's  toe ;  it  was  about 
the  bigness  of  a  Kentish  pippin,  and  grown  so  hard,  that 
when  I  returned  to  England,  I  got  it  hollowed  into  a  cup, 
and  set  in  silver.  Lastly,  I  desired  him  to  see  the  breeehes 
I  had  then  on,  which  were  made  of  a  mouse's  skin. 

I  could  force  nothing  on  him  but  a  footman's  tooth,  which 
I  observed  him  to  examine  with  great  curiosity,  and  found 
he  had  a  fancy  for  it.  He  received  it  with  abundance  of 
thanks,  more  than  such  a  trifle  could  deserve.  It  was 
drawn  by  an  unskillful  surgeon,  in  a  mistake,  from  one  of 
Glumdalclitch's  men,  who  was  afflicted  with  the  toothache, 
but  it  was  as  sound  as  any  in  his  head.  I  got  it  cleaned,  and 
put  it  into  my  cabinet.  It  was  about  a  foot  long,  and  four 
inches  in  diameter. 

The  captain  was  very  well  satisfied  with  this  plain  relation 
I  had  given  him,  and  said,  ''he  hoped,  when  we  returned  to 
England,  I  would  oblige  the  world  by  putting  it  on  paper, 
and  making  it  public."  My  answer  was,  "that  I  thought  we 
were  overstocked  with  books  of  travels ;  that  nothing  could 
now  pass  which  was  not  extraordinary;  wherein,  I  doubted 
some  authors  less  consulted  truth  than  their  own  vanity,  or 
interest,  or  the  diversion  of  ignorant  readers;  that  my 
story  could  contain  little  besides  common  events,  without 
those  ornamental  descriptions  of  strange  plants,  trees,  birds, 
and  other  animals;  or  of  the  barbarous  customs  and  idola- 
try of  savage  people  with  which  most  writers  abound.  How- 
ever, I  thanked  him  for  his  good  opinion,  and  promised  to. 
take  the  matter  into  my  thoughts." 

He  said  "he  wondered  at  one  thing  very  much,  which  was 
to  hear  me  speak  so  loud;  asking  me,  whether  the  king  and 
queen  of  that  country  were  thick  of  hearing?"  I  told  him, 
"it  was  what  I  had  been  used  to  for  above  two  years  past, 
and  that  I  admired  as  much  at  the  voices  of  him  and  his  men, 
who  seemed  to  me  only  to  whisper,  and  yet  I  could  hear 
them  well  enough.  But  when  I  spoke  in  that  country,  it  was 
like  a  man  talking  in  the  streets,  to  another  looking  out  from 
the  top  of  a  steeple,  unless  when  I  was  placed  on  a  table,  or 
held  in  any  person's  hand."     I  told  him,  "I  had  likewise  ob- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  199 

served  another  thing,  that  when  I  first  got  into  the  ship,  and 
the  sailors  stood  all  about  me,  I  thought  they  were  the  most 
contemptible  little  creatures  I  had  ever  beheld."  For,  in- 
deed, while  I  was  in  that  prince's  country,  I  could  never  en- 
dure to  look  in  a  glass  after  mine  eyes  had  been  accustomed 
to  such  prodigious  objects,  because  the  comparisons  gave 
me  so  despicable  a  conceit  of  myself.  The  captain  said, 
''that  while  we  were  at  supper  he  observed  me  to  look  at 
everything  with  a  sort  of  wonder,  and  that  I  often  seemed 
hardly  able  to  contain  my  laughter,  which  he  knew  not  well 
how  to  take,  but  imputed  it  to  some  disorder  in  my  brain." 
I  answered,  *'it  was  true;  and  I  wondered  how  I  could  for- 
bear, when  I  saw  his  dishes  of  the  size  of  a  silver  three-pence, 
a  leg  of  pork  hardly  a  mouthful,  a  cup  not  so  big  as  a  nut- 
shell;" and  so  I  went  on,  describing  the  rest  of  his  household 
stuff  and  provisions,  after  the  same  manner.  For,  although 
the  queen  had  ordered  a  little  equipage  of  all  things  neces- 
sary for  me,  while  I  was  in  her  service,  yet  my  ideas  were 
wholly  taken  up  with  what  I  saw  on  every  side  of  me,  and  I 
winked  at  my  own  littleness  as  people  do  at  their  own  faults. 
The  captain  understood  my  raillery  very  well,  and  merrily 
replied  with  the  old  English  proverb,  that  he  doubted  mine 
eyes  were  bigger  than  my  belly,  for  he  did  not  observe  my 
stomach  so  good,  although  I  had  fasted  all  day;  and  con- 
tinuing in  his  mirth,  protested,  ''he  would  have  gladly  given 
a  hundred  pounds  to  have  seen  my  closet  in  the  eagle's  bill, 
and  afterwards  in  its  fall  from  so  great  a  height  into  the  sea ; 
which  would  certainly  have  been  a  most  astonishing  object, 
worthy  to  have  the  description  of  it  transmitted  to  future 
ages;"  and  the  comparison  of  Phaeton  was  so  obvious,  that 
he  could  not  forbear  applying  it,  although  I  did  not  much 
admire  the  conceit 

The  captain  having  been  at  Tonquin,  was,  in  his  return  to 
England,  driven  north-eastward  to  the  latitude  of  44  degrees, 
and  longitude  of  143.  But  meeting  a  trade-wind  two  days 
after  I  came  on  board  him,  we  sailed  southward  a  long  time, 
and  coasting  New  Holland,  kept  our  course  westrsouth- 
west,  and  then  south-south-west,  till  we  doubled  the  Cape  of 
Good  Hope.  Our  voyage  was  very  prosperous,  but  I  shall 
not  trouble  the  reader  with  a  journal  of  it.  The  captain  call- 
ed in  at  one  or  two  ports,  and  sent  in  his  longboat  for  pro- 
visions and  fresh  water;   but  I  never  went  out  of  the  ship 


200  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

till  we  came  into  the  Downs,  which  was  on  the  third  day  of 
June,  1706,  about  nine  months  after  my  escape.  I  ofifered 
to  leave  my  goods  in  security  for  payment  of  my  freight, 
btit  the  captain  protested  he  would  not  receive  one  farthing. 
We  took  a  kind  leave  of  each  other,  and  I  made  him  promise 
he  would  come  to  see  me  at  my  house  in  Redriff.  I  hired 
a  horse  and  guide  for  five  shillings,  which  I  borrowed  of  the 
captain.* 

As  I  was  on  the  road,  observing  the  littleness  of  the 
houses,  the  trees,  the  cattle,  and  the  people,  I  began  to  think 
myself  in  Lilliput.  I  was  afraid  of  tramping  on  every 
traveler  I  met,  and  often  called  aloud  to  have  them  stand 
cut  of  the  way,  so  that  I  had  like  to  have  gotten  one  or  two 
broken  heads  for  my  impertinence. 

When  I  came  to  my  own  house,  for  which  I  was  forced  to 
inquire,  one  of  my  servants  opening  the  door,  I  bent  down 
to  go  in  (like  a  goose  under  a  gate),  for  fear  of  striking  my 
head.  My  wife  ran  out  to  embrace  me,  but  I  stooped  lower 
than  her  knees,  thinking  she  could  otherwise  never  be  able 
to  reach  my  mouth.  My  daughter  kneeled  to  ask  my  bless- 
ing, but  I  could  not  see  her  till  she  arose,  having  been  so 
long  used  to  stand  with  my  head  and  eyes  erect  to  above 
sixty  feet  and  then  I  went  to  take  her  up  with  one  hand  by 
the  waist.  I  looked  down  upon  the  servants,  and  one  or 
two  friends  who  were  in  the  house,  as  if  they  had  been  pig- 
mies, and  I  a  giant.  I  told  my  wife,  "she  had  been  too 
thrifty,  for  I  found  she  had  starved  herself  and  her  daughter 
to  nothing." 

*  This  exquisitely  simple  incident  will  probably  remind  the  reader 
Of  Campbell's  description  of  Commodore  Byron: 

In  horrid   climes,  where  Chiloe's  tempests  sweep 
Tumultuous  murmurs   o'er   the   troubled   deep, 
'Twas  his  to  mourn  Misfortune's  rudest  shock: 
Scourged  by  the  winds  and  cradled  on  the  rock, 
To  wake  each  joyous  morn  and  search  again 
The  famished  haunts  of  solitary  men. 
Whose  race  unyieldmg  as  their  native  storm, 
Know  not  a  trace  of  nature  but  the  form; 
Yet  at  thy  call  the  hardy  tar  pursued. 
Pale,  but  intrepid,  sad,  but  unsubdued. 
Pierced  the  deep  woods,  and  hailing  from  afar 
The  moon's  pale  planet  and  the  northern  star, 
Paused  9.t  each  dreary  cry  unheard  before, 
Hyenas  in  the  wild,  and  mermaids  on  the  shore; 
Till  led  by  Hope  o'er  many  a  cliff  sublime, 
He  found  a  warmer  world,  a  milder  clime, 
A  home  to  rest,  a  shelter  to  defend, 
Peace  and  repose,  a  Briton  and  a  friend. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  201 

In  short,  I  behaved  myself  so  unaccountably  that  they  were 
all  of  the  captain's  opinion  when  he  first  saw  me,  and  con- 
cluded I  had  lost  my  wits.  This  I  mention  as  an  instance 
of  the  great  power  of  habit  and  prejudice. 

In  a  little  time,  I  and  my  family  and  friends  came  to  a 
right  understanding:  but  my  wife  protested  I  should  never 
go  to  sea  any  more;  although  my  evil  destiny  so  ordered, 
that  she  had  not  power  to  hinder  me,  as  the  reader  may 
know  hereafter.  In  the  meantime,  I  here  conclude  the  Sec- 
ond Part  of  my  unfortunate  Voyages. 


THE  LAMENTATION  OF  GLUMDALCLITCH 

FOR  THE  LOSS  OF  GRILDRIG. 


A   PASTORAL.. 


Soon  as  Glumdalclitch  miss'd  her  pleasing  care, 

She  wept,  she  blubber'd,  and  she  tore  her  hair; 

No  British  miss  sincerer  grief  has  known, 

Her  squirrel  missing,  or  her  sparrow  flown. 

She  furi'd  her  sampler,  and  haul'd  in  her  thread, 

And  stuck  her  needle  into  Grildrig's  bed, 

Then  spread  her  hands,  and  with  a  bounce  let  fall 

Her  baby,  like  the  giant  in  Guildhall. 

In  peals  of  thunder  now  she  roars— and  now 

She  gently  whimpers  like  a  lowing  cow; 

Yet  lovely  in  her  sorrow  still  appears; 

Her  locks  dishevelled,  and  her  floods  of  tears 

Seem  like  the  lofty  barn  of  some  rich  swain, 

When  from  the  thatch  drips  fast  a  shower  of  rain. 

In  vain  she  searched  each  cranny  of  the  house. 
Each  gaping  chink  impervious  to  a  mouse. 
"Was  it  for  this,"  she  cried,   "with  daily  care. 
Within  thy  reach  I  set  the  vinegar? 
And  fiil'd  the  cruet  with  the  acid  tide. 
While  pepper-water-worms   thy  bait  supplied, 
Where  twined  the  silver  eel  around  thy  hook. 
And  all  the  little  monsters  of  the  brook; 
Sure  in  that  lake  he  dropp'd:— my  Grilly's  drown'd!" 
She  dragg'd  the  cruet,  and  no  Grildrig's  found. 

"Vain  is  thy  courage,  Grilly,  vain  thy  boast; 
But  little  creatures  enterprise  the  most. 
Trembling  I've  seen  thee  dare  the  kitten's  paw; 
Nay,  mix  with  children  as  they  play'd  at  taw, 


202  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Nor  fear  the  marbles  as  they  bounding  flew; 
Marbles  to  them,   but  rolling-  rocks  to  you. 

"Why  did  I  trust  thee  with  that  giddy  youth? 
Who  from  a  page  can  ever  learn  the  truth? 
Versed  in  court-tricks,  that  money-loving  boy, 
To  some  lord's  daughter  sold  the  living  toy; 
Or  rent  him  limb  from  limb  in  cruel  play, 
As  children  tear  the  Vv^ings  of  flies  away: 
From  place  to  place  o'er  Brobdingnag  I'll  roam, 
And  never  will  return;  or  bring  thee  home. 
But  who  hath  eyes  to  trace  the  passing  wind?— 
How,  then,  thy  fairy  footsteps  can  I  find? 
Dost  thou,  bewilder'd,  wander  all  alone, 
In  the  green  thicket  of  a  mossy  stone? 
Or  tumbled  from  the  toadstool's  shppery  round 
Perhaps  all  maim'd,  lie  grav'ling  on  the  ground? 
Dost  thou,  embosom'd  in  the  lovely  rose, 
Or  sunk  within  the  peach's  down,  repose? 
Within  the  kingcup,  if  thy  limbs  are  spread. 
Or  in  the  golden  cowslip's  velvet  head. 
Oh  show  me,   Flora,  'midst  those  sweets,   the  flov/er 
Where  sleeps  my  Grildrig  in  the  fragrant  bower! 

"But  ah!  I  fear  thy  little  fancy  roves; 
On  little  females,  and  on  little  loves; 
Thy  pigmy  children,  and  thy  tiny  spouse; 
The  baby  playthings  that  adorn  thy  house- 
Doors,   windows,  chimneys,   and  the  spacious  rooms. 
Equal  in  size  to  cells  of  honeycombs. 
Hast  thou  for  these  now  ventured  from  the  shore, 
Thy  bark  a  bean-shell,  and  a  straw  thine  oar? 
Or  in  thy  box,  now  bounding  on  the  main- 
Shall  I  ne'er  bear  thyself  and  house  again? 
And  shall  I  set  thee  on  my  hand  no  more. 
To  see  thee  leap  the  lines,  and  traverse  o'er 
My  spacious  palm?    Of  stature  scarce  a  span. 
Mimic  the  actions  of  a  real  man? 
No  more  behold  thee  turn  my  Vv^atch's  key. 
As  seamen  at  a  capstan  anchors  weigh! 

"How  wert  thou  wont  to  walk  v/ith  cautious  tread, 
A  dish  of  tea,  like  milk-pale,  on  thy  head? 
How  chase  the  mite  that  bore  thy  cheese  away, 
And  keep  the  rolling  maggot  at  a  bay!" 

She  spoke,  but  broken  accents  stopp'd  her  voice. 
Soft  as  the  speaking-trumpet's  mellow  noise; 
She  sobb'd  a  storm,  and  wiped  her  flowing  eyes. 
Which  seem'd  like  two  broad  suns  in  misty  skies: 
O  squander  not  thy  grief,— those  tears  command. 
To  weep  upon  our  cod  in  Newfoundland; 
The  plenteous  pickle  shall  preserve  the  fish. 
And  Europe  taste  like  sorrows  in  her  dish. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  203 


A  VOYAGE  TO 

LAPUTA,  BALNIBARBI,   LUGGNAGG,    GLUB- 

BDUBDRIB  AND  JAPAN.^ 


CHAPTER  I. 


THE  AUTHOR  SETS  OUT  ON  HIS  THIRD  VOYAGE— IS  TAKEN 
BY  PIRATES  — THE  MALICE  OF  A  DUTCHMAN  —  HIS  AR- 
RIVAL AT  AN  ISLAND— HE  IS  RECEIVED  IN  LAPUTA. 

I  had  not  been  at  home  above  ten  days,  when  Captain 
Wilham  Robinson,  a  Cornishman,  commander  of  the  Hope- 
well, a  stout  ship  of  three  hundred  tons,  came  to  my  house. 
I  had  formerly  been  surgeon  of  another  ship,  where  he  was 
master  and  fourth  part  owner,  in  a  voyage  to  the  Lavant. 
He  had  always  treated  me  more  like  a  brother  than  any  in- 
ferior officer;  and  hearing  of  my  arrival,  made  me  a  visit, 
as  I  apprehended  only  out  of  friendship,  for  nothing  passed 
more  than  what  is  usual  after  long  absences.  But  repeating 
his  visits  often,  expressing  his  joy  to  find  me  in  good  health, 
asking,  ''whether  I  was  not  settled  for  life?"  adding  "that  he 
intended  a  voyage  to  the  East  Indies  in  about  two  months," 
at  last  he  plainly  invited  me,  though  with  many  apologies, 
to  be  surgeon  of  the  ship ;  "that  I  should  have  another  sur- 
geon under  me,  beside  our  two  mates ;  that  my  salary  should 
be  doubled  to  the  usual  pay;  and  that  having  experienced 
my  knowledge  in  sea  afTairs  to  be  at  least  equal  to  his,  he 
would  enter  into  any  engagement  to  follow  my  advice,  as 
much  as  if  I  had  shared  in  the  command." 

*  Dean  Swift  seems  to  have  borrowed  several  hints  in  his  Voyage  to 
Laputa,from  a  novel  written  by  the  learned  Dr.  Francis  Godwin, Bi^shop 
of  Llandaft,  called  "The  man  in  the  Moon,  or  a  Discourse  of  a  Voyage 
thither,  by  Domingo  Gonsales,  1638,"  8vo.  This  philosophic  romance, 
which  has  been  several  times  printed,  shows  that  Bishop  Godwin 
had  a  creative  genius.  His  "Nuncius  Inanimatus,"  which  contains 
instructions  to  convey  secret  intelligence,  is  very  scarce.  He  died  in 
April,  1633.  This  romance  is  published  in  the  eighth  volume  of  the 
Harleian  Miscellanies,  and  is  a  very  ingenious  fiction,  but  it  does  not 
bear  the  slightest  resemblance  to  the  Voyage  to  Laputa. 


204  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

He  said  so  many  other  obliging  things,  and  I  knew  him 
to  be  so  honest  a  man,  that  I  could  not  reject  his  proposal; 
the  thirst  I  had  of  seeing  the  world,  notwithstanding  my 
past  misfortunes,  continuing  as  violent  as  ever.  The  only 
difficulty  that  remained,  was  to  persuade  my  wife,  whose 
consent,  however,  I  at  last  obtained,  by  the  prospect  of  ad- 
vantage she  proposed  to  her  children. 

We  set  out  on  the  5th  day  of  August,  1706,  and  arrived  at 
Fort  St.  George*  the  nth  of  April,  1707.  We  stayed  there 
three  weeks  to  refresh  our  crew,  many  of  whom  were  sick. 
From  thence  we  went  to  Tonquin,  where  the  captain  re- 
solved to  continue  some  time,  because  many  of  the  goods  he 
intended  to  buy  were  not  ready,  nor  could  he  expect  to  be 
dispatched  in  several  months.  Therefore,  in  hopes  to  defray 
some  of  the  charges  he  must  be  at,  he  bought  a  sloop,  load- 
ed with  several  sorts  of  goods,  wherewuth  the  Tonquinese 
usually  trade  to  the  neighboring  islands,  and  putting  four- 
teen men  on  board,  whereof  three  were  of  the  country,  he 
appointed  me  master  of  the  sloop,  and  gave  me  power  to 
traffic,  while  he  transacted  his  affairs  at  Tonquine. 

We  had  not  sailed  above  three  days,  when  a  great  storm 
arising,  we  v/ere  driven  five  days  to  the  north-north-east, 
and  then  to  the  east:  after  which  we  had  fair  weather,  but 
still  with  a  pretty  strong  gale  from  the  west.  Upon  the 
tenth  day  we  were  chased  by  two  pirates,  who  soon  over- 
took us ;  for  my  sloop  was  so  deep  laden,  that  she  sailed  very 
slow,  neither  were  we  in  a  condition  to  defend  ourselves. 
We  were  boarded  about  the  same  time  by  both  the  pirates, 
who  entered  furiously  at  the  head  of  their  men ;  but  finding 
us  all  prostrate  upon  our  faces  (for  so  I  gave  order),  they 
pinioned  us  with  strong  ropes,  and  setting  a  guard  upon  us, 
went  to  search  the  sloop. 

I  observed  among  them  a  Dutchman,  who  seemed  to  be 
of  some  authority,  though  he  was  not  commander  of  either 
ship.  He  knew  us  by  our  countenances  to  be  Englishmen, 
and  jabbering  to  us  in  our  own  language,  swore  we  would 
be  tied  back  to  back  and  thrown  into  the  sea.  I  spoke  Dutch 
tolerably  well ;  I  told  him  whom  we  were,  and  begged  him, 
in  consideration  of  our  being  Christians  and  Protestants,  of 
neighboring  countries  in  strict  alliance,  that  he  would  move 
the  captains  to  take  some  pity  on  us.    This  inflamed  his 

•'  Now  Madras. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  205 

rage;  he  repeated  the  threatenings,  and  turning  to  his  com- 
panions, spoke  with  great  vehemence  in  the  Japanese  lan- 
guage, as  I  suppose,  often  using  the  word  Christianos. 

The  largest  of  the  two  pirate  ships  was  commxanded  by  a 
Japanese  captain  who  spoke  a  little  Dutch,  but  very  im- 
perfectl}^  He  came  up  to  me,  and  after  several  questions, 
which  I  answered  in  great  humility,  said,  ''we  should  not 
die."  I  made  the  captain  a  very  low  bow,  and  then  turning 
to  the  Dutchman,  said,  'T  was  sorry  to  find  more  mercy  in  a 
Heathen  than  in  a  brother  Christian."  But  I  had  soon  rea- 
son to  repent  the  foolish  words;  for  that  malicious  repro- 
bate, having  often  endeavored  in  vain  to  persuade  both  the 
captains  that  I  might  be  thrown  into  the  sea  (which  they 
would  not  yield  to,  after  the  promise  m.ade  m.e  that  I  should 
not  die),  however,  prevailed  so  far  as  to  have  a  punishment 
inflicted  on  me,  worse,  in  all  human  appearance,  than  death 
itself.  My  men  were  sent  by  an  equal  division  into  both  the 
pirate  ships,  and  my  sloop  new  manned.  As  to  myself,  it 
was  determined  that  I  should  be  set  adrift  in  a  small  canoe, 
with  paddles  and  a  sail,  and  four  days'  provisions;  which 
last,  the  Japanese  captain  was  so  kind  as  to  double  out  of 
his  own  stores,  and  would  permit  no  man  to  search  me. 
I  got  down  into  the  canoe,  while  the  Dutchman,  standing 
upon  the  deck,  loaded  me  with  all  the  curses  and  injurious 
terms  his  language  could  afford. 

About  an  hour  before  we  saw  the  pirates,  I  had  taken  an 
observation,  and  found  we  were  in  the  latitude  of  46  N. 
and  longitude  of  183.  When  I  was  at  some  distance  from 
the  pirates,  I  discovered  by  my  pocket-glass,  several  is- 
lands to  the  southeast.  I  set  up  my  sail,  the  wand  being  fair, 
with  a  design  to  reach  the  nearest  of  those  islands,  which 
I  made  a  shift  to  do,  in  about  three  hours.  It  was  all 
rocky:  however,  I  got  many  birds'  eggs;  and  striking  fire, 
I  kindled  some  heath  and  dry  seaweed,  by  which  I  roasted 
my  eggs.  I  ate  no  other  supper,  being  resolved  to  spare 
my  provisions  as  much  as  I  could.  I  passed  the  night 
under  the  shelter  of  a  rock,  strewmg  some  heath  under  me, 
and  slept  pretty  well.  The  next  day  I  sailed  to  another 
island,  and  thence  to  a  third  and  fourth,  sometimes  using 
my  sail,  and  sometimes  my  paddles.  But  not  to  trouble 
the  reader  with  a  particular  account  of  my  distresses,  let 


206  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ic  suffice,  that  on  the  fifth  clay  I  arrived  at  the  last  island 
in  my  sight,  which  lay  south-southeast  to  the  former. 

This  island  was  at  a  greater  distance  than  I  expected, 
and  I  did  not  reach  it  in  less  than  five  hours.  I  encom- 
passed it  almost  round,  before  I  could  find  a  convenient 
place  to  land  in;  which  was  a  small  creek,  about  three 
times  the  wideness  of  my  canoe.  I  found  the  island  to  be 
all  rocky,  only  a  little  intermingled  with  tufts  of  grass,  and 
sweet-smelling  herbs.  I  took  out  my  small  provisions, 
and  after  having  refreshed  myself,  I  secured  the  remainder 
in  a  cave,  whereof  there  were  great  numbers;  I  gathered 
plenty  of  eggs  upon  the  rocks,  and  got  a  quantity  of  dry 
seaweed  and  parched  grass,  which  I  designed  to  kindle 
the  next  day,  and  roast  my  eggs  as  well  as  I  could  for  I  had 
about  me  my  flint,  steel,  match,  and  burning-glass.  I  lay 
all  night  in  the  cave  where  I  had  lodged  my  provisions. 
My  bed  was  the  same  dry  grass  and  seaweed  which  I  in- 
tended for  fuel.  I  slept  very  little,  for  the  disquiets  of  my 
mind  prevailed  over  my  weariness,  and  kept  me  awake. 
I  considered  how  impossible  it  was  to  preserve  my  life  in 
so  desolate  a  place,  and  how  miserable  my  end  must  be: 
yet  found  myself  so  listless  and  desponding,  that  I  had  not 
the  heart  to  rise;  and  before  I  could  get  spirits  enough 
to  creep  out  of  my  cave,  the  day  was  far  advanced.  I 
vv^alked  awhile  among  the  rocks;  the  sky  was  perfectly 
clear,  and  the  sun  so  hot,  that  I  was  forced  to  turn  my 
face  from  it;  when  all  on  a  sudden  it  became  obscure,  as  I 
thought,  in  a  manner  very  different  from  what  happens  by 
the  interposition  of  a  cloud.  I  turned  back,  and  perceived 
a  vast  opaque  body  between  me  and  the  sun,  moving  for- 
wards towards  the  island;  it  seemed  to  be  about  two  miles 
high,  and  hid  the  sun  six  or  seven  minutes;  but  I  did  not 
observe  the  air  to  be  colder,  or  the  sky  more  darkened, 
than  if  I  had  stood  under  the  shade  of  a  mountain.  As  it 
approached  nearer  over  the  place  where  I  was,  it  appeared 
to  be  a  firm  substance,  the  bottom  flat,  smooth,  and  shin- 
ing very  bright,  from  the  reflection  of  the  sea  below.  I 
stood  upon  a  height  about  two  hundred  yards  from  the 
shore,  and  saw  this  vast  body  descending  almost  to  a  paral- 
lel with  me,  at  less  than  an  English  mile  distance.  I  took 
out  my  pocket  perspective,  and  could  plainly  discover 
numbers  of  people  moving  up  and  down  the  sides  of  it, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  207 

which  appeared  to  be  sloping;  but  what  those  people  were 
doing  I  was  not  able  to  distinguish. 

The  natural  love  of  life  gave  me  some  inward  motion  of 
joy,  and  I  w^as  ready  to  entertain  a  hope  that  this  adventure 
might,  someway  or  other,  help  to  deliver  m.e  from  the  deso- 
late place  and  condition  I  was  in.  But  at  the  same  time, 
the  reader  can  hardly  conceive  my  astonishment,  to  behold 
an  island  in  the  air,  inhabited  by  men,  who  were  able  (as 
it  should  seem)  to  rise  or  sink,  or  put  it  into  progressive 
motion,  as  they  pleased.  But  not  being  at  that  time  in  a 
disposition  to  philosophize  upon  this  phenomenon,  I  rather 
chose  what  course  the  island  would  take,  because  it  seemed 
for  awhile  to  stand  still.  Yet  soon  after,  it  advanced  nearer, 
and  I  could  see  the  sides  of  it  encompassed  with  several 
gradations  of  galleries,  and  stairs  at  certain  intervals  to 
descend  from  one  to  the  other.  .  In  the  lowest  gallery,  I 
beheld  some  people  fishing  with  long  angling-rods,  and 
others  looking  on.  I  waved  my  cap  (for  my  hat  was  long 
since  worn  out)  and  my  handkerchief  toward  the  island; 
and  upon  its  nearer  approach,  I  called  and  shouted  with 
the  utmost  strength  of  voice:  and  then  looking  circum- 
spectly, I  beheld  a  crowd  gathered  to  that  side  which  was 
most  in  my  view.  I  found  by  their  pointing  toward  me 
and  to  each  other,  that  they  plainly  discovered  me,  although 
they  made  no  return  to  my  shouting.  But  I  could  see  four 
or  five  men  running  in  great  haste  up  the  stairs,  to  the  top 
of  the  island,  who  then  disappeared.  I  happened  rightly 
to  conjecture,  that  these  were  sent  for  orders  to  some 
person  in  authority,  upon  this  occasion. 

The  number  of  people  increased,  and  in  less  than  half  an 
hour  the  island  was  moved,  and  raised  in  such  a  manner, 
that  the  lowest  gallery  appeared  in  a  parallel  of  less  than 
a  hundred  yards'  distance  from  the  height  where  I  stood. 
I  then  put  myself  in  the  most  supplicating  postures,  and 
spoke  in  the  humblest  accent,  but  received  no  answer. 
Those  who  stood  nearest  over  against  me,  seemed  to  be 
persons  of  distinction,  as  I  supposed  by  their  habit.  They 
conferred  earnestly  with  each  other,  looking  often  upon 
me.  At  length,  one  of  them  called  out  in  a  clear,  polite, 
smooth  dialect,  not  unlike  in  sound  to  the  Italian:  and 
therefore  I  returned  an  answer  in  that  language,  hoping 
at  least  that  the  cadence  might  be  more  agreeable  to  his 


208  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ears.  Although  neither  of  us  understood  the  other,  yet 
my  meaning  was  easily  known,  for  the  people  saw  the  dis- 
tress I  was  in.  ' 

They  made  signs  for  me  to  come  down  from  the  rock, 
and  go  toward  the  shore,  which  I  accordingly  did;  and  the 
flying  island  being  raised  to  a  convenient  height,  the  verge 
directly  over  me,  a  chain  was  let  down  from  the  lowest 
gallery,  with  a  seat  fastened  to  the  bottom,  to  which  I 
fixed  myself,  and  was  drawn  up  by  pulleys. 


CHAPTER    II. 

THE  HUMORS  AND  DISPOSITIONS  OF  THE  LAPTIANS  DE- 
SCRIBED —  AN  ACCOUNT  OP  THEIR  LEARNING  —  OF  THE 
KING  AND  HIS  COURT— THE  AUTHOR'S  RECEPTION  THERE 
—THE  INHABITANTS  SUBJECT  TO  FEAR  AND  DIS- 
QUIETUDES—AN ACCOUNT  OP  THE  Yv^OMEN. 

At  my  alighting,  I  was  surrounded  with  a  crowd  of  peo- 
ple, but  those  who  stood  nearest  seemed  to  be  of  better 
quality.  They  behold  me  with  all  the  marks  and  circum- 
stances of  wonder,  neither  indeed  was  I  much  in  their  debt; 
having  never  till  then  seen  a  race  of  mortals  so  singular  in 
their  shapes,  habits  and  countenances.  Their  heads  were 
all  reclined,  either  to  the  right  or  the  left;  one  of  their  eyes 
turned  inward,  and  the  other  directly  up  to  the  zenith.* 
Their  outward  garments  were  adorned  with  figures  of  sun, 
moons,  and  stars;  interwoven  with  those  of  fiddles,  flutes, 
harps,  trumpets,  guitars,  harpsichords,  and  many  instru- 
ments of  music,  unknown  to  us  in  Europe.  I  observed, 
liere  and  there,  many  in  the  habit  of  servants,  with  a  blown 
bladder,  fastened  like  a  flail  to  the  end  of  a  stick,  which 
they  carried  in  their  hands.  In  each  bladder  was  a  small 
quantity  of  dried  peas,  or  little  pebbles,  as  I  was  afterwards 
informed.  With  these  bladders  they  now  and  then  flapped 
the  mouths  and  ears  of  those  who  stood  near  them,  of 
which  practice  I  could  not  then  conceive  the  meaning.  It 
seemed  the  minds  of  these  people  are  so  taken  up  with  in- 
tense speculations,  that  they  neither  can  speak,  nor  attend 

*  By  this  description  the  author  intended  to  ridicule  those  who 
waste  life  in  speculative  sciences,  the  powers  of  whose  minds  are 
as  absurdly  employed  as  the  eyes  of  the  Laputians.— Hawkesworth. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  209 

to  the  discourses  of  others,  without  being  roused  by  some 
external  actions  upon  the  organs  of  speech  and  hearing: 
for  which  reason,  those  persons  who  are  able  to  afford  it 
always  keep  a  flapper  (the  original  is  climenole),  in  their 
family,  as  one  of  their  domestics;  nor  ever  w^alk  abroad, 
or  make  visits,  without  him.  And  the  business  of  this  offi- 
cer is,  when  two,  three,  or 'more  persons  are  in  company 
gently  to  strike  with  his  bladder  the  mouth  of  him  who 
is  to  speak,  and  the  right  ear  of  him  or  them  to  whom  the 
speaker  addresses  himself.  This  flapper  is  likewise  em- 
ployed diligently  to  attend  his  master  in  his  walks,  and 
upon  occasion  to  give  him  a  soft  flap  on  his  eyes;  because 
he  is  always  so  wrapped  up  in  cogitation,  that  he  is  in 
manifest  danger  of  falling  down  every  precipice,  and 
bouncing  his  head  against  every  post:  and  in  the  streets, 
of  jostling  others,  or  being  jostled  himself  into  the  ken- 
nel. 

It  was  necessary  to  give  the  reader  this  information, 
without  which  he  would  be  at  the  same  loss  with  me  to 
understand  the  proceedings  of  these  people,  as  they  con- 
ducted me  up  the  stairs  to  the  top  of  the  island,  and  from 
thence  to  the  royal  palace.  While  we  were  ascending  they 
forgot  several  times  what  they  were  about,  and  left  me  to 
myself,  till  their  memories  were  again  roused  by  their 
flappers:  for  they  appeared  altogether  unmoved  by  the 
sight  of  my  foreign  habit  and  countenance,  and  by  the 
shouts  of  the  vulgar,  whose  thoughts  and  minds  were  more 
disengaged. 

At  last  we  entered  the  palace,  and  proceeded  into  the 
chamber  of  presence,  where  I  saw  the  king  seated  on  his 
throne,  attended  on  each  side  by  persons  of  prime  quality. 
Before  the  throne  was  a  large  table  filled  with  globes  and 
spheres,  and  mathematical  instruments  of  all  kinds.  His 
majesty  took  not  the  least  notice  of  us,  although  our  en- 
trance was  not  without  sufficient  noise,  by  the  concourse 
of  all  persons  belonging  to  the  court.  But  he  was  then 
deep  in  a  problem;  and  we  attended  at  least  an  hour,  be- 
fore he  could  solve  it.  There  stood  by  him,  on  each  side, 
a  young  page  with  flaps  in  their  hands,  and  when  they  saw 
he  was  at  leisure,  one  of  them  gently  struck  his  mouth,  and 
the  other  his  right  ear:  at  which  he  startled  like  one 
awaked  on  the  sudden,  and  looking  towards  me  and  the 

14 


210  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

company  I  was  in,  recollected  the  occasion  of  our  coming, 
whereof  he  had  been  informed  before.  He  spoke  some 
words,  whereupon  immediately  a  young  man  with  a  flap 
came  up  to  my  side,  and  flapped  me  gently  on  the  right  ear; 
but  I  made  signs,  as  well  as  I  could,  that  I  had  no  occasion 
for  such  an  instrument;  which,  as  I  afterwards  found,  gave 
his  majesty,  and  the  whole  court,  a  very  mean  opinion  of 
mv  understanding.  The  king,  as  far  as  I  could  conjecture, 
asked  me  several  questions,  and  I  addressed  myself  to  him 
in  all  the  languages  I  had.  When  it  was  found  I  could 
neither  understand  nor  be  understood,  I  was  conducted  by 
his  order  to  an  apartment  in  his  palace  (this  prince  being 
distinguished  above  all  his  predecessors  for  his  hospitality 
to  strangers),  where  two  servants  were  appointed  to  attend 
me.  My  dinner  was  brought,  and  four  persons  of  quality, 
whom  I  remembered  to  have  seen  very  near  the  king's 
person,  did  me  the  honor  to  dine  with  me.  We  had  two 
courses  of  three  dishes  each.  In  the  first  course,  there  was  a 
shoulder  of  mutton  cut  into  an  equilateral  triangle,  a  piece 
of  beef  into  a  rhomboides,  and  a  pudding  into  a  cycloid. 
The  second  course  was  two  ducks  trussed  up  in  the  forms 
of  fiddles;  sausages  and  puddings  resembling  flutes  and 
hautbovs,  and  a  breast  of  veal  in  the  shape  of  a  harp.  The 
servants  cut  our  bread  into  cones,  cylinders,  parallelo- 
grams, and  several  other  mathematical  figures. 

While  we  were  at  dinner,  I  made  bold  to  ask  the  names 
of  several  things  in  their  language,  and  those  noble  persons 
by  the  assistance  of  their  flappers,  delighted ^  to  give  me 
answers,  hoping  to  raise  my  admiration  of  their  great  abil- 
ities, if  I  could  be  brought  to  converse  with  them.  I  was 
soon  able  to  call  for  bread  and  drink,  or  whatever  else  I 
wanted. 

After  dinner,  my  company  withdrew,  and  a  person  was 
sent  to  me  by  the  king's  order,  attended  by  a  flapper.  He 
brought  with  him,  pen,  ink,  and  paper,  and  three  or  four 
books,  giving  me  to  understand  by  signs  that'  he  was  sent 
to  teach  me  the  language.  We  sat  together  four  hours, 
in  which  time  I  wrote  down  a  great  number  of  words  in 
columns,  with  the  translations  over  against  them:  I  like- 
wise made  a  shift  to  learn  several  short  sentences,  for  my 
tutor  would  order  one  of  my  servants  to  fetch  something, 
to  turn  about,  to  make  a  bow,  to  sit,  or  to  stand,  to  walk, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  211 

and  the  like.  Then  I  took  down  the  sentence  in  writing. 
He  showed  me  also,  in  one  of  his  books,  the  figures  of  the 
sun,  moon,  and  stars,  the  zodiac,  the  tropics,  and  polar  cir- 
cles, together  with  the  denominations  of  many  planes  and 
solids.  He  gave  me  the  names  and  descriptions  of  all  the 
musical  instruments,  and  the  general  terms  of  art  in  play- 
ing on  each  of  them.  After  he  had  left  me,  I  placed  all  my 
w^ords,  with  their  interpretations,  in  alphabetical  order. 
And  thus,  in  a  few  days,  by  the  help  of  a  very  faithful  mem- 
ory, I  got  some  insight  into  their  language. 

The  word,  which  I  interpret  the  flying  or  floating  island, 
is  in  the  original  Laputa,  whereof  I  could  never  learn  the 
true  etymology  Lap,  in  the  old  obsolete  language,  signifies 
high;  and  untuh,  a  governor;  from  which  they  say,  by  cor- 
ruption, was  derived.  Laputa  from  Lapuntah.  But  I  do 
not  approve  of  this  derivation,  which  seems  to  be  a  little 
strained.  I  ventured  to  offer  to  the  learned  among  them 
a  conjecture  of  my  own,  that  Laputa  was  quasi  lap  oiUed; 
lap,  signifying  properly,  the  dancing  of  the  sunbeams  in 
the  sea,  and  outed,  a  wing;  which,  however,  I  shall  not 
obtrude,  but  submit  to  the  judicious  reader.* 

Those  to  whom  the  king  had  intrusted  me,  observed  how 
ill  I  was  clad,  ordered  a  tailor  to  come  next  morning,  and 
take  measure  for  a  suit  of  clothes.  This  operator  did  his 
office  after  a  different  manner  from  those  of  his  trade  in 
Europe.  He  first  took  my  altitude  by  a  quadrant,  and  then, 
with  rules  and  compasses,  described  the  dimensions  and 
outlines  of  my  whole  body,  all  which  he  entered  upon 
paper;  and  in  six  days  brought  my  clothes  very  ill  made, 
and  quite  out  of  shape,  by  happening  to  mistake  a  figure 
in  the  calculation.  But  my  comfort  was,  that  I  observed 
such  accidents  very  frequent,  and  little  regarded.f 

During  my  confinement  for  want  of  clothes,  and  by  an 
indisposition  that  held  me  some  days  longer,  I  much  en- 
larged my  dictionary;  and  when  I  next  went  to  court,  was 
able  to  understand  many  things  the  king  spoke,  and  to  re- 
turn him  some  kind  of  answers.    His  majesty  had  given  or- 

*  This  amusing-  burlesque  on  philolog-y  was  probably  directed  against 
Dr.  Bently,  and  is  scarcely  an  exaggeration  of  some  of  his  derivations. 

t  It  is  generally  supposed  that  Swift  alludes  here  to  an  error 
made  by  Sir  Isaac  Newton's  printer,  who  by  adding  a  cipher  to  the 
distance  of  the  earth  from  the  sun  caused  not  a  little  ridicule  to 
be  thrown  on  the  philosopher's  astronomical  calculations^ 


212  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

ders,  that  the  island  should  move  northeast-and-by-east  to 
the  vertical  point  over  Lagado,  the  metropolis  of  the  whole 
kingdom  below,  upon  the  firm  earth.  It  was  about  ninety 
leagues  distant,  and  our  voyage  lasted  four  days  and  a  half. 
I  was  not  in  the  least  sensible  of  the  progressive  motion 
made  in  the  air  by  the  island.  On  the  second  morning, 
about  eleven  o'clock,  the  king  himself  in  person,  attended 
by  his  nobility,  courtiers,  and  officers,  having  prepared  all 
their  musical  instruments,  played  on  them  for  three  hours 
without  intermission,  so  that  I  was  quite  stunned  with  the 
noise;  neither  could  I  possibly  guess  the  meaning,  till  my 
tutor  informed  me.  He  said,  "that  the  people  of  their  is- 
land had  their  ears  adapted  to  hear  the  music  of  the 
spheres,  which  always  played  at  certain  periods,  and  the 
court  was  now  prepared  to  bear  their  part,  in  whatever  in- 
strument they  most  excelled.''^ 

In  our  journey  towards  Lagado,  the  capital  city,  his  maj- 
esty ordered  that  the  island  should  stop  over  certain  towns 
and  villages,  from  whence  he  might  receive  the  petitions  of 
his  subjects.  And  to  this  purpose  several  packthreads  were 
let  down,  with  small  weights  at  the  bottom.  On  these 
packthreads  the  people  strung  their  petitions,  which 
mounted  up  directly,  like  the  scraps  of  paper  fastened  by 
schoolboys  at  the  end  of  the  string  that  holds  their  kite. 
Sometimes  we  received  wine  and  victuals  from  below  which 
were  drawn  up  by  pulley. 

The  knowledge  I  had  in  mathematics  gave  me  great  as- 
sistance in  acquiring  their  phraseology,  which  depended 
much  upon  that  science,  and  music;  and  in  the  latter  I 
was  not  unskilled.  Their  ideas  are  perpetually  conversant 
in  lines  and  figures.  If  they  would,  for  example,  praise 
the  beauty  of  a  woman,  or  any  other  animal,  they  describe 
it  by  rhombs,  circles,  parallelograms,  ellipses,  and  other 
geometrical  terms,  or  by  words  of  art  drawn  from  music, 
needless  here  to  repeat.  I  observed  in  the  king's  kitchen 
all  sorts  of  mathematical  and  musical  Instruments  after  the 
figures  of  which  they  cut  up  the  joints  that  were  served  to 
his  majesty's  table. 

t  Swift's  want  of  taste  for  music  is  mentioned  by  most  of  his 
biographers.  He  wrote  a  cantata  to  ridicule  the  fashionable  style  of 
his  own  day,  which  seems  to  prove,  not  that  he  disliked  music  of 
itself,  but  that  he  was  averse  to  the  affectation  and  jargon  of  scientific 
professors. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  213 

Their  houses  are  very  ill-built,  the  walls  bevel,  without 
one  right  angle  in  any  apartment;  and  this  defect  arises 
from  the  contempt  they  bear  to  practical  geometry,  which 
they  despise  as  vulgar  and  mechanic:  those  instructions 
they  give  being  too  refined  for  the  intellects  of  their  work- 
men, which  occasions  perpetual  mistakes.  And  although 
they  are  dexterous  enough  upon  a  piece  of  paper,  in  the 
njanagement  of  the  rule,  the  pencil,  and  the  divider,  yet  in 
the  common  actions  and  behavior  of  life,  I  have  not  seen 
a  more  clumsy,  awkward,  and  unhandy  people,  nor  so  slow 
and  perplexed  in  their  conceptions  upon  all  other  subjects, 
except  those  of  mathematics  and  music.  They  are  very  bad 
reasoners,  and  vehemently  given  to  opposition,  unless 
when  they  happen  to  be  of  the  right  opinion,  which  is 
seldom  their  case.  Imagination,  fancy,  and  invention,  they 
are  wholly  strangers  to,  nor  have  any  words  in  their  lan- 
guage by  which  those  ideas  can  be  expressed;  the  whole 
compass  of  their  thoughts  and  mind  being  shut  up  within 
the  two  forementioned  sciences. 

Most  of  them,  and  especially  those  who  deal  in  the  astro- 
nomical part,  have  great  faith  in  judicial  astrology,  al- 
though they  are  ashamed  to  own  it  publicly.  But  what  I 
chiefly  admired,  and  thought  altogether  unaccountable, 
was  the  strong  disposition  I  observed  in  them  towards 
news  and  politics,  perpetually  inquiring  into  public  affairs, 
giving  their  judgments  in  matters  of  state,  and  passionate- 
ly disputing  every  inch  of  a  party  opinion.  I  have  indeed 
observed  the  same  disposition  among  most  of  the  mathe- 
maticians I  have  known  in  Europe,  although  I  could  never 
discover  the  least  analogy  between  the  two  sciences;  un- 
less those  people  suppose,  that  because  the  smallest  circle 
has  as  many  degrees  as  the  largest,  therefore  the  regulation 
and  management  of  the  world  would  require  no  more  abil- 
ities than  the  handling  and  turning  of  a  globe:  but  I  rather 
take  this  quality  to  spring  from  a  very  common  infirmity 
of  human  nature,  inclining  us  to  be  most  curious  and  con- 
ceited in  matters  where  we  have  least  concern,  and  for 
which  we  are  at  least  adapted  by  study  or  nature. 

These  people  are  under  continual  disquietudes,  never 
enjoying  a  minute's  peace  of  mind:  and  their  disturbances 
proceed  from  causes  which  very  little  affect  the  rest  of  mor- 
tals.   Their  apprehensions  arise  from  several  changes  they 


214  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

dread  in  the  celestial  bodies:  for  instance,  that  the  earth, 
by  the  continual  approaches  of  the  sun  towards  it,  must, 
in  course  of  time,  be  absorbed,  or  swallowed  up;  that  the 
face  of  the  sun  will,  by  degrees,  be  incrusted  with  its  own 
effluvia,  and  give  no  more  light  to  the  world;  that  the 
earth  very  narrowly  escaped  a  brush  from  the  tail  of  the 
last  comet,  which  would  have  infallibly  reduced  it  to  ashes: 
and  that  the  next,  which  they  have  calculated  for  one-and- 
thirty  years  hence,  will  probably  destroy  us.  For  if,  in  its 
perihelion,  it  should  approach  within  a  certain  degree  of 
the  sun  (as  by  their  calculations  they  have  reason  to  dread), 
it  will  receive  a  degree  of  heat  ten  thousand  times  more 
intense  than  that  of  red-hot  glowing  iron;  and,  in  its  ab- 
sence from  the  sun,  carrying  a  blazing  tail  ten  hundred 
thousand  and  fourteen  miles  long,  through  which,  if  the 
earth  should  pass  at  the  distance  of  one  hundred  thousand 
miles  from  the  nucleus,  or  main  body  of  the  comet,  it 
must  in  its  passage  be  set  on  fire,  and  reduced  to  ashes; 
that  the  sun,  daily  spending  its  rays  without  any  nutriment 
to  supply  them,  will  at  last  be  wholly  consumed  and  an- 
nihilated; which  must  be  attended  with  the  destruction  of 
this  earth,  and  all  of  the  planets  that  receive  their  light 
from  it."^ 

They  are  so  perpetually  alarmed  with  the  apprehensions 
of  these,  and  the  like  impending  dangers,  that  they  can 
neither  sleep  quietly  in  their  beds,  nor  have  any  relish  for 
the  common  pleasures  and  amusements  of  life.    When  they 

*  Many  such  theories  have  been  proposed  by  persons  eminent  m 
their  day  for  mathematical  knowledge.  The  supposition  that  all  the 
bodies  in  the  universe  are  approaching-  a  common  center,  where  they 
will  meet  and  crush  each  other  to  chaos,  is  magnificently  set  forth 
in  the  following  lines  from  Darwin's  *'Botanic  Garden:" 

Roll  on,  ye  stars,  exult  in  youthful  prime; 

Mark  with  bright  curves  the  printless  steps  of  time; 

Near  and  more  near  your  beamy  cars  approach, 

And  lessening  orbs  on  lessening  orbs  encroach. 

Flowers  of  the  sky!  ye  too  to  age  shall  yield. 

Frail  as  your  silken  sisters  of  the  field; 

Star  after  star  from  Heaven's  high  arch  shall  rush, 

Suns  sink  on  suns  and  systems  systems  crush, 

Headlong,  extinct  to  one  dark  center  fall, 

And  death  and  night  and  chaos  mingle  all, 

Till  overhead,   emerging  from  the  storm, 

Primeval  nature  lifts  her  changeful  form, 

Mounts  from  her  funeral  pyre  on  wings  of  flame, 

And  soars  and  shines,  another  and  the  same. 

The  fallacy  of  the  theory  has,  however,  been  demonstrated,  and 
the  phenomena  by  which  it  seemed  to  be  supported  have  been  satis- 
factorily explained. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  215 

meet  an  acquaintance  in  the  morning,  the  first  question  is 
about  the  sun's  health;  how  he  looked  at  his  setting  and 
rising,  and  what  hopes  they  have  to  avoid  the  stroke  of  the 
approaching  comet*  This  conversation  they  are  apt  to  run 
into  with  the  same  temper  that  boys  discover  in  delighting 
to  hear  terrible  stories  of  spirits  and  hobgoblins,  which 
they  greedily  listen  to,  and  dare  not  go  to  bed  for  fear. 

The  women  of  the  island  have  abundance  of  vivacity; 
they  contemn  their  husbands,  and  are  exceedingly  fond  of 
strangers:  whereof  there  is  always  a  considerable  number 
from  the  continent  below,  attending  at  court,  either  upon  af- 
fairs of  the  several  towns  and  corporations,  or  their  own 
particular  occasions,  but  are  much  despised,  because  they 
want  the  same  endowments.  Among  these,  the  ladies 
choose  their  gallants:  but  the  vexation  is,  that  they  act 
with  too  m.uch  ease  and  security;  for  the  husband  is  al- 
ways so  wrapped  in  speculation,  that  the  mistress  and  lover 
may  proceed  to  the  greatest  familiarities  before  his  face, 
if  he  be  but  provided  with  paper  and  implement  and  with- 
out his  flapper  at  his  side. 

The  wives  and  daughters  lament  their  confinement  to  the 
island,  although  I  think  it  the  most  delicious  spot  of  ground 
in  the  world:  and  although  they  live  here  in  the  greatest 
plenty  and  magnificence,  and  are  allowed  to  do  whatever 
they  please,  they  long  to  see  the  world,  and  take  the  diver- 
sions of  the  metropolis;  w^hich  they  are  not  allowed  to  do 
without  a  particular  license  from  the  king;  and  this  is  not 
easy  to  be  obtained,  because  the  people  of  quality  have 
found,  by  frequent  experience,  how  hard  it  is  to  persuade 
their  women  to  return  from  below.  I  was  told,  that  a 
great  court  lady,  who  had  several  children, — is  married  to 
a  prime  minister,  the  richest  subject  in  the  kingdom,  a  very 
graceful  person,  extremely  fond  of  her,  and  lives  in  the 
finest  palace  in  the  island, — went  down  to  Lagado,  on  the 
pretense  of  health,  there  hid  herself  for  several  months,  till 
the  king  sent  a  warrant  to  search  for  her;  and  she  was 
found  in  an  obscure  eating  house  all  in  rags,  having  pawned 
her  clothes  to  maintain  an  old  deformed  footman,  who  beat 
her  every  day,  and  in  whose  company  she  was  taken,  much 

*  The  dread  of  comets  continued  even  amongst  the  learned  to  a 
very  late  period.  It  is  now  generally  known  that  the  density  of  these 
bodies  is  very  small,  and  consequently,  that  a  stroke  from  orie  of 
them  would  probably  not  produce  much  mischief, 


216  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

against  her  will.  And  although  her  husband  received  her 
with  all  possible  kindness,  and  without  the  least  reproach, 
she  soon  after  contrived  to  steal  down  again  with  all  h^er 
jewels,  to  the  same  gallant,  and  has  not  been  heard  of 
since. 

This  may  perhaps  pass  with  the  reader  rather  for  an  Eu- 
ropean or  English  story,  than  for  one  of  a  country  so  re- 
mote. But  he  may  please  to  consider,  that  the  caprices  of 
womankind  are  not  limited  by  any  climate  or  nation,  and 
that  they  are  much  more  uniform  than  can  be  easily  im- 
agined. 

In  about  a  month's  time,  I  had  made  a  tolerable  profi- 
ciency in  their  language,  and  was  able  to  answer  most  of 
the  king's  questions,  when  I  had  the  honor  to  attend  him. 
His  majesty  discovered  not  the  least  curiosity  to  inquire 
into  the  laws,  government,  history,  religion,  or  manners  of 
the  countries  where  I  had  been;  but  confined  his  questions 
to  the  state  of  mathematics,  and  received  the  account  I  gave 
him  with  great  contempt  and  indifference,  though  often 
roused  by  his  flapper  on  each  side. 


CHAPTER    HI. 

A  PHENOMENON  SOLVED  BY  MODERN  PHILOSOPHY  AND  AS- 
TRONOMY—THE  LAPUTIANS'  GREAT  IMPROVEMENTS  IN 
THE  LATTER— THE  KING'S  METHOD  OF  SUPPRESSING  IN- 
SURRECTIONS. 

Jealousy  of  foreigners  is  so  common  everywhere,  that  be- 
fore making  any  researches,  I  requested  leave  of  the  prince 
to  see  the  curiosities  of  the  island,  which  he  was  graciously 
pleased  to  grant,  and  ordered  my  tutor  to  attend  me.  I 
chiefly  wanted  to  know,  to  what  cause  in  art  or  nature  it 
owed  its  several  motions,  whereof  I  will  now  give  a  philo- 
sophical account  to  the  reader. 

The  flying  or  floating  island  is  exactly  circular,  its  diame- 
ter 7837  yards,  or  about  four  miles  and  a  half,  and  conse- 
quently contains  ten  thousand  acres.  It  is  three  hundred 
yards  thick.  The  bottom  or  under  surface,  which  appears 
to  those  who  view  it  from  below,  is  one  even,  regular  plate 
of  adamant,  shooting  up  to  the  height  of  about  two  hundred 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  217 

yards.  Above  it  lie  the  several  minerals  in  their  usual  or- 
der, and  over  all  is  a  coat  of  rich  mould,  ten  or  twelve  feet 
deep.  The  declivity  of  the  upper  surface,  from  the  circum- 
ference to  the  center,  is  the  natural  cause  why  all  the  dews 
and  rains  which  fall  upon  the  island  are  conveyed  in  small 
rivulets  towards  the  middle,  where  they  are  emptied  into 
four  large  basins,  each  of  about  half  a  mile  in  circuit,  and 
two  hundred  yards  distant  from  the  center.  From  these 
basins  the  water  is  continually  exhaled  by  the  sun  in  the 
daytime,  which  effectually  prevents  their  overflowing.  Be- 
sides, as  it  is  in  the  power  of  the  monarch  to  raise  the  is- 
land above  the  region  of  clouds  and  vapors,  he  can  prevent 
the  falHng  of  dews  and  rain  whenever  he  pleases.  For  the 
highest  clouds  cannot  rise  above  two  miles,  as  naturalists 
agree ;  at  least  they  are  never  known  to  do  so  in  that  coun- 
try. 

At  the  center  of  the  island  there  is  a  chasm  about  fifty 
yards  in  diameter,  whence  the  astronomers  descend  into  a 
large  dome,  which  is  therefore  called  fia^idona  gagnole,  or 
the  astronomer's  cave,  situated  at  the  depth  of  a  hundred 
yards  beneath  the  surface  of  the  adamant.  In  this  cave 
are  twenty  lamps,  continually  burning,  which,  from  the  re- 
flection of  the  adamant,  cast  a  strong  light  into  every  part. 
The  place  is  stored  with  a  great  variety  of  sextants,  quad- 
rants, telescopes,  astrolabes,  and  other  astronomical  in- 
struments. But  the  greatest  curiosity,  upon  which  the  fate 
of  the  island  depends,  is  a  loadstone  of  prodigious  size,  in 
shape  resembling  a  weaver's  shuttle.  It  is  in  length  six 
yards,  and  the  t|;iickest  part  at  least  three  yards  over.  This 
magnet  is  sustained  by  a  very  strong  axle  of  adamant  pass- 
ing through  its  middle,  upon  which  it  plays,  and  is  poised 
so  exactly  that  the  weakest  hand  can  turn  it.  It  is  hooped 
round  with  a  hollow  cylinder  of  adamant,  four  feet  deep, 
as  many  thick,  and  twelve  yards  in  diameter,  placed  hori- 
zontally, and  supported  by  eight  adamantine  feet,  each  six 
yards  high.  In  the  middle  of  the  concave  side  there  is  a 
groove  twelve  inches  deep,  in  which  the  extremities  of  the 
axle  are  lodged,  and  turned  round  as  there  is  occasion. 

The  stone  cannot  be  moved  from  its  place  by  any  force, 
because  the  hoop  and  its  feet  are  one  continued  piece  with 
that  body  of  adamant  which  constitutes  the  bottom  of  tue 
island. 


218  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

By  means  of  this  loadstone,  the  island  is  made  to  rise  and 
fall,  and  move  from  one  place  to  another.  For,  with  re- 
spect to  that  part  of  the  earth  over  which  the  monarch  pre- 
sides, the  stone  is  endued  at  one  of  its  sides  with  an  attrac- 
tive power,  and  the  other  with  a  repulsive.  Upon  placing 
the  magnet  erect,  with  its  attracting  end  toward  the  earth, 
the  island  descends;  but  when  the  repelling  extremity 
points  downv/ard,  the  island  mounts  directly  upwards. 
When  the  position  of  the  stone  is  oblique,  the  motion  of 
the  island  is  so  too:  for,  in  this  magnet,  the  forces  always 
act  in  lines  parallel  to  its  direction. 

By  this  oblique  motion  the  island  is  conveyed  to  different 
parts  of  the  monarch's  dominions.  To  explain  the  manner 
of  its  progress,  let  A  B  represent  a  line  drawn  across  the 
dominions  of  Balnibarbi,  let  the  line  C  D  represent  the  load- 
stone, of  which  let  D  be  the  repelling  end  and  C  the  attract- 
ing end,  the  island  being  over  C:  let  the  stone  be  placed  in 
position  C  D,  with  its  repelling  end  downward;  then  the  is- 
land will  be  driven  upwards  obliquely  toward  D.  When  it  is 
arrived  at  D,  let  the  stone  be  turned  upon  its  axle,  till  its  at- 
tracting end  points  toward  E^  and  then  the  island  will  be 
carried  obliquely  toward  E,  where,  if  the  stone  be  again 
turned  upon  its  axle  till  it  stands  in  the  position  E  F,  with 
'its  repelling  point  downward,  the  island  will  rise  obliquely 
towards  F,  where,  by  directing  the  attracting  end  toward 
G,  the  island  may  be  carried  to  G,  and  from  G  to  H,  by 
turning  the  stone  so  as  to  make  its  repelling  extremity  point 
directly  downward.  And  thus,  by  changing  the  situation 
of  the  stone,  as  often  as  there  is  occasion,  the  island  is 
made  to  rise  and  fall  by  turns  in  an  oblique  direction,  and 
by  those  alternate  risings  and  fallings  (the  obliquity  being 
not  considerable)  is  conveyed  from  one  part  of  the  domin- 
ions to  the  other. 

But  it  must  be  observed,  that  this  island  cannot  move 
beyond  the  extent  of  the  dominions  below,  nor  can  it  rise 
above  the  height  of  four  miles.  For  which  the  astronomers 
(who  have  written  large  systems  concerning  the  stone)  as- 
sign the  following  reason:  that  the  magnetic  virtue  does 
not  extend  beyond  the  distance  of  four  miles,  and  that  the 
mineral,  which  acts  upon  the  stone  in  the  bowels  of  the 
earth,  and  in  the  sea  about  six  leagues  distant  from  the 
shore,  is  not  diffused  through  the  whole  globe,  but  ter- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  219 

minated  with  the  Umits  of  the  king's  dominions;  and  it  was 
easy,  from  the  great  advantage  of  such  a  superior  situation, 
for  a  prince  to  bring  under  his  obedience  whatever  country 
lay  within  the  attraction  of  that  magnet. 

When  the  stone  is  put  parallel  to  the  plane  of  the  horizon, 
the  island  stands  still;  for  in  that  case  the  extremities  of  it 
being  at  equal  distance  from  the  earth,  act  with  equal  force, 
the  one  in  drawing  downwards,  the  other  in  pushing  up- 
wards, and  consequently  no  motion  can  ensue. 

This  loadstone  is  under  the  care  of  certain  astronomers, 
who  from  time  to  time,  give  it  such  positions  as  the  monarch 
directs.  They  spend  the  greatest  part  of  their  lives  in  ob- 
serving the  celestial  bodies,  which  they  do  by  the  assistance 
of  glasses,  far  excelling  ours  in  goodness.  For,  although 
their  largest  telescopes  do  not  exceed  three  feet,  they  mag- 
nify much  more  than  those  of  a  hundred  with  us,  and  show 
the  stars  with  greater  clearness.  This  advantage  has  enabled 
them  to  extend  their  discoveries  much  farther  than  our  as- 
tronomers in  Europe;  for  they  have  made  a  catalogue  of 
ten  thousand  fixed  stars,  whereas  the  largest  of  ours  do  not 
contain  above  one-third  part  of  that  number.  They  have 
likewise  discovered  two  lesser  starS;,  or  satellites,  which  re- 
volve about  Mars;  whereof  the  innermost  is  distant  from 
the  center  of  the  primary  planet  exactly  three  of  his  diame- 
ters, and  the  outermost,  five;  the  former  revolves  in  the 
space  of  ten  hours,  and  the  latter  in  twenty-one  and  a  half; 
so  that  the  squares  of  their  periodical  times  are  very  near 
in  the  same  proportion  with  the  cubes  of  their  distance, 
from  the  center  of  Mars;  which  evidently  shows  them  to 
be  governed  by  the  same  law  of  gravitation  that  influences 
the  other  heavenly  bodies. 

They  have  observed  ninety-three  different  comets,  and 
settled  their  periods  with  great  exactness.  If  this  be  true 
(and  they  afilirm  it  with  great  confidence),  it  is  much  to  be 
wished  that  their  observations  were  made  public,  whereby 
the  theory  of  comets,  which  at  present  is  very  lame  and  de- 
fective, might  be  brought  to  the  same  perfection  with  other 
parts  of  astronomy. 

The  king  would  be  the  most  absolute  prince  in  the  uni- 
verse, if  he  could  but  prevail  on  a  ministry  to  join  with  him; 
but  these,  having  their  estates  below  on  the  continent,  and 
considering  that  the  office  of  a  favorite  has  a  very  uncertain 


220  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

tenure,  would  never  consent  to  the  enslaving  of  their  coun 
try. 

'  If  any  town  should  engage  in  rebellion  or  mutiny,  fall 
into  violent  factions,  or  refuse  to  pay  the  usual  tribute,  the 
king  has  two  methods  of  reducing  them  to  obedience.  The 
first  and  the  mildest  course  is,  by  keeping  the  island  hover- 
ing over  such  a  town,  and  the  lands  about,  whereby  he  can 
deprive  them  of  the  benefit  of  the  sun  and  the  rain,  and 
consequently  afflict  the  inhabitants  vv^itli  dearth  and  diseases: 
and  if  the  crime  deserve  it,  they  are  at  the  same  time  pelted 
from  above  with  great  stones,  against  which  they  have  no 
defense  but  by  creeping  into  cellars  or  caves,  while  the  roofs 
of  their  houses  are  beaten  to  pieces.  But  if  they  still  con- 
tinue obstinate,  or  offer  to  raise  insurrections,  he  proceeds 
to  the  last  remedy,  by  letting  the  island  drop  direct  upon 
their  heads,  which  makes  an  universal  destruction  both  of 
houses  and  men.  However,  this  is  an  extremity  to  which 
the  prince  is  seldom  driven,  neither  indeed  is  he  willing  to 
put  it  in  execution ;  nor  dare  his  ministers  advise  him  to  an 
action,  which,  as  it  would  render  them  odious  to  the  people, 
so  it  would  be  a  great  damage  to  their  own  estates,  which 
lie  all  below;  for  the  island  is  the  king's  demesne. 

But  there  is  still  indeed  a  m.ore  weighty  reason,  why  the 
kings  of  this  country  have  been  always  averse  from  execut- 
ing so  terrible  an  action,  unless  upon  the  utmost  necessity. 
For,  if  the  town  intended  to  be  destroyed  should  have  in  it 
any  tall  rocks,  as  it  generally  falls  out  in  the  larger  cities, 
a  situation  probably  chosen  at  first  with  a  view  to  prevent 
such  a  catastrophe;  or  if  it  abound  in  high  spires,  or  pillars 
of  stone,  a  sudden  fall  miight  endanger  the  bottom  or  under 
surface  of  the  island,  which,  although  it  consists,  as  I  have 
said,  of  one  entire  adamant,  two  hundred  yards  thick  might 
happen  to  crack  by  too  great  a  shock,  or  burst  by  approach- 
ing too  near  the  fires  from  the  houses  below,  as  the  backs, 
both  of  iron  and  stone,  v/ill  often  do  in  our  chimneys.  Of 
all  this  the  people  are  well  apprised,  and  understand  how 
far  to  carry  their  obstinacy,  where  their  liberty  or  property 
is  concerned.  And  the  king,  when  he  is  highest  provoked, 
and  most  determined  to  press  a  city  to  rubbish,  orders  the 
island  to  descend  with  great  gentleness,  out  of  a  pretense  of 
tenderness  to  his  people,  but,  indeed,  for  fear  of  breaking 
the  adamantine  bottom;  in  which  case,  it  is  the  opinion  of 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  221 

all  their  philosophers,  that  the  loadstone  could  no  longer 
hold  it  up,  and  the  whole  mass  would  fall  to  the  ground. 

By  a  fundamental  law  of  this  realm,  neither  the  king,  nor 
either  of  his  two  elder  sons,  are  permitted  to  leave  the  is- 
land; nor  the  queen,  till  she  is  past  childbearing. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  AUTHOR  LEAVES  LAPUTA— IS  CONVEYED  TO  BALNI- 
BARBI— ARRIVES  AT  THE  METROPOLIS  —  A  DESCRIPTION 
OF  THE  METROPOLIS,  AND  THE  COUNTRY  ADJOINING— 
THE  AUTHOR  HOSPITABLY  RECEIVED  BY  A  GREAT  LORD 
—HIS  CONVERSATION  WITH  THAT  LORD. 

Quite  unwilling  to  declare  that  I  was  ill-treated  in  this 
island,  yet  I  must  confess  I  thought  myself  too  much  neg- 
lected, not  without  some  degree  of  contempt;  for  neither 
prince  nor  people  appeared  to  be  curious  in  any  part  of 
knowledge,  except  mathematics  and  music,  wherein  I  was 
far  their  inferior,  and  upon  that  account  very  little  regarded. 
On  the  other  side,  after  having  seen  all  the  curiosities  of  the 
island,  I  was  very  desirous  to  leave  it,  being  heartily  weary 
of  those  people.  They  were  indeed  excellent  in  two  sciences 
for  which  I  have  great  esteem^  and  wherein  I  am  not  un- 
versed; but  at  the  same  time,  so  abstracted  and  involved 
in  speculation,  that  I  never  met  with  such  disagreeable  com- 
panions. I  conversed  only  with  women,  tradesmen,  flap- 
pers, and  court-pages,  during  two  months  of  my  abode 
there,  by  which,  at  last,  I  rendered  myself  extremely  con- 
temptible; yet  these  were  the  only  people  from  whom  I 
could  ever  receive  a  reasonable  ansv^er. 

I  had  obtained,  by  hard  study,  a  good  degree  of  knowl- 
edge in  their  language;  I  was  weary  of  being  confined  to 
an  island,  where  I  received  ,so  little  countenance,  and  re- 
solved to  leave  it  with  the  first  opportunity.  There  was  a 
great  lord  at  court,  nearly  related  to  the  king,  and  for  that 
reason  alone,  used  with  respect.  He  was  universally  reck- 
oned the  most  ignorant  and  stupid  person  among  them.  He 
had  performed  many  eminent  services  for  the  crown,  had 
great  natural  and  acquired  parts,  adorned  with  integrity  and 
honor;   but  so  ill  an  ear  for  music,  that  his  detractors  re- 


222  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

ported,  "he  had  been  often  known  to  beat  time  m  the  wrong 
place;"  neither  could  his  tutors,  without  extreme  difficulty, 
teach  him  to  demonstrate  the  most  easy  proposition  in 
mathematics.  He  was  pleased  to  show  me  many  marks  of 
favor,  often  did  me  the  honor  of  a  visit,  desired  to  be  in- 
formed in  the  affairs  of  Europe,  the  laws  and  customs,  the 
manners  and  learning  of  the  several  countries  where  I  had 
traveled.  He  listened  to  me  with  great  attention,  and  made 
very  wise  observations  on  all  I  spoke.  He  had  two  flappers 
attending  him  for  state,  but  never  made  use  of  them,  except 
at  court  and  in  visits  of  ceremony;  and  would  always  com- 
mand them  to  withdraw,  when  we  were  alone  together. 

I  entreated  this  illustrious  person  to  intercede  in  my 
behalf  with  his  majesty,  for  leave  to  depart;  which  he  ac- 
cordingly did,  as  he  was  pleased  to  tell  me  with  regret;  for 
indeed  he  had  made  me  several  offers,  very  advantageous, 
which,  however,  I  refused,  with  expressions  of  the  highest 
acknowledgment. 

On  the  1 6th  of  February  I  took  leave  of  his  majesty  and 
the  court.  The  king  made  me  a  present  to  the  value  of 
about  two  hundred  pounds  English,  and  my  protector,  his 
kinsman,  as  much  more,  together  with  a  letter  of  recom- 
mendation to  a  friend  of  his  in  Lagado,  the  metropolis;  the 
island  being  then  hovering  over  a  mountain  about  two  miles 
from  it,  I  was  let  down  from  the  lowest  gallery,  in  the  same 
manner  as  I  had  been  taken  up. 

The  continent,  as  far  as  it  is  subject  to  the  monarch  of 
the  flying  island,  passes  under  the  general  name  of  Balni- 
barbi ;  and  the  metropolis,  as  I  said  before  is  Lagado.  I  felt 
some  little  satisfaction  in  finding  myself  on  firm  ground.  I 
walked  to  the  city  without  any  concern,  being  clad  like  one 
of  the  natives,  and  sufficiently  instructed  to  converse  with 
them.  I  soon  found  out  the  person's  house  to  whom  I  was 
recommended,  presented  my  letter  from  his  friend  the  gran- 
dee in  the  island,  and  was  received  with  much  kindness. 
This  great  lord,  whose  name  was  Munodi,  ordered  me  an 
apartment  in  his  ow^i  house,  where  I  continued  during  my 
stay,  and  was  entertained  in  a  most  hospitable  manner. 

The  next  morning  after  my  arrival,  he  took  me  in  his 
chariot  to  see  the  town,  which  is  about  half  the  bigness  of 
London;  but  the  houses  very  strangely  built,  and  the  most 
of  them  out  of  repair.     The  people  in  the  streets  walked 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  223 

fast,  looked  wild,  their  eyes  fixed,  and  were  generally  in 
rags.  We  passed  through  one  of  the  town  gates,  and  went 
about  three  miles  into  the  country^  where  I  saw  many  la- 
borers working  with  several  sorts  of  tools  on  the  ground, 
but  was  not  able  to  conjecture  what  they  w^ere  about;  neith- 
er did  I  observe  any  expectation  either  of  corn  or  grass,  al- 
though the  soil  appeared  to  be  excellent.  I  could  not  for- 
bear admiring  at  these  odd  appearances,  both  in  town  and 
country;  and  I  made  bold  to  desire  my  conductor,  that  he 
would  be  pleased  to  explain  to  me,  what  could  be  meant  by 
so  many  busy  heads,  hands,  and  faces,  both  in  the  streets 
and  the  fields,  because  I  did  not  discover  any  good  effects 
they  produced;  but  on  the  contrary,  I  never  knew  a  soil  so 
unhappily  cultivated,  houses  so  ill-contrived  and  so  ruinous, 
or  a  people  whose  countenance  and  habits  expressed  so 
much  misery  and  want."^ 

This  Lord  Munodi  was  a  person  of  the  first  rank,  and  had 
been  some  years  governor  of  Lagado;  but,  by  a  cabal  of 
ministers,  was  discharged  for  insufficiency.  However,  the 
king  treated  him  with  tenderness,  as  a  well-meaning  man, 
but  of  a  low,  contemptible  understanding. f 

*  The  description  of  the  people  of  Lagado  seems  intended  for  the 
people  of  London  during-  tne  prevalence  of  the  rage  for  speculation, 
from  1718  to  1720.  Lord  Mahon  gives  the  following  lively  picture  ol 
the  mania.  "The  Prince  of  Wales  became  a  governor  of  the  Welch 
Copper  Company.  Such  an  example  was  tempting  to  follow,  the 
Duke  of  Chandos  and  the  Earl  of  Westmoreland  appeared  likewise 
at  the  head  of  bubbles;  and  the  people  at  large  soon  djscovered  that 
to  speculate  is  easier  than  to  work.  Change  Alley  became  a  new 
edition  of  the  Rue  Quincampoix.  The  crowds  were  so  great  within 
doors,  that  tables  with  clerks  were  set  in  the  streets.  In  this  motley 
throng  were  blended  all  ranks,  all  professions,  and  all  parties: 
churchmen  and  dissenters,  Whigs  and  Tories,  country  gentlemen  and 
brokers.  An  eager  strife  of  tongues  prevailed  in  this  second  Babel; 
new  reports,  new  subscriptions,  new  transfers  flew  from  month  to 
mouth;  and  the  voice  of  ladies  (for  many  ladies  had  turned  gamblers) 
rose  loud  and  incessant  above  the  general  din.  *  *  *  Sucn  ex- 
travagances might  well  provoke  laughter;  but  unhappily,  though  Ihe 
farce  came  first,  there  was  a  tragedy  behind.  *  *  *  Thousands  of 
families  were  reduced  to  beggary,  thousands  more  were  threatened 
with  the  same  fate;  and  the  large  fortunes  made,  or  supposed  to  be 
made,  by  a  few  individuals  served  only  by  comparison  to  aggravate 
the  common  ruin.  Those  who  had  sported  most  proudly  on  the  surface 
of  the  water  were  left  stranded  and  bare  by  the  ebbing  of  that 
mighty  tide."— Lord  Mahon's  History  of  England,  vol.  ii.,  16-19. 

t  The  character  of  Lord  Munodi  appears  to  have  been  intended  for 
Lord  Bolingbroke;  on  his  return  to  England,  after  the  partial  reversal 
of  the  act  of  attainder,  he  retired  into  the  counliy,  where  he  at- 
tempted to  persuade  himself  and  others,  that,  smitten  with  the 
charms  of  solitude  and  rural  life,  he  had  resolved  to  abandon  politics 
forever,  and  devote  himself  entirely  to  the  improvement  of  his  estate 
at  Dawley.  Though  Swift  flattered  these  professions,  he  was  not 
duped  by  them.    Bolingbroke  soon  took  an  active  share  in  organizing 


224  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

When  I  gave  that  free  censure  of  the  country  and  its 
inhabitants,  he  made  no  further  answer  than  by  telHng  me 
''that  I  had  not  been  long  enough  among  them  to  form  a 
judgment;  and  that  the  different  nations  of  the  world  had 
different  customs;  with  other  common  topics  to  the  same 
purpose.  But  when  we  returned  to  his  palace,  he  asked  me, 
"how  I  liked  the  building,  what  absurdities  I  observed,  and 
what  quarrel  I  had  with  the  dress  or  looks  of  his  domes- 
tics?" This  he  might  safely  do;  because  everything  about 
him  was  magnificent,  regular  and  polite.  I  answered,  ''that 
his  Excellency's  prudence,  quality  and  fortune,  had  exempt- 
ed him  from  those  defects,  which  folly  and  beggary  had  pro- 
duced in  others."  He  said,  "if  I  could  go  with  him  to  his 
country  house,  about  twenty  miles  distant,  where  his  estate 
lay,  there  would  be  more  leisure  for  this  kind  of  conversa- 
tion." I  told  his  Excellency,  "that  I  was  entirely  at  his  dis- 
posal;" and  accordingly  we  set  out  next  morning. 

During  our  journey  he  made  me  observe  the  several 
methods  used  by  farmers  in  managing  their  lands,  which  to 
me  were  wholly  unaccountable;  for,  except  in  some  very 
few  places,  I  could  not  discover  one  ear  of  com,  or  blade  of 
grass.  But,  in  three  hours'  traveling,  the  scene  was  wholly 
altered;  we  came  into  a  most  beautiful  country;  farmers' 
houses  at  small  distances,  neatly  built;  the  fields  enclosed, 
containing  vineyards,  corn-grounds  and  meadows.  Neither 
do  I  remember  to  have  seen  a  more  delightful  prospect.  His 
Excellency  observed  my  countenance  to  clear  up;  he  told 
me  with  a  sigh,  "that  there  his  estates  began,  and  would 
continue  the  same,  till  we  should  come  to  his  house;  that 
his  countrymen  ridiculed  and  despised  him,  for  managing 
his  affairs  no  better,  and  for  setting  so  ill  an  example  to  the 
kingdom;  which,  however,  was  followed  by  very  few,  such 
as  were  old,  and  willful  and  weak,  like  him.self. 

We  came  at  length  to  the  house,  which  was,  indeed,  a 
noble  structure,  built  according  to  the  best  rules  of  archi- 
tecture. The  fountains,  gardens,  walks,  avenues,  and  groves, 
were  all  disposed  with  exact  judgment  and  taste.     I  gave 

a  formidable  opposition  against  Sir  Robert  Walpole,  and  shook  tiie 
minister  in  his  seat.  But  during-  the  debate  on  the  repeal  of  the 
Septennial  Act, Walpole  took  an  opportunity  of  developing  the  intr  gues 
of  Bolingbroke,  both  at  home  and  abroad,  which  so  confounded  the 
disappointed  statesman  that  he  quitted  the  country,  and  retired  to 
France. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  225 

due  praise  to  everything  I  saw,  wliereof  his  Excellency  took 
not  the  least  notice  till  after  supper;  when,  there  being  no 
third  companion,  he  told  me  with  a  melancholy  air,  "that 
he  doubted  he  must  throw  down  his  houses  in  town  and 
country,  to  rebuild  them  after  the  present  mode;  destroy 
all  his  plantations,  and  cast  others  into  such  a  form  as  mod- 
ern usage  required,  and  give  the  same  directions  to  his  ten- 
ants, unless  he  would  submit  to  incur  the  censure  of  pride, 
singularity,  affectation,  ignorance,  caprice,  and  perhaps  in- 
crease his  majesty's  displeasure;  that  the  admiration  I  ap- 
peared to  be  under  would  cease  or  diminish  when  he  had  in- 
formed me  of  some  particulars  which  probably  I  never 
heard  at  a  court ;  the  people  there  being  too  much  taken  up 
in  their  own  speculations,  to  have  regard  to  what  passed 
here  below." 

The  sum  of  his  discourse  was  to  this  effect:  ''that  about 
forty  years  ago,  certain  persons  went  up  to  Laputa,  either 
upon  business  or  diversion,  and,  after  five  months'  continu- 
ance, came  back  with  a  very  little  smattering  in  mathe- 
matics, but  full  of  volatile  spirits  acquired  in  that  airy  re- 
gion: that  these  persons,  upon  their  return,  began  to  dislike 
the  management  of  everything  below,  and  fell  into  schemes 
of  putting  all  arts,  sciences,  languages,  and  mechanics  upon 
a  new  foot.  To  this  end,  they  procured  a  royal  patent  for 
erecting  an  academy  of  projectors  in  Lagado;  and  the  hu- 
mor prevailed  so  strongly  among  the  people,  that  there  is 
not  a  town  of  any  consequence  in  the  kingdom  without  such 
an  academy.  In  these  colleges  the  professors  contrive  new 
rules  and  methods  of  agriculture  and  building,  and  new  in- 
struments and  tools  for  all  trades  and  manufacturers ;  where- 
by, as  they  undertake  one  man  shall  do  the  work  of  ten, 
a  palace  may  be  built  in  a  week,  of  materials  so  durable  as 
to  last  forever  without  repairing.  All  the  fruits  of  the  earth 
shall  come  to  maturity  at  whatever  season  we  think  fit  to 
choose,  and  increase  a  hundred-fold  more  than  they  do  at 
present;  with  innumerable  other  happy  proposals.  The  only 
inconvenience  is,  that  none  of  these  projects  are  yet  brought 
to  perfection;  and  in  the  meantime,  the  whole  country  lies 
miserably  waste,  the  houses  in  ruins,  and  the  people  without 
food  or  clothes.  By  all  which,  instead  of  being  discouraged, 
they  are  fifty  times  more  violently  bent  upon  prosecuting 
their  schemes,  driven  equally  on  by  hope  and  despair;  that 

15 


226  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

as  for  himself,  being  not  of  an  enterprising  spirit,  he  was 
content  to  go  on  in  the  old  forms,  to  live  in  the  houses  his 
ancestors  had  built,  and  act  as  they  did,  in  every  part  of  life, 
without  innovation;  that  some  few  other  persons  of  quality 
and  gentry  had  done  the  same,  but  were  looked  on  with  an 
eye  of  contempt  and  ill  will,  as  enemies  to  art,  ignorant, 
and  ill  commonwealth's  men,  preferring  their  own  ease  and 
sloth  before  general  improvement  of  their  country." 

His  Lordship  added  "that  he  would  not  by  any  farther 
particulars,  prevent  the  pleasure  I  should  certainly  take  in 
viewing  the  grand  academy,  whither  he  resolved  I  should 
go.  He  only  desired  me  to  observe  a  ruined  building,  upon 
the  side  of  a  mountain  about  three  miles  distant,  of  which  he 
gave  me  this  account:  'that  he  had  a  very  convenient  mill 
within  half  a  mile  of  his  house,  turned  by  a  current  from  a 
large  river,  and  sufficient  for  his  own  family  as  well  as  a 
great  number  of  his  tenants;  that  about  seven  years  ago  a 
club  of  these  projectors  came  to  him  with  proposals  to  de- 
stroy this  mill,  and  build  another  on  the  side  of  that  moun- 
tain, on  the  long  ridge  whereof  a  long  canal  must  be  cut, 
for  a  repository  of  water,  to  be  conveyed  up  by  pipes  and 
engines  to  supply  the  mill  because  the  wind  and  air  upon  a 
height  agitated  the  water,  and  thereby  made  it  fitter  for  mo- 
tion; and  because  the  water,  descending  down  a  declivity, 
would  turn  the  mill  with  half  the  current  of  a  river,  whose 
course  is  more  upon  a  level.'  He  said,  'that  being  then  not 
very  well  with  the  court,  and  pressed  by  many  of  his  friends, 
he  complied  with  their  proposal;  and  after  employing  a 
hundred  men  for  two  years,  the  work  miscarried,  the  pro- 
jectors went  off,  laying  the  blame  entirely  upon  him,  railing 
at  him  ever  since,  and  putting  others  upon  the  same  experi- 
ment, with  equal  assurance  of  success,  as  w^ell  as  equal  dis- 
appointment.' " 

In  a  few  days  we  came  back  to  town ;  and  his  Excellency, 
considering  the  bad  character  he  had  in  the  academy,  would 
not  go  with  me  himself,  but  recommended  me  to  a  friend  of 
his,  to  bear  me  company  thither.  My  lord  was  pleased  to 
represent  me  as  a  great  admirer  of  projects,  and  a  person  of 
much  curiosity  and  easy  belief;  which,  indeed  v\7as  not  with- 
out truth;  for  I  had  myself  been  a  sort  of  projector  in  my 
younger  days. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  227 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE  AUTHOR  PERMITTED  TO  SEE  THE  GRAND  ACADEMY  OF 
LAGADO— THE  ACADEMY  LARGELY  DESCRIBED  —  THE 
ARTS  WHEREIN  THE   PROFESSORS  EMPLOY   THEM- 

SELVTES.* 

Conceiving  that  my  readers  will  be  anxious  to  know  the 
particulars  of  the  Laputian  university,  I  shall  now  proceed 
to  describe  it.  This  academy  is  not  an  entire  single  build- 
ing, but  a  continuation  of  several  houses  on  both  sides  of  a 
street  which  growing  waste,  was  purchased  and  applied  to 
that  use. 

*  Sir  Walter  Scott  justly  observes  that  Swift  has  borrowed  the 
notion  of  the  Academy  of  Lagado  from  Rabelais' s  description  of  the 
court  of  Queen  Whim.  Swift,  in  his  account  of  the  employments  of  the 
academicians  at  Lagado,  has  improved  the  humor  of  Rabelais's  de- 
scription of  the  occupations  of  the  queen's  courtiers,  but  h©  has  not 
diminished  the  coarseness.    A  brief  specimen  will  be  sufficient. 

"I  saw  a  great  number  of  the  queen's  officers,  who  made  black- 
amoors w^hite  as  fast  as  hops,  just  rubbing  their  bellies  with  the  bot- 
tom or  a  pannier. 

"Others  with  three  couple  of  foxes  in  one  yoke,  ploughed  a  sand." 
shore,  and  did  not  lose  their  seed.    *    *    * 

"Others  sheared  asses,   and  thus  got  long  fleece  wool.    *    *    * 

"Poor  Panurge  fairly  cast  up  his  accounts  and  vomited,  seeing  an 
Archasdarpenin,  who  laid  a  huge  plenty  of  chamber  lye  to  putrefy 
in  horse-dung  mish-mashed  with  abundance  of  Christian  sir-reverence. 
Pugh,  fie  upon  him!  nasty  dog!  However,  he  told  us,  that  with  this 
sacred  distillation  he  watered  kings  and  princes,  and  made  their 
sweet  lives  a  fathom  or  two  in  length.    *    *    * 

"We  saw  a  knot  of  others,  about  a  baker's  dozen  in  number, 
tippling  under  an  arbor.  They  toped  out  of  jolly  bottomless  cups, 
four  sorts  of  cool,  sparkling,  delicious  vine-tree  syrup,  which  went 
down  like  mother's  milk;  and  healths  and  bumpers  Hew  about  like 
lightning.  We  were  told  that  these  true  philosophers  were  fairly 
multiplying  the  stars  by  drjnking,  till  the  seven  v/ere  fourteen,  as 
brawny  Hercules  did  with  Atlas. 

"Others  in  the  large  grass-plot  exactly  measured  how  far  the  fleas 
could  go  at  a  hop,  a  step,  and  a  jump;  and  told  us  that  this  was  ex- 
ceedingly useful  for  the  ruling  of  kingdoms,  the  conduct  of  armies, 
and  the  administrations  of  commonwealths.  And  that  Socrates,  who 
first  got  philosophy  out  of  heaven,  and  from  idling  and  trifling  made 
it  profltable  and  of  moment,  used  to  spend  half  his  philosophizing 
time  in  measuring  the  leaps  of  fleas,  as  Aristophanes  the  Quintes- 
sential affirms.    *    *    * 

"In  a  blind  corner  I  met  four  more  very  hot  at  it,  and  ready  to  go 
to  loggerheads.  I  asked  what  was  the  cause  of  this  stir  and  ado,  the 
mighty  coil  and  pother  they  made.  And  I  heard  that  for  five  livelong 
days  these  overwise  roysterers  had  been  at  it  ding-dong,  disputing  on 
three  high,  more  than  metaphysical  propositions  promising  themselves 
mountains  of  gold  by  solving  them.  The  first  was  concerning  a  he- 
ass's  shadow;  the  second  the  smoke  of  a  lantern;  and  the  third  of 
goat's  hair,  whether  it  were  wool  or  no?  We  heard  that  they  did  not 
think  it  a  bit  strange  that  two  contraaictions  in  mode,  form,  figure, 
and  tirjMe,  should  be  true,  'xxiough  I'll  warrant  the  sophists  of  Paris 
had  rather  be  unchristened  than  own  so  much."— Rabelais,  book  5, 
chap.  xxii. 


228  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

I  was  received  very  kindly  by  the  warden,  and  went  for 
many  days  to  the  academy.  Every  room  has  in  it  one  or 
more  projectors ;  and  I  believe  I  could  not  be  in  fewer  than 
five  hundred  rooms. 

The  first  man  I  saw  was  of  a  meager  aspect,  with  sooty 
hands  and  face,  his  hair  and  beard  long,  ragged,  and  singed 
in  several  places.  His  clothes,  shirt,  and  skin,  were  all  of 
the  same  color.  He  had  been  eight  years  upon  a  project  for 
extracting  sunbeams  out  of  cucumbers,  which  were  to  be  put 
in  phials  hermetically  sealed,  and  let  out  to  warm  the  air  in 
raw  inclement  summers.  He  told  me,  he  did  not  doubt,  that 
in  eight  years  more,  he  should  be  able  to  supply  the  gover- 
nor's garden  with  sunshine,  at  a  reasonable  rate;  but  he 
complained  that  his  stock  was  low,  and  entreated  me  to  give 
his  something  as  an  encouragement  to  ingenuity,  especially 
since  this  had  been  a  very  dear  season  for  cucumbers.  I 
m-ade  him  a  small  present,  for  my  lord  had  furnished  me 
with  money  on  purpose,  because  he  knew  their  practice  of 
begging  from  all  who  go  to  see  them. 

I  went  into  another  charnber,  but  was  ready  to  hasten 
back,  being  almost  overcome  with  a  horrible  stink.  My  con- 
ductor pressed  me  forward,  conjuring  me  in  a  whisper  "to 
give  no  offense,  which  would  be  highly  resented;"  and 
therefore  I  durst  not  so  much  as  stop  my  nose.  The  pro- 
jecter  of  this  cell  was  the  most  ancient  student  of  the  acad- 
emy; his  face  and  beard  were  of  a  pale  yellow;  his  hands 
and  clothes  daubed  over  with  filth.  When  I  was  presented 
to  him,  he  gave  me  a  close  embrace ;  a  compliment  I  could 
well  have  excused.  His  employment,  from  his  first  coming 
into  the  academy,  was  an  operation  to  reduce  human  ex- 
crement to  its  original  food,  by  separating  the  several  parts, 
removing  the  tincture  which  it  receives  from  the  gall,  mak- 
ing the  odor  exhale,  scumming  ofi  the  saliva.  He  had  a 
weekly  allowance  from  the  society,  of  a  vessel  filled  with 
human  ordure,  about  the  bigness  of  a  Bristol  barrel. 

I  saw  another  at  work  to  calcine  ice  into  gunpowder, 
who  likewise  showed  me  a  treatise  he  had  written  concern- 
ing the  malleability  of  fire,  which  he  intended  to  publish.* 

*  No  powers  of  ridicule  could  exaggerate  the  absurdity  of  the 
projects  for  which  companies  were  formed  in  1720,  during-  the  South 
Sea  mania;  and  Swift's  account  of  the  Academy  of  Lagado  is  tame 
when  compared  with  the  authentic  list  of  the  bubbles  of  the  day. 
Amongst  them  we  find:    "For  building  and  rebuilding  houses  through- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  229 

There  was  a  most  ingenious  architect,  who  had  contrived 
a  new  method  for  building  houses,  by  beginning  at  the  roof, 
and  working  downward  to  the  foundation;  which  he  justi- 
fied to  me,  by  the  hke  practice  of  those  two  prudent  insects, 
the  bee  and  the  spider. 

There  was  a  man  born  bhnd,  who  had  several  apprentices 
in  his  own  condition;  their  employment  was  to  mix  colors 
for  painters,  which  their  master  taught  them  to  distinguish 
by  feeling  and  smelling.  It  was  indeed  my  misfortune  to 
find  them  at  that  time  not  very  perfect  in  their  lessons,  and 
the  professor  himself  happened  to  be  generally  mistaken. 
This  artist  is  much  encouraged  and  esteemed  by  the  whole 
fraternity.f 

In  another  apartment,  I  was  highly  pleased  with  a  pro- 
jector who  had  found  a  device  of  ploughing  the  ground 
with  hogs,  to  save  the  charges  of  ploughs,  catde  and  labor. 
The  method  is  this :  in  an  acre  of  ground,  you  bury,  at  six 
inches  distance,  and  eight  deep,  a  quantity  of  acorns,  dates, 
chestnuts,  and  other  mast  or  vegetables,  whereof  these  ani- 
mals are  fondest;  then  you  drive  six  hundred  or  more  of 
them  into  the  field,  where,  in  a  few  days,  they  will  root  up 

out  all  England  (three  millions)."  "For  encouraging  the  breed  of 
horses,  and  improving  church  lands."  "For  erecting  salt  pans  in  Holy 
Island  (two  millions)."  "For  furnishing  funerals  to  any  part  of  Great 
Britain."  "For  carrying  on  the  royal  fishery  of  Great  Britain  (ten 
miUions)."  "For  insuring  of  horses  (two  millions)."  "For  wheel  for 
perpetual  motion  (one  million).  '  "For  drying  malt  by  hot  air."  'For 
building  hospitals  for  bastard  children."  "For  the  transmutalion  of 
quicksilver  into  a  malleable  fine  metal."  "For  buying  and  fitting  out 
ships  to  suppress  pirates."  "For  importing  a  number  of  large  jack- 
asses from  Spain."  "For  extracting  silver  from  lead."  But  perhaps 
the  most  strange  of  all  was  "For  an  undertaking  of  great  advantage 
which  shall  in  due  time  be  revealed."  Each  subscriber  was  to  pay 
down  two  guineas,  and  hereafter  to  receive  a  share  of  one  hundred, 
with  a  disclosure  of  the  object;  and  so  tempting  was  the  offer,  that 
one  thousand  of  these  subscriptions  were  paid  the  same  morn:ng,  with 
which  the  projecter  went  off  in  the  afternoon.  A  ballad,  which  has 
been  added  as  an  Appendix  to  the  Voyage  to  Laputa,  had  a  consid- 
erable effect  in   dispelling  the  national  delusion. 

t  Some  philosophers  of  Swift's  days  maintained  that  the  blind  could 
be  taught  to  distinguish  colors  by  the  touch,  and  quoted  the  example 
of  a  bl  nd  Danish  sculptor,  mentioned  by  Bartoiin,  who  distinguished 
all  kinds  of  wood,  and  all  the  colors,  merely  by  feeling.  Indeed,  there 
are  few  sciences  in  which  the  blind  have  not  distinguishea  them- 
selves. The  case  of  Professor  Sanderson,  at  Cambridge,  is  well 
known.  His  attainments  in  the  languages,  and  still  more  in  mathe- 
matics, in  philosophy,  and  in  music,  were  truly  astonishing.  His 
sense  of  touch  was  so  acute  that  he  distinguishes  spurious  cqinn 
merely  by  letting  them  pass  through  his  fingers,  though  they  were  so 
well  executed  that  even  skillful  judges  were  deceived  by  them,  it 
Is  probable  that  a  project  to  provide  employment  for  the  blind  was 
issued  among  the  bubbles  of  1720,  though  it  is  not  found  in  any  of  the 
lists. 


230  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  whole  ground  in  search  of  thicir  feed,  and  make  it  fit  for 
sowing,  at  the  same  time  manuring  it  with  their  dung;  it 
is  true,  upon  experiment,  they  found  the  charge  and  trouble 
very  great,  and  they  had  little  or  no  crop.  However,  it  is 
not  doubted,  that  this  invention  may  be  capable  of  great 
improvement. 

I  went  into  another  room,  where  the  walls  and  ceiling 
were  all  hung  round  with  cobwebs,  except  a  narrow  passage 
for  the  artist  to  go  in  and  out.  At  my  entrance,  he  called 
aloud  to  me  "not  to  disturb  his  webs."  He  lamented  ''the 
fatal  mistake  the  world  had  been  so  long  in,  of  using  silk- 
worms, while  he  had  such  plenty  of  domestic  insects  who  in- 
finitely excelled  the  former,  because  they  understood  how  to 
weave,  as  well  as  spin."  And  he  proposed  further,  ''that  by 
employing  spiders,  the  charge  of  dyeing  silks  should  be 
wholly  saved;  whereof  I  was  fully  convinced,  when  he 
showed  me  a  vast  number  of  flies  most  beautifully  colored, 
wherewith  he  fed  his  spiders,  assuring  us  "that  the  webs 
would  take  a  tincture  from  them;  and  as  he  had  them  of  all 
hues,  he  hoped  to  fit  everybody's  fancy,  as  soon  as  he  could 
find  proper  food  for  the  flies,  of  certain  gums,  oils,  and  other 
glutinous  matter,  to  give  a  strength  and  consistence  to  the 
threads.* 

*  This  is  not  a  caricature,  but  an  unexaggerated  statement  of  a 
project  seriously  proposed  by  M.  Bon,  an  ingenious  Frenchman,  who 
published  a  dissertation  on  the  subject  in  the  year  1710.  He  divided 
spider-threads  into  two  kinds:  "The  first  is  weak,  and  onlv  serves 
for  that  kind  of  web  with  which  they  catch  flies.  The  second  is 
much  stronger,  and  is  used  as  a  covering  for  the  eggs,  both  to  shelter 
them  from  the  cold,  and  preserve  them  from  insects.  These  threads 
they  wind  very  loosely  round  the  eggs,  resembling  the  ba,ils  or  bags 
of  silkworms  that  have  been  prepared  and  looeened  for  the  distaff. 
The  spider  bags  are  of  a  gray  color  when  new;  but  they  turn  blackish 
when  long  exposed  to  the  air;  indeed  one  might  find  other  spider-bags 
of  different  colors,  and  which  would  afford  a  better  silk,  but  their 
scarcity  would  render  the  experiment  difficult;  for  which  reason  it  is 
better  to  use  only  the  bags  of  the  short-legged  sniders,  which  are 
the  most  common  kind.  These  always  find  out  some  place,  secure 
from  the  wind  and  the  rain,  to  make  their  bags,  as  hollow  trees, 
the  corners  of  windows  or  vaults,  or  under  the  eaves  of  houses,"  To 
the  dissertation  is  appended  a  very  interesting  detail  of  M.  Bon's 
experiments  and  their  results,  of  which  the  following  is  a  brief  ab- 
stract: "Out  of  eight  hundred  spiders  which  M,  Bon  kent,  scarcely 
one  died  in  a  year,  whereas  of  one  hundred  silkworms,  not  forty  lived 
to  make  their  bags."  M.  Bon  having  ordered  all  the  short  legged 
spiders  that  could  be  found  in  the  months  of  August  and  September 
to  be  brought  to  him,  shut  them  up  in  paner  cofRns  and  pots,  covering 
the  pots  with  paper,  which  he  pricked  full  of  pin  holes,  as  well  as  the 
coffins,  to  give  them  air.  He  fed  them  with  flies  and  found  sometime 
afterwards,  that  the  greater  part  of  them  had  made  their  bags.  The 
same  ingenious  person  found  that  spider's  bags,  with  regard  to  their 
weight,  afforded  much  more  silk  than  those  of  the  silkworms ;  as  a 
proof  of  which  he  observes,   that  thirteen  ounces  yield  four  ounces 


^'' 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  liai 

There  was  an  astronomer,  who  had  undertaken  to  place  a 
sun-dial  upon  the  great  weathercock  on  the  town-house,  by 
adjusting  the  annual  and  diurnal  motions  of  the  earth  and 
sun,  so  as  to  answer  and  coincide  with  all  accidental  turnings 
of  the  wind. 

I  was  complaining  of  a  small  fit  of  the  colic,  upon  which 
my  conductor  led  me  into  a  room  where  a  great  physician 
resided,  who  was  famous  for  curing  that  disease,  by  contrary 
operations  from  the  same  instrument.  He  had  a  large  pair 
of  bellows,  with  a  long  slender  muzzle  of  ivory;  this  he  con- 
veyed eight  inches  up  the  anus,  and  drawing  in  the  wind, 
he  affirmed  he  could  make  the  guts  as  lank  as  a  dried  blad- 
der. But  when  the  disease  was  more  stubborn  and  violent, 
he  let  in  the  muzzle  while  the  bellows  were  full  of  wind, 
which  he  discharged  into  the  body  of  the  patient;  then 
withdrew  the  instrument  to  replenish  it  by  clapping  his 
thumb  strongly  against  the  orifice  of  the  fundament;  and 
this  being  repeated  three  or  four  times,  the  adventitious 
wind  would  rush  out  bringing  the  noxious  along  with  it 
(like  water  put  into  a  pump),  and  the  patient  recovered.  I 
saw  him  try  both  experiments  upon  a  dog,  but  could  not 
discern  any  effect  from  the  former.  After  the  latter  the  ani- 
mal was  ready  to  burst,  and  made  so  violent  a  discharge  as 
was  very  offensive  to  me  and  my  companion.  The  dog  died 
on  the  spot,  and  we  left  the  doctor  endeavoring  to  recover 
him,  by  the  same  operation.* 

of  clear  silk,  two  ounces  of  which  will  make  a  pair  of  stockings; 
whereas,  stockings  of  common  silk  weigh  seven  or  eight  ounces.  He 
found  that  the  spider-silk  readily  took  all  kinds  of  dyes,  and  might 
he  made  into  all  kinds  of  stuffs.  M.  Bon  had  stockings  and  gloves 
made  of  it,  some  of  which  he  presented  to  the  Royal  Academy  of 
France,  and  others  to  our  Royal  Society.  The  Royal  Academy  of 
France  appointed  the  celebrated  M.  Reaumur  to  investigate  this  new 
silk-work,  and  his  report  is  contained  in  the  memoirs  of  the  Academy 
for  1710.  Reaumur  showed  that  such  a  manufacture  was  by  no  means 
Impossible,  but  at  the  same  t'me  demonstrated  that  the  material  would 
not  be  worth  the  trouble  and  expense  of  its  preparation. 

It  is  a  pity  that  Swift  was  not  acquainted  with  the  more  ludicrous 
details  of  M.  Bon's  proposal.  He  asserted  that  spider-silk  would  yield 
by  distillation,  several  specific  medicines,  particularly  great  quantities 
of  spirit  and  volatile  salts;  which,  being  prepared  after  the  same  man- 
ner as  that  drawn  from  the  bags  of  silkworms  in  making  the  Guttae 
Anglicanae,  or  English  drops,  at  one  time  so  famous  all  over  Europe, 
may  serve  to  make  other  drops  of  great  efficacy,  which  M.  Bon  calls 
drops'  of  Montepellier,  and  advises  to  be  used  in  all  lethargic  or  sleepy 
disorders. 

*  The  ridicule    of    this  passage  is  directed  against  Dr.  Woodward 
who  published  a  theory  of  vomition,   founded  on  a  series  of  experi- 
ments he  had  tried   with  dogs.     V^oodward   was  rather  severely   at- 
tacked by  Dr.  Friend,  who  treated  him  as  an  ignorant  empiric.  Friend 


232  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

I  visited  many  other  apartments,  but  shall  not  trouble  my 
reader  with  all  the  curiosities  I  observed,  being  studious  of 
brevity. 

I  had  hitherto  seen  only  one  side  of  the  academy,  the 
other  being  appropriated  to  the  advancers  of  speculative 
learning,  of  whom  I  shall  say  something,  when  I  have  men- 
tioned one  illustrious  person  more,  who  is  called  among 
them  "the  universal  artist."  He  told  us  ''he  had  been  thirty 
years  employing  his  thoughts  for  the  improvement  of 
human  life."  He  had  two  large  rooms  full  of  wonderful 
curiosities,  and  fifty  men  at  work.  Some  were  condensing 
air  into  a  dry  tangible  substance,  by  extracting  the  nitre, 
and  letting  the  aqueous  or  fluid  particles  percolate;  others 
softening  marble,  for  pillows  and  pin-cushions;  others 
petrifying  the  hoofs  of  a  living  horse,  to  preserve  them  from 
foundering.  The  artist  himself  was  at  that  time  busy  upon 
two  great  designs;  the  first  to  sow  land  with  chaff,  wherein 
he  affirmed  the  true  seminal  virtue  to  be  contained,  as  he 
demonstrated  by  several  experiments,  which  I  was  not  skill- 
ful enough  to  comprehend.  The  other  was,  by  a  certain 
comiposition  of  gums,  minerals,  and  vegetables,  outwardly 
applied,  to  prevent  the  growth  of  wool  upon  two  young 
lambs;  and  he  hoped,  in  a  reasonable  time,  to  propagate 
the  breed  of  naked  sheep  all  over  the  kingdom. 

We  crossed  a  walk  to  the  other  part  of  the  academy, 
where,  as  I  have  already  said,  the  projectors  of  speculative 
learning  resided. 

The  first  professor  I  saw,  was  in  a  very  large  room,  with 
forty  pupils  about  him.  After  salutation,  observing  me  to 
look  earnestly  upon  a  fram.e,  which  took  up  the  greatest  part 
of  both  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  room,  he  said:  ''Per- 
haps I  might  wonder  to  see  him  employed  in  a  project  for 
improving  speculative  knowledge,  by  practical  and  mechani- 
cal operations.  But  the  world  would  soon  be  sensible  of  its 
usefulness;  and  he  flattered  himself  that  a  more  noble,  ex- 
alted thought  never  sprang  into  any  other  man's  head. 
Every  one  knew  how  laborious  the  usual  method  is  of  at- 

was  a  zealous  Tory,  and  intimately  connected  with  the  Bishop  of 
Rochester:  indeed  he  was  sent  to  the  Tower,  when  the  Habeas  Corpus 
Act  was  susuended,  on  account  of  Layer's  plot;  Swirt  knew  nothing 
of  the  merits  of  the  discussion,  but  he  was  intimate  with  Friend  and 
disliked  Woodward;  Pope  shared  the  same  feelings,  for  in  Martinus 
Scriblerus  there  is  a  very  humorous  parody  of  Woodward's  Disser- 
tation on  an  Ancient  Shield, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  233 

taining  to  arts  and  sciences;  whereas,  by  his  contrivance 
the  most  ignorant  person,  at  a  reasonable  charge,  and  with  a 
httle  bodily  labor,  might  write  books  in  philosophy,  poetry, 
politics,  laws,  mathematics,  and  theology,  without  the  least 
assistance  from  genius  or  study."  He  then  led  me  to  the 
frame,  about  the  sides  whereof  all  his  pupils  stood  in  ranks. 
It  was  twenty  feet  square,  placed  in  the  middle  of  the  room.. 
The  superficies  was  composed  of  several  bits  of  wood,  about 
the  bigness  of  a  die,  but  some  larger  than  others.  They  w^ere 
all  linked  together  by  slender  wires.  These  bits  of  wood 
were  covered,  on  every  square,  with  paper  pasted  on  them; 
and  on  these  papers  were  written  all  the  words  of  their  lan- 
guage, in  their  several  moods,  tenses,  and  declensions ;  but 
without  any  order.  The  professor  then  desired  me  ''to  ob- 
serve; for  he  was  going  to  set  his  engine  at  work."  The 
pupils,  at  his  command,  took  each  of  them  hold  of  an  iron 
handle,  whereof  there  were  forty  fixed  round  the  edges 
of  the  frame;  and  giving  them  a  sudden  turn,  the  whole  dis- 
position of  the  words  was  entirely  changed.  He  then  com- 
manded six-and-thirty  of  the  lads  to  read  the  several  lines 
softly,  as  they  appeared  upon  the  frame;  and  where  they 
found  three  or  four  words  together  that  might  make  part 
of  a  sentence,  they  dictated  to  the  four  remaining  boys, 
w^ho  w^ere  scribes.  This  work  was  repeated  three  or  four 
times;  and  at  every  turn,  the  engine  was  so  contrived,  that 
the  words  shifted  into  nev/  places,  as  the  square  bits  of  wood 
moved  upside  dov/n.''^ 

Six  hours  a  day  the  young  students  were  employed  in  this 
labor;  and  the  professor  showed  me  several  volumes  in 
large  folio,  already  collected,  of  broken  sentences,  which 
he  intended  to  piece  together,  and  out  of  those  rich  mate- 

*  Raymond  Lully  actually  propounded  a  mechanical  contrivance 
for  the  solution  of  all  possible  problems.  And  Cornenus  Agrippa  wrote 
a  commentary  upon  the  project,  by  means  of  which  he  declared  that 
any  man  might  be  enabled  v/ith  facility  to  discuss  any  subject,  how- 
ever abstruse  and  difficult.  The  machine  was  to  consist  of  a  certain 
number  of  concentric  circles,  some  fixed  and  some  movable;  on  the 
second,  absolute  predicates;  on  the  third,  relative  predicates;  and  on 
the  others,  formularies  of  questions.  A  system  of  triangles  was  applied 
for  expressing  conditions  and  limitations;  and  Agrippa  in  his  Com- 
mentaries gwes  some  extraordinary  specimens  of  results.  Many 
eminent  meu,  particularly  Kircher  and  Kuhlman,  advoca.ted  this 
mechanical  contrivance,  and  averred  that  they  had  brought  it  to  a 
high  degree  of  perfection.  Those  who  have  witnessed  the  operations 
of  Babbage's  calculating  machine  must  confess,  that  so  far  as  the 
relations  of  quantity  are  concerned,  a  mechanical  contrivance  has 
succeeded  in  solving  problems  which  would  test  the  highest  attain- 
ments of  a  ma,thematician. 


234  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

rials,  to  give  the  world  a  complete  body  of  all  arts  and 
sciences;  which  however,  might  be  still  improved,  and  much 
expedited,  if  the  public  would  raise  a  fund  for  making  and 
employing  five  hundred  such  frames  in  Lagado,  and  oblige 
the  managers  to  contribute  in  common  their  several  col- 
lections. 

He  assured  me  ''that  this  invention  had  employed  all  his 
thoughts  from  his  youth:  that  he  had  emptied  the  whole  vo- 
cabulary into  his  frame,  and  made  the  strictest  computation 
of  the  general  proportion  there  is  in  books  between  the  num- 
bers of  particles,  nouns,  and  verbs,  and  other  parts  of 
speech." 

I  made  my  humblest  acknowledgment  to  this  illustrious 
person  for  his  great  communicativeness;  and  promised,  "if 
ever  I  had  the  good  fortune  to  return  to  my  native  country, 
that  I  would  do  him  justice,  as  the  sole  inventor  of  this  won- 
derful machine;"  the  form  and  contrivance  of  which  I  desired 
leave  to  delineate  on  paper.  I  told  him,  "although  it  were 
the  custom  of  our  learned  in  Europe  to  steal  inventions  from 
each  other,  who  had  thereby  at  least  this  advantage, 
that  it  became  a  controversy  which  was  the  right  owner:  yet 
I  would  take  such  caution,  that  he  should  have  the  honor 
entire,  without  a  rival." 

We  next  went  to  the  school  of  languages,  where  three 
professors  sat  in  consultation  upon  improving  that  of  their 
own  country. 

The  first  project  was  to  shorten  discourse,  by  cutting 
polysyllables  into  one,  and  leaving  out  verbs  and  participles ; 
because,  in  reality,  all  things  imaginable  are  but  nouns. 

The  other  project  was  a  scheme  for  entirely  abolishing  all 
words  whatsoever;  and  this  was  urged  as  a  great  advantage 
in  point  of  health  as  well  as  brevity.  For  if  is  plain,  that 
every  word  we  speak  is,  in  some  degree,  a  diminution  of  our 
lungs  by  corrosion;  and  consequently  contributes  to  the 
shortening  of  our  lives.  An  expedient  was  therefore  offered, 
''that  since  words  are  only  names  for  things,  it  would  be 
more  convenient  for  all  men  to  carry  about  them  such  things 
as  were  necessary  to  express  a  particular  business  they  are 
to  discourse  on."  And  this  invention  would  certainly  have 
taken  place,  to  the  great  ease  as  well  as  health  of  the  subject, 
if  the  women,  in  conjunction  with  the  vulgar  and  illiteratCf 
had  not  threatened  to  raise  a  rebellion  unless  they  might  be 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  235 

allowed  the  liberty  to  speak  with  their  tongues  after  the 
manner  of  their  forefathers;  such  constant  irreconcilable 
enemies  to  science  are  the  common  people.  However,  many 
of  the  most  learned  and  wise  adhere  to  the  new  scheme  of 
expressing  themselves  by  things ;  which  has  only  this  incon- 
venience attending  it,  that  if  a  man's  business  be  very  great, 
and  of  various  kinds,  he  must  be  obliged,  in  proportion,  to 
carry  a  greater  bundle  of  things  upon  his  back,  unless  he 
can  afford  one  or  two  strong  servants  to  attend  him.  I  have 
often  beheld  two  of  these  sages  almost  sinking  under  the 
weight  of  their  pack,  like  peddlers  among  us;  who,  when 
they  met  in  the  street  would  lay  down  their  loads;  open  their 
sacks,  and  hold  conversation  for  an  hour  together;  then  put 
up  their  implements,  help  each  other  to  resume  their  bur- 
dens, and  take  their  leave. 

But  for  short  conversations,  a  man  may  carry  implements 
in  his  pockets,  and  under  his  arms,  enough  to  supply  him; 
and  in  his  house,  he  cannot  be  at  a  loss.  Therefore  the  room 
where  company  meet  who  practice  this  art,  is  full  of  all 
things,  ready  at  hand,  requisite  to  furnish  matter  for  this 
kind  of  artificial  converse. 

Another  great  advantage  proposed  by  this  invention  was, 
that  it  would  serve  as  a  universal  language,  to  be  understood 
in  all  civilized  nations,  whose  goods  and  utensils  are  gen- 
erally of  the  same  kind,  or  nearly  resembling,  so  that  their 
uses  might  easily  be  comprehended.  And  thus  ambassadors 
would  be  qualified  to  treat  with  foreign  princes,  or  ministers 
of  state,  to  whose  tongues  they  were  utter  strangers. 

I  was  at  the  mathematical  school,  where  the  master 
taught  his  pupils  after  a  method  scarce  imaginable  to  us  in 
Europe.  The  proposition  and  demonstration  were  fairly 
written  on  a  thin  wafer,  with  ink  composed  of  cephalic  tinc- 
ture. This,  the  student  was  to  swallow  upon  a  fasting  sto- 
mach, and  for  three  days  following  eat  nothing  but  bread 
and  water.  As  the  wafer  digested,  the  tincture  mounted  to 
his  brain,  bearing  the  composition  along  with  it.  But  the 
success  has  not  hitherto  been  answerable,  partly  by  some 
error  in  the  qiiantiun  or  proposition,  and  partly  by  the 
perverseness  of  lads,  to  whom  this  bolus  is  so  nauseous,  that 
they  generally  steal  aside,  and  discharge  it  upw^ards,  before 
it  can  operate ;  neither  have  they  been  yet  persuaded  to  use 
so  long  an  abstinence  as  the  prescription  requires. 


236  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

A  FARTHER  ACCOUNT  OF  THE  ACADEMY— THE  AUTHOR  PRO- 
POSES SOME  IMPROVEMENTS,  WHICH  ARE  HONORABLY 
RECEIVED. 

Judgment  does  not  seem  to  rule  in  the  school  of  political 
projectors,  where  I  was  but  ill  entertained;  the  professors 
appearing  to  me  wholly  out  of  their  senses,  which  is  a  scene 
that  never  fails  to  make  me  melancholy.  These  unhappy 
people  were  proposing  schemes  for  persuading  monarchs  to 
choose  favorites  upon  the  score  of  their  wisdom,  capacity, 
and  virtue;  of  teaching  ministers  to  consult  public  good;  of 
rewarding  merit,  great  abilities,  and  eminent  services;  of 
instructing  princes  to  know  their  true  interest,  by  placing  it 
on  the  same  foundation  with  that  of  their  people;  of  choos- 
ing for  employments  persons  qualified  to  exercise  them.; 
with  many  other  wild,  impossible  chimeras,  that  never  en- 
tered before  into  the  heart  of  man  to  conceive;  and  con- 
firm.ed  in  me  the  old  observation,  "that  there  is  nothing  so 
extravagant  and  irrational,  which  some  philosophers  have 
not  maintained  for  truth." 

But,  however,  I  shall  so  far  do  justice  to  this  part  of  the 
academy,  as  to  acknowledge  that  all  of  them  w^ere  not  so 
visionary.  There  was  a  most  Ingenious  doctor,  who  seemed 
to  be  perfectly  versed  in  the  whole  nature  and  system  of 
government.  This  illustrious  person  had  very  usefully  em- 
ployed his  studies,  in  finding  out  efifectual  remedies  for  all 
diseases  and  corruptions,  to  which  the  several  kinds  of  pub- 
lic administration  are  subject,  by  the  vices  or  iniirmities  of 
those  who  govern,  as  well  as  by  the  licentiousness  of  those 
who  are  to  obey.  For  instance,  whereas  all  writers  and  rea- 
soners  have  agreed,  that  there  is  a  strict  universal  resem- 
blance between  the  natural  and  the  political  body;  can  there 
be  anything  more  evident,  than  that  the  health  of  both  must 
be  preserved,  and  the  diseases  cured,  by  the  same  prescrip- 
tions? It  is  allowed,  that  senates  and  great  councils  are  often 
troubled  with  redundant,  ebullient,  and  other  peccant 
humors;  with  many  diseases  of  the  head,  and  more  of  the 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  237 

heart;  with  stro.n»g  convulsions,  with  grievous  contractions 
of  the  nerves  and  sinews  in  both  hands,  but  especially  the 
right;  with  spleen,  flatus,  vertigoes,  and  deliriums;  with 
scrofulous  tumors,  full  of  fetid  purulent  matter;  with  sour, 
frothy  eructations;  with  canine  appetites,  and  crudeness  of 
digestion,  besides  many  others,  needless  to  mention.  This 
doctor  therefore  proposed,  "that  upon  the  m.eeting  of  the 
senate,  certain  physicians  should  attend  at  the  three  first 
days  of  their  sitting,  and  at  the  close  of  each  day's  debate 
feel  the  pulses  of  every  senator;  after  which,  having  ma- 
turely considered  and  consulted  upon  the  nature  of  the  sev- 
eral maladies,  and  the  methods  of  cure,  they  should  on  the 
fourth  day  return  to  the  senate-house,  attended  by  their 
apothecaries,  stored  with  proper  medicines;  and  before  the 
members  sat,  administer  to  each  of  them  lenitives,  opera- 
tives, abstersives,  corrosives,  restringents,  palliatives,  laxa- 
tives, cephallagics,  icterics,  apophlegmatics,  acoustics,  as 
their  several  cases  required;  and  according  as  these  medi- 
cines should  operate,  repeat,  alter,  or  omit  them,  at  the  next 
meeting." 

This  project  could  not  be  of  any  great  expense  to  the 
public;  and  might,  in  my  poor  opinion,  be  of  much  use  for 
the  despatch  of  business,  in  those  countries  where  senates 
have  any  share  in  the  legislative  power;  beget  unanimity, 
shorten  debates,  open  a  few  mouths  which  are  now  closed, 
and  close  many  more  which  are  now  open;  curb  the  petu- 
lancy  of  the  young,  and  correct  the  positiveness  of  the  old; 
rouse  the  stupid,  and  damp  the  pert. 

Again:  because  it  is  a  general  complaint,  that  the  favor- 
ites of  princes  are  troubled  with  short  and  weak  memories ; 
the  same  doctor  proposed,  "that  whoever  attended  a  first 
minister,  after  having  told  his  business  with  the  utmost 
brevity  and  in  the  plainest  words,  should,  at  his  departure, 
give  the  said  minister  a  tweak  by  the  nose,  or  a  kick  in  the 
belly,  or  tread  on  his  corns,  or  lug  him  thrice  by  both  ears, 
or  run  a  pin  into  his  breech,  or  pinch  his  arm  black  and 
blue,  to  prevent  forgetfulness  and  at  every  levee-day,  repeat 
the  same  operation,  till  the  business  were  done,  or  absolutely 
refused." 

He  likewise  directed,  "that  every  senator  in  the  great 
council  of  a  nation,  after  he  had  delivered  his  opinion  and 
argued  in  the  defense  of  it,  should  be  obliged  to  give  his  vote 


238  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

directly  contrary;  because  if  that  were  done,  the  resuh  would 
infalhbly  terminate  in  the  good  of  the  public." 

When  parties  in  a  state  are  violent,  he  offered  a  wonderful 
contrivance  to  reconcile  them.  The  method  is  this,  you  take 
a  hundred  leaders  of  each  party;  you  dispose  them  into 
couples  of  such  whose  heads  are  nearest  of  a  size;  then  let 
two  nice  operators  saw  off  the  occiput  of  each  couple  at  the 
same  time,  in  such  a  manner,  that  the  brain  may  be  equally 
divided.  Let  the  occiputs  thus  cut  off,  be  interchanged, 
applying  each  to  the  head  of  his  opposite  partyman.  It 
seems  indeed  to  be  a  work  that  requires  some  exactness,  but 
the  professor  assured  us,  "that  if  it  were  dexterously  per- 
formed, the  cure  would  be  infallible."  For  he  argued  thus: 
''that  the  two  half  brains  being  left  to  debate  the  matter 
between  themselves  within  the  space  of  one  skull,  would 
soon  come  to  a  good  understanding;  and  produce  that 
m.oderation,  as  well  as  regularity  of  thinking,  so  much  to  be 
wished  for  in  the  heads  of  those  who  imagine  they  come  into 
the  world  only  to  watch  and  govern  its  motion;  and  as  to 
the  difference  of  brains,  in  quantity  or  quality,  among 
those  who  are  directors  in  faction,"  the  doctor  assured  us, 
from  his  own  knowledge,  ''that  it  was  a  perfect  trifle." 

I  heard  a  very  warm  debate  between  two  professors,  about 
the  most  commodious  and  effectual  ways  and  means  of  rais- 
ing money,  without  grieving  the  subject.  The  first  afifirmed, 
"the  justest  method  would  be  to  lay  a  certain  tax  upon  vices 
and  folly;  and  the  sum  fixed  upon  every  man  to  be  rated, 
after  the  fairest  manner,  by  a  jury  of  his  neighbors."  The 
second  was  of  an  opinion  directly  contrary;  "to  tax  those 
qualities  of  body  and  mind  for  which  men  chiefly  value 
themselves;  the  rate  to  be  more  or  less,  according  to  the 
degrees  of  excelling;  the  decision  whereof  should  be  left 
entirely  to  their  ovv^n  breast."  The  highest  tax  was  upon  men 
who  are  the  greatest  favorites  of  the  other  sex,  and  the 
assessments,  according  to  the  number  and  nature  of  the 
favors  they  have  received;  for  which,  they  are  allowed  to  be 
their  own  vouchers.  Wit,  valor,  and  politeness,  were  like- 
wise proposed  to  be  largely  taxed,  and  collected  in  the  same 
manner,  by  every  person's  giving  his  own  word  for  the 
quantum  of  what  he  possessed.  But  as  to  honor,  justice, 
wisdom,  and  learning,  they  should  not  be  taxed  at  all;  be- 
cause they  are  qualifications  of  so  singular  a  kind,  that  no 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  239 

man  will  either  allow  them  in  his  neighbor  or  value  them  in 
himself. 

The  women  were  proposed  to  be  taxed  according  to  their 
beauty  and  skill  in  dressing,  wherein  they  had  the  same 
privilege  with  the  men,  to  be  determined  by  their  own  judg- 
ment. But  constancy,  chastity,  good  sense,  and  good-na- 
ture, were  not  rated,  because  they  would  not  bear  the  charge 
of  collecting. 

To  keep  senators  in  the  interest  of  the  crown,  it  was  pro- 
posed that  the  members  shall  raffle  for  employments;  every 
man  first  taking  an  oath,  and  giving  security,  that  he  would 
vote  for  the  court,  whether  he  won  or  not;  after  which,  the 
losers  had,  in  their  turn,  the  liberty  of  raffling  upon  the  next 
vacancy.  Thus,  hope  and  expectation  would  be  kept  alive; 
none  would  complain  of  broken  promises,  but  impute  their 
disappointments  wholly  to  fortune,  whose  shoulders  are 
broader  and  stronger  than  those  of  a  ministry. 

Another  professor  showed  me  a  large  paper  of  instruc- 
tions for  discovering  plots  and  conspiracies  against  the  gov- 
ernment."^ He  advised  great  statesmen  to  examine  into  the 
diet  of  all  suspected  persons;  their  times  of  eating;  upon 
w^hich  side  they  lay  in  bed;  with  which  hand  they  wipe 
their  posteriors;  take  a  strict  view  of  their  excrements,  and 
from  the  color,  the  odor,  the  taste,  the  consistence,  the 
crudeness,  or  maturity  of  digestion,  form  a  judgment  of 
their  thoughts  and  designs;  because  men  are  never  so 
serious,  thoughtful,  and  intent,  as  when  they  are  at  stool, 
which  he  found  by  experience;  for  in  such  conjunctures, 
when  he  used,  merely  as  a  trial,  to  consider  which  was  the 
best  way  of  murdering  the  king,  his  ordure  would  have  a 
tincture  of  green ;  but  quite  different  when  he  thought  only 
of  raising  an  insurrection,  or  burning  the  metropolis.f 

The  whole  discourse  was  written  with  great  acuteness, 
containing  many  observations,  both  curious  and  useful  for 

*  From  this  to  the  end  of  the  chapter,  the  proceedings  on  the  Bill 
of  Attainder  against  the  Bishop  of  Rochester  are  bitterly  ridiculed. 

t  The  following  extract  from  the  Duke  of  Wharton's  speech  on  the 
second  reading  of  the  Bill  of  Attainder,  will  sufficiently  explain  this 
coarse  allusion.  "The  next  point  which  was  attempted  to  be  proved, 
was,  that  Captain  Halstead  went  to  fetch  the  late  Duke  of  Ormond, 
and  was  at  the  deanery  with  the  bishop  before  he  embarked;  there 
are  also  two  letters,  found  in  the  bishop's  close  stool,  from  this  gen- 
tleman, which  were  read,  but  are  only  appointments  for  visits,  and 
mention  nothing  of  this  design." 


240  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

politicians;  but,  as  I  conceived,  not  altogether  complete. 
This  I  ventured  to  tell  the  author,  and  offered,  if  he  pleased, 
to  supply  him  with  some  additions.  He  received  my  propo- 
sition with  more  compliance  than  is  usual  among  writers, 
especially  those  of  the  projecting  species;  professing,  "he 
would  be  glad  to  receive  further  information." 

I  told  him,  ''that  in  the  kingdom  of  Tribnia,t  by  the  na- 
tives called  Langden,J  where  I  had  sojourned  some  time  in 
my  travels,  the  bulk  of  the  people  consist  in  a  manner  wholly 
of  discoverers,  witnesses,  informers,  accusers,  prosecutors, 
evidences,  swearers,  together  with  their  several  subsendenl 
and  subaltern  instruments,  all  under  the  colors,  the  conduct, 
and  the  pay  of  ministers  of  state,  and  their  deputies. §  The 
plots,  in  that  kingdom,  are  usually  the  workmanship  of  those 
persons  who  desire  to  raise  their  own  characters  of  profound 
politicians;  to  restore  new  vigor  to  a  crazy  administra- 
tion ;j|  to  stifie  or  divert  general  discontents;  to  fill  their  cof- 
fers with  forfeitures;  and  raise  or  sink  the  opinion  of  public 
credit,  as  either  shall  best  answer  their  private  advantage.* 

t  Britain.  J  London. 

§  The  charge  against  the  Bishop  of  Rochester  was  supported  by 
circumstantial  evidence  derived  from  a  long  and  tangled  series  of 
intercepted  correspondence  and  deciphered  letters.  The  Duke  of  Whar- 
ton has  given  in  his  speech  a  very  able  summary  of  the  arguments 
urged  by  the  bishop  and  his  friends  against  this  line  of  evidence.  "My 
lords,  it  very  well  deserves  your  lordships'  consideration,  how  far  thi.s 
kind  of  evidence  is  to  be  admitted.  It  has  appeared  to  your  lordships 
by  the  oath  of  Mr.  Willes  himself  (the  decpherer  employed  by  the 
government),  that  it  is  an  art  which  depends  upon  conjecture,  for 
this  gentleman  has  confessed,  that  every  man  is  liable  to  a  mistake 
in  this  as  well  as  in  other  sciences;  he  teils  you  that  he  and  his 
brother  decipherers  varied  in  one  or  two  instances.  He  allows  that 
the  chasms  which  they  were  forced  to  leave  in  those  letters  might 
alter  the  sense  of  them.  And  therefore  1  cannot  but  think  that  an 
accusation,  grounded  on  such  proofs,  is  uncertain  and  precarious 
*  *  *  The  person  who  is  the  decipherer  is  not  to  be  confuted,  and 
what  he  says  must  be  taken  for  granted,  because  the  kev  cannot  be 
produced  with  safety  to  the  public;  and  consequently,  if  his  con- 
jectures be  admitted  as  evidence,  our  lives  and  fortunes  must  depend 
on  the  skill  and  honesty  of  the  decipherers,  who  may  with  safety 
impose  on  the  legislature,  when  there  are  not  means  of  contradicting 
them  for  want  of  seeing  their  key." 

A  large  section  of  the  Whigs  had  separated  from  Walpole  about 
this  time,  and  hence  the  Tories  had  plausible  grounds  for  accusing 
the  minister  of  forging  a  Jacobite  plot  in  order  to  confound  his 
enemies  and  strengthen  himself. 

II  The  failure  of  the  South  Sea  Scheme,  a  little  before  the  discovery 
of  the  plot  had  given  a  serious  shock  to  the  public  credit. 

*  Atterbury,  on  the  accession  of  George  I.,  received  evident  marks 
of  coldness  from  the  new  sovereign;  and  on  the  breaking  out  of  the 
rebellion  in  1715.  he  rather  ostentatiously  exhibited  his  dissatisfaction 
to  the  House  of  Brunswick  by  refusing  to  sign  the  declaration  of  the 
bishops   in   favor  of  the  crown.     He  was  consequently  an  object  of 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  241 

It  is  first  agreed  and  settled  among  them,  what  suspected 
persons  shall  be  accused  of  a  plot;  then,  effectual  care  is 
taken  to  secure  all  their  letters  and  papers,  and  put  the 
owners  in  chains.  These  papers  are  delivered  to  a  set  of 
artists,  very  dexterous  in  finding  out  the  mysterious  mean- 
ings of  words,  syllables,  and  letters. 

"For  instance,  they  can  discover  a  close-stool,  to  signify 
a  privy-council;  a  flock  of  geese,  a  senate;  a  lame  dog.f 
an  invader;  the  plague,  a  standing  army;  a  beetle,  a  prime 

suspicion  long  before  the  plot  was  discovered,  and  when  first  arrested, 
probably  believed  that  Walpole  was  acting'  merely  on  conjecture.  But 
we  now  know,  from  Sir  Luke  Schaah's  correspondence,  that  the  con- 
spiracy was  revealed  to  Walpole  by  the  regent  Duke  of  Orleans,  to 
whom  the  agents  of  the  Pretender  communicated  the  plot  in  the  hope 
of  obtaining-  assistance. 

t  The  whimsical  circumstances  of  a  lame  dog  having  furnished  the 
most  convulsive  proof  against  Atterbury  was  naturally  the  theme  of 
much  ridicule.  '"The  case  was  as  follows:  There  was  no  doubt  that 
certain  intercepted  letters  to  and  from  Jones  and  Illington  were  of  a 
treasonable  nature;  the  point  was  to  prove  that  these  names  were 
designed  for  the  bishop.  Now  it  so  happened  that  Mrs.  Atterbury  ^who 
died  early  this  year,  had  a  little  before  received  a  present  from  Lord 
Mar,  in  France,  of  a  small  spotted  dog,  called  Harlequin;  and  this 
animal  having  broken  its  leg,  being  left  with  one  Mrs.  Barnes  to  be 
cured,  was  more  than  once  mentioned  in  the  correspondence  of  Jones 
and  Illington.  Mrs.  Barnes  and  some  other  persons  were  examined 
before  the  council  on  this  subject,  and  they,  supposing  that  at  all 
events  there  could  be  no  treason  in  a  lapdog,  readiy  owned  that 
Harlequin  was  intended  as  a  present  for  the  Bishop  of  Rochester. 
There  were  many  other  collateral  proofs;  but  it  was  ihe  throwing  up 
of  this  little  straw  which  decided  from  what  quarter  blew  the  wind." — 
Lord  Mahon's  History  of  England,  ii.  56. 

The  incident  is  thus  noticed  in  the  Report  of  the  Committee  of  the 
House  of  Commons.  "Some  letters  have  been  intercepted,  which  there 
is  a  good  reason  to  believe  were  from  the  Bishop  of  Rochester;  and 
one  of  these  letters  being  signed  T.  Jones,  and  another  T.  Illington, 
your  committee  will  now  lay  before  the  House  the  evidence  they  have 
found  of  the  bishop's  being  designated  by  those  two  names,  collected 
from  circumstances,  v/hich  being  in  themselves  seemingly  minute,  and 
of  little  consequence,  were  for  this  reason  more  frankly  confessed  by 
those  who  were  obstinate  in  concealing  stronger  proofs,  and  yet  at 
the  same  time  lead  directly  to  the  discovery  of  the  person  meant  b^^- 
those  names.  Mrs.  Barnes  being  examined  before  a  committee  of 
Lords  of  the  Council,  obstinately  refused  to  make  the  least  discovery 
relating  to  George  Kelly;  but  when  she  came  to  be  asked  what  she 
knew  about  a  dog  sent  over  to  Kelly  from  France,  not  suspecting 
that  this  would  lead  to  any  discovery,  she  readily  owned  that  a 
spotted  little  dog  called  Harlequin,  which  was  brought  from  France, 
and  had  a  leg  broken,  was  left  with  her  by  Mr.  Kelly  to  be  cured; 
that  the  said  dog  was  not  for  her,  but  for  the  Bishop  of  Rochester; 
and  that  Kelly  promised  to  get  the  dog  for  her  from  the  Bishop  of 
Rochester,  in  case  it  did  not  recover  of  its  lamesess.  *  *  *  But  it  ap- 
pears to  your  Committee  by  letters  intercepted  between  Kelly  and 
his  correspondents  in  France,  that  a  dog  so  named  and  hurt  was  sent 
over  to  Kelly  from  France,  to  be  delivered  as  a  present  to  the  person 
denoted  by  the  names  of  Jones  and  Illington." 

Swift  could  not  resist  the  tempting  opportunity  of  engaging  in 
party  warfare  from  which  he  had  now  for  nine  years  held  aloof;  he 
poured  forth  one  of  his  happiest  strains  of  satire  on  "the  horrid  con- 
spiracy" discovered  by  a  French  dog  who  contessed  "as  plain  as 
he  could  bark."  The  poem  is  too  long  for  insertion  here  and  it  ih 
tlierefore  put  in  the  Appendix  to  this  Voyage. 


242  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS, 

minister;  the  gout,  a  high-priest;  a  gibbet,  a  secretary  of 
state;  a  chamber-pot,  a  committee  of  grandees;  a  sieve, 
a  court  lady;  a  broom,  a  revolution;  a  mouse-trap,  an  em- 
ployment; a  bottomless  pit,  a  treasur}^;  a  sink,  a  court;  a 
cap  and  bells,  a  favorite;  a  broken  reed,  a  court  of  justice; 
an  empty  tun,  a  general ;  a  running  sore,  the  administration. 

''When  this  method  fails,  they  have  two  others  more  ef- 
fectual, which  the  learned  among  them  call  acrostics  and 
anagrams.  First,  they  can  decipher  all  initial  letters  into 
political  meanings.  Thus,  N,  shall  signify  a  plot;  B,  a 
regiment  of  horse;  L,  a  fleet  at  sea;  or,  secondly,  by  trans- 
posing the  letters  of  the  alphabet  in  any  suspected  paper, 
they  can  lay  open  the  deepest  designs  of  a  discontented 
party.  So,  for  example,  if  I  should  say  in  a  letter  to  a  friend 
'Our  brother  Tom  has  just  got  the  piles,'  a  skillful  deciph- 
erer would  discover,  that  the  same  letters  which  compose 
that  sentence  may  be  analyzed  into  the  following  words, 

'Resist. a  plot  is  brought  home the  tour.'    And  this 

is  the  anagrammatic  method."* 

The  professor  made  me  great  acknowledgments  for  com- 
municating these  observations,  and  promised  to  make  hon- 
orable mention  of  me  in  his  treatise. 

I  saw  nothing  in  this  country  that  could  invite  me  to  a 
longer  continuance,  and  began  to  think  of  returning  home 
to  England. 

*  This  humorous  burlesque  on  the  Report  of  the  House  of  Commons 
seems  particularly  aimed  at  the  following-  passage:  "From  the  time 
of  George  Kelly's  being  first  taken  up,  the  Bishop  of  Rochester  is 
denoted  by  the  names  Rig  and  Weston,  as  will  appear  from  the 
following  circumstances.  On  the  30th  of  August,  Kelly  writes  to 
Dillon  a  long  letter,  which  contains  the  particulars  of  the  Bishop's 
being  taken  into  custody,  examined,  and  committed.  On  the  14th  ot 
September,  Dillon's  secretary  writes  to  Kelly,  'that  his  letter  on  the 
30th  of  August  came  safe,  and  that  the  particulars  he  gave  of  Mr. 
Rig's  case  were  very  acceptable  to  Mr.  Dillon  whose  concern  for  a 
true  and  worthy  friend  and  relation  cannot  be  doubted,  and  a  longing 
desire  to  know  her  entirely  clear  of  her  distemper.'  *  *  *  In  the 
same  letter  he  desires  to  know  what  is  become  of  Caste.  *  *  *  Tha^ 
Rig  denotes  the  bishop  is  further  confirmed  by  these  particulars. 
Kelly,  in  his  first  letter  after  his  enlargement  writes  word  to  Jerrard, 
'All  I  can  do  now  will  be  to  deliver  to  your  cousin  Rig  any  goods 
that  you  can  send  by  private  hand;  he  is  determined  not  to  receive 
them  in  any  other  way,  and  indeed  I  cannot  say  he  is  in  the  wrong. 
How  far  this  late  affair  may  affect  him  I  cannot  tell.'  Now  since  it 
appears  that  Kelly  was  formerly  employed  in  conveying  letters  to 
and  from  the  bishop  (which  are  often  called  goods  in  the  intercepted 
correspondence),  since  the  bishop  himself  has  desired  in  his  letter  to 
Dillon,  that  no  more  letters  of  consequence  be  entrusted  to  the  post, 
and  since  Kelly's  examination  about  the  dog  could  affect  no  one  but 
the  bishop,  it  may  justly  be  concluded  that  Rig  and  the  bishop  are 
the  same."  *  *  ♦  *  rpj,e  identification  of  Weston  with  the  bishop  is 
made  out  by  a  similar  combination  of  minute  circumstances. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  243 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE  AUTHOR  LEAVES  LAGADO— ARRIVES  AT  MALDON ADA- 
NO  SHIP  READY— HE  TAKES  A  SHORT  VOYAGE  TO  GLUBB- 
DUBDRIB— HIS  RECEPTION  BY  THE  GOVERINOR. 

Laputa  and  its  dependencies  form  part  of  the  continent, 
which  extends  itself,  as  I  have  reason  to  beheve,  eastward, 
to  that  unknown  tract  of  America,  westward  of  California; 
and  north,  to  the  Pacific  Ocean,  which  is  not  above  a  hun- 
dred and  fifty  miles  from  Lagado;  where  there  is  a  good 
port,  and  much  commerce  with  the  great  island  of  Lugg- 
nagg,  situated  to  the  north-west  about  29  degrees  north  lati- 
tude, and  140  longitude.  This  island  of  Luggnagg  stands 
south-eastward  of  Japan,  about  a  hundred  leagues  distant. 
There  is  a  strict  alliance  between  the  Japanese  emperor  and 
the  king  of  Luggnagg,  which  affords  frequent  opportunities 
of  saiHng  from  one  island  to  the  other.  I  determined  there- 
fore to  direct  my  course  this  way,  in  order  to  my  return  to 
Europe.  I  hired  two  mules,  with  a  guide  to  show  me  the 
way,  and  carry  my  small  baggage.  I  took  leave  of  my  noble 
protector,  who  had  shown  me  so  much  favor,  and  made  me 
a  generous  present  at  my  departure. 

My  journey  was  without  any  accident  or  adventure  worth 
relating.  When  I  arrived  at  the  port  of  Maldonada  (for  so  it 
is  called)  there  was  no  ship  in  the  harbor  bound  for  Lugg- 
nagg, nor  likely  to  be  in  some  time.  The  town  is  about  as 
large  as  Portsmouth.  I  soon  fell  into  some  acquaintance, 
and  was  very  hospitably  received.  A  gentleman  of  distinc- 
tion said  to  me,  ''that  since  the  ships  bound  for  Luggnagg 
could  not  be  ready  in  less  than  a  month,  it  might  be  no  dis- 
agreeable amusement  for  me  to  take  a  trip  to  the  little  island 
of  Glubbdubdrib,  about  five  leagues  off  to  the  south-west." 
He  offered  himself  and  a  friend  to  accompany  me,  and  that 
I  should  be  provided  with  a  small  convenient  bark  for  the 
voyage. 

Glubbdubdrib,  as  nearly  as  I  can  interpret  the  word, 
signifies  the  island  of  sorcerers  or  magicians.  It  is  about 
one-third  as  large  as  the  Isle  of  Wight,  and  extremely  fruit- 


244  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

fill;  it  is  governed  by  the  head  of  a  certain  tribe,  who  are  all 
magicians.  This  tribe  marries  only  among  each  other,  and 
the  eldest  in  succession  is  prince  or  governor.  He  has  a 
noble  palace,  and  a  park  of  about  three  thousand  acres,  sur- 
rounded by  a  wall  of  hewn  stone  twenty  feet  high.  In  this 
park  are  several  small  enclosures  for  cattle,  corn  and  gar- 
dening. 

The  governor  and  his  family  are  served  and  attended  by 
domestics  of  a  kind  somewhat  unusual.  By  his  skill  in 
necromancy,  he  has  a  power  of  calling  whom  he  pleases 
from  the  dead,  and  commanding  their  service  for  twenty- 
four  hours,  but  no  longer;  nor  can  he  call  the  same  person 
up  again  in  less  than  three  months,  except  upon  very  extra- 
ordinary occasions. 

When  we  arrived  at  the  island,  which  was  about  eleven 
in  the  morning,  one  of  the  gentlemen  who  accompanied  me 
went  to  the  governor  and  desired  admittance  for  a  stranger, 
who  came  on  purpose  to  have  the  honor  of  attending  on  his 
Highness.  This  was  immediately  granted,  and  we  all  three 
entered  the  gate  of  the  palace  between  two  rows  of  guards, 
armed  and  dressed  after  a  very  antic  manner,  and  something 
in  their  countenances  that  made  my  flesh  creep  with  a  horror 
that  I  cannot  express.  We  passed  through  several  apart- 
ments, between  servants  of  the  same  sort,  ranked  on  each 
side  as  before,  till  we  came  to  the  chamber  of  presence; 
where,  after  three  profound  obeisances  and  a  few  general 
questions,  we  were  permitted  to  sit  on  three  stools,  near  the 
lowest  step  of  his  Highness's  throne.  He  understood  the 
language  of  Balnibarbi,  although  it  were  different  from  that 
of  this  island.  He  desired  me  to  give  him  some  account  of 
my  travels ;  and  to  let  me  see  that  I  should  be  treated  with- 
out ceremony,  he  dismissed  all  his  attendants  with  a  turn  of 
his  finger;  at  which,  to  my  great  astonishment,  they  van- 
ished in  an  instant,  like  visions  in  a  dream  when  we  awake 
on  a  sudden.  I  could  not  recover  myself  in  some  time,  till 
the  governor  assured  me,  "that  I  should  receive  no  hurt:" 
and  observing  my  two  companions  to  be  under  no  concern, 
who  had  been  often  entertained  in  the  same  manner,  I 
began  to  take  courage,  and  related  to  his  Highness  a  short 
history  of  my  several  adventures,  yet  not  without  some  hesi- 
tation, and  frequently  looking  behind  me  to  the  place  where 
I  had  seen  those  domestic  spectres.    T  had  the  honor  to  dine 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  245 

with  the  governor,  where  a  nevv^  set  of  ghosts  served  up  the 
meat,  and  waited  at  table.  I  now  observed  myself  to  be  less 
terrified  than  I  had  been  in  the  morning.  I  stayed  till  sun- 
set, but  humbly  desired  his  Highness  to  excuse  me  for  not 
accepting  his  invitation  of  lodging  in  the  palace.  My  two 
friends  and  I  lay  at  a  private  house  in  the  town  ad- 
joining, which  is  the  capital  of  this  little  island;  and  the 
next  morning  w^e  returned  to  pay  our  duty  to  the  governor, 
as  he  was  pleased  to  command  us. 

After  this  manner  we  continued  in  the  island  for  ten  days, 
most  part  of  every  day  with  the  governor,  and  at  night  in  our 
lodging.  I  soon  grew  so  familiarized  to  the  sight  of 
spirits,  that  after  the  third  or  fourth  time  they  gave  me  no 
emotion  at  all;  or,  if  I  had  any  apprehensions  left,  my  cu- 
riosity prevailed  over  them.  For  his  Highness  the  governor 
ordered  me  ''to  call  up  whatever  persons  I  would  choose  to 
name,  and  in  w^hatever  numbers,  among  all  the  dead  from 
the  beginning  of  the  world  to  the  present  time,  and  com- 
mand them  to  answer  any  questions  I  should  think  fit  to  ask; 
with  this  condition,  that  my  questions  m.ust  be  confined 
within  the  compass  of  the  times  they  lived  in.  And  one 
thing  I  might  depend  upon,  that  they  would  certainly  tell 
me  the  truth,  for  lying  was  a  talent  of  no  use  in  the  lower 
world." 

I  made  my  humble  acknowledgments  to  his  Highness  for 
so  great  a  favor.  We  w^ere  in  a  chamber  from  whence  there 
was  a  fair  prospect  into  the  park.  And  because  my  first 
inclination  was  to  be  entertained  with  scenes  of  pomp  and 
m.agnilicence,  I  desired  to  see  Alexander  the  Great  at  the 
head  of  his  army,  just  after  the  battle  of  Arbela;  which,  upon 
a  motion  of  the  governor's  fmger,  immediately  appeared  in 
a  large  field,  under  the  window  vvdiere  we  stood.  Alexander 
was  called  up  into  the  room ;  it  was  with  great  difficulty  that 
I  understood  his  Greek,*  and  had  but  little  of  my  own.  He 
assured  me  upon  his  honor  "that  he  was  not  poisoned,  but 
died  of  a  bad  fever,  by  excessive  drinking.^f 

*  A  hint  from  Gulliver  that  we  have  lost  the  true  Greek  idiom.— 
Orrery. 

t  In  this  passage  there  is  a  peculiar  beauty,  though  it  is  not  dis- 
covered at  a  hasty  view.  The  apnearance  of  Alexander  with  a 
victorious  army  immediately  after  the  battle  of  Arbela,  produces  only 
a  declaration  that  he  died  by  drunkenness;  thus  inadequate  and 
ridiculous  in  the  eye  of  reason  as  the  ultimate  purpose  for  which 
Alexander  and  his  army  marched  into  a  remote  country,   subverted 


246  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Next,  I  saw  Hannibal  passing  the  Alps,  who  told  me  '1ie 
had  not  a  drop  of  vinegar  in  his  camp."J 

I  saw  Caesar  and  Pompey  at  the  head  of  their  troops,  just 
ready  to  engage.  I  saw  the  former,  in  his  last  great  tri- 
umph. I  desired  that  the  senate  of  Rome  might  appear  be- 
fore me,  in  one  large  chamber^  and  a  modern  representa- 
tive in  counterview,  in  another.  The  first  seemed  to  be  an 
assembly  of  heroes  and  demigods ;  the  other,  a  knot  of  ped- 
lers,  pickpockets,  highwaymen,  and  bullies. 

The  governor,  at  my  request,  gave  the  sign  for  Caesar  and 
Brutus  to  advance  towards  us.  I  w^as  struck  with  a  profound 
veneration  at  the  sight  of  Brutus,  and  could  easily  discover 
the  most  consummate  virtue,  the  greatest  intrepidity  and 
firmness  of  mind,  the  truest  love  of  his  country,  and  general 
benevolence  of  mankind,  in  every  lineament  of  his  counte- 
nance. I  observed,  with  much  pleasure,  that  these  two 
persons  were  in  good  intelligence  with  each  other;  and 
Caesar  freely  confessed  to  me,  ''that  the  greatest  actions  of 
his  life  were  not  equal,  by  many  degrees,  to  the  glory  of 
taking  it  away."  I  had  the  honor  to  have  much  conversa- 
tion with  Brutus;  and  was  told  ''that  his  ancestor,  Junius, 
Socrates,  Epaminondas,  Cato  the  Younger,*  Sir  Thomas 
More,  and  himself,  were  perpetually  together;"  a  sextum- 
virate  to  which  all  the  ages  of  the  world  cannot  add  a  sev- 
enth. 

It  would  be  tedious  to  trouble  the  reader  with  relating 
what  vast  numbers  of  illustrious  persons  were  called  up,  to 
gratify  that  insatiable  desire  I  had  to  see  the  world  in  every 

a  mighty  empire,  and  deluged  a  nation  with  blood;  he  gained  no  more 
i'than  an  epithet  to  his  name,  which,  after  a  few  repetitions,  was  no 
longer  regarded,  even  by  himself.  Thus  the  purpose  of  his  resurrection 
appears  to  be  at  least  equally  important  with  that  of  his  life,  upon 
which  it  is  a  satire  not  more  bitter  than  just.— Haw  kesworth. 

$  Livy,  the  Roman  historian,  has  related  that  Hannibal  burnt  a 
great  pile  of  wood  upon  a  rock  that  stopped  his  passage,  and  when  it 
v/as  thus  heated  poured  vinegar  upon  it,  pay  which  it  v/as  made  so  soft 
as  to  be  easily  cut  through. — Hawkesworth. 

This  story  has  been  generally  doubted  by  modern  writers,  since  it 
was  hardly  possible  that  Hannibal  could  have  had  along  with  his 
army  a  sufficient  quantity  of  vinegar  to  make  the  experiment,  and 
since  it  is  certain,  the  experiment,  if  made,  could  not  have  succeeded 
to  any  useful  extent. 

*  I  am  in  some  doubt  whether  Cato  the  censor  can  fairly  claim  a 
rank  among  so  choice  a  group  of  ghosts.— Orrery.  This  note  of  his 
lordship  is  an  encomium  on  the  judgment  of  our  author,  who  knew 
that  Cato  the  censor  and  Cato  the  younger  were  different  persons,  and 
for  :^ood  reason  preferred  the  latter.— Hawkesworth. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  247 

period  of  antiquity  place  before  me.  I  chiefly  fed  mine  eyes 
with  beholding  the  destroyers  of  tyrants  and  usurpers,  and 
the  restorers  of  liberty  to  oppressed  and  injured  nations. 
But  it  is  impossible  to  express  the  satisfaction  I  received  in 
my  own  mind,  after  such  a  manner,  as  to  make  it  a  suitable 
entePtainment  to  the  reader. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

A   FARTHER  ACCOUNT  OF  GLUBBDUBDRIB  —  ANCIENT  AND 
MODERN  HISTORY  CORRECTED. 

Desirous  to  see  those  ancients  who  were  most  renowned 
for  wit  and  learning,  I  set  apart  one  day  on  purpose.  I  pro- 
posed that  Homer  and  Aristotle  might  appear  at  the  head  of 
all  the  commentators;  but  these  were  so  numerous,  that 
some  hundreds  were  forced  to  attend  in  the  court  and  out- 
ward rooms  of  the  palace.  I  knew,  and  could  distinguish 
those  two  heroes,  at  first  sight,  not  only  from  the  crowd, 
but  from  each  other.  Homer  was  the  taller  and  comelier 
person  of  the  two,  walked  very  erect  for  one  of  his  age,  and 
his  eyes  were  the  most  quick  and  piercing  I  ever  beheld. 
Aristotle  stooped  much,  and  made  use  of  a  staff.  His  visage 
was  meager,  his  hair  lank  and  thin,  and  his  voice  hollow.'^ 
I  soon  discovered  that  both  of  them  were  perfect  strangers 
to  the  rest  of  the  company,  and  had  never  seen  or  heard  of 
them  before:  and  I  had  a  whisper  from  a  ghost  who  shall 
be  nameless,  ''that  these  commentators  always  kept  in  the 
most  distant  quarters  from  their  principals,  in  the  lower 
world,  through  a  consciousness  of  shame  and  guilt,  because 
they  had  so  horribly  misrepresented  the  meaning  of  those 
authors  to  posterity."  I  introduced  Didymus  and  Eusta- 
thius  to  Homer,  and  prevailed  on  him  to  treat  them  better 
than  perhaps  they  deserved,  for  he  soon  found  they  wanted 

*  This  description  of  Aristotle  is  fine,  and  in  a  few  words  represents 
the  true  nature  of  his  works.  By  not  having-  the  immortal  spirit  of 
Horner,  he  was  unable  to  keep  his  body  erect  and  his  staff,  which 
feebly  supported  him,  like  his  commentators,  made  this  defect  more 
conspicuous.  He  wanted  not  some  useful  qualities,  but  these  real 
ornaments  like  his  hair,  were  thin  and  ungraceful. — Orrery.  In  this 
the  noble  commentator  seems  to  be  mistaken,  for  it  cannot  be  believed 
that  Aristotle's  real  ornaments,  however  few,  were  ungraceful.— 
Hawkesworth, 


248  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

a  genius  to  enter  into  the  spirit  of  a  poet.  But  Aristotle  was 
out  of  all  patience  with  the  account  I  gave  him  of  Scotus 
and  Ramus,  as  I  presented  them  to  him ;  and  he  asked  them, 
"whether  the  rest  of  the  tribe  were  as  great  dunces  as  them- 
selves." 

I  then  desired  the  governor  to  call  up  Descartes  and  Gas- 
sendi,  with  whom  I  prevailed  to  explain  their  systems  to 
Aristotle;  This  great  philosopher  freely  acknowledged  his 
own  mistakes  in  natural  philosophy,  because  he  proceeded 
in  many  things  upon  conjecture,  as  all  men  must  do;  and 
he  found  that  Gassendi,  who  had  made  the  doctrine  of  Epi- 
curus as  palatable  as  he  could,  and  vortices  of  Descartes, 
were  equally  to  be  exploded.  He  predicted  the  same  fate 
to  attraction,  whereof  the  present  learned  are  such  zealous 
assertors.f  He  said,  "new  systems  of  nature  were  but  fash- 
ions which  would  vary  in  every  age;  and  even  those  who 
pretend  to  demonstrate  them  from  mathematical  principles, 
would  flourish  but  a  short  period  of  time,  and  be  out  of 
vogue  when  that  was  determined. 

I  spent  five  days  in  conversing  with  many  others  of  the 
ancient  learned.  I  saw  most  of  the  first  Roman  emperors. 
I  prevailed  on  the  governor  to  call  up  Heliogabalus's  cooks 
to  dress  us  a  dinner,  but  they  could  not  show  us  much  of 
their  skill,  for  want  of  materials.  A  helot  of  Agesilaus  made 
us  a  dish  of  Spartan  broth,  but  I  was  not  able  to  get  down 
a  second  spoonful. 

The  two  gentlemen  who  conducted  me  to  the  island,  w^ere 
pressed  by  their  private  affairs  to  return  in  three  days,  which 
I  employed  in  seeing  some  of  the  modern  dead,  who  had 
made  the  greatest  figure  for  two  or  three  hundred  years  past, 
in  our  own  and  other  countries  of  Europe:  and  having  been 
always  a  great  admirer  of  old  illustrious  families,  I  desired 
the  governor  would  call  up  a  dozen  or  two  of  kings,  v\^ith 
tlieir  ancestors  in  order,  for  eight  or  nine  generations.  But 
my  disappointment  was  grievous  and  unexpected.  For,  in- 
stead of  a  long  train  with  royal  diadems,  I  saw  in  one  family 
two  fiddlers,  three  spruce  courtiers,  and  an  Italian  prelate. 
In  another,  a  barber,  an  abbot,  and  two  cardinals.  I  have 
too  great  a  veneration  for  crowned  heads  to  dwell  any  longer 

t  Swift  here  manifestly  shows  his  ignorance  of  Sir  Isaac  Newton's 
philosophy,  which  is  founded  not  on  conjecture,  like  the  theories  of 
Ga?=iendi  and  Descartes,  but  is  a  leg-itimate  induction  from  ascertained 
facts. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  249 

©n  SO  nice  a  subject.  But  as  to  counts,  marquises,  dukes, 
earls,  and  the  like,  I  was  not  so  scrupulous.  And  I  confess 
it  was  not  without  some  pleasure  that  I  found  myself  able  to 
trace  the  particular  features,  by  which  certain  families  are 
distinguished,  up  to  their  originals.  I  could  plainly  discover 
whence  one  family  derives  a  long  chin;  why  a  second  has 
abounded  with  knaves  for  two  generations,  and  fools  for  two 
more;  why  a  third  happened  to  be  crack-brained,  and  a 
fourth  to  be  sharpers ;  whence  it  came,  what  Polydore  Virgil 
says  of  a  certain  great  house,  Ncc  vir  fortis,  nee  faemina 
easta;  how  cruelty,  falsehood,  and  cowardice,  grew  to  be 
characteristics,  by  which  certain  families  are  distinguished  as 
such  by  their  coats  of  arms;  who  first  brought  the  pox  into 
a  noble  house,  which  has  lineally  descended  in  scrofulous 
tumors  to  their  posterity.  Neither  could  I  wonder  at  all 
this  when  I  saw  such  an  interruption  of  lineages,  by  pages, 
lackeys,  valets,  coachmen,  gamesters,  fiddlers  players,  cap- 
tains, and  pick  pockets. 

I  was  chiefly  disgusted  with  modern  history.  For  having 
strictly  examined  all  the  persons  of  greatest  name  in  the 
courts  of  princes  for  a  hundred  years  past,  I  found  how  the 
world  has  been  misled  by  prostitute  writers,  to  ascribe  the 
greatest  exploits  in  war,  to  cowards;  the  wisest  counsel,  to 
fools;  sincerity  to  flatterers;  Roman  virtue,  to  betrayers  of 
their  country;  piety,  to  atheists;  chastity,  to  sodomites, 
truth,  to  informers;  how  many  innocent  and  excellent  per- 
sons had  been  condemned  to  death  or  banishment  by  the 
practicing  of  great  ministers  upon  the  corruption  of  judges, 
and  the  malice  of  factions;  how  many  villains  had  been 
exalted  to  the  highest  places  of  trust,  power,  dignity,  and 
profit ;  how  great  a  share  in  the  motions  and  events  of 
courts,  councils,  and  senates,  might  be  challenged  by  bawds, 
whores,  pimps,  parasites,  and  bufToons.  How  low  an  opin- 
ion I  had  of  human  wisdom  and  integrity  when  I  was  truly 
informed  of  the  springs  and  motives  of  great  enterprises 
and  revolutions  in  the  world,  and  of  the  contemptible  acci- 
dents to  which  they  owed  their  success! 

Here  I  discovered  the  roguery  and  ignorance  of  those  who 
pretend  to  write  anecdotes,  or  secret  history;  who  send  so 
many  kings  to  their  graves  with  a  cup  of  poison;  will  repeat 
the  discourse  between  a  prince  and  a  chief  minister,  where 
no  witness  was  by;    unlock  the  thoughts  and  cabinets  of 


250  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ambassadors  and  secretaries  of  state;  and  have  the  perpetual 
misfortune  to  be  mistaken.  Here  I  discovered  the  true 
causes  of  many  great  events  that  have  surprised  the  world; 
how  a  whore  can  govern  the  back  stairs,  the  back  stairs  a 
council,  and  the  council  a  senate.  A  general  confessed,  in 
my  presence,  ''that  he  got  victory  purely  by  the  force  of 
cowardice  and  ill-conduct;"*  and  an  admiral,  "that  for  want 
of  proper  intelligence,  he  beat  the  enemy,  to  whom  he  in- 
tended to  betray  the  fleet."t  Three  kings  protested  to  me, 
that  in  their  whole  reigns  they  never  did  once  offer  to  any 
person  of  merit,  unless  by  mistake,  or  treachery  of  some 
minister  in  whom  they  confided;  neither  would  they  do  it 
if  they  were  to  live  again;  and  they  showed,  with  great 
strength  of  reason,  ''that  the  royal  throne  could  not  be  sup- 
ported without  corruption,  because  the  positive,  confident, 
restive  temper,  which  virtue  infused  into  a  man,  was  a  per- 
petual clog  to  public  business.''^ 

I  had  the  curiosity  to  inquire  in  a  particular  manner,  by 
what  method  great  numbers  had  procured  to  themselves 
high  titles  of  honor,  and  prodigious  estates;  and  I  confined 
my  inquiry  to  a  very  modern  period;  however,  without  grat- 
ing upon  present  times  because  I  would  be  sure  to  give  no 
offense  even  to  foreigners ;  for  I  hope  the  reader  need  not  be 
told,  that  I  do  not  in  the  least  intend  my  own  country,  in 
what  I  say  upon  this  occasion.  A  great  number  of  persons 
concerned  were  called  up;  and,  upon  a  very  slight  examina- 
tion, discovered  such  a  scene  of  infamy,  that  I  cannot  reflect 
upon  it  without  some  seriousness.  Perjury,  oppression,  sub- 
ordination, fraud,  panderism,  and  the  like  infirmities,  were 
among  the  most  excusable  arts  they  had  to  mention;  and 
for  these  I  gave,  as  it  was  reasonable,  great  allowance.  But 
when  some  confessed  they  owed  their  greatness  and  wealth 
to  sodomy,  or  incest;  others  to  the  prostituting  of  their  own 
wives  and  daughters ;  others  to  the  betraying  of  their  coun- 

*  The  battle  of  Angheim  was  won  by  the  accidental  death  of  Lieu- 
tenant Keith,  just  as  he  was  about  to  take  advantage  of  the  blunders 
of  the  English  commanders. 

t  Sir  Walter  Scott,  with  great  probability,  conjectures  that  the 
insinuation  is  directed  against  Admiral  Russell,  whose  loyalty  to 
William  III.,  even  when  he  won  the  naval  victory  at  La  Hogue,  was 
very  suspicious. 

t  Charles  II.,  James  II.,  William  III.,  for  whose  memory  Swift 
entertained  no  great  reverence. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  251 

try  or  their  prince;  some  to  poisoning;  more,  to  the  pre- 
venting of  justice,  in  order  to  destroy  the  innocent;  I  hope 
I  may  be  pardoned,  if  these  discoveries  incHned  me  a  Httle 
to  abate  of  that  profound  veneration  which  I  am  naturally 
apt  to  pay  persons  of  high  rank,  who  ought  to  be  treated 
with  the  utmost  respect  due  to  their  sublime  dignity,  by  us 
their  inferiors. 

I  had  often  read  of  some  great  services  done  to  princes 
and  states^  and  desire  to  see  the  persons  by  whom  those 
services  were  performed.  Upon  inquiry,  I  was  told,  ''that 
their  names  were  to  be  found  on  no  record,  except  a  few  of 
them,  whom  history  has  represented  as  the  vilest  of  rogues 
and  traitors."  As  to  the  rest,  I  had  never  once  heard  of 
them.  They  all  appeared  with  dejected  looks  and  in  the 
meanest  habit;  most  of  them  telling  me,  "they  died  in  pov- 
erty and  disgrace,"  and  the  rest  on  a  scaffold  and  gibbet. 

Among  others,  there  was  one  person  whose  case  ap- 
peared a  little  singular.  He  had  a  youth  about  eighteen 
years  old  standing  by  his  side.  He  told  me  ''he  had  for 
many  years  been  commander  of  a  ship;  and  in  the  sea-fight 
at  Actium  had  the  good  fortune  to  break  through  the 
enemy's  great  line  of  battle,  sink  three  of  their  capital  ships, 
and  take  a  fourth,  which  was  the  sole  cause  of  Antony's 
flight,  and  of  the  victory  that  ensued;  that  the  youth  stand- 
ing by  him,  his  only  son,  was  killed  in  the  action."  He 
added,  "that  upon  the  confidence  of  some  merit,  the  war 
being  at  an  end,  he  went  to  Rome,  and  solicited  at  the  court 
of  Augustus  to  be  preferred  to  a  greater  ship,  whose  com- 
mander had  been  killed;  but  without  any  regard  to  his  pre- 
tensions, it  was  given  to  a  boy  who  had  never  seen  the  sea, 
the  son  of  Libertina,  who  waited  on  one  of  the  emperor's 
mistresses.  Returning  back  to  his  own  vessel  he  was 
charged  with  neglect  of  duty,  and  the  ship  given  to  a  favor- 
ite page  of  Publicola,  the  vice-admiral;  whereupon  he  re- 
tired to  a  poor  farm  at  a  great  distance  from  Rome,  and 
there  ended  his  life."  I  was  so  curious  to  know  the  truth 
of  this  story,  that  I  desired  Agrippa  might  be  called,  who 
^yas  admiral  in  the  fight.  He  appeared,  and  confirmed  the 
whole  account;  but  with  much  more  advantage  to  the  cap- 
tain, whose  modesty  had  extenuated  or  concealed  a  great 
part  of  his  merit. 

I  was  surprised  to  find  corruption  grown  so  high  and  so 


252  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

quick  in  that  empire,  by  the  force  of  luxury  so  lately  intro- 
duced; which  made  me  less  wonder  at  many  parallel  cases 
in  other  countries,  where  vices  of  all  kinds  have  reigned  so 
much  longer,  and  where  the  whole  praise,  as  well  as  pillage, 
has  been  engrossed  by  the  chief  commander,  who  perhaps 
had  the  least  title  to  either. 

As  every  person  called  up  made  exactly  the  same  ap- 
pearance he  had  done  in  the  world,  it  gave  me  melancholy 
reflections  to  observe  how  much  the  race  of  human  kind  v/as 
degenerated  among  us,  within  these  hundred  years  past; 
how  the  pox,  under  all  its  consequences  and  denominations, 
had  altered  every  lineament  of  an  English  countenance; 
shortened  the  size  of  bodies,  unbraced  the  nerves,  relaxed 
the  sinews  and  muscles,  introduced  a  sallow  complexion, 
and  rendered  the  flesh  loose  and  rancid. 

I  descended  so  low,  as  to  desire  some  English  yeomen  of 
the  old  stamp  might  be  summoned  to  appear;  once  so 
famous  for  the  simplicity  of  their  manners,  diet,  and  dress; 
for  justice  in  their  dealings;  for  their  true  spirit  of  liberty; 
for  their  valor,  and  love  of  their  country.  Neither  could  I 
be  wholly  unmoved,  after  comparing  the  living  with  the 
dead,  when  I  considered  how  all  these  pure  native  virtues 
were  prostituted  for  a  piece  of  money  by  their  grandchil- 
dren ;  who,  in  selling  their  votes  and  managing  at  elections, 
have  acquired  every  vice  and  corruption  that  can  possibly 
be  learned  in  a  court.* 


CHAPTER  IX. 


THE  AUTHOR  RETURNS  TO  MALDONADA-SAILS  TO  THE 
KINGDOM  OF  LUGGNAGG— THE  AUTHOR  CONFINED— HE  TS 
SENT  FOR  TO  COURT— THE  MANNER  OF  HIS  ADMITTANCE 
—THE  KING'S  GREAT  LENITY  TO  HIS  SUBJECTS. 

Leave  of  his  Highness  the  governor  of  Glubbdubdrib, 
having  been  obtained,  I  returned  with  my  two  companions 
to  Maldonada,  where,  after  a  fortnight's  waiting,  a  ship  was 
ready  to  sail  for  Luggnagg.  The  two  gentlemen,  and 
some  others,  were  so  generous  and  kind  as  to  furnish  me 

*  Few  persons  can  read  this  chapter  without  feeling-  that  it  i? 
a  complete  failure;  "there  needed  no  ghost  to  tell  us"  any  of  the 
stories  for  which  the  spirits  were  evoked. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  253 

with  provisions,  and  see  me  on  board.  I  was  a  month  in 
this  voyage.  We  had  one  violent  storm,  and  were  under  a 
necessity  of  steering  westward  to  get  into  the  trade  wind, 
which  holds  for  above  sixty  leagues.  On  the  2ist  of  April, 
1768,  we  sailed  into  the  river  of  Clumegnig,  which  is  a  sea- 
port town,  at  the  south-east  point  of  Luggnagg.  We  cast 
anchor  within  a  league  of  the  town,  and  made  a  signal  for  a 
pilot.  Two  of  them  came  on  board  in  less  than  half  an  hour, 
by  whom  we  were  guided  betwee-n  certain  shoals  and  rocks, 
which  are  very  dangerous  in  the  passage,  to  a  large  basin, 
where  a  fleet  may  ride  in  safety  within  a  cable's  length  of 
the  town  wall. 

Some  of  our  sailors,  whether  out  of  treachery  or  inadver- 
tence, had  informed  the  pilots  "that  I  was  a  stranger,  and  a 
great  traveler;"  whereof  these  gave  notice  to  a  custom- 
house officer,  by  whom  I  was  examined  very  strictly  upon 
my  landing.  This  officer  spoke  to  me  in  the  language  of 
Balnibarbi,  which  by  the  force  of  much  commerce,  is  gen- 
erally understood  in  that  town,  especially  by  seamen  and 
those  employed  in  the  customs.  I  gave  him  a  short  account 
of  some  particulars,  and  made  my  story  as  plausible  and 
consistent  as  I  could;  but  I  thought  it  necessary  to  disguise 
my  country,  and  call  myself  a  Hollander;  because  my  inten- 
tions were  for  Japan,  and  I  knew  the  Dutch  were  the  only 
Europeans  permitted  to  enter  into  that  kingdom.  I  there- 
fore told  the  officer,  "that  having  been  ship-wrecked  on  the 
coast  of  Balnibarbi,  and  cast  on  a  rock,  I  was  received  up 
into  Laputa,  or  the  flying  island  (of  which  he  had  often 
heard),  and  was  now  endeavoring  to  get  to  Japan,  whence 
I  might  find  a  convenience  of  returning  to  my  own  country." 
The  officer  said,  "I  must  be  confined  till  he  could  receive  or- 
ders from  court,  for  which  he  would  write  immediately, 
and  hoped  to  receive  an  answer  in  a  fortnight."  I  was  car- 
ried to  a  convenient  lodging,  with  a  sentry  placed  at  the 
door;  however  I  had  the  liberty  of  a  large  garden,  and  was 
treated  with  humanity  enough,  being  maintained  all  the 
time  at  the  king's  charge.  I  was  visited  by  several  persons, 
chiefly  out  of  curiosity;  because  it  was  reported  that  I  came 
from  countries  very  remote,  of  which  they  had  never  heard. 

I  hired  a  young  man  who  came  in  the  same  ship,  to  be  an 
interpreter:  he  was  a  native  of  Luggnagg,  but  had  lived 
some  years  at  Maldonada,  and  was  a  perfect  master  of  both 


254  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

languages.  By  his  assistance^  I  was  able  to  hold  a  conver- 
sation with  those  who  came  to  visit  me;  but  this  consisted 
only  of  their  questions  and  my  answers. 

The  dispatch  came  from  court  about  the  time  we  expect- 
ed. It  contained  a  warrant  for  conducting  me  and  my  reti- 
nue to  Traldragdubh,  or  Trildrogdrib  (for  it  is  pronounced 
both  ways  as  near  as  I  can  remember),  by  a  party  of  ten 
horse.  All  my  retinue  was  that  poor  lad  for  an  interpreter, 
whom  I  persuaded  into  my  service,  and  at  my  humble  re- 
quest, we  had  each  of  us  a  mule  to  ride  on.  A  messenger 
was  dispatched  half  a  day's  journey  bef9re  us,  to  give  the 
king  notice  of  my  approach;  and  to  desire,  "that  his  maj- 
esty would  please  to  appoint  a  day  and  hour,  when  it  would 
be  his  gracious  pleasure  that  I  might  have  the  honor  to  lick 
the  dust  before  his  footstool."  This  is  the  court  style,  and 
I  found  it  to  be  more  than  matter  of  form:  for,  upon  my 
admittance  two  days  after  my  arrival,  I  was  commanded  to 
crawl  upon  my  belly,  and  lick  the  floor  as  I  advanced;  but 
on  account  of  my  being  a  stranger,  care  was  taken  to  have 
it  made  so  clean,  that  the  dust  was  not  offensive.  However, 
this  was  a  peculiar  grace,  not  allowed  to  any  but  persons 
of  the  highest  rank,  when  they  desire  an  admittance.  Nay, 
sometimes  the  floor  is  strewed  with  dust  on  purpose,  when 
the  person  to  be  admitted  happens  to  have  powerful  ene- 
mies at  court;  and, I  have  seen  a  great  lord  with  his  mouth 
so  crammed,  that  when  he  had  crept  to  the  proper  distance 
from  the  throne,  he  was  not  able  to  speak  a  word.  Neither 
is  there  any  remedy;  because  it  is  capital  for  those  who  re- 
ceive an  audience  to  spit  or  wipe  their  mouths  in  his  maj- 
esty's presence.  There  is  indeed  another  custom,  which  I 
cannot  altogether  approve  of:  when  the  king  has  a  mind  to 
put  any  of  his  nobles  to  death  in  a  gentle  indulgent  manner, 
he  commands  the  floor  to  be  strewed  with  a  certain  brown 
powder  of  a  deadly  composition,  which,  being  licked  up, 
infallibly  kills  him  in  twenty-four  hours.  But  in  justice  to  this 
prince's  great  clemency,  and  the  care  he  has  of  his  subjects' 
lives  (wherein  it  were  much  to  be  wished  that  the  monarchs 
of  Europe  would  imitate  him),  it  must  be  mentioned  for  his 
honor,  that  strict  orders  are  given  to  have  the  infected  parts 
of  the  floor  well  washed  after  every  such  execution,  which, 
if  his  domestics  neglect,  they  are  in  danger  of  incurring  his 
royal  displeasure.    I  myself  heard  him  give  directions,  that 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  255 

one  of  his  pages  should  be  whipped,  whose  turn  it  was  to 
give  notice  about  washing  the  floor  after  an  execution,  but 
mahciously  had  omitted  it;  by  which  neglect  a  young  lord  of 
great  hopes,  coming  to  an  audience,  was  unfortunately  poi- 
soned, although  the  king  at  that  time  had  no  design  against 
his  life.  But  this  good  prince  was  so  gracious  as  to  forgive 
the  poor  page  his  whipping,  upon  promise  that  he  w^ould  do 
so  no  more,  without  special  orders.''' 

To  return  from  this  digression:  when  I  had  crept  within 
four  yards  of  the  throne,  I  raised  myself  gently  upon  my 
knees,  and  then  striking  my  forehead  seven  times  against 
the  ground,  pronounced  the  following  words,  as  they  had 
been  taught  me  the  night  before — Inckpling  gloffthrobh 
spuut  serufnm  blhiop  mlashnalt  zwin  tnodbalkuff  hslhiop- 
had  gU7'dlubh  asht.  This  is  the  compliment  established  by 
the  laws  of  the  land,  for  all  persons  admitted  to  the  king's 
presence.  It  may  be  rendered  into  English  thus!  "May 
your  celestial  majesty  outlive  the  sun  eleven  moons  and  a 
half!"  To  this  the  king  returned  some  answer,  which,  al- 
though I  could  not  understand,  yet  I  replied  as  I  had  been 
directed:  Flute  drin  yalerick  dwuldom  prastrad  mirpush, 
which,  properly  signifies,  "My  tongue  is  in  the  mouth  of  my 
friend;"  and  by  this  expression  was  meant  that  I  desired 
leave  to  bring  my  interpreter:  whereupon  the  young  man, 
already  mentioned,  was  accordingly  introduced:  by  whose 
intervention  I  answered  as  many  questions  as  his  majesty 
could  put  in  above  an  hour.  I  spoke  in  the  Balnibarbian 
tongue,  and  my  interpreter  delivered  my  meaning  in  that  of 
Luggnagg. 

The  king  was  much  delighted  with  my  company,  and  or- 
dered his  bliffmarklub,  or  high  chamberlain,  to  appoint  a 
lodging  in  the  court  for  me  and  my  interpreter :  with  a  daily 
allowance  for  my  table,  and  a  large  purse  of  gold  for  my 
common  expenses. 

I  stayed  three  months  in  this  country,  out  of  perfect  obe- 
dience to  his  majesty;  who  was  pleased  highly  to  favor  me, 
and  made  me  very  honorable  offers.  But  I  thought  it  more 
consistent  with  prudence  and  justice  to  pass  the  remainder 
of  my  days  with  my  wife  and  family. 

*  George  I.  was  very  anxious  to  restore  the  Earl  of  Clancarty  to  his 
title  and  estates,  believing  that  the  attainder  of  the  family  by  tht 
Irish  Parliament  was  unjust;  but  the  party  of  the  ascendency  in 
Ireland  refused  to  reverse  the  forfeiture,  and  the  King,  after  a  slight 
show  of  anger,  w^as  forced  to  acquiesce  in  the  continued  injustice. 


556  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


CHAPTER   X. 

THE  LUGGNAGGIANS  COMMENDED-A  PARTICULAR  DESCRIP- 
TION OP  THE  STRULDBRUGS.  WITH  MANY  CONVERSA- 
TIONS BETWEEN  THE  AUTHOR  AND  SOME  EMINENT 
PERSONS  UPON  THAT  SUBJECT. 

Luggnaggians  are  polite  and  generous;  and  although 
they  are  not  v/ithout  sorne  share  of  that  pride  which  is  pe- 
culiar to  all  Eastern  countries,  yet  they  show  themselves 
courteous  to  strangers,  especially  such  who  are  counten- 
anced by  the  court.  I  had  many  acquaintance,  and  among 
persons  of  the  best  fashion;  and  being  always  attended  by 
my  interpreter,  the  conversation  we  had  was  not  disagree- 
able. 

One  day,  in  much  good  company,  I  was  asked  by  a  per- 
son of  quality,  'V/hether  I  had  seen  any  of  their  struldbrugs, 
or  immortals?"  I  said,  ''I  had  not;"  and  desired  he  would 
explain  to  me  what  he  meant  by  such  an  appellation,  ap- 
plied to  a  mortal  creature.  He  told  me  "that  sometimes, 
though  very  rarely,  a  child  happened  to  be  born  in  a  family, 
with  a  red  circular  spot  in  his  forehead,  directly  over  the  left 
eyebrow,  which  was  an  infallible  mark  that  it  should  never 
die.  The  spot,"  as  he  described  it,  ''was  about  the  compass 
of  a  silver  threepence,  but  in  the  course  of  time  grew  larger, 
and  changed  its  color;  for  at  twelve  years  old  it  became 
green,  so  continued  till  five-and-tv/enty,  then  turned  to  a 
deep  blue;  at  five-and-forty  it  grew  coal-black,  and  as  large 
as  an  English  shilling;  but  never  admitted  any  farther  al- 
teration." He  said,  "these  births  were  so  rare,  that  he  did 
not  believe  there  could  be  above  eleven  hundred  struld- 
brugs, of  both  sexes,  in  the  whole  kingdom ;  of  which  he 
computed  about  fifty  in  the  metropolis,  and  among  the  rest, 
a  young  girl  born  about  three  years  ago;  that  these  produc- 
tions were  not  peculiar  to  any  family,  but  a  m.ere  effect  of 
chance;  and  the  children  of  the  struldbrugs^  themselves 
were  equally  mortal  with  the  rest  of  the  people." 

I  freely  own  myself  to  have  been  struck  with  inexpressible 
delight  upon  hearing  this  account;  and  the  person  who 
gave  it  me  happening  to  understand  the  Balnibarbian  Ian- 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  257 

guage,  which  I  spoke  very  well,  I  could  not  forbear  break- 
ing out  into  expressions  perhaps  a  little  too  extravagant.  I 
cried  out,  as  in  a  rapture,  ''Happy  nation,  where  every  child 
has  at  least  a  chance  for  being  immortal!  Happy  people, 
who  enjoy  so  many  living  examples  of  ancient  virtue,  and 
have  masters  ready  to  instruct  them  in  the  wisdom  of  all 
former  ages!  but  happiest^  beyond  all  comparison,  are  those 
excellent  struldbrugs,  who,  being  born  exempt  from  that 
universal  calamity  of  human  nature,  have  their  minds  free 
and  disengaged  without  the  weight  and  depression  of  spir- 
its caused  by  the  continual  apprehension  of  death."  I  dis- 
covered my  admiration,  ''that  I  had  not  observed  any  of 
these  illustrious  persons  at  court;  the  black  spot  on  the 
forehead  being  so  remarkable  a  distinction,  that  I  could  not 
have  easily  overlooked  it;  and  it  was  impossible  that  his 
majesty,  a  most  judicious  prince,  should  not  provide  himself 
with  a  good  number  of  such  wise  and  able  counsellors.  Per- 
haps the  virtue  of  those  reverend  sages  was  too  strict  for 
the  corrupt  and  libertine  manners  of  a  court;  and  we  often 
find  by  experience,  that  young  men  are  too  opinionated  and 
volatile  to  be  guided  by  the  sober  dictates  of  their  seniors. 
However,  since  the  king  was  pleased  to  allow  me  access  to 
his  royal  person,  I  was  resolved  upon  the  first  occasion,  to 
deliver  my  opinion  to  him  on  this  matter  freely  and  at  large, 
by  the  help  of  my  interpreter;  and  whether  he  would  please 
to  take  my  advice  or  not,  yet  in  one  thing  I  was  determined, 
that  his  majesty  having  frequently  offered  me  an  establish- 
ment in  this  country,  I  would,  with  great  thankfulness  ac- 
cept the  favor,  and  pass  my  life  here  in  the  conversation  of 
those  superior  beings  the  struldbrugs,  if  they  would  please 
to  admit  me." 

The  gentleman  to  whom  I  addressed  my  discourse,  be- 
cause (as  I  have  already  observed)  he  spoke  the  language  of 
Balnibarbi,  said  to  me  with  a  sort  of  smile  which  usually 
arises  from  pity  to  the  ignorant,  "that  he  was  glad  of  any 
occasion  to  keep  me  among  them,  and  desired  my  permis- 
sion to  explain  to  the  company  what  I  had  spoke."  He  did 
so,  and  they  talked  together  for  some  time  in  their  own 
language,  whereof  I  understood  not  a  syllable,  neither  could 
I  observe  by  their  countenances,  what  impression  my  dis- 
course had  made  on  them.  After  a  short  silence,  the  same 
person  told  me,  "that  his  friends  and  mine  (so -he  thought 
X7 


25S  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

fit  to  express  himself)  were  very  much  pleased  with  the  judi- 
cious remarks  I  had  made  on  the  great  happiness  and  ad- 
vantages of  immortal  life,  and  they  were  desirous  to  know, 
in  a  particular  manner,  what  scheme  of  living  I  should  have 
formed  to  myself,  if  it  had  fallen  to  my  lot  to  have  been  born 
a  struldbrug?" 

I  answered,  "that  it  was  easy  to  be  eloquent  on  so  copious 
and  delightful  a  subject,  especially  to  me,  who  had  been 
often  apt  to  amuse  myself  with  visions  of  what  I  should  do, 
if  I  were  a  king,  a  general,  or  a  great  lord;  and  upon  this 
very  case,  I  had  frequently  run  over  the  whole  system  how 
I  should  employ  myself,  and  pass  the  time,  if  I  were  sure  to 
live  forever. 

"That,  if  it  had  been  my  good  fortune  to  come  into  the 
world  a  struldbrug,  as  soon  as  I  could  discover  my  own  hap- 
piness, by  understanding  the  difference  between  life  and 
death,  I  would  first  resolve,  by  all  arts  and  methods  whatso- 
ever, to  procure  myself  riches;  in  the  pursuit  of  which,  by 
thrift  and  management,  I  might  reasonably  expect,  in  about 
two  hundred  years,  to  be  the  wealthiest  man  in  the  king- 
dom. In  the  second  place,  I  would,  from  my  earliest  youth, 
apply  myself  to  the  study  of  arts  and  sciences,  by  which  I 
should  arrive  in  time  to  excel  all  others  in  learning.  Lastly, 
I  would  carefully  record  every  action  and  event  of  conse- 
quence, that  happened  in  the  public,  impartially  draw  the 
characters  of  the  several  successions  of  princes  and  great 
ministers  of  state,  with  my  own  observations  on  every  point. 
I  would  exactly  set  down  the  several  changes  in  customs, 
language,  fashions  of  dress,  diet,  and  diversions,  by  which 
acquirement,  I  should  be  a  living  treasure  of  knowledge 
and  wisdom,  and  certainly  become  the  oracle  of  the  nation. 

"I  would  never  marry  after  threescore,  but  live  in  a  hos- 
pitable manner,  yet  still  on  the  saying  side.  I  would  enter- 
tain myself  in  forming  and  directing  the  minds  of  hopeful 
young  men,  by  convincing  them,  from  my  own  remem- 
brance, experience  and  observation,  fortified  by  numerous 
examples,  of  the  usefulness  of  virtue  in  public  and  private 
life.  But  my  choice  and  constant  companions  should  be  a 
set  of  my  own  immortal  brotherhood;  among  whom  I 
would  elect  a  dozen  from  the  most  ancient,  down  to  my  own 
contemporaries.  When  any  of  these  wanted  fortunes  I 
would  provide  them  with  convenient  lodges  around  my  es- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  259 

tate,  and  have  some  of  them  always  at  my  table;  only  ming- 
ling a  few  of  the  most  valuable  among  you  mortals,  whom 
length  of  time  would  harden  me  to  lose  with  little  or  no 
reluctance,  and  entreat  your  posterity  after  the  same  man- 
ner; just  as  a  man  diverts  himself  with  the  annual  succes- 
sion of  pinks  and  tulips  in  his  garden,  without  regarding 
the  loss  of  those  which  withered  the  preceding  year. 

'These  struldbrugs,  and  I,  would  mutually  communicate 
our  observations  and  memorials,  through  the  course  of 
time;  remark  the  several  gradations  by  which  corruption 
steals  into  the  world,  and  oppose  it  in  every  step,  by  giving 
perpetual  warning  and  instruction  to  mankind;  which,  add- 
ed to  the  strong  influence  of  our  own  example,  would  prob- 
ably prevent  that  continual  degeneracy  of  human  nature, 
so  unjustly  complained  of  in  all  ages. 

"Add  to  this,  the  pleasure  of  seeing  the  various  revolu- 
tions of  states  and  empires;  the  changes  in  the  lower  and 
upper  world;  ancient  cities  in  ruins,  and  obscure  villages 
become  the  seats  of  kings;  famous  rivers  lessening  into  shal- 
low brooks;  the  ocean  leaving  one  coast  dry,  and  over- 
whelming another;  the  discovery  of  many  countries  yet  un- 
known; of  barbarity  overrunning  the  politest  nations,  and 
the  most  barbarous  become  civilized.  I  should  then  see  the 
discovery  of  the  longitude,  the  perpetual  motion,  the  uni- 
versal medicine,  and  many  other  great  inventions,  brought 
to  the  utmost  perfection. 

'What  wonderful  discoveries  should  we  make  in  astron- 
omy, by  outliving  and  confirming  our  own  predictions;  by 
observing  the  progress  and  returns  of  comets,  with  the 
changes  of  motion  in  the  sun,  moon  and  stars!'' 

I  enlarged  upon  many  other  topics,  which  the  natural  de- 
sire of  endless  life,  and  sublunary  happiness,  could  easily 
furnish  me  with.  When  I  had  ended,  ,and  the  sum  of  my 
discourse  had  been  interpreted,  as  before,  to  the  rest  of  the 
company,  there  was  a  good  deal  of  talk  among  them  in  the 
language  of  the  country,  not  without  some  laughter  at  my 
expense.  At  last,  the  same  gentleman  who  had  been  my 
interpreter,  said,  "he  was  desired  by  the  rest  to  set  me  right 
in  a  few  mistakes,  which  I  had  fallen  into  through  the  com- 
mon imbecility  of  human  nature,  and  upon  that  allowance 
was  less  answerable  for  them.  That  this  breed  of  struldbrugs 
was  peculiar  to  their  country,  for  there  wdre  no  such  people 


260  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

either  in  Balnibarbi  or  Japan,  where  he  had  the  honor  to 
be  ambassador  from  his  majesty,  and  found  the  natives  in 
both  those  kingdoms  very  hard  to  beheve  that  the  fact  was 
possible:  and  it  appeared  from  my  astonishment  when  he 
first  mentioned  the  matter  to  me,  that  I  received  it  as  a  thing 
wholly  new,  and  scarcely  to  be  credited.  That  in  the  two 
kingdoms  above  mentioned,  where  during  his  residence  he 
had  conversed  very  much,  he  observed  long  life  to  be  the 
universal  desire  and  wish  of  mankind.  That  whoever  had 
one  foot  in  the  grave  was  sure  to  hold  back  the  other  as 
strongly  as  he  could.  That  the  oldest  had  still  hopes  of 
living  one  day  longer,  and  looked  on  death  as  the  greatest 
evil,  from  which  nature  always  prompted  him  to  retreat. 
Only  in  this  island  of  Luggnagg  the  appetite  for  living  was 
not  so  eager,  from  the  continual  example  of  the  struldbrugs 
before  their  eyes. 

'That  the  system  of  living  contrived  by  me,  was  unrea- 
sonable and  unjust;  because  it  supposed  a  perpetuity  of 
youth,  health,  and  vigor,  which  no  man  could  be  so  foolish 
to  hope,  however  extravagant  he  may  be  in  his  wishes.'^ 
That  the  question  therefore  w^as  not,  whether  a  man  would 
choose  to  be  always  in  the  prime  of  youth,  attended  with 
prosperity  and  health;  but  how  he  would  pass  a  perpetual 
life  under  all  the  usual  disadvantages  which  old  age  brings 
along  with  it;  for  although  few  men  will  avow  their  desires 
of  being  immortal,  upon  such  hard  conditions,  yet  in  the  two 
kingdoms  before  mentioned,  of  Balnibarbi  and  Japan,  he 
observed  that  every  man  desired  to  put  ofif  death  some  time 
longer,  let  it  approach  ever  so  late;  and  he  rarely  heard  of 
any  man  who  died  willingly,  except  he  were  incited  by  the 
extremity  of  grief  or  torture.  And  he  appealed  to  me, 
whether  in  those  countries  I  had  traveled,  as  well  as  my  own, 
I  had  not  observed  the  same  general  disposition.""!" 

*  To  this  it  may  possibly  be  objected,  that  the  perpetuity  of  youtn, 
health  and  vigor,  would  be  less  a  prodigy  than  the  perpetuity  of  life 
in  a  body  subject  to  gradual  decay,  and  might  therefore  be  hoped 
without  greater  extravagance  of  folly;  but  the  sentiment  here  ex- 
pressed is  that  of  a  being  to  whom  immortality,  though  not  perpetual 
youth,  was  familiar,  and  in  whom  the  wish  of  perpetual  youth  only 
would  have  been  extravagant  because  that  only  appeared  from  facts 
to  be  impossible.— Hawkesworth. 

t  If  it  be  said  that  although  the  folly  of  desiring  life  to  be  prolonged 
under  the  disadvantages  of  old  age,  is  here  finely  exposed;  yet  the 
desire  of  terrestrial  immortality,  upon  terms  on  which  alone  in  the 
nature  of  things  it  is  possible,   an  exemption  from  disease,  accident 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  261 

After  this  preface,  he  gave  me  a  particular  account  of  the 
struldbrugs  among  them.  He  said  ''they  commonly  acted 
like  mortals  till  about  thirty  years  old;  after  which,  by  de- 
grees, they  grew  melancholy  and  dejected,  increasing  in 
both  till  they  came  to  fourscore.  This  he  learned  from  their 
own  confession;  for  otherwise,  there  not  being  above  two 
or  three  of  that  species  born  in  an  age,  they  were  too  few  to 
form  a  general  observation  by.  When  they  came  to  four- 
score years,  which  is  reckoned  the  extremity  of  living  in 
this  country,  they  had  not  only  all  the  follies  and  infirmities 
of  other  old  men,  but  many  more,  which  arose  from  the 
dreadful  prospect  of  never  dying.  They  were  not  only  opin- 
ionative,  peevish,  covetous,  morose,  vain,  talkative;  but  in- 
capable of  friendship,  and  dead  to  all  natural  affection,  which 
never  descended  below  their  grandchildren.  Envy,  and  im- 
potent desires,  are  their  prevailing  passions.  But  those 
objects  against  which  their  envy  seems  principally  directed, 
are  the  vices  of  the  younger  sort,  and  the  deaths  of  the  old. 
By  reflecting  on  the  former,  they  find  themselves  cut  off 
from  all  possibility  of  pleasure ;  whenever  they  see  a  funeral 
they  lament  and  repine  that  others  have  gone  to  a  harbor  of 
rest,  to  which  they  themselves  never  can  hope  to  arrive. 
They  have  no  remembrance  of  anything  but  what  they 
learned  and  observed  in  their  youth  and  middle  age,  and 
even  that  is  very  imperfect;  and  for  the  truth  or  particulars 
of  any  fact  it  is  safer  to  depend  on  common  tradition,  than 
upon  the  best  recollections.  The  least  miserable  among 
them  appear  to  be  those  who  turn  to  dotage,  and  entirely 
lose  their  memories;  these  meet  with  more  pity  and  assist- 
ance, because  they  want  many  bad  qualities  which  abound 
in  others.* 

'Tf  a  struldbrug  happen  to  marry  one  of  his  own  kind, 

and  decay,  is  taciUy  allowed;  it  may  be  answered,  that  as  we  grow 
old  by  imperceptible  degrees,  so  for  the  most  part  we  grow  old  without 
repining;  and  every  man  is  ready  to  profess  himself  willmg  to  die, 
when  he  shall  be  overtaken  by  the  decrepitude  of  age  in  some  future 
period;  yet  when  every  other  eye  sees  that  this  period  is  arrived,  he 
is  still  tenacious  of  life,  and  murmurs  at  the  condition  upon  which 
he  received  his  existence.  To  reconcile  old  age  therefore  to  the 
thoughts  of  a  dissolution,  appears  to  be  all  that  was  necessary  in  a 
moral  writer  for  practical  purposes.— Hawkesworth. 

*  In  this  melancholy  picture.  Swift  shadows  forth  the  presentiment 
of  his  own  helpless  old  age,  by  which  he  was  continually  haunted; 
the  effect  of  this  description  of  the  struldbrugs  is  very  saddening,  and 
could  only  have  been  written  by  a  person  who  anticipated  a  wretchea 
old  age. 


262  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  marriage  is  dissolved  of  course,  by  the  courtesy  of  the 
kingdom  as  soon  as  the  younger  of  the  two  comes  to  be 
fourscore ;  for  the  law  thinks  it  a  reasonable  indulgence,  that 
those  who  are  condemned  without  any  fault  of  their  own  to 
a  perpetual  continuance  in  the  world,  should  not  have  their 
misery  doubled  by  the  load  of  a  wife. 

"As  soon  as  they  have  completed  the  term  of  eighty  years 
they  are  looked  on  as  dead  in  law;  their  heirs  immediately 
succeed  to  their  estates;  only  a  small  pittance  is  reserved 
for  their  support;  and  the  poor  ones  are  maintained  at  the 
public  charge.  After  that  period  they  are  held  incapable  of 
any  employment  of  trust  or  profit;  they  cannot  purchase 
lands,  or  take  leases;  neither  are  they  allowed  to  be  witness- 
es in  any  cause,  either  civil  or  criminal,  not  even  for  the  de- 
cision of  meers  and  bounds. 

''At  ninety  they  lose  their  teeth  and  hair:  they  have  at 
that  age  no  distinction  of  taste,  but  eat  and  drink  whatever 
they  can  get,  without  relish  or  appetite.  The  diseases  they 
were  subject  to  still  continue,  without  increasing  or  dimin- 
ishing. In  talking  they  forget  the  common  appellation  of 
things  and  the  names  of  persons,  even  those  who  are  their 
nearest  friends  and  relations.  For  the  same  reason,  they 
never  can  amuse  themselves  with  reading,  because  their 
memory  will  not  serve  to  carry  them  from  the  beginning  of 
a  sentence  to  the  end;  and  by  this  defect,  they  are  deprived 
of  the  only  entertainment  whereof  they  might  otherwise  be 
capable. 

"The  language  of  this  country  being  always  upon  the 
flux,  the  struldbrugs  of  one  age  do  not  understand  those  of 
another;  neither  are  they  able,  after  two  hundred  years,  to 
hold  any  conversation  (farther  than  by  a  few  general  words) 
with  their  neighbors  the  mortals;  and  thus  they  lie  under 
the  disadvantage  of  living  like  foreigners  in  their  own  coun- 
try." 

This  was  the  account  given  me  of  the  struldbrugs  as  near 
as  I  can  remember.  I  afterwards  saw  five  or  six  of  different 
ages,  the  youngest  not  above  two  hundred  years  old,  who 
were  brought  to  me  at  several  times  by  my  friends;  but 
although  they  were  told  "that  I  was  a  traveler  and  had  seen 
all  the  world,"  they  had  not  the  least  curiosity  to  ask  me  a 
question;  only  desired  "I  would  give  them  slumskudask, 
or  a  token  of  remembrance,"  which  is  a  modest  wav  of  beg- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  263 

ging,  to  avoid  the  law,  that  strictly  forbids  it,  because  they 
are  provided  for  by  the  public,  although  indeed  with  a  very 
scanty  allowance. 

They  are  despised  and  hated  by  all  sorts  of  people.  When 
one  of  them  is  born  it  is  reckoned  ominous,  and  their  birth 
is  recorded  veiy  particularly;  so  that  you  may  know  their 
age  by  consulting  the  register,  which,  however,  has  not 
been  kept  above  a  thousand  years  past,  or  at  least  has  been 
destroyed  by  time  or  public  disturbances.  But  the  usual 
way  of  computing  how  old  they  are,  is  by  asking  them  what 
kings  or  great  person  they  can  remember,  and  then  con- 
sulting history;  for  infallibly  the  last  prince  in  their  mind 
did  not  begin  his  reign  after  they  were  fourscore  years 
old. 

They  were  the  most  mortifying  sights  I  ever  beheld;  and 
the  women  were  more  horrible  than  the  men.  Besides  the 
usual  deformities  in  extreme  old  age,  they  acquired  an  addi- 
tional ghastliness,  in  proportion  to  their  number  of  years, 
which  is  not  to  be  described;  and  among  half  a  dozen,  I 
soon  distinguished  which  was  the  eldest,  although  there  was 
not  above  a  century  or  two  between  them. 

The  reader  will  easily  believe,  that  from  what  I  had  heard 
and  seen,  my  keen  appetite  for  perpetuity  of  life  was  much 
abated.  I  grew  heartily  ashamed  of  the  pleasing  visions  I 
had  formed;  and  thought  no  tyrant  could  invent  a  death, 
into  which  I  would  not  run  with  pleasure  from  such  a  life. 

The  king  heard  of  all  that  had  passed  between  me  and 
my  friends  upon  this  occasion,  and  rallied  me  very  pleas- 
antly; wishing  I  could  send  a  couple  of  struldbrugs  to  my 
own  country,  to  arm  our  people  against  the  fear  of  death;* 
but  this,  it  seems,  is  forbidden  by  the  fundamental  laws  of 
the  kingdom,  or  else  I  should  have  been  well  content  with 
the  trouble  and  expense  of  transporting  them. 

I  could  not  but  agree,  that  the  laws  of  this  kingdom  rela- 
tive to  the  struldbrugs  were  founded  upon  the  strongest 
reasons,  and  such  as  any  other  country  would  be  under  the 
necessity  of  enacting,  in  the  like  circumstances.  Otherwise, 
as  avarice  is  the  necessary  consequent  of  old  age,  those  im- 

*  Perhaps  it  may  not  be  wholly  useless  to  remark  that  the  sight  of 
a  struldbrug-  v/ould  not  otherwise  arm  those  against  the  fear  of 
death,  who  have  no  hope  beyond  it,  than  a  man  Is  armed  against  the 
fear  of  breaking  his  limbs,  v/ho  jumps  out  of  a  window  when  his  nouso 
is  on  fire.— Hawkesworth. 


264  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

mortals  would  in  time  become  proprietors  of  the  whole  na- 
tion and  engross  the  civil  power,  which,  for  want  of  abili- 
ties to  manage,  must  end  in  the  ruin  of  the  public. 


CHAPTER   XL 

THE  AUTHOR  LEAVES  LUGGNAGG  AND  SAILS  TO  JAPAN— 
FROM  THENCE  HE  RETURNS  IN  A  DUTCH  SHIP  TO  AM- 
STERDAM, AND  FROM  AMSTERDAM  TO  ENGLAND. 

Judging  this  account  of  the  struldbrugs  might  be  some 
entertainment  to  the  reader,  because  it  seems  to  be  a  little 
out  of  the  common  way;  at  least  I  do  not  remember  to  have 
met  the  like  in  any  book  of  travels  that  has  come  to  my 
hands;  and  if  I  am  deceived  my  excuse  must  be,  that  it  is 
necessary  for  travelers  who  describe  the  same  country-,  very 
often  to  agree  in  dwelling  on  the  same  particulars,  without 
deserving  the  censure  of  having  borrowed  from  those  who 
wrote  before  them. 

There  is  indeed  a  perpetual  commerce  between  this  king- 
dom and  the  great  empire  of  Japan;  and  it  is  very  probable, 
that  the  Japanese  authors  may  have  given  some  account  of 
the  struldbrugs;  but  my  stay  in  Japan  was  so  short,  and  I 
was  so  entirely  a  stranger  to  the  language,  that  I  was  not 
qualified  to  make  any  inquiries.  But  I  hope  the  Dutch, 
upon  this  notice,  will  be  curious  and  able  enough  to  supply 
my  defects. 

His  majesty  having  often  pressed  me  to  accept  some  em- 
ployment in  his  court,  and  finding  me  absolutely  deter- 
mined to  return  to  my  native  country,  was  pleased  to  give 
me  license  to  depart;  and  honored  me  with  a  letter  of  rec- 
ommendation under  his  own  hand,  to  the  Emperor  of  Japan. 
He  likewise  presented  me  four  hundred  and  forty-four  large 
pieces  of  gold  (this  nation  delighted  in  even  numbers),  and 
a  red  diamond,  which  I  sold  in  England  for  eleven  hundred 
pounds. 

On  the  sixth  of  May,  1709,  I  took  a -solemn  leave  of  his 
majesty  and  all  my  friends.  The  prince  was  so  gracious 
as  to  order  a  guard  to  conduct  me  to  Glanguenstald,  which 
is  a  royal  port  to  the  southwest  part  of  the  island.    In  six 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  265 

da.ys  I  found  a  vessel  ready  to  carry  me  to' Japan;  and  spent 
fifteen  days  in  the  voyage.  We  landed  at  a  small  port-town 
called  Xamoschi,  situated  on  the  southwest  part  of  Japan; 
the  town  lies  on  the  western  point,  where  there  is  a  narrow 
strait  leading  northward  into  a  long  arm  of  the  sea,  upon 
the  northwest  part  of  which  Yedo,  the  metropolis,  stands. 
At  landing  I  showed  the  custom-house  officers  my  letter 
from  the  king  of  Luggnagg  to  his  imperial  majesty.  They 
knew  the  seal  perfectly  well;  it  was  as  broad  as  the  palm  of 
my  hand.  The  impression  was,  ''A  king  lifting  up  a  lame 
beggar  from  the  earth."  The  magistrates  of  the  town,  hear- 
ing of  my  letter,  received  me  as  a  public  minister;  they  pro- 
vided me  with  carriages  and  servants,  and  bore  my  charges 
to  Yedo,  where  I  v/as  admitted  to  an  audience,  and  de- 
livered my  letter,  which  was  opened  with  great  ceremony, 
and  explained  to  the  emperor  by  an  interpreter;  who  then 
gave  me  notice,  by  his  majesty's  order,  ''that  I  should  sig- 
nify my  request,  and  whatever  it  were,  it  should  be  granted 
for  the  sake  of  his  royal  brother  of  Luggnagg."  This  inter- 
preter was  a  person  employed  to  transact  afifairs  with  the 
Hollanders;  he  soon  conjectured  by  my  countenance,  that 
I  was  an  European,  and  therefore  repeated  his  majesty's 
commands  in  Low  Dutch,  which  he  spoke  perfectly  well. 
1  answered,  as  I  had  before  determined,  "that  I  was  a  Dutch 
merchant,  shipwrecked  in  a  remote  country,  whence  I  had 
traveled  by  sea  and  land  to  Luggnagg,  and  then  took  ship- 
ping for  Japan ;  where  I  knew  my  countrymen  often  traded, 
and  with  some  of  these  I  hoped  to  get  an  opportunity  of 
returning  into  Europe:  I  therefore  most  humbly  entreated 
his  royal  favor,  to  give  order  that  I  should  be  conducted  in 
safety  to  Nangasac."  To  this  I  added  another  petition, 
"that  for  the  sake  of  my  patron,  the  king  of  Luggnagg,  his 
majesty  would  condescend  to  excuse  my  performing  the 
ceremony  imposed  on  my  countrymen,  of  trampling  upon 
the  crucifix;  because  I  had  been  thrown  into  his  kingdom 
by  my  misfortunes,  without  any  intention  of  trading." 
When  the  latter  petition  was  interpreted  to  the  emperor,  he 
seemed  a  little  surprised;  and  said,  "he  beheved  I  was  the 
first  of  my  countrymen  who  ever  made  any  scruple  in  this 
point;  and  that  he  began  to  doubt  whether  I  was  a  real 
Hollander,  or  not;  but  rather  suspected  that  I  must  be  a 
Christian.     However,  for  the  reasons  I  had  offered,  but 


266  GUI.LIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

chiefly  to  gratify  the  king  of  Luggnagg  by  an  uncommon 
mark  of  his  favor,  he  would  comply  with  the  singularity  of 
my  humor;  but  the  afTair  must  be  managed  with  dexterity, 
and  his  of^cers  should  be  commanded  to  let  me  pass,  as  it 
were  by  forgetfulness,  for  he  assured  me,  that  if  the  secret 
should  be  discovered  by  my  countrymen,  the  Dutch,  they 
would  cut  my  throat  on  the  voyage."  I  returned  my  thanks, 
by  the  interpreter,  for  so  unusual  a  favor;  and  some  troops 
being  at  that  time  on  the  march  to  Nangasac,  the  command- 
ing officers  had  orders  to  convey  me  safe  thither,  with  par- 
ticular instructions  about  the  business  of  the  cinicifix. 

On  the  9th  of  June,  1709,  I  arrived  at  Nangasac,  after  a 
very  long  and  troublesome  journey.  I  soon  fell  into  the 
company  of  some  Dutch  sailors  belonging  to  the  Amboyna, 
of  Amsterdam,  a  stout  ship  of  450  tons.  I  had  lived  long  in 
Holland  pursuing  my  studies  at  Leyden,  and  I  spoke  Dutch 
well.  The  seamen  soon  knew  whence  I  came  last;  they 
were  curious  to  inquire  into  my  voyages  and  course  of  life. 
I  made  up  a  story  as  short  and  probable  as  I  could,  but 
concealed  the  greatest  part.  I  knew  many  persons  in  Hol- 
land; I  was  able  to  invent  names  for  my  parents,  whom  I 
pretended  to  be  obscure  people  in  the  province  of  Guelder- 
land.  I  would  have  given  the  captain  (one  Theodorus  Van- 
grult)  what  he  pleased  to  ask  for  my  voyage  to  Holland; 
but  understanding  I  was  a  surgeon,  he  was  contented  to 
take  half  the  usual  rate,  on  condition  that  I  would  serve  him 
in  the  way  of  my  calling.  Before  we  took  shipping,  I  was 
often  asked  by  some  of  the  crew,  "whether  I  had  performed 
the  ceremony  above  mentioned?"  I  evaded  the  questions 
by  general  answers;  "that  I  had  satisfied  the  emperor  and 
court  in  all  particulars."  However,  a  malicious  rogue  of  a 
skipper  went  to  an  officer,  and  pointing  to  me,  told  him,  "I 
had  not  yet  trampled  on  the  crucifix;"  but  the  other,  who 
had  received  instructions  to  let  me  pass,  gave  the  rascal 
twenty  strokes  on  the  shoulders  with  a  bamboo ;  after  which 
I  was  no  more  troubled  with  such  questions. 

Nothing  happened  worth  mentioning  in  this  voyage.  We 
sailed  with  a  fair  wind  to  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope,  where 
we  stayed  only  to  take  in  fresh  water.  On  the  loth  of  April, 
1710,  we  arrived  safe  at  Amsterdam,  having  lost  only  three 
men  by  sickness  on  the  voyage,  and  a  fourth,  who  fell  from 
tb?  foremast  into  the  sea,  not  far  from  the  coast  of  Guinea, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  267 

From  Amsterdam  I  soon  after  set  sail  for  England,  in  a 
small  vessel  belonging  to  that  city. 

On  the  i6th  of  April  we  put  in  at  the  Downs.  I  landed 
next  morning,  and  saw  once  more  my  native  country,  after 
an  absence  of  five  years  and  six  months  complete.  I  went 
straight  to  Redrifif,  where  I  arrived  the  same  day  at  two  in 
the  afternoon,  and  found  my  wife  and  family  in  good  health. 


APPENDIX  TO  LAPUTA. 


BALI^AD. 
ON  THE  SOUTH  SEA  SCHEME. 
BY  DEAN  SWIFT. 


This  ballad  was  written  to  expose  the  mania  for  stock-jobbing  and 
speculation  which  prevailed  in  1720,  and  elucidates  some  of  the  schemes 
satirized  in  the  description  of  the  Academy  of  Lagado. 


Ye  wise  philosophers,  explain, 
What  magic  makes  our  money  rise, 

When  dropp'd  into  the  Southern  main; 
Or  do  these  jugglers  cheat  our  eyes? 

Put  in  your  money,  fairly  told, 
Presto!  begone! — 'tis  here  again: 

Ladies  and  gentlemen,  behold, — 
Here's  every  piece  as  big  as  ten! 

Thus,  in  a  basin  drop  a  shilling, 
Then  fill  the  vessel  to  the  brim. 

You  shall  observe,   as  you   are  filling. 
The  ponderous  metal  seems  to  swim. 

It  rises  both  in  bulk  and  height, 
Behold  it  swelling  like  a  sop; 

The  liquid  medicine  cheats  your  sight,— . 
Behold  it  mounted  to  the  top. 

"In  stock  three  hundred  thousand  pounds, 
I  have  in  view  a  lord's  estate; 

My  manors  all  contiguous  round, 
A  coach  and  six,  and  served  in  plate!" 

Thus  the  deluded  bankrupt  raves, 
Puts  all  upon  a  desperate  bet. 

Then  plunges  in  the  southern  waves, 
Dipped  over  head  and  ears— in  debt. 


270  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS, 

So,  by  a  calenture  misled. 
The  mariner  with  rapture  sees 

On  the  smooth  ocean's  azure  bed, 
Enamelled  fields  and  verdant  trees. 

With  eager  haste  he  longs  to  rove 
In  that  fantastic  scene,  and  thinks 

It  must  be  some  enchanted  grove, 
And  in  he  leaps,  and  down  he  sinks. 

Five  hundred  chariots,  just  besroke, 
Are  sunk  in  these  devouring  waves, — 

The  horses  drown'd,  the  harness  broke, 
And  here  the  owners  find  their  graves. 

Like  Pharaoh,  by  directors  led; 

They  with  their  spoils  went  safe  before. 
His  chariots  tumbling  out  the  dead, 

Lay  shatter'd  on  the  Red  Sea  shore. 

Raised  up  on  Hope's  aspiring  plumes, 
The  young  adventurer  o'er  the  deep. 

An  eagles  fiight  and  state  assumes. 
And  scorns  the  middle-way  to  keep. 

On  paper  wings  he  takes  his  flight. 
With  wax  the  father  bound  them  fast; 

The  wax  is  melted  by  the  height, 
And  down  the  towering  boy  is  cast. 

A  moralist  might  here  explain 
The  rashness  of  the  Cretan  youth,— 

Describe  his  fall  into  the  main, 
And  from  a  fable  form  a  truth. 

His  wings   are  his  paternal  rent, 
He  melts  the  wax  at  every  flame; 

His  credit  sunk,  his  money  spent. 
In  Southern  Seas  he  leave®  his  name. 

Inform  us,  you  that  best  can  tell. 
Why  in  yon  dangerous  gulf  profound. 

Where   hundreds   and  where  thousands  fell 
Fools  chiefly  float,  the  wise  are  drown'd? 

So  have  I  seen,  from  Severn's  brink, 
A  flock  of  geese  jump  down  together. 

Swim  where  the  birds  of  Jove  would  sink, 
And  swimming,  never  wet  a  feather. 

But  I  affirm  tis  false,  in  fact. 
Directors  better  know  their  tools; 

We  see  the  nation's  credit  cracked. 
Each  knave  has  made  a  thousand  fools. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  271 

One  fool  may  from  another  win, 

And  then  get  off  with  money  stored. 
But  if  a  sharper  once  comes  in, 

He  throws  at  all,  and  sweeps  the  board. 

As  fishes  on  each  other  prey. 

The  great  ones  swallowing  up  the  small; 
So  fares  it  in  the  Southern  Sea, 

The  whale  directors  eat  up  all. 

When  stock  is  high,  they  come  between, 

Making  by  secondhand  their  offers. 
Then  cunningly  retire  unseen. 

With  each  a  million  in  his  coffers. 

So  when  upon  a  moonshine  night. 

An  ass  was  drinking  at  a  stream, 
A  cloud  arose  and  stopped  the  light, 

By  intercepting  every  beam. 

The  day  of  judgment  will  be  soon, 

Cries  out  a  sage  among  the  crowd, 
An  ass  has  swallowed  up  the  moon — 

The  moon  lay  safe  behind  a  cloud. 

Each  poor  subscriber  to  the  sea, 

Sinks  down  at  once,  and  there  he  lies; 
Directors  fall  as  well  as  they. 

Their  fall  is  but  a  trick  to  rise. 

So  fishes  rising  from  the  main, 
Can  soar  with  moistened  wings  on  high; 

The  moisture  dried,  they  sink  again, 
And  dip  their  fins  again  to  fly. 

Undone    at    play,  the  female  troops 

Come  here  their  losses  to  retrieve; 
Ride  o'er  the  waves  in  spacious  hoops. 

Like  Lapland  witches  in  a  sieve. 

Thus  Venus  to  the  sea  descends, 

As  poets  feign;  but  where's  the  moral? 
It  shows  the  queen  of  love  intends 

To  search  the  sea  for  pearl  and  coral. 

The  sea  is  richer  than  the  land, 

I  heard  it  from  my  grannam's  mouth; 
Which  now  I  clearly  understand, 

For  by  the  sea  she   meant   the  south. 

Thus,  by  directors,  we  are  told, 

"Pray,  gentlemen,  believe  your  eyes; 
Our  ocean's  covered  o'er  with  gold. 

Look  round  and  see  how  thick  it  lies. 


272  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

"We,  gentlemen,  are  your  assisters. 
We'll  come  and  hold  you  by  the  chin.** 

Alas!  all  is  not  gold  that  glisters, 
Ten  thousands  sink  by  leaping  in. 

Oh!  would  those  patriots  be  so  kind. 
Here  in  the  deep  to  wash  their  hands, 

Then  like  Pactolus,  we  should  find. 
The  sea  indeed  had  golden  sands. 

A  shilling  in  the  bath  you  fling. 

The  silver  takes  a  nobler  hue, 
By  magic  virtue  in  the  spring, 

And  seems  a  guinea  to  your  view. 

But  as  a  guinea  will  not  pass. 

At  market  for  a  farthing  more. 
Shown  through  a  multiplying-glass, 

Than  what  it  always  did  before: 

So  cast  it  in  the  Southern  seas. 
Or  view  it  through  a  jobber's  bill;— 

Put  on  what  spectacles  you  please. 
Tour  guinea's  but  a  guinea  still. 

One  night  a  fool  into  a  brook, 
Thus  from  a  hillock  looking  down, 

The  golden  stars  for  guineas  took. 
And  silver  Cynthia  for  a  crown. 

The  point  he  could  no  longer  doubt; 

He  ran,  he  leaped  into  the  flood; 
There  sprawl'd  awhile,  and  scarce  got  out. 

All  cover'd  o'er  with  slime  and  mud. 

"Upon  the  water  cast  thy  bread. 
And  after  many  days  thou'lt  find  it;" 

But  gold  upon  this  ocean  spread. 
Shall  sink,  and  leave  no  mark  behind  it. 

There  is  a  gulf  where  thousands  fell. 
Here  all  the  bold  adventurers  came, 

A  narrow  sound,  though  deep  as  hell;— 
Change  Alley  is  the  dreadful  name. 

Nine  times  a  day  it  ebbs  and  flows. 
Yet  he  that  on  the  surface  lies, 

Without  a  pilot  seldom  knows 
The  time  it  falls  or  when  'twill  rise. 

Subscribers  here  by  thousands  float, 
And  jostle  one  another  down; 

Each  paddling  in  his  leaky  boat, 
And  there  they  fish  for  gold,  and  drown. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  273 

Now  buried  in  the  depths  below, 

Now  mounted  up  to  heaven  again, 
They  reel  and  stagger  to  and  fro. 

At  their  wits'  end,   like  drunken  men. 

Meantime,  secure  on  Garraway  cliffs, 

A  savage  race,  by  shipwrecks  fed, 
Lie  waiting  for  the  founder'd  skiffs, 

And  strip  the  bodies  of  the  dead. 

But  these,  you  say,  are  fictions  lies. 

From  some  malicious  Tory's  brain; 
For  where  directors  get  a  prize, 

The  Swiss  and  Dutch  whole  millions  drain. 

Thus,  when  by  rooks  a  lord  is  plied, 

Some  cully  often  wins  a  bet, 
By  venturing  on  the  cheating  side. 

Though  not  into  the  secret  let. 

While  some  build  castles  in  the  air. 

Directors  build  them  in  the  seas; 
Subscribers  plainly  see  them  there,— 

For  fools  will  see  as  wise  men  please. 

Thus  oft  by  mariners  are  shown — 

Unless  the  men  of  Kent  are  liars — 
Earl  Godwin's  castles  overthrown, 

And  palace  roofs  and  steeple  spires. 

Mark  where  the  sly  directors  creep. 

Nor  to  the  shore  approach  too  nigh! 
The  monsters  nestle  in  the  deep, 

To  seize  you  in  your  passing  by. 

Then  like  the  dogs  of  Nile  be  wise, 

Who  taught  by  instinct  how  to  shun 
The  crocodile,  that  lurking  lies. 

Run  as  they  drink,  and  drinking  run. 

Antaeus  could,  by  magic  charms. 

Recover  strength  whene'er  he  fell; 
Alcides  held  him  in  his  arms. 

And  sent  him  up  in  air  to  hell. 

Directors  thrown  into  the  sea. 

Recover  strength  and  vigor  there; 
But  may  be  tamed  another  way. 

Suspended  for  a  while  in  air! 

Directors!  for  'tis  you  I  warn, 

By  long  experience  we  have  found 
What  planet  ruled  when  you  were  born; 

We  see  you  never  can  be  drown'd. 


18 


274  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Beware,  nor  over-bulky  grow, 
Nor  come  within  your  cully's  reach; 

For  if  the  sea  should  sink  so  low, 
To  leave  you  dry  upon  the  beach, 

You'll  owe  your  ruin  to  your  bulk; 

Your  foes  already  waiting  stand. 
To  tear  you  like  a  foundered  hulk 

While  you  lie  helpless  on  the  strand. 

Thus,  when  a  whale  has  lost  the  tide, 
The  coasters  crowd  to  seize  the  spoil; 

The  monster  into  parts  divide, 
And  strip  the  bones,  and  melt  the  oil. 

O!  may  some  western  tempest  sweep 
These  locusts  whom  our  fruits  have  fed, 

That  plague,  directors,  to  the  deep, 
Driven  from  the  South  Sea  to  the  Red. 

May  He,  whom  Nature's  laws  obey, 
Who  lifts  the  poor  and  sinks  the  proud. 

Quiet  the  raging  of  the  sea. 
And  still  the  madness  of  the  crowd! 

But  never  shall  our  isle  have  rest 
Till  those  devouring  swine  run  down. 
The  devils  leaving  the  possessed,— 
And  headlong  in  the  waters  drown. 

The  Nation  then,  too  late,  will  find. 
Computing  all  their  cost  and  trouble, 

Directors'  promises  but  wind. 
South  Sea  at  best  a  mighty  bubble. 


The  second  ballad,  to  which  aliusion  is  made  on  page  229,  is  by  an 
unknown  author;  it  produced  a  great  effect  in  its  time,  and  possesses 
too  much  merit  to  be  allowed  to  sink  into  oblivion.  It  is  copied  from 
a  broadside  in  a  private  collection. 


A  SOUTH  SEA  BALLAD; 

OR, 
MERRY  REMARKS  UPON  EXCHANGE  ALLEY  BUBBLES. 

TO  A  NEW  TUNE,  CALLED  "THE  GRAND  ELIXIR;  OR,  THE 
PHILOSOPHER'S  STONE   DISCOVERED." 


I. 

In  London  stands  a  famous  pile. 

And  near  that  pile  an  Alley, 
Where  many  crowds  for  riches  toil. 

And  wisdom  stoops  to  folly. 
Here  sad  and  joyful,  high  and  low. 

Court  Fortune  for  her  graces. 
And  as  she  smiles  or  frowns,  they  show 

Their  gestures  and  grimaces. 

II. 

Here  stars  and  garters  do  appear. 

Among  our  lords  the  rabble; 
To  buy  and  sell,  to  see  and  hear, 

The  Jews  and  Gentiles  squabble. 
Here  crafty  courtiers  are  too  v/ise 

For  those  who  trust  to  Fortune; 
They  see  the  cheat  with  clearer  eyes. 

Who  peep  behind  the  curtain. 


III. 


Our  greatest  ladies  hither  come, 

And  ply  in  chariots  daily; 
Oft  pawn  their  jewels  for  a  sum 

To  venture  in  the  Alley. 
Young  harlots,   too,  from  Drury  Lane, 

Approach  the  'Change  in  coaches, 
To  fool  away  the  gold  they  gain 

By  their  obscene  debauches. 


276  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

IV. 

Long  heads  may  thrive  by  sober  rules. 

Because  they  think,  and  drink  not, 
But  head-longs  are  our  thriving  fools, 

Who  only  drink  and  think  not, 
The  lucky  rogues,  like  spaniel  dogs. 

Leap  into  South  Sea  water, 
And  there  they  fish  for  golden  frogs. 

Not  caring  what  comes  arter. 

V. 

'Tis  said,  that  alchemists  of  old 

Could  turn  a  brazen  kettle. 
Or  leaden  cistern,  into  gold, 

That  noble,  tempting  metal; — 
But  if  it  here  may  be  allowed 

To  bring  in  great  and  small  things. 
Our  cunning  South  Sea,  like  a  god. 

Turns  nothing  into  all  things. 

VI. 

What  need  have  we  of  Indian  wealth, 

Or  commerce  with  our  neighbors? 
Our  constitution  is  in  health, 

And  riches  crown  our  labors. 
Our  South  Sea  ships  have  golden  shrouds. 

They  bring  us  wealth,  'tis  granted; 
But  lodge  their  treasure  in  the  clouds. 

To  hide  it,  till  'tis  wanted. 

VIL 

O  Britain!  bless  thy  present  state. 

Thou  only  happy  nation, 
So  oddly  rich,  so  madly  great. 

Since  bubbles  came  in  fashion. 
Successful  rakes  exert  their  pride, 

And  count  their  airy  millions, 
While  homely  drabs  in  coaches  ride, 

Brought  up  to  town  on  pillions. 

VIII. 

Few  men  who  follow  reason's  rules 

Grow  fat  with  South  Sea  diet; 
Young  rattles  and  unthinking  fools 

Are  those  who  flourish  by  it; 
Old  musty  jades  and  pushing  blades. 

Who've  least  consideration, 
Grow  rich  apace;  while  wiser  head« 

Are  struck  with  admiration. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  277 

IX. 

A  race  of  men,  who,  t'other  day, 

Lay  crush'd  beneath  disasters, 
Are  now  by  stock  brought  into  play. 

And  made  our  lords  and  masters. 
But  should  our  South  Sea  Babel  fall, 

What  numbers  should  be  frowning! 
The  losers  then  must  ease  their  gall 

By  hanging  or  by  drowning. 

X. 

Five  hundred  millions    notes  and  bonds. 

Our  stocks  are  worth  in  value; 
But  neither  lie  in  goods,  or  lands. 

Or  money,  let  me  tell  you. 
Yet  though  our  foreign  trade  is  lost, 

Of  mighty  wealth  we  vapor; 
When  all  the  riches  that  we  boast 

Consist  in  scraps  of  paper. 


Tiie  following-  humorous  attack  on  the  Report  of  the  Secret  Committee 
in  Atterbury's  case  has  been  referred  to  more  than  once  in  the  pre- 
ceding pages;  it  completes  the  satire  directed  against  the  Report  m 
the  description  of  the  academy  of  Lagado,  page  231. 


UPON  THE  HORRID  PLOT 

DISCOVERED  BY  HARLEQUIN,  THE  BISHOP  OP  ROCHES- 
TER'S FRENCH   DOG. 

IN  A  DIALOGUE  BETWEEN  A  WHIG  AND  A  TORY. 


I  ask'd  a  Whig  the  other  night 
How  came  the  wicked  plot  to  light? 
He  answered  that  a  dog,  of  late, 
Inform'd  a  minister  of  state. 
Said  I,  from  that  I  nothing  know, 
For  are  not  all  informers  so? 
A  villain  who  his  friend  betrays, 
We  style  him  by  no  other  phrase; 
And  so  a  perjured  dog  denotes 
Porter,  and  Prendergast,  and  Oates, 
And  forty  others  I  could  name. 

Whig.— But,  sir,  they  say  the  dog  was  lame? 

Tory.— A  weighty  argument  indeed: 
Your  evidence  was  lame; — proceed, 
Come,  help  your  lame  dog  o'er  the  style. 

Whig.— Sir,   you  mistake  me  all  the  while, — 
I  mean  a  dog  without  a  joke, 
Can  howl,  and  bark,  but  never  spoke. 

Tory.— I'm  still  to  seek  which  dog  you  mean, 
Whether  cur  Plunkett,  or  whelp  Skean.* 
An  English  or  an  Irish  hound, 


*  Plunkett  and   Skean,   or  Skinner,  were  two  of  the  principal  wit- 
nesses before  the  Privy  Council. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  279 

Or  t'other  puppy  that  was  drown'd!* 
Or  Mason,  that  abandon'd  bitch ;t 
Then  pray  be  free,  and  tell  me  which: 
For  every  stander-by  was  marking: 
That  all  the  noise  they  made  was  barking. 
You  pay  them  well;  the  dogs  have  got 
Their  dogs'  heads  in  the  porridge  pot: 
And  'twas  but  just,  for  wise  men  say 
That  every  dog  must  have  his  day. 
Dog  Walpole  laid  a  quart  of  nog  on't. 
He'd  either  make  a  hog  or  dog  on't, 
And  look'd,  since  he  has  got  his  wish. 
As  if  he  had  thrown  down  a  dish; 
Yet  thus  I  dare  foretell  you  from  it. 
He'll  soon  return  to  his  own  vomit. 

Whig. — Besides  this  horrid  plot  was  found 
By  Neynoe  after  he  was  drown'd. 

Tory.— Why,  then  the  proverb  is  not  right 
Since  you  can  teach  dead  dogs  to  bite. 

Whig.— I  proved  my  proposition  full. 
But  Jacobites  are  strangely  dull. 
Now  let  me  tell  you  plainly,  sir. 
Our  witness  is  a  real  cur; 
A  dog  of  spirit  for  his  years,— 
Has  twice  two  legs,  two  hanging  ears; 
His  name  is  Harlequin  I  wot, 
And  that's  a  name  in  every  plot; 
Resolved  to  save  the  British  nation, 
Though  French  by  birth  and  education; 
His  correspondence,  plainly  dated. 
Was  all  deciphered  and  translated; 
His  answers  were  exceeding  pretty. 
Before  the  secret  wise  Committee; 
Confess'd  as  plain  as  he  could  bark, 
Then  with  his  forefoot  set  his  mark. 

Tory.— Then  all  this  while  I  have  been  bubbled 
I  thought  it  was  a  dog  in  doublet; 
The  matter  that  no  longer  sticks. 
For   statesmen   never   want  dog-tricks; 
But  since  it  was  a  real  cur, 
And  not  a  dog  in  metaphor, 
I  give  you  joy  of  the  report 
That  he's  to  have  a  place  at  court. 

Whig.— Yes,  and  a  place  he  v/ill  get  rich  in,— 
A  turnspit  in  the  royal  kitchen. 
Sir,  to  be  plain,  I  tell  you  what, 
W©  had  occasion  for  the  plot: 
And  when  we  found  the  dog  begin  it. 
We  guess'd  the  bishop's  foot  was  in  it. 

*  Neynoe,  whose  evidence  pressed  very  hard  on  the  Bishop  was 
drowned  in  attempting  his  escape.  His  examinations  before  the  Privy 
Council  were  received  as  evidence  before  the  Lords  on  the  Bill  of 
Attainder. 

t  Mrs.  Mason's  evidence  W9^s  of  far  less  importance  than  Swift  Uiti- 
insttes. 


280  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Tory. — I  own  it  was  a  dangerous  project. 
But  you  have  proved  it  by  dog--logic. 
Sure  such  intellig-ence  between 
A  dog  and  bishop  ne'er  were  seen; 
Till  you  began  to  change  the  breed. 
Your  bishops  all  are  dogs  indeed. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  281 


A  VOYAGE  TO 
THE  COUNTRY  OF  THE  HOUYHNHNMS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

THE  AUTHOR  SETS  OUT  AS  CAPTAIN  OF  A  SHIP— HIS  MEN 
CONSPIRE  AGAINST  HIM,  CONFINE  HIM  A  LONG  TIME  TO 
HIS  CABIN,  AND  SET  HIM  ON  SHORE  IN  AN  UNKNOWN 
LAND  —  HE  TRAVELS  UP  INTO  THE  COUNTRY  —  THE  YA- 
HOOS, A  STRANGE  SORT  OP  ANIMAL,  DESCRIBED  —  THE 
AUTHOR  MEETS  TWO  HOUYHNHNMS. 

Justly  as  I  may  be  blamed  for  a  rambling  disposition,  I 
must  confess  that  my  love  of  adventure  was  not  extin- 
guished by  the  dangers  recited  in  the  preceding  parts  of  my 
travels.  I  continued  at  home  with  my  wife  and  children, 
about  five  months,  in  a  very  happy  condition,  if  I  could  have 
learned  the  lesson  of  knowing  when  I  was  well.  I  left  my 
poor  wife  big  with  child,  and  accepted  an  advantageous  of- 
fer made  me  to  be  captain  of  the  Adventure,  a  stout  mer- 
chantman of  350  tons:  for  I  understood  navigation  well, 
and  being  grown  weary  of  a  surgeon's  employment  at  sea, 
which,  however,  I  could  exercise  upon  occasion,  I  took  a 
skillful  young  man  of  that  calling,  one  Robert  Purefoy,  into 
my  ship.  We  set  sail  from  Portsmouth,  upon  the  7th  day 
of  September,  1710;  on  the  14th,  we  met  with  Captain  Po- 
cock,  of  Bristol,  at  Tenerifife,  who  was  going  to  the  bay  of 
Campeachy  to  cut  logwood.  On  the  i6th,  he  was  parted 
from  us  by  storm:  I  heard  since  my  return,  that  his  ship 
foundered,  and  none  escaped  but  one  cabin-boy.  He  was 
an  honest  man,  and  a  good  sailor,  but  a  little  too  positive 
in  his  own  opinions;  which  was  the  cause  of  his  destruction, 
as  it  has  been  of  several  others:  for  if  he  had  followed  my 
advice,  he  might  have  safe  been  at  home  with  his  family  at 
this  time  as  well  as  myself. 

I  had  several  men  die  in  my  ship  of  calentures,  so  that  I 


282  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

was  forced  to  get  recruits  out  of  Barbardoes  and  the  Lee- 
ward Islands,  where  I  touched,  by  the  direction  of  the  mer- 
chants who  employed  me;  which  I  had  soon  too  much 
cause  to  repent;  for  I  found  afterwards,  that  most  of  them 
had  been  buccaneers.*  I  had  fifty  hands  on  board,  and  my 
orders  were,  that  I  should  trade  with  the  Indians  in  the 
South  Sea,  and  make  what  discoveries  I  could.  These 
rogues,  whom  I  had  picked  up,  debauched  my  other  men, 
and  they  all  formed  a  conspiracy  to  seize  the  ship,  and  se- 
cure me;  which  they  did  one  morning,  rushing  into  my 
cabin,  and  binding  me  hand  and  foot,  threatening  to  throw 
me  overboard  if  I  offered  to  stir.  I  told  them,  'T  was  their 
prisoner  and  would  submit."  This  they  made  me  swear  to, 
and  then  they  unbound  me,  only  fastening  one  of  my  legs 
with  a  chain,  near  my  bed,  and  placed  a  sentry  at  my  door 
with  his  piece  charged,  who  was  commanded  to  shoot  me 
dead,  if  I  attempted  my  liberty.  They  sent  me  down  vic- 
tuals and  drink,  and  took  the  government  of  the  ship  to 
themselves.  Their  design  was  to  turn  pirates,  and  plunder 
the  Spaniards,  which  they  could  not  do  till  they  got  more 
men.  But  first  they  resolved  to  sell  the  goods  in  the  ship, 
and  then  go  to  Madagascar  for  recruits,  several  among 
them  having  died  since  my  confinement.  They  sailed  many 
weeks,  and  traded  with  the  Indians;  but  I  knew  not  what 
course  they  took,  being  kept  a  close  prisoner  in  my  cabin, 
and  expecting  nothing  less  than  to  be  murdered,  as  they 
often  threatened  me. 

Upon  the  9th  of  May,  171 1,  one  James  Welch  came  down 
to  my  cabin,  and  said,  ''he  had  orders  from  the  captain  to 
set  me  ashore."  I  expostulated  with  him,  but  in  vain ;  neith- 
er would  he  so  much  as  tell  me  who  their  new  captain  was. 
They  forced  me  into  the  long-boat,  letting  me  put  on  my 
best  suit  of  clothes,  which  were  as  good  as  new,  and  take  a 
small  bundle  of  linen,  but  no  arms,  except  my  hanger;  and 
they  were  so  civil  as  not  to  search  my  pockets,  into  which 
I  conveyed  what  money  I  had  with  some  other  little  neces- 
saries. They  rowed  about  a  league,  and  then  set  me  down 
on  a  strand.  I  desired  them  to  tell  me  what  country  it  was. 
They  all  swore,  ''they  knew  no  more  than  myself;"  but  said, 
*'that  the  captain  (as  they  called  him)  was  resolved,  after 

*  Certain  pirates,    that    infested    the  West  Indies,  were   so  oallf^d,— ' 
Hawkesworth, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  283 

they  had  sold  the  lading,  to  get  rid  of  me  in  the  first  place 
where  they  could  discover  land."  They  pushed  off  imme- 
diately, advising  me  to  make  haste  for  fear  of  being  over- 
taken by  the  tide,  and  so  bade  me  farewell. 

In  this  desolate  condition  I  advanced  forward,  and  soon 
got  upon  firm  ground,  where  I  sat  down  on  a  bank  to  rest 
myself,  and  consider  what  I  had  best  do.  When  I  was  a  lit- 
tle refreshed,  I  went  up  into  the  country,  resolving  to  de- 
liver myself  to  the  first  savages  I  should  meet,  and  purchase 
my  life  from  them  by  some  bracelets,  glass  rings,  and  other 
toys,  which  sailors  usually  provide  themselves  with  in  those 
voyages,  and  whereof  I  had  some  about  me.  The  land  was 
divided  by  long  rows  of  trees,  not  regularly  planted,  but 
naturally  growing;  there  was  great  plenty  of  grass,  and 
several  fields  of  oats.  I  walked  very  circumspectly,  for  fear 
of  being  surprised,  or  suddenly  shot  with  an  arrow  from  be- 
hind, or  on  either  side.^J  fell  into  a  beaten  road,  where  I 
saw  many  tracks  o^^^man  fee!^nd  some  of  cows,  but  most 
of  horses.  At  last  ilJtiTCM^veral  animals  in  a  field,  and 
one  or  two  of  the  same  kind  sitting  in  trees.  Their  shape 
was  very  singular  and  deformed,  which  a  little  discomposed 
me,  so  that  I  lay  down  behind  a  thicket  to  observe  them 
better.  Some  of  them  coming  forward  near  the  place  where 
T  lay,  gave  me  an  opportunity  of  distinctly  marking  their 
form.  Their  heads  and  breasts  were  covered  with  a  thick 
hair,  some  frizzled,  and  others  lank;  they  had  breasts  like 
goats,  and  a  long  ridge  of  hair  down  their  backs,  and  the 
foreparts  of  their  legs  and  feet;  but  the  rest  of  their  bodies 
was  bare,  so  that  I  might  see  their  skins,  which  were  of  a 
brown  bufif  color.  They  had  no  tails,  nor  any  hair  at  all  on 
their  buttocks,  except  about  the  anus;  which  I  presume, 
nature  had  placed  there  to  defend  them,  as  they  sat  on  the 
ground;  for  this  posture  they  used,  as  well  as  lying  down, 
and  often  stood  on  their  hind  feet.  They  climbed  high  trees 
as  nimbly  as  a  squirrel,  for  they  had  strong  extended  claws 
before  and  behind,  terminating  in  sharp  points,  and  hooked. 
They  would  often  spring,  and  bound,  and  leap,  with  pro- 
digious agility.  The  females  were  not  so  large  as  the  males; 
they  had  long  lank  hair  on  their  head,  but  none  on  their 
faces,  nor  anything  more  than  a  sort  of  down  on  the  rest  of 
their  bodies,  except  about  the  anus  and  pudenda.  The  dugs 
hung  between  their  fore-feet,  and  often  reached  almost  to 


284  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  ground  as  they  walked.  The  hair  of  both  sexes  was  of 
several  colors,  brown,  red,  black,  and  yellow.  Upon  the 
whole,  I  never  beheld,  in  all  my  travels,  so^^disagTeeable_an 
animal,  or  one  against  which  I  naturally  conceived  so  great 
aiTantipathy ;  so  that  thinking  I  had  seen  enough,  full  of 
contempt  and  aversion,  I  got  up,  and  pursued  the  beaten 
road,  hoping  it  might  direct  me  to  the  cabin  of  some  Indian. 
I  had  not  gone  far  when  I  met  one  of  those  creatures  full  in 
my  way,  and  coming  up  directly  to  me.  The  ugly  monster, 
when  he  saw  me,  distorted  several  ways  every  feature  of  his 
visage,  and  stared,  as  at  an  object  he  had  never  seen  before; 
then  approaching  nearer,  lifted  up  his  forepaw,  whether  out 
of  curiosity  or  mischief  I  could  not  tell;  but  I  drew  my 
hanger,  and  gave  him  a  good  blow  with  the  flat  side  of  it, 
for  I  durst  not  strike  him  with  the  edge,  fearing  the  inhabi- 
ants  might  be  provoked  against  me,  if  they  should  come  to 
know  that  I  had  killed  or  maimed  any  of  their  cattle.  VV^hen 
the  beast  felt  the  smart,  he  drew  back,  and  roared  so  loud, 
that  a  herd  of  at  least  forty  came  flocking  about  me  from  the 
next  field,  howling  and  making  odious  faces;  but  I  ran  to 
the  body  of  a  tree,  and  leaning  my  back  against  it,  kept 
them  oft  by  waving  my  hanger.  Several  of  this  cursed 
brood,  getting  hold  of  the  branches  behind,  leaped  up  into 
the  tree,  whence  they  began  to  discharge  their  excrements 
upon  my  head;  however,  I  escaped  pretty  well  by  sticking 
close  to  the  stem  of  the  tree,  but  was  almost  stifled  with 
the  filth,  which  fell  about  me  on  every  side. 

In  the  midst  of  this  distress,  I  observed  all  to  run  away  on 
a  sudden  as  fast  as  they  could ;  at  which  I  ventured  to  leave 
the  tree  and  pursue  the  road,  wondering  what  it  was  that 
could  put  them  into  this  fright.  But  looking  on  my  left 
hand  I  saw  a  horse  walking  softly  in  the  field;  which  my 
persecutors,  having  sooner  discovered,  was  the  cause  of 
their  flight.  The  horse  started  a  little,  when  he  came  near 
me,  but  soon  recovering  himself,  looked  full  in  my  face  with 
manifest  tokens  of  wonder.  He  viewed  my  hands  and  feet, 
walking  round  me  several  times.  I  would  have  pursued 
my  journey,  but  he  placed  himself  directly  in  the  way,  yet 
looking  with  a  very  mild  aspect,  never  oiYering  the  least 
violence.  We  stood  gazing  at  each  other  for  some  time; 
at  last  I  took  the  boldness  to  reach  my  hand  towards  his 
neck  with  a  design  to  stroke  it,  using  the  common  style  and 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  285 

v/histle  of  jockeys,  when  they  are  going  to  handle  a  strange 
horse.  But  this  animal  seemed  to  receive  my  civilities  with 
disdain,  shook  his  head,  and  bent  his  brows,  softly  raising 
up  his  right  forefoot  to  remove  my  hand.  Then  he  neighed 
three  or  four  times,  but  in  so  different  a  cadence,  that  I 
almost  began  to  think  he  was  speaking  to  himself,  in  some 
lafiguage  of  his  own. 

While  he  and  I  were  thus  employed,  another  horse  came 
up;  who  applying  himself  first  in  a  very  formal  manner, 
they  gently  struck  each  other's  right  hoof  before,  neighing 
several  times  by  turns,  and  varying  the  sound,  which 
seemed  to  be  almost  articulate.  They  went  some  paces  ofif, 
as  if  it  were  to  confer  together,  walking  side  by  side,  back- 
ward and  forward,  like  persons  deliberating  upon  some  af- 
fair of  weight,  but  often  turning  their  eyes  toward  me,  as  it 
were  to  watch  that  I  might  not  escape.  I  was  amazed  to 
see  such  actions  and  behavior  in  brute  beasts;  and  con- 
cluded with  myself,  that  if  the  inhabitants  of  this  country 
were  endued  with  a  proportionable  degree  of  reason,  they 
must  needs  be  the  wisest  people  upon  earth.  This  thought 
gave  me  so  much  comfort,  that  I  resolved  to  go  forward, 
until  I  could  discover  some  house  or  village,  or  meet  with 
any  of  the  natives,  leaving  the  two  horses  to  discourse  to- 
gether as  they  pleased.  But  the  first,  who  was  a  dapple 
gray,  observing  me  steal  of¥,  neighed  after  me  in  so  expres- 
sive a  tone,  that  I  fancied  myself  to  understand  what  he 
meant;  whereupon  I  turned  back,  and  came  near  to  him, 
to  expect  his  farther  commands,  but  concealing  my  fear  as 
much  as  I  could;  for  I  began  to  be  in  some  pain  how  this 
adventure  might  terminate;  and  the  reader  will  easily  be- 
lieve I  did  not  much  like  my  present  situation. 

The  two  horses  came  up  close  to  me,  looking  with  great 
earnestness  upon  my  face  and  hands.  The  gray  steed 
rubbed  my  hat  all  round  with  his  right  fore  hoof,  and  dis- 
composed it  so  much  that  I  was  forced  to  adjust  it  better  by 
taking  it  ofif,  and  settling  it  again ;  whereat  both  he  and  his 
companion  (who  was  a  brown  bay)  appeared  to  be  much 
surprised;  the  latter  felt  the  lappet  of  my  coat,  and  finding 
it  to  hang  loose  about  me,  they  both  looked  with  new  signs 
of  wonder.  He  stroked  my  hight  hand,  seeming  to  admire 
the  softness  and  color;  but  he  squeezed  it  so  hard  between 
his  hoof  and  his  pastern,  that  I  was  forced  to  roar;   after 


286  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

which  they  both  touched  me  with  all  possible  tenderness. 
They  were  under  great  perplexity  about  my  shoes  and 
stockings,  which  they  felt  very  often,  neighing  to  each 
other,  and  using  various  gestures,  not  unlike  those  of  a 
philosopher,  when  he  would  attempt  toTsoIve  smne  new  and 
difificult  phenomenon. 

Upon  the  whole,  the  behavior  of  these  animals  was  so 
orderly  and  rational,  so  acute  and  judicious,  that  I  at  last 
concluded  they  must  needs  be  magicians,  who  had  thus 
metamorphosed  themselves  upon  some  design,  and  seeing 
a  stranger  in  the  way,  resolved  to  divert  themselves  with 
him;  or,  perhaps  were  really  amazed  at  the  sight  of  a  man 
so  very  different  in  habit,  feature,  and  complexion,  from 
those  who  might  probably  live  in  so  remote  a  cHmate. 
Upon  the  strength  of  this  reasoning,  I  ventured  to  address 
them  in  the  following  manner:  "Gentlemen,  if  you  be  con- 
jurors, as  I  have  good  cause  to  believe,  you  can  understand 
any  language;  therefore  I  make  bold  to  let  your  worships 
know  that  I  am  a  poor  distressed  Englishman,  driven  by 
his  misfortunes  upon  your  coast ;  and  I  entreat  one  of  you 
to  let  me  ride  upon  his  back,  as  if  he  were  a  real  horse,  to 
some  house  or  village  where  I  can  be  relieved.  In  return 
of  which  favor,  I  will  make  you  a  present  of  this  knife  and 
bracelet;"  taking  them  out  of  my  pocket.  The  two  crea- 
tures stood  silent  while  I  spoke,  seeming  to  listen  with 
great  attention;  and  when  I  had  ended,  they  neighed  fre- 
quently toward  each  other,  as  if  they  were  engaged  in  seri- 
ous conversation.  I  plainly  observed  that  their  language 
expressed  the  passions  very  well,  and  the  words  might, 
with  little  pains,  be  resolved  into  an  alphabet  more  easily 
than  the  Chinese. 

I  could  frequently  distinguish  the  word  Yahoo,  which 
was  repeated  by  each  of  them  several  times ;  and  although 
it  was  impossible  for  me  to  conjecture  what  it  meant,  yet, 
while  the  two  horses  were  busy  in  conversation,  I  en- 
deavored to  practice  this  word  upon  my  tongue;  and  as 
soon  as  they  were  silent,  boldly  pronounced  Yahoo,  in  a 
loud  voice,  imitating  at  the  same  time,  as  near  as  I  could, 
the  neighing  of  a  horse;  at  which  they  were  both  visibly 
surprised  and  the  gray  horse  repeated  the  same  word  twice, 
as  if  he  meant  to  teach  the  right  accent;  wherein  I  spoke 
after  him  as  well  as  I  could,  and  found  myself  perceivably 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  28? 

to  improve  every  time,  though  very  far  from  any  degree  of 
perfection.  Then  the  bay  tried  me  with  a  second  word^ 
much  harder  to  be  pronounced;  but  reducing  it  to  the 
Enghsh  orthography  may  be  spelt  thus — Houyhnhnm.  I 
did  not  succeed  in  this  so  well  as  in  the  former;  but  after 
two  or  three  farther  trials,  I  had  better  fortune,  and  they 
both  appeared  amazed  at  my  capacity. 

After  some  further  discourse,  which  I  then  conjectured 
might  relate  to  me,  the  two  friends  took  their  leaves  with 
the  same  compliment  of  striking  each  other's  hoof,  and  the 
gray  made  me  signs  that  I  should  walk  before  him:  where- 
in I  thought  it  prudent  to  comply,  till  I  could  find  a  better 
director.  When  I  offered  to  slacken  my  pace,  he  would  cry 
hhuun,  hhuun.  I  guessed  his  meaning  and  gave  him  to 
understand,  as  well  as  I  could,  "that  I  was  weary,  and  not 
able  to  walk  faster;"  upon  which  he  would  stand  awhile  to 
let  me  rest. 


CHAPTER  II. 

THE  AUTHOR  CONDUCTED  BY  A  HOUYHNHNM  TO  HIS  HOUSE 
—THE  HOUSE  DESCRIBED— THE  AUTHOR'S  RECEPTION— 
THE  FOOD  OF  THE  HOUYHNHNMS— THE  AUTHOR  IN  DIS- 
TRESS FOR  WANT  OF  MEAT— IS  AT  LAST  RELIEVED- HIS 
MANNER  OF  FEEDING  IN  THIS  COUNTRY. 

After  having  traveled  about  three  miles,  we  came  to  a 
long  kind  of  a  building,  made  of  timber  stuck  in  the  ground, 
and  wattled  across;  the  roof  was  low,  and  covered  with 
straw.  I  now  began  to  be  a  little  comforted:  and  took  out 
some  toys,  which  travelers  usually  carry  for  presents  to  the 
savage  Indians  of  America,  and  other  parts,  in  hopes  the 
people  of  the  house  would  be  thereby  encouraged  to  receive 
me  kindly.  The  horse  made  me  a  sign  to  go  in  first ;  it  was 
a  large  room  with  a  clay  floor,  and  a  rack  and  manger,  ex- 
tending the  whole  length  on  one  side.  There  were  three 
nags  and  two  mares,  not  eating,  but  seme  of  them  sitting 
down  upon  their  hams,  which  I  very  much  wondered  at; 
•but  wondered  more  to  see  the  rest  employed  in  domestic 
business;  these  seemed  but  ordinary  cattle;  however,  this 
confirmed  my  first  opinion,  that  a  people  who  could,  so  far 

ids  excel  i] 


civilize  brt^^^e  animals,  must  needs  excel  in  wisdom  aU-the 


288  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ijations  of  the^worln.  Tfie  grey  came  in  just  after,  and 
tHereBy  prevented  any  ill-treatment  which  the  others  might 
have  given  me.  He  neighed  to  them  several  times  in  a 
style  of  authority,  and  received  answers. 

Beyond  this  room  there  were  three  others,  reaching  the 
length  of  the  house,  to  which  you  passed  through  three 
doors,  opposite  to  each  other,  in  the  manner  of  a  vista;  we 
went  through  the  second  room  towards  the  third.  Here 
the  grey  walked  in  first,  beckoning  me  to  attend;  I  waited 
in  the  second  room,  and  got  ready  my  presents  for  the  mas- 
ter and  mistress  of  the  house:  they  were  two  knives,  three 
bracelets  of  false  pearls,  a  small  looking-glass,  and  a  bead 
necklace.  The  horse  neighed  three  or  four  times,  and  I 
waited  to  hear  some  answ^ers  in  a  human  voice,  but  I  heard 
no  other  returns  than  in  the  same  dialect,  only  one  or  two 
a  little  shriller  than  his.  I  began  to  think  that  this  house 
must  belong  to  some  person  of  great  note  among  them, 
because  there  appeared  so  much  ceremony  before  I  could 
gain  admittance.  But,  that  a  m.an  of  quality  should  be 
served  all  by  horses  was  beyond  my  comprehension.  I 
feared  my  brain  was  disturbed  by  my  sufferings  and  mis- 
fortunes: I  roused  myself,  and  looked  about  me  in  the 
room  where  I  was  left  alone;  this  was  furnished  like  the 
first,  only  after  a  more  elegant  manner.  I  rubbed  my  eyes 
often,  but  the  same  objects  still  occurred.  I  pinched  my 
arms  and  sides  to  awake  myself,  hoping  I  might  be  in  a 
dream.  I  then  absolutely  concluded  that  all  these  appear- 
ances could  be  nothing  else  but  necromancy  and  ma^ic. 
But  I  had  no  time  to  pursue  these  reflections,  for  the  grey 
horse  came  to  the  door,  and  made  me  a  sign  to  follow  him 
into  the  third  room,  where  I  saw  a  very  comely  mare,  to- 
gether with  a  colt  and  foal,  sitting  on  their  haunches  upon 
mats  of  straw,  not  unartfully  made  and  perfectly  neat  and 
clean. 

The  mare  soon  after  my  entrance  rose  from  her  mat,  and 
coming  up  close,  after  having  nicely  observed  my  hands 
and  face,  gave  me  a  most  contemptuous  look,  and  turning 
to  the  horse,  I  heard  the  word  Yahoo  often  repeated  be- 
twixt them;  the  meaning  of  which  I  could  not  then  com- 
prehend; although  it  was  the  first  I  had  learned  to  pro- 
nounce ;  but  I  was  soon  better  informed,  to  my  everlasting 
mortification;  for  the  horse  beckoning  to  me  with  his  head, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  289 

and  repeating  the  hhuun,  hhuun,  as  he  did  upon  the  road, 
which  I  understood  was  to  attend  him,  led  me  out  into  a 
kind  of  court,  where  was  another  building,  at  some  distance 
from  the  house.  Here  we  entered,  and  I  saw  three  of  those 
detestable  creatures,  which  I  first  met  after  my  landing, 
feeding  upon  roots,  and  the  flesh  of  some  animals,  which  I 
afterwards  found  to  be  that  of  asses  and  dogs^  and  now  and 
then  a  cow,  dead  by  accident  or  disease.  UThey  were  all 
tied  by  the  neck  with  strong  withes  fastened  to  a  beam; 
they  held  their  food  between  the  claws  of  their  forefeet,  and 
tore  it  with  their  teeth._3 

The  master  horse  ordered  a  sorrel  nag,  one  of  his  ser- 
vants, to  untie  the  largest  of  these  animals,  and  take  him 
into  the  yard.  The  beast  and  I  were  brought  close  to- 
gether, and  our  countenances  diligently  compared  both  by 
master  and  servant,  who  thereupon  repeated  several  times 
the  word  Yahoo.  My  horror  and  astonishment  are  not  to 
be  described,  when  I  observed,  in  this  abominable  animal, 
^  perfect  humaji^ figure.;  the  face  of  it  indeed  was  flat  and 
broaHTlhe  nose~depressed,  the  lips  large,  and  the  mouth 
wide;  but  these  differences  are  common  to  all  savage  na- 
tions, where  the  lineaments  of  the  countenance  are  distorted 
by  the  natives  suffering  their  infants  to  lie  grovelling  on 
the  earth,  or  carrying  them  on  their  backs,  nuzzling  with 
their  faces  against  the  mother's  shoulders.  The  forefoot  of 
the  Yahoo  differed  from  my  hands  in  nothing  else  but  the 
length  of  the  nails,  the  coarseness  and  brownness  of  the 
palms,  and  the  hairiness  on  the  backs.  There  was  the 
same  resemblance  between  our  feet,  with  the  same  differ- 
ences, which  I  knew  very  well,  though  the  horse  did  not, 
because  of  my  shoes  and  stockings;  the  same  in  every  part 
of  our  bodies  except  as  to  hairiness  and  color,  which  I  have 
already  described. 

The  great  dii^culty  that  seemed  to  stick  with  the  two 
horses,  was  to  see  the  rest  of  my  body  so  very  different 
from  that  of  the  Yahoo,  for  which  I  was  obliged  to  my 
clothes,  whereof  they  ha<l  no  conception.  The  sorrel  nag 
offered  me  a  root,  which  he  held  (after  their  manner,  which 
we  shall  describe  in  its  proper  place)  between  his  hoof  and 
pastern :  I  took  it  in  my  hand,  and  having  smelt  it,  returned 
it  to  him  again  as  civilly  as  I  could.  He  brought  out  of  the 
Yahoos'  kennel  a  piece  of  ass's  flesh,  but  it  smelt  so  of- 

19 


290  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

fensively  that  I  turned  from  it  with  loathing:  he  then  threw 
it  to  the  Yahoo,  by  whom  it  was  greedily  devoured.  He 
afterwards  showed  me  a  wisp  of  hay,  and  a  fetlock  full  of 
oats;  but  I  shook  my  head,  to  signify  that  neither  of  these 
were  food  for  me.  And  indeed  I  now  apprehended  that  I 
must  absolutely  starve,  if  I  did  not  get  to  some  of  my  own 
species;  or  as  to  those  filthy  Yahoos,  although  there  were. 
few  greater_iQ3^e£s^  jnankind  at  that  time  than^^self,  yet, 
I  confess!  never  saw  any  sensitive  being  so  detestable  on 
aJU^ccgunfrj  ancl  the  more  .[  "came  near  lEem  the  more 
hateful  thevgrew,  while  I  "stayed  in  that  country.  This 
the  master  norse  observed  by  my  behavior,  and  therefore 
sent  the  Yahoo  back  to  his  kennel.  He  then  put  his  fore- 
hoof  to  his  mouth,  at  which  I  was  much  surprised,  although 
he  did  it  with  ease,  and  with  a  motion  that  appeared  per- 
fectly natural ;  and  made  other  signs  to  know  what  I  would 
eat;  but  I  could  not  return  him  such  an  answer  as  he  was 
able  to  apprehend;  and  if  he  had  understood  me,  I  did  not 
see  how  I  was  possibly  to  contrive  any  way  for  finding  my- 
self nourishment.  While  we  were  thus  engaged,  I  observed 
a  cow  passing  by,  whereupon  I  pointed  to  her,  and  ex- 
pressed a  desire  to  go  and  milk  her.  This  had  its  efifect; 
for  he  had  led  me  back  into  the  house,  and  ordered  a  mare- 
servant  to  open  a  room,  where  a  good  store  of  milk  lay  in 
earthen  and  wooden  vessels,  after  a  very  orderly  and  cleanly 
manner.  She  gave  me  a  large  bowlful,  of  which  I  drank 
very  heartily,  and  found  myself  well  refreshed.    . 

About  noon,  I  saw  coming  towards  the  house  a  kind  of 
vehicle  drawn  like  a  sledge  by  four  Yahoos.  There  was  in 
it  an  old  steed,  who  seemed  to  be  of  quality;  he  alighted 
with  his  hind-feet  forward,  having  by  accident  got  hurt  in 
his  left  forefoot.  He  came  to  dine  with  our  horse,  who  re- 
ceived him  with  great  civility.  They  dined  in  the  best 
room,  and  had  oats  boiled  in  milk  for  the  second  course, 
which  the  old  horse  eat  warm,  but  the  rest  cold.  Their 
mangers  were  placed  circular  in  the  middle  of  the  room, 
and  divided  into  several  partitions,  round  which  they  sat 
on  their  haunches,  upon  bosses  of  straw.  In  the  middle 
was  a  large  rack,  with  angles  answering  to  every  partition 
in  the  manger;  so  that  each  horse  and  mare  eat  their  own 
hay,  and  their  own  mash  of  oats  and  milk,  with  much  de- 
cency and  regularity,  f  The  behavior  of  the  young  colt  and 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  291 

foal  appeared  very  modest,  and  that  of  the  master  and  mis- 
tress extremely  cheerful  and  complaisant  to  their  guesQ 
The  gray  ordered  me  to  stand  by  him;  and  much  discourse 
passed  between  him  and  his  friend  concerning  me,  as  I 
found  by  the  stranger's  often  looking  on  me,  and  the  fre- 
quent repetition  of  the  word  Yahoo. 

I  happened  to  w^ar  my  gloves,  which  the  master  gray  ob- 
serving, seemed  perplexed,  discovering  signs,  of  wonder 
what  I  had  done  to  my  forefeet:  he  put  his  hoof  three  or 
four  times  to  them,  as  if  he  would  signify  that  I  should  re- 
duce them  to  their  former  shape,  which  I  presently  did, 
pulling  off  both  my  gloves,  and  putting  them  into  my 
pocket. 

This  occasioned  further  talk,  and  I  saw  the  company  was 
pleased  with  my  behavior,  whereof  I  soon  found  the  good 
effects.  I  was  ordered  to  speak  the  few  words  I  under- 
stood; and  while  they  were  at  dinner,  the  master  taught  me 
the  names  for  oats,  milk,  fire,  water,  and  some  others; 
which  I  could  readily  pronounce  after  him,  having  from  myl 
youth  a  great  faculty  for  learning  languages.  » 

When  dinner  was  done,  the  master  took  me  aside,  and 
by  signs  and  words  made  me  understand  the  concern  he 
was  in  that  I  had  nothing  to  eat.  Oats  in  their  tongue  are 
called  hlunnh.  This  word  I  pronounced  two  or  three 
times;  for  although  I  had  refused  them  at  first,  yet,  upon 
second  thoughts  I  considered  that  I  could  contrive  to  make 
of  them  a  kind  of  bread,  which  might  be  sufficient,  with 
milk,  to  keep  me  alive,  till  I  could  make  my  escape  to  som.e 
other  country,  and  to  creatures  of  my  own  species.  The 
horse  immediately  ordered  a  white  mare-servant  of  his  fam- 
ily to  bring  me  a  good  quantity  of  oats  in  a  sort  of  wooden 
tray.  These  I  heated  before  the  fire,  as  well  as  I  could,  and 
rubbed  them  till  the  husks  came  off,  which  I  made  a  shift  to 
winnow  from  the  grain:  I  ground  and  beat  them  between 
two  stones,  then  took  water,  and  made  them  into  a  kind  of 
paste  or  cake,  which  I  toasted  at  the  fire,  and  eat  warm  with 
milk.  It  was  at  first  a  very  insipid  diet,  though  common 
enough  in  many  parts  of  Europe,  but  grew  tolerable  by 
tim.e;  and  having  been  often  reduced  to  hard  fare  in  my 
life,  this  was  not  the  first  experiment  I  had  made  how 
easily  nature  is  satisfied.  And  I  cannot  but  observe,  that^ 
Cinever  had  an  hour's  sickness  while  I  stayed  in  this  islan4*J 


292  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

It  is  true  I  sometimes  made  a  shift  to  catch  a  rabbit  or  bird, 
by  springs  made  of  Yahoos'  hair;  and  I  often  gathered 
•v\holesome  herbs,  which  I  boiled  and  eat  as  salads  with  my 
bread;  and  now  and  then,  for  a  rarity,  I  made  a  little  butter 
and  drank  the  whey.  I  was  at  first  at  a  great  loss  for  salt, 
but  custom  soon  reconciled  me  to  the  want  of  it;  and  I  am 
confident  that  the  frequent  use  of  salt  among  us  is  an  effect 
of  luxury,  and  was  first  introduced  as  a  provocative  to  drink, 
except  where  it  is  necessary  for  preserving  flesh  in  long 
voyages,  or  in  places  remote  from  great  markets:  for  we 
observe  no  animal  to  be  fond  of  it  but  man,'''  and  as  to  my- 
self, when  I  left  this  country,  it  was  a  great  while  before  I 
could  endure  the  taste  of  it  in  anything  that  I  ate. 

This  is  enough  to  say  upon  the  subject  of  my  diet,  where- 
with other  travelers  fill  their  books,  as  if  the  readers  were 
personally  concerned  whether  we  fare  well  or  ill.  How- 
ever, it  was  necessary  to  mention  this  matter,  lest  the  world 
should  think  it  impossible  that  I  could  find  sustenance  for 
three  years  in  such  a  country,  and  among  such  inhabitants. 

When  it  grew  towards  evening,  the  master  horse  ordered 
a  place  for  me  to  lodge  in;  it  was  but  six  yards  from  the 
house,  and  separated  from  the  stable  of  the  Yahoos.  Here 
I  got  some  straw,  and  covering  myself  with  my  own  clothes, 
slept  very  sound.  But  I  was  in  a  very  short  time  better 
accomm.odated,  as  the  reader  will  know  hereafter,  when  I 
come  to  treat  more  particularly  about  my  way  of  living. 

*  This  is  a  great  mistake.  Almost  every  animal  is  fond  of  salt,  and 
thrives  when  it  is  mingled  with  its  food.  The  fattening-  quality  ot 
salt  marshes,  and  the  delig-ht  taken  by  animals  in  licking-  salt  sand,  is 
well  known.  It  has  been  sprinkled  upon  musty  hay,  with  such  advan- 
tage as  to  render  it  highly  palatable  to  the  animals  which  before  re- 
fused it. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  293 


CHAPTER  III. 

THE  AUTHOR  STUDIES  TO  LEARN  THE  LANGUAGE  —  THE 
HOUYHNHNM,  HIS  MASTER,  ASSISTS  IN  TEACHING  HIM— 
THE  LANGUAGE  DESCRIBED— SEVERAL  HOUYHNHNMS  OF 
QUALITY  COME  OUT  OF  CURIOSITY  TO  SEE  THE  AUTHOR 
—HE  GIVES  HIS  MASTER  A  SHORT  ACCOUNT  OF  HIS  VOY- 
AGE. 

My  principal  endeavor  was  to  learn  the  language,  which 
my  master  (for  so  I  shall  henceforth  call  him),  and  his  chil- 
dren, and  every  servant  of  his  house,  were  desirous  to  teach 
me;  for  they  looked  upon  it  as  a  prodigy,  that  a  brute  ani- 
mal should  discover  such  marks  of  a  rational  creature.  I 
pointed  to  everything,  and  inquired  the  name  of  it,  which  I 
wrote  down  in  my  journal-book  when  I  was  alone,  and  cor- 
rected my  bad  accent,  by  desiring  those  of  the  family  to 
pronounce  it  often.  In  this  employment  a  sorrel  nag,  one 
of  the  under  servants,  was  very  ready  to  assist  me. 

In  speaking,  they  pronounce  through  the  nose  and  throat, 
and  their  language  approaches  nearest  to  the  High  Dutch 
or  German,  of  any  I  know  in  Europe;  but  it  is  much  more 
graceful  and  significant.  The  emperor  Charles  V.  made 
almost  the  same  observation  when  he  said,  ''that  if  he  were 
to  speak  to  his  horse,  it  should  be  in  High  Dutch."  The 
ruriosity  and  impRtienrp  of  my  master  were  so  great  that  he 
spent  many  hours  of  his  leisure  to  instruct  me.  He  was 
convinced  (as  he  afterwards  told  me)  that  I  must  be  a  Ya- 
hoo; but  my  teachableness,  civility,  and  cleanliness,  aston- 
ished him;  which  were  qualities  altogether  opposite  to 
those  animals.*  He  was  most  perplexed  about  my  clothes, 
reasoning  sometimes  with  himself,  whether  they  were  a 
part  of  my  body:  for  I  never  pulled  them  ofif  till  the  family 
were  asleep,  and  got  them  on  before  they  waked  in  the 
morning.  My  master  was  eager  to  learn  ''whence  I  came; 
how  I  acquired  those  appearances  of  reason  which  I  discov- 
ered in  all  my  actions ;  and  to  know  my  story  from  my  own 

*  "Qualities  opposite  to  animals,"  is  a  strange  mode  ot  expression; 
it  should  be  "which  were  qualities  altogether  opposite  to  such  as  be- 
longed to  those  animals." — Sheridan. 


294  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

mouth,  which  he  hoped  he  should  soon  do,  by  the  great 
proficiency  I  made  in  learning  and  pronouncing  their  words 
and  sentences."  To  help  my  memory,  I  formed  all  I 
learned  into  the  English  alphabet,  and  writ  the  words  down, 
with  the  translations.  This  last,  after  a  time,  I  ventured 
to  do  in  my  master's  presence.  It  cost  me  much  trouble  to 
explain  to  him  what  I  was  doing;  for  the  inhabitants  have 
not  the  least  idea  of  books  or  literature. 

In  about  ten  weeks'  time  I  was  able  to  understand  most 
of  his  questions;  and  in  three  months  could  give  him  some 
tolerable  answers.  He  was  extremely  curious  to  know 
^'from  what  part  of  the  country  I  came,  and  how  I  was 
taught  to  imitate  a  rational  creature;  because  the  Yahoos 
(whom  he  saw  I  exactly  resembled  in  my  head,  hands  and 
face,  that  were  only  visible),*  with  some  appearance  of  cun- 
ning, and  the  strongest  disposition  to  mischief,  were  ob- 
served to  be  the  most  unteachable  of  all  brutes."  I  an- 
swered, "that  I  came  over  the  sea  from  a  far  place,  with 
many  others  of  my  own  kind,  in  a  great  hollow  vessel  made 
of  the  bodies  of  trees;  that  my  companions  forced  me  to 
land  on  this  coast,  and  then  left  me  to  shift  for  myself."  It 
was  with  some  difficulty,  and  by  the  help  of  many  signs,  that 
I  brought  him  to  understand  me.  He  replied,  Ehat  I  must 
,  needs  be  mistaken,  or  that  I  said  the  thing  which  was  not;" 
(  for  they  have  no  word  in  their  language  to  express  lying  or 
\  falsehood^)  "He  knew  it  was  impossible  that  there  could 
be  a  country  beyond  the  sea,  or  that  a  parcel  of  brutes  could 
move  a  wooden  vessel  whither  they  pleased  upon  water. 
He  was  sure  no  Houyhnhnm  alive  could  make  such  a  ves- 
sel, nor  would  trust  Yahoos  to  manage  it." 

The  word  Houyhnhnm,  in  their  tongue,  signifies  a  horse, 
and,  in  its  etymology,  the  perfection  of  nature.  I  told  my 
master  that  "I  was  at  a  loss  for  expression,  but  would  im- 
prove as  fast  as  I  could;  and  hoped  in  a  short  time  I  should 
be  able  to  tell  him  wonders."  He  was  pleased  to  direct  his 
own  mare,  his  colt,  and  foal,  and  the  servants  of  the  family, 
to  take  all  opportunities  of  instructing  me;  and  every  day 
or  two,  for  two  or  three  hours,  he  was  at  the  same  pains 
himself;  several  horses  and  mares  of  quality  in  the  neigh- 
borhood came  often  to  our  house,  upon  the  report  spread 

*  "That  were  only  visible" — an  ambiguous  phrase;  it  should  be— 
"which  only  were  visible,"  etc. — Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  295 

of  "a,  wonderful  Yahoo,  that  could  speak  like  a  Houyhnhnm, 
and  seemed  in  his  words  and  actions  to  discover  some 
glimmerings  of  reason."  These  delighted  to  converse  with 
^me :  they  put  many  questions  and  received  such  answers  as 
I  was  able  to  return.  By  all  these  advantages  I  made  so 
great  a  progress,  that  in  five  months  from  my  arrival,  I 
understood  whatever  was  spoken,  and  could  express  myself 
tolerably  well. 

The  Houyhnhnms,  who  came  to  visit  my  master  out  of 
a  design  of  seeing  and  talking  with  me,  could  hardly  believe 
me  to  be  a  right  Yahoos,  because  my  body  had  a  different 
covering  from  others  of  my  kind.  They  were  astonished 
to  observe  me  without  the  usual  hair  or  skin,  except  on  my 
head,  face,  and  hands;  but  I  discovered  that  secret  to  my 
master  upon  an  accident  which  happened  about  a  fortnight 
before. 

I  have  already  told  the  reader,  that  every  night,  when  the 
family  were  gone  to  bed,  it  was  my  custom  to  strip,  and 
cover  myself  with  my  clothes:  it  happened  one  morning 
early,  that  my  master  sent  for  me  by  the  sorrel  nag,  who  was 
his  valet;  when  he  came  I  was  fast  asleep,  my  clothes  fallen 
off  on  one  side,  and  my  shirt  above  my  waist.  I  awaked 
at  the  noise  he  made,  and  observed  him  to  deliver  his  mes- 
sage in  some  disorder;  after  which  he  went  to  my  master, 
and  in  a  great  fright  gave  him  a  very  confused  account  of 
what  he  had  seen:  this  I  presently  discovered;  for,  going 
as  soon  as  I  was  dressed  to  pay  attendance  upon  his  honor, 
he  asked  me  ''the  meaning  of  what  his  servant  had  reported, 
that  I  was  not  the  same  thing  when  I  slept,  as  I  appeared 
to  be  at  other  times;  that  his  valet  assured  him  some  part 
of  me  was  white,  some  yellow,  at  least  not  so  white,  and 
some  brown." 
^^I  had  hitherto  concealed  the  secret  of  my  dress,  in  order 

(to  distinguish  myself  as  much  as  possible  from  that  cursed 
rare  of  Yahnos!  but  now  I  found  it  in  vain  to  do  so  any 
longer.  Besides,  1  considered  that  my  clothes  and  shoes 
would  soon  wear  out,  which  already  were  in  a  declining 
condition,  and  must  be  supplied  by  some  contrivance  from 
the  hj^e^,.Xi£.Yah^ps,  or  other  brutes;  whereby  the  whole 
secret  would  be  known.  I  therefore  told  my  master,  ''that 
in  the  country  whence  I  came,  those  of  my  kind  always  cov- 
ered their  bodies  with  the  hairs  of  certain  animals  oreoared 


296  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

by  art^  as  well  for  decency  as  to  avoid  the  inclemencies  of 
air,  both  hot  and  cold;  of  which,  as  to  my  own  person,  I 
would  give  him  immediate  conviction,  if  he  pleased  to  com- 
mand me:  only  desiring  his  excuse,  if  I  did  not  expose 
those  parts  that  nature  taught  us  to  conceal."     He  said, 

/  ''my  discourse  was  all  very  strange,  but  especially  the  last 
(    part;  for  he  could  not  understand,  why  nature  should  teach 

\^us  to  conceal  what  nature  had  given;  that  neither  himself 
nor  family  were  ashamed  ot  any  part  of  their  bodies;  but, 
however,  I  might  do  as  I  pleased."  Whereupon  I  first  un- 
buttoned my  coat,  and  pulled  it  off.  I  did  the  same  with 
my  waistcoat.  I  drew  off  my  shoes,  stockings,  and 
breeches.  I  let  my  shirt  down  to  my  waist,  and  drew  up 
the  bottom,  fastened  it  like  a  girdle  about  my  middle  to 
hide  my  nakedness. 

My  master  observed  the  whole  performance  with  great 
signs  of  curiosity  and  admiration.  He  took  up  all  my 
clothes  in  his  pastern,  one  piece  after  another,  and  examined 
them  diligently:  he  then  stroked  my  body  very  gently,  and 
looked  round  me  several  times;  after  which  he  said,  it  was 
plain  I  must  be  a^erfect  Yahoo;  but  that  I  differed  very 
much  from  the  rest  of  my  species,  in  the  softness,  white- 
ness, and  smoothness  of  my  skin;  my  want  of  hair  on  sev- 
eral parts  of  my  body;  the  shape  and  shortness  of  my  claws 
behind  and  before;  and  my  affectation  of  walking  con- 
tinually on  my  hinder  feet.  He  desired  to  see  no  more; 
and  gave  me  leave  to  put  on  my  clothes  again,  for  I  was 
shuddering  with  cold. 

I  expressed  my  uneasiness  at  his  giving  me  so  often  the 
appellation  of  Yahoo,  an  odious  animal,  for  which  I  had  so 
utter  a  hatred  and  contempt :  I  begged  he  would  forbear 
applymg  that  word  to  me,  and  make  the  same  order  in  his 
family  and  among  his  friends  whom  he  suffered  to  see  me. 
I  requested  likewise,  "that  the  secret  of  my  having  a  false 
covering  to  my  body  might  be  known  to  none  but  myself, 
at  least  as  long  as  my  present  clothing  should  last;  for,  as 
to  what  the  sorrel  nag,  his  valet,  had  observed,  his  honor 
might  command  him  to  conceal  it. 

^  All  this  my  master  very  graciously  consented  to,  and 
thus  the  secret  was  kept  till  my  clothes  began  to  wear  out, 
which  I  was  forced  to  supply  by  several  contrivances  that 
shall  hereafter  be  mentioned.     In  the  meantime,  he  desired 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  297 

"I  would  go  on  with  my  utmost  diligence  to  learn  their  lan- 
guage, because  he  was  more  astonished  at  my  capacity  for 
speech  and  reason,  than  at  the  figure  of  my  body,  whether 
it  was  covered  or  not,"  adding,  "that  he  waited  with  some 
impatience  to  hear  the  wonders  which  I  promised  to  tell 
him." 

Thenceforward  he  doubled  the  pains  he  had  been  at  to 
instruct  me:  he  brought  me  into  all  company,  and  made 
them  treat  me  with  civility;  "because,"  as  he  told  them  pri- 
vately, ^'this  would  put  me  into  good  humor,  and  make  me 
more  diverting." 

Every  day,  when  I  waited  on  him,  besides  the  trouble  he 
was  at  in  teaching,  he  would  ask  me  several  questions  con- 
cerning myself,  which  I  answered  as  well  as  I  could;  and 
by  these  means  he  had  already  received  some  general  ideas, 
though  very  imperfect.  It  would  be  tedious  to  relate  the 
several  steps  by  which  I  advanced  to  a  more  regular  con- 
versation, but  the  first  account  I  gave  of  myself  in  any  order 
and  length  was  to  this  purpose. 

''That  I  came  from  a  very  far  country,  as  I  already  had 
attempted  to  tell  him,  with  about  fifty  more  of  my  own 
species;  that  we  traveled  upon  the  seas  in  a  great  hollow 
vessel  made  of  wood,  and  larger  than  his  honor's  house.  I 
described  the  ship  to  him  in  the  best  terms  I  could,  and  ex- 
plained, by  the  help  of  my  handkerchief  displayed,  hov/  it 
was  driven  forward  by  the  wind.  That  upon  a  quarrel 
among  us,  I  was  set  on  shore  on  this  coast,  where  I  walked 
forward,  without  knowing  whither,  till  he  delivered  me  from 
the  ^persecution  of  those  execrable  Yahoos."  He  asked 
miC, '/^who  made  the  ship,  and  how  it  was  possible  that  the 
Houyhnhnms  c^rny  country  would  leave  it  to  the  manage- 
ment of  brute^  My  answer  was,  ''that  I  durst  proceed 
no  farther  in  my  relation,  unless  he  would  give  me  his  word 
and  honor  that  he  would  not  be  offended,  and  then  I  would 
tell  him  the  wonders  I  had  so  often  promised."  He  agreed; 
and  I  went  on  by  assuring  him,  "that  the  ship  was  made  by 
creatures  like  myself;  who,  in  all  the  countries  I  had  trav- 
eled, as  well  as  in  my  own,  were  the  only  governing  rational 
animals;  and  that  upon  my  arrival  hither,*  I  was  as  much 
astonished  to  see  the  Houyhnhnms  act  like  rational  beings, 

*  It  should  be— "upon  my  arrival  here,"  not  "arrival  hither,"  which 
is  not  Eng-lish.— Sheridan, 


298  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

as  he,  or  his  friends,  could  be,  in  finding  some  marks  of 
reason  in  a  creature  he  was  pleased  to  call  a  Yahoos  to 
which  I  owned  my  resemblance  in  every  part,  but  could  not 
account  for  their  degenerate  and  brutal  nature."  I  said 
farther,  "that  if  good  fortune  ever  restored  me  to  my  na- 
tive country,  to  relate  my  travels  hither,  as  I  resolved  to  do, 
everybody  would  believe,  that  I  said  the  thing  that  was  not, 
that  I  invented  the  story  out  of  my  own  head;  and — with 
all  possible  respect  to  myself,  his  family,  and  friends,  and 
under  his  promise  of  not  being  offended — our  countrymen 
v/ould  hardly  think  it  probable  that  a  Houyhnhnm  should 
be  the  presiding  creature  of  a  nation,  and  a  Yahoo  the 
brute." 


CHAPTER  IV. 


THE  HOUYHNHNM' S  NOTION  OF  TRUTH  AND  FALSEHOOD- 
THE  AUTHOR'S  DISCOURSE  DISAPPROVED  BY  HIS  MAS- 
TER—THE AUTHOR  GIVES  A  MORE  PARTICULAR  ACCOUNT 
OP  HIMSELF,  AND  THE  ACCIDENTS  OF  HIS  VOYAGE. 

My  master  heard  me  with  great  appearances  of  uneasi- 
ness in  his  countenance;  because  doubling,  or  not  believing, 
are  sojktl.e.iaiow.n  in  this  country,  that  the  inhabitants  can- 
not tell  how  to  behave  themselves  under  such  circum- 
stances; and  I  remember,  in  frequent  discourses  with  my 
master  concerning  the  nature  of  manhood  in  other  parts  of 
the  world,  having  occasion  to  talk  of  lying  and  false  repre- 
sentation, it  was  with  much  difficulty  that  he  comprehended 
what  I  meant,  although  he  had  otherwise  a  most  acute  judg- 
ment; for  he  argued  thus:  ''that  the  use  of  speech  was  to 
make  us  understand  one  another,  and  to  receive  informa- 
tion of  facts ;  now,  if  any  one  said  the  thing  which  was  not, 
these  ends  were  defeated,  because  I  cannot  properly  be  said 
to  understand  him;  and  I  am  so  far  from  receiving  informa- 
tion, that  he  leaves  me  worse  than  in  ignorance;  for  I  am 
led  to  believe  a  thing  black,  when  it  is^  white,  and  short, 
when  it  is  long."  And  these  were  all  the  notions  he  had 
concerning' that  faculty  of  lying,  so  perfectly  well  under- 
stood and  so  universally  practiced,  among  human  creatures. 

To  return  from  this  digression.  When  I  asserted  that 
the  Yahoos  were  the  only  governing  animals  in  my  coun- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  299 

try,  which  my  master  said  was  altogether  past  his  concep- 
tion, ^he  desired  to  know,  ''whether  we  had  Houyhnhnms 
among  us,  and  what  was  their  employment?"  I  told  him, 
"we  had  great  numbers;  that  in  the  summer  they  grazed  in 
the  fields,  and  in  winter  were  kept  in  houses  with  hay  and 
oats,  where  Yahoo  servants  were  employed  to  rub  their 
skins  smooth,  comb  their  manes,  pick  their  feet,  serve  them 
with  food,  and  make  their  beds."  ''I  understand  you  well," 
said  my  master:  ''it  is  very  plain,  from  all  you  have  spoken, 
that  whatever  share  of  reason  the  Yahoos  pretend  to,  the 
Houyhnhnms  are  your  masters :  I  heartily  wish  our  Yahoos 
would  be  so  tractable."  I  begged  "his  honor  would  please 
excuse  me  from  proceeding  any  further  because  I  was  very 
certain  that  the  account  he  expected  from  me  would  be 
highly  displeasing."  But  he  insisted  in  commanding'''  me 
to  let  him  know  the  best  and  the  worst.  I  told  him  "he 
should  be  obeyed."  I  owned  "that  the  Houyhnhnms 
among  us,  whom  we  called  horses,  were  the  most  generous 
and  comely  animals  we  had;  that  they  excelled  in  strength 
and  swiftness;  and  when  they  belonged  to  persons  of  qual- 
ity, were  employed  in  traveling,  racing,  or  drawing  char- 
iots; they  were  treated  with  much  kindness  and  care,  till 
they  fell  into  diseases,  or  became  foundered  in  the  feet;  but 
then  they  were  sold,  and  used  to  all  kind  of  drudgery  till 
they  died;  after  which  their  skins  were  stripped,  and  sold 
for  what  they  were  worth,  and  their  bodies  left  to  be  de- 
voured by  dogs  and  birds  of  prey.  But  the  common  race 
of  horses  had  not  so  good  fortune,  being  kept  by  farmers 
and  carriers,  and  other  mean  people,  who  put  them  to  great- 
er labor,  and  fed  them  worse." 

I  described  as  well  as  I  could,  our  way  of  riding;  the 
shape  and  use  of  a  bridle,  a  saddle,  a  spur,  and  a  whip ;  of 
harness  and  wheels.  I  added,  "that  we  fastened  plates  of 
a  certain  hard  substance,  called  iron,  at  the  bottom  of  their 
feet,  to  preserve  their  hoofs  from  being  broken  by  the  stony 
ways  on  which  we  often  traveled." 

My  master,  after  some  expressions  of  great  indignation, 
wondered  "how  we  dared  to  venture  upon  a  Houyhnhnm's 
back ;  for  he  was  sure,  that  the  weakest  servant  in  his  house 
would  be  able  to  shake  off  the  strongest  Yahoo;    or  by 

*  "Insisted  in  commanding,"  is  not  English;  it  should  be  "persisted 
in  commanding-,"    etc.— Sheridan. 


SOO  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

lying  down,  or  rolling  on  his  back,  squeeze  the  brute  to 
death."  I  answered,  *'that  our  horses  were  trained  up, 
from  three  or  four  years  old,  to  the  several  uses  we  intend- 
ed them  for;  that  if  any  of  them  proved  intolerably  vicious, 
they  were  employed  for  carriages;  that  they  were  severely 
beaten,  while  they  were  young,  for  any  mischievous  tricks; 
that  the  males,  designed  for  the  common  use  of  riding  or 
draught,  were  generally  castrated  about  two  years  after 
their  birth,  to  take  down  their  spirits,  and  make  them  more 
tame  and  gentle;  that  they  were  indeed  sensible  of  rewards 
and  punishments;  but  his  honor  would  please  to  consider, 
that  they  had  not  the  least  tincture  of  reason,  any  more  than 
the  Yahoos  m  this  country." 

It  put  me  to  the  pains  of  many  circumlocutions,  to  give 
my  master  a  right  idea  of  what  I  spoke;  for  their  language 
does  not  abound  in  a  variety  of  words,  because  theiixjiyants  -^ 
5tBd-passions_are^Jewer  than  among  us.  But  it  is  impos- 
sible to  express  his  noble  resentment  at  our  savage  treat- 
ment of  the  Houyhnhnm  race;  particularly  after  I  had  ex- 
plained the  manner  and  use  of  castrating  horses  among 
us,  to  hinder  them  from  propagating  their  kind,  and  to  ren- 
der them  more  servile.  He  said,  "if  it  were  possible  there 
could  be  any  country  where  Yahoos  alone  were  endued 
with  reason,  they  certainly  must  be  the  governing  animal; 
because  reason  in  time  will  always  prevail  against  brutal 
strength.  But,  considering  the  frames  of  our  bodies,  and 
especially  of  mine,  he  thought  no  creature  of  equal  bulk 
was  so  ill  contrived  for  employing  that  reason  in  the  com- 
mon offices  of  life;"  whereupon  he  desired  to  know  "wheth- 
er those  among  whom  I  lived  resembled  me  or  the  Ya- 
hoos of  this  country."  I  assured  him,  "that  I  was  as  well 
shaped  as  most  of  my  age;  but  the  younger,  and  the  fe- 
males, were  much  more  soft  and  tender,  and  the  skins  of  the 
latter  generally  as  white  as  milk."  He  said,  "I  differed  in- 
deed from  other  Yahoos,  being  much  more  cleanly,  and  not 
altogether  so  deformed ;  but,  in  point  of  real  advantage,  he 
thought  I  differed  for  the  worse:  that  my  nails  were  of  no 
use  either  to  my  fore  or  hinder  feet;  as  to  my  forefeet,  he 
could  not  properly  call  them  by  that  name,  for  he  never 
observed  me  to  walk  upon  them;  that  they  were  too  soft 
to  bear  the  ground;  that  I  generally  went  with  them  un- 
covered;   neither  was  the  covering  I  sometimes  wore  on 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  301 

them  of  the  same  shape,  or  so  strong  as  that  on  my  feet 
behind;  that  I  could  not  walk  with  security,  for  if  either  of 
my  hinder  feet  slipped,  I  must  inevitably  fall."     He  then 
began  to  find  fault  with  other  parts  of  my  body:   the  flat- 
ness of  my  face,  the  prominence  of  my  nose,  mine  eyes 
3^.  placed  directly  in  front,  so  that  I  could  not  look  on  either 
^  /  side,  without  turning  my  head;  that  I  was  not  able  to  feed 
myself,  without  lifting  one  of  my  forefeet  to  my  mouth;  and 
therefore  nature  had  placed  those  joints  to  answer  that 
ecessity.     He  knew  not  what  could  be  the  use  of  those 
everal  clefts  and  divisions  in  my  feet  behind;   that  these 
were  too  soft  to  bear  the  hardness  and  sharpness  of  stones 
ithout  a  covering  made  from  the  skin  of  somxC  other  brute : 
hat  my  whole  body  wanted  a  fence  against  heat  and  cold, 
which   I   was   forced  to  put  on  and  off  every   day,  with 
tediousness  and  trouble;  and  lastly,  that  he  observed  every 
animal  in  this  country  naturally  to  abhor  the  Yahoos,  whom 
the  weaker  avoided  and  the  stronger  drove  from  them.    So 
that,  supposing  us  to  have  the  gift  of  reason  he  could  not 
see  how  it  were  possible  to  cure  that  naiural   antipathy 
which  every  creature  discovered  against  us;    nor  conse- 
quently, how  we  could  tame  and  render  them  serviceable. 
However,  'lie  would,"  as  he  said,  ''debate  the  matter  no 
farther,  because  he  was  more  desirous  to  know  my  own 
story,  the  country  where  I  was  born,  and  the  several  actions 
and  events  of  my  life  before  I  came  hither." 

I  assured  him  "how  extremely  desirous  I  was  that  he 
should  be  satisfied  on  every  point;  but  I  doubted  much, 
whether  it  would  be  possible  for  me  to  explain  myself  on 
several  subjects,  whereof  his  honor  could  have  no  concep- 
tion; because  I  saw  nothing  in  his  country  to  which  I  could 
resemble  them:  that,  however,  I  would  do  my  best,  and 
strive  to  express  myself  by  similitudes,  humbly  desiring  his 
assistance  when  I  wanted  proper  words;"  which  he  was 
pleased  to  promise  me. 

I  said,  "my  birth  was  of  honest  parents,  in  an  island  called 
England,  which  was  remote  from  this  country,  as  many 
days'  journey  as  the  strongest  of  his  honor's  servants  could 
travel  in  the  annual  course  of  the  sun;  that  I  was  bred  a 
surgeon,  whose  trade  it  is  to  cure  wounds  and  hurts  in  the 
body,  gotten  by  accident  or  violence;  i-Viai^my^rn]intry  \^v^^ 
governed  bv  a  female  man,  whom  we  caTTqueenT^that  I  left 


302  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

it  to  get  riches  whereby  I  might  maintain  my  wife  and  fam- 
ily when  I  should  return;  that,  in  my  last  voyage,  I  was 
commander  of  the  ship,  and  had  about  fifty  Yahoos  under 
me,  many  of  which  died  at  sea,  and  I  was  forced  to  supply 
them  by  others  picked  out  from  several  nations;  that  our 
ship  was  twice  in  danger  of  being  sunk,  the  first  time  by  a 
great  storm,  and  the  second  by  striking  against  a  rock." 
Here  my  master  interposed,  by  asking  me,  ''how  I  could 
persuade  strangers,  out  of  different  countries,  to  venture 
with  me,  after  the  losses  I  had  sustained,  and  the  hazards 
I  had  run?"  I  said,  ''they  were  fellows  of  desperate  for- 
tunes, forced  to  fly  from  the  places  of  their  birth  on  account 
of  their  poverty  or  their  crimes.  Some  were  undone  by 
lawsuits;  others  spent  all  they  had  in  drinking,  whoring, 
and  gaming;  others  fied  for  treason;  many  for  murder, 
theft,  poisoning,  robbery,  perjury,  forgery,  coining  false 
money:  for  committing  rapes,  or  sodomy;  for  flying  from 
their  colors,  or  deserting  to  the  enemy;  and  most  of  them 
had  broken  prison:  none  of  these  durst  return  to  their  na- 
tive countries,  for  fear  of  being  hanged,  or  of  starving  in  a 
jail ;  and  therefore  they  were  under  the  necessity  of  seeking 
a  livelihood  in  other  places." 

During  this  discourse  my  master  was  pleased  to  interrupt 
me  several  times.  I  had  made  use  of  many  circumlocutions 
in  describing  to  him  the  nature  of  the  several  crimes  for 
which  most  of  our  crew  had  been  forced  to  fly  their  country. 
This  labor  took  up  several  days'  conversation  before  he  was 
able  to  comprehend  me.  He  was  wholly  at  a  loss  to  know 
whatxQllM  be  the  use  or  necessity  of  practicing  these  vices; 
to  clear  up  which,  I  endeavored  to  give  some  ideas  of  the 
desire  of  power  and  riches;  of  the  terrible  effects  of  lust,  in- 
temperance, malice,  and  envy.  All  this  I  was  forced  to 
define  and  describe  by  putting  cases  and  making  supposi- 
tions. After  which,  like  one  whose  imagination  was  struck 
with  something  never  seen  or  heard  of  before,  he  would  lift 
up  his  eyes  with  amazement  and  indignation.  Power,  gov- 
ernment, war,  law,  punishment,  and  a  thousand  other  things 
had  no  terms,  wherein  that  language  could  express  them; 
which  made  the  difficulty  almost  insuperable,  to  give  my 
master  any  conception  of  what  I  meant.  But,  being  of  an 
excellent  understanding,  much  improved  by  contemplation 
and  converse,  he  at  last  arrived  at  a  competent  knowledge 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  308 

of  what  human  nature,  in  our  parts  of  the  world,  is  capable 
to  perform;  and  desired  I  would  give  hkn  some  particular 
account  of  that  land  which  we  call  Europe,  but  especially 
of  my  own  country. 


CHAPTER  V. 


THE  AUTHOR  AT  HIS  MASTER'S  COMMAND,  INFORMS  HIM 
OF  THE  STATE  OF  ENGLAND  —  THE  CAUSES  OF  WAR 
AMONG  THE  PRINCES  OF  EUROPE— THE  AUTHOR  BEGINS 
TO  EXPLAIN  THE  ENGLISH  CONSTITUTION. 

Let  the  reader  please  to  observe  that  the  following  extract, 
of  many  of  the  conversations  I  had  with  my  master,  con- 
tains a  summary  of  the  most  material  points,  which  were 
discoursed  at  several  times  for  above  two  years;  his  honor 
often  desiring  fuller  satisfaction,  as  I  further  improved  in 
the  Houyhnhnm  tongue.  I  laid  before  him,  as  well  as  I 
could,  the  whole  state  of  Europe;  I  discoursed  of  trade  and 
manufactures,  of  arts  and  science;  and  the  answers  I  gave 
to  all  the  questions  he  made,  as  they  arose  upon  several 
subjects,  were  a  fund  of  conversation  not  to  be  exhausted. 
But  I  shall  here  only  set  down  the  substance  of  what  passed 
between  us  concerning  my  own  country,  reducing  it  in  or- 
der as  well  as  I  can,  without  any  regard  to  time  or  other 
circumstances,  while  I  strictly  adhere  to  truth.  My  only 
concern  is,  that  I  shall  hardly  be  able  to  do  justice  to  my 
master's  arguments  and  expressions,  which  must  needs  suf- 
fer by  want  of  capacity,  as  well  as  by  a  translation  into  our 
barbargu§„Eiiglish . 

"^TjT  obedience,  therefore,  to  his  honor's  commands,  I  re- 
lated to  him  the  revolution  under  the  Prince  of  Orange: 
the  long  war  with  France,  entered  into  by  the  said  prince, 
and  renewed  by  his  successor,  the  present  queen;  wherein 
the  greatest  powers  of  Christendom  were  engaged,  and 
which  still  continued.  I  computed,  at  his  request,  "that 
about  a  million  of  Yahoos  might  have  been  killed  in  the 
whole  progress  of  it;  and  perhaps  a  hundred  or  more  cities 
taken,  and  five  times  as  many  ships  burnt  or  sunk." 

He  asked  me,  ''what  are  the  usual  causes  or  motives  that 
made  one  country  g:o  to  war  with  another.^"     I  answered, 


304  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  4 

"they  were,  innumerable;  but  I  should  only  mention  a  few 
of  the  chief.  Sometimes  the  ambition  of  princes,  who  never 
think  they  have  land  or  people'^ough  to  govern;  some- 
times the  corru£tionjofjiiiiiisters,  who  engage  their  master 
in  a  war,  in  order  to  stifle  or  divert  the  clamor  of  the  sub- 
jects aga.injt  their^  evi]^  ad m i n i stratTon.  Ditterence  in  opTn- 
i^iiis  has  cost  many  millions  of  lives:  for  instance,  whether 
flesh  be  bread^  or  bread  be  flesh;  whether  the  juice  of  a  cer- 
tain berry  be  blood  or  wine;*  whether  whistling  be  a  vice 
or  a  virtue  ;t  whether  it  be  better  to  kiss  a  post  or  throw  it 
into  the  fire;J  what  is  the  best  color  for  a  caat,§  whether 
black,  white,  red,  or  gray,  and  whether  it  should  be  long  or 
short,  narrow  or  wide,  dirty  or  clean,  with  many  more. 
Neither  are  any  wars  so  furious  and  bloody  or  of  so  long 
continuance,  as  those  occasioned  by  difference  in  opinion, 
especially  if  it  be  in  things  indifferent. 

''Sometimes  the  quarrel  between  tAyn-  princes  is  to  decide 
which  of  them  shall  dispossess  a  third  of  his  dominions, 
where  neither  of  them  pretend  to  any  right:  sometimes  one 
prince  quarrels  with  another,  for  fear  the  other  should  quar- 
lel  with  him;  sometimes  a  war  is  entered  upon,  because 
the  enemy  is  too  strong;  and  sometimes,  because  he  is  too 
weak;  sometimes  our  neighbors  want  the  things  which  we 
have,  or  have  the  things  which  we  want,  and  we  both  fight, 
till  they  take  ours,  or  give  us  theirs.  It  is  a  very  justifiable 
cause  of  a  war,  to  invade  a  country  after  the  people  have 
been  wasted  by  famine,  destroyed  by  pestilence,  or  em- 
broiled by  factions  among  themselves.  It  is  justifiable  to 
enter  into  war  against  our  nearest  ally,  when  one  of  his 
towns  lies  convenient  for  us,  or  a  territory  of  land,  that 
would  render  our  dominions  round  and  compact.  If  a 
prince  sends  forces  into  a  nation,  where  the  people  are  poor 
and  ignorant,  he  may  lawfully  put  half  of  them  to  death, 
and  make  slaves  of  the  rest,  in  order  to  civilize  and  reduce 
them  from  their  barbarous  way  of  living.  It  is  a  very  king- 
ly, honorable,  and  frequent  practice,  when  one  prince  de- 
sires, the  assistance  of  another,  to  secure  him  against  an  in- 
vasion, that  the  assistant,  when  he  has  driven  out  the  in- 

*  Transubstantiation.— Hawkesworth.  f  Church  music— Id. 

t  Kissing  a  cross.— Id. 

§  The  color  and  make  of  sacred  vestments,  and  different  orders  of 
ecclesiastics.— Id. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  305 

vader,  should  seize  on  the  dominions  himself,  and  kill,  im- 
prison, or  banish  the  prince  he  came  to  relieve.  Alliance 
by  blood,  or  marriage,  is  a  frequent  cause  of  war  between 
princes;  and  the  nearer  the  kindred  is,  the  greater  their 
disposition  to  quarrel:  poor  nation^  are  hungry,  and  rich 
nations  arc  pyeud ;  and  pride  and  hunger  will_exeJi,J:t^^at 
.VLariaiLce.  For  these  reasons,  the  trade  of  F'soldier  is  held 
the  most_honorable  of  all  others,  because  a  soldier_is„a_Ya- 
hoo^ired^o  kUl,  in  cold  blood,  as  many  of  his  own^species, 
wholiever  offended  him,  as  possibly  he  can. 

'There  is  likewise  a  kind  of  beggarly  princes  in  Europe, 
not  able  to  make  war  by  themselves,  who  hire  out  their 
troops  to  richer  nations,  for  so  much  a  day  to  each  man ;  of 
which  they  keep  three-fourths  to  themselves,  and  it  is  the 
best  part  of  their  maintenance:  such  are  those  in  many 
northern  parts  of  Europe."* 

''What  you  have  told  me,"  said  my  master,  "upon  the  sub- 
ject of  war,  does  indeed  discover  most  admirably  the  effects 
of  that  reason  you  pretend  to :  however,  it  is  happy  that  the 
shame  is  greater  than  the  danger;  and  that  nature  has  left 
you  utterly  incapable  of  doing  much  mischief.  For,  your 
mouths  lying  flat  with  your  faces,  you  can  hardly  bite  each 
other  to  any  purpose,  unless  by  consent.  Then  as  to  the 
claws  upon  your  feet  before  and  behind,  they  are  so  short 
and  tender,  that  one  of  our  Yahoos  would  drive  a  dozen  of 
yours  before  him.  And  therefore,  in  recounting  the  num- 
bers of  those  who  have  been  killed  in  battle,  I  cannot  but 
think  you  have  said  a  thing  which  is  not." 

I  could  not  forbear  shaking  my  head  and  smiling  a  little 
at  his  ignorance.  And  being  no  stranger  to  the  art  of  war, 
I  gave  him  a  description  of  cannons,  culverins,  mmskets, 
carabines,  pistols,  bullets,  powder,  swords,  bayonets,  bat- 
tles, sieges,  retreats,  attacks,  undermines,  countermines, 
bombardments,  sea-fights,  ships  sunk  with  a  thousand  men, 
twenty  thousand  killed  on  each  side,  dying  groans,  limbs 
flying  in  the  air,  smoke,  noise,  confusion,  trampling  to 
death  under  horses'  feet,  flight,  pursuit,  victory;  fields 
9trewed  with  carcasses,  left  for  food  to  dogs,  and  wolves, 
and  birds  of  prey;   plundering,  stripping,  ravishing,  burn- 

*  Swift  alludes  to  the  German  mercenaries  hired  by  George  I.,  the 
employment  of    these    foreigners  gave  great  offense  to  the  English 
nation. 
20 


306  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ing,  and  destroying.  And,  to  set  forth  the  valor  of  my  own 
dear  countrymen,  I  assured  him,  ''that  I  had  seen  them 
blow  up  a  hundred  enemies  at  once  in  a  siege,  and  as  many 
in  a  ship;  and  beheld  the  dead  bodies  drop  down  in  pieces 
from  the  clouds,  to  the  great  diversion  of  the  spectators.""^' 
I  was  going  on  to  more  particulars,  when  my  master 
commanded  me  silence.  He  said,  ''whoever  understood 
the  nature  of  Yahoos  might  easily  believe  it  impossible  for 
so  vile  an  animal  to  be  capable  of  every  action  I  had  named, 
if  their  strength  and  cunning  equalled  their  malice.  But  as 
my  discourse  had  increased  his  abhorrence  of  the  whole 
species,  so  he  found  it  gave  him  a  disturbance  in  his  mind, 
to  which  he  was  wholly  a  stranger  before.  He  thought  his 
ears,  being  used  to  such  abominable  words,  might,  by  de- 
grees, admit  them  with  less  detestation:  that  although  he 
hated  the  Yahoos  of  this  country,  yet  he  no  more  blamed 
them  for  their  odious  qualities  than  he  did  gnnayh  (a  bird 
of  prey)  for  its  cruelty,  or  a  sharp  stone  for  cutting  his  hoof. 
/^  But  when  a  creature  pretending  to  reason  could  be  capable 
of  such  enormities,  he  dreaded  lest  the  corruption  of  that 
faculty  might  be  worse  than  brutahty  itself.  He  seemed 
therefore  confident  that,  instead  of  reason,  we  were  only 
possessed  of  some  quality,  fitted  to  increase  our  natural 
vices;  as  the  reflection  from  a  troubled  stream  returns  the 
image  of  an  ill-shapen  body,  not  only  larger,  but  more  dis- 
torted." 

He  added,  "that  he  had  heard  too  much  upon  the  subject 
of  war,  both  in  this  and  some  former  discourses.  There 
was  another  point  which  a  little  perplexed  him  at  present.  I 
had  informed  him  that  some  of  our  crew  left  their  country 

*  It  would  perhaps  be  impossible,  by  the  most  labored  arg-ument, 
or  forcible  eloquence,  to  show  the  absurd  injustice  and  horrid  cruelty 
of  war  so  effectually,  as  by  this  simple  exhibition  of  them  in  a  new 
light;  with  war,  including  every  species  of  iniquity,  and  every  art  of 
destruction,  we  become  familiar,  by  degrees,  under  specious  terms, 
which  we  seldom  examine  because  they  are  learned  at  an  age  in  which 
the  mind  implicitly  receives  and  retains  whatever  is  impressed;  thus 
it  happens,  that  when  one  man  murders  another  to  gratify  his  lust, 
we  shudder;  but  when  one  man  murders  a  million  to  gratify  his  vanity 
we  approve  and  we  admire,  we  envy  and  we  applaud.  If,  when  this 
and  the  preceding  pages  are  read,  we  discover  with  astonishment  that 
when  the  same  events  have  occurred  in  history,  we  feit  no  emotion, 
and  acquiesced  in  wars  which  we  could  not  but  know  to  have  been 
commenced  for  such  causes  and  carried  on  by  such  means;  let  not 
him  be  censured  for  too  much  debasing  his  species,  who  has  contrib- 
buted  to  their  felicity  and  preservation,  by  stripping  off  the  veil  of 
custom  and  prejudice,  and  holding  up  in  their  native  deformity  the 
vices  by  which  they  become  wretched,  and  the  arts  by  which  they  are 
destroyed.— Hawkesworth. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  307 

on  account  of  being  ruined  by  law;  that  I  had  already  ex- 
plained the  meaning  of  the  word;  but  he  was  at  a  loss  how 
it  should  come  to  pass,  that  the  law,  which  was  intended  for 
every  man's  preservation,  should  be  any  man's  ruin.  There- 
fore he  desired  to  be  farther  satisfied  what  I  meant  by  law, 
and  the  dispensers  thereof,  according  to  the  present  prac- 
tice in  my  own  country;  because  he  thoughtjiature  and 
reason  were  sufficient  guides  for  a  reasonable  animal,  as  we 
pretended  to  be,  in  showing  us  what  we  ought  to  do,  and 
what  to  avoid." 

I  assured  his  honor,  ''that  law  was  a  science,  in  which  I 
had  not  much  conversed,  farther  than  by  employing  advo- 
cates in  vain,  upon  some  injustices  that  had  been  done  me: 
however,  I  would  give  him  all  the  satisfaction  I  was  able." 

I  said,  "there  was  a  society  of  men  among  us,  bred  up 
from  their  youth  in^thfiart  of  proving,  by  w^ords  multiplied 
for  the  purpose,  tliat_white  is  black,  and  black  is  white,  ac- 
cording as  they  are  paid.  To  this  society  all  the  rest  of 
the  people  are  slaves.  For  example,  if  my  neighbor  has 
a  mind  to  my  cow,  he  hires  a  lawyer  to  prove  that  he  ought 
to  have  my  cow  from  me.  I  must  then  hire  another  to  de- 
fend my  right,  it  being  against  all  rules  of  law  that  any  man 
should  be  allowed  to  speak  for  himself.  Nov/,  in  this  case, 
I,  who  am  the  right  owner,  lie  under  two  great  disadvan- 
tages, my  lawyer  being  practiced  almost  from  his  cradle  in 
defending  falsehood,  is  quite  out  of  his  element  when  he 
would  be  an  advocate  for  justice,  which  is  an  unnatural 
of^ce  he  always  attempts  with  great  awkwardness,  if  not 
with  ill-will.  The  second  disadvantage  is,  that  my  lawyer 
must  proceed  with  great  caution,  or  else  he  will  be  repri- 
manded by  the  judges,  and  abhorred  by  his  brethren,  as  one 
that  would  lessen  the  practice  of  the  law.  And  therefore  I 
have  but  two  methods  to  preserve  my  cow.  The  first  is, 
to  gain  over  my  adversary's  lawyer  with  a  double  fee,  who 
will  then  betray  his  client  by  insinuating  that  he  has  justice 
on  his  side.  The  second  way  is  for  my  lawyer  to  make  my 
cause  appear  as  unjust  as  he  can,  by  allowing  the  cow  to 
belong  to  my  adversary;  and  this,  if  it  be  skillfully  done, 
will  certainly  bespeak  the  favor  of  the  bench.*     Now  your 

*  This  bitter  tirade  against  lawyers  was  occasioned  by  the  zeal  with 
which  the  great  majority  of  the  English  bar  supported  the  principles 
of  the  revolution  and  the  Hanoverian  successijon. 


308  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

honor  is  to  know  that  these  judges  are  persons  appointed 
to  decide  all  controversies  of  property,  as  well  as  for  the 
trial  of  criminals,  and  picked  out  from  the  most  dexterous 
lawyers,  who  are  grown  old  or  lazy;  and  having  been 
biased  all  their  lives  against  truth  and  equity,  lie  under 
such  a  fatal  necessity  of  favoring  fraud,  perjury,  and  oppres- 
sion, that  I  have  known  some  of  them  refuse  a  large  bribe 
from  the  side  where  justice  lay,  rather  than  injure  the  fac- 
ulty, by  doing  anything  unbecoming  their  nature  or  their 
ofifice.t 
I  ''It  is  a  maxim  among  these  lawyers,  that  whatever  ha^ 
t  been  done  before  may  legally  be  done  agai^j  andTFi  ere  fore 
tliey"  take  especial  care  to  record  all  the  decisions  formerly 
made  against  common  justice,  and  the  general  reason  of 
mankind.  These,  under  the  name  of  precedents,  they  pro- 
duce as  authorities  to  justify  the  most  iniquitous  opinions; 
and  the  judges  never  fail  of  directing  accordingly. 

"In  pleading,  they  studiously  avoided  entering  into  the 
merits  of  the  cause;  but  are  loud,  violent,  and  tedious  in 
dwelling  upon  all  circumstances  which  are  not  to  the  pur- 
pose. For  instance,  in  the  case  already  mentioned;  they 
never  desire  to  know  what  claim  or  title  my  adversary  has  to 
my  cow;  but  whether  the  said  cow  was  red  or  black;  her 
horns  long  or  short;  whether  the  fields  I  grazed  her  in  be 
round  or  square;  whether  she  was  milked  at  home  or 
abroad;  w^hat  diseases  she  is  subject  to,  and  the  like;  after 
which  they  consult  precedents,  adjourn  the  cause  from  time 
to  time  and  in  ten,  twenty  or  thirty  years  come  to  an  issue. 

*'It  is  likewise  to  be  observed,  that  this  society  has  a  pe- 
culiar cant  and  jargon  of  their  own,  that  no  other  mortal 
can  understand,  and  wherein  all  their  laws  are  written, 
which  they  take  special  care  to  multiply;  whereby  they  have 
w^holly  confounded  the  very  essence  of  truth  and  falsehood, 
of  right  and  wrong;  so  that  it  will  take  thirty  years  to  de- 
cide, whether  the  field,  left  me  by  my  ancestors  for  six  gen- 
erations, belongs  to  me,  or  to  a  stranger  three  hundred  miles 
off. 

"In  the  trial  of  persons  accused  for  crimes  against  the 
state,  the  method  is  much  more  short  and  commendable: 

tit  is  probable  that  the  conduct  of  the  Irish  judges  on  the  trial  of 
Swift's  printers  for  libel  prompted  the  severe  attack  which  is  here 
made  upon  the  bench. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  309 

the  judge  first  sends  to  sound  the  disposition  of  those  in 
power,  after  which  he  can  easily  hang  or  save  a  criminal, 
strictly  preserving  all  due  forms  of  law\" 

Here  my  master  interposing  said,  'Mt  was  a  pity  that 
creatures  endowed  with  such  prodigious  abilities  of  mind 
as  these  lawyers,  by  the  description  I  gave  of  them,  must 
certainly  be,  were  not  rather  encouraged  to  be  instructors 
of  others  in  wisdom  and  knowledge."  In  answer  to  which, 
I  assured  his  honor,  ''that  in  all  points  out  of  their  own 
trade,  they  were  usually  the  most  ignorant  and  stupid  gen- 
eration among  us,  the  most  despicable  in  common  conversa- 
tion, avowed  enemies  to  all  knowledge  and  learning,  and 
equally  disposed  to^  pervert  the  general  reason  of  mankind, 
in  every  other  subject  of  discourse  as  in  that  of  their  own 
profession." 


CHAPTER  VI. 

A  CONTINUATION  OP  THE  STATE  OP  ENGLAND  UNDER 
QUEEN  ANNE— THE  CHARACTER  OP  A  FIRST  MINISTER 
OP  STATE  IN  EUROPEAN  COURTS, 

My  master  was  yet  wholly  at  a  loss  to  understand  what 
motives  could  incite  this  race  of  lawyers  to  perplex,  disquiet, 
and  weary  themselves,  and  engage  in  a  confederacy  of  in- 
justice, merely  for  the  sake  of  injuring  their  fellow-animals; 
neither  could  he  comprehend  what  I  meant  in  saying,  they 
did  it  for  hire.  Whereupon  I  was  at  much  pains  to  describe 
to  him  the  use  of  money,  the  materials  it  was  made  of,  and 
the  value  of  the  metals;  ''that  when  a  Yahoo  had  got  a  great 
store  of  this  precious  substance,  he  was  able  to  purchase 
whatever  he  had  a  mind  to;  the  finest  clothing,  the  noblest 
houses,  great  tracts  of  land,  the  most  costly  meats  and 
drinks,  and  have  his  choice  of  the  most  beautiful  females. 
Therefore,  since  money  alone  was  able  to  perform  all  these 
feats,  our  Yahoos  thought  they  could  never  have  enough  of 
it  to  spend,  or  to  save,  as  they  found  themselves  incHned, 
from  their  natural  bent,  either  to  profusion  or  avarice.  That 
the  rich  man  enjoyed  the  fruit  of  the  poor  man's  labor,  and 
the  latter  were  a  thousand  to  one  in  proportion  to  the  for- 
mer.   That  the  bulk  of_qur  people  were  forced  to  live  mis- 


310  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

erably,  by  laboring  every  day  for  small  v/ages,  to  make  a  few 
live  plentifully." 

I  enlarged  myself  much  on  these,  and  many  other  parti- 
culars to  the  same  purpose ;  but  his  honor  was  still  to  seek ; 
for  he  went  upon  a  supposition,  that  all  animals  had  a  title 
to  their  share  in  the  productions  of  the  earth,  and  especially 
tliQie_-wlio-4iresided  aver  the  rest.  Therefore  he  cTesn-edr  I 
would  let  him  know,  "what  these  costly  meats  were,  and  hov.^ 
any  of  us  happened  to  want  them?"  Whereupon  I  enu- 
merated as  many  sorts  as  came  into  my  head,  with  the  vari- 
ous methods  of  dressing  them,  which  could  not  be  done 
without  sending  vessels  by  sea  to  every  part  of  the  world, 
as  well  for  liquors  to  drink  as  for  sauces  and  innumerable 
other  conveniences.  I  assured  him  "that  this  whole  globe 
of  earth  must  be  at  least  three  times  gone  round,  before  one 
of  our  better  female  Yahoos  could  get  her  breakfast,  or  a  cup 
to  put  it  in."  He  said,  "that  must  needs  be  a  miserable 
country,  which  cannot  furnish  food  for  its  own  inhabitants. 
But  what  he  chiefly  wondered  at  was,  how  such  vast  tracts  of 
ground  as  I  described  should  be  wholly  without  fresh  water, 
and  the  people  put  to  the  necessity  of  sending  over  the  sea 
for  drink."  I  replied,  "that  England  (the  dear  place  of  my 
nativity)  was  computed  to  produce  three  times  the  quantity 
of  food  more  than  its  inhabitants  are  able  to  consume,  as  well 
as  liquors  extracted  from  grain,  or  pressed  out  of  the  fruit 
]oi  certain  trees,  which  made  excellent  drink;  and  the  same 
Vproportion  in  every  other  convenience  of  life.  But,  in  order 
to  feed  the  luxury  and  intemperance  of  the  males,  and  the 
vanity  of  the  females,  we  sent  away  the  greatest  part  of 
our  necessary  things  to  other  countries,  whence  in  return  we 
brought  the  materials  of  diseases,  folly  and  vice,  to  spend 
among  ourselves.  Hence  it  follows  of  necessity,  that  vast 
numbers  of  our  people  are  compelled  to  seek  their  liveli- 
hood by  begging,  robbing,  stealing,  cheating,  pimping,  flat- 
tering, suborning,  forswearing,  forging,  gaming,  lying, 
fawning,  hectoring,  voting,  scribbling,  star-gazing,  poison- 
ing, whoring,  canting,  libelling,  free-thinking,  and  the  like 
occupations :"  every  one  of  which  terms  I  was  at  much  pains 
to  make  him  understand.* 

*  Dr.  Young  relates  that  Lord  Bolingbroke  offered  to  send  his  bill  of 
fare  when  trying-  to  persuade  Swift  to  dine  with  him— "Send  me  your 
bill  of  cornDany,"  was  Swift's  reply. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  311 

*That  wine  was  not  imported  among  us  frpm  foreign 
countries,  to  supply  the  want  of  water  or  other  drinks,  but 
because  it  was  a  sort  of  liquid  which  made  us  merry  by  put- 
ting us  out  of  our  senses ;  diverted  all  melancholy  thoughts, 
begat  wild  extravagant  imaginations  in  the  brain,  raised  our 
hopes  and  banished  our  fears,  suspended  every  office  of 
reason  for  a  time  and  deprived  us  of  the  use  of  our  limbs  till 
we  fell  into  a  profound  sleep;  although  it  must  be  confessed 
that  we  always  awaked  sick  and  dispirited,  and  that  the  use 
of  this  liquor  filled  us  with  diseases  which  made  our  lives 
uncomfortable  and  short 

"But  beside  all  this,  the  bulk  of  our  people  supported 
themselves  by  furnishing  the  necessities  or  conveniences  of 
life  to  the  rich  and  to  each  other.  For  instance,  when  I  am 
at  home,  and  dressed  as  I  ought  to  be,  I  carry  on  my  body 
the  workmanship  of  a  hundred  tradesmen ;  the  building  and 
furniture  of  my  house  employ  as  many  more,  and  five  times 
the  number  to  adorn  my  wife." 

I  was  going  on  to  tell  him  of  another  sort  of  people,  who 
get  their  livelihood  by  attending  the  sick,  having  upon  some 
occasions  informed  his  honor,  that  many  of  my  crew  had 
died  of  diseases.  But  it  was  with  the  utmost  difficulty  that 
1  brought  him  to  apprehend  what  I  meant.  "He  could  easily 
conceive  that  a  Houyhnhnm  grew  weak  and  heavy  a  few 
days  before  his  death,  or  by  some  accident  might  hurt  a 
]limb;  but  that  nature,  who  works  all  things  to  perfection, 
/  should  suffer  any  pains  to  breed  in  our  bodies  he  thought 
^.impossible,  and  desired  to  know  the  reason  of  so  unac- 
Vountable  an  evil." 
^  I  told  him  that  "we  fed  on  a  thousand  things  which  oper- 
ated contrary  to  each  other;  that  we  ate  when  we  were  not 
hungry,  and  drank  without  the  provocation  of  thirst;  that 
we  sat  whole  nights  drinking  strong  liquors,  without  eating 
a  bit,  which  disposed  us  to  sloth,  inflamed  our  bodies,  and 
precipitated  or  prevented  digestion.  That  prostitute  female 
Yahoos  acquired  a  certain  malady,  which  bred  rottenness 
in  the  bones  of  those  who  fell  into  their  embraces ;  that  this, 
and  many  other  diseases,  were  propagated  from  father  to 
son,  so  that  great  numbers  come  into  the  world  with  com- 
plicated maladies  upon  them;  that  it  would  be  endless  to 
give  him  a  catalogue  of  all  diseases  incident  to  human 
bodies,  for  thev  would  not  be  fewer  than  five  or  six  hun- 


312  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

dred,  spread  over  every  limb  and  joint — in  short  every  part, 
external  and  intestine,  having  diseases  appropriated  to  itself. 
To  remedy  which,  there  was  a  sort  of  people  bred  up  among 
us  in  the  profession,  or  pretense,  of  curing  the  sick.  And 
because  I  had  some  skill  in  the  faculty,  I  would,  in  gratitude 
to  his  honor,  let  him  know  the  whole  mystery  and  method 
by  which  they  proceed. 

"Their  fundamental  is,  that  all  diseases  arise  from  reple- 
tion; whence  they  conclude,  that  a  great  evacuation  of  the 
body  is  necessary,  either  through  the  natural  passage,  or 
upwards  at  the  mouth.  Their  next  business  is,  from  herbs, 
minerals,  gums,  oils,  shells,  salt,  juices,  seaweed,  excrements, 
barks  of  trees,  serpents,  toads,  frogs,  spiders,  dead  men's 
flesh  and  bones,  birds,  beasts,  and  fishes,  to  form  a  composi- 
tion for  smell  and  taste,  the  most  abominabl'e,  nauseous,  and 
detestable  they  can  possibly  contrive,  which  the  stomach 
immediately  rejects  with  loathing,  and  this  they  call  a  vomit; 
or  else,  from  the  same  storehouse,  with  some  other  poison- 
ous additions,  they  command  us  to  take  in  at  the  orifice 
above  or  below  (just  as  the  physician  then  happens  to  be 
disposed),  a  medicine  equally  annoying  and  distasteful  to 
the  bowels;  which,  relaxing  the  belly,  drives  down  all  before 
it;  and  this  they  call  a  purge,  or  a  clyster.  For  nature  (as 
the  physicians  allege)  having  intended  the  superior  anterior 
orifice  only  for  the  intromission  of  solids  and  liquids,  and  the 
inferior  posterior  for  ejection,  these  artists*  ingeniously  con- 
sidering, that  in  all  diseases  nature  is  forced  out  of  her  seat, 
therefore,  to  replace  her  in  it,  the  body  must  be  treated  in  a 
manner  directly  contrary,  by  interchanging  the  use  of  each 
orifice;  forcing  solids  and  liquids  in  at  the  anus,  and  mak- 
ing evacuations  at  the  mouth. 

"But  besides  real  diseases,  we  are  subject  to  many  that 
are  only  imaginary,  for  which  the  physicians  have  invented 
imaginary  cures;  these  have  their  several  names,  and  so 
have  the  drugs  that  are  proper  for  them ;  and  with  these  our 
female  Yahoos  are  always  infested. 

"One  great  excellency  in  this  tribe  is  their  skill  at  prog- 
nostics, wherein  they  seldom  fail;  their  predictions  in  real 
diseases,  when  they  arise  in  any  degree  of  malignity;  gen- 
erally portending  death,  which  is  always  in  their  power, 

*  "These  artists,"  is  a  nominative  without  any  verb,  to  which  it 
refers  in  the  remainder  of  the  sentence.— Sheridan, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  313 

when  recovery  is  not,  and  therefore,  upon  any  unexpected 
signs  of  amendment,  after  they  have  pronounced  their  sen- 
tence, rather  than  be  accused  as  false  prophets,  they  know 
how  to  prove  their  sagacity  to  the  world  by  a  seasonable 
dose. 

'They  are  likewise  of  special  use  to  husbands  and  wives 
who  are  grown  weary  of  their  mates ;  to  eldest  sons,  to  great 
ministers  of  state,  and  often  to  princes." 

I  had  formerly^  upon  occasions,  discoursed  with  my  mas- 
ter upon  the  nature  of  government  in  general,  particularly 
of  our  own  excellent  constitution,  deservedly  the  wonder 
and  envy  of  the  whole  world.  But  having  here  accidentally 
mentioned  a  minister  of  state,  he  commanded  me  some  time 
after  to  inform  him  what  species  of  Yahoo  I  particularly 
meant  by  that  appellation. 

I  told  him  "that  first  or  chief  minister  of  state,  who  was 
the  person  I  intended  to  describe,  was  a  creature  wholly  ex- 
empt from  joy  and  grief,  love  and  hatred,  pity  and  anger;  at 
least,  makes  use  of  no  other  passions,  but  a  violent  desire  of 
wealth,  power,  and  titles:  that  he  applies  his  words  to  all 
uses  except  the  maication  of  his  mind;  that  he  never  tells 
a  truth  but  with  an  intent  that  you  should  take  it  for  a  lie; 
nor  a  lie,  but  with  a  design  that  you  should  take  it  for  a 
truth ;  that  those  he  speaks  worst  of  behind  their  backs  are  in 
the  surest  way  of  preferment;  and  whenever  he  begins  to 
praise  you  to  others,  or  to  yourself,  you  are  from  that  day 
forlorn. 

The  worst  mark  you  can  receive  is  a  promise,  especially 
when  it  is  confirmed  with  an  oath;  after  which,  every  wise 
man  retires,  and  gives  over  all  hopes. 

"There  are  three  methods  by  which  a  man  may  rise  to  be 
chief  minister.  The  first  is,  by  knowing  how,  with  prudence, 
to  dispose  of  a  wife,  a  daughter,  or  a  sister;  the  second,  by 
betraying  or  undermining  his  predecessor;  and  the  third  is, 
by  a  furious  zeal,  in  public  assemblies,  against  the  corrup- 
tions of  the  court.  But  a  wise  prince  would  rather  choose  to 
employ  those  who  practice  the  last  of  these  methods;  be- 
cause such  zealots  prove  always  the  most  obsequious  and 
subservient  to  the  will  and  passions  of  their  master.  That 
these  ministers,  having  all  employments  at  their  disposal, 
preserve  themselves  in  power,  by  bribing  the  majority  of  a 
senate  or  great  council;  and  at  last,  by  an  expedient,  called 


314  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

an  act  of  idemnity  (whereof  I  described  the  nature  to  him), 
they  secure  themselves  from  after  reckonings,  and  retire 
from  the  public  laden  with  the  spoils  of  the  nation. 

''The  palace  of  a  chief  minister  is  a  seminary  to  breed  up 
others  in  his  own  trade;  the  pages,  lackeys,  and  porter,  by 
imitating  their  master,  become  ministers  of  state  in  their 
several  districts,  and  learn  to  excel  in  the  three  principal 
ingredients,  of  insolence^  Jyjngj^  and  briber^/.  Accordingly, 
they  have  a  subaltern^'court  paid  to  them  by  persons  of  the 
best  rank,  and  sometimes  by  the  force  of  dexterity  and  im- 
pudence, arrive,  through  several  gradations,  to  be  succes- 
sors to  their  lord. 

"He  is  usually  governed  by  a  decayed  wench,  or  favorite 
footman,  who  are  the  tunnels  through  which  all  graces  are 
conveyed,  and  may  properly  be  called  in  the  last  resort,  the 
governors  of  the  kingdom." 

One  day  in  discourse,  my  master,  having  heard  me  men- 
tion the  nobility  of  my  country,  was  pleased  to  make  me  a 
compliment  which  I  could  not  pretend  to  deserve;  ''that  he 
was  sure  I  must  have  been  born  of  some  noble  family,  be- 
cause I  far  exceeded  in  shape,  color,  and  cleanliness,  all  the 
Yahoos  of  his  nation,  although  I  seemed  to  fail  in  strength 
and  agility,  which  must  be  imputed  to  my  different  way  of 
living  from  those  other  brutes ;  and  besides,  I  was  not  only 
endowed  with  the  faculty  of  speech,  but  likewise  with  some 
rudiments  of  reason,  to  a  degree  that  with  all  his  acquaint- 
ance I  passed  for  a  prodigy." 

He  made  me  observe,  "that  among  the  Houyhnhnms, 
the  white,  the  sorrel,  and  the  iron-gray,  were  not  so  exactly 
shaped  as  the  bay,  the  dapple-gray,  and  the  black ;  nor  born 
with  equal  talents  of  mind,  or  a  capacity  to  improve  them; 
and  therefore  continued  always  in  the  condition  of  servants, 
without  ever  aspiring  to  match  out  of  their  own  race,  which 
in  that  country  would"  be  reckoned  monstrous  snil_u_n- 
^tural." 

I  made  his  honor  my  most  humble  acknowledgments  for 
the  good  opinion  he  was  pleased  to  conceive  of  me;  but 
assured  him  at  the  same  time,  that  my  birth  was  of  the  lower 
sort,  having  been  born  of  plain,  honest  parents,  who  were 
just  able  to  give  me  a  tolerable  education;  that  nobility, 
among  us,  was  altogether  a  different  thing  from  the  idea  he 
had  of  it;   that  our  young  noblemen  are  bred  from  their 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  315 

childhood  in  idleness  and  luxury ;  that,  as  soon  as  years  will 
permit,  they  consume  their  vigor,  and  contract  odious  _dis- 
eases  among  Jewd  females:  and  when  their  fortunes  are 
almost  ruined,  they  marry  some  woman  of  mean  birth,  dis- 
agreeable person,  and  unsound  constitution  (merely  for  the 
sake  of  money),  whom  they  hate  and  despise.  That  the 
productions  of  such  marriages  are  generally  scrofulous, 
rickety,  or  defonne(ixhildren ;  by  which  means  the  family 
seldom  continues  above  three  generations,  unless  the  wife 
takes  care  to  provide  a  healthy  father,  among  her  neighbors 
or  domestics,  in  order  to  improve  and  continue  the  breeds; 
that  a  weak  diseased  body,  a  meager  countejgance,  and,, a 
sajlow  complexion,  are  the  true  mark^  nf  noble  blnnH ;  and 
a  healthy,  robust  appearance  is  so  disgraceful  in  a  man  of 
quality,  that  the  world  concludes  his  real  father  to  have  been 
a  groom  or  a  coachman.  The  imperfections  of  his  mind 
run  parallel  with  those  of  his  body,  being  a  composition  of 
spleen,  dullness,  ignorance,  caprice,  sensuality  and  pride. 

''Without  the  consent  of  this  illustrious  body,  no  law  can 
be  enacted,  repealed,  or  altered;  and  these  nobles  have  like- 
wise the  decision  of  all  our  possessions,  without  appeal.* 


CHAPTER  VIL 


THE  AUTHOR' S^^^ReA^-IiOVEJ  FORlHlS  NATIVE  COUNTRY.— HIS 
MASTER'S  OBSERVATIONS  UPON  THE  CONSTITUTION  AND 
ADMINISTRATION  OF  ENGLAND,  AS  DESCRIBED  BY  THE 
AUTHOR,  WITH  PARALLEL  CASES  AND  COMPARISONS— 
HIS  MASTER'S  OBSERVATIOKTS  UPON  HUMAN  NATURE. 

Let  the  reader  not  wonder  how  I  could  prevail  on  myself 
to  give  so  free  a  representation  of  my  own  species,  among  a 
race  of  mortals  who  are  already  too  apt  to  conceive  the  vilest 
opinion  of  human  kind,  from  that  entire  congruity  between 
me  and  their  Yahoos,  ^u^  I  inust  freely  confess,  that  the 
many  virtues  of  theses^cellent  quadrupeds,  placed  in  oppo- 
site view  to  human  corruptions,  had  so  "far  opened  my  eyes 
and  enlarged  my  understanding,  that  I  began  to  view  the  ) 
actions  and  passions  of  man  in  a  very  different  light,  and  to  ' 

*  Dr.  Young  relates  that  Lord  Bolingbroke's  father  said  to  him  on 
his  being  made  a  lord,  "Ah,  Harry!  I  ever  said  you  would  be  hanged, 
but  now  I  find  you  will  be  beheaded." 


316  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

think  the  honor  of  my  own  kind  not  worth  managing*; 
which,  besides,  it  was  impossible  for  me  to  do,  before  a  per- 
son of  so  acute  a  judgment  as  my  master,  who  daily  con- 
vinced me  of  a  thousand  faults  in  myself,  wherebt  i  had  not 
the  least  perception  before,  and  which,  with  us,  would  never 
be  numbered  even  among  human  infirmities.  I  had  like- 
wise learned,  from  his  example,  an  utter  detestation  of  all 
falsehood  or  disguise ;  and  truth  appeared  so  amiable  to  me, 
that  I  determined  upon  sacrificing  everything  to  it. 

Let  me  deal  so  candidly  with  the  reader  as  to  confess  that 
there  was  yet  a  much  stronger  motive  for  the  freedom  I 
took  in  my  representation  of  things.  I  had  not  yet  been 
a  year  in  this  country  before  I  contracted  such  a  love  and 
veneration  for  the  inhabitants,  that  I  entered  on  a  firm  reso- 
lution never  to  return  to  human  kind,  but  to  pass  the  rest  of 
my  life  among  these  adrnirable  Houvhnhnms.  in  the  con- 
templation and  practice  of  every  virtue :  where  I  could  have 
no  example  or  incitement  to  vice.  But  it  was  decreed  by 
fortune,  my  perpetual  enemy,  that  so  great  a  felicity  should 
not  fall  to  my  share.  However,  it  is  now  some  comfort  to 
reflect,  that  in  what  I  said  of  my  countrymen,  I  extenuated 
their  faults  as  much  as  I  durst  before  so  strict  an  examiner; 
and  upon  every  article  gave  as  favorable  a  turn  as  the  matter 
would  bear.  For,  indeed,  who  is  there  alive  that  will  not  be 
swayed  by  his  bias  and  partiality  to  the  place  of  his  birth? 

I  have  related  the  substance  of  several  conversations  I  had 
with  my  master,  during  the  greatest  part  of  the  time  I  had 
the  honor  to  be  in  his  service;  but  have,  indeed,  for  brev- 
ity's sake,  omitted  much  more  than  is  here  set  down. 

When  I  had  answered  all  his  questions,  and  his  curiosity 
seemed  to  be  fully  satisfied,  he  sent  for  me  one  morning 
early,  and  commanded  me  to  sit  down  at  some  distance  (an 
honor  which  he  had  never  before  conferred  upon  me).  He 
said,  "he  had  been  very  seriously  considering  my  whole 
story,  as  far  as  it  related  both  to  myself  and  to  my  country; 
that  he  looked  upon  us  as  a  sort  of  animals,  to  whose  share, 
by  what  accident  he  could  not  conjecture,  some  small  pit- 
tance of  reason  had  fallen,  whereof  we  made  no  other  use 
than  by  its  assistance  to  aggravate  our  natural  corruptions,  f^ 
and  to- acquire  new  ones,  which  nature  had  not  given  uss 
that  we  disarmed  ourselves  of  the  few  abilities  she  had  be^ 
stowed;  had  been  very  successful  in  multiplying  our  orig- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  317 

inal  v*^ants,  and  seemed  to  spend  our  whole  lives  in  vain  en- 
deavors to  supply  them  by  our  own  inventions.  That  as  to 
myself,  it  was  manifest  I  had  neither  the  strength  nor  the 
agility  of  a  common  Yahoo;  that  I  walked  infirmly  on  my 
hinder  feet;  had  found  out  a  contrivance  to  make  my  claws 
of  no  use  or  defense,  and  to  remove  the  hair  from  my  chin, 
which  was  intended  as  a  shelter  from  the  sun  and  weather. 
Lastly,  that  I  could  neither  run  with  speed,  nor  climb  trees 
like  my  brethren,"  as  he  called  them,  "the  Yahoos  in  his 
country ."~" 

/''That  our  institutions  of  government  and  law  were  plainly 
owing  to  our  gross  defects  in  reason/and  by  consequence 
in  virtue;  becausereajoji^one_js  suflficient  to__govern  a 
rational  creature;  wliTnrwasn:hererore^a  character  we'^ted 
no'^prefefTse  to  challenge,  even  from  the  account  I  had 
given  of  my  own  people;  although  he  manifestly  perceived 
that,  in  order  to  favor  them,  I  had  concealed  many  particu- 
lars, and  often  said  the  thing  which  was  not. 

*'He  was  the  more  confirmed  in  tBis  opinion,  because  he 
observed,  that  as  I  agreed  in  every  feature  of  my  body  with 
other  Yahoos,  except  where  it  was  my  real  disadvantage 
in  point  of  strength,  speed  and  activity,  the  shortness  of  my 
claws,  and  some  particulars  where  nature  had  no  part;  so 
from  the  representation  I  had  given  him  of  our  lives,  our 
manners,  and  our  actions,  he  found  as  near  a  resemblance 
in  the  disposition  of  our  minds."  He  said,  ''the  Yahoos  were 
known  to  h^fe  one  another  more  than  they  did  any  dififerent 
I  species  of  animals ;  and  the  reason  usuallv  assigned  was. 
^Jwhe  odiousness  of  their  own  shapes,  which  all  could  see,  in 
V'^the  rest,  but  not  in  themseWes.  He  had  therefore  begun  to 
think  it  not  unwise  in  us  to  cover  our  bodies,  and  by  that 
invention  conceal  many  of  our  deformities  from  each  other, 
which  would  else  be  hardly  supportable.  But  he  now  found 
he  had  been  mistaken,  and  that  the  dissensions  of  these 
brutes  in  his  country  were  owing  to  the  same  cause  with 
ours,  as  I  had  described  them.  For  if,"  said  he,  "you  throw 
among  five  Yahoos  as  much  food  as  would  be  sufHcient  for 
fifty,  they  will,  instead  of  eating  peaceably,  fall  together  by 
the  ears,  each  single  one  impatient  to  have  all  to  itself;  and 
therefore  a  servant  was  usually  employed  to  stand  by -while 
they  were  feeding  abroad,  and  those  kept  at  home  were  tied 
at  a  distance  from  each  other;  that  if  a  cow  died  of  age  or 


318  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

accident,  before  a  Houyhnhnm  could  secure  it  for  his  own 
Yahoos,  those  in  the  neighborhood  would  come  in  herds  to 
seize  it,  and  then  would  ensue  such  a  battle  as  I  had  de- 
scribed, with  terrible  wounds  made  by  their  claws  on  both 
sides,  although  they  seldom  were  able  to  kill  one  another 
for  want  of  such  convenient  instruments  of  death  as  we  had 
invented.  At  other  times,  the  like  battles  have  been  fought 
between  the  Yahoos  of  several  neighborhoods,  without  any 
visible  cause;  those  of  one  district  watching  all  opportuni- 
ties to  surprise  the  next  before  they  are  prepared.  But  if 
they  find  their  project  had  m.iscarried,  they  return  home, 
and,  for  want  of  enemies,  engage  in  what  I  call  a  civil  war 
among  themselves. 

"That  in  some  fields  of  his  country,  there  are  certain 
shining  stones  of  several  colors,  whereof  the  Yahoos  are 
violently  fond;  and  when  part  of  these  stones  is  fixed  in 
the  earth,  as  it  sometimes  happens,  they  will  dig  with  their 
claws  for  whole  days  to  get  them  out,  then  carry  them  away 
and  hide  them  by  heaps  in  their  kennels;  but  still  looking 
round  with  great  caution,  for  fear  their  comrades  should  find 
out  their  treasure."  My  master  said,  "he  could  never  dis- 
cover the  reason  of  this  unnatural  appetite,  or  how  these 
stones  could  be  of  any  use  to  a  Yahoo;  but  now  he  believed 
it  might  proceed  from  the  same  principjje>^Ql.^yaxic£-Jidiich 
T  }i^d  agcribed  to  nwikind.  That  he  had  once,  by  way  of 
experimentTprivately  removed  a  heap  of  these  stones  from 
the  place  where  one  of  his  Yahoos  had  buried  it;  whereupon 
the  sordid  animal,  missing  his  treasure,  by  his  loud  lament- 
ing brought  the  whole  herd  to  the  place,  there  miserably 
howled,  and  then  fell  to  biting  and  tearing  the  rest;  beg^n 
to  pine  away;  would  neither  eat  nor  sleep,  nor  work,  till 
he  ordered  a  servant  privately  to  convey  the  stones  into  the 
same  hole,  and  hide  them  as  before ;  which,  when  his  Yahoo 
had  found,  he  presently  recovered  his  spirits  and  good 
humor,  but  took  good  care  to  remove  them  to  a  better  hid- 
ing-place, and  has  ever  since  been  a  very  serviceable  brute." 

My  master  further  assured  me,  which  I  also  observed  my- 
self, "that  in  the  fields  where  the  shining  stones  abound, 
the  fiercest  and  most  frequent  battles  are  fought,  occasioned 
by  perpetual  inroads  of  the  neighboring  Yahoo." 

He  said,  "it  was  common  when  two  Yahoos  discovered 
such  a  stone  in  a  field,  and  were  contending  which  of  them 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  319 

should  be  the  proprietor,  a  third  would  take  the  advantage 
and  carry  it  away  from  them  both;"  which  my  master  would 
needs  contend  to  have  some  kind  of  resemblance  with  our 
suits  at  law;  wherein  I  thought  it  for  our  credit  not  to  unde- 
ceive him;  since  the  decision  he  mentioned  was  much  more 
equitable  than  many  decrees  among  us;  because  the  plain- 
tiff and  defendant  there  lost  nothing  beside  the  stone  they 
contended  for;  whereas  our  courts  of  equity  would  never 
have  dismissed  the  cause  while  either  of  them  had  anything 
left. 

My  master,   continuing  his  discourse,  said,  ''there  was 

nothing  that  rendered  the  Yahoos  more  odious  than  their 

undistinguishing  appetite  to  devour  everything  that  came  in 

their  way,  whether  herbs,  roots,  berries,  the  corrupted  flesh 

of  animals,  or  all  mingled  together;   and  it  was  peculiar  in 

their  temper,  that  they  were  fonder  of  what  they  could  get 

by  rapine  or  stealth  at  a  greater  distance,  than  much  better 

food  provided  for  them  at  home.    If  their  prey  held  out,  they 

would  eat  till  they  were  ready  to  burst;  after  which,  nature 

had  pointed  out  to  them  a  certain  root  that  gave  them  a 

general  evacuation. 

/^  'There  was  also  another  kind  of  root,  very  juicy,  but 

f    somewhat  rare  and  difilicult  to  be  found,  which  the  Yahoos 

\  sought  for  with  much  eagerness,  and  would  suck  it  with 

J  great  delight;  it  produced  in  them  the  same  effects  that  wine 

/has  upon  us.    It  would  make  them  sometimes  hug  and  some- 

\  times  tear  one  another;   they  would  howl,  and  grin,  and 

/chatter,  and  reel,  and  tumble,  and  then  fall  asleep  in  the 

(mud." 

I^did  indeed  observe  that  the  Yahoos  were  the  only  ani- 
mals in  the  country  subject  to  any  diseases;  which,  however, 
Vvcre  much  fewer  than^horses  have  among  us,  and  con- 
tracted not  by  any  ill  treatment  they  meet  with,  but  by  the 
Hastiness  and  preediness  of  that  sordid  brute.     Neither  has 


their  language  any  more  than  a  general  appellation  for  those 
maladies,  which  is  borrowed  from  the  name  of  the  beast, 
and  called  "hnea  yahoo,"  or  "Yahoos  evil;"  and  the  cure 
prescribed  is  a  mixture  of  their  own  dung  and  urine,  forci- 
bly put  down  the  Yahoo's  throat.  This  I  have  since  often 
known  to  have  been  taken  with  success,  and  do  here  freely 
recommend  it  to  my  countrymen,  for  the  public  good,  as  an 
admirable  specific  against  all  diseases  produced  by  re- 
pletion. 


820  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

"As  to  learning,  government,  arts,  manufactures,  and  the 
like,"  my  master  confessed,  "he  could  find  little  or  no  re- 
semblance between  the  Yahoos  of  that  country  and  those  h 
curs.  For  he  only  meant  to  observe  what  parity  there  was 
in  our  natures.  He  had  heard,  indeed,  some  curious 
Houyhnhnms  observe,  that  in  most  herds  there  was  a 
sort  of  ruling  Yahoo  (as  among  us  there  is  generally  some 
leading  or  principle  stag  in  a  park),  who  was  always  more 
deformed  in  body  and  mischievous  in  disposition  than  any 
of  the  rest.  That  this  leader  had  usually  a  favorite  as  like 
himself  as  he  could  get,  whose  employment  was  to  lick  his 
master's  feet  and  posteriors,  and  drive  the  female  Yahoos  to 
his  kennel;*  for  which  he  was  now  and  then  rewarded  with  a 
piece  of  ass's  flesh.  This  favorite  is  hated  by  the  whole  herd, 
and  therefore,  to  protect  himself,  keeps  always  near  the  per- 
son of  his  leader.  He  usually  continues  in  ofifice  till  a  worse 
can  be  found;  but  the  very  moment  he  is  discarded,  his  suc- 
cessor, at  the  head  of  all  the  Yahoos  in  that  district,  young 
and  old,  male  and  female,  come  in  a  body,f  and  discharge 
their  excrements  upon  him  from  head  to  foot.  But  how  far 
this  might  be  applicable  to  our  courts,  and  favorites,  and 
ministers  of  state,  my  master  said  I  could  best  determine.'* 

I  durst  make  no  return  to  this  malicious  insinuation, 
which  debased  human  understanding  below  the  sagacity  of 
a  common  hound,  who  has  judgment  enough  to  distin- 
guish and  follow  the  cry  of  the  ablest  dog  in  the  pack,  with- 
out being  ever  mistaken. 

My  master  told  me,  "there  were  some  qualities  remark- 
able in  the  Yahoos,  which  he  had  not  observed  me  to  men- 
tion, or  at  least  very  slightly,  in  the  accounts  I  had  given 
him  of  human-kind."  He  said,  "those  animals,  like  other 
brutes  had  their  females  in  common;  but  in  this  they  dif- 
fered, that  the  she  Yahoos  would  admit  the  males  while 
she  was  pregnant;  and  that  the  males  would  quarrel  and 
fight  with  the  females,  as  fiercely  as  with  each  other;  both 
which  practices  were  such  degrees  of  infamous  brutality, 
as  no  other  sensitive  creature  ever  arrived  at. 

*  Flattery  and  pimping-.— Hawkesworth. 

t  This  sentence  is  altogether  ungrammatical:  "his  successor"  is  the 
only  nominative  to  the  plural  verb  "come";  it  may  be  thus  amended,— 
"but  the  very  moment  he  is  disca.rded,  all  the  Yahoos  in  that  district, 
young  and  old,  male  and  female,  with  his  successor  at  their  head, 
come  in  a  body,"  etc.— Sheridan. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  32i 

''Another  thing  he  wondered  at  in  the  Yahoos,  was  their 
strange  disposition  to  nastiness  and  dirt;  whereas  there  ap- 
pears to  be  natural  love  of  cleanliness  in  all  other  animals." 
As  to  the  two  former  accusations,  I  was  glad  to  let  them 
pass  without  any  reply,  because  I  had  not  a  word  to  ofifer 
upon  them  in  defense  of  my  species,  which  otherwise  I 
certainly  had  done  from  my  own  inclinations.  But  I  could 
have  easily  vindicated  humankind  from  the  imputation  of 
singularity  upon  the  last  article,  if  there  had  been  any  svv^ine 
in  that  country  (unluckily  for  me  there  were  not),  which 
although  it  may  be  sweeter  quadruped  than  a  Yahoo,  can- 
not, I  humbly  conceive,  in  justice,  pretend  to  more  clean- 
liness; and  so  his  honor  himself  must  have  owned,  if  he 
had  seen  their  filthy  way  of  feeding,  and  their  custom  of  wal- 
lowing and  sleeping  in  the  mud. 

My  master  likewise  mentioned  another  quality,  which  his 
servants  had  discovered  in  several  Yahoos,  and  to  him  was 
wholly  unaccountable.  He  said,  "a  fancy  would  sometimes 
take  a  Yahoo  to  retire  to  a  corner,  to  lie  down,  and  hov^^l, 
and  groan,  and  spurn  away  all  that  came  near  him,  although 
he  were  young  and  fat,  wanted  neither  food  nor  water,  or 
did  the  servant  imagine  what  could  possibly  ail  him.  And 
the  only  remedy  they  found  was,  to  set  him  to  hard  work, 
after  which  he  would  infallibly  come  to  himself."  To  this  I 
was  silent  out  of  partiality  to  my  own  kind;  yet  here  I 
could  plainly  discover  the  true  seeds  of  spleen,  which  only 
seizes  on  the  lazy,  the  luxurious,  and  the  rich ;  who,*  if  they 
were  forced  to  undergo  the  same  regimen,  I  would  under- 
take for  the  cure. 

His  honor  had  farther  observed,  ''that  a  female  Yahoo 
would  often  stand  behind  a  bank  or  a  bush,  to  gaze  on  the 
young  males  passing  by,  and  then  appear  and  hide,  using 
many  antic  gestures  and  grimaces,  at  which  time  it  was  ob- 
served that  she  had  a  most  offensive  smell;  and  Vv^hen  any 
of  the  males  advanced,  would  slowly  retire,  looking  often 
back,  and  with  a  counterfeit  show  of  fear,  run  off  into  some 
convenient  place,  where  she  knevv^  the  male  would  follow 
her. 

*'At  other  times,  if  a  female  stranger  came  among  them, 
three  or  four  of  her  own  sex  would  get  about  her,  and  stare, 

*  Here  the  word  "who,"  is  a  nominative  without  reference  to  any 
verb  afterward.— Sheridan. 

21 


32^  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

and  chatter,  and  grin,  and  smell  her  all  over ;  and  then  turn 
off  with  gestures,  that  seemed  to  express  contempt  and  dis- 
dain.'^ 

Perhaps  my  master  might  refine  a  little  in  these  specu- 
lations which  he  had  drawn  from  what  he  observed  himself, 
or  had  been  told  him  by  others;  however,  I  could  not  reflect 
without  some  amazement,  and  much  sorrow,  that  the  rudi- 
ments of  lewdness,  coquetry,  censure,  and  scandal,  should 
have  place  by  instinct  in  womankind, 

I  expected  every  moment  that  my  master  would  accuse 
the  Yahoos  of  those  unnatural  appetites  in  both  sexes,  so 
common  among  us.  But  nature,  it  seems,  has  not  been  so 
expert  a  school-mistress;  and  these  politer  pleasures  are  en- 
tirely the  productions  of  art  and  reason  on  our  side  of  the 
globe.* 

*  The  Duchess-dowager  of  Marlboroug-h  forgot  her  ancient  hatred 
of  Swift  when  she  found  him  a  sharer  in  her  misanthropy.  In  her 
pubhshed  opinions,  under  the  head  1736,  she  says,  "Dean  Swift  gives 
the  most  exact  account  of  kings,  ministers,  bishops,  and  courts  of  jus- 
tice, that  is  possible  to  be  writ.  He  has  certainly  a  vast  deal  of  wit. 
and  since  he  could  contribute  so  much  to  pulling  down  the  most  honest 
and  best  intentioned  ministry  that  I  ever  knew  (Queen  Anne's  Whig 
administration),  with  the  help  only  of  Abigail  (Mrs.  Masham),  and  one 
or  two  more,  and  has  certainly  stopped  the  finishing  stroke  to  ruin  the 
Irish  in  the  project  of  the  halfpence,  in  spite  of  all  the  ministry  could 
do,  I  cannot  help  wishing  that  we  had  had  his  assistance  in  the  oppo- 
sition; for  I  could  easily  forgive  him  all  the  slaps  he  has  given  me  and 
the  Duke  of  Marlborough,  and  have  thanked  him  heartily  whenever  he 
pleased  to  do  good.  I  never  saw  him  in  my  life;  and  though  his  writ- 
ings have  entertained  me  very  much,  yet  I  see  he  writes  sometimes  for 
interest,  for  In  his  books  he  gives  my  Lord  of  Oxford  so  great  a  char- 
acter as  if  he  was  speaking  of  Socrates  or  Marcus  Antoninus.  But 
when  I  am  dead,  the  reverse  of  that  character  will  come  out,  with 
vouchers  to  it  under  his  own  hand."  (The  Duchess  was  a  true  proph- 
etess, as  appears  from  Swift's  notes  on  Macky,  which  we  have  given 
in  the  Appendix  to  Lilliput.) 

Again,  under  the  same  head,  she  says,  "The  style  of  the  lord's  ad- 
dress puts  me  in  mind  of  Dean  Swift's  account,  who  I  am  prodigiously 
fond  of,  which  he  gives  of  the  manner  in  which  he  was  introduced  to 
the  King  of  Luggnagg."  And  again  she  records,  "I  most  heartily 
wish  that  in  this  park  I  had  some  of  the  breed  of  those  charming  crea- 
tures Swift  speaks  of,  and  calls  the  Houyhnhnms,  which  I  understand 
to  be  horses,  so  extremely  polite,  and  which  had  all  manner  of  good 
conversation,  good  principles,  and  that  never  told  a  lie,  and  charmed 
him  so,  that  he  could  not  endure  his  own  country  when  he  returned. 
He  says  there  is  a  sort  of  creature  there  called  Yahoo,  and  of  the  same 
species  with  us,  only  a  great  deal  ugher;  but  they  are  kept  tied  up: 
and  by  that  glorious  creature  the  horse,  are  not  permitted  to  do  any 
mischief;  I  really  have  not  been  pleased  so  much  a  long  time  as  with 
v/hat  he  writes."  Another  point  of  union  between  Swift  and  the 
Duchess  was  their  common  hatred  of  Sir  Robert  Walpole.  In  1735,  she 
writes,  "The  chief  must  have  great  talents,  or  he  could  not  have  com- 
passed what  he  has.  But  I  do  really  believe  that  there  never  was  an 
instance  in  any  government  of  so  much  brutality,  ill  principles,  and 
folly.  But  which  way  any  of  these  things  can  be  changed  I  cannot  yet 
see  into."  In  1739,  after  a  long  account  of  some  illness  which  Walpole 
had  she  adds:  "I  think  it  is  thought  a  fault  to  wish  anybody  dead 
but  I  hope  it  is  none  to  wish  he  might  be  hanged,  having  brought  to 
ruin  so  great  a  country  as  this  might  have  been. 


GULLIVEK'a  TRAVELS.  323 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  AUTHOR  RELATES  SEVERAL  PARTICULARS  OF  THE 
YAHOOS— THE  GREAT  VIRTUES  OF  THE  HOUYHNHNMS  - 
THE  EDUCATION  AND  EXERCISE  OF  THEIR  YOUTH  — 
THEIR  GENERAL  ASSEMBLY. 

Judging  that  I  ought  to  have  understood  human  nature 
much  better  than  I  supposed  it  possible  for  my  master  to  do, 
itw^'S.-Sasy-iQ  apply,  the  character  he  gave  of  the  Yahoos  to 
n}Xself_and  my  countrymen;  and  I  believed  I  could  yet 
niake  farther  discoveries,  from  my  own  observation.  I 
therefore  often  begged  his  honor  to  let  me  go  among  the 
herds  of  Yahoos  in  the  neighborhood;  to  which  he  always 
very  graciously  consented,  being  perfectly  convinced  that 
the  hatred  I  bore  these  brutes  would  never  suffer  me  to  be 
corrupted  by  them;  and  his  honor  ordered  one  of  his  ser- 
vants, a  strong  sorrel  nag,  very  honest  and  good-natured, 
to  be  my  guard;  without  whose  protection  I  durst  not 
undertake  such  adventures.  For  I  have  already  told  the 
reader  how  much  I  was  pestered  by  these  odious  animals, 
upon  my  first  arrival;  and  I  afterwards  failed  very  narrowly 
three  or  four  times  of  falling  into  their  clutches,  when  I  hap- 
pened to  stray  at  any  distance  without  my  hanger.  And  I 
have  reason  to  believe  they  had  some  imagination  that 
I  was  of  their  own  species,  which  I  often  assisted  myself 
by  stripping  up  my  sleeves,  and  showing  my  naked  arms 
and  breast  in  their  sight,  when  my  protector  was  with  me. 
At  which  time  they  would  approach  as  near  as  they  durst, 
and  imitate  my  actions  after  the  manner  of  monkeys,  but 
ever  with  great  signs  of  hatred;  as  a  tame  jackdaw  w^th 
cap  and  stockings  is  always  persecuted  by  the  wild  ones, 
when  he  happens  to  be  got  among  them. 

They  are  prodigiously  nimble  from  their  infancy.  How- 
ever, I  once  caught  a  young  male  of  three  years  old,  and 
endeavored,  by  all  marks  of  tenderness,  to  make  it  quiet; 
but  the  little  imp  fell  a  squalling,  and  scratching,  and  biting 
with  such  violence,  that  I  was  forced  to  let  it  go;  and  it  was 
high  time,  for  a  whole  troop  of  old  ones  came  about  us  at 
the  noise,  but  finding  the  cub  was  safe  (for  away  it  ran)^ 


324  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

and  my  sorrel  nag  being  by,  they  durst  not  venture  near 
us.  I  observed  the  young  animal's  flesh  to  smell  very  rank, 
and  the  stink  was  between  a  weasel  and  a  fox,  but  much 
more  disagreeable.  I  forgot  another  circumstance  (and  per- 
haps I  might  have  the  reader's  pardon  if  it  were  wholly 
omitted),  that  while  I  held  the  odious  vermin  in  my  hands, 
it  voided  its  filthy  excretions  of  a  yellow  liquiTi  substance  all 
over  my  clothes;  but  by  a  good  fortune  there  was  a  brook 
hard  by,  v/here  I  V\^ashed  myself  as  clean  as  I  could; 
although  I  durst  not  come  into  my  master's  presence  until 
I  was  sufficiently  aired. 
.  '"     By  what  I  could  discover,  the  Yahoos  appear  to  be  the 

Lmost  unteachable  of  all  animals;  their  capacities  never 
reaching  higher  than  to  draw  or  carQ^_buriiens.  Yet  I  am  of 
opinion,  that  defect  arises  chiefly  from  a  perverse,  restive 
disposition.  For  they  are  cunning,  malicious,  treacherous, 
and  revengeful.  They  are  strong  and  hardy,  but  of  a  cow- 
ardly spirit,  and  by  consequence  insolent,  abject,  and  cruel. 
It  is  observed,  that  the  red-haired  of  both  sexes  are  more 
libidinous  and  mischievous  tlian  the  rest,  whom  they  yet 
much  exceed  in  strength  and  activity. 

The  Houyhnhnms  keep  the  Yahoos  for  present  use,  in 
huts  not  far  from  the  house ;  but  the  rest  are  sent  abroad  to 
certain  fields,  where  they  dig  up  roots,  eat  several  kinds  of 
herbs,  and  search  about  for  carrion,  or  sometimes  catch 
weasels  and  "luhimuhs"  (a  sort  of  wild  rat),  which  they 
greedily  devour.  Nature  has  taught  them  to  dig  deep  holes 
with  their  nails  on  the  side  of  a  rising  ground,  wherein  they 
lie  by  themselves;  only  the  kennels  of  the  females  are  larger, 
sufficient  to  hold  two  or  three  cubs. 

They  swim  from  their  infancy  like  frogs,  and  are  able  to 
continue  long  under  water,  where  they  often  take  fish,  which 
the  females  carry  home  to  their  young.  And,  upon  this 
occasion,  I  hope  the  reader  will  pardon  my  relating  an  odd 
adventure. 

Being  one  day  abroad  with  my  protector,  the  sorrel  nag, 
and  the  weather  exceeding  hot,  I  entreated  him  to  let  me 
bathe  in  a  river  that  was  near.  He  consented,  and  I  im- 
m.ediately  stripped  myself  stark  naked,  and  went  down  softly 
into  the  stream.  It  happened  that  a  young  female  Yahoo 
standing  behind  a  bank,  saw  the  whole  proceeding,  and  in- 
flamed by  desire,  as  the  nag  and  I  conjectured,  came  run- 


GULLlVEirS  TRAVELS.  S25 

ning  with  all  speed,  and  leaped  into  the  water  within  five 
yards  of  the  place  where  I  bathed.  I  was  never  in  my  life 
so  terribly  frightened.  The  nag  was  grazing  at  some  dis- 
tance, not  suspecting  any  harm.  She  embraced  me  after  a 
most  fulsome  manner.  I  roared  as  loud  as  I  could,  and  the 
nag  came  galloping  towards  me,  whereupon  she  quitted  her 
grasp,  with  the  utmost  reluctancy,  and  leaped  upon  the  op- 
posite bank,  where  she  stood  gazing  and  howling  all  the 
time  I  was  putting  on  my  clothes. 

This  was  a  matter  of  diversion  to  my  master  and  his 
family,  as  well  as  of  mortification  to  myself.  Eor-Jiow  I- 
cquld  no  longer  deny  that  I  was  a  real  Yahoo  in  every  limb 
and  feature,  since  the  females  had  a  natural  propensity  to 
me,  as  one  of  their  own  species ;  neither  was  the  hair  of  this 
brute  of  a  red  color  (which  might  have  been  some  excuse  for 
an  appetite  a  little  irregular),  but  black  as  a  sloe,  and  her 
countenance  did  not  make  an  appearance  altogether  so 
hideous  as  the  rest  of  her  kind;  for  I  think  she  could  not  be 
above  eleven  years  old. 

Having  lived  three  years  in  this  country,  the  reader,  I 
suppose,  will  expect  that  I  should,  like  other  travelers,  give 
him  some  account  of  the  manners  and  customs  of  its  inhabi- 
tants, which  it  v/as,  indeed,  my  principal  study  to  learn. 

As  these  noble  Houyhnhnms  are  endowed  by  nature 
with  a  general  disposition  to  all  virtues,  and  have  no  concep- 
tions or  ideas  of  what  is  evil  in  a  rational  creature ;  so  their 
grand  maxim  is  to  cultivate  reason,  and  to  be  wholly  gov- 
erned by  it.  Neither  is  reason  among  them  a  point  problem- 
atical, as  with  us,  Vv^here  men  can  argue  with  plausibility  on 
both  sides  of  the  question ;  but  strikes  you  with  immediate 
conviction,  as  it  must  needs  do,  where  it  is  not  mingled^  ob- 
scured or  discolored,  by  passion  and  interest.  I  remember 
it  was  with  extreme  difficulty  that  I  could  bring  my  master 
to  understand  the  meaning  of  the  word  opinion,  or  how  a 
point  could  be  disputable;  because  reason  taught  us  to  af- 
firm or  deny,  only  where  we  are  certain;  and  beyond  our 
knowledge  we  cannot  do  either.  So  that  controversies, 
wranglings,  disputes,  and  positiveness,  in  false  or  dubious 
propositions,  are  evils  unknown  among  the  Houyhnhnms. 
In  the  like  manner,  when  I  used  to  explain  to  him  our  sev- 
eral systems  of  natural  philosophy,  he  would  laugh,  ''that  a 
creature  pretending  to  reason,  should  value  itself  upon  the 


S26  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

knowledge  of  other  people's  conjectures,  and  in  things 
where  that  knowledge,  if  it  were  certain,  could  be  of  no  use." 
Wherein  he  agreed  entirely  with  the  sentiments  of  Socrates, 
as  Plato  delivers  them;  which  I  mentioned  as  the  highest 
honor  I  can  do  that  prince  of  philosophers.  I  have  often 
since  reflected,  what  destruction  such  doctrines  would  make 
in  the  libraries  of  Europe;  and  how  many  paths  of  fame 
would  be  then  shut  up  in  the  learned  world. 

Friendship  and  benevolence  are  two  principal  virtues 
among  the  Houyhnhnms;  and  these  are  not  confined  to 
particular  objects,  but  universal  to  the  whole  race.  For  a 
stranger  from  the  remotest  part  is  equally  treated  with  the 
nearest  neighbor;  and  wherever  he  goes,  looks  upon  him- 
self as  at  home.  They  preserve  decency  and  civility  in  the 
highest  degrees,  but  are  altogether  ignorant  of  ceremony. 
They  have  no  fondness  for  their  colts  or  foals,  but  "the  care 
they  take  in  educating  them  proceeds  entirely  from  the  dic- 
tates_j:ilJxas.on-  And  I  observed  my  master  to  show  the 
_same  affection  for  his  neighbor's  issue,  that  he  had  for  hij 
^own.  They  will  have  it  that  nature  teaches  them  to  love 
:he  whole  species,  and  it  is  reason  only  that  makes  a  distinc- 
ion  of  persons,  where  there  is  a  superior  degree  of  virtue.^ 

When  the  matron  Houyhnhnms  have  produced  one  "of 
each  sex,  they  no  longer  accompany  with  their  consorts, 
except  they  lose  one  of  their  issue  by  some  casuality,  which 
veiy  seldom  happens;  but  in  such  a  case  they  meet  again; 
or  when  the  like  accident  befalls  a  person  whose  wife  is  past 
bearing,  some  other  couple  bestow  on  him  one  of  their  own 
colts,  and  then  go  together  again  until  the  mother  is  preg- 
nant. This  caution  is  necessary,  to  prevent  the  country  from 
being  overburdened  with  numbers.  But  the  race  of  in- 
ferior Houyhnhnms  bred  up  to  be  servants,  is  not  strictly 
limited  upon  this  article;  these  are  allowed  to  produce  three 
of  each  sex,  to  be  domestics  in  the  noble  families. 

In  their  marriages,  they  were  exactly  careful  to  choose 
such  colors  as  will  not  make  any  disagreeable  mixture  in  the 
breed.  Strength  is  chiefly  valued  in  the  male,  and  comeli- 
ness in  the  female ;  not  upon  the  account  of  love,  but  to  pre- 
serve the  race  from  degenerating;  for  where  a  female  hap- 
pens to  excel  in  strength,  a  consort  is  chosen  with  regard  to 
comeliness. 

Courtship,  love,  presents,  jointures,  settlements,  have  no 


A 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  327 

place  in  their  thoughts;  or  terms  whereby  to  express  them 
in  their  language.  The  young  couple  meet,  and  are  joined, 
merely  because  it  is  the  determination  of  their  parents  and 
h'iends;  it  is  what  they  see  done  every  day,  and  they  look 
upon  it  as  one  of  the  necessary  actions  of  a  reasonable  being. 
But  the  violation  of  marriage,  or  any  other  unchastity,  was 
never  heard  of,  and  the  married  pair  pass  their  lives  with  the 
same  friendship  and  mutual  benevolence  that  they  bear  to 
all  others  of  the  same  species  who  come  in  their  way;  with- 
out jealousy,  fondness,  quarrening\,_ordiscontent. 

In  educating  the  youth  otj^pthsexes^their  method  is  ad- 
m.irable,  and  highly  deserves  our  nnitation.  These  are  not 
suffered  to  taste  a  grain  of  oats,  except  upon  certain  days, 
till  eighteen  years  old;  nor  milk,  but  very  rarely;'  and  in 
summer  they  graze  two  hours  in  the  morning,  and  as  many 
in  the  evening,  which  their  parents  likewise  observe ;  but  the 
servants  are  not  allowed  above  half  that  time,  and  a  great 
part  of  their  grass  is  brought  home,  which  they  eat  at  the 
most  convenient  hours,  when  they  can  be  best  spared  from 
work. 

Temperance,  industry,  exercise,  and  cleanliness,  are  the 
lessons  equally  enjoined  to  the  young  ones  of  both  sexes; 
and  my  master  thought  it  monstrous  in  us,  to  give  the  fe- 
males a  different  kind  of  education  from  the  males,  except 
in  some  article  of  domestic  management;  whereby,  as  he 
truly  observed,  one  half  of  our  natives  were  good  for  noth- 
ing but  bringing  children  into  the  world:  and  to  trust  the 
care  of  our  children  to  such  useless  animals,  he  said,  was 
yet  a  greater  instance  of  brutality. 

But  the  Houyhnhnms  train  up  their  youths  to  strength, 
speed,  and  hardiness,  by  exercising  them  in  running  races 
up  and  down  steep  hills,  and  over  hard  stony  grounds;  and 
when  they  are  all  in  a  sweat  they  are  ordered  to  leap  over 
head  and  ears  into  a  pond  or  river.  Four  times  a  year  the 
youth  of  a  certain  district  meet  to  show  their  proficiency  in 
running  and  leaping,  and  other  feats  of  strength  and  agility; 
where  the  victor  is  rewarded  with  a  song  in  his  or  her  praise. 
On  this  festival,  the  servants  drive  a  herd  of  Yahoos  into  the 
field,  laden  with  hay,  and  oats,  and  milk,  for  a  repast  to  the 
Houyhnhnms,  after  which  these  brutes  are  immediately 
driven  back  again,  for  fear  of  being  noisome  to  the  assembly. 

Every  fourth  year,  at  the  vernal  equinox,  there  is  a  rep- 


32»  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

resentative  council  of  the  whole  nation,  which  meets  in  a 
plain  about  twenty  miles  from  our  house,  and  continues 
about  five  or  six  days.  Here  they  inquire  into  the  state 
and  condition  of  the  several  districts;  whether  they  abound 
or  be  deficient  in  hay,  or  oats,  or  cows,  or  Yahoos;  and 
wherever  there  is  any  want  (which  is  but  seldom)  it  is  im- 
mediately supplied  by  unanimous  consent  and  contribution. 
Here  likewise  the  regulation  of  children  is  settled;  as  for  in- 
stance, if  a  Houyhnhnm  has  two  males,  he  changes  one  of 
them  with  another  that  has  two  females;  and  when  a  child 
has  been  lost  by  any  casualty,  where  the  mother  is  past 
breeding,  it  is  determined  what  family  in  the  district  shall 
breed  another  to  supply  the  loss.* 

*  Bishop  Warburton,  in  a  work  originally  published  anonymously, 
gives  the  following-  severe  review  of  Swift:  "The  religious  author  of 
the  'Tale  of  a  Tub'  will  tell  you  religion  is  but  a  reservoir  for  fools  and 
madmen;  and  the  virtuous  Lemuel  Gulliver  will  answer  for  the  state, 
that  it  is  a  den  of  savages  and  cut-throats.  Let  it  be  as  they  say  tha^t 
ridicule  and  satire  are  the  siapplement  of  public  laws,  should  not  then 
the  ends  of  both  be  the  same — the  benefit  of  mankind?  But  where  is 
the  sense  of  a  general  satire,  if  the  whole  species  be  degenerated?  And 
where  is  the  justice  of  it  if  it  be  not?  The  punishment  of  lunatics  is 
as  wise  as  the  one,  and  a  general  execution  as  honest  as  the  other; 
in  short,  a  general  satire  is  the  work  only  of  ill  men  or  little  geniuses. 
The  immortal  Socrates  employed  his  wit  to  better  nurpose;  his  vein 
was  rich  but  frugal;  he  thought  the  laugh  came  too  dear  when  bought 
at  the  expense  of  probity,  and  therefore  laid  it  all  out  in  the  improve- 
ment and  reform  of  manners.  But,  not  to  be  partial  to  antiquity,  it 
must  be  owned  that  even  then,  for  one  Socrates  to  reform,  it  had  a 
Democritus  to  sneer,  a  Diogenes  to  snarl,  nay,  even  an  Heraclitus  to 
weep,  at  human  obliquity.  So  much  easier  has  it  always  been  to  in- 
vent a  false  philosophy  on  the  credit  of  a  prevailing  passion  than  to 
use  even  the  first  principles  of  reason  to  curb  and  restrain  it.  And 
here  it  is  well  worth  observing  that  he  of  all  those  whom  the  world 
treated  most  severely,  was  the  reformer;  as  he  who  most  grossly 
abused  his  reason,  even  to  the  arguing  against  geometrical  demonstra- 
tion, was  the  scoffer.  Again  at  the  revival  of  letters,  a  second  So- 
crates arose  in  Erasmus,  a  Democritus  in  Rabelais,  and  a  Diogenes  in 
Peter  Aretin.  And  again,  the  well-directed  raillery  of  the  great  re- 
former drew  down  against  its  author  more  enemies  than  did  all  the 
filth,  scurrility,  and  impieties  of  the  buffoon  and  cynic." — A  Critical 
Enquiry  into  Prodigies,  etc.,  pp.  32-34,  London,  1727. 

Bishop  Percy,  late  Bishop  of  Dromore,  in  one  of  his  unpublished 
MSS.,  makes  the  following  comment  on  the  description  of  the  Houy- 
hnhnms  and  their  policy:  "That  which  surprises  me  most  in  the 
Dean's  work  is  his  forgetting  himself  so  much  in  his  haste  as  to  leave 
religion  out  of  the  idea  of  a  perfect  republic.  Since  he  gave  reason  to 
his  horses,  he  might  consistently  enough  have  given  them  a  little 
natural  religion. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  329 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  GRAND  DEBATE  AT  THE  GENERAL  ASSEMBLY  OP  THE 
HOUYHNHNMS,  AND  HOW  IT  WAS  DETERMINED  —  THE 
LEARNING  OP  THE  HOUYHNHNMS— THEIR  BUILDINGS— 
THEIR  MANNER  OP  BURIALS  —  THE  DEFECTIVENESS  OP 
THEIR  LANGUAGE. 

Unanimity  generally  prevails  in  the  decisions  of  the  coun- 
cils of  the  Houyhnhnms,  even  when  the  members  come  to- 
gether with  different  opinions,  for  no  Houyhnhnm  is 
ashamed  to  become  a  convert  to  reason  and  argument.  One 
ol  these  grand  assemblies  was  held  in  my  time,  about  three 
months  before  my  departure,  whither  my  master  went  as 
the  representative  of  our  district.  In  this  council  was  re- 
sumed their  old  debate,  and  indeed  the  only  debate  that- 
ever  happened  in  their  country;  whereof  my  master,  after 
his  return,  gave  me  a  very  particular  account. 

The  question  to  be  debated  was,  ''whether  the  Yahoos 
should  be  exterminated  from  the  face  of  the  earth?"  One 
of  the  members  for  the  affirmative  offered  several  argu- 
ments of  great  strength  and  weight,  alleging,  "that  as  the 
Yahoos  v/ere  the  most  filthy,  noisome,  and  deformed  ani- 
mal which  nature  ever  produced,  so  they  were  the  most 
restive  and  indocible,  mischievous  and  malicious;  they 
would  privately  suck  the  teats  of  the  Houyhnhnms'  cows, 
kill  and  devour  their  cats,  trample  down  their  oats  and 
grass,  if  they  were  not  continually  watched,  and  commit  a 
thousand  other  extravagances."  He  took  notice  of  a  gen- 
eral tradition  "that  Yahoos  had  not  been  always  in  their 
country;  but  that,  many  ages  ago,  tvv^o  of  these  brutes  ap- 
peared together  upon  a  mountain;  whether  produced  by 
the  heat  of  the  sun  upon  corrupted  mud  and  slime,  or  from 
the  ooze  and  froth  of  the  sea,  was  never  known;  that  these 
Yahoos  engendered,  and  their  brood,  in  a  short  time,  grew 
so  numerous  as  to  overrun  and  infest  the  whole  nation; 
that  the  Houyhnhnms,  to  get  rid  of  this  evil,  made  a  gen- 
eral hunting,  and  at  last  inclosed  the  whole  herd;  and  de- 
stroying the  elder,  every  Houyhnhnm  kept  two  young  ones 
in  a  kennel,  and  brought  them  to  such  a  degree  of  tameness, 


3S0  cfULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

as  an  animal,  so  savage  by  nature,  can  be  capable  of  ac- 
quiring; using  them  for  draught  and  carriage;  that  there 
seemed  to  be  much  truth  in  this  tradition,  and  that  those 
creatures  could  not  be  ylnhniamshy  (or  aborigines  of  the 
land),  because  of  the  violent  hatred  the  Houyhnhnms,  as 
well  as  all  other  animals  bore  them,  which,  although  their 
evil  disposition  sufBciently  deserved,  could  never  have  ar- 
rived at  so  high  a  degree,  if  they  had  been  aborigines;  or 
else  they  would  have  long  since  been  rooted  out;  that  the 
inhabitants,  taking  a  fancy  to  use  the  service  of  the  Yahoos, 
had  very  imprudently  neglected  to  cultivate  the  breed  of 
asses,  which  are  a  comely  animal,  easily  kept,  more  tame 
and  orderly,  without  any  offensive  smell;  strong  enough 
for  labor,  although  they  yield  to  the  other  in  agility  of 
body;  and  if  their  braying  be  no  agreeable  sound,  it  is  far 
preferable  to  the  horrible  bowlings  of  the  Yahoos." 

Several  others  declared  their  sentiments  to  the  same  pur- 
pose, when  my  master  proposed  an  expedient  to  the  as- 
sembly, whereof  he  had  indeed  borrowed  the  hint  from  me. 
''He  approved  of  the  tradition  mentioned  by  the  honorable 
member  who  spoke  before,  and  affirmed,  that  the  two  Ya- 
hoos said  to  be  seen  first  among  them,  had  been  driven 
thither  over  the  sea;  that  coming  to  land,  and  being  for- 
saken by  their  companions,  they  retired  to  the  mountains, 
and  degenerating  by  degrees,  became  in  process  of  time 
much  more  savage  than  those  of  their  own  species  in  the 
country  whence  these  two  originals  came.  The  reason  of 
this  assertion  was,  that  he  had  now  in  his  possession  a  cer- 
tain wonderful  Yahoo  (meaning  myself),  which  most  of 
them  had  heard  of,  and  many  of  them  had  seen.  He  then 
related  to  them  how  he  first  found  me;  that  my  body  was 
all  covered  with  an  artificial  composure  of  the  skins  and 
hairs  of  other  animals;  that  I  spoke  in  a  language  of  my 
own,  and  had  thoroughly  learned  theirs;  that  I  had  related 
to  him  the  accidents  which  brought  me  thither;  that  when 
he  saw  me  without  my  covering,  I  was  an  exact  Yahoo  in 
every  part,  only  with  a  whiter  color,  less  hairy,  and  with 
shorter  clav/s.  He  added  how  I  had  endeavored  to  per- 
suade him,  that  in  my  own  and  other  countries,  the  Yahoos 
acted  as  the  governing,  rational  animal,  and  held  the  Hou- 
yhnhnms in  servitude;  that  he  observed  in  me  all  the  quali- 
ties of  a  Yahoo,  only  a  little  more  civilized  by  some  tincture 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  331 

of  reason,  which,  however,  was  in  a  degree  as  far  inferior  to 
the  Houyhnhnm  race,  as  the  Yahoos  of  their  country  were 
to  me;  that  among  other  things  I  mentioned  a  custom  we 
had  of  castrating  Houyhnhnms  when  they  were  young,  in 
order  to  render  them  tame;  that  the  operation  was  easy 
and  safe;  that  it  was  no  shame  to  learn  wisdom  from  brutes, 
as  industry  is  taught  by  the  ant,  and  building  by  the  swal- 
low (for  so  I  translate  the  word  lyhannh,  although  it  be  a 
much  larger  fowl);  that  this  invention  might  be  practiced 
upon  the  younger  Yahoos  here,  which,  beside  rendering 
them  tractable  and  fitter  for  use,  w^ould  in  an  age  put  an 
end  to  the  whole  species,  without  destroying  life;  that  in 
the  meantime  the  Houyhnhnms  should  be  exhorted  to  cul- 
tivate the  breed  of  asses,  which,  as  they  are  in  all  respects 
more  valuable  brutes,  so  they  have  this  advantage,  to  be  fit 
for  service  at  five  years  old,  which  the  others  are  not  till 
twelve." 

This  was  all  my  master  thought  fit  to  tell  me  at  that  time, 
of  what  passed  in  the  grand  council.  But  he  was  pleased 
to  conceal  one  particular,  which  related  personally  to  my- 
self, whereof  I  soon  felt  the  unhappy  effect,  as  the  reader 
will  know  in  its  proper  place,  and  whence  I  date  all  the  suc- 
ceeding misfortunes  of  my  life. 

The  Houyhnhnms  have  no  letters,  and  consequently  their 
knowledge  is  all  traditional.  But  there  happening  few 
events  of  any  moment  among  the  people  so  well  united, 
naturally  disposed  of  evervvirtue.  wholly  governed  by  rea- 
son, and  cut  off  from  alT  commerce  with  other  nations;  the 
historical  part  is  easily  preserved  without  burdening  their 
memories.  I  have  already  observed  that  they  are  subject 
to  no  diseases,  and  therefore  can  have  no  need  of  physi- 
cians. However,  they  have  excellent  medicines,  composed 
of  herbs,  to  cure  accidental  bruises  and  cuts  in  the  pastern 
or  frog  of  the  foot,  by  sharp  stones,  as  well  as  other  maims 
and  hurts  in  the  several  parts  of  the  body. 

They  calculate  the  year  by  the  revolution  of  the  sun  and 
the  moon,  but  use  no  subdivisions  into  weeks.  They  are 
well  enough  acquainted  with  the  motion  of  those  two  lu- 
minaries, and  understand  the  nature  of  eclipses;  and  this  is 
the  utmost  progress  of  their  astronomy. 

In  poetry,  they  must  be  allowed  to  excel  all  other  mor- 
tals; wherein  the  justness  of  their  similes,  and  the  minute- 


332  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ness  as  well  as  exactness  of  their  descriptions,  are  indeed 
inimitable.  Their  verses  abound  very  much  in  both  of 
these,  and  usually  contain  either  some  exalted  notions  of 
friendship  and  benevolence,  or  the  praises  of  those  who 
were  victors  in  races  and  other  bodily  exercises.  Their 
buildings,  although  very  rude  and  simple,  are  not  incon- 
venient but  well  contrived  to  defend  them  from  all  injuries 
of  cold  and  heat.  They  have  a  kind  of  tree,  which  at  forty 
years  old  lessens  in  the  root,  and  falls  with  the  first  storm; 
it  grows  very  straight,  and  being  pointed  like  stakes  with  a 
sharp  stone  (for  the  Houyhnhnms  know  not  the  use  of 
iron),  they  stick  them  erect  in  the  ground,  about  ten  inches 
asunder,  and  then  weave  in  oat-straw,  or  sometimes  wattles 
betv/een  them.  The  roof  is  made  after  the  same  manner, 
and  so  are  the  doors. 

The  Houyhnhnms  use  the  hollow  part,  between  the  pas- 
tern and  the  hoof  of  the  forefoot,  as  we  do  our  hands,  and 
this  with  greater  dexterity  than  I  could  at  first  imagine.  I 
have  seen  a  white  mare  of  our  family  thread  a  needle  (which 
I  lent  her  on  purpose)  with  that  joint.  They  m^ilk  their 
cows,  reap  their  oats,  and  do  all  the  work  which  requires 
hands,  in  the  same  manner.  They  have  a  kind  of  hard 
flints,  which  by  grinding  against  other  stones,  they  form 
into  instruments,  that  serve  instead  of  wedges,  axes,  and 
hammers.  With  tools  made  of  these  flints,  they  likewise 
cut  their  hay,  and  reap  their  oats,  Vv^hich  there  grow  natur- 
ally in  several  fields;  the  Yahoos  draw  home  the  sheaves 
in  carriages,  and  the  servants  tread  them  in  certain  covered 
huts  to  get  out  the  grain,  which  is  kept  in  stores.  They 
make  a  rude  kind  of  earthen  and  wooden  vessels,  and  bake 
the  former  in  the  sun. 

If  they  can  avoid  casualties,  they  die  only  of  old  age,  and 
are  buried  in  the  obscurest  places  that  can  be  found,  their 
friends  and  relations  expressing  neither  joy  nor  grief_at 
th_drjde£arture ;  nor  does  the  dying  person  discover  the 
least  regret  that  he  is  leaving  the  world,  any  more  than  if 
he  were  vipon  returning  home  from  a  visit  to  one  of  his 
neighbors.  I  remember  my  master  having  once  made  an 
appointment  with  a  friend  and  his  family  to  come  to  his 
house,  upon  some  affair  of  importance:  on  the  day  fixed, 
the  mistress,  and  her  two  children  came  very  late;  she  made 
two  excuses,  first  for  her  husband,  who,  as  she  said,  hap- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  3S3 

pened  that  very  morning  to  Ihnuwnh.  The  word  is  strong- 
ly expressive  in  their  language,  but  not  easily  rendered  into 
English;  it  signifies,  ''to  retire  to  his  first  mother."  Her 
excuse  for  not  coming  sooner,  was,  that  her  husband  dying 
late  in  the  morning,  she  was  a  good  while  consulting  her 
servants  about  a  convenient  place  where  his  body  should 
be  laid;  and  I  observed,  she  behaved  herself  at  our  house 
as  cheerfully  as  the  rest;  she  died  about  three  months  after. 

They  live  generally  to  seventy  or  seventy-five  years,  very 
seldom  to  fourscore:  some  weeks  before  their  death,  they 
feel  a  gradual  decay;  but  without  pain.  During  this  time 
they  are  much  visited  by  their  friends,  because  they  cannot 
go  abroad  with  their  usual  ease  and  satisfaction.  How- 
ever, about  ten  days  before  their  death,  which  they  seldom 
fail  in  computing,  they  return  the  visits  that  have  been  made 
them  by  those  who  are  nearest  in  the  neighborhood,  being 
carried  in  a  convenient  sledge  drawn  by  Yahoos,  which 
vehicle  they  use,  not  only  upon  this  occasion,  but  when 
they  grow  old,  upon  long  journeys,  or  when  they  are  lamed 
by  an  accident;  and  therefore,  when  the  dying  Houyhn- 
hnms  return  those  visits,  they  take  a  solemn  leave  of  their 
friends,  as  if  they  were  going  to  some  remote  part  of  the 
country  where  they  designed  to  pass  the  rest  of  their  lives. 

I  know  not  whether  it  may  be  worth  observing  that  the 
Houyhnhnms  have  no  word  in  their  language  to  express 
anything  that  is  evil,  except  what  they  borrow  from  the  de- 
formities or  ill  qualities  of  the  Yahoos.  Thus,  they  denote 
the  folly  of  a  servant,  an  omission  of  a  child,  a  stone  that 
cuts  their  feet,  a  continuance  of  foul  or  unreasonable 
weather,  and  the  like,  by  adding  to  each  the  epithet  of  Ya- 
hoo. For  instance,  hhnm  Yahoo,  whnaholm  Yahoo,  ynlh- 
mndwihlma  Yahoo,  and  an  ill-contrived  house  ynholmhnm- 
rohlnw  Yahoo. 

I  could,  with  great  pleasure,  enlarge  farther  upon  the 
manners  and  virtues  of  this  excellent  people;  but  intending 
in  a  short  time  to  publish  a  volume  by  itself,  expressly  upon 
that  subject,  I  refer  the  reader  thither;  and,  in  the  mean- 
time, proceed  to  relate  my  own  sad  catastrophe. 


334  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE  AUTHOR'S  ECONOMY  AND  HAPPY  LIFE  AMONG  THE 
HOUYHNHNMS— HIS  GREAT  IMPROVEMENT  IN  VIRTUE  BY 
CONVERSING  WITH  THEM— THEIR  CONVERSATIONS— THE 
AUTHOR  HAS  NOTICE  GIVEN  HIM  BY  HIS  MASTER  THAT 
HE  MUST  DEPART  FROM  THE  COUNTRY— HE  FALLS  INTO 
A  SWOON  FOR  GRIEF,  BUT  SUBMITS— HE  CONTRIVES  AND 
FINISHES  A  CANOE  BY'  THE  HELP  OF  A  FELLOW 
SERVANT,  AND  PUTS  TO  SEA  AT  A  VENTURE. 

Just  at  this  time  I  had  settled  my  Httle  economy  to  my 
own  heart's  content.  My  master  had  ordered  a  room  to 
be  made  for  me,  after  their  manner,  about  six  yards  from 
the  house:  the  sides  and  floors  of  which  I  plastered  with 
clay,  and  covered  with  rushmats  of  my  own  contriving;  I 
had  beaten  hemp,  which  there  grows  wild,  and  made  of  it 
a  sort  of  ticking;  this  I  filled  with  the  feathers  of  several 
birds  I  had  taken  with  springes  made  of  Yahoos'  hairs,  and* 
were  excellent  food.  I  had  worked  two  chairs  with  my 
knife,  the  sorrel  nag  helping  me  in  the  grosser  and  more 
laborious  part.  When  my  clothes  were  worn  to  rags,  I 
made  myself  others  with  the  skins  of  rabbits,  and  of  a  cer- 
tain beautiful  animal,  about  the  same  size,  called  nnuhnoh, 
the  skin  of  which  is  covered  with  a  fine  down.  Of  these 
I  also  made  very  tolerable  stockings.  I  soled  my  shoes 
with  wood,  which  I  cut  from  a  tree,  and  fitted  to  the  upper 
leather;  and  when  this  was  worn  out,  I  supplied  it  with  the 
skins  of  Yahoos  dried  in  the  sun.  I  often  got  honey  out  of 
hollow  trees  which  I  mingled  with  water,  or  ate  with  my 
bread.  No  man  could  more  verify  the  truth  of  these  two 
maxims,  "That  nature  is  very  easily  satisfied;"  and,  "That 
necessity  is  the  mother  of  invention."  I  enjoyed  perfect 
health  of  body,  and  tranquilHty  of  mind;  I  did  not  feel  the 
treachery  or  inconstancy  of  a  friend,  nor.  the  injuries  of  a 
secret  or  open  enemy.    I  had  no  occasion  of  bribing,  fiat- 

*  It  should  be,— and  "which"  were  excellent  food.  This  sentence  is 
faulty  in  other  respects;  but  there,  as  well  as  in  other  passages  of 
these  Voyag-es,  the  author  has  intentionally  made  use  of  inaccurate 
expression  and  studied  negligence,  In  order  to  make  the  style  more 
like  that  of  a  seafaring  man :  on  which  account  they  have  been  passed 
over  in  silence^  where  such  intention  was  obvious,— Sheridan* 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  335 

tering,  or  pimping,  to  procure  the  favor  of  any  great  man, 
or  of  his  minion.  I  wanted  no  fence  against  fraud  or  op- 
pression: here  was  neither  physician  to  destroy  my  body, 
nor  lawyer  to  ruin  my  fortune;  no  informer  to  watch  my 
words  and  actions,  or  forge  accusations  against  me  for  hire; 
here  were  no  gibers,  censurers,  backbiters,  pickpockets, 
highwaymen,  housebreakers,  attorneys,  bawds,  bufifoons, 
gamesters,  poHticians,  wits,  splenetics,  tedious  talkers;  con- 
trovertists,  ravishers,  murderers,  robbers,  virtuosoes;  no 
leaders,  or  followers,  of  party  and  faction;  no  encouragers 
to  vice,  by  seducement  or  example;  no  dungeon,  axes,  gib- 
bets, whipping-posts,  or  pillories;  no  cheating  shopkeep- 
ers or  mechanics;  no  pride,  vanity,  or  affectation;  no  fops, 
bullies,  drunkards,  strolling  whores,  or  poxes;  no  ranting, 
lewd,  expensive  wives;  no  stupid,  proud  pedants;  no  im- 
portunate, overbearing,  quarrelsome,  noisy,  roaring,  empty, 
conceited  swearing  companions;  no  scoundrels  raised  from 
the  dust  upon  the  merits  of  their  vices,  or  nobility  thrown 
into  it  on  account  of  their  virtues;  no  lords,  fiddlers,  judges, 
or  dancing-masters. 

I  had  the  favor  of  being  admitted  to  several  Houyhn- 
hnms  who  carne  to  visit  or  dine  with  my  master;  where  his 
honor  graciously  suffered  me  to  wait  in  the  room,  and  listen 
to  their  discourse.  Both  he  and  his  companion  would  often 
descend  to  ask  me  questions,  and  receive  my  answers. 
I  had  also  sometimes  the  honor  of  attending  my  master  in 
his  visits  to  others.  I  never  presumed  to  speak,  except  in 
answer  to  a  question ;  and  then  I  did  it  with  inward  regret, 
because  it  was  a  loss  of  so  much  time  for  improving  myself: 
but  I  was  infinitely  delighted  with  the  station  of  an  humble 
auditor  in  such  conversations,  where  nothing  passed  but 
what  was  useful,  expressed  in  the  fewest  and  most  signifi- 
cant words:  where,  as  I  have  already  said,  the  greatest  de- 
cency was  observed  without  the  least  degree  of  ceremony; 
where  no  person  spoke  without  being  pleased  himself,  and 
pleasing  his  companions;  where  there  was  no  interruption, 
tediousness,  heat,  or  difference  of  sentiments.  They  have 
a  notion,  that  when  people  are  met  together,  a  short  silence 
does  much  improve  conversation;  this  I  found  to  be  true; 
for  during  those  little  intermissions  of  talk,  new  ideas  would 
arise  in  their  minds,  which  very  much  enlivened  the  dis- 
course.    Their  subjects  are   generally  on  friendship  and 


336  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

benevolence,  on  order  and  economy;  sometimes  upon  the 
visible  operations  of  nature,  or  ancient  traditions;  upon  the 
bonds  and  limits  of  virtue;  upon  the  unerring  rules  of  rea- 
son, or  upon  some  determinations  to  be  taken  at  the  next 
assembly;  and  often  upon  the  various  excellences  of  poetry. 
I  may  add,  without  vanity,  that  my  presence  often  gave 
them  sufficient  matter  for  discourse,  because  it  afforded  my 
master  an  occasion  of  letting  his  friends  into  the  history  of 
me  and  my  country,  upon  which  they  were  all  pleased  to 
descant,  in  a  manner  not  very  advantageous  to  humankind ; 
and  for  that  reason  I  shall  not  repeat  Vv^hat  they  said:  only 
I  may  be  allowed  to  observe,  that  his  honor,  to  my  great 
admiration,  appeared  to  understand  the  nature  of  Yahoos 
much  better  than  myself.  He  went  through  all  our  vices 
and  follies,  and  discovered  many,  which  I  had  never  men- 
tioned to  him,  by  only  supposing  what  qualities  a  Yahoo  of 
their  country,  with  a  small  proportion  of  reason,  might  be 
capable  of  exerting;  and  concluded,  with  too  much  proba- 
bility, "of  how  vile,  as  well  as  miserable  such  a  creature 
must  be." 

''I  freely  confess,  that  all  the  little  knowledge  I  have  of 
any  value,  was  acquired  by  the  lectures  I  received  from  my 
master,  and  from  hearing  the  discourses  of  him  and  his 
friends;  to  which  I  should  be  prouder  to  listen,  than  to  dic- 
tate to  the  greatest  and  wisest  assembly  in  Europe.  I  ad- 
mired the  strength,  comeliness,  and  speed  of  the  inhabit- 
ants; and  such  a  constellation  of  virtues,  in  such  amiable 
persons,  produced  in  me  the  highest  veneration.  At  first, 
indeed,  I  did  not  feel  that  natural  awe,  which  the  Yahoos 
and  all  other  animals  bear  tow'anJs'them;  but  it  grew  upon 
me  by  degrees,  much  sooner  than  I  imagined,  and  was 
mingled  with  a  respectful  love  and  gratitude,  that  they 
woutcl"  condescend  to  distinguish  me  from  the  rest  of  my 
specter:  ■ 

"^*When  I  thought  of  my  family,  my  friends,  my  country- 
men, or  the  human  race  in  general,  I  considered  them,  as 
they  really  were.  Yahoos  in  shape  and  disposition,  perhaps 
a  jittle  more  civilized,  and  qualified  with  the  gift  of  speech ; 
but  making^  no  other  use  of  reason  than  to  improve  and 
multiply  those  \d££54.  vvlierebf  their  bfeThrenTn^HTs'Tcmntry 
had  only  the  share  that  nature  allotted  them.  When  I  hap- 
pened to  behold  the  reflection  of  my  own  form  in  a  lake  or 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  337 

a  fountain,  I  ttmiei^av^t^on^^ Jace_ki  h  detesta- 

tion oJ_myse]f;  and  conlcl  better  endure  the  sight  of  a  coni- 
mo'nXS^^oos  than  of  my  own  person.  By  conversing  with 
the  Houyhnhnms  and  looking  upon  them  with  dehght,  I 
fell  to  imitate  their  gait  and  gestures,  which  is  now  grown 
into  a  habit;  and  my  friends  often  tell  me,  in  a  blunt  way, 
"that  I  trot  like  a  horse,"  which,  however,  I  take  for  a  great 
compliment;  neither  shall  I  disown,  that  in  speaking  I  am 
apt  to  fall  into  the  voice  and  m^anner  of  the  Houyhnhnms, 
and  hear  myself  ridiculed  on  that  account,  without  the  least 
mortification. 

In  the  midst  of  all  this  happiness,  and  when  I  looked 
upon  myself  to  be  fully  settled  for  life,  my  master  sent  for 
me  one  morning  a  little  earher  than  his  usual  hour;  I  ob- 
served by  his  countenance  that  he  was  in  some  perplexity, 
and  at  a  loss  how  to  begin  what  he  had  to  speak.  After  a 
short  silence  he  told  me,  ''he  did  not  know  how  I  would 
take  what  he  was  going  to  say:  that  in  the  last  general  as- 
sembly, when  the  affair  of  the  Yahoos  was  entered  upon, 
the  representatives  had  taken  offense  at  his  keeping  a  Ya- 
hoo (meaning  myself)  in  his  family,  more  like  a  Houyhn- 
hnm  than  a  brute  animal;  that  he  was  known  frequently  to 
converse  with  me,  as  if  he  could  receive  some  advantage  or 
pleasure  in  my  company;  that  such  a  practice  was  not  agree- 
able to  reason  or  nature,  or  a  thing  ever  heard  of  before 
among  them ;  the  assembly  did  therefore  exhort  him  either 
to  employ  me  like  the  rest  of  my  species,  or  command  me 
to  swim  back  to  the  place  whence  I  came:  that  the  first  of 
these  expedients  was  utterly  rejected  by  all  the  Houyhn- 
hnms who  had  ever  seen  me  at  his  house  or  their  own ;  for 
they  alleged,  that  because  I  had  some  rudiments  of  reason, 
added  to  the  natural  gravity  of  those  animals,  it  was  to  be 
feared  I  might  be  able  to  seduce  them  into  the  woody  and 
mountainous  parts  of  the  country,  and  bring  them  in  troops 
by  night  to  destroy  the  Houyhnhnms'  cattle,  as  being  nat- 
urally of  the  ravenous  kind,  and  averse  from  labor." 

My  master  added,  ''that  he  was  daily  pressed  by  the 
Houyhnhnms  of  the  neighborhood,  to  have  the  assembly's 
exhortation  executed,  which  he  could  not  put  off  much 
longer.  He  doubted  it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to 
swim  to  another  country;  and  therefore  wished  I  would 
contrive  some  sort  of  a  vehicle,  resembling  those  I  had  de- 

22 


338  GULLIVER'S   fRAVELS. 

scribed  to  him,  that  might  carry  me  on  the  sea;  in  which 
work  I  should  have  the  assistance  of  his  own  servants,  as 
/  well  as  those  of  his  neighbors."  He  concluded,  ''that  for 
/  his  own  part,  he  could  have  been  content  to  keep  me  in  his 
(  service  as  long  as  I  lived;  because  he  found  I  had  cured 
V  myself  of  some  bad  habits  and  dispositions,  by  endeavoring, 
J  as  far  as  my  inferior  nature  was  capable,  to  imitate  the 
/  Houyhnhnms." 

^  I  should  here  observe  to  the  reader,  that  a  decree  of  the 
general  assembly  in  this  country  is  expressed  by  the  word 
hnhloayn,  which  signifies  an  exhortation,  as  near  as  I  can 
render  it:  for  they  have  no  conception  how  a  rational  crea- 
ture can  be  compelled,  but  only  advised,  or  exhorted;  be- 
cause no  person  can  disobey  reason,  without  giving  up  his 
claim  to  be  a  rational  creature. 

I  was  struck  with  the  utmost  grief  and  despair  at  my 
masters  discourse;  and  being  unable  to  support  the  agonies 
I  was  under,  I  fell  into  a  swoon  at  his  feet.  When  I  came 
to  myself  he  told  me,  ''that  he  concluded  I  had  been  dead;" 
for  these  people  are  subject  to  no  such  imbecilities  of  na- 
ture. I  answered  in  a  faint  voice, '''that  death  would  have 
been  too  great  a  happiness;  that  although  I  could  not 
blame  the  assembly's  exhortation,  or  the  urgency  of  his 
friends ;  yet,  in  my  weak  and  corrupt  judgment,  I  thought 
it  might  consist  with  reason  to  have  been  less  rigorous: 
that  I  could  not  swim  a  league,  and  probably  the  nearest 
land  to  theirs  might  be  distant  above  a  hundred :  that  many 
materials,  necessary  for  making  a  small  vessel  to  carry  me 
off,  were  wholly  wanting  in  this  country;  which,  however, 
•I  would  attempt,  in  obedience  and  gratitude  to  his  honor, 
although  I  concluded  the  thing  to  be  impossible,  and  there- 
fore looked  on  myself  as  already  devoted  to  destruction: 
that  the  certain  prospect  of  an  unnatural  death  was  the 
least  of  my  evils;  for,  supposing  I  shnulrj  pgrapp  with  lifp 
bv^me^range  adventu^^,  ho^^^  mnlrl  T  tVii'nV  w^'thj^^jmppr 
of  passing  my  days  among  Yahoos,  and  relapsing  into  my 
old  Corruptions  for  wgjnj-  f^f  pv^p]pQ  tp  lead  and  keep  me 
withirTTITFpaths  oijArt^  that  I  knew  too  well  upon  what 
solid  reasons  all  the  determinations  of  the  wise  Houyhn- 
hnms  were  founded,  not  to  be  shaken  by  arguments  of 
mine,  a  miserable  Yahoo;  and  therefore,  after  presenting 
him  with  my  humble  thanks  for  the  ofifer  of  his  servant's 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  339 

assistance  in  making  a  vessel,  and  desiring  a  reasonable 
time  for  so  difficult  a  work,  I  told  him  I  would  endeavor  to 
preserve  a  wretched  being;  and  if  ever  I  returned  to  Eng- 
land, was  not  without  hopes  of  being  useful  to  my  own  spe- 
cies, by  celebrating  the  praises  of  the  renowned  Houyhn- 
hnms,  and  proposing  their  virtues  to  the  imitation  of  man- 
kind." 

My  master,  in  a  few  words,  made  a  very  gracious  reply; 
allowed  me  the  space  of  two  months  to  finish  my  boat ;  and 
ordered  the  sorrel  nag,  my  fellow  servant  (for  so  at  this  dis- 
tance I  may  presume  to  call  him),  to  follow  my  instruction, 
because  I  told  my  master,  "that  his  help  would  be  sufficient, 
and  I  knew  he  had  a  tenderness  for  me." 

In  his  company,  my  first  business  was  to  go  to  that  part 
of  the  coast  where  my  rebellious  crew  had  ordered  me  to  be 
set  on  shore.  I  got  upon  a  height,  and  looking  on  every 
side  into  the  sea,  fancied  I  saw  a  small  island  towards  the 
north-east;  I  took  out  my  pocket-glass,  and  could  then 
clearly  distinguish  it  about  five  leagues  ofif,  as  I  computed: 
but  it  appeared  to  the  sorrel  nag  to  be  only  a  blue  cloud: 
for  as  he  had  no  conception  of  ^any  country  beside  his  own, 
so  he  could  not  be  as  expert  in  distinguishing  remote  ob- 
jects at  sea,  as  we  who  so  much  converse'^'  in  that  element. 

After  I  had  discovered  this  island,  I  considered  no  far- 
ther: but  resolved  it  should,  if  possible,  be  the  first  place  of 
my  banishment,  leaving  the  consequence  to  fortune. 

I  returned  home,  and  consulting  with  the  sorrel  nag,  we 
went  into  a  copse  at  some  distance,  where  I  with  my  knife, 
and  he  with  a  sharp  flint,  fastened  very  artificially  after 
their  manner  to  a  wooden  .handle,  cut  down  several  oak 
wattles,  about  the  thickness  of  a  walking  staff,  and  some 
larger  pieces.  But  I  shall  not  trouble  the  reader  with  a 
particular  description  of  my  own  mechanics;  let  it  suffice 
to  say,  that  in  six  weeks'  time,  with  the  help  of  the  sorrel 
nag,  who  performed  the  parts  that  required  most  labor,  I 
finished  a  sort  of  Indian  canoe,  but  much  larger,  covering 
it  with  the  skins  of  Yahoos,  well  stitched  together  with 
hempen  threads  of  my  own  making.  My  sail  was  likewise 
composed  of  the  skins  of  the  same  animal;  but  I  made  use 

*  This  is  an  uncommon  use  of  the  word  "converse";  instead  of  the 
verb,  the  adjective  is  always  employed  in  this  sense;  as  thus — "as  we 
who  are  so  conversant  in  that  element, "—Sheridan. 


310  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

of  the  youngest  I  could  get,  the  older  being  too  tough  and 
thick;  and  I  likewise  provided  myself  with  four  paddles. 
I  laid  in  a  stock  of  boiled  flesh  of  rabbits  and  fowls;  and 
took  with  me  two  vessels,  one  filled  with  milk  and  the  other 
with  water. 

I  tried  my  canoe  in  a  large  pond,  near  my  master's  house, 
and  then  corrected  in  it  what  was  amiss;  stopping  all  the 
chinks  with  Yahoo's  tallow,  till  I  found  it  staunch,  and  able 
to  bear  me  and  my  freight ;  and  when  it  was  as  complete  as 
I  could  possibly  make  it,  I  had  it  drav/n  on  a  carriage  very 
gently  by  Yahoos  to  the  seaside,  under  the  conduct  of  the 
sorrel  nag  and  another  servant. 

When  all  was  ready,  and  the  day  came  for  my  departure, 
I  took  leave  of  my  master,  and  lady,  and  the  whole  family, 
my  eyes  flowing  with  tears,  and  my  heart  quite  sunk  with 
grief.  But  his  honor,  out  of  curiosity,  and  perhaps,  (if  I 
may  speak  it  without  vanity)  partly  out  of  kindness,  was 
determined  to  see  me  in  my  canoe;  and  got  several  of  his 
neighboring  friends  to  accompany  him.  I  was  forced  to 
wait  above  an  hour  for  the  tide,  and  then  observing  the 
wind  very  fortunately  bearing  towards  the  island  to  which 
I  intended  to  steer  my  course,  I  took  a  second  leave  of  my 
master:  but  as  I  was  going  to  prostrate  myself  to  kiss  his 
hoof,  he  did  me  the  honor  to  raise  it  gently  to  my  mouth. 
I  am  not  ignorant  how  much  I  have  been  censured  for  men- 
tioning this  last  particular.  Detractors  are  pleased  to  think 
it  improbable,  that  so  illustrious  a  person  should  descend 
to  give  so  great  a  mark  of  distinction  to  a  creaku'e  so  in- 
ferior as  I.  Neither  have  I  forgotten  how  apt  some  trav- 
elers are  to  boast  of  extraordinary  favors  they  have  re- 
ceived. But,  if  these  censurers  were  better  acquainted  with 
the  noble  and  courteous  disposition  of  the  Houyhnhnms, 
they  would  soon  change  their  opinion. 

I  paid  my  respects  to  the  rest  of  the  Houyhnhnms  in  his 
honoris  company;  then  getting  into  my  canoe,  I  pushed  off 
from  the  shore. 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  341 


CHAPTER  XL 

THE  AUTHOR'S  DANGEROUS  VOYAGE— HE  ARRIVES  AT  NEW 
HOLLAND,  HOPING  TO  SETTLE  THERE  —  IS  WOUNDED 
WITH  AN  ARROW  BY  ONE  OP  THE  NATIVES— IS  SEIZED 
AND  CARRIED  BY  FORCE  INTO  A  PORTUGUESE  SHIP— THE 
GREAT  CIVILITIES  OF  THE  CAPTAIN— THE  AUTHOR  AR- 
RIVES AT  ENGLAND. 

Just  at  nine  o'clock  in  the  morning  of  February  15,  1714, 
I  began  this  desperate  voyage.  The  wind  was  very  favora- 
ble; however,  I  made  use  at  first  only  of  my  paddles:  but 
considering  I  should  soon  be  weary,  and  that  the  wind 
might  chop  about,  I  ventured  to  set  up  my  little  sail;  and 
thus,  with  the  help  of  the  tide,  I  went  at  the  rate  of  a  league 
and  a  half  an  hour,  as  near  as  I  could  guess.  My  master 
and  his  friends  continued  on  the  shore  till  I  was  almost  out 
of  sight;  and  I  often  heard  the  sorrel  nag  (who  always  loved 
me)  crying  out  ''Hnuy  illanyha  majah  Yahoo;" — Take  care 
of  thyself,  gentle  Yahoo. 

My  design  was,  if  possible,  to  discover  some  small  island 
uninhabited,  yet  sufficient  by  my  labor  to  furnish  me  with 
the  necessaries  of  life,  which  I  would  have  thought  a  great- 
er happiness,  than  to  be  first  minister  in  the  politest  court 
of  Europe;  so  horrible  was  the  idea  I  conceived  of  return- 
ing to  live  in  the  society  and  under  the  government  of  Ya- 
hoos.    For  in  such  a  solitude  as  I  desired,  I  could  at  least  ^ 
enjoy  my  own  thoughts,  and  reflect  with  delight  on  thei 
virtues  of  those  inimitable  Houyhnhnms  without  any  op-/ 
portunity  of  degenerating  into  the  vices  and  corruptions  of  S 
my  own  species.  "^ 

The  reader,  may  remember  what  I  related  when  my  crew 
conspired  against  me,  and  confined  me  to  my  cabin;  how  I 
continued  there  several  weeks  without  knowing  what  course 
we  took,  and  when  I  vv^as  put  ashore  in  the  longboat,  how 
the  sailors  told  me  with  oaths,  whether  true  or  false,  ''that 
they  knew  not  in  what  part  of  the  world  we  were."  Hovv- 
ever,  I  did  then  believe  us  to  be  about  10  degrees  south- 
w^ard  of  the  Cape  of  Good  Hope,  or  about  45  degrees  south- 


342  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

ern  latitude,  as  I  gathered  from  some  general  words  I  over- 
heard among  them,  being  I  supposed  to  the  south-east  in 
their  intended  voyage  to  Madagascar.  And  although  this 
were  little  better  than  conjecture,  yet  I  resolved  to  steer  my 
course  eastward,  hoping  to  reach  the  south-west  coast  of 
New  Holland,  and  perhaps  some  such  island  as  I  desired, 
lying  westward  of  it.  The  wind  was  full  west,  and  by  six 
in  the  evening  I  computed  I  had  gone  eastward  at  least 
eighteen  leagues;  when  I  spied  a  very  small  island  about 
half  a  league  off,  which  I  soon  reached.  It  was  nothing 
but  a  rock,  with  one  creek  naturally  arched  by  the  force  of 
tempests.  Here  I  put  in  my  canoe,  and  climbing  a  part  of 
the  rock,  I  could  plainly  discover  land  to  the  east  extending 
from  south  to  north.  I  lay  all  night  in  my  canoe,  and  re- 
peating my  voyage  early  in  the  morning,  I  arrived  in  seven 
hours  to  the  south-west  point  of  New  Holland.  This  con- 
firmed me  in  the  opinion  I  have  long  entertained,  that  the 
maps  and  charts  place  this  country  at  least  three  degrees 
more  to  the  east  than  it  really  is;  which  thought  I  com- 
municated many  years  ago  to  my  worthy  friend,  Mr.  Her- 
man Moll,  and  gave  him  my  reasons  for  it,  although  he  has 
rather  chosen  to  follow  other  authors. 

•^  I  saw  no  inhabitants  in  the  place  where  I  landed,  and 
being  unarmed,  I  was  afraid  of  venturing  far  into  the  coun- 
try. I  found  some  shellfish  on  the  shore,  and  ate  them  raw, 
not  daring  to  kindle  a  fire,  for  fear  of  being  discovered  by 
the  natives.  I  continued  three  days  feeding  on  oysters  and 
limpets,  to  save  my  own  provisions;  and  I  fortunately  found 
a  brook  of  excellent  water,  which  gave  me  great  relief. 

On  the  fourth  day,  venturing  out  a  little  too  far,  I  -saw 
twenty  or  thirty  natives  upon  a  height  not  above  five  hun- 
dred yards  from  me.  They  were  stark  naked,  men,  women 
and  children  round  a  fire,  as  I  could  discover  by  the  smoke. 
One  of  them  spied  me,  and  gave  notice  to  the  rest;  five  of 
them  advanced  toward  me,  leaving  the  women  and  children 
at  the  fire.  I  made  what  haste  I  could  to  the  shore,  and, 
getting  into  my  canoe,  shoved  off:  the  savages,  observing 
me  retreat,  ran  after  me,  and  before  I  could  get  far  enough 
into  the  sea,  discharged  an  arrow,  which  wounded  me  deep- 
ly on  the  inside  of  my  left  knee:  I  shall  carry  the  mark  to 
my  grave.  I  apprehended  the  arrow  might  be  poisoned, 
and  paddling  out  of  the  reach  of  their  darts  (being  a  calm 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  343 

day),  I  made  a  shift  to  suck  the  wound,  and  dress  it  as  Vv^ell 
as  I  could. 

I  was  at  a  loss  what  to  do,  for  I  durst  not  return  to  the 
same  landing-place,  but  stood  to  the  north,  and  was  forced 
to  paddle;  for  the  wind,  though  very  gentle,  was  against 
me  blowing  north-west.  As  I  was  looking  about  for  a  se- 
cure landing-place,  I  saw  a  sail  to  the  north-north-east, 
which  appearing  every  minute  more  visible,  I  was  in  some 
doubt  whether  I  should  v/ait  for  them  or  not;  but  at  last 
my  detestation  of  the  Yahoo  race  prevailed;  and  turning 
my  canoeV  1  sailed^  aiid  paddled  together  to  the  south,  and 
got  into  the  same  creek  whence  I  set  out  in  the  morning, 
choosing  rather  to  trust  myself  among  these  barbarians, 
than  live  with  European  Yahoos.  I  drew  up  my  canoe  as 
close  as  I  could  to  the  shore,  and  hid  myself  behind  a  stone 
by  the  little  brook,  which,  as  I  have  already  said,  was  ex- 
cellent water. 

The  ship  came  v/ithin  half  a  league  of  this  creek,  and  sent 
her  longboat  with  vessels  to  take  in  fresh  water  (for  the 
place  it  seems  was  very  well  knowai),  but  I  did  not  observe 
it,  till  the  boat  was  almost  on  shore;  and  it  was  too  late  to 
seek  another  hiding-place.  The  seamen  at  their  landing 
observed  my  canoe,  and  rumaging  it  all  over,  easily  con- 
jectured that  the  owner  could  not  be  far  ofif.  Four  of  them, 
well  armed,  searched  every  cranny  and  lurking-hole,  till  at 
last  they  found  me  fiat  on  my  face  behind  the  stone.  They 
gazed  awhile  in  admiration  at  my  strange  uncouth  dress; 
my  coat  made  of  skins,  my  wooden  shoes  and  my  furred 
stockings;  whence,  however,  they  concluded  I  was  not  a 
native  of  the  place,  who  all  go  naked.  One  of  the  seamen,  in 
Portuguese,  bid  me  rise,  and  asked  me  who  I  was.  I  un- 
derstood that  language  very  w^ell,  and  getting  upon  my  feet, 
said,  "I  was  a  poor  Yahoo,  banished  from  the  Houyhnhnms, 
and  desired  they  would  please  to  let  me  depart."  They  ad- 
mired to  hear  me  answer  them  in  their  own  tongue,  and  saw 
by  my  complexion  I  must  be  a  European;  but  were  at  a  -^ 
loss  to  know  what  I  meant  by  Yahoos  and  Hou3^hnhnms; 
and  at  the  same  time  fell  a  laughing  at  my  strange  tone  in 
speaking,  which  resembled  the  neighing  of  a  horse.  I 
trembled  all  the  while  betwixt  fear  and  hatred.  I  again  de- 
sired leave  to  depart,  and  was  gently  moving  to  my  canoe: 
but  they  laid  hold  of  me,  desiring  to  know  'Svhat  country 


344  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

I  was  of?  whence  I  came?"  with  many  other  questions.  I 
told  them  I  was  born  in  England,  whence  I  came  about  five 
years  ago,  and  then  their  country  and  ours  were  at  peace. 
I  therefore  hoped  they  would  not  treat  me  as  an  enemy, 
since  I  meant  them  no  harm;  but  was  a  poor  Yahoo,  seek- 
ing some  desolate  place  where  to  pass  the  remainder  of  his 
unfortunate  life. 

When  they  began  to  talk,  I  thought  I  never  heard  or  saw 
anything  so  unnatural;  for  it  appeared  to  me  as  monstrous 
as  if  a  dog  or  a  cow  should  speak  in  England,  or  a  Yahoo  in 
Houyhnhnmland.  The  honest  Portuguese  were  equally 
amazed  at  my  strange  dress,  and  the  odd  manner  of  deliv- 
ering my  words,  which,  however,  they  understood  very  well. 
They  spoke  to  me  with  great  humanity,  and  said,  "they 
were  sure  the  captain  would  carry  me  gratis  to  Lisbon, 
whence  I  might  return  to  my  own  country;  that  two  of  the 
seamen  would  go  back  to  the  ship,  inform  the  captain  of 
what  they  had  seen,  and  receive  his  orders;  in  the  mean- 
time, unless  I  would  give  my  solemn  oath  not  to  fly,  they 
would  secure  me  by  force."  I  thought  it  best  to  comply 
with  their  proposal.  They  were  very  curious  to  know  my 
story,  but  I  gave  them  very  little  satisfaction,  and  they  all 
conjectured  that  my  misfortunes  had  impaired  my  reason. 
In  two  hours  the  boat,  which  went  laden  with  vessels  of 
w^ater,  returned  with  the  captain's  command  to  fetch  me  on 
board.  I  fell  on  my  knees  to  preserve  my  liberty;  but  all 
was  in  vain ;  and  the  men  having  tied  me  with  cords,  heaved 
me  into  the  boat,  whence  I  was  taken  into  the  ship,  and 
thence  into  the  captain's  cabin. 

His  name  was  Pedro  de  Mendez;  he  was  a  very  court- 
eous and  generous  person.  He  entreated  me  to  give  some 
account  of  myself,  and  desired  to  know  what  I  would  eat 
or  drink;  said,  "I  should  be  used  as  well  as  himself;"  and 
spoke  so  many  obliging  things,  that  I  wondered  to  find  such 
civilities  from  a  Yahoo.  How^ever,  I  remained  silent  and 
sullen;  I  was  ready  to  faint  at  the  very  smell  of  him  and  his 
men.  At  last  I  desired  something  to  eat  out  of  my  own 
canoe;  but  he  ordered  me  a  chicken,  and  some  excellent 
wine,  and  then  directed  that  I  should  be  put  to  bed  in  a  very 
clean  cabin.  I  would  not  undress  myself,  but  lay  on  the 
bedclothes,  and  in  half  an  hour  stole  out  when  I  thought 
the  men  were  at  dinner,  and  getting  to  the  side  of  the  ship, 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  345 

was  going  to  leap  into  the  sea  and  swim  for  my  life,  rather 
than  continue  among  Yahoos.  But  one  of  the  seamen  pre- 
vented me,  and  having  informed  the  captain,  I  was  chained 
to  my  cabin. 

After  dinner,  Don  Pedro  came  to  me,  and  desired  to  know 
my  reason  for  so  desperate  an  attempt;  assured  me,  '*he 
only  meant  to  do  me  all  the  service  he  was  able ;"  and  spoke 
so  very  movingly,  that  at  last  I  descended  to  treat  him  like 
an  animal  which  had  some  little  portion  of  reason.  I  gave 
him  a  very  short  relation  of  my  voyage;  of  the  conspiracy 
against  me  by  my  own  men ;  of  the  country  where  they  set 
me  on  shore,  and  of  my  five  years'  residence  there:  all 
which  he  looked  upon  as  if  it  were  a  dream  or  a  vision; 
whereat  I  took  great  offense;  for  I  had  quite  forgot  the 
faculty  of  lying,  so  peculiar  to  Yahoos  in  all  countries  where 
they  preside,  and  consequently,  the  disposition  of  suspect- 
ing truth  in  others  of  their  own  species.  I  asked  him, 
"whether  it  were  the  custom  in  his  country  to  say  the  thing 
which  v/as  not?"  I  assured  him,  ''I  had  almost  forgot  what 
he  meant  by  falsehood,  and  if  I  had  lived  a  thousand  years 
in  Houyhnhnmland,  I  should  never  have  heard  a  lie  from 
the  meanest  servant;  that  I  Vv^as  altogether  indifferent 
whether  he  believed  me  or  not;  but  however,  in  return  for 
his  favors,  I  would  give  so  much  allowance  to  the  corrup- 
tion of  his  nature,  as  to  answer  any  objections  he  might 
please  to  make,  and  then  he  might  easily  discover  the  truth." 

The  captain,  a  v/ise  man,  after  many  endeavors  to  catch 
me  tripping  in  some  part  of  my  story,  at  last  began  to  have 
a  better  opinion  of  my  veracity.  But  he  added  "that  since 
I  professed  so  inviolable  an  attachment  to  truth,  I  must  give 
him  my  word  and  honor  to  bear  him  company  in  his  voyage, 
without  attempting  anything  against  my  life;  or  else  he 
would  continue  me  a  prisoner  until  we  arrived  at  Lisbon." 
I  gave  him  the  promise  required;  but  at  the  same  time  pro- 
tested, "that  I  would  suffer  the  greatest  hardships,  rather 
than  return  to  live  among  Yahoos." 

Our  voyage  passed  without  any  considerable  accident. 
In  gratitude  to  the  captain,  I  sometimes  sat  with  him  at  his 
earnest  request,  and  strove  to  conceal  my  antipathy  against 
humankind,  although  it  often  broke  out,  which  he  suffered 
to  pass  without  observation.  But  the  greatest  part  of  the 
day  I  confined  myself  to  my  cabin,  to  avoid  seeing  any  of 


346  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

the  crew.  The  captain  had  often  entreated  me  to  strip  my- 
self of  my  savage  dress,  and  ofifered  to  lend  me  the  best  suit 
of  clothes  he  had.  This  I  would  not  be  prevailed  on  to  ac- 
cept, abhorring  to  cover  myself  with  anything  that  had 
been  on  the  back  of  a  Yahoo ;  I  only  desired  he  would  lend 
me  two  clean  shirts,  which  having  been  washed  since  he 
wore  them,  I  believed  would  not  so  much  defile  me.  These 
I  changed  every  second  day,  and  Vv^ashed  them  myself. 

We  arrived  at  Lisbon,  November  5th,  171 5.  At  our 
landing,  the  captain  forced  me  to  cover  myself  with  his 
cloak,  to  prevent  the  rabble  from  crowding  about  me.  I 
was  conveyed  to  his  own  house;  and  at  my  earnest  request 
he  led  me  up  to  the  highest  room  backward.  I  conjured 
him  ''to  conceal  from  all  persons  what  I  had  told  him  of  the 
Houyhnhnms ;  because  the  least  hint  of  such  a  story  would 
not  only  draw  numbers  of  people  to  see  me,  but  probably 
put  me  in  danger  of  being  imprisoned,  or  burnt  by  the  In- 
quisition." The  captain  persuaded  me  to  accept  a  suit  of 
clothes  newly  made;  but  I  would  not  suffer  the  tailor  to 
take  my  measure;  however,  Don  Dedro  being  almost  of 
my  size,  they  fitted  me  well  enough.  He  accoutred  me 
with  other  necessaries,  all  new,  which  I  aired  for  twenty- 
four  hours  before  I  would  use  them. 

The  captain  had  no  wife,  nor  above  three  servants,  none 

^  of  which  were  suffered  to  attend  at  meals;   and  his  whole 

^  %f  >  '  deportment  was  so  obliging,  added  to  very  good  hum.an 

t    \  .^  understanding,  that  I  really  began  to  tolerate  his  company. 

I   ""^^  He  gained  so  far  upon  me,  that  I  ventured  to  look  out  of 

^^s:^  the  back  window.     By  degrees  I  was  brought  into  another 

[  ^      room,  whence  I  peeped  into  the  street,  but  drew  my  head 

i'^      back  in  a  fright.     In  a  week's  time  he  seduced  me  down  to 

^j   the  door.     I  found  my  terror  gradually  lessened,  but  my 

hatred  and  contempt  seemed  to  increase.     I  was  at  last  bold 

enough  to  walk  the  street  in  his  company,  but  kept  my  nose 

well  stopped  with  rue,  and  sometimes  with  tobacco. 

In  ten  days,  Don  Pedro,  to  whom  I  had  given  some  ac- 
count of  my  domestic  afifairs,  put  it  upon  me,  as  a  matter  of 
honor  and  conscience,  ''that  I  ought  to  return  to  my  native 
country,  and  live  at  home  with  my  wife  and  children."  He 
told  me,  "there  was  an  English  ship  in  port  just  ready  to 
sail,  and  he  would  furnish  me  with  all  things  necessary." 
It  would  be  tedious  to  repeat  his  arguments,  and  my  con- 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  347 

tradictions.  He  ^aid,  "it  was  altogether  impossible  to  find 
such  a  solitary  island  as  I  had  desired  to  live  in;  but  I 
might  command  in  my  own  house,  and  pass  my  time  in  a 
manner  as  recluse  as  I  pleased." 

I  complied  at  last,  finding  I  could  do  no  better.  I  left 
Lisbon  the  24th  day  of  November,  in  an  English  merchant- 
man, but  who  was  the  master  I  never  inquired.  Don  Pedro 
accompanied  me  to  the  ship,  and  lent  me  twenty  pounds. 
He  took  kind  leave  of  me,  and  embraced  me  at  parting, 
which  I  bore  as  well  as  I  could.  During  this  last  voyage  I 
had  no  commerce  with  the  master  or  any  of  his  men;  but 
pretending  I  was  sick,  kept  close  in  my  cabin.  On  the  25th 
of  December,  171 5,  we  cast  anchor  at  the  Downs,  about 
nine  in  the  morning,  and  at  three  in  the  afternoon  I  got 
safe  to  my  house  at  Redriff. 

My  wife  and  family  received  me  with  great  surprise  and 
joy,  because  they  concluded  me  certainly  dead;  but  I  must 
freely  confess  the  sight  of  them  filled  me  only  with  hatred, 
disgust,  and  contem.pt:  and  the  more,  by  reflecting  on  the 
near  alliance  I  had  to  them.  For  although,  since  my  un- 
fortunate exile  from  the  Houyhnhnm  country,  I  had  com- 
pelled myself  to  tolerate  the  sight  of  Yahoos,  and  to  con- 
verse with  Don  Pedro  de  Mendez,  yet  my  memory  and 
imagination  were  perpetually  filled  with  the  virtues  and 
ideas  of  those  exalted  Houyhnhnms.  And  when  I  began  to 
consider  that,  by  copulating  with  one  of  the  Yahoo  species 
I  had  become  a  parent  of  more,  it  struck  me  with  the  ut- 
most shame,  confusion,  and  horror. 

As  soon  as  I  entered  the  house,  my  wife  took  me  in  her 
arms  and  kissed  me;  at  which,  having  not  been  used  to  the 
touch  of  that  odious  animal  for  so  many  years,  I  fell  into  a 
swoon  for  almost  an  hour.  At  the  time  I  am  writing,  it  is 
five  years  since  my  last  return  to  England;  during  the  first 
year,  I  could  not  endure  my  wife  and  children  in  my  pres- 
ence; the  smell  of  them  was  intolerable;  much  less  could  I 
sufifer  them  to  eat  in  the  same  room.  To  this  hour  they 
dare  not  presume  to  touch  my  bread,  or  drink  out  of  the 
same  cup,  neitjier  was  I  ever  able  to  let  one  of  them  take 
me  by  the  hand.  The  first  money  I  laid  out  was  to  buy 
two  young  stone-horses,  which  I  keep  in  a  good  stable ;  and 
next  to  them  the  groom  is  my  greatest  favorite;  for  I  feel 
my  spirits  revived  by  the  smell  he  contracts  in  the  stable. 


348  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

My  horses  understand  me  tolerably  well;  I  converse  with 
them  at  least  four  hours  every  day.  They  are  strangers  to 
bridle  and  saddle;  they  live  in  great  amity  with  me,  and 
friendship  to  each  other. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

THE  AUTHOR'S  VERACITY— HIS  DESIGN  IN  PUBLISHING  THIS 
WORK  — HIS  CENSURE  OF  THOSE  TRAVELERS  WHO 
SWERVE  FROM  THE  TRUTH— THE  AUTHOR  CLEARS  HIM- 
SELF FROM  ANY  SINISTER  ENDS  IN  WRITING— AN  OBJEC- 
TION ANSWERED— THE  METHOD  OF  PLANTING  COLONIES 
—HIS  NATIVE  COUNTRY  COMMENDED— THE  RIGHT  OF  THE 
CROWN  TO  TPIOSE  COUNTRIES  DESCRIBED  BY  THE  AU- 
THOR IS  JUSTIFIED— THE  DIFFICULTY  OF  CONQUERING 
THEM— THE  AUTHOR  TAKES  HIS  LAST  LEAVE  OF  THE 
READER;  PROPOSES  HIS  MANNER  OF  LIVING  FOR  THE 
FUTURE;   GIVES  GOOD   ADVICE,   AND  CONCLUDES. 

And  thus  gentle  reader,  I  have  given  thee  a  faithful  his- 
tory of  my  travels  for  sixteen  years  and  about  seven  months ; 
wherein  I  have  not  been  so  studious  of  ornament  as  of  truth. 
I  could  perhaps,  like  others,  have  astonished  thee  with 
strange  improbable  tales:  but  I  rather  chose  to  relate  plain 
matter  of  fact  in  the  simplest  manner  and  style;  because 
my  principal  design  was  to  inform,  and  not  to  amuse  thee. 

It  is  easy  for  us  to  travel  into  remote  countries,  which  are 
seldom  visited  by  Englishmen  or  other  Europeans,  to  form 
descriptions  of  wonderful  animals  both  at  sea  and  land. 
V/hereas  a  traveler's  chief  aim  should  be  to  make  men  wiser 
and  better,  and  to  imiprove  their  minds  by  the  bad,  as  well 
as  good  example,  of  what  they  deliver  concerning  foreign 
places. 

I  could  heartily  wish  a  law  was  enacted,  that  every  trav- 
eler, before  he  were  permitted  to  publish  his  voyages,  should 
be  obliged  to  make  oath  before  the  Lord  High  Chancellor, 
that  all  he  intended  to  print  was  absolutely  true  to  the  best 
of  his  knowledge;  for  then  the  world  would  no  longer  be 
deceived,  as  it  usually  is,  while  some  writers,  to  make  their 
works  pass  the  better  upon  the  public,  impose  the  grossest 
falsities  on  the  unwary  reader.  I  have  perused  several 
books  of  travels  with  great  delight  in  my  younger  days; 


GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS.  349 

but  having  since  gone  over  most  parts  of  tlie  globe   and 
been  able  to  contradict  many  fabulous  accounts^  from  my 
own  observation,  it  has  given  me  a  great  disgust  against 
h.s  part  o  readmg,  and  some  indignation  to  sef  the  cfedu 
ity  of  mankmd  so  impudently  abused.    Therefore  since  ml 
acquaintance  were  pleased  to  think  my  poor  'ende-Tv^-s 
might  not  be  unacceptable  to  my  countVy^  I  imposed  on 
myself  as  a  maxim  never  to  be  swerved  from  that  T  wn„M 
strictly  adhere  to  truth;  neither  indeed  can  I-'bee^er  under 
the  least  temptation  to  vaiy  from  it,  while  I  retain  in  mv 
mmd  the  lecture  and  example  of  my' noble  master  and  t™e 
other  .  lustrious  Houyhnhnms  of  whom  I  had  so  long  the 
honor  to  be  an  humble  hearer  ^ 

„.      ., ^""^  ^'  miserum  Portuna  Sinonem 

Fmxit,  vanum  etiam,  mendaoemque  improba  finget. 

I  know  very  well,  how  litUe  reputation  is  to  be  eot  bv 
writings,  which  require  neither  genius  nor  learning  for  in 

folT  Til^\T  ^-^Pi-S-d  memory  "r^a.rexct 
journaJ.    i  know  likewise,  that  writers  of  travels  like  die 
tionary-makers,  are  sunk  into  oblivion  by  thlweiSt  ami 
bulk  of  those  who  come  last,  and  therefo^  ife  uSmos 
As  u  IS  highly  probable,  that  such  travelers,  who  shall  here 
after  visit  the  countries  described  in  this  worlTo^mSe  mav" 

SL  di?covfnV,'n7r  ^"  ''"^?  "^1  ^"y>'  -^^  -dding'man'; 
new  discoveries  of  their  own,  jostle  me  out  of  voe-tie   and 

^nliZT^U-r^  T^T^  *f,r^'^  f°^^*^^  ^hat  e^vfr"!  w'  s 
ai.  author      ihis  indeed  would  be  too  great  a  mortifirptinn 

Roo7l'catotr  .^t"*  'trf''  inte^ntion  w™e  puX 
good,  1  cannot  be  altogether  disappointed.     For  who  can 

read  of  thevirtues  I  have  mentioned  in  the  glorburHouv 

hnhnms,  without  being  ashamed  of  his  own  vices  wlien  he 

where  d  e  Yahno  nf  ^•/°*'''"^  °^  ''?°^^  '^"^^'^  nations 
Td  are  thl  llnhT  ^  '"^''  ^T°"^  ^^'^^  ^^^  'east  corrupt- 
ed are  the  Brobdingagians,  whose  wise  maxims  in  moral  tv 
and  government  it  would  be  our  happiness  to  ob  err  S 
I  forbear  descanting  farther,  and  rather  leave  the  iudicious 
reader  to  his  own  remarks  and  application  J"dicious 

1  am  not  a  little  pleased,  that  this  work  of  mine  can  dos- 
s.bly  mee  with  no  censurers;  for  what  objections  can  be 
made  against  the  writer,  who  relates  only  plain  facts?  that 


350  GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

happened  in  such  distant  countries,  where  we  have  not  the 
least  interest,  with  respect  either  to  trade  or  negotiations? 
I  have  carefully  avoided  every  fault,  with  which  common 
writers  of  travels  are  often  too  justly  charged.  Besides,  I 
meddle  not  the  least  with  any  party,  but  write  without  pas- 
sion, prejudice,  or  ill-will  against  any  man,  or  number  of 
men  whatsoever.  I  write  for  the  noblest  end  to  inform 
and  instruct  mankind;  over  whom  I  may,  without  breach  of 
modesty,  pretend  to  some  superiority,  from  the  advantages 
I  received  by  conversing  so  long  among  the  most  accom- 
pHshed  Houyhnhnms.  I  write  without  any  view  to  profit 
or  praise.  I  never  suffer  a  word  to  pass  that  may  look  like 
reflection,  or  possibly  give  the  least  ofifense,  even  to  those 
who  are  most  ready  to  take  it.  So  that  I  hope  I  may  with 
justice  pronounce  myself  an  author  perfectly  blameless; 
against  whom  the  tribes  of  Answerers,  Considerers,  Ob- 
servers, Reflectors,  Detecters,  Remarkers,  will  never  be  able 
to  find  matter  for  exercising  their  talents. 

I  confess,  it  was  whispered  to  me,  "that  I  was  bound  in 
duty,  as  a  subject  of  England,  to  have  given  in  a  memorial 
to  a  Secretary  of  State  at  my  first  coming  over:  because 
whatever  lands  are  discovered  by  a  subject,  belong  to  the 
crown."  But  I  doubt,  whether  our  conquests,  in  the  coun- 
tries I  treat  of,  would  be  as  easy  as  those  of  Ferdinando 
Cortez  over  the  naked  Americans.  The  Lilliputians,  I 
think,  are  hardly  worth  the  charge  of  a  fleet  and  an  army 
to  reduce  them;  and  I  question  whether  it  might  be  pru- 
dent or  safe  to  attempt  the  Brobdingnagians;  or  whether 
an  English  army  would  be  much  at  their  ease,  with  the  Fly- 
ing Island  over  their  heads.  The  Houyhnhnms  indeed  ap- 
pear not  to  be  so  w^ell  prepared  for  war,  a  science  to  which 
they  are  perfect  strangers,  and  especially  against  missive 
weapons.  However,  supposing  myself  to  be  a  minister  of 
state,  I  could  never  give  my  advice  for  invading  them.  Their 
prudence,  unanimity,  unacquaintedness  with  fear,  and  their 
love  of  their  country,  would  amply  supply  all  defects  in  the 
military  art.  Imagine  tw^enty  thousand  of  them  breaking 
into  the  midst  of  a  European  army,  confounding  the  ranks, 
overturning  the  carriages,  battering  the  warriors'  faces  into 
mummy  by  terrible  yerks  from  their  hinder  hoofs;  for  they 
would  well  deserve  the  character  given  to  Augustus,  Re- 
calcitrat  midique  tutus.       But,  instead  of  proposals  for  con- 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  351 

querin-g  that  magnanimous  nation,  I  rather  wish  they  were 
in  a  capacity,  or  disposition,  to  send  a  sufficient  number  of 
their  inhabitants  for  civihzing  Europe,  by  teaching  us  the 
first  principles  of  honor,  justice,  truth,  temperance,  pubhc 
spirit,  fortitude,  chastity,  friendship,  benevolence,  and  fidel- 
ity. The  names  of  all  which  virtues  are  still  retained  among 
us  in  most  languages,  and  are  to  be  met  with  in  modern,  as 
well  as  ancient  authors ;  which  I  am  able  to  assert  from  my 
own  small  reading. 

But  I  had  another  reason,  which  made  me  less  forward 
to  enlarge  his  majesty's  dominions  by  my  discoveries.  To 
say  the  truth,  I  had  conceived  a  few  scruples  with  relation 
to  the  distributive  justice  of  princes  upon  those  occasions. 
Instance,  a  crew  of  pirates  are  driven  by  a  storm  they  know 
not  whither;  at  length  a  boy  discovers  land  from  the  top- 
mast; they  go  on  shore  to  rob  and  plunder;  they  see  a 
harmless  people;  are  entertained  with  kindness;  they  give 
the  country  a  new  name;  they  take  formal  possession  of  it 
or  their  king;  they  set  up  a  rotten  plank,  or  stone,  for  a 
memorial ;  they  murder  two  or  three  dozen  of  the  natives, 
bring  away  a  couple  more  by  force,  for  a  sample;  return 
home,  and  get  their  pardon.  Here  commences  a  new  do- 
minion, acquired  with  a  title  by  divine  right.  Ships  are 
sent  with  the  first  opportunity;  the  natives  driven  out  9r 
destroyed;  their  princes  tortured  to  discover  their  gold; 
a  free  license  given  to  all  acts  of  inhumanity  and  lust,  the 
earth  reeking  with  the  blood  of  its  inhabitants;  and  this 
execrable  crew  of  butchers,  employed  in  so  pious  an  expedi- 
tion, is  a  modern  colony,  sent  to  convert  and  civilize  an 
idolatrous  and  barbarous  people. 

But  this  description,  I  confess,  does  by  no  means  affect 
the  British  nation,  who  may  be  an  example  to  the  whole 
world  for  their  wisdom,  care,  and  justice  in  planting  colon- 
ies; their  liberal  endowments  for  the  advancement  of  re- 
ligion and  learning;  their  choice  of  devout  and  able  pas- 
tors to  propagate  Christianity;  their  caution  in  stocking 
their  provinces  with  people  of  sober  lives  and  conversations 
from  this  the  mother  kingdom;  their  strict  regard  to  the 
distribution  of  justice,  in  supplying  the  civil  administration 
through  all  their  colonies  with  officers  of  the  greatest  abili- 
ties, utter  strangers  to  corruption;  and,  to  crown  all,  by 
sending  the  most  vigilant  and  virtuous  governors,  who  have 


852  GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS. 

no  other  views  than  the  happiness  of  the  people  over  whom 
they  preside,  and  the  honor  of  the  king  their  master. 

But  as  those  countries,  which  I  have  described,  do  not 
appear  to  have  any  desire  of  being  conquered  and  enslaved, 
murdered  or  driven  out,  by  colonies;  nor  abound  either  in 
gold,  silver,  sugar,  or  tobacco ;  I  did  humbly  conceive,  they 
were  by  no  means  proper  objects  of  our  zeal,  our  valor  or 
our  interest.  However,  if  those  whom  it  more  concerns 
think  fit  to  be  of  another  opinion,  I  am  ready  to  depose, 
when  I  shall  be  lawfully  called,  that  no  European  did  ever 
visit  those  countries  before  me,  I  m^ean,  if  the  inhabitants 
ought  to  be  believed,  unless  a  dispute  may  arise  concern- 
ing the  two  Yahoos,  said  to  have  been  seen  many  years  ago 
upon  a  mountain  in  Houyhnhnmland. 

But,  as  to  the  formality  of  taking  possession  in  my  sover- 
eign's name,  it  never  came  once  into  my  thoughts ;  and  if  it 
had,  yet,  as  my  affairs  then  stood,  I  should  perhaps,  in  point 
of  prudence  and  self-preservation,  have  put  it  off  to  a  better 
opportunity. 

Having  thus  answered  the  only  objection  that  can  ever  be 
raised  against  me  as  a  traveler,  I  here  take  a  final  leave  of 
all  my  courteous  readers,  and  return  to  enjoy  my  own  specu- 
lations in  my  little  garden  at  Redriff;  to  apply  those  excel- 
lent lessons  of  virtue,  which  I  learned  among  the  Hou- 
yhnhnms ;  to  instruct  the  Yahoos  of  my  own  family,  as  far 
as  I  shall  find  them  docible  animals;  to  behold  my  figure 
often  in  a  glass,  and  thus,  if  possible,  habituate  myself  by 
time  to  tolerate  the  sight  of  a  human  creature;  to  lament  the 
brutality  to  Houyhnhnms,  in  my  own  country,  but  always 
treat  their  persons  with  respect,  for  the  sake  of  my  noble 
master,  his  family,  his  friends,  and  the  v/hole  Houyhnhnm 
race,  whom  these  of  ours  have  the  honor  to  resemble  in  all 
their  lineaments,  however  their  intellectuals  came  to  degen- 
erate. 

I  began  last  week  to  permit  my  wife  to  sit  at  dinner  with 
me,  at  the  farthest  end  of  a  long  table;  and  to  answer  (but 
with  the  utmost  brevity)  the  few  questions  I  asked  her. 
Yet  the  smell  of  a  Yahoo  continuing  very  offensive,  I  al- 
ways keep  my  nose  well  stopped  with  rue,  lavender,  or  to- 
bacco leaves.  And  although  it  be  hard  for  a  man  late  in 
life  to  remove  old  habits,  I  am  not  altogether  out  of  hopes, 
in  some  time,  to  suffer  a  neighbor  Yahoo  in  my  company. 


GULLIVER'S   TRAVELS.  353 

without  the  apprehensions  I  am  yet  under  of  his  teeth  or 
his  claws. 

My  reconcilement  to  the  Yahoo  kind  in  general  might 
not  be  so  difficult,  if  they  would  be  content  with  those  vices 
and  follies  only,  which  nature  has  entitled  them.  to.  I  am 
not  in  the  least  provoked  at  the  sight  of  a  lawyer;  a  pick- 
pocket, a  colonel,  a  fool,  a  lord,  a  gamester,  a  politician,  a 
whoremonger,  a  physician,  an  evidence,  a  suborner,  an  at- 
torney, a  traitor,  or  the  like ;  this  is  all  according  to  the  due 
course  of  things:  but  when  I  behold  a  lump  of  deformity 
and  diseases,  both  in  body  and  mind,  smitten  with  pride,  it 
immediately  breaks  all  the  measures  of  my  patience;  neither 
shall  I  be  ever  able  to  comprehend  how  such  an  animal,  and 
such  a  vice,  could  tally  together.  The  wise  and  virtuous 
Houyhnhnms,  who  abound  in  all  the  excellences  that  can 
adorn  a  rational  creature,  have  no  name  for  this  vice  in  their 
language;  which  has  no  terms  to  express  anything  that  is 
evil,  except  those  whereby  they  describe  the  detestable 
qualities  of  their  Yahoos ;  among  which  they  were  not  able 
to  distinguish  this  of  pride  for  want  of  thoroughly  under- 
standing human  nature,  as  it  shows  itself  in  other  coun- 
tries where  that  animal  presides.  But  I,  who  had  more  ex- 
perience, could  plainly  observe  some  rudiments  of  it  among 
the  wild  Yahoos. 

But  the  Houyhnhnms,  who  live  under  the  government  of 
reason,  are  no  more  proud  of  the  good  qualities  they  possess 
than  I  should  be  for  not  wanting  a  leg  or  an  arm;  which 
no  man  in  his  wits  would  boast  of,  although  he  must  be 
miserable  without  them.  I  dwell  the  longer  upon  this  sub- 
ject, from  the  desire  I  have  to  make  the  society  of  an  Eng- 
lish Yahoo  by  any  means  not  insupportable;  and  therefore 
I  here  entreat  those,  who  have  any  tincture  of  this  absurd 
vice,  that  they  will  not  presume  to  come  in  my  sight. 


THE  END. 


The  Rand-IvicNally 
New  Alpha  Library  of  12moSo 

The  titles  selected  for  this  series  are  quite  above  the  ordinary 
12  mo  lines  in  literary  merit.  Only  the  most  popular  authors 
are  represented  in  it. 

In  this  library  the  endeavor  has  been  successfully  carried  out 
to  furnish,  at  a  moderate  price,  an  elegant  and  comprehensive 
series  of  high-class  books,  suitable  for  the  library  shelves. 

They  are  all  in  uniform  style,  being  printed  in  large  type  from 
new  plates,  on  extra  laid  paper,  with  trimmed  edges,  and  bound 
in  English  silk-corded  cloth,  titles  in  gold,  gold  tops. 


ABBE  CONSTANTIN. 

Halevy. 
ADAM  BEDE.  Eliot. 

AESOP'S  FABLES. 
AGAINST  ODDS.       Lynch. 
ALHAMBRA.  Irving 

ALICE.  Lytton. 

ALLAN   QUATERMAIN. 

Haggard. 
AN  AMERICAN   GIRL  IN 
LONDON.  Duncan. 

ANDERSEN'S  FAIRY 

TALES.  Andersen. 

ANNE  OF  GEIERSTEIN. 

Scott. 
ARABIAN     NIGHTS'     EN- 
TERTAINMENTS. 
ARDATH.  Corelli. 

AULD  LANG  SYNE. 

Russell. 
BARON  MUNCHAUSEN. 

Raspe. 
BARRACK     ROOM     BAL- 
LADS,     DEPARTMENT- 
AL       DITTIES,        AND 
OTHER  VERSE.    Kipling. 
BEATRICE.  Haggard. 

BETROTHED.  Scott. 

BEYOND  THE  CITY. 

Doyle. 
BIG  BOW  MYSTERY. 

Zangwill. 


BLACK    BEAUTY.      Sewell. 

BLACK   DWARF.  Scott. 

BLACK  TULIP.  Dumas. 

BONDMAN.  Caine. 

BRIDE  OF  LAMMER- 
MOOR.  Scott. 

BRYANT'S  POEMS. 

Bryant. 

CALLED  BACK.       Conway. 

CAST  UP  BY  THE  SEA. 

Baker. 

CAXTONS,   THE        Lytton. 

CHANGE  OF  AIR.       Hope. 

CHILDREN   OF  THE  AB- 
BEY. Roche. 

CLEOPATRA.  Haggard. 

CLOISTER  WENDHUSEN. 
Heimburg. 

COUNT  ROBERT  OF 
PARIS.  Scott. 

COUNTRY  SWEET- 
HEART. Russell. 

COWPER'S  POEMS. 

Cowper. 

DANESBURY  HOUSE. 

Wood. 

DANIRA.  Werner. 

DARK  DAYS.  Conway. 

DAVID  COPPERFIELD'. 

Dickens. 

DEEMSTER.  Caine. 

DEERSLAYER.  Cooper. 


NEW  ALPHA  LIBRARY. 


DESCENT  OF  MAN. 

Darwin. 
DESPERATE    REMEDIES. 

Hardy. 
DEVEREUX.  Lytton. 

DOCTOR  RAMEAU.  Ohnet. 
DOMBEY  &  SON.  Dickens. 
DONOVAN.  Lyall. 

DOROTHY'S  DOUBLE. 

Henty. 
DUCHESS.  The  Duchess. 
EARL'S  ATONEMENT. 

Clay. 
EAST  LYNNE.  Wood. 

ELSIE.  Heimburg. 

ERNEST  MALTRAVERS. 

Lytton. 
EUGENE  ARAM.  Lytton. 
FAIR  MAID  OF  PERTH. 

Scott. 
FAR    FROM    THE    MAD- 
DING CROWD.        Hardy. 
FIRST  VIOLIN.    FothergiU. 
FORTUNES  OF  NIGEL. 

Scott. 
FROMONT,  Jr.  AND   RIS- 
LER,  Sr.  Daiidet. 

GREAT   KEINPLATZ    EX- 
PERIMENT. Doyle. 
GREEN  MOUNTAIN 

BOYS.  Thompson. 

GRIMM'S    FAIRY   TALES. 
GRIMM'S      HOUSEHOLD 

TALES. 
GULLIVER'S  TRAVELS. 

Swift. 
GUY  MANNERING.  Scott. 
HANDY  ANDY.  Lover. 

HANS  OF  ICELAND. 

Hugo. 
HARLEQUIN  OPAL. 

Hume. 
HAROLD.  Lytton. 


HEIR  OF  LINNE. 

Buchanan. 
HEIR  OF  REDCLYFFE. 

Yonge. 
HIDDEN  CHAIN.  Russell. 
HIS  WILL  AND  HERS. 

Russell. 
HORTENSE.  Heimburg. 

HOUSE   OF  THE   SEVEN 

GABLES.  Hawthorne. 

HOUSE    OF   THE   WOLF. 

Weyman. 

HOUSE  PARTY.         Ouida. 

HUNCHBACK  OF  NOTRE 

DAME.  Hugo. 

HYPATIA.  Kingsley. 

IN  ALL  SHADES.  Allen. 
INTO  MOROCCO.  Loti. 
IRONMASTER.  Ohnet. 

IT'S    NEVER    TOO    LATE 
TO  MEND.  Reade. 

IVANHOE.  Scott. 

JANE   EYRE.  Bronte. 

JOHN     HALIFAX,     GEN- 
TLEMAN. Mulock. 
JOSEPH  BALSAMO. 

Dumas. 
KARMA.  Sinnett. 

KENELM  CHILLINGLY. 

Lytton. 
KENILWORTH.  Scott. 

KIDNAPPED.  Stevenson. 
KINGS  IN  EXILE.  Daudet. 
LAST  DAYS  OF  POMPEIL 

Lytton. 
LAST     OF     THE     MOHI- 
CANS. Cooper. 
LIGHT  OF  ASIA.      Arnold. 
LIGHT  THAT  FAILED. 

Kipling. 
LITTLE  REBEL. 

The  Duchess. 


NEW  ALPHA  LIBRARY. 


LORNA  DOONE. 

Blackmore. 
LUCILE.  Meredith. 

LUCRETIA.  Lytton. 

MAN   OF  MARK.         Hope. 
MAROONED.  Russell. 

MARRIAGE  AT  SEA. 

Russell. 
MARVEL.  The  Duchess. 

MASTER  OF  BALLAN- 

TRAE.  Stevenson. 

MASTER  OF  THE  MINE. 

Buchanan. 
MAYOR  OF  CASTER- 
BRIDGE.  Hardy. 
MEMOIRS  OF  A  PHYSI- 
CIAN. Dumas. 
MICAH  CLARKE.  Doyle. 
MICHAEL'S  CRAG.  Allen. 
MIDDLEMARCH.  Eliot. 
MILL  ON  THE  FLOSS. 

Eliot. 

MINE  OWN  PEOPLE  AND 

IN  BLACK  AND  WHITE. 

Kipling. 

MISJUDGED.         Heimburg. 

MODERN  CIRCE. 

The  Duchess. 
MONASTERY,  THE  Scott. 
MY  LADY  NICOTINE. 

Barrie. 
MYSTERY  OF  A  HANSOM 
CAB.  Hume. 

NAPOLEON  AND  MARIE 
LOUISE.  Durand. 

NEWCOMES.         Thackeray. 
NICHOLAS   NICKLEBY. 

Dickens. 
NOT  WISELY,   BUT  TOO 
WELL.  Broughton. 

ON  THE  HEIGHTS. 

Auerbach. 
ORIGIN  OF  SPECIES. 

Darwin. 


OUR  MUTUAL  FRIEND. 

Dickens. 
PATHFINDER.  Cooper. 

PAUL  CLIFFORD.  Lytton. 
PELHAM.  Lytton. 

PEVERIL  OF  THE  PEAK. 

Scott. 
PHANTOM  RICKSHAW. 

Kipling. 

PICKWICK   PAPERS. 

Dickens. 
PILGRIMS  OF  THE 

RHINE.  Lytton. 

PILGRIM'S  PROGRESS. 

Bunyan. 
PIONEERS.  Cooper. 

PLAIN  TALES  FROM  THE 
HILLS.  Kipling. 

PRAIRIE.  Cooper. 

PRICE  HE  PAID.     Werner. 

PRINCE  OF  THE  HOUSE 
OF  DAVID.         Ingraham. 

QUENTIN  DURWARD. 

Scott. 

REDGAUNTLET.  Scott. 

RED  HOUSE.    The  Duchess. 

RED    SULTAN.  Cobban. 

REPROACH    OF    ANNES- 
LEY.  Grey. 

RETURN     OF     THE     NA- 
TIVE. Hardy. 

RIENZI.  Lytton. 

ROBINSON    CRUSOE. 

Defoe. 

ROB  ROY.  Scott. 

ROMANCE  OF  TWO 
WORLDS.  Corelli. 

ROMOLA.  Eliot. 

ST.  RONAN'S  WELL. 

Scott. 

SCARLET  LETTER. 

Hawthorne. 

SCOTTISH  CHIEFS.  Porter. 


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